PROLOGUE

M Y  N U M B E R  2 2

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MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE OF the weather that day, or maybe because it was my first day as a college student, but I clearly remember how I was sweating all over, my chest tight as if I was minutes away from fainting.

I had just graduated from senior high school a couple of months ago. They say you experience a lot during those years, but unfortunately for me, I wasn’t able to experience anything dramatic. I didn’t have a group of friends I could hang out with, just people I casually talked to. No one approached me since my classmates thought I was too quiet, probably too quiet for my own good.

Long story short, I was the odd one out.

I was socially awkward, and I didn’t have the courage to go up to people and say hi. I didn’t have any interest that aligned with theirs, either. Honestly, extroverted people scared me. I get intimidated easily, and I tend to run away from them since I don’t like unnecessary attention. I was just your typical average Joe.

Well, until I met Blaine de la Cruz, a charming extroverted senior who approached every single freshman who he thought needed his help.

I met him during our freshmen orientation by complete chance. I arrived at the campus a bit late because I had a hard time catching the bus, so I arrived at the auditorium a couple of minutes later than the rest.

Everyone was already inside the auditorium, and the program had already started. I was contemplating whether or not I should still go in or just go to the cafeteria and waste my time there. I didn’t have any friends inside anyway, so no one would be looking for me. That was supposed to be the plan but…

“Hey! You!” Someone suddenly shouted, automatically making me stop walking out of the building.

I looked back and saw this tall man approaching me with a wide and excited smile. He scurried his way towards me, unconsciously making me grab hold of the straps of my backpack so my hands wouldn’t just awkwardly swing around. When he stopped in front of me, he pointed at my chest and asked, “Freshman?”

I looked around and noticed that he was actually with three other people. Judging by the way they acted, they’re probably all seniors.

“Yes,” I finally answered, and the man smiled and grabbed a red ribbon from one of his friends. Without any warning, he moved closer to me and tied the ribbon around my head, making me realize that they were all wearing a ribbon too, but it was blue.

“Alright, you can go inside now,” he told me.

“Uhm…I don’t have friends inside,” I replied, which I instantly regretted because there was no reason for me to tell him that. But surprisingly enough, he patted my back to encourage me. “Well, that’s the reason why you’re here, right? To make new friends,” he said with a warm smile, and that warm smile instantly reassured me.

Despite my doubts, I went to the orientation. Looking back, it was one of the best decisions I’ve made because I did meet my friends there, Jesse and Mark. They were like me, socially awkward but had a sense of humor. We instantly clicked the moment we got together.

The orientation was something I would never forget because other than meeting my friends, something else happened that day that changed everything.

“Alright, freshmen, it’s time for our last activity. We have a tradition here where a senior will be assigned to help you adjust for the rest of the school year. With the ribbon you’re wearing, you’ll find a number. A senior will have the same number as you have, so without further ado, go find your partners!” The host revealed, almost making me sigh in frustration because these kinds of activities were something I enjoyed the least.

Of course, I didn’t want to be considered a killjoy on my first day, so I removed my ribbon to check. Truth be told, there really was a number: number 22 .

Like the other freshmen, I looked around the auditorium to look for my senior partner. People were shouting their number, but since I was what I was, I couldn’t even call out mine.

“Twenty-two! Who has number twenty-two!” I overheard someone shout.

I turned my head and saw a familiar senior standing in the middle, his hand in the air as he waved the ribbon, almost like he was waving a white flag. I practically cursed because I wasn’t expecting to get the same number as him, but like the world was testing me, the senior spotted me staring at him, so he smiled and ran toward me.

“You got number twenty-two, didn’t you?” He excitedly asked, and all I could do was nod my head to answer.

“This is fate!” He added before showing me his hand, “The name’s Blaine de la Cruz. I’m a fourth-year English major.”

An English major? No wonder he’s so outspoken.

“I’m Aries Buan, Science,” I answered, grabbing his hand to shake it.

“Well then, Aries, I’ll be the senior assigned to you whether you like it or not. If you need any help with anything, just let me know, and I’ll try my best to help you,” he said with the same smile he gave me when I saw him at the entrance.

Blaine was a student-achiever and a role model to everyone. He was the president of his organization, as well as the student council president in our college program. He was always surrounded by people who simply wanted to have a chat with him. He was friendly, kind, and I dare say, good-looking. He was the complete opposite of me, yet he didn’t treat me as an outcast.

Whenever I needed to boost my grade, he’d be there to help. If I wanted to get on a professor’s good side, he’d introduce me to them. I was lucky to have gotten the same number as him during our orientation. My freshmen year would have been very different if I didn’t.

I learned a lot from him. Being with Blaine opened numerous opportunities for me. Since I was friends with him, I got used to meeting and talking to different people. Blaine had the code to unlock my introverted self out of its comfort zone. I was slowly starting to enjoy my college life.

I thought the momentum wouldn’t change since things were going smoothly, but one thing ruined everything in a blink of an eye.

“Aries!” Blaine called out as soon as I got out of the classroom.

“That was Professor Gomez’s class, right? So, how was it? Isn’t the midterm exam next week?” Blaine asked, running towards me and draping his arm around my shoulder.

“Yeah, he already gave us the notes for it,” I answered, casually pushing Blaine’s arm away from me.

“Well then, let’s grab lunch. My treat,” he then said, but I immediately shook my head and told him, “Sorry, Blaine, but I can’t. Jesse and I are going to finish our project at the library. Maybe next time.”

Of course, that was a lie. Jesse had a different class to attend, and I only decided to go to the library to hide there. If Blaine ended up seeing me, I’d just pretend that Jesse had to do something urgently.

“Is that so?” Blaine asked with a sad expression, but before he could even start saying things that would change my mind, I started walking away, waving goodbye so Blaine wouldn’t follow me. As soon as I turned to the next corner, I sighed and grabbed hold of my aching chest. This was the thing that ruined everything. I don’t know when it started, but I noticed that every time Blaine was there, my heart would start beating fast. I always wanted to be with him, my eyes unconsciously followed him around, and I got jealous whenever girls approached him.

I liked him, and I realized then and there that liking him was going to be the end of everything.

He always smiled so warmly at me, and he’d make sure I was never left out. Sometimes he’d even choose me over his other friends, which made me feel like maybe I had a chance since he treated me differently from the rest.

Of course, that thought only got to me for a short while because I knew that there was never going to be a chance that a straight man like Blaine would ever like me back.

I’m gay, and I’ve known that since I was fourteen when I got attracted to the male lead instead of the female one after watching a movie with my cousins. No one knows about my true identity, especially my family, so I have been hiding it for as long as I can.

Coming out is difficult and scary, especially when my mother would sometimes tell us to look for a good wife so she could have cute grandkids. I don’t know what she’d feel, and maybe she’d be cool about it too, but I know that deep inside her, she’d be disappointed, and I don’t want to witness that.

And then there’s my catholic devotee dad, who probably still lives in the 18th century. I can’t just go up to him and tell him I like men and then expect him to say, “ Good job for trampling over my beliefs, son! “ That’s just ridiculous.

When I found out about these feelings, I tried my best to keep a distance. This was never Blaine’s fault, but I didn’t want to trouble him. I didn’t want him to be burdened by the fact that a man liked him.

“Mr. Buan,” the professor called out while I was putting my things inside my backpack.

“Sir?” I asked, and our professor approached me and gave me a test paper. I thought it was mine, but then I saw the name. It was Blaine’s.

“You’re friends with Blaine, right? He wasn’t able to attend our class yesterday, so I wasn’t able to give this to him. If you have the time, can you hand it over to him?”

The world just really likes to test me.

“No problem, sir.”

“Thanks.”

And so, because of this single test paper, I went to the student council office to look for the very man I’d tried my best to avoid. 

When I got there, I saw Blaine sitting alone with his head down. I entered the office and quietly approached him. He was probably fast asleep, so I just placed the paper on the desk without waking him up. I stared at him for a few seconds, but then my hands unconsciously got closer to his head. I was about to touch him, but when my fingers were only a couple of inches away from his hair, I immediately pulled away.

“ What the hell am I thinking? “ I asked myself as I quickly turned around so I could take my leave. But as I was about to turn the doorknob, a low voice suddenly called out for me. “Aries…” he said, and I didn’t dare turn around because I didn’t want Blaine to see how flustered I looked.

The room was quiet for a while, but before I could open the door, he continued, “Stop ignoring me, okay?”

My heart sank that day. My feelings ruined our genuine friendship. Blaine didn’t have any fault in all this, but I made him feel like he had done something wrong. I avoided him without even explaining anything. If I were him, I’d feel bad too.

After that incident, I went back to becoming the kind of freshman that he met during orientation. He’d help me with my projects, we’d eat out, and we’d even play games together in his house. I learned just to enjoy the moments I had with him while hiding what I really felt.

Months passed, and Blaine finally graduated with the highest honor. As always, I was there to support him from afar as he took pictures with his friends and family. But like the Blaine that he was, he grabbed my hand and forced me to take a picture with him.

“To my number 22, good luck,” he told me before giving me a tight embrace.

Another year passed, and I was still friends with Blaine. We’d sometimes meet up with each other and have lunch together, and I’d still ask for his help whenever I had an academic crisis. He was always there for me when I needed him, so I was always there for him too. I was there when he got a job, I was there when he got promoted, and I was there…

Even at his wedding.

“You may now kiss the bride,” the priest said as I watched Blaine kiss his girlfriend-turned-wife.

It was my second year in college when Blaine introduced me to her. She was someone that he met at work, and seeing them made me realize that I was never the one for Blaine. She was the perfect woman for him, and she made him very happy.

This was enough. I told myself that I should finally get over it and move on, but as I watched Blaine at the altar with the woman of his dreams, I couldn’t help but let a tear fall.

I’ve been in love with this man for three years, but at the same time, I watched him grow and fall in love with someone else. I’ve always watched him from afar but seeing him like this was painful. I was sad, but at the same time, I was jealous. I wanted to fall in love normally like everyone else. I wanted to confess without any worry of judgment. For a man like me, a wedding like this could only be a fantasy.

Why does falling in love hurt so much?

If I was able to catch the bus on time, or if I wasn’t late for the freshmen orientation, or maybe if I didn’t get the same ribbon as you, would I still have met you?

Would I not have been this heartbroken if I didn’t?

“Hey! You!” A familiar voice called out as soon as I exited the chapel.

I quickly wiped my tears away and took a deep breath before turning back to face him. And like the first time I saw him at the freshmen orientation, Blaine approached me with a wide and excited smile.

“Where are you going? Let’s head to the reception together,” he told me.

I stopped and stared at Blaine for one last time because I knew that after this, I wouldn’t have the courage to face him with a genuine smile anymore. He looked so good in his suit. He always was the perfect groom. I never really had a chance with him, even if I tried.

“No, it’s fine. I still have somewhere to go,” I lied. “But congratulations Blaine. I really am happy for you,” I then said, and Blaine smiled and approached me.

When he stopped in front of me, Blaine reached out for his pocket. He took my hand and placed something in my palm. The moment I saw what it was, I started crying in front of him in an instant.

It was the blue ribbon he wore when I first met him.

Tears streamed down my eyes as I stared at the ribbon that was in my hand. I didn’t even care if he’d make fun of me. The fact that he gave me this ribbon back felt like this was our official goodbye.

“Thank you, Aries, for everything. I hope I was able to become a great friend to you. I really hope I did,” he said, reaching out to wipe the tears on my cheek with his handkerchief.

“You were more than that, Blaine. You were definitely more than that,” I revealed before finally pushing him away from me. “Now go. You shouldn’t have left your wife alone like that.”

Blaine nodded his head and patted my shoulder for one last time, but before he could finally take his leave, he looked back at me and said, “I’m sorry…if I couldn’t be more.”

My eyes widened, my heart hardening even more as the two of us stared at each other in silence. All this time he knew, yet he treated me the same. He didn’t try to hurt me, he didn’t push me away, and he didn’t put me on the spot and force me to come out to him either, but instead, he tried his best to still stay by me as much as he could.

So this is what a one-sided love felt like.

I couldn’t even get mad at him. I honestly didn’t deserve him. How was I going to move on now?

“Thank you, Blaine, for everything,” I said as I finally walked away, saying my last goodbye to my unrequited love.

Ever since then, I have followed in Blaine’s footsteps. I studied hard, joined an organization, became a person who others could rely on, and got out of my comfort zone. I ran for president, won, and became a role model, just like my number 22.

I wanted Blaine to see me and realize how I was able to be the better person that he believed I could be. I wanted to look back at him with a smile and say, “ I did great, even without you .“ If he couldn’t love me back, I wanted him to at least be proud of me.

A lot of things changed after that, but what really changed was my ability to fully open up to people. I had to be tough. I had to prioritize my heart before anything else. I was scared to fall in love because I didn’t want to be hurt like before.

I had to lock myself in, and I had to make sure that no one would ever be able to get the code of unlocking me again.

end.

THE CODE OF ARIES

…

As I take on a new challenge, I present to you The Code of Aries!  If you are an avid reader of my works, you’d know that I don’t usually write these types of books. Whenever I write something, it’s either mature, action, psychological, or thriller, but this is a bit different.

Don’t get me wrong, I have written this type of book before titled A Gay Boy’s Secret Playlist, but that was only a special short story I made for Pride Month.

If you want to check it out, feel free to find it in my profile. Beware, it’s going to be your cliché romance book.

Anyway, Code of Aries was a challenge for me. I always wanted to write this kind of genre, so I thought that this was the perfect time for me to give it a try. You sometimes get tired of writing hard-core stories once in a while, you know? But DISCLAIMER, this is still a [mature] book, so there will be steamy scenes. If that’s not you’re cup of tea, then this book isn’t for you.

I’m a bit new to romance-focused stories, but I hope you guys can enjoy it as much as my other works. Thank you, everyone, and happy reading!

AUTHOR N 🌙

…

If you want to know more about me and my work, follow me on Twitter & Instagram at

wickedauthor_n

ALSO…This book

has an official

Spotify Playlist.

If you want to check it out, feel free to do so. These were the songs that got me inspired to write this book. You can listen to it so you can get the feel of what this is all about.

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(1) Freshmen Orientation

MY ALARM STARTS RINGING, almost making me fall off the bed because I was desperately trying to reach my phone on my desk instead of just standing up to grab it. As soon as I got a hold of it, I turned the alarm off and went back to bed, hoping that I’d wake up after a couple of minutes and not be late on my first day in college.

“Domingo! You better not be in bed again!” I could hear my mother shout, and her loud voice was honestly a better alarm than any of the alarms I’d set because I instantly got up from the bed without any hesitation.

Today was my first day in college. After barely graduating in senior high school, I was able to get into a good university as a BS Secondary Education English Major.

I was a troublesome student, and I wasn’t the best kid either, so my friends laughed at me when I told them I wanted to become a teacher. There’s actually a valid reason for that because my mother, who singlehandedly raised me on her own, is a teacher herself. I see what she does, and so I thought I’d have a knockout of it too.

Another thing is, we’re what others like to refer to it as people in the lower class of society, or in my straightforward term, dead-ass poor. That’s why I’m trying to be a good student, just so I wouldn’t fail her, especially when college tuition is hella expensive. I want to do well so she wouldn’t have to work so much for us.

“I’m heading out, mama!” I shouted as I was wearing my shoes outside our house.

My mom rushes to my side and looks at me with a smile. “Look at my handsome college student. It feels like yesterday when I was still carrying you in my arms, and now you’re so big,” she said while messing with my hair.

“Ma, I just put gel on that,” I complained, looking at my reflection in the window to fix it again. “And besides, I’m already nineteen, not a baby,” I reminded her, making her laugh.

“Here,” Mom said before handing me my daily allowance. I looked at the amount and looked at her with worry. “Ma, this amount is bigger than last year. I got by with just 300 per week. Here, you can have the rest and—”

I was about to hand some of the money back, but Mama pushed my hand away and gave me a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. Adding a little more won’t hurt. Besides, college requires a lot more work. I want you to be able to eat properly, okay?”

“But ma…”

“No more buts. Now go, or you’ll be late,” she insisted, so I just took the money and hid it in my wallet before giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m heading out!” I announced before taking my leave.

Commuting from my house to my university takes at least an hour and a half. If it’s rush hour, it will take at least two to three hours, and that depends on the weather too. I’d personally want to just stay at the dorms if I could, but that would be expensive, and I don’t really have the luxury for that.

I’m not expecting much on my first day of school, but I’m excited about it regardless. I wasn’t exactly an introvert, but I wasn’t an extrovert either. Making friends wasn’t always a challenge for me, and I know how to handle people because I’ve worked part-time during the summer. I honestly want to continue working so I can help out with the finances at home, but my mother forbids me to work while I study. Maybe it’s just the teacher in her that’s stopping me; who knows?

“Your I.D?” The security guard asked when I finally got to my university after being on the bus for hours.

“I have it here,” I answered, pulling my identification card from my bag and showing it to him. The guard checks it before checking my bag too. After that, he finally let me in.

The campus was as big as I expected it to be. I already visited when I took the entrance exam, but it’s still very overwhelming.

“What were we supposed to do today again?” I asked as I pulled my phone out of my pocket so I could check the announcement made on the school’s website. Apparently, we have a freshman orientation at nine, so I looked at my watch to check and…

“Fuck! It’s already 9:30!” I shouted, running to the auditorium after asking total strangers for directions.

I arrived at the location a couple of minutes after, panting heavily as sweat streamed down my forehead. The program had already started, and the auditorium was already packed with students. I guess I could just sit at the back so no one would notice me.

“Hey! Freshie!” Someone suddenly called out.

Wait, was I going to get scolded? Was I not allowed to enter anymore since I was late?

“You’re a little too late, don’t you think?” someone asked, and I turned around and saw this cute girl who was as tall as my thirteen-year-old cousin, wearing a blue ribbon on her head. She looked at me from head to toe with furrowed brows, but then she started laughing, hitting my shoulder like we were already best friends.

“Gosh, why do you look so uptight? I wasn’t going to scold you. What do I look like, a professor?” She jokingly said as she continued laughing, making me look around the area, hoping someone would help me out of this awkward situation.

“Jesse, what’s going on here?” Another voice called out, and lo and behold, two men came to my rescue.

The girl, who’s apparently named Jesse, stopped laughing and turned around to welcome the two boys who just arrived. The other guy was just a couple of inches taller than me, but he was definitely bigger in size, while the other one was a bit smaller than I was, and paler too since I was pretty tan, especially since I worked as a delivery man a couple of weeks ago.

“I’m sorry. Is she making you feel uncomfortable?” The smaller guy asked as he approached me while the other guy started dragging the girl away.

“That was Jesse. She’s our student council secretary and an English major, which is why she could be a little too overwhelming at times. While the other guy is named Mark, he’s the vice and a math major. We’re members of the council,” he explained with a smile, making me furrow my brows in confusion because he introduced the other two but didn’t introduce himself.

“Is that so? Well, I’m Domingo M. Adlawan. I’m an English major,” I explained, making the guy chuckle.

“You didn’t have to tell me your full name,” he said. “I’m Aries, a Science major. It’s nice to meet you, Domingo.”

“Dom would be fine.”

“Alright then, Dom,” he said with a bright smile, showing his hand so I could shake it. I was about to grab it, but then another student arrived and said, “Hey, pres! Professor Gomez is looking for you.”

Wait, pres? Did she just say pres, as in president? Well, he did mention that he’s part of the council too, but I wasn’t expecting that he’d be the actual president.

“Well, looks like I have to go, but before that…” Aries took the bag that I just realized he had been holding since earlier. He pulled a single red ribbon at random out of all the ribbons that were inside the bag, and then he leaned close to me and suddenly tied the ribbon to my head. He was shorter, so I had to lower my head a little. When the ribbon is now wrapped around my forehead, Aries smiles and pats my back before finally running inside.

I touched the ribbon as I watched Aries leave. I didn’t know a lot about him, but he looked like a responsible senior, considering the fact that he was the student council’s president.

“Alright, I better head inside,” I said as I finally joined the other freshmen students who were already having a good time. Like my initial plan, I went directly to the very back and quietly made my way to an empty seat. The speaker on stage was talking about places where we could hang out on campus, which would have been helpful for me if only I had arrived thirty minutes earlier.

“You’re late too?” the female student sitting beside me suddenly asked.

“Oh, yeah. You?”

“I was. I arrived just a couple of minutes before you. But the senior students outside were pretty nice, especially the guy named Aries. Heard he’s famous here,” the girl said before showing me her hand. “I’m Victoria, by the way, but my friends call me Vicki. And you are?”

“Domingo, but you can call me Dom,” I answered, grabbing her hand and shaking it.

“Nice to meet you, Dom.”

“You say your name is Domingo?” Another guy sitting beside Vicki asked. I was about to nod my head in answer, but then Victoria pointed at him and said, “This is Justin. He was late like us. I met him when I arrived here too.”

“I’m Justin, a PE Major,” Justin still introduced himself even though Vicki had already introduced him just a couple of seconds ago.

“You’re a PE major? Well, I’m an Engish major.”

“You’re an English major too? That’s great!” Vicki excitedly said, making the other students turn around to look back at us. Vicki quickly shut her mouth, and after a while, the three of us quietly laughed.

I wasn’t expecting to meet new friends on my first day, but Vicki and Justin were pretty chill, so I enjoyed their company and totally didn’t listen to the program anymore. Vicki was the clumsy one, while Justin was more of the tough one, which probably makes sense since he’s a PE major. The three of us hit it off well, and we even planned to eat lunch together. 

Looks like my college year is going to be fine with these two.

“Alright, freshmen students, we’re already close to the end of the program,” the host told everyone, finally making the three of us stop talking so we could at least properly watch the end of the orientation.

“But before we leave, there’s something you guys have to do first. This is actually a yearly tradition, so others might have already talked about it,” the host said, and in an instant, Vicki started to look excited.

“The ribbons you’re wearing actually have a number written behind them. A senior will have a similar number. And don’t worry because some seniors will be partnered with multiple students so that everyone will have a partner. The senior who has the same number as you will help make your first year in college easier, so go and find your designated partner!” The host revealed, and the students excitedly stood from their seats to find their designated partners.

I removed my hairband to see the number and saw that it was actually number twenty-two.

Vicki and Justin were already looking for theirs, so I had no choice but to look for mine. A part of me wanted to act like this was such a childish thing to look forward to, but another part of me was kinda excited about it as well. Having a senior to look after you is pretty good. I’d need all the help I can get, especially when I’m trying to get an academic scholarship so my mom doesn’t have to pay in full anymore.

I’m just hoping it’s someone cute and gentle so I won’t be too intimidated to ask. I don’t want to be stereotypical, but if it’s a big scary-looking senior, I might just back out from it and try my luck on someone else.

“Twenty-two!” I shouted, looking for a senior who had the same number. I looked around the auditorium, shouting the number like I was selling meat in a wet market. When I got to the middle aisle, I was about to shout the number again when a hand suddenly grabbed my shoulder, forcing me to turn around.

“You’re number 22?” A voice asked back.

When I saw who it was, I was surprised to see that it was actually the senior I had met outside the auditorium. It was the council president, Aries.

“You!” The two of us shouted in unison.

For some reason, I suddenly felt shy after finding out he was my partner, so I cleared my throat and tried to act aloof so he wouldn’t think I was an awkward 1st-year student who sits quietly at the back with a hoody on. But I guess it’s too late for that now since we’ve already met earlier.

“Can’t believe it’s you. You’re Domingo M. Adlawan, right?” He asked, and I dropped the cool guy act and awkwardly scratched the back of my head.

“Yeah, looks like it. I guess it’s fate,” I said without thinking about it, but for some reason, my last statement surprised him. He had that look on his face like he remembered something unpleasant, so I quickly laughed it off, afraid he’d think I was some kind of creep.

“A-Anyway, am I your only partner?” I asked him, and Aries snapped out of it and nodded his head to confirm it.

“Well, the council members are asked only to handle one freshman, so yes, I’m all you’ve got,” he said before showing me his hand again. “For the second time, I’m Aries Buan. It’s nice to meet you, Domingo. I hope we get to enjoy the rest of the school year together.”

Aries was smiling at me, but for some reason, there was sadness hidden in his eyes. I don’t know what this man was thinking, and I don’t know what he went through, but I knew that I wanted to know more about him.

I wanted to know what made him look like he was seconds away from crying.

“It’s nice to meet you too…Aries,” I replied, grabbing his hand and shaking it.

Aries doesn’t say anything as the two of us stare at each other like we’re the only people in the auditorium. But as I stared into his lonely black eyes, I almost saw the universe in him. And it was that unfamiliarity and uncertainty that drove me to want to explore it further.

end.

(2) ‘A’ as in Apple

THE CAFETERIA WAS A literal jungle. Students from all majors gathered in one area, greeting new and old friends after that long and hot summer break. Vicki, Justin, and I went here right after the freshman orientation, but we weren’t expecting the overwhelming crowd.

“I didn’t expect that the Education Program would have so many students,” Justin says as we went in line to grab our lunch, holding onto trays that looked as old as the school.

“Well, this is the school that specializes in teaching after all,” Vicki then says, which was true. Librada University, or what the students call LU, is a 70-year-old university that trains the best teachers in the country. This is where my mom graduated too, which is why I chose to study here.

“Anyway, I’m so jealous of you, Dom. I can’t believe you got President Aries to be your senior partner. That’s like the grand prize,” Vicki says, making Justin chuckle.

“Please don’t refer to him like he’s an object.”

“That’s such an English major thing to say,” Justin fires back at me, making Vicki laugh since she was an English major herself.

“But I am glad that I got to have a senior who’s in the same major as I am. She’s handling two other freshmen, but that’s fine too,” Vicki then says.

“I got a math major, but I guess that’s okay. In our first semester, most of our classes are all minor subjects anyway. Having the seniors can help us a lot regardless of their major since they’re already familiar with the professors,” Justin shares right after, and Vicki and I nod our heads in agreement.

The three of us finally arrived in front of the stall. After picking the food we liked and then paying for it, we looked around the cafeteria to find a seat. It’s funny because the setting was similar to when I was still in senior high. The students had assigned tables, so the new kids had to fumble about.

While we were still looking around, we suddenly spotted this other guy who was eating alone at an empty table. The three of us looked at each other, and then we nodded our heads and approached him like we were on a mission. When we got there, Justin pushed Vicki and encouraged her to speak to him, but Vicki was acting like a virgin, so I had to walk up to him instead.

“Hi, you’re a freshman too, right? Can we sit with you?” I ask with a smile, and the man looks at us before nodding his head.

The three of us immediately placed our trays on the table and took a seat. Vicki and Justin had to fight for the seat beside me, and it looked like Justin won, so Vicki had to sit beside the new guy.

“My name’s Dom,” I say first before gesturing at the two who were glaring at each other. “The girl beside you is Vicki, and this guy over here is Justin.”

“Nice to meet you,” Vicki says, finally having the courage to speak to him, while Justin just nods his head.

“I’m Arthur. It’s nice to meet you too,” he says back, and the three of us smile, glad he was willing to talk to us.

Arthur was really tall, and he was skinny too. It would be an understatement to call him good-looking because this guy literally looks like a model; I wouldn’t blame Vicki for feeling shy.

“By the way, what major are you in?” Justin asks as we start eating.

“Special Ed,” he explains, surprising the three of us. Special Ed is such a hard major, so salute to him for taking that on. “My younger brother has ASD ( Autism spectrum disorder ), so I want to learn more so I could help him,” he then explains to us even though he didn’t have to. But nonetheless, his reason was heart-warming. I’m an only son, so having a brother like that must be such a blessing. His parents are probably proud of him.

“Your brother is lucky,” Vicki tells him, and the serious expression on Arthur’s face changes into a smile.

“His name is Albert, but we call him Albie. He’s only eight, but he really likes to draw,” Arthur explains further, unconsciously making me smile because of how enthusiastic he looks while talking about his brother. Looks like he’s going to be an amazing special ed teacher.

“Wow, a family of A’s,” Justin then says, making me notice it too.

“Oh, you’re right. Are all the names of your siblings start with the letter A too?” Vicki then asks, and Arthur surprisingly nods his head.

“There’s four of us, all boys. Apart from Albie and me, I have two older brothers. Our eldest is named Apollo or Apo, and then the second son is—”

“Arthur?” Someone suddenly calls out, making Arthur stop talking while the rest of us turn our heads to see who it is. I wasn’t expecting anyone, but when I saw him, my mouth instantly dropped. Vicki even had to kick my leg under the table in shock.

“Oh, Aries,” Arthur casually says as Aries and his friends approach our table.

“W-Wait, Arthur, your surname is Buan?” I ask without removing my eyes from the seniors, who the other students were also staring at.

“I didn’t tell you?” Arthur asks back, and Vicki, Justin, and I just glance at each other before looking back at Aries. Aries stops in front of our table with the other council members, Jesse and Mark. There were two others, but I wasn’t introduced to them, so I didn’t know their names.

“I didn’t see you at the auditorium. Did you get a senior partner?” Aries asks as he looks at Arthur.

Arthur answered his brother’s question while I was left staring at the president. I didn’t know they were brothers. Well, looking at the two of them now, I could see the similarities, but the height tipped me off—not trying to be rude to Aries, of course, but you get what I mean.

Aries looked like an open book, but at the same time, the book was completely empty. When the two of us talked at the auditorium after finding out that we had the same number, Aries immediately excused himself before I could even ask him anything, so I was left standing in the middle of the auditorium by myself. He had this smile that was reserved, and the way he just stared back at me earlier felt like he was observing me, almost as if I was one of his science experiments.

“Wait, aren’t you Aries’s partner?” Someone suddenly says out loud, snapping me back to my senses.

Aries stops talking to his brother and looks in my direction. He was obviously surprised to see me with his brother, but he immediately smiledand said, “Yeah, that’s him. Dom, right?”

I nod my head in answer, and Aries continues to smile.

“You got the same number as Dom?” Arthur asks.

“I did. I’m surprised you two met,” Aries then says.

“Hey, you should tour him around campus before the next program starts,” Jesse then suggests. Aries is about to say something about it, but then Justin cuts him off and asks, “Other program?”

“That’s right. At 2:00 PM, all the freshmen students will be heading to the pavilion with the seniors. You’re then going to introduce yourself to everyone. It’s gonna be fun,” Jesse explains further.

Vicki looked excited, while Justin didn’t really care. I then looked back at Aries, who was staring at his watch like he was checking something. After a couple of seconds, he turns back at me and says, “Looks like there’s still time. When you’re done eating, let’s meet up at 1. I’ll wait for you outside the auditorium.”

“That’s not really neces—”

“Then that’s settled!” Jesse says with a bright smile. “Now, let’s eat. I’m fuckin starving.”

I was about to say something, but the seniors had already walked off. As soon as they were gone, Vicki tried to kick my legs under the table again, but she accidentally kicked Justin instead, making the two of them start arguing for the hundredth time.

“I’m surprised you got my brother as your partner,” Arthur then says as the four of us go back to eating our lunch. “I’d say you’re lucky since he’s pretty reliable.”

“Is that so?” I say before taking a bite of my food.

Vicki, Justin, and Arthur eventually got comfortable with each other and started sharing their life stories. Vicki’s the oldest daughter among three siblings, while Justin only has one who’s a seaman. Everyone was just happy to know more about each other, while I was stuck glancing at my watch, painfully waiting for the clock to strike 1.

…

“Aries!” I call out, running towards Aries, who’s standing near the auditorium while checking his phone. There were still ten minutes before 1:00 PM. I decided to arrive early because it felt rude if I made Aries wait, but it looked like he came before me, so that didn’t make any difference.

“Did you wait long?” I ask as I try to catch my breath.

Aries looks at me and chuckles. “You didn’t have to run. It’s not like you’re late.”

“But you’re already here. I didn’t want you to wait any longer,” I tell him, and there he is again, staring at me like he’s analyzing every word I’m trying to say. Why does he act so cautious? Why does he act like I’m going to hurt him?

“Well then, since you’re already here, let’s begin the tour,” he then says with a smile, and I take a deep breath and nod my head.

Aries walked me around the campus as promised. LU offers different programs, so there are six different buildings that consist of the six major institutes: Institute of Arts & Science, Institute of Business Administration, Institute of Technology, Institute of Architecture & Fine Arts, Institute of Hospitality Management, and Institute of Education. Since it would take all day for us to visit all of it, Aries just walked me around the Education building.

“We have a small library in our building, but if you want more source materials, you can head to the Institute of Arts and Science’s building. The main library can be found there,” Aries explains, and I nod my head in understanding.

While the two of us continued walking, I couldn’t help but glance back at Aries. Aries seems like a friendly guy, considering how a dozen of students and even three professors had already greeted him when we walked past them.

“So you’re Arthur’s brother, huh? What a coincidence,” I say, trying to start a conversation with him because I don’t know when I’ll be alone with him like this again.

“Yeah, it’s crazy. Arthur’s a quiet kid, but I’m glad you met up with him,” Aries says.

“I’m sorry if you had to tour me like this. I bet you’re tired after the freshman orientation,” I then open up, and Aries looks at me and chuckles again. It seems like this guy’s easy to please. He keeps laughing at me even though I haven’t said anything funny yet.

“Why are you apologizing? For starters, this was Jesse’s idea. And besides, I don’t really mind. You’re my freshman partner, after all. Starting today, I have the obligation to help and guide you. You might think it’s too much, but when you become a senior, you’ll know what I mean,” he says, and I could tell that he was genuine about it.

I guess he’s right, but saying it’s his obligation still feels a bit iffy. But I shouldn’t desire more. I’m still getting to know him, after all. Maybe after a few weeks, I can start calling him a friend and not just a senior partner I got since we share the same ribbon number.

“You must have gotten a good senior partner when you were a freshman then,” I then say. I didn’t mean anything about it, but the smile on Aries’s face suddenly disappeared, almost like he remembered something unpleasant.

“He was the best, actually,” he says, making me stare at him.

The two of us become quiet, but then Aries clears his throat and stops walking. “You must be tired after walking around that much. Let me buy you some water,” he then says, and before I can even stop him, he runs his way to a vending machine.

“ What was that about? “ I whispered before taking a seat on a bench. While waiting, I pulled something out of my pocket. It’s the red ribbon I got from the freshman orientation. I stared at the ribbon and wondered about Aries’s reaction earlier. Did something happen to him and his old senior partner? Did they get along? Did they hurt him?

Why am I so curious? Why is this man forcing me to ask these questions when I shouldn’t be caring about those things in the first place? Maybe it’s just the English major student in me. Maybe I have this obsession with analyzing things like they’re literary pieces.

“ Number 22, “ I mumble to myself before clenching the ribbon. As I place the ribbon back inside my pocket, a bottle of water appears in front of me. I looked up and then saw Aries looking down at me with a smile.

“Here,” he says.

“Thank you,” I answer, grabbing the bottle as Aries sits beside me on the bench.

The two of us became quiet as we stared at the students who were playing basketball on the open court. The sun was just right, and the wind kept us cool. It was a relaxing atmosphere, but for whatever reason, I couldn’t help but feel uneasy. Maybe it was because we had to walk around and I got tired, or maybe because I could smell Aries’s sweet scent despite the distance between us.

Damn, I feel like a literal creep.

“Arthur told us that all your names start with the letter ‘A’. That’s really interesting,” I opened up so I could get my mind out of the gutter.

“Yup, ‘A’ as in apple. The reason for that is because of my parents. My dad’s name is Anthony, while my mom just so happened to be named Anastasia, so they made a tradition to give us names with an A,” Aries explains to me before taking a sip of his water.

“Anthony, Anastasia, Apollo, Arthur, Albie, and then…Aries. Sooner or later, you’re going to take all the ‘A’ names and leave us, common-named folks, with nothing,” I joked, and thankfully Aries laughed at it. “But Aries is a really unique name. It’s bold and straightforward, just like the zodiac sign,” I say as I look directly into Aries’s eyes. Aries looks back at me for a while, but he quickly turns his head and takes another sip of his water.

“That’s what they say, but I’m not really like that,” he tells me without giving any further details.

“Is it because you’re really vulnerable under that hard shell you’ve created for yourself?” I asked out of impulse, and my question ended up surprising him because Aries looked back at me with his eyes wide, almost as if I had revealed the universe’s most kept secret.

When I felt how my question affected him, I immediately waved my hand and told him, “Sorry, that wasn’t…I didn’t mean to say that. I just have this weird obsession with overanalyzing things. I wasn’t trying to be rude.”

Aries looks at me again, his eyes wondering. But after a while, he takes a deep breath and stands from his seat. “We should head to the pavilion. The program’s about to start, and your friends are probably waiting for you.”

I nod my head and get off my seat. Aries started walking first, so I quickly caught up to him so I could walk by his side. While the two of us were walking back, I was trying to think of the perfect time to apologize, but when I glanced at Aries, I saw him looking down at the floor, trying to hide a grin on his face that made my heart skip a beat.

“Has my scent been bothering you, Mr. Adlawan?” He suddenly asks before looking back at me. His question left me dumbfounded, but before I could even say anything, he told me, “You have an obsession with overanalyzing things. I guess we’re similar because I also have an obsession with observing things I find particularly…” Aries pauses and looks straight into my eyes, making me gulp.

“Annoying,” he says right after, the usual smile on his face changing into this menacing look that made every fiber in my body tremble.

Maybe I was wrong after all.

Maybe he really is as bold as his zodiac says.

“Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that quick tour…Dom.”

end.

(3) Something Interesting

THERE WERE DOZENS OF seniors and freshmen students waiting around when we arrived at the pavilion. When the seniors saw Aries walking in front of me, they immediately ran toward him and started crowding around him like he was some kind of celebrity. I was instantly left out, so I just awkwardly stood there with my hands inside my pockets like a lost kid.

“Dom!” Someone called out to the rescue.

I turned around and saw Vicki walking towards me, Justin and Arthur following right behind her.

“You look exhausted. How was the tour with President Aries?” Vicki then asked, stopping right in front of me with curious eyes. I could tell she wanted all the details because she wouldn’t stop nudging my side so I could spill everything.

“ Please, don’t even ask me about it. I don’t think I’m going to get along with that president at all, “ I whispered to her, making sure Aries’s brother—the ever-so-handsome Arthur—didn’t hear it because I didn’t want to be rude.

Vicki was itching to know more, but Justin and Arthur eventually joined her, so the two of us pretended as if nothing had happened. We’ll probably just talk about it some other time.

“There are more freshmen students here than seniors,” Arthur told us while staring at the students scattered around the pavilion.

“Half of us probably wouldn’t survive the second year, so I’m not surprised the number of students decreased in the last year,” Justin suddenly added, making Vicki hug herself.

“Dude, don’t jinx it! I literally got goosebumps just imagining it,” Vicki said, and Justin could only laugh.

While Justin and Vicki argued and Arthur quietly enjoyed the two’s sibling banter, my eyes couldn’t help but search for this particular senior who held the number 22 ribbon. He was standing around other students, smiling and nodding his head like he was enjoying his conversation with them, unlike the time the two of us were together.

“Y ou have an obsession with analyzing things. I guess we’re similar because I have an obsession with observing things I find particularly…annoying ,” I remembered him saying to me earlier. He was a completely different person at that time, so I was left speechless. I couldn’t say anything to him anymore, so the two of us didn’t even look at each other after that.

For a while, I was curious about him, but now…

“ What a pain. I was trying to be nice too, “ I mumbled to myself, making Vicki, Justin, and Arthur look back at me.

“What did you say?” Vicki asked, making me shake my head.

“Nothing. We should join the others before the program starts.”

“Good idea,” Vicki answered, and the four of us joined the rest of the freshmen students from other majors. We mingled with them for a while until the seniors finally went in front of us to start this supposed meet and greet.

“Hey, freshies! It’s so amazing to finally meet you like this,” a female student said while holding a Bluetooth microphone. “We’re glad that out of all the universities, you chose to study here in LU, so let’s give each around a round of applause.”

The 1st years sat on the monoblock chairs while the 4th year students stood around us. It looked weird since it felt like a frat initiation, but at the same time, it was pretty exciting.

My friends and I sat at the very back, where the cool kids were supposed to be. Of course, that was just my way of describing it because we’re no longer in high school, and I still can’t seem to let go of my past reputation. After all, I was pretty popular back in senior high. I wasn’t the smartest, but I was confident, and my confidence gave me a lot of opportunities.

“Alright, to begin this little event, let me welcome our institute’s student council president, Mr. Buan,” the female student introduces, making everyone start cheering.

Aries gives out a shy smile as he walks in front before taking the microphone. He clears his throat first and adjusts his necktie like he’s getting ready to intimidate everyone. He hadn’t even said anything, but the students in front of me were already swooning over him. I was with him all afternoon, but I didn’t even notice how attractive he actually looked in the school uniform.

Librada University has a uniform like most universities in the country. It’s a plain white polo, matched with a maroon vest and a black tie, and then black slacks and shoes. Most of the freshmen students aren’t wearing the uniform yet since it’s still being tailored, but in my case, the uniform is a bit pricey, so I haven’t had the time to buy one.

“Hello, everyone. I hope you enjoyed your lunch break. This afternoon, we’re going to introduce ourselves to everyone briefly. No need to make it long. Just tell us something informative and interesting about you. After the introduction, we’ll form groups and get to know each other better,” Aries explained, and everyone nodded their heads in understanding.

“ I’ll bet you a thousand bucks I’ll be able to hook up with one of the seniors here by the end of the semester, “ Justin suddenly whispered to me while looking at the female students like he was window shopping, making me flick his forehead.

“Since I know that some of you are a bit shy, I’ll start first,” Aries then said, and I looked back at the front while Justin massaged his aching forehead.

“My name is Aries Buan ( pronounced as Boo-one ). I’m a 4th year Science major, the Institute of Education’s student council president, and a consistent Dean’s Lister. I won best research paper last semester and went to Singapore as a representative, and I’m also a member of the Student-Teachers Organization, Science Society, and Young Leaders Association. What else…I’m 23, and I’m allergic to dogs,” Aries said, and everyone was more surprised by the fact that he was allergic to dogs than all the achievements he mentioned before it.

Everyone naturally clapped their hands for the ever-so-wonderful Aries. Even I was clapping despite my bitter feelings for him because those achievements are no doubt impressive. When I was in high school, the only award I had was perfect attendance, and that was because my mom was a teacher.

“Now, who’s next?” Aries then asked, gesturing at the microphone toward the crowd.

The freshmen looked at each other, hesitating to raise their hands so they could go next. After everything that Aries said, I understand why they’d be intimidated. But I guess it’s better to be intimidated now than to be intimidated later on.

“I’ll go,” I said as I raised my hand, surprising Vicki, Justin, and Arthur.

I told you. I might not be smart, but my confidence is my strongest trait.

“I’ll go next,” I continued to say, and the seniors looked at each other and started cheering.

Aries looked at me as I stood from my seat. He was surprised to see me, but he put on this annoying smile and nodded his head to encourage me to stand in front. So I jogged my way towards him and took the microphone from his hand. He looks at me and clears his throat before heading back to where he was standing earlier.

“Yeah! That’s our friend right there!” Justin then shouted, making the crowd laugh while Vicki covered his mouth to shut him up,

“Thank you,” I said, waving at Justin and the others. “Anyway, it’s a bit embarrassing to go next after Mr. Buan’s introduction, but I’ll try to make this as interesting as I can.”

Justin whistled, and even Vicki and Arthur were clapping for me, which gave me an extra boost.

“Hi guys, I’m Domingo M. Adlawan, better known as Dom. I’m 19, a Sagittarius, and an English Major. My mom’s a teacher, which is why I’m here. I’m not very smart, but that’s fine since I’m hard working,” I start, and even though I wasn’t trying to be funny on the last part, they start laughing. Maybe admitting to being stupid was a terrible introduction.

I looked around the crowd, and they were all staring at me with curiosity and amusement. I don’t exactly know what I’m doing, but I think I’m doing good.

I then looked back at my friends, who were giving me a thumbs up. I couldn’t help but chuckle at how supportive they were. “Now for something interesting…let’s see—” I paused and looked back at the crowd, but my eyes unconsciously stopped at where Aries was standing. He was looking at me with his arms crossed, his expression cold and blank. After what happened to us earlier, I should be keeping my distance. He hates me, I have clearly established that, but now that we’ve come to this conclusion, this strong desire inside me has started to grow even more.

And that desire…

Was to fucking beat him in his own game.

You might be this smart and beloved school president, but I’ll show you. The way you looked at me at that time fired me up so much that all I could do was be pissed. You looked at me as if I was some kind of lowlife—like someone who’s under you. I’m going to beat you, Mr. Aries Buan. I’m going to decode you and show everyone what kind of person you really are.

“Dom, do you not have anything interesting about you or a fact we should know about? If there’s none, you can pass the microphone,” the female senior from earlier stated, making the others laugh.

I removed my eyes from Aries and looked back at the crowd. Without thinking about it, I blurted out, “I’m gay.”

The students in front of me were surprised, especially Vicki, Justin, and Arthur. And when I looked back at Aries, the cold expression on his face completely changed, almost like he had heard the most shocking thing in the world. For a moment, I felt like he was jealous of me, maybe because of how blunt I was or maybe because I could express myself like this.

When everyone became silent, I instantly regretted opening my mouth because I didn’t mean to make the atmosphere awkward, but after a while, the seniors and the freshmen alike started clapping their hands and smiling at me.

“You’re not alone, honey!” One of the students at the back shouted, making everyone cheer even louder.

I smiled back and nodded my head. “I guess that’s all. Thank you, everyone,” I said as I handed the microphone back to the female host before running to my seat beside Justin and Vicki.

“ Dom! That was the most awesome thing you could ever do. I literally got goosebumps,“ Vicki whispered to me as another senior introduced themselves to everyone.

Arthur nods his head to agree with what Vicki said, and even Justin—who lowkey looks like someone who’d hate gay people—smiles at me and gives me a fist bump. Looks like I really was able to gather the right friends on my first day. Call that lucky.

I looked back at the front and listened to the student talking in front, but as I was quietly listening, I couldn’t help but look back at where Aries was supposed to be standing. I thought he’d still be shocked after learning that about me, but to my surprise, Aries was now nowhere to be seen. 

“ Why did you suddenly look so sad, Aries? “ I thought to myself for a while, but I immediately brushed the thought away and decided to just enjoy the rest of my first day in college. I literally just met that man today. There’s no reason for me to start getting fired up over him even further than this…right?

…

“Domingo! Stop wasting water and head out of the bathroom already!” I could hear met mother shouting outside, making me turn the faucet off so I’d stop drowning myself with thoughts of that senior student.

Despite what happened during my tour with Aries, he would still give me a smile whenever our eyes met—even though the smile might have been fake. But after the program earlier, he wouldn’t even look at me. Was Aries homophobic all along? Was that the reason why he found me annoying? Now I’m even more conflicted than I was earlier.

Maybe I shouldn’t have told everyone I was gay. But I’ve never really hidden it from everyone. I’ve been vocal about my sexuality, and even my mom knows it. I guess my family is just too poor, and the least we should be worried about is who I’m attracted to.

I washed my face with water from the bucket for one last time before taking a towel. I then walked towards the mirror, wiping it with my towel before staring at my face. 

I don’t want to sound arrogant or anything, but I consider myself a handsome guy. When people find out about my orientation, some would be cool with it, while some would start acting differently. I’ve even encountered this woman who said it was such a waste. Like, what was a waste? Me not wanting to be with women and start a family? Is that all a straight guy could achieve? I don’t get it.

“Domingo! Dinner’s ready!”

“Okay! Just a second!”

I quickly wore my clothes and stepped out of the bathroom. Mom was transferring the dish she cooked onto a plate, so I started setting the table for us.

“So, how was school?” I asked, making my mom chuckle.

“Shouldn’t I be the one to ask you that?”

“I’ll answer if you answer me first.”

“Well, it was fine. My new students seem to be a little rowdy, but that’s the beauty of teaching in a public school.”

“At least they’re energetic.”

My mom laughed and placed the food on the table, and then the two of us went to our designated seats, which were two different types of chairs because we couldn’t afford to buy a set. Mom starts putting rice on my plate, a portion that’s twice as much as she has for herself. She always says she gets full fast, but I know that she’s just trying to be considerate.

“Now you answer the same question,” my mom insisted while I started shoving rice in my mouth because of how hungry I was.

Mom glares at me for having terrible table manners, so I immediately swallow the food inside my mouth and wipe my lips with the back of my hand. “It was great. I met new friends who are pretty cool. We didn’t really do much today, but we’ll be starting classes tomorrow, so that’s when things get crazy.”

“Really? That’s good. But other than finding friends, you should try studying harder. You really need that scholarship, Dom,” she said without even looking at me, and I just nodded my head and continued eating.

The two of us became quiet, but after a while, I looked back at her and gave out a sigh, immediately making her look back at me. Mom always knew if there was something bothering me, so when she heard me take a deep breath, she instantly looked concerned.

“What’s on your mind?” She asked.

I hesitated at first, but then I took another deep breath and finally asked her, “Ma, have you ever regretted that I’m gay?”

The table became quiet all of a sudden, and all we could hear was the noise coming from the kids who were still playing outside. My mom doesn’t say anything for a while, but then she puts her spoon down and grabs my hand across the table. “Did someone say something to you?” She then asked with a sad look on her face, immediately making me shake my head.

“N-No, I was just curious.”

My mom sighs in relief, but then she squeezes my hand even tighter. “You are my son. If I were to regret anything, that would be the fact that I’m not able to provide for you enough so you could grow into someone you can be truly proud of.”

“Ma…”

“Don’t ask me that question again, okay? You’re giving me a scare,” she then said, finally letting go of my hand.

I smiled at her and looked down at my plate to stare at the food my mother was able to prepare for us. I really shouldn’t be worrying about some boy I know nothing about. There are a lot more things I have to think about, and one of those things is being able to give my mom a better life. What was I even thinking, challenging an honor student like Aries, who looks like he has his life all set?

“I love you, mama,” I tell her, and my mom chuckles and nods her head.

“I love you too, Dom. Always know that.”

“But do you think Papa would have said the same thing…if he was still alive?” I then asked her, and the question surprised her more than the last one.

Mom was quiet after hearing what I had to say. She looks at me and then down at her plate. She takes a deep breath, but she doesn’t look back at me anymore. Her silence was loud, and it was enough to make me force a smile.

“Sorry, you didn’t have to answer that,” I  quickly said, grabbing my glass to take a sip of water. But as I held onto it, I didn’t even notice that my hands were shaking, so I accidentally lost my grip, spilling the water on the table.

Mom grabbed the glass before it rolled off, and I immediately stood from my chair to grab a clean cloth. I bite my lips down while Mom stares at me as I wipe the water off the table.

“Your father loved you,” she then tells me, making me stop.

I stare at my hand and remember the time I last saw him on the hospital bed. I let a tear fall as the memory starts to consume me, but I immediately wipe it off. Other than his death, there are other unpleasant memories I have with him that I wish I could forget. Did Aries feel the same way about that senior? 

“Dom, I’m sorry,” Mama said, and I just looked at her and forced a smile so she wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.

After cleaning the table, I went back to my seat and continued eating with my mom in silence.

I really shouldn’t be worked out over a boy I just met.

There are more things in my life that I have to worry about.

And a senior who finds me annoying should be the least of my concerns.

end.

(4) First-World Problems

“I AM ROMEL GOMEZ, your professor for this History Class. I know that this is just a minor subject, and I am very much aware that most of you won’t take this course seriously, but I do, which means I can fail those who are not willing to learn and participate,” Professor Gomez explains to the class, and I could tell that most of them were starting to feel the pressure.

“ I’m going to fail this subject so badly, “ Justin whispers while playing with his pen.

“ Why do you always have to be so negative? “ Vicki complains, and Justin sticks his tongue out to her, almost making Vicki hit him with a notebook. Thankfully Arthur is sitting between them, so he acts as a mediator.

“Alright, bring out a 1/4 index card and write your name and major. I’ll give you five minutes. Next week, I want you to prepare a 1x1 photo so you can attach it to the card,” Professor Gomez explains right after, making the entire class moan in frustration.

“No more complaining. We’ll have a recitation later so I’d know what you were able to learn in high school,” he tells us next, and the frustrated moans get louder.

“ He’s a monster. A literal monster, “ I whisper as I grab my pen from my bag. “You guys got any index cards?” I then asked since the only thing in my bag was a single pen, a filler notebook, and an umbrella.

Arthur, thankfully has those fancy color-assorted ones, so he hands me a blue card. After writing our names and majors, Professor Gomez collected the cards and started shuffling them.

The class was completely quiet, and I could tell that everyone was praying not to get called. Why are we even having a recitation on the first day? Usually, we just read through the syllabus and end the class right after, or the professor would talk about their lives, and the students would pretend to be interested.

“Don’t worry. I’m only going to ask basic questions that every one of you should be aware of,” Professor Gomez says while shuffling the index cards.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as sweat streamed down the side of my forehead. Professor Gomez continues to shuffle the cards, and after a few more agonizing seconds, he pulls out a blue index card, instantly making my heart drop.

“Since my favorite color is blue, we’ll choose this one,” Professor Gomez says, making Justin, Vicki, and even Arthur hide their faces so they wouldn’t get caught laughing while my other classmates sighed in relief.

“Let’s see. Our lucky student is… Mister Domingo Adlawan.”

“ For fuck’s sake. “

“Alright, Mr. Adlawan, please stand.”

Justin encouraged me to stand while I awkwardly scratched the back of my head. I then looked at Professor Gomez—wearing a suit that made him look even more intimidating—and smiled at him so he wouldn’t give me something hard.

“Handsome lad,” he comments, and I could see my friends rolling their eyes back because of it. “But let’s see if there’s something inside that pretty head of yours too,” the professor then adds, making me even more anxious.

“Okay, your question is…”

“ Please ask about the name of our national hero…please 

ask about the name of our national hero

, “ I repeatedly tell myself, clenching the hem of my shirt because of how nervous I was.

“Since your index card is blue, I’ll give you something easy. Mr. Adlawan, who is the first female leader of the revolutionary movement during the Spaniards’ colonization?”

The room falls completely silent, and my heart drops in an instant. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before looking back at the professor with a smile, almost like I was confident. The problem now was…

I didn’t fucking know the answer.

I’ve heard it before, and I’m pretty sure we talked about this in our History class when I was in high school, but who fucking remembers all that? I don’t even remember the name of my class advisor, so how on earth am I going to remember something like that?

“Well? Mr. Adlawan, what’s your answer?”

I gulped and glanced at Vicki, who was mouthing the words, “ Just guess. I don’t know either. “

Alright, I’m a lost cause. I’m not going to be able to answer this, and Professor Gomez is going to see me as a handsome guy who can’t even answer basic history questions.

“Juan Luna?” I finally answer, still trying to sound confident. But as soon as I said my answer, everyone in the room instantly starts laughing except for professor Gomez who looked unimpressed.

“I’m not sure if you’re trying to be funny, Mr. Adlawan, but not only is Juan Luna the wrong answer, but he’s not even a woman,” Professor Gomez explains, and I honestly just wanted to dig a hole in the ground and hide in embarrassment.

“Please sit down,” he says, and I sigh and sit down while Justin continues to laugh out loud, making me flick his forehead.

“Why? Did you know the answer, smarty-pants?”

“No,” Justin replies, making me flick his forehead for the second time. Thankfully Professor Gomez didn’t embarrass me in front of the class and called for another student instead. Apparently, the right answer was Gabriela Silang, or, to be more specific. María Josefa Gabriela Cariño de Silang. I got tired just saying that. How on earth was I supposed to remember?

“Alright, next question.”

Since I got the first question wrong, everyone eventually loosened up and felt less pressured. A handful of us got the answer wrong—including Justin, and Professor Gomez was kind enough to correct us without degrading us, which was great because I ended up learning more than I thought I would.

After an hour and a half, the class finally ended, and Professor Gomez reminded us of the 1x1 picture and also the book that we were supposed to buy for the subject.

“Our next subject is basic algebra, and then we’ll have our lunch,” Vicki tells us while looking at her class schedule on her phone.

“After lunch, we’ll have our major subjects, so we won’t be in the same classes,” Justin then points out. Thankfully Vicki and I are in the same major, so we’ll still be together.

“Mr. Adlawan,” Professor Gomez suddenly calls out while he’s putting his things back in his bag.

“We’ll wait for you outside,” Vicki then says.

The three of them went out of the classroom while I walked towards the desk where Professor Gomez was. I stood in front of him and waited for him to finish. When he shoved this insanely large history book inside his bag, he finally looked back at me and asked, “How are you related to Yade Adlawan?” ( pronounced as -ya (like yam), and -de (like dead). ya-de )

My eyes widened in surprise after hearing the name. “Yade? That’s my mom. You know her?”

“Well, I knew her as Yade Marquez back in the day, but yes, I do know her. I was three years her senior here at LU. I knew her because a friend of mine got the same number as her during the freshmen orientation,” Professor Gomez revealed, surprising me even more. The world really is small.

“How is she now?” he then asks. “The last I heard of her was when we had a reunion, and we found out she was engaged.”

“She’s doing great. She’s been teaching in a public school for almost fourteen years now. I wanted her to take a break, but the said engaged partner died four years ago, so she’s been raising me on her own,” I explain, and Professor Gomez takes a deep breath and nods his head. I appreciated how he didn’t say he was sorry. I’ve received enough condolences and would prefer not to hear them anymore.

“Well, it’s good to know that she’s doing alright,” Professor Gomez says instead, and I thank him for even asking about her.

“I don’t want to stir up drama, but my friend—the senior who got partnered with her, had a huge crush on her back in the day. Of course, they’re married now too, but it’s just strange to have her son in my class now,” Professor Gomez says before chuckling to himself.

I wasn’t expecting to hear that information, but I’m glad I heard it because I now have something to use to tease Mom.

“Anyway, the freshman-senior partnership in LU is one of the reasons why a lot of students enroll here, so I hope you make use of your time with the senior you got partnered with. Ask them as many questions as you can,” Professor Gomez explains as the two of us walk out of the classroom.

When we finally got out, Vicki, Justin, and Arthur joined me. They were curious about what we were talking about, but they were courteous enough to stay quiet while the professor and I still continued our conversation.

“Who were you partnered with, by the way?” He then asks.

“I got a little lucky. I was partnered with the council president.”

“Oh! Aries? You really did get lucky. He’s a very smart and hardworking student. You’ll learn a lot from him. I remember back when he was still a freshman. He was this quiet kid who sat at the very back of the class. It’s surprising how he came out of his shell, and to think that it’s because of the senior who took care of him too,” Professor Gomez then explains to me.

I wanted to ask for the name of the person who had the same number as Aries in the past, but Professor Gomez was ready to leave, so I didn’t have an opening anymore.

“Anyway, I still haven’t forgotten the fact that you mistook Juan Luna for a female revolutionary leader,” he then says, making me awkwardly laugh while scratching the back of my head. Professor Gomez then looks back at my friends and tells them, “You should all work on your knowledge of history. Just because it ended doesn’t mean it’s irrelevant.”

“Yes, Professor Gomez,” the three of them answer in unison.

“Alright, see you at our next meeting.”

Professor Gomez waves goodbye and finally walks away. As soon as he turned to another hallway, Vicki, Justin, and even Arthur looked back at me so they could ask about what the two of us talked about.

“Nothing special. It’s just that he and my mom were schoolmates. He was her senior,” I tell them while we’re walking down the hallway to our next class.

The three of them looked back at me with shock, almost like they had heard something absurd. To be honest, it’s not even that shocking. My mom studied here, so it’s going to be natural that I meet people who know her.

“Anyway, we should get ready for our next class. Rachel told me that our professor teaches fast, so you can’t remove your eyes from the board for even a second,” Vicki explains to us.

“Who’s Rachel?” Arthur asks, which was a question that we were all pondering about too.

“Oh yeah, that’s the name of the senior I got partnered with. Haven’t you guys talked to yours yet? I already asked for a couple of questions last night, and on Friday, we’re going to eat lunch together,” Vicki explains with a smile. It’s obvious that she’s excited about it.

“I’ve asked mine a couple of questions on chat too,” Justin answers.

“Same here,” Arthur added.

They then looked my way and waited for my answer.

“W-Well, we just met each other yesterday. There’s no need to keep in touch all the time, right?” I defended, which I think was a pretty valid answer, but the three of them looked disappointed. What’s even more surprising is that Arthur looked weirded out about it too, and that’s his brother we’re talking about.

“Don’t look at me like that. We have a whole year to get to know them more. I’ll have a chance to talk to him by then. And besides, I don’t have his number. I don’t even know any of his socials,” I then tell them, and Vicki literally gasps.

“Are you kidding me? You added us last night but not him? You didn’t even try to stalk him on Instagram or at least on Facebook?” Vicki asks me in a tone that sounded like I did a horrendous crime.

“Do you want me to give you his number? Or do you want me to ask him to follow you? His Instagram’s private after all,” Arthur tells me right after, immediately making me shake my head to decline it. I don’t want Aries to think that I’m using his brother just to get close to him.

The four of us arrived at the classroom for our next class and decided to sit at the very back. While taking a seat, Arthur whips out his phone and shows me the screen. It was Aries’s Instagram profile. “This is his account. Request for a follow. I’m sure he’ll immediately accept it.”

“Sure, I’ll do it later,” I answer, pretending not to be interested at all.

“Come on, do it now before the professor arrives,” Vicki insisted, making me sigh and pull out my old phone that had a crack on the side, and all I could do was put a screen protector and hope for the best.

I opened my Instagram and searched for Aries’s profile. This dude has almost five thousand followers, which made me hesitate on whether or not I should really do this, but Justin moved close and clicked on the button for me before I could even make a decision.

“There, no need to act so shy about it, Mr. Adlawan. It’s not like he’s going to bite,” Justin then teased before pulling out his pen from his pocket so he could start playing with it again.

I take a deep breath and look at my phone. While Arthur, Vicki, and Justin started talking, I ended up staring at Aries’s locked profile like a creep. The profile picture he was using was a picture of him looking through a microscope. I don’t know why, but it’s very…him.

While staring at my phone, I didn’t even notice that the bell already rang, and our professor finally entered the room. I tried to be attentive as much as I could, but I ended up glancing at my phone instead, anxiously waiting for a notification that would confirm a stupid follow-back.

“Alright, class, let’s start today’s lesson.”

…

The cafeteria was as noisy as yesterday, and we were all sitting at the same table as last time. Justin, Vicki, and Arthur went to the stalls to buy their lunch while I stayed behind and watched over their bags because I didn’t have any money to buy mine since I told my mom I still had some from yesterday’s allowance, even though that was a lie.

Even though I was hungry, I told Vicki and the others that I was fasting and that it was a ’ religious thing .’ Thankfully they didn’t question it.

While I waited for them, I took out my phone again and checked for any notifications. When I saw that there wasn’t any, I turned my phone off and buried my face in my backpack. How pathetic can I be? First, I practically declared that I was going to defeat him, and now I’m devastated over a stupid follow. What kind of first-world problem is this? And how on earth am I even going to beat a scholar? I can’t even answer basic history questions.

“You alright?” Someone suddenly asks.

I looked up and saw Arthur holding a tray of delicious-looking food. The smell made me swallow the saliva down, but before I could start drooling, I immediately stood from my seat and said, “I think mother nature is calling. I’ll be right back.”

Arthur nodded his head, so I ran off and pretended to go to the bathroom. When it looked like no one was looking, I went to a different building and looked for a drinking fountain instead.

I stepped on the pedal, and cold water started pouring out of the fountain. I drank that water so fast, almost like I’d been stuck in the desert for days, and this was the first time I’d seen water again. After drinking about three glasses worth, I removed my feet from the pedal and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

The water was refreshing, but my stomach still ended up churning, making me groan in frustration. “ This is not the time to be making noises, stomach. Please be quiet, “ I tell myself before turning around so I can head back to the cafeteria. But as soon as I did so, a smaller boy appeared in front of me.

It was Aries.

“P-president Aries,” I say in shock, surprising him too.

Aries didn’t say anything, but then I noticed that he was holding an empty water bottle. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to block it.” I say, immediately moving aside so he can have access to the water fountain. Aries still didn’t say anything, so I just nodded my head and got ready to leave, but before I could even take a step, Aries stopped me.

“It’s your lunch break, right?” He suddenly asks, making me look back at him.

“Oh yeah, I just went here to drink some water. A bottle of water is quite expensive after all,” I say before laughing it off so it would sound less depressing.

“But there’s a water fountain in the cafeteria. Why did you have to run all the way to this building?” he then asked, and I could no longer make up an answer.

I wanted to just laugh it off and admit that I didn’t have money to buy lunch, but that felt way too pathetic. So when Aries asked me that question, the only thing I could do was look away from him in embarrassment. Aries is a smart guy, after all. He’ll eventually figure it out.

“Well, I’ll just—” Before I could even excuse myself, Aries suddenly grabbed my hand and started dragging me somewhere. I couldn’t even ask anything because I was too confused as to why he was doing this. My mind was literally not able to comprehend the situation.

After dragging me a couple of steps away from the water fountain, Aries lets go of my hand and opens the door in front of us before heading inside. I hesitated to follow him at first, but he gestured for me to enter, so I did.

The room looked like an office, and there were tons of boxes, files, and old props too.

“I’m sorry, but why did you bring me here? Is this the student council office? Am I even allowed here?” I ask, but instead of answering me, Aries drags a chair in front of the desk and says, “Take a seat.”

I furrowed my brows but did what I was told. As soon as I sat down, Aries pulled something out from a paper bag and handed it over to me. It was a warm styrofoam container. And when I opened it, I was surprised that there was actually food inside.

“What are you—”

“We went to an elementary school as teacher volunteers and prepared lunch for the kids. We had extras, so you can have some. Don’t worry about it,” Aries says while handing me plastic utensils and a bottle of water, surprising me even more.

He doesn’t say anything anymore, and he doesn’t even ask me anything. Instead, he sat in front of me and started reading through the paper that he was probably reading earlier.

I slowly looked down at the food and clenched my spoon and fork. The food was a small portion of spaghetti and a single piece of chicken. I grabbed my fork and took the first bite. I don’t know why, but the moment I tasted it, my eyes started to water. Maybe because I pitied myself, or maybe because I felt so grateful.

“College can be financially draining,” Aries suddenly says, making me look back at him. He was still busy reading through the papers, so without looking back at me, he continued, “A lot of students let go of one thing to achieve another, but don’t neglect your health. If it’s alright with you, or if you don’t want your friends to see, just come visit this office. You can always grab a bite here.”

Aries puts the papers down, and then he finally looks back at me, his eyes filled with so many emotions that I couldn’t even describe. “I’m your senior partner, after all,” he says, and a tear finally streams down my eyes.

I quickly wiped it away with my bare hand, but Aries handed me his handkerchief. I thanked him and took it before wiping my eyes with it.

“Now finish that and head back. Lunch is going to end soon,” he then says, and I nod my head and finish my meal with great gusto. As soon as I was done with it, I packed everything and properly threw it away.

“Thank you, President Aries,” I say, and Aries just nods his head while his eyes are still glued on the papers he is reading. I didn’t want to disturb him, so I decided just to leave quietly. But before I could do so, I turned to look at him again. “Aries…” I call out.

Aries looks away from the papers and lands his eyes in my direction.

“What is it?”

“Follow back.”

“Pardon?”

“On Instagram…I hope you can follow me back,” I mustered up the courage to say.

Aries was confused for a while, but he quickly pulled out his phone from his bag. He checks it, and then he chuckles before clicking on something. A couple of seconds later, my phone dings, and that single sound was enough to make my heart skip a beat.

“Done.”

end.

(5) Stalking

I WAS STANDING ON  the aisle inside the bus since there weren’t any seats left for me to take. While holding onto the railings for dear life, I pull out my phone from my pocket to check the notifications on my social account. I don’t know why, but for some reason, I’m waiting for someone to message me, and we all know who that someone is.

After what happened during lunch earlier, I just left the council office and went on my merry way, pretending as if nothing had happened. I didn’t want to tell my friends that I was offered to eat extra-packed lunches from the student council. I know that I shouldn’t be ashamed of it, but I still don’t have the stomach to tell them that I can’t even afford to buy water.

“ Nothing… “ I mumble to myself, staring at my broken cellphone screen.

The bus stopped on my street, so I immediately squeezed myself between the crowd of passengers and successfully got out. While walking to my house, my fingers start searching for a name.

Aries_Moon. That was his username.

I click his profile and start looking through his photos like a total stalker. I’m just going to pretend like I’m simply trying to get to know my senior partner better, so there is nothing for me to be shy about.

It’s amazing how you get a glimpse of someone’s life through a small screen. For instance, Aries likes to stargaze. He has a dozen pictures of the night sky and even a few pictures of this expensive-looking telescope. He likes to read books too, considering how he has a shelf filled with them, and then there’s his pet turtle.

He rarely posts pictures of himself, except for a photo of him and his pet turtle that’s sitting on his palm. And then there was another photo of him wearing a red ribbon on his forehead with the caption: It’s been so long. Now it’s time to look for my own number 22. So he also got the number 22 when he was a freshman student?

“ Cute… “ I mumble to myself, and as soon as I say such a thing out loud, I immediately clear my throat and hid my phone back in my pocket.

“Dom! Catch!” Someone suddenly called out just when I was about to enter our house. I quickly turn around, and a basketball comes flying right in front of my face. Thankfully I was able to catch it in time.

“Nice save, man!” A voice says, and a group of guys approaches me with their bodies covered in sweat. It’s obvious that they just finished an intense game. When I say a group of guys, I mean my neighbors who ended up becoming my childhood friends. My parents lived in this neighborhood almost their entire lives, so the kids here grew up together.

Though we’re childhood friends, they don’t really know everything about me, and that includes my sexual orientation. I’m not really trying to hide it since I’m pretty open to talking about it to anyone, but none of them really asked me. Well, none of them except for one.

“Look at this handsome college kid. Where’s you’re uniform, Dom? You’re not looking the part,” this taller guy says before draping his arms around my shoulder, immediately making me push his hand away because of how sweaty he was.

Angelo Sanchez, short for Gelo ( pronounced as jello ), is my 21-year-old childhood friend and the first guy in the neighborhood who found out that I’m gay.

Gelo and I basically grew up together because our mothers are considered kumares, or in simple terms, neighbors who love to gossip about other neighbors.

The two of us went to the same kindergarten, grade school, and even high school together. But after graduation, I was the only one who pursued my education and decided to go to college. Gelo told me that studying was just a complete waste of time and money, so he started working instead. Right now, he’s working at a cash register in a convenience store.

“You’re home late,” he says while the other guys wave goodbye to us.

“Traffic,” I answer, walking towards our house while Gelo follows behind me. I pull out the keys from my pocket and open the door. Before I could even ask Gelo if he wanted to come inside, he had already helped himself in, almost like he owned the place.

“Where’s mama?” He asks—and yes, before anyone could even ask, he calls my mom mama too, and vice versa. We’re practically brothers at this point.

“She’ll be coming home late again. Said she has to check a couple more papers,” I answer, and Gelo opens our fridge and pulls out a pitcher of cold water so he can take a drink.

“So, how’s school, Dom? Has anyone bullied you yet?” He teasingly asks.

I turn the electric fan on and take a seat on our old sofa. “Shouldn’t you be at work?” I ask instead.

“My boss changed my shift,” he answers. “Now I work from 7 pm to 5 am.”

“You literally only have an hour left. What on earth are you still doing here?” I then ask him, and Gelo chugs the water down and looks back at me with a smile, a smile that made me roll my eyes in annoyance because I knew exactly what that meant.

“Can I use your bathroom?”

“No.”

“Please! That water bill is getting higher, and mom was only able to send money for my sibling’s tuition,” Gelo complains, making me massage my temple in frustration.

“So you want our water bill to rise?”

“I’ll treat you to dinner at the convenient store.”

“Fine,” I reply with no hesitation, and Gelo happily runs to the bathroom before I can even change my mind.

After a couple of minutes, Gelo finished, and the two of us went out. I waited for him at their gate, and when he was finally wearing his uniform, the two of us went to the convenience store where he works at, which was just fifteen minutes away. Thankfully he has a second-hand motorcycle that wouldn’t start from time to time.

“So when are you going to answer my question?” He then asked as the two of us went inside the store, greeting the other cashier who was getting ready to go home after his tiring shift.

“What question are you even talking about?”

“College man! How was it? Is it the same as what you expected? You think you’re going to go places with it?”

I take a deep breath as Gelo walks behind the counter. While thinking of the perfect words to say, I made myself a hotdog sandwich and grabbed a can of beer before putting it on the counter so Gelo could pay for it.

“I guess I can’t really say anything yet. It’s only been two days after all,” I honestly say, sitting on the counter and taking a bite of my hotdog.

Gelo opens the can of beer and takes a sip of it first before handing it over to me. “Well, I still think you’re wasting your time. Come on, don’t you pity your mom a little? You should forget about college and just start working so you can help her.”

“You know that that was supposed to be my initial plan, but mama’s a teacher. She values education more than anything and would want to see me with that diploma even if it kills her,” I say before taking another bite of my cheap dinner.

“And then what? After you get that diploma, do you think you’re gonna get a decent job? Those rich folks are probably gonna hog all of the opportunities you’ll even dream of. Life isn’t fair, Dom. You should know by now that hard work isn’t enough anymore. Look at our moms, for instance. They’ve been working hard since they were probably teens, yet they’re still grinding to survive. When does the grin even stop?”

“You’re being way too serious right now, Gelo,” I reply, grabbing the can of beer and taking a sip myself. “You’re always so negative and won’t even give life a chance. Your younger siblings must have a hard time looking for a role model.”

Gelo was about to hit me, but then a customer entered the shop, so I immediately jumped off the counter and quietly eat the rest of my hotdog on the side.

More customers came in, so I was forced to go out and take a seat on the bench to finish my dinner. While looking inside the shop and watching Gelo do his work, I couldn’t help but ponder over what he said.

Am I just wasting my time in college? Should I really just forget about it and start working now? For heaven’s sake, I can’t afford to buy the uniform. Even worse, I can’t even buy lunch. I know that Aries has good intentions, and I really do appreciate his offer, but is that going to be the dynamic of my entire first year in college? Sneaking out at lunch and eating relief goods at the student council office?

“Maybe I really should look for a job. If my mom wants me to finish school, I should at least be able to have money for an allowance,” I say to myself as I pull out my phone from my pocket. I was supposed to look for jobs or maybe even contact my old employer, but when I turned my phone on, I was welcomed by Aries’s Instagram profile. I must have forgotten to exit it earlier.

I got ready to close the app, but then the profile refreshed, and then I spotted Aries posting a new photo. It’s a photo of their student-teacher volunteer work earlier. Aries was standing in front of an old blackboard, talking about the solar system. I couldn’t help but smile and like the post without even thinking about it.

It’s just liking a post. Nothing wrong with that, right?

“ He’s really popular… “ I mumble to myself as I start reading the comments on his post. It hasn’t even been a minute, and people are already showering him with kind words.

I start scrolling even further down to his older posts. He has a couple of pictures with his friends, but I wasn’t able to find any pictures of him with his family. There are more pictures of his turtle, who’s apparently named Leek, and then…

“ Who’s this? “ I ask as I stop at a picture of Aries and another girl who is insanely pretty. There wasn’t any caption, so I couldn’t tell what it was, but the two were standing close with bright smiles on their faces, wearing the school uniform, and they were covered in paint. This was the only picture that Aries had where he was alone with someone.

“Who’s that?” Gelo suddenly asked behind me, almost making me throw my phone in the air because of how shocked I was.

“You scared me, bastard.”

“Well, it’s not my fault you didn’t notice me. You were so immersed in that thing, man,” Gelo says, taking a seat beside me so he can check it too. “Who is that beauty?”

“I don’t know. I only know the guy beside her,” I answer, and Gelo snatches my phone from my hand to get a closer look.

“That’s definitely his girlfriend,” he then says, and the statement came as such a surprise that I ended up snatching my phone back from him.

“How can you tell?”

“Look, their shoulders are touching, there’s no awkward tension between them, their smiles look genuine, and if you look even closer…” Gelo points to something on my screen and continues, “They have matching bracelets. See, they’re in a relationship. It’s clear as day.”

I stare at my phone and look at the two of them with a frown.

Of course, Aries likes girls. For someone as charming and smart as him, he’s definitely popular with the ladies. He wouldn’t like someone like me at all.

Wait, why am I even thinking about that? It’s not like I’m in love with him. Besides, he just gave me free lunch. I can’t like someone just because they showed me kindness. That’s just absurd.

“So, who’s the guy? Why you stalking him?” Gelo then asks, finishing the can of beer that I barely even touched.

“I wasn’t stalking,” I defended before standing from the bench. “Anyway, I have to go. Thanks for dinner.”

Gelo nods his head, and then he tosses me the keys to his motorbike. “Use it to drive home and just get me after my shift,” he says.

“Alright. Thanks,” I say, walking towards his ride and wearing the helmet. While I was securing the straps, I turned to look back at him. “By the way, if you find someone who’s looking for a guy, hit me up. I need a job. Anything will do.”

“Didn’t your mom ban you from working part-time?”

“Well, she doesn’t have to know,” I reply before hopping onto the bike.

Gelo chuckles, and the two of us wave goodbye as I finally drive off to continue my life as a normal college student.

Things in the university eventually settled down, and I was able to adjust to the schedule and overwhelming school tasks that started piling up. Vicki, Justin, Arthur, and I have grown closer each day, but for my senior partner…Well…

“Why is cafeteria food so expensive, but it doesn’t even taste that good,” I complain as I place the tray of food on the table we usually sit on at the cafeteria.

“Well, beggars can’t be choosers,” Vicki then says before handing me a bottle of lemonade. “Here, my treat.”

I look at Vicki like she’s some kind of god and immediately grab her for a hug. “Victoria del Rosario, you are a literal angel,” I say, making Justin and Arthur laugh.

“Alright. Let go before I take it back,” she says, and I immediately move away from her so she can take a seat.

“The class with Ms. Ortega was an absolute menace! I don’t think I’ll be able to do well on the upcoming quiz we’re going to have next meeting,” I say before shoving rice inside my mouth.

“I asked my senior partner to send me his old notes, which was a big help. You should ask yours, too,” Justin then says, and Vicki and Arthur nod their heads in agreement.

The suggestion made me stare at my plate in complete wonder. Aries and I haven’t talked since that food incident, which happened two weeks ago. I was too ashamed to come back to the council office, and I was too embarrassed to contact him first, so I never had the courage to message him. There’s also this fact that Aries finds me annoying, so I didn’t want to bother him.

He might be acting kind towards me because he’s the council president, but I’m pretty sure he’s glad that I haven’t called him yet.

“If I were you, I would message president Aries every day and ask for his help. Imagine, he’s a consistent dean’s lister and is a Summa Cum Laude candidate. He’s the perfect partner,” Vicki exclaims.

“But isn’t that a bit sad? He’s so focused on his academics that he probably doesn’t have any social life,” Justin then says.

“I beg to disagree. Aries is pretty popular among the students, which is why he’s always surrounded by a crowd. But now that you mention it, does he even have time to be in a relationship?” Vicki asks next, and the three of us end up looking at Arthur.

Arthur was busy eating his salad, so when he lifted his head to look at us, he ended up flinching. “What?” He confusingly asks, and Vicki moves closer to him and smiles at him from ear to ear, a smile that the three of us already know about.

“Arthur, can you tell us something about your brother’s love life? It’s just a genuine question. If you don’t want to answer, you don’t have to tell us anything,” Vicki tells him, and Arthur awkwardly scratches the back of his head, unsure of whether or not he should tell us anything.

I knew that Arthur was hesitating, so I was supposed to tell him just to ignore Vicki’s question, but surprisingly enough, Arthur answered her. “Well, I’m not sure now, but last year he brought his girlfriend to our house and introduced her to us. We were all surprised,” Arthur explains to us, making me look down at my plate again.

“So the rumors are true,” Vicki says, suddenly looking serious.

“What rumors?” Justin asks.

“That Aries got together with this really pretty senior from another department. My senior partner told me that this girl won their institute’s pageant and is even a dean’s lister. If he even brought her to meet his family, then they’re probably serious with each other,” Vicki says, and Arthur just shrugs his shoulder.

“Well damn, this guy has a perfect life,” Justin then comments. “Is there anything else your brother can’t do?”

Arthur laughs at the praise and takes a sip of his cold drink. “My brother’s the second oldest. Apollo, our eldest, is an epitome of a perfect son. I kinda feel bad for Aries because he has to make sure he follows in his footsteps. I guess that’s the reason why he’s trying so hard.”

“Has anyone told him that he doesn’t have to? You know…work so hard all the time?” I then ask, remembering the sad eyes that Aries always has on him and the forced smile that he’d usually show to the people around him.

“I guess there was one,” Arthur says before looking down at his plate.

“Who?” I ask back.

“His previous senior partner…Blaine.”

end.

(6) Lash Out

BLAINE DE LA CRUZ, a charming senior who was once the student council president. Arthur told me about Blaine and how he was practically considered the face of this institute when he was still a student. He was so popular that even Vicki knew who he was. And believe me, if Vicki knows who you are, you best believe you’ve made it in life.

“When my brother was a freshman, he admired that guy a lot. Even when he graduated, the two still hung out from time to time,” Arthur explains.

“I can’t believe the Aries Buan is close friends with the Blaine de la Cruz. No wonder Aries became who he is today,” Vicki says, making Justin look back at her annoyingly.

“Please, you’re overreacting.”

“I am not! Blaine was an achiever who graduated with the highest honor. He got his masters as soon as he graduated college and is now working as a professor in the states. He is the epitome of the alumni this school thrives on having,” Vicki explains. And the fact that she knows all that is freaking me out too. How does she even find these pieces of information?

“Wait, so he’s currently in the states?” I then ask.

“If I remember correctly, he and his wife left after he got married because he was offered a teaching position at a well-known university there. Now he’s completing his doctor’s degree in curriculum design,” Arthur explains, and all I could do is be impressed.

I guess if I was Aries, and my senior partner was a literal ideal student, I’d want to excel too.

“Other than that, he’s a hunk. See,” Vicki quickly adds, flashing us her phone so we could see the picture. I thought Vicki was bluffing, but I was left speechless when I saw it with my own eyes. This guy is literally perfect. How can you be godly good-looking, and still be successful in life?

“And this is his wife.” Vicki showed us another picture of him and this beautiful woman, which made me feel even more terrible about myself. How can you be godly good-looking, have a successful life, and have a gorgeous wife? How?!

“Blaine and Aries were practically inseparable. He even visited our house a couple of times.”

“So that’s the guy who would tell your brother that it’s okay to take a break and not be so perfect all the time?” Justin asks further, and Arthur nods his head to confirm it.

“My brother…I’m not really trying to talk behind his back or anything, but he had a different glow when he was with him. He was…himself. I guess as his younger brother, I just miss the old him,” Arthur says with a sad look in his eyes, making the three of us look back at each other before looking back at him.

“Hey, I think your brother is doing great,” Justin then tells him. “I think he’s just a little stressed since he’s a senior, and every senior I know ends up becoming depressed at one point in their lives.”

Seriously Justin?

“What this bozo is trying to say is that maybe he’s just thinking about getting a job and stuff. Look at us, we’re only starting our first year, and I’m already dead inside,” Vicki manages to joke, which wasn’t as great of a comfort as Justin’s, but it was enough to make Arthur smile again.

“But if you really are worried about him, why not talk to him yourself? He probably just needs someone who can listen,” I then suggest next.

“I would, but I guess since we’re a family of boys, talking about feelings was never really open for us. But I’ll try.”

Arthur thanked us for the words of encouragement, and the four of us continued eating our bland lunch.

So the person who made Aries feel like it’s okay to be himself was Blaine. I don’t know what happened between them, but I could tell that he was someone who Aries admired. Maybe that’s the reason why he’s so annoyed with me. He couldn’t believe that his new freshmen partner turned out to be a useless gay guy like me. I bet Aries was as amazing as he was back then.

The two of us really have nothing in common at all. At this rate, we’ll never form any kind of relationship with each other, and I’ll only remember Aries as the senior student who was out of my league.

…

“Your first examination will be held on September 27. That’s on a Wednesday, so I want all of you to be here. I will not be making any exemptions for anyone who won’t be able to take it. Is that understood?” Professor Estrada told us right after the bell rang, making everyone in our class stand so they could leave.

Mrs. Estrada’s class was our last class for the day, so everyone was tired and was just excited to head home. It also doesn’t help that she’s teaching us Humanities, which looks easy but is actually quite difficult.

“It’s rush hour again. The train station is going to be filled,” Vicki complains.

“We’re going in the same route, right? Why not just hop on my motorcycle? I’ll take you home,” Justin then offers, which is pretty strange since he’s not the type to act like a gentleman. Vicki somehow saw through his bullshit and immediately declined him. “I feel you’re doing this because you want someone to do your Filipino paper, so I’ll have to decline.”

Justin laughs and scratches the back of his head before looking at me.

“Nope, not a chance,” I immediately tell him before he can even say anything.

“You’re riding the bus, right?” Arthur then asked me, and I nodded my head in reply.

The four of us were ready to head out, but then Professor Estrada stopped me before I could even step out of our room.

“You guys can go ahead first. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell them, and Vicki, Justin, and Arthur nod their heads and wave their hand goodbye before heading out. I took a deep breath and walked back to Mrs. Estrada’s desk, putting a fake smile on my face so she wouldn’t know that I was in a hurry to go home.

“Yes, prof?” I ask, standing in front of her.

Mrs. Estrada was staring at her laptop before removing her eyes from the screen to look at me. She adjusts her eyeglasses, and then she says, “Mr. Adlawan, we had two quizzes and an activity. Are you aware that you failed all of them?”

“Oh…” was the only thing I could say because I was very much aware that I was failing my class, unlike Arthur and the others who could actually do well.

“Our preliminary exams are coming up, and with your current status, you will fail your first grade. You might think it’s fine to fail now because you can just do well on the next test, but that mentality will cause you a great deal. If you can’t help yourself now, how can you expect you’ll help yourself on the next one?” Mrs. Estrada asks, making me look down at the floor.

“I’m sorry, professor.”

“No, don’t apologize to me. Just do well and study more.”

“Yes, I understand.”

“Alright, then you may go.”

I nod my head and finally walk out of the room. Even though no one was there to hear all that, I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. I’m already in college, and the professors are now starting to call me out for doing poorly. I’m even failing my other classes, and we’re barely a month in. Why the hell is studying so difficult anyway?

“Dom?” A soft voice suddenly calls out, making me lift my head to check who it is.

I wasn’t expecting anyone, but when I saw Aries standing before me, I couldn’t help but be surprised. “President Aries,” I say.

Aries looks at me and nods his head to acknowledge me. I then noticed that he was holding a bunch of boxes, so I immediately grabbed the one on top and told him, “I’ll help you with that. Where are you heading?”

Aries looked like he wanted to decline my offer, but since I was already holding the box, he sighed and answered, “Office.”

“Alright then, let’s go.”

The two of us walked down the hallway towards the council office. As I expected, the two of us didn’t say a thing, and I could feel the awkward tension between us. But I should at least say something to him, right? I’m the one who invaded his bubble anyway.

“By the way, I want to thank you again for the lunch last time. It might not have been a big deal to you, but it was for me. And I also apologize for crying and making you feel uncomfortable too,” I say, looking his way.

Aries doesn’t look back at me, and I thought he wouldn’t answer me at all, but after a while, he says, “I wasn’t uncomfortable. It’s okay to cry.”

His answer surprised me, but then I ended up smiling like an idiot. “Is that so?” I ask back, but Aries doesn’t say anything anymore.

Okay, maybe he hates me a little less now. Perhaps I can ask him to help me with the upcoming test. He said himself that he’s my senior partner and he has the responsibility to take care of me. Maybe my friends are right. Maybe I just have to ask for his help. But how am I going to pop the question? I don’t want to sound demanding.

I should think of an icebreaker.

“Oh, Aries, I heard your senior partner helped you a lot in the past, so you must know what it feels like to have someone to rely on, right?” I asked him, and this finally made Aries look back at me.

“What did you just say?”

“I mean…what I’m trying to say is that if it’s fine with you, is it alright if I—”

“Who told you about my senior partner?” Aries suddenly asked a question I wasn’t expecting him to ask. He stopped walking all of a sudden, so I stopped walking too. I don’t know if I said something wrong, but our awkward tension turned completely different. It became somehow hostile.

“I don’t know why you suddenly look upset, but your brother mentioned a guy named Blaine. He was your senior partner, right?” I honestly tell him. I didn’t even mean to offend him, but Aries looked offended by what I said.

“My brother? Are you asking questions about me from my brother?” He angrily asks me, making me take a step back. I wanted to tell him that we didn’t directly ask Arthur about Blaine, but I couldn’t fully deny it because Vicki really did stick her nose a little, and I’m also not going to deny that I wasn’t interested in hearing them.

My silence probably angered him even more because Aries suddenly took the box from me.

“You really are fucking annoying,” he fires back.

“Excuse me?”

“What are you, a stalker? Is checking my profile not enough that you even have to ask my brother about me? That’s so pathetic.”

“Hey, I admit that it’s wrong for me to ask your brother about you, but is that enough reason to talk back to me like that?” I ask him, my anger now matching his. Why is he even so pressed? I didn’t even say anything that should be enough to anger him like this.

“If you try to snoop around my past again—” Aries pauses, but then he suddenly decides not to finish his sentence anymore. “J-Just…just leave me alone.”

Aries grips the boxes he’s holding and walks away from me, leaving me standing in the middle of the hallway like a complete idiot.

For a moment, I was angry, but then my anger changed into complete confusion.

What the hell did I say wrong? Why did he suddenly lash out at me like that, as if I had committed the biggest sin on earth? Will a normal person really react like that? It’s natural for people to ask about someone they know nothing about; there’s nothing wrong with that, but why is he acting so guarded? Did he commit a crime or something?

“What are you, a stalker? Is checking my profile not enough that you even have to ask my brother about me? That’s so pathetic.” I suddenly remember him saying, making me close my eyes to calm down because if I don’t, I might end up punching a locker in complete frustration.

“ Inhale…exhale, “ I whisper to myself.

After taking slow and deep breaths, I opened my eyes and shouted, “Fuck you, zodiac sign! I hate you too!”

My voice echoed in the hallway, and at that exact moment, students started walking out of their rooms. They looked at me weirdly, so I immediately turned around and ran off because of complete embarrassment.

It’s official.

I hate that guy.

Who does he even think he is? Why the fuck does he think it’s okay to talk back at someone like that? Just because he’s popular and is a perfect student doesn’t mean he can speak to me like I’m some kind of lowlife.

I’m never going to ask for his help. I’m not even going to look at him. Fuck that guy. I had had enough of trying to get close to him. I don’t need a senior partner. I don’t need him.

“ What’s so great about him anyway? Do the others not see how terrible of a person he really is? And it looks like I’m the only one who he acts that way around. What’s with that? “ I complain to myself as I walk towards the gate.

While I was walking, my phone suddenly vibrated from my pocket, immediately making me pull it out. It was a call from Gelo.

“What?” I ask right after answering his call.

“Whoa, you sound mad. What happened?” He asked back, and I could barely hear him because I could hear people shouting in the background. Looks like he’s playing basketball with the other guys again.

“It’s nothing. What do you want?”

“You’re looking for a job, right?” Gelo suddenly says, making me stop in my tracks.

“I am. You found one?”

“Well, a buddy of mine messaged me last night and was wondering if I was available. Since I already have one at the convenience store, I recommended you instead,” he explains, almost making me celebrate. Maybe my day isn’t so bad after all.

“He’s asking that you head to their place today so they can check on you and so you can decide if you’re willing to work with them. I’ll send you the address. You should head there now before they find a new one.”

“Okay, thank you, man. I appreciate it.”

Gelo ends the call, and a couple of minutes later, he sends me the address. Red Light was the place’s name, and it was about thirty minutes from the campus.

Wait, is this a bar?

Well, like what Vicki said, beggars can’t be choosers, so I might as well go there now and forget about that zodiac sign once and for all. He might look like he holds the secrets of the universe, but he’s definitely a code I’m no longer willing to unlock.

end.

(7) Red Light

I GOT TO THE address that Gelo sent a little bit earlier than I expected, so when I arrived at the front door, the bar wasn’t even open yet, and all I could do was wait like an idiot outside.

“Do I just knock?” I ask myself, awkwardly scratching the back of my head while I stare at the screen of my phone, pretending like I am looking at something, but, in reality, I was trying to act busy so others won’t look at me weirdly.

I continued to stand outside the bar for a couple more minutes, but after a while, I decided to call Gelo and ask him if I was being scammed. But right before I could even dial his number, someone suddenly pats my back, immediately making me turn around.

A man about 6 feet tall appears in front of me. He was a big guy, and I felt like he could slap me once, and I’ll be knocked out in an instant. He’s probably the bouncer here.

“Sir, the bar is closed and will open at 8:00 PM. You can come back by then,” he tells me.

“No, my apologies. I’m here for work. A friend of mine, Angelo Sanchez, asked me to come here,” I explained, hoping Gelo didn’t fuck me over and trick me into coming to a bar at a time like this.

The bouncer furrowed his brows in confusion, but then he snapped his fingers as if he had a eureka moment. “Oh! You’re Gelo’s guy,” the bouncer says, almost making me roll my eyes in annoyance because of how I was labeled. “He called a couple of minutes ago. Madam Scarlet’s already waiting for you inside.”

Madam Scarlet?

“Follow me. I’ll lead you to her,” he then says, opening the large door and heading inside first while I follow behind him.

We got inside the bar, and to my surprise, the inside looked bigger and fancier than I imagined. There’s a bunch of tables and a large bar area, and then there’s a stage with a ton of lights. For a second, I didn’t think much of it, but then I noticed a silver bar in the middle of the stage. It took me a while to realize that it was actually a stripper pole.

Wait, what kind of bar is this? Is Gelo really trying to get me expelled?

“Morning Big Joe,” a man wiping the table says, and the bouncer—who is apparently referred to as Big Joe—smiles and waves at him.

We went backstage and stopped in front of a door with a star symbol. “She’s inside. Just tell her you’re from Gelo,” he says before patting my back and walking back to his post before I could even thank him.

I took a deep breath and fixed myself to look presentable. After fixing my hair for the tenth time, I finally knocked on the door.

“Come in!” A voice from inside the room shouts after my third knock.

I slowly opened the door and stuck my head inside. I couldn’t really dissect what I was looking at because I was welcomed with bright lights, a ton of colorful feathers, and the smell of perfume mixed with cigarettes.

“I’m right here, darling,” a feminine voice answers.

I went inside and closed the door behind me before walking deeper inside the room. The room was a total mess, and it only made me realize that they were actually props and costumes. When I got to the end of the room, I spotted a beautiful woman sitting in front of a vanity. I didn’t notice it at first, but when I got closer, I realized that she was only wearing lingerie, so I immediately covered my eyes as a sign of respect.

“M-My apologies, I didn’t mean to—”

“Oh please, my dick’s probably bigger than yours, so settle down,” the woman suddenly explains, making me put my hands down. I looked at the woman again and realized she was actually a man. Well, to be more specific, she had a man’s body.

“My name is Michael Redford, but here people call me madam Scarlet. I am a man by day but a woman by night. And you, young one, what do I call you?”

I looked at my watch and saw that it was already 6:30 PM.

“Good evening, ma’am,” I tell her right after. “I’m Domingo M. Adlawan. Gelo referred to me. He told me you were looking for a guy to do work,” I explain.

Michael Redford, better known as madam Scarlet, was putting makeup on her face while staring at herself in the mirror. “Ah! Gelo! That’s right, I called him, but he said he wasn’t available. He told me he had a guy who could fill in instead. I’m surprised he gave me such a handsome one.”

“I’m flattered, ma’am.”

“Scarlet is fine,” she quickly corrected.

“Oh y-yes, Scarlet.”

“Well, we do need a guy,” she says, now putting blush on her cheeks. “The last one got into a motorcycle accident, so he can’t come anymore. The job isn’t technically hard, but it’s not easy either. Are you up for it?”

“Yes, any job will do. I really need the money.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to ask you to do anything crazy. You’re here as a floor employee or, more specifically, a cleaner. You must consistently mop the floors since they get wet and sticky quickly. You should clear the tables when the customers leave and clean the toilets. That’s everything you’re asked to do. You up for the job, Mr. Adlawan?” Scarlet asks me as if I would decline it.

Come on, cleaning toilets? I’ll clean it so good people would be embarrassed to shit on it.

“Of course! I’ll do it,” I excitedly say, making Scarlet chuckle. She puts the brush down and finally turns to look at me. “I like you, Domingo, you look like a person who works hard, and we need those types of people here.”

“Thank you,” I answer.

“I heard from Gelo that you’re in college, but don’t worry, the schedule is reasonable. The bar is only open on Fridays to Sundays, 8 PM to 5 AM. As for your salary, you’ll get paid 300 a night. If you do well, we can add a little bonus,” Scarlet then explains.

Three hundred a night, so it’s fifty pesos per hour. It’s not much, but it’s better than my last job. For three days, I can earn nine hundred, and that would be enough for my school expenses for the week. I just have a lie to Mom and tell her I’m working someplace else.

“You can start tomorrow. Just wear a black T-shirt and a pair of jeans. And please, wear shoes. The last one kept on wearing slippers. It was very unappealing.”

“Yes, Madam Scarlet.”

“Alright, then we’re good to go. See you tomorrow Domingo.”

I thanked Scarlet for giving me the job and finally walked out of her room with a bright smile on my face. I really needed a job, so this is going to be a big help.

“ What’s your theme today? “ I overheard a voice say as I closed the door behind me.

“ I’m wearing a fireman costume. You? “ 

I turned to a corner, and three good-looking guys suddenly welcomed me. They were surprised to see me too, but the guy in the middle suddenly laughed at my appearance and jokingly told me, “Hey, big guy, you lost? The school bus is that way.”

I glanced at the backpack I was wearing and unconsciously held onto the straps like a kid. “No, I work here now,” I answer, making the three of them look at each other before looking at me. They must have been surprised to see me here.

“Is that so? You must be filling in for Trance. Heard he’s still at the hospital after that accident,” another guy explains, making me stare at the three of them in confusion. 

Who are they anyway?

“Anyway, welcome to Red Light Bar. You’re unlucky to be working here,” the guy wearing a vest then tells me.

“I can clean toilets. It’s not a big deal,” I reply because I thought that that’s what they were referring to, which obviously wasn’t because they started laughing again when they heard my response.

“No, we meant you’re unlucky to be working here as a floor employee since you’re handsome. You have a good body type too,” one of them answers, almost making me blush. To be fair, if a handsome guy himself tells you you’re handsome, that’s another level of flattery.

“And why would my face be an unfortunate disadvantage as a cleaner?” I ask, and the three laugh again as if I were some kind of ignorant child.

“You’re a cleaner, which means you’re working on the floors where the customers can easily spot you. Some of them can be a little handsy and aggressive, so you might want to be aware of that,” the more petite guy explains, making me furrow my eyes in confusion.

“H-Handsy and aggressive? What type of bar is this anyway?” I finally ask.

“You’re going to work here, but you’re unaware of what this place is? Damn, kids these days are bold,” the guy on the left says, making the other two nod their heads in agreement.

The guy in the middle–the taller one–looks at me and takes a step closer, making me smell the strong scent he had on him. “As we mentioned earlier, welcome to Red Light…the district’s most famous gay bar.”

…

“Why didn’t you tell me that Red Light is a gay bar?!” I angrily asked Gelo over the phone while I was walking home.

Gelo, who was currently at the convenience store he was working for, answers, “You were already aware that it’s a bar, to begin with. What’s the problem? Whether it’s for men, women, lesbians, or gays, a job is a job, so suck it up. You need money, right? Then stop complaining.”

Seriously, this guy is really something.

“If you’re not aware already, Angelo Sanchez, your friend here, is gay,” I reminded him, making Gelo laugh.

“And? Straight men work at straight clubs. Seriously, Dom, I don’t see the issue here. If you’re not comfortable working there, then tell Madam Scarlet and look for a different job. It’s that simple. Besides, you’re working as a cleaner. It’s not like you’re asked to suck dick,” Gelo then explains, making me stop in my tracks.

Okay, let me ignore Gelo’s last statement and think for a second. The pay is decent at the Red Light, and I do need extra money, so I don’t have to ask Mom for more. The bar is a few minutes away from home, so commuting won’t be a problem. The best part is, the job lands on a weekend, so I don’t have to worry about missing classes. If we’re going to talk about convenience, this job hits the jackpot.

“You know what, fine. I’ll stop acting like a bitch and take the job like a champ. But if those customers start doing anything funny, I’m out.”

“Dude, if they touch you, punch them. You’re stronger than me anyway.”

“So now you want me to get arrested,” I say, making him laugh this time. “Anyway, I’m already home. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” I ended the call without hesitation and shoved my phone inside my pocket before walking towards our house. The door was open, so I knew that my mom was home.

“Mama! I’m home!” I announce, throwing my bag on the sofa and walking to the kitchen. Mom wasn’t there, so I knocked on her bedroom door and waited for her to answer. When no one said a thing, I opened the door and found Mom sitting in front of her desk, sleeping.

I took a deep breath and stared at her with a sad smile. She was still wearing her teacher’s uniform, and there were piles and piles of test papers in front of her. I couldn’t help but feel sad that she still has to work so much for a job that pays so little.

“Ma…” I call out, gently touching her back to wake her. “You’re going to get sick like that. You should change your clothes first and go to bed.”

Mom was stubborn for a while, but after a few more minutes, she finally sat up.

She yawns and looks at my face before giving out a sweet smile. “Oh, son, you’re back. Sorry, mama wasn’t able to cook dinner yet. Let me just—” Mom was about to stand from her seat to prepare our meal, but I immediately stopped her.

“Don’t worry about the food. I’ll cook. Just go wash yourself up,” I tell her, and Mom smiles again and pats my cheek before walking out of her bedroom so she can wash up.

When Mom left her room, I took a deep breath and tidied her desk before heading to the kitchen. Our fridge had anything barely in it, so I just prepared the rice and fried the last three pieces of chicken we had left of the freezer.

When mom was finished freshening up, she set the table for us, and the two of us eventually started eating our dinner.

“Here, you can have this,” I say, placing the extra chicken on her plate.

“No, you have it. I’m not that hungry,” she tells me before immediately transferring it back to my plate.

“Ma…”

“How was school?” she asks, dodging my retaliation.

I sighed and decided not to fight with her anymore before answering, “It’s been great. Classes have been a little hard though, but—” I paused and remembered my argument with Aries. If I weren’t hungry, I would have lost my appetite.

“Ma, remember Professor Gomez? The one I told you about last time?” I ask her.

“I do. He’s the friend of the senior I partnered with, right?” she answers before taking a bite of her food.

“Yes, him. I forgot to mention before, but did you ever had a hard time getting close with that senior? Professor Gomez told me his friend liked you, so that’s probably a bonus, but did you ever find them…annoying?” I ask, making my mom chuckle, probably because I mentioned the senior liking her in the past and not because of the question itself.

“We actually got along just fine, even before I found out that they had a crush on me. We just had a lot of similarities, and that senior helped me a lot on my first year in college,” Mom explains, and I could see it in her eyes that she really admired this person too.

“Why, are you not getting along with yours?”

“For starters, he finds me annoying,” I tell her, almost making her choke because of how loud she had to laugh at such a statement.

“He finds you annoying? Well, that’s new. Usually, you’re the one to complain,” she casually says. “But maybe you two don’t see eye to eye. Usually, when that happens, you have to look for common ground.”

“Common ground?”

“That’s right. You don’t know it yet, but you two might be more alike than you think,” my mother tells me before grabbing another bite of her meal.

Me and Aries? Alike? I don’t think there’s anything that the two of us have in common. We’re the sun and moon. There is nothing common about us. Nothing at all.

…

“I still haven’t told Mom about the part-time job,” I tell myself right before closing my bedroom door and throwing myself on the bed.

Getting a job at a gay bar was one thing, but lying to my mom was another. If you want to lie to her, you’ll need actual skills. Half-assed lies will take you nowhere and will definitely get you in a lot of trouble. I learned that the hard way.

But I do have to tell her eventually since I’m going to start working tomorrow.

To be honest, I’m a little nervous. The whole gay thing is fine, but the men working there are a huge problem. Earlier, before I left, I met up with three men who were insanely good-looking.

There are three kinds of employees in the Red Light bar. The floor employees , which are the waiters, bartenders, and cleaners—that’s where I belong. Then we have the stage employees, who perform on stage and are referred to as eye candy since customers can’t touch them. And lastly, we have the table employees, who sit with the customers to entertain them.

Those three categories are like a tier. Floor employees get paid the least, while table employees get paid the most. The three guys I met were in those categories. Two of them are stage employees, but the guy in the middle—whose stage name is Jack—was a table employee.

Jack was the bigger guy among the three and was definitely the more attractive one. He had strong features and fierce eyes. And his body was just mesmerizing. Before I left, he showed me the outfit he would wear for the night, and when I saw how sexy it looked on him…

“ Shit, “ I mumble to myself, looking down to see the growing bulge in my pants.

I looked around the room as if I was making sure that no one was there. When it was obviously empty, I grabbed the lotion beside my bed and unzipped my pants before pulling out my cock.

I smeared the lotion on my palm and grabbed hold of my member, gently stroking it as I remembered Jack’s face. I moved my hand in an upward and downward motion, feeling the warmth of my hand as I tried my best not to make a sound.

Sweat trails down the side of my forehead as I try to tighten my grip. The motion felt so good that my other hand had to grab the bedsheet.

My body trembles as I imagine Jack wearing the outfit he showed me, but I suddenly remember an unpleasant memory before that image can even become clear.

“ You really are fucking annoying. “

As soon as I heard those words, my cock instantly turned limb, and my sexual drive abruptly stopped. “ That asshole, “ I mumble to myself, trying to make myself hard again, but his image ruined it for me, and I could no longer make it stand.

“You’re the annoying one, you zodiac sign,” I angrily say as I zip my pants back up, standing from the bed and walking towards the mirror to stare at my reflection.

“We might be more alike than we think?” I ask myself, grabbing some tissues to clean my dirty hands.

While I cleaned myself up, I couldn’t stop thinking about what my mother had said this time. I’m definitely sure that Aries and I are nowhere near alike. Because unlike me, Aries isn’t going to jerk off just because he met a hot guy.

Unlike me, Aries isn’t gay. 

end.

(8) Work Balance

IT TOOK A WHILE for me to tell my mom about the job I was able to get yesterday, but when I saw her in the living room drinking coffee and watching her favorite morning show, I knew this was the perfect opportunity for me to open it up.

“Morning, ma,” I greeted, sitting beside her on the sofa. Mama’s eyes were glued to the screen of the television, but she nodded her head to acknowledge me.

I start fidgeting with my fingers and glance back at her before looking down at my fingers again. “Ma, I have something to tell you,” I start.

“Hmm?” She answers, obviously more interested in the actors on the screen than the son that’s bugging her.

I cleared my throat and scratched the back of my head before telling her what was on my mind. “I was offered a part-time job, and I took it,” I finally say.

I thought that this would be the perfect time to tell her such a thing. Obviously, I was wrong about that because mom ended up putting her coffee down and removing her eyes from the television screen to look back at me with a serious expression. When she looks at you like that, you know you’ve fucked up.

“Dom, what did I say about—”

“It’s not something that would disrupt my studies. It’s on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. And I’m not really doing anything crazy,” I try to explain to her, hoping she can give me the go signal.

“And what job is it anyway?” She sternly asked, and I was so nervous that I was about to truthfully tell her that it was a gay bar, but I was able to stop myself in time. Lying to her seriously requires complete concentration.

“It’s at a 24-hour computer shop near our campus. A friend of mine knows the owner and said they’re looking for someone who can look after the shop during the night,” I explain, managing to come up with the perfect answer within seconds.

“And who is this friend you’re referring to?” Mom asks next, which is a question I already expected.

If I tell her it’s Gelo, she’ll definitely ask me to forget about it. Gelo can get you any job since he knows a lot of people, but that also means that he gets mixed up with dangerous people too. I have to name someone who my mom won’t suspect.

“Actually, I haven’t really mentioned it yet, but the guy who told me about the job was my senior partner. His name is Aries, and he’s the student body president,” I continue to lie, and I know that I’m currently trying to forget about this guy, but if I use him as a cover-up, mama would definitely say yes. This is payback for being rude to me yesterday.

Mama was obviously surprised. She must not have expected that I’d know someone so responsible. Looks like using the council president as my alibi was a genius idea after all.

“Your senior partner? The same guy who thinks you’re annoying?” My mom then asks, almost making me slap myself.

Okay, maybe that wasn’t a genius idea after all. How can I forget that I ranted about him last night? Now my mom’s going to think I’m lying. I have to think of something fast before she finds out I’m trying to lie to her.

“I didn’t really want to say this, but there was this instance during lunch when I didn’t buy anything because I didn’t have any extra cash. He offered me a meal in the council office, and then he offered me the job,” I explain, which sounded so real because it was kinda real and kinda not.

If my mom asks anything further, then I’m out. I’m not even gonna push it anymore. I have no lies left in me.

“Are you sure this senior find you annoying? He sounds very caring to me,” she says instead, immediately making me feel like I’m about to vomit. The thought of Aries caring about me is literally giving me the chills. That guy was only nice to me because he’s the council president and he’s my partner. He literally has no choice.

“Ma, that’s not the point here,” I quickly tell her, making her chuckle.

Mom grabs her cup from the center table and takes a sip of it. She was quiet for a while, and all we could hear was the taho vendor shouting outside and the chickens who wouldn’t stop cock-a-doodle-dooing.

The t.v commercial plays in the background while I hold my breath, agonizingly waiting for my mom to say something about the job. But after she finished the coffee in her cup, she took a deep breath and looked at me.

“If your grade drops even in the slightest, you are going to quit this job. Do you understand me?” My mom asks, and my eyes instantly widen when I realize what she means by those words.

“Are you telling me—”

“Just make sure you focus on your health and your study. Do you understand me?” She then asks, and I immediately grab my mom to hug her tightly.

“Thank you!” I celebrated, letting go of her and standing from the sofa. “I’ll make sure that I won’t forget about my studies. That’s a promise.”

I ran to the room and got ready for my first day on the job. I know that lying to her isn’t the best way to do it, but I don’t want to always rely on her. I just have to ensure I don’t flunk any of my courses.

That’s going to be easy. It’s just studying. It’s not like I’ll be able to fuck that up too, right?

…

“Hey, Big Joe!” I greeted him, and the bouncer, Joe, looked at me and hit me in the back as a reply. I laugh and pretend like it didn’t hurt at all as I walk inside the bar. Compared to yesterday, there were more people. The bar hadn’t really opened yet, but almost all the employees were already there.

“The new guys here!” One of them announced as soon as I got inside. There were at least dozens of them there, arranging the tables, sweeping the floors, and prepping the bar area.

“Domingo!” someone calls out, making me turn my head to see who it is.

A large guy barely wearing anything approaches me with a dimpled smile. It was Jack, the table employee from yesterday. He stopped in front of me, and this sweet smell instantly welcomed my nose.

“It’s your first day. I hope you’re ready,” he says, and I awkwardly laugh and scratch the back of my head. I couldn’t even look him in the eye after what I did yesterday. Now I feel guilty.

“Come on, let me introduce you to someone. He’s the guy who handles the floor employees. If you want to ask any questions, he’s your guy,” Jack tells me before walking towards the bar where an older guy was wiping bottles.

“Gin, here’s your guy,” Jack introduces, gesturing at me.

“Gin? Your name is Gin?” I unconsciously asked, and the two of them laughed.

Did I say something wrong?

“Gin is like a stage name, just like Jack here. We don’t use our real name in this bar. You should think of a stage name too. You don’t want the customers to know who you are,” Gin explains.

“But I’m just a cleaner,” I answer, and Gin shrugs his shoulders.

“Anyway, I’ll have to prepare for later. Take good care of him for me,” Jack then says, winking at me before walking away.

I swallow the lump in my throat and stare at his back, my eyes getting lower like I was some kind of creep. But before I could even land on his lower area, I quickly looked away before I ended up becoming even more of a pervert.

“You can look. Jack likes it when people look,” Gin suddenly says, startling me.

When Gin saw my reaction, he ended up laughing, but after that, he smiled at me and showed me his hand. “My name is Richard, but as I said earlier, people call me Gin. I’m the head bartender and the person who handles the floor employees. I’m also madam Scarlet’s lover. We run this bar together.”

“O-Oh…I see,” was the only thing I could say, making Gin laugh again.

“Don’t worry. You’re safe here. Like the customers, the privacy of our employees is important. What you are and what you do here has nothing to do with the version of you outside. That’s why you can look at the employees as much as you want. They’re not wearing those thongs just to be ignored, you know. Just don’t touch. That’s the rule here,” Gin explained to me, and I could feel my face turning red because of how embarrassed I felt.

“No, I don’t think I can just stare at them like that. That would be too rude,” I say, and Gin ends up laughing even more.

“You are too kind for this job, Domingo. Anyway, get a broom at the back and help sweep the stage. After that, you can wipe the poles. Head back to me when you’re done.”

“Yes, sir.”

Working as a cleaner isn’t technically the hardest job in the world. When the doors to the Red Light bar opened, people of all ages and gender came to have a good time. Jake and the other table employees immediately welcomed them with open arms while those at the stage busted their asses off like there was no tomorrow. I, on the other hand, was tasked to mop the floors from time to time.

I was mostly on standby the entire night. When a drunk customer spills his drink, I clean it. When they vomit in the toilet, I also clean it. To be honest, cleaning isn’t the hardest part of my job. The hardest part of what I do are the customers.

Gin told me that when the customers call for me, I’ll just have to ignore them. Sometimes they try to grab my arm, and sometimes they try to grab my ass. I was also offered drinks from time to time, but like Gin said, don’t even give them a glance.

One of the waiters, whose name is Demetrio, got his ass squeezed by this ugly-looking customer. The bouncer had to escort him out before things got messy.

Other than the sexual advances by some of these pigs, it’s not always so depressing. Later in the night, the others perform on stage with madam Scarlet. I have never seen that much money in my life, but during their performance, hundred to thousands of bucks were thrown on stage. I was almost tempted to steal some for myself.

I was nervous during my first day, but I slowly started getting the hang of it. Everyone looked like they were enjoying themselves, and the environment was good too, so I ended up looking forward to the weekends so I could work at the bar.

Sometimes, when I’m not busy, I help with the props. There was even a time when I had to put glitter on one of them. I had never in my life thought that I’d be putting glitter on a man’s boobs. It’s an experience that I never thought I’d do. Guess that’s a check on my imaginary bucket list.

“Mr. Adlawan!” my professor suddenly calls out, immediately making me stand from my seat in panic.

“Yes, sir?” I asked, and my classmates ended up laughing at me.

“ He’s getting our attendance, you moron, “ Vicki whispers to me, making me awkwardly laugh as I sit back in my seat.

“P-Present, sir,” I answer instead, and professor Gomez takes a deep breath and continues with the attendance.

A new problem I face is that I get burned out on my Monday and even Tuesday classes. Despite working only on the weekend, my body gets too tired that I end up slacking off in class. I know that I promised my mom that I’d balance my job and my studies, but I’m finding it difficult with each passing day.

“Where should we eat?” Justin asks after our classes.

I rubbed my eyes and lazily stood from my seat before looking at Justin and the others. “You guys can eat anywhere. I’m just going to sleep,” I say before yawning.

“Hey, we’ve already noticed this before, but what the hell are you doing on the weekends?” Vicki finally asked me, and it was a question that the three of them had been dying to ask since Arthur and even Justin was looking at me in anticipation.

I wasn’t sure if I should tell them I’m working at a bar, but I guess it won’t hurt if I just mention that I’m working part-time.

“I got a job, so I get a little burned out,” I tell them.

“You got a job? Why on earth would you need a job?” Arthur asks, sounding surprised.

“Well, yes, Mr. Art Buan, I got a job. Poor students like me need extra money to survive,” I sarcastically answer, and this guy, who is too innocent for his own good, suddenly looked apologetic, making me ruffle his head so he wouldn’t feel bad.

“Relax, I was just joking. I took a job so I could lessen my mom’s expenses. I’ve only been working for a few weeks, but I’ll eventually adjust to it. I promise,” I tell them, and the three of them look worried. Seriously, how was I able to make friends with these guys? They’re too good for me. They’re literally the opposite of my childhood friend, Gelo.

“Our exams are next week, Dom. You think you’ll be able to handle it?” Vicki then asked, and instead of answering her, I just laughed in response.

“Enough about that. Let’s just go. I know you guys are hungry,” I tell them, and the three of them just give up as we walk our way out of the classroom. But just before I could even step out the door, professor Gomez, who was still at his desk, stopped me.

“ Shit, “ I whisper before looking back at him. “Yes, sir?”

“Mr. Adlawan, I have something important to tell you,” he says, making me sigh.

“We’ll just head to the cafeteria and wait for you there,” Justin says, and I nod my head and walk in front of professor Gomez, who happens to know my mother too. This is just great.

“Mr. Adlawan, are you aware that you are failing my class?” He asks, and I scratch the back of my head and pretend like I wasn’t aware of it even though I actually was.

“I know it’s wrong for me to eavesdrop, but I heard you’re working. I hope this isn’t the reason why your grades are dropping,” he then says, and all I can do is look down at the floor. If he tells my mom about this, I’m dead.

“Your preliminary exams are next week, and I’m afraid that you have to at least score an 85 if you want to pass. You have to dedicate your entire week to studying. You can’t slack off, especially when I heard you’re trying to get a scholarship. With the way you’re going, you might end up repeating this course,” professor Gomez explains to me, finally making me look back at him.

“Sir, please, I can’t repeat this subject again.”

“Then help yourself, Mr. Adlawan,” he immediately answers. “You have all the means to improve. For instance, your senior partner is an honor student. Have you asked him for help?”

Ask that zodiac sign for help? I’d rather fail than do such a thing.

“He’s busy,” I answer instead, but professor Gomez isn’t buying it.

“You haven’t talked to him, have you?” he asks, seeing right through my lie. “Mr. Buan would be more than happy to help you. If you want to pass my class, I suggest you talk to him. If you don’t, I’ll ask him myself.”

“Please don’t!” I immediately say. “I-I’ll talk to him,” I reply in defeat.

Professor Gomez takes a deep breath and nods his head in understanding. “Good. Now go. I believe he’s at the council office. If you don’t want to bother him so much, then might as well ask for some notes. Do everything you can to pass.”

“Yes, sir. I’ll do my best,” I say, bowing my head and finally walking out of the classroom. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I aggressively ruffled my head in frustration.

Just when things at work are starting to go well, I have to worry about school. Maybe Gelo’s right. Maybe I don’t really need to study anymore and just—

No, my mom’s only dream is that I graduate from college. She always believed education would bring you places, so I have to hold on and do well. If I need to talk to that rude zodiac sign just to graduate, then I’ll swallow my pride and pass that test with flying colors. 

“ This is it… “ I whispered to myself as I stood in front of the council office.

I have to talk to Aries now and ask for his help before professor Gomez does. If he talks to him and tells him I’m failing my classes, that would be more embarrassing, and I’ll never have a face to show him.

I haven’t really talked to him again after our little argument. Sometimes we’d bump into each other, and I’d just look away and pretend like I didn’t see him, and sometimes he’d talk to his brother, and I’d pretend to go to the restroom. I don’t even know why I’m ignoring him like this. I guess I just got irritated after what happened.

“ Just suck it up, Dom. He’s still your senior partner. Even though we hate each other, it’s his responsibility to help me, “ I continue to talk to myself before finally knocking on the door.

No one answered, so I knocked again and again. When it seemed like there wasn’t anyone inside, I decided to open the door and check. I was expecting to find an empty room, but to my surprise, Aries was actually there. He had his head down, and it looked like he was sleeping.

“Aries…” I call out, but he doesn’t answer, so I just walk my way inside to check on him.

Aries was sleeping like a baby, and as I got closer, I couldn’t help but stare at his face.

I grab a chair and drag it beside the table that he is sleeping on. The room was quiet as I stared at him, and for a moment, I couldn’t help but smile. He looked calm and less aggressive than the last time I saw him. Maybe it’s because he’s sleeping, but he really is a beautiful man.

“ If you didn’t find me annoying, I would have actually liked you, “ I whisper, slowly reaching out to touch his face. But just when my hands were inches away from him, I immediately pulled myself away.

What the hell am I thinking?

I quickly stood from my seat and turned around, staring at my hand that almost touched him. I clenched my fist and hurriedly went to the door to head out, but as soon as I grabbed the doorknob, I heard a soft voice say…

“ Sorry. “

My body freezes in an instant. And as I slowly turned around, Aries was still lying his head on the table. I thought I was hearing things, but then the voice continued, “I’m sorry…for what I said. Please don’t ignore me because of it.”

end.

(9) Wishful Thinking

I HELD ONTO MY rapidly

beating chest as I pressed my back on the door of the student council room. I didn’t know why I felt that way, and I honestly didn’t even know what this feeling meant. But one thing’s for certain…

I’m in big trouble.

“Adlawan?” A voice called out, making me lift my head up to see who it was. For a second, I thought it would be a professor who was ready to scold me for blocking the council office, but instead, a big guy wearing glasses stood in front of me instead.

It was the vice president, Mark Benedict Ramos, who also happens to be Aries’s closest friend.

“What are you doing here? Do you need anything?” He asks, and I immediately move away from the door and awkwardly laugh it off.

“N-No, my apologies. I was hoping to talk to President Buan, but it seems that he’s sleeping. I didn’t want to disturb him, so I just left.”

“He’s sleeping?”

“But since you’re already here, can you give him a message? At 4:30 PM, that’s my last class for the day. If he’s free, ask him to head to the fountain. I want to ask something from him,” I say, and before Mark could even open his mouth to ask anything, I ran off in complete embarrassment.

“ I’m sorry…for what I said. Please don’t ignore me because of it .“ I remember Aries saying as I continued to run down the hallway like I had committed a crime.

Was he awake that entire time? Was he sleep-talking? If that’s the case, then I’m not the one he was apologizing for, right? There’s just no way he’s saying sorry to me because he literally won’t benefit from doing such a thing.

But what if he was?

No, Dom, it doesn’t matter. Who cares about that guy? We hate him, remember? He finds us annoying, remember? You can’t let that guy fool you just because he was talking nonsense. We’re only going to talk to him because we’re going to ask for his notes. After that, we’re not going to speak to him anymore. We’re not even   going to think about him.

Is what I said, but…

“Dom!” Vicki suddenly shouted in my ear, making my entire body flinch.

“What?!” I angrily ask back, scratching my ear as Vicki and the rest of my friends stand from their seats, making me realize that classes are finally over.

“The professor left five minutes ago, and you didn’t even listen to the entire lecture. Are you sure you’re okay, or do you want us to bring you to the hospital?” Vicki nags, making me sigh and close my empty notebook shut.

Okay, I said that I wasn’t going to be thinking about Aries, but right after saying all that, my mind was suddenly filled with him. I told the vice president to ask him to go to the fountain, so I was feeling way too nervous. I’ve been talking high and mighty earlier, but now I’m acting like a total chicken.

It’s just talking. Why on earth am I so anxious about it?

“Dude, you look like a kid who broke a vase, and you’re anxiously waiting for the consequences to happen,” Justin says while packing his things, making me put my notebook inside my bag as well.

“Who told you I’m going to meet up with Aries?” I stupidly ask back, making them look at me with surprise.

“You’re meeting up with my brother?” Arthur quickly asks–shocked to hear about this new information. Justin, on the other hand, didn’t really care. While Vicki, the most annoying of them all, was looking at me with a grin on her face like she knew something I didn’t.

“So that’s what this is all about,” Vicki teases, nudging my side while she tries her best not to laugh.

“I’m just going to ask for his notes,” I defended as if my life depended on it.

“Wait, you’re actually going to make an effort to study now? What did you do to our friend, you imposter?” Justin then sarcastically jokes, making me hit him with my bag, but he was able to dodge it in time, thanks to his ridiculously inhumane athletic skills. Well, what do you expect from a former varsity player?

“Anyway, since you already know, I’m heading out first,” I tell them before looking at my watch to check the time. And then I took my bag and looked back at the three of them, and as expected, they were looking at me with those disgusting smiles on their faces.

“You’re growing up so fast,” Vicki continues to tease.

“I seriously hate you guys,” I tell them, walking toward the door and showing them my middle finger.

“Oh yeah, Dom, tell him that aunt Venus is going to visit, so he has to go home early,” Arthur then says, and I nod my head before finally walking out of the room.

I walk my way to the fountain right on time, my heart unnecessarily racing because of how nervous I felt. What if he’s not going to come? What if the vice president didn’t tell him about it? Maybe I should have just messaged him in his socials to make sure.

“ It’s fine, Dom. You’re good, “ I whisper to myself as I arrive in front of the large fountain just outside the institute building.

I look around, watching as the students walk by. I couldn’t find Aries anywhere, so I looked down at my watch again. It was already 4:32 PM. Maybe he’s just a little late.

It’s fine. After all, I’m the one who’s asking him for a favor.

I take a deep breath and walk closer to the fountain, putting my hands inside my pocket as I watch the water rising from the pool filled with coins.

Aries was still nowhere to be found, so I decided to pull out a coin from my pocket to make a wish. It felt childish, but there was no harm in doing such a thing, so I clenched the coin in my hand and closed my eyes.

“ I wish I could have a good life, “ I whisper under my breath. “ I wish my mom doesn’t have to work so hard, and I wish I could straighten my life out, so she doesn’t have to worry so much. “

I also wish that whoever it may be…

I hope that I get to meet someone who will show me the universe in a world that feels so small.

“That’s it,” I finish, opening my eyes back and throwing the coin inside the fountain. As soon as the coin drops to the floor, the water from the fountain suddenly stops, surprising me.

“W-wait, does this mean my wish isn’t going to come true?” I complained, but right when the water disappeared in front of me, I suddenly saw a figure standing on the other side of the fountain, looking my way directly.

It was Aries.

My body freezes as the two of us stare into each other. For a moment, I didn’t want to move. I just wanted to stand in my spot and watch him from a distance like this. But as I quietly stood in place, a student suddenly bumped into me, ruining the mood.

“What on earth are you just standing there for?” The guy rudely asks before walking away from me.

“I’m not the one who bumped into you, you asshole!” I shouted at him before looking back at Aries, who was trying not to laugh.

I clear my throat and jog my way to Aries. As soon as I stood in front of him, I ended up showing him my hand. “Hi,” I tell him, and Aries looks down at my hand before slowly grabbing it so he can shake it.

“Hi,” he replies.

I pull my hand away from him and scratch the back of my head. I should actually be the first one to say something since I’m the one who asked him to come here, but for some reason, I couldn’t say a single word.

Will he open up about what happened during lunch break? Will he tell me to pretend like I didn’t hear anything, or will he pretend as if nothing happened?

“Mark told me that you wanted to ask something from me,” Aries says instead, breaking the awkward tension between us, which I heavily caused.

“Yes, yes, I should thank him for relying on the message,” I reply, trying to think of the right words to sound less stupid.

“So what is it then?” Aries finally asks.

“Oh yeah, right. I was just, you know, hoping to get…I mean, borrow…some of your notes from when you were a first year, or maybe old test papers. I’m kinda having a hard time, and Professor Gomez suggested that you might be able to help, especially when the exams are close by. Of course, no pressure. Maybe you already threw them out, so it’s fine too,” I finally say.

Aries doesn’t say anything for a while, so I thought he would decline me, but he surprisingly doesn’t and tells me instead, “I think I hid them all at home. Will it be alright if I give them to you tomorrow?”

“Yes, of course!” I enthusiastically answer.

“Well then, I guess that’s—”

“What time is your last class tomorrow?” Aries suddenly asks before I can end my sentence.

“Oh, about 3 PM. But if you want to, you can give them to your brother. We’re going to have the same classes tomorrow anyway,” I suggested, but Aries shook his head to decline. I thought he simply didn’t want to bother his brother, but he added…

“Let’s just meet up at 3 PM at the library in the Arts and Science building.”

“Library?”

“The exams are next week. I’ll make a schedule of the subjects I can teach you, and then we can have a practice test on the weekend. You should send me your class schedule too. That would greatly help,” Aries explains, making me furrow my brows in confusion.

“I’m sorry, but…what?”

“We only have a week left, so let’s do our best. We’ll meet up at 3:00 PM at the library, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow,” Aries tells me before finally walking away.

As soon as Aries was gone, my jaw instantly dropped. I was only going to borrow his notes. Then why on earth am I getting a one-on-one tutorial session with him?! I got so startled that I didn’t even get to tell him about his aunt visiting.

“What the hell is even going on?!”

…

“Hey, Mr. Sunday, you are honestly getting worse every time I see you. Are you not sleeping at all?” Vicki asked while we were walking down the hallway. Arthur and Justin had other classes, and since Vicki and I share the same major, the two of us are forced to stick together like glue.

“Aries is going to tutor me after classes,” I reveal to her, and Vicki immediately stops walking.

“I’m sorry, what?! Aries Buan? The president of the student council? That Aries Buan?” Vicki asks, making me pull her to the side so we wouldn’t end up bothering anyone—and so no one would accidentally hear us talking about him.

“Yes, so quiet down,” I say. “I was only asking for notes, but then he started talking about meeting up at the library, and now he’s going to tutor me. I even sent him my schedule last night.”

“Wait, isn’t this a big deal then? You told me last time that he finds you annoying. Why on earth would he go the extra mile to help you if that’s the case? It’s not like you asked him to,” Vicki points out, which makes sense. But I was thinking about that too all night, so I have a possible explanation for it.

“Maybe it’s just the responsible student in him. I’m still his freshman partner. If I fail my exams, that will make him look bad.”

“Oh, come on, I don’t think that’s what he thinks,” Vicki insisted. “Maybe he’s just trying to make it right with you. Maybe he realized that the things he said in the past were kinda shitty, so now he’s trying to make up for it.”

“Or he’s just trying to be nice.”

“It’s the same thing!”

“No, it’s not. Helping me with my studies because he wants to make up for what he said is different from being nice. The intentions are different.”

“Then who the fuck cares about the intentions? You’re going to get tutored by the smartest senior in our institute. Just get the benefits and go,” Vicki says, patting my back and walking off.

I sigh and quickly follow beside her to head to our next class together.

“You know, maybe President Aries is just misunderstood. Maybe you two have more things in common than you might expect. This tutor thing might help you two get along better,” she then tells me, grabbing my arm and holding onto it.

“Please, you said the same thing my mom did,” I reply, and Vicki shrugs her shoulder.

The two of us went to our classes as usual. This time though, I tried to listen attentively and wrote down actual notes so there would at least be something written in my notebook before I met up with Aries.

After classes, we went to the cafeteria and met with Justin and Arthur to eat lunch. Justin was complaining about not having enough friends in his major. At the same time, Arthur scolded me for not telling Aries about his aunt because Aries ended up going home late and missing her entirely yesterday.

Lunch came by fast, and finally, after a couple more classes, I now found myself standing in front of the library, holding onto the straps of my bag like a kid.

“ You can do this, Dom. I believe in you, “ I whisper to myself as a sign of encouragement. After taking a deep breath and nodding my head, I finally went inside the library that was way too big.

I tapped my I.D. on the scanner and walked around so I could find Aries. The library was filled with students, but it was quiet. Back in my old school, our library was as small as a classroom, and it was always noisy. I guess the librarian just got tired of scolding them and just let them be.

“Maybe I should have sent him a message and asked him where he is.”

I walked past a couple more bookshelves until I arrived at the very end of the library. I was about to give up and find the courage to message him instead, but right on cue, I ended up spotting him.

Aries was near a window, sitting alone on a long table with a pile of notebooks in front of him. The sun was directly shining onto him, which was so dramatic because it ended up looking like a movie scene.

I guess that’s just the Aries in him. That zodiac sign tends to grab attention, after all.

“Aries,” I call out, and Aries removes his eyes from the book he was reading to look at me. The moment our eyes met, my heart skipped a beat. This guy really is handsome.

“Dom.”

I smiled and walked towards him. I placed my bag on the other seat before sitting on the chair in front of him. “Hi,” I say, and Aries nods his head to acknowledge me.

“How were classes?” He suddenly asks. The question was honestly so simple, but it was also unexpected that I wasn’t able to think of an immediate response.

“I-It was…fine,” I manage to say.

“Well then, that’s good to hear,” Aries says before handing me a piece of paper. I didn’t know what it was when I first saw it, but when I stared at it longer, I realized that it was a schedule, or rather, a study plan.

“I made this for you last night. Since you sent me your class schedule, I made a study plan. During breaks, you can read through some of the notes. Don’t worry. I already arranged that as well. I also added the time when we should meet up,” Aries explained while I stared at the study plan in amazement.

The plan was so neat that I couldn’t help but be impressed. But what’s more impressive is the fact that it’s handwritten. He could have just printed this out, but he didn’t.

“You have one major subject too, right? I can’t really teach you that, but I borrowed some notes from my friend. I think that can help you.”

Aries hands me a couple of notebooks and some old test papers. I skimmed through one of the notebooks and couldn’t help but be even more impressed. So this is what an honor student’s notebook looks like? Mine is filled with doodles!

“Wait here. I’ll look for some books we can burrow,” Aries then says, immediately standing from his seat and walking away.

While I waited for him, I continued looking through the notebooks.

His notebooks were still neat and clean despite having been written three years ago. There were even pictures and additional definitions. This alone could help me a lot, but then I noticed that there were sticky notes attached to some of the pages.

I thought they were extra notes but to my surprise…

They were actually messages.

     Dom,

     Read this first before lesson 3.

   Dom,

     I suggest you memorize this part and then read through the next lesson. It will be easier that way.

     Dom,

     These notes were incomplete because I got sick at that time, but there’s a book that can also help you with this.

While I was reading the messages, I couldn’t help but feel extremely touched. Aries took the time to make me a study plan and arranged his notes even though he could have just let me borrow it and called it a day.

Maybe Vicki is right. Maybe Aries is just really misunderstood.

Maybe…

Just maybe…

We’re not as different as I thought we were.

end.

(10) Brains & Pockets

I STARE AT THE sticky notes on the notebook with a stupid smile on my face. The way he wrote my name made me feel happy for no apparent reason. They were just short sentences, but I acted as if he had written me a long, sentimental letter.

“Why did he put so much effort? Now I feel guilty for thinking he’s a total jerk.”

I continued to stare at his notebook, skimming through the pages that were filled with organized notes. While going through the notebook, I stopped when I noticed that there was a section that had different handwriting. It was notes of an entire lesson, and at the end, there was a little message that said, ’ get well soon .’

Did someone write all this for him?

“You ready?” Aries suddenly asks, returning to our table, holding three different books. He drops the books in front of me, almost making me stare at them with wide eyes. They were History, Earth Science, and Basic Algebra books, and they were all in great condition.

“I already borrowed them. You can bring these home and return them to me after the exams next week,” Aries tells me as he heads back to his seat.

“I can take these home?” I confusingly ask, grabbing one of the books and staring at them.

“Yes, of course. Have you never borrowed books from the library before?” Aries then asks me, making me laugh awkwardly.

“The library we had in school had limited books, and we weren’t allowed to burrow them. I never owned a book, either. My mom just burrowed from her co-teachers,” I explain, trying to make light out of it, but Aries suddenly looked guilty for asking the question.

I didn’t want him to feel bad about it, and I didn’t want to sound pathetic either, so I started laughing it off to make him feel better. “Besides, it didn’t really matter. I would have just lost it if I had one. I hated studying.”

I continued to laugh, and Aries had to clear his throat so I could finally stop.

“Well, you can bring these home,” he repeated. “Just don’t damage them or write anything on them.”

“Got it.”

“Anyway, we should start. If you look at the study plan I made, we’re going to work on Algebra first,” Aries says while reaching for something in his backpack. I thought they were going to be more notes, but to my surprise, they were test sheets.

“This is your diagnostic test. These are items from chapters 1 to 6, chapters that I’m assuming professor Pascual was able to teach. Don’t worry. These are mostly refreshers since they were taught in high school. Answer this test first so I’ll know where we should focus on,” Aries explains, handing me the sheets.

“Did you…make these yourself?” I finally ask, and Aries clears his throat again and decides not to answer my question.

“I’ll give you forty minutes to answer everything,” he tells me instead while looking at his watch. “You can begin now.”

I quickly grabbed my bag and searched for the single pen I had inside. When Aries saw me, he sighed and handed me his own pen instead. I thanked him for it and eventually started answering the test I’m assuming he made himself.

The test contained items that I was familiar with, but at the same time, the majority of them were problems I knew nothing about. Instead of panicking, I took a deep breath and started filling up the ones I knew like I was some genius.

I was worried that Aries would be staring at me the entire time, but while I was answering the test, he pulled out a laptop from his bag instead. Right after, he took a pair of glasses and wore them, and that was the moment I got completely distracted.

I felt like I was in some rom-com series, and Aries was one of the main characters while I was sitting here as an extra. How can he look twice as attractive just because of glasses? How is the word fair?

“Thirty minutes,” Aries suddenly reminded me, snapping me back to my senses.

I quickly looked down at the test again and started mentally computing for items that obviously needed a scientific calculator. Aries must have noticed me again because he sighed and handed me a calculator this time.

“Thank you,” I say, and Aries nods his head and starts typing something down on his laptop.

“What are you working on?”

“Our final thesis.”

“You’re already starting with your thesis?”

“We just got our topic approved last week, so I’m already working on the references we’ll need so I can start with the introduction,” Aries explains, making me nod my head while I continue to stare at him.

“What’s your topic about?”

“You only have twenty-five minutes left,” he answers instead, and I quickly look back at the test paper again.

It took a while and a lot of guessing, but I was able to answer some of the items while simultaneously trying to figure out how to properly use the scientific calculator.

When the forty-minute mark was over, Aries pushed his laptop aside and started checking my paper. I was very confident that I wasn’t going to pass this diagnostic test, but thankfully Aries didn’t look disappointed by the results.

“Looks like we have a lot to work on…” were the only words he told me before taking the algebra book so he could start teaching me the lessons one by one.

Aries was patient with me and was quick to grab my attention whenever I lost concentration. He would ask me a question that would bring me back to focus. Sometimes he’d even ask random questions like what color pen he used so he’d know I was still listening.

Ever since I started studying, this was the first time I genuinely started learning something. It did not only boost my respect for this outstanding senior, but it made me realize that he will definitely be an outstanding teacher in the future as well.

When I become a senior, will I ever be like him? Will the freshman student who I’ll be partnered with be as amazed by me as I am by him now?

“Let’s try to answer this part again.”

After two hours of one-on-one tutoring, Aries gave me another test to answer. This time, I knew how to use a scientific calculator. But more importantly, I knew how to solve the problems when I saw the items. I couldn’t help but speed through it with more certainty.

“I’ll give you another forty minutes,” Aries tells me, and I nod my head and continue answering the test.

Aries started working on his thesis again while I solved the problems. While answering, the light outside the window suddenly changed, making me realize that the sun was already setting and the library was no longer crowded compared to when we first got here.

We’ve been in this library for at least three hours now, and my ass has been hurting from sitting for so long, but I didn’t want to complain because Aries wasn’t complaining, and I didn’t want to sound like a spoiled brat.

For three hours, we only worked on my basic algebra, which was a subject most students should find the easiest in college, but I’m not like most students…

I’m actually stupid.

“Thank you for doing this for me, Aries. I really do appreciate it,” I say while I am still working on my test, not removing my eyes from the paper while my hands write down the numbers.

Aries doesn’t say anything, but then he closes his laptop, making me look back at him to see his reaction.

“I was actually worried…” he suddenly opens up while adjusting his glasses.

“Worried? About what?”

“That I wasn’t reliable enough. That’s why you haven’t asked for my help,” he explains to me, surprising me because I didn’t know he was thinking of such a thing.

I honestly wanted to tell him I didn’t ask for his help because I was angry at him. Who would even ask for help from the person who would constantly tell you that you’re annoying? I still have my pride left in me, after all.

“I was just shy, that’s all. Don’t overthink it,” I lied.

“Shy? You?”

“Why? Am I not the type?”

“No. I was certain you didn’t ask for my help because you were mad,” Aries suddenly revealed, and the shock on my face suddenly made him laugh. It was the first time I saw him laugh like that, so I completely ignored the fact that he read me like a book.

“W-Well, you can’t blame me,” I defended. “For a long time, I thought you found me annoying because I announced during the orientation that I’m gay. I thought you were homophobic or something.”

“Definitely not,” he quickly replies, catching me off guard because he suddenly looks extremely serious about this new topic.

“That day…I admired you greatly, Dom. To have such confidence to be true to yourself is something that I give my absolute respect to. I admit that there are times when I find you annoying, but it’s never because of your gender identity,” he reveals, leaving me speechless.

The two of us became quiet after his strong statement. This was the perfect time to respond, but instead, I nodded my head and looked down at my test paper, answering the items and pretending like I didn’t hear anything.

Aries didn’t say anything either, so I just finished the test in silence.

As the clock continued ticking, more students left the library until both of us were the only ones left inside. The sun had already set, and the campus lights eventually welcomed us just outside the window. The librarian told us we had an hour left before we were asked to leave, and thankfully I was already finished answering the test.

Aries removes his glasses and checks my paper for the second time. And compared to the score I had on the first one, a smile escaped from his face when he realized I had passed.

“Looks like you really did listen. Well done,” he says, and I felt like a child who received a star from his teacher because I couldn’t stop smiling.

“Thank you for today,” I genuinely tell him as the two of us start packing our things.

“We’ll meet again tomorrow and work on your History. Just remember to check the study plan that I gave you,” he tells me, and I nod my head as I finally get off my seat, stretching my arms as if I have just finished a marathon.

Aries got up as well and looked back at me with a tired expression on his face. “Where do you live?” He then asks me.

“Why? Are you going to take me home?” I jokingly asked back, but I was left dumbfounded because Aries nodded in reply.

“I have my car with me. I can drive you home if you like.”

Seriously? Isn’t gas really expensive right now? How rich is this guy, anyway?

“I was just joking,” I quickly tell him. “I appreciate the offer, but it’s fine. I’m a big boy now. I can go home by myself. You take care.”

Aries looked like he was going to say something, but he took a deep breath and nodded his head instead before finally going our separate ways.

My relationship with Aries improved every time I had a tutoring session with him. Of course, we’re not like best of friends now. We don’t send messages to each other, and we don’t eat lunch together. We only meet at the library and spend the rest of the afternoon studying until the sun sets.

I also followed the study plan he made, which was a big help. My mom was even surprised when she saw me reading a book at home. She said it was the first time she ever saw me actually study for something.

To be honest with you, as cliché as it may sound, I was starting to see the beauty of learning because of my senior partner. I was more attentive in class now because I could finally understand what the professors were talking about. I answered the questions correctly, and I was starting to realize that I might actually be able to survive my campus life.

But there’s just one other trial I have to face other than studying. Because as a college student in a school like LU, you don’t only need the brains, but you also need…

“Mr. Adlawan, are you aware that your preliminary exams are next week?” My English professor suddenly asks in the middle of the lecture, making me remove my eyes from my notebook-which was no longer filled with doodles but with actual notes instead.

“Yes, I am very much aware,” I answer, and the professor walks towards me and stares at me from head to toe, making me stare back at her with my eyebrows furrowed.

“Then why are you still not wearing your proper uniform?”

“Pardon?”

“Your uniform. It is in the university’s rules that the students must wear their complete uniforms on the examination dates. Some professors might not let you take the test if you’re still wearing jeans. Make sure you have one by next week,” she tells me, making me take a deep and long breath.

As I said, to be able to survive college, you don’t only need the brains but the pockets too. And for a 19-year-old boy like me who is earning a minimum wage as a cleaner in a gay bar, that will be a huge problem.

A very huge problem indeed.

…

“Dom,” Aries suddenly calls out, making me blink and realize that I was actually at the library, studying Humanities with my senior partner, who was staring at me with curious eyes. “You’ve been losing focus all afternoon. Are you okay?” Aries asks.

I should feel a little thrilled that president Aries Buan himself is actually worried about me, but I pretend to be fine and laugh it off like I always do.

“I was just thinking about the exams since it’s next week,” I explain, and I’m not really sure if Aries saw through my bullshit, but he just nodded his head and didn’t comment about it.

“Well, you still have to answer a few tests, and then-”

“Actually, can we finish early?” I quickly tell him.

“Well, of course we can. I’m not forcing you to stay here for hours if you don’t want to,” Aries says, which is a relief because I no longer have to explain my reason.

I look down at my phone and check the clock. If I leave now, I still have time to help clean at the club. I’ll just tell Aries that I need to go home early, so he doesn’t suspect anything.

“I think I need to-”

“Go?” Aries finishes for me, catching me off guard. “If you have urgent matters to attend to, you can go. Just take the test papers home and answer them when you have the time.”

“Really?”

“I told you, I’m not forcing you to stay. You can go if you like,” Aries insisted, so I nodded my head and cleaned the table before shoving them all inside my bag.

“I’ll see you next week,” I say, running out of the library before Aries can even say anything.

I won’t be able to follow the study plan tomorrow because I wasn’t honest about my part-time job with Aries. I’ll have to try to read some notes as much as I can after my shift. But the biggest problem isn’t really the studying, but the uniform. I can’t believe I might not be able to take the exam just because of some stupid clothes. I don’t want to waste Aries’s efforts just because of that reason.

I don’t have enough money to buy a uniform because I bought a scientific calculator yesterday, which I was not expecting would be that expensive.

Earlier, Arthur offered to give me his extra uniform, but once again, my pride got the best of me, and I ended up declining the kind gesture. The worst part is I had to lie to Vicki and the others and tell them that I didn’t have my uniform yet because it was still being tailored.

Why is it so difficult to admit that I’m broke? I’m pretty sure my friends aren’t going to judge me for it. I guess my confidence can only reach a certain extent.

“I have no choice. I have to ask for money from mama,” I say as I pull my phone out from my pocket so I can dial his number.

Mom’s phone rings several times, but she doesn’t answer it. I tried to call her again, but then she sent me a message saying: I’ll be home late today. I was given a few loads that I have to finish soon. There are leftovers in the fridge. Just heat it up when you get home.

Okay, I can’t ask mom for more money. My conscience won’t allow me. She already had to work for extra classes so she could pay for my first semester. If I ask more, she’d definitely do everything she can to look for more money. I can’t allow her to do that.

Why did I have to attend a private university anyway?!

Oh yeah, I was way too stupid to enroll in a state university!

I’m so useless!

“Hey, Dom! Did something happen to you on your way here? Did you get mugged?” Big Joe-the club’s bouncer-suddenly tells me, making me realize I was already standing in front of the club.

Should I ask Joe for money instead? No, I’m not close enough to him to just causally ask him for money.

“Is madam Scarlet in her dressing room?” I ask instead.

“The madam? Yeah, she arrived not so long ago.”

“Thanks.”

I went inside the club, greeted the other employees, and went straight to madam Scarlet’s room.

I can’t ask mom for more money, and I can’t ask Gelo either because that asshole is as broke as I am. And I can’t ask my other friends because I’m too much of a coward to admit that I have no money to buy something like a stupid uniform.

“Madam Scarlet. It’s me, Dom,” I announce from outside her room.

I waited for her to answer, but then the door opened, revealing Gin-the head bartender, who also happens to be the co-owner of the club.

“Oh, sorry, did I disturb you?” I immediately say, and Gin just chuckles.

“No, you’re fine. You can go on ahead,” Gin replies, patting my back and walking away.

I awkwardly scratched the back of my head as I walked inside the room. Like last time, madam Scarlet was wearing this sexy lingerie. She was sitting in front of her vanity, putting on makeup and looking beautiful as ever.

“Dom darling! Gin and I were just talking about you,” Scarlet cheerfully says while putting eyeshadow on. “So, how may I help you? Are you having trouble with your job?”

“N-No, not at all, madam Scarlet. I came here to ask if I can…if I can ask for an advance payment? I need to buy a school uniform,” I explain, and Scarlet puts her brush down to look at me through the reflection in the mirror.

For a second, I thought she would say no, but then she took a deep breath and gave me a sweet and soft smile. “Oh, Dom, of course. And please, stop with the advance payment thing. How much is the uniform? I’ll pay for it.”

“W-Wait, what? Are you serious?”

Scarlet smiles and pulls out a wallet from her bag. She then pulls out a couple of bills and hands them to me. “Here. You should buy a new pair of shoes too.”

I’m going to seriously start sobbing. Madam Scarlet is way too kind for this world.

“T-Thank you…” I say, taking the money with trembling hands, trying to ensure my emotion doesn’t explode in front of my boss.

“You know Dom, you remind me a lot of myself. When I was young, my family was poor. I had to work at a very young age, picking trash and working at a junk shop. It took a while for me to get a chance to work at a club, thanks to a friend who was kind enough to teach me how to perform on stage. Eventually, I got the opportunity to work in Japan. It was hard, but I swallowed it all, and I was able to earn enough to open my own club here,” madam Scarlet suddenly shares, surprising me because I didn’t expect her to open up like this.

“I’m doing well now, but my only regret is that I wasn’t able to go to school. That’s why I admire you, Dom. Gin and I really do,” madam Scarlet continues to say.

“Please don’t patronize me,” I shyly reply, making Scarlet chuckle.

“My point is life doesn’t always hand us everything on a platter, but others might be able to give us a spoon. As I mentioned earlier, Gin and I were talking about you. We believe that we can give you an opportunity to earn more in this club, but you have to be willing,” madam Scarlet then reveals, surprising me.

“An opportunity…to earn more?” I ask, and Scarlet nods her head to confirm it.

“That’s right. Dom, what do you think about working as a table employee?”

end.

(11) Mister Sunday

THERE WAS A STRONG scent of perfume and cigarettes when I walked inside the employee’s dressing room. Jack—who’s also one of the table employees—shows me around so I could be familiar with the place.

A few minutes ago, Madam Scarlet asked me if I was willing to work as a table employee or a TE. When she saw me hesitating, she told me I could be a stage employee too, but there was no way I’d dance on a pole and look like an idiot.

I was a bit hesitant at first since, as a floor cleaner, I could see how some customers treated them.

Thankfully Scarlet wasn’t forceful, but she carefully explained to me the salary I’d be getting, which was higher than I expected. There’s also the commission I’ll get that’s based on the number of customers I’ll be able to table. Then there’s the tip, which she explained will all directly go inside my pocket. This means the money I’ll get from the customers are mine and mine alone.

The offer was seriously tempting, but this decision was harder than one might expect.

There is a vast difference between cleaning the tables and sitting on one. Madam Scarlet told me about the benefits, but she also told me the negative sides when it comes to this job. One is that I have to drink alcohol every time I go to work. It’s not required, but it’s highly encouraged that we take the drinks that are being offered to us by the customers because most of them will drop you if you’re quote-unquote, “ a bad sport. “

Another thing is that customers will definitely touch you, which is something that I’m not very excited about. As a cleaner, I can see all sorts of things. I can see how people react to our dancers, to our TE, and even to our waiters. Since they spend money in our bar, they think they own the people in it, which was something that I didn’t like at all.

Considering all these factors, I was ready to decline, but then Madam Scarlet asked me if I wanted to try at least once. She reassured me that if I didn’t accept the offer, she was not going to fire me as a cleaner. She also explained that the other employees would definitely look after me if things went bad.

And so, as you have already guessed, I accepted the one-night trial. If I end up liking the job, I’ll take it. If I don’t, then I’m fine cleaning tables and washing toilets.

“These are the clothes,” Jack explained when we arrived at the section of the room was had hangers of different types of clothing. “Sometimes we have themes, so all the employees are required to match the theme. But most of the time, we wear what we want to wear. Just whatever you find comfortable.”

“I don’t have any clothes,” I explained to him, and Jack chuckled.

“You don’t have to. You can borrow one here. Just find what fits you best,” Jack then tells me.

“Alright. But what am I actually supposed to do?” I then ask him.

“Well, most customers come here with a TE already in mind, so if you get picked, you’ll get tabled. But those are mostly for our regular customers. For newcomers, you’ll have to stand at the entrance with the others and hope your face is enough to get picked,” Jack explains, and I automatically turned my head to the mirror to stare at my reflection, checking if I really was attractive or not.

“Of course, looks aren’t the only thing you’ll need to get a customer. You have to be socially confident too. Since you’re going to sit at a table with them, you have to be able to interact with them as well. Start a conversation and make them feel welcome,” Jack explains while looking through the clothes.

“We welcome different customers every day. Some customers are assholes, but we also get customers who just want to find themselves and experiment, so it’s our job to give them a good time. Some keep their identities hidden, so this is the only place they can come out of the closet and be themselves,” Jack says as he pulls a red coat from the rack, placing it over me to see if it fits me or not.

“I never really thought of it that way,” I honestly reply since I’ve always thought that the customers are a bunch of nasty and horny pigs.

“Oh, you’ll meet a bunch of those here. Sometimes they just want to speak to someone, and that’s fine too,” Jack says with a smile before handing me the red coat that has matching red pants.

“This leads to my other point. Never, and I mean never, expose a customer’s identity. If you meet someone here, be it a celebrity or a businessman, never mention anything about them in public. Everything that happens in the Red Light Bar stays in the Red Light Bar. Do you hear me?” Jack asks with a much more serious expression, making me gulp.

“Y-Yes,” I answer, and the serious look on Jack’s face instantly turns into a smile again.

“Alright, we’ll head to the makeup chair so we can fix you up,” he tells me. I stared at the clothes in my hand and looked around. I was looking for a place to change privately, but when I turned my head, I was suddenly welcomed by a bunch of naked men, making me realize that I was supposed to change here.

Jack was waiting for me to change clothes, but I wasn’t confident enough to strip in front of someone I didn’t know that well, so I cleared my throat and awkwardly asked him, “C-Can you…turn around for a second?”

Jack was surprised by my request, but then he started laughing. Thankfully he still turned around, finally making me remove my pants and shirt.

“Since we’re already on the topic of confidentiality, you have to think of a stage name. We can’t have the customers calling you by your real name now, can we?” Jack asked while he was facing the wall.

“Stage name…” I wondered to myself as I put the red pants on. “How about Zero? That seems like a cool name.”

“Are you serious?” Jack asks back, laughing at me again. “Think of something more personal to you. It could be your favorite color, character, or maybe even scent. If you still can’t think of anything, think of a porn name. Most of the employees here do that technique.”

I put on the shirt next and start buttoning them one by one. While doing so, Jack turns back to me again. He stares at me for a while, and then he smiles satisfyingly and starts doing the rest of the buttons for me.

“So, you got any ideas?”

“Let’s see. A name that’s personal to me…” I say, thinking of random words that might fit. I thought of colors, scents, and even shows I enjoyed watching. But after a few more minutes of brainstorming, I finally found the perfect name to use.

“Sunday,” I announce, making Jack look back at me while his hands were still buttoning my shirt. “The name I’m going to use is Sunday.”

“Your name is already Domingo.”

“Which is why Sunday is perfect. It’s different, but it’s still me,” I explained like I was proposing a thesis title. Jack stares at me again, and I thought he was going to keep laughing at the idea like the last one, but then he smiles and nods his head in agreement.

“Then Sunday it is,” he says, almost making me jump like a kid.

“Now, Mr. Sunday, please follow me while we get your makeup ready. We only have a few hours left before the doors open.”

And so, Jack and the other employees started fixing me up. One was waxing my hair, someone else was cleaning my eyebrows, and another one was even giving me a quick pedicure.

After an hour of preparation, the TE gathered around me and stared at me from head to toe.

“Jack, it looks like this new guy’s going to steal your title,” one of the employees commented, making Jack laugh.

“Earlier, you looked like a tired college student who just wanted to give up in life…” Jack suddenly says, almost making me gasp because of how personal that comparison felt. “But now…you’re a fucking man, Sunday. You look like you you can make a straight man gay.”

“I d-don’t know how to feel about that compliment,” I reply, making everyone around me laugh.

I’ve been working with the floor employees a couple of times now, but for some reason, the table employees have a lot more positive energy in them. It’s almost like they’re treating me as their little brother.

“Wait, before we get out there, have you told him about the…thing?” One of the employees asked Jack, making me furrow my brows in confusion.

“What thing?”

“Oh, right, the thing. You see, Sunday, in the Red Light Bar, we don’t give a fuck about who you are, so whatever happens in your personal life has nothing to do with your job here,” Jack explains, but I still don’t know where this was going.

When they saw how confused I still was, one of the guys stepped in and explained, “Basically, the bar isn’t a brothel. We’re not prostitutes, so anything sexual does not apply here. We can be flirty, but we don’t suddenly start giving our customers a hand job.”

“But…there’s a but,” Jack quickly adds. “We can’t help but find some of our customers attractive. Some find us attractive too, and when the attraction is mutual, we bill out, which means you and the customer will head out of the bar a do the deed.”

“Do the deed?”

“Have sex!” Another guy quickly says. “You work in a gay bar but act like a virgin.”

My face heated up, and I immediately started scratching the back of my head in embarrassment. The TEs were confused at first, but when they finally got the idea, they instantly looked back at me like I was a baby who had just gotten out of their mom’s womb.

“Holy hell. He’s too innocent for this job.”

“He’s practically a baby!”

“Okay, all of you, settle down!” Jack shouts as the TEs start talking amongst each other. When everyone was now quiet, Jack took a deep breath and looked back at me seriously. “Alright, forget everything I said about the bill out, “ Jack says as he shows me two fingers. “This is what you have to remember. This will save your life.”

“You mean your…fingers?”

Jack takes a deep breath and massages his temple in frustration, but he doesn’t get mad at me and tries to explain everything as patiently as he can. “Gin and the other employees know what these signals mean. Lift your index finger and subtly touch any part of your neck. This means you feel uncomfortable, so we’ll closely watch your customer until you two finish. But if you lift two fingers, your index, and middle, and use that to touch any part of your neck, that means you need immediate help. We will take your customer away with no hesitation.”

Wow, so they had those signals. I never even noticed it.

“Now, are you ready?” Jack then asks me.

I took a deep breath and touched my chest before finally nodding my head.

“Alright, Table Employees! Let’s go!”

Jack pats my back, and every one of us starts walking out of the dressing room. As soon as we got out, the red lights turned on, and the music started blaring. Customers rush inside, and Jack and the other table employees immediately welcome the regular customers with open arms.

I was used to waiting at the side, waiting for people who’d spill their drink, but now that I’m actually here to talk to customers, I couldn’t help but feel nervous.

It’s okay, Dom. This is just a trial, just a one-time thing. Suppose you can’t do it; back out now. No one’s forcing you to do this.

“Sunday!” someone calls out, immediately making me turn my head to see Gin waving at me at the bar area.

I smile and rush towards him.

“You look rather dashing. You remind me of my younger self,” Gin compliments, making me laugh. “You nervous?” He then asks, his voice loud so I could hear him over the loud music.

“A little.”

“Well, don’t be. Like the customers, enjoy yourself. We’ll watch over you no matter what. Just make sure you don’t put your guard down,” Gin tells me, and I nod my head and take one last deep breath before heading to the entrance where the others are.

The other TEs were outside the bar, calling for passersby to come inside. It helps that we’re on a street that has lines of bars and clubs, so people who would usually walk by are those who are looking for a good time.

“Hey, handsome, wanna have some fun? Come visit our club and have a few drinks with us…”

“We have everything you’re looking for. Come on.”

The others were literal veterans. They took people’s attention and got them to listen, while some even got them to enter the bar. I, on the other hand, stood like a complete log on the side like I was a lost child. I tried approaching this one guy who was with his friends, but I couldn’t even open my mouth.

I’m always the confident one. Everyone knows that, but this situation left me in a complete loop. I was too timid, and the worst part is I was afraid someone I knew in college would see me.

Part-time jobs aren’t a problem in school since we literally have schoolmates who work full-time. But imagine if I see a professor here, or maybe even Vicki and the other guys. That’s going to ruin me for sure. It’s fine if I worked somewhere else, but I’m literally standing on the sidewalk waiting to get picked up by random strangers.

“Hey…” Someone suddenly calls out, making me turn my head.

I thought it would be Jack or one of the other employees, but to my surprise, this tall man appeared before me instead. He was wearing casual clothes and a pair of dark shades. And if I looked closer, I could make a wild guess that he’s at least in his forties.

The guy was a little intimidating, and for a second, I almost ran away from him, but then he removed his black shades and asked me, “Are you working at this bar here?”

“Yes?” I ask instead of answering him, making him laugh.

“Well, aren’t you going to sit me at a table?” He then asks, and in an instant, my eyes widen in shock and excitement.

Am I seriously going to table someone on my first day?

“Oh yes, please, follow me.”

I quickly went inside as the tall man followed behind me. Jack and the others saw me and even gave me a thumbs-up while one of the guys led us to our table.

Working as a floor employee myself, I saw how the others worked. I know what they do, how they act, and how they handle any sort of situation that might happen throughout the night. Of course, that doesn’t make me some kind of expert, but at least I know the basics.

“Please take a seat,” I tell him, and the customer nods his head and sits down. Right after, I took a seat beside him as well, and then Henney, one of the waiters, went to our table to hand him the menu.

While he was choosing the food and drinks he’ll be having for the night, I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves. I can’t fuck this up. Madam Scarlet gave me the opportunity to do this job, so I have to ensure I do well.

“So, what’s your name?” The customer suddenly asks, making me flinch. It looks like he’s done ordering. I didn’t even notice that Henney had already left.

“You look way too nervous. You’re making me nervous too, you know,” he tells me, and I awkwardly laugh in response.

“Sorry, it’s my first day,” I honestly tell him, making him laugh again. At least he’s not the scary type. There are customers here who look like actual gangsters and don’t even respond to the employees. I’m glad this guy’s a bit friendly.

“My name is Jonah, like the one in the bible, see?” The customer, named Jonah, introduces himself as he takes out his wallet and shows me his ID. I wasn’t really sure if he was showing me his name or if he was showing me that he’s actually a cop, but I guess I should just keep my guard up like what Gin said.

“How about you?” He asks.

I looked around the bar and saw Gin staring at us. When I knew he was looking, I looked back at Jonah and told him, “Sunday. You can call me Sunday.”

“That’s a very interesting name.”

“Yeah, I feel like it is,” I reply, making him laugh again.

“You’re just my type, Sunday. I hope you can make this worth my time,” he says with a mischievous smile, making me gulp.

And so, my first night as a table employee officially began.

Drinks were served, and my first customer and I started chatting. I was sitting a few inches away from him, but he didn’t mind. During the first hour, Jonah ordered a few beers for himself. The next two hours, he started ordering some for me too. Thankfully I was able to get my alcohol tolerance trained because of Gelo, who introduced me to alcohol when I was twelve.

Jonah wasn’t the chatty type, but he was a heavy drinker, which was great because this is how the bar earns the most. Other than finding out that he’s a cop who secretly spends his free time at a gay bar, I knew nothing about him. He would ask me a couple of questions from time to time, but I kept my answers as vague as possible.

To be honest, everything was going fine.

Well, fine until…

“Sunday, you know you’re a really handsome guy. When I saw you outside, I really wanted to grab the opportunity,” he tells me before chugging another bottle of beer.

“T-thank you, I’m flattered,” I say, laughing as I take a sip of my own drink. My cheeks were already red, and I could feel my body heating up, but I wasn’t giving in. As long as I can get him to keep spending more, I’m good to go.

“Anyway, since I’ve been enjoying myself so far…here. You can have this,” Jonah pulls something out from his pocket and hands it over to me. I didn’t know what it was at first, but when I looked at my hand, my jaw instantly dropped. It was actually a bunch of bills, bills that were enough to buy me at least five more school uniforms.

“T-thank you so much. This means a lot,” I genuinely say, clenching the money in my hand. This is literally more than the amount of money I’ve earned from cleaning toilets. And this is only a tip.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just thankful that you accompanied me tonight. It’s been a while since I’ve let loose,” he tells me.

I was supposed to thank him again for his generosity, but just as I was about to open my mouth, I suddenly felt a heavy hand touch my thighs, and at that moment, that very moment, everything around me stopped.

end.

(12) Dirty Uniform

THERE WERE RED LIGHTS everywhere,   and the music was blaring in my ears. Everyone was busy as the employees were dancing on stage like their rent was due. The bar area was surrounded by drunk customers who didn’t care how much they were spending, while I—a first-time TE—was frozen in my seat as a heavy hand touched my inner thigh.

Despite how busy the club was, everything around me just stopped. I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t even move a muscle. The very thing that Jack taught me that was supposed to help me in situations like these suddenly went out of the window.

“ Are you good with your hands, or are you better with your mouth? “ Jonah whispers closely to my ear while his hand continues to hold me. “ You can do it now under the table, or we can do it outside if you like. “

“N-no, I’m sorry. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I say, pushing his hand off me, but Jonah grabs my waist this time and tries to put his hand inside my shirt.

“ You smell really good, Sunday. What soap do you use ?“

I continued to try to push him off me, praying that someone would be able to see. But the bar was now packed at this hour, and everyone was too busy to even notice. I couldn’t really push Jonah away either, considering how he’s a cop who definitely knows how to use his strength.

Jonah kept on holding me, and I couldn’t help but feel so helpless. Is this what it means to work in a bar where the customers see you as nothing more than an object? Is this the consequence of only wanting to earn money to survive?

Why is the world so unfair?

Why do I have to do all this and experience all this just because I want to be able to continue studying in a school that wouldn’t let me take a test because of a uniform I can’t afford?

“ Come on Sunday, make this work for me. “

“Please stop.”

I tried my very best to get off my seat so I could walk off, but just as I was about to stand, Jonah’s hand suddenly groped my cock, so without any hesitation, I grabbed a glass of my drink and splashed it on his face, which was something that he did not like one bit.

“You son of a bitch!” He shouted, finally making everyone stop what they were doing as they looked at our table.

“Are you fucking crazy?!” He continued to shout while I quickly got up from my seat as well to move away from him.

Jonah lifted his hand and was about to slap me. I was still intoxicated and shocked that I could only close my eyes and wait for the impact, but after a couple of seconds, nothing happened.

I slowly opened my eyes back and saw Gin standing in front of me while a bouncer held Jonah’s hand to stop him from hurting me. Gin doesn’t say anything and nods his head to the bouncer so he can let go of Jonah’s hand. As soon as he let go of him, two table employees rushed to his side to wipe the drink off his face and shirt.

“I apologize for the little inconvenience, sir,” Gin simply says, and Jonah pushes the employee away and suddenly points at me.

“Little inconvenience? Look what your kid did to me! Haven’t you taught him how to act? Do you even know who I am? I can close this bar down if I wanted to,” Jonah angrily asks, acting arrogant because he knows well enough that he’s a cop. He can definitely twist the situation around and make it look like it’s entirely my fault.

“I understand that you are upset, and we are willing to pay for the damages,” Gin calmly explains, making Jonah look like an idiot because no one was trying to match his energy.

Jonah was about to let it go, but he looked around and noticed that people were staring at him, which may have caused him to feel more embarrassed, so like a high school bully, he redirected his embarrassment to me.

“Well, what did you even expect from a bitch? Acting so innocent when he’ll definitely get his ass fucked if you give him enough money. Was my tip not enough, Sunday?” Jonah was still able to say.

“I believe that’s enough, sir,” a voice then replies.

Madam Scarlet arrived at the scene and walked in front of the customer who called me a bitch. “You are clearly drunk, sir, but regardless, if you say one more thing about my employee, I’ll have to throw you out forcefully.”

Jonah looked like he was ready to throw a fit, but madam Scarlet was an expert in these situations. She was able to calm the asshole down and even settled the situation in a professional manner.

Excluding the payment we got from the drinks he ordered, Gin paid him for the dry cleaning of his clothes and quietly asked him to leave, which Jonah surprisingly did. When everything was now over and done, the bar returned to normal. I thought I was going to get scolded, but Gin and Scarlet didn’t say anything to me and just asked me to go to the dressing room.

I was sitting in a chair with a blank expression while Jack patted my back as a sign of comfort. The other employees were still outside entertaining the customers while Gin and Scarlet were arguing in another room, which was actually the office.

“I told you, he’s still not ready!” I overheard Gin say.

“We were trying to help him. This is part of the job. We can’t control everything!” Scarlet argued back.

“This job isn’t for everyone, and we even got a cop involved. What if he really did end up doing something to our bar? What are you going to do then?”

Jack continued to pat my back as the two bickered at each other. He then looked at me and said, “Don’t worry about them. They’re always fighting like this, but they’ll make up eventually. And if you’re thinking that they’re going to blame you for this incident, then forget about it. They’re probably blaming themselves for letting this happen.”

“I-I’m sorry,” I replied, and Jack sighed and suddenly grabbed both of my hands.

“Shout.”

“What?”

“It makes you feel angry, right? How the world treats people like us is frustrating, isn’t it? Then shout it all out. If you keep it bottled up inside, you’re going to depress yourself about this for a long time, and we don’t want that asshole to hurt you further than he already has. So shout,” Jack explains to me.

I was hesitant at first, but as the dressing room fell silent, I squeezed Jack’s hand and shouted my lungs out. My hands trembled as I shouted and shouted, tears streaming out from my eyes as I did so.

I could remember his venomous touch and his hot breath near my ear, but I shouted it all out. As Jack said, I shouldn’t let Jonah win me over. I’m not gonna let him break me. I wasn’t the loser in this game called life. He was.

When I was finally able to put my frustrations out, Jack pulled me towards him and wrapped his arms around me to give me a tight embrace.

“That’s my boy,” he says while caressing my back. “Here, in the Red Light Bar, we only have each other. When a customer tries to fuck us over, we just shout it out. Don’t let them drown you. Do you understand?” He asks, and I nod my head in response.

“And we also apologize that we weren’t able to notice you fast enough.”

“No, it’s not your fault. I should have kept it together and acted immediately.”

“Alright, we’re not going anywhere if we keep taking the blame here. We’re just glad nothing else happened to you.”

After giving me a tight embrace, Jack pulled away and wiped my tears for me. “Since you did a great job tonight, keep this,” he then says, grabbing my hand and putting something in it.

I looked down and saw the exact amount of money that Jonah had given me earlier before he started touching me. I was about to give the money back, but Jack stopped me and said, “At least let him pay for what he made you feel tonight.”

To be honest, I still didn’t want to take it, but when I looked down at the money, I couldn’t help but take a deep breath and just nod my head. Jack’s right–money is still money. And as someone who is in extreme need of it, I have to put my pride down and just take it.

“Anyway, I think Gin and Scarlet are done talking. You should go inside the office now,” Jack tells me, and so I nod my head and stand from my seat so I can enter the room where my two bosses can be found.

I knocked on the door once and entered the room right after. Madam Scarlet was sitting in front of a desk while Gin stood in front of her.

When I got inside, the two of them looked at me and gave me sad smiles. I didn’t want them to look at me like that because most of the employees in this bar had worse experiences with customers, so I didn’t want to be a burden and act all weak, especially when I could tell that both madam Scarlet and sir Gin are kind people who only wanted to help me.

So like I always did, I took a deep breath and put on a forced smile before telling them, “It seems like this job isn’t cut out for me. I’d love to go back to cleaning again if that’s alright.”

Scarlet and Gin looked at each other before looking at me. And just like that, my one-night trial as a table employee came to an end, and everything that happened during that time was flushed down the toilet.

…

“Mr. Adlawan,” my professor suddenly calls out, making me blink and realize that I was actually in the classroom reading my notes.

“I know that I asked you to use our time to self-study, but it seems like you’ve been out of it since I got here,” she says, and I awkwardly laugh it off as I scratch the back of my head so that she wouldn’t start questioning me any further.

“Sorry, I’ve been studying all night for the test,” I lied, and I could tell my professor knew that I was lying too, but she didn’t say anything anymore.

“Alright, continue on,” she says before giving me a smile. “And I’m glad that you already have your uniform on. You look more handsome in it.”

“Y-yeah, thanks.”

The professor nods his head and continues walking around the room to check on the others. When she was now meters away from me, Vicki—who was sitting beside me—suddenly moved her chair closer.

“I’m glad you finally got your uniform, Dom. Like what our professor said, you really do look handsome in it. Even more handsome than Arthur,” Vicki says, and Arthur just snorts.

“You have a part-time job, right? Good thing you were able to save up,” Justin then adds, and Arthur, who was writing notes down, nods his head to agree to it as well.

“I actually got the money from my mom,” I quickly lie. I don’t know why, but I feel like I didn’t want to admit that I was only able to buy the uniform because of madam Scarlet. Maybe it’s the stubbornness in me, or perhaps I just didn’t want to remember that night at all.

“That’s nice then.”

“Speaking of a part-time job, when are you going to let us visit? I want to see you working. I’m definitely going to make you miserable,” Vicki then jokes, and this time, Art and Justin were looking at me too.

“No way. Who even wants their friends to visit their workplace?”

“Oh, come on, tell us! We’ll even give you a tip,” Vicki insisted.

I looked at the three of them as they waited for my response. I didn’t know what to say anymore, so I just ended up pushing Vicki away. “Alright, enough of this chatter, and let us all continue with our studies.”

Vicki pouts but still goes back to reading her book. Justin and Arthur did the same, so I sighed in relief and looked down at my notes to reread them.

I try to concentrate on the writing in my notebook. I wanted to focus and just continue on with my life like normal. Still, while I was looking down at my notes, I caught a glimpse of the uniform that was on me, and like two cars speeding toward each other, the memories of that night suddenly started to crash in front of me again. I ended up slamming my hand on my table in complete frustration.

The entire class stopped what they were doing to turn their head at me as the sound echoed in the room. Even our professor was giving me strange looks.

“Dom, are you okay?” Arthur asks.

Vicki looked back at me with concern too. She was about to reach out to me, but I immediately stood up from my seat and laughed it off. “S-Sorry, it’s my first time studying this much, and I feel like my head’s about to explode,” I say, making my classmates chuckle. “I’ll just head out for a few minutes.”

My professor was about to say something, but I was already out of the door before I could even hear her.

“ Dom, relax. It’s been three days already. Get a grip, “ I whispered to myself as I went to the restroom.

When I got there, I went in front of the sink and washed my face to calm myself down. While the water continued running from the faucet, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. The uniform that I was wearing was clean, but it felt dirty on me. I wanted to take it off so badly, but instead, I gripped the edge of the counter and shouted at my own reflection.

If the world is treating you like shit, then all you can do is shout.

My voice echoes inside the empty restroom, but right after, it is once again flooded by the sound of water running.

Everyone’s been telling me that I look handsome in this uniform, but instead of feeling flattered, I end up remembering that cop who told me the same thing. I couldn’t get it off my head.

“ It’s okay, Dom. Don’t let him occupy your head. “

I took a deep breath and rewashed my face before turning the faucet off. But as I was about to get some tissues to dry myself down, the empty restroom was not so empty after all because a door from one of the stools suddenly opened, startling me.

“You must be very frustrated to be shouting like that,” a familiar voice says.

I looked at his reflection and saw president Aries Buan walking toward me. He took the sink beside me and started washing his hands like he didn’t just embarrass me for shouting like a maniac.

“I’m sorry. The exam is getting closer, and I just—”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Aries quickly says while he continues washing his hand. “You don’t owe me an explanation, so there’s nothing for you to worry about.”

Like always, I was surprised by his unexpected response, but I just took a deep breath and nodded my head in understanding.

When Aries was now finished washing his hand, he looked at my reflection and suddenly started staring at me. For a second, I thought he was still secretly judging me for shouting in a supposed empty toilet, but then I noticed that he was actually staring at my uniform.

“Oh yeah, I was able to buy a uniform,” I tell him with a smile. “I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to take the test after everything you did for me, so I did my best to get one.”

Aries still doesn’t say anything and just stares at me, making me laugh awkwardly. “A-anyway, do I look handsome? Everyone’s been telling me that I look handsome in it.”

I thought Aries would reply to me this time, but to my surprise, he suddenly reached out to me instead. I don’t know why, but my hand moved in instinct, and it ended up pushing Aries’s hand away like it was some kind of virus.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“No, my apologies,” Aries quickly interrupts, taking a step back from me all of a sudden. “I reached out to you without any warning. I was supposed to fix your collar, but I should have just told you about it.”

“My collar?” I turned my head to the mirror and realized that my collar was actually a mess. “Oh damn, I didn’t notice that,” I say as I start fixing it on my own. I reached out at the back and tried to make it look good, but for some reason, I was doing a sloppy job.

“I’m seriously terrible at doing the simplest things,” I complain before looking back at Aries. “Can you help me with this?”

Aries doesn’t say anything and just nods his head in agreement, so I turn my body towards him and lower myself a little so he can reach me. He was careful as he started fixing my collar and my necktie. While he was standing close to me, I couldn’t help but smell a sweet scent that was coming from him. 

Back at the bar, Jonah was sitting close to me like this, but with Aries, it felt nice.

Instead of remembering the time at the bar, I suddenly remember our study sessions at the library. I remember Aries wearing his glasses while his eyes were focused on his work. I remember the quiet atmosphere and the sun setting. I remember the times he would show me his smile and even his frustrated expression whenever I got an answer wrong.

Something about Aries was just calming to me. Maybe it’s just his quiet nature, but whenever I look at him, I can’t help but forget the bad things in life.

“I think this is fine now,” Aries suddenly says, now moving away from me.

I looked back at the mirror again and saw my uniform looking better than earlier. “Thank you,” I say.

“You’re welcome,” he replies, and in an instant, I can feel the awkward tension between us again.

I cleared my throat and looked down at the floor before looking back at Aries. “Anyway, the exam is in two days. I know this may sound a bit random, but I’m really thankful for everything you did for me the past week. I won’t let you down and will definitely ace the exams. I promise.”

Aries looks at me and doesn’t say a thing. Maybe I shouldn’t have said all that. I just ended up making him feel weird.

“I guess I should head back and—”

“You look handsome,” Aries suddenly comments, surprising me.

“Pardon?”

“The uniform…it looks really good on you,” Aries adds, and for a quick second, my heart skips a beat, leaving me in shambles.

“Well, we still have to study after classes, so I’ll see you at the library,” Aries quickly tells me. I was about to say something back, but before I could even do so, Aries took his leave.

I was left standing in the middle of the restroom with my heart beating like crazy. After a couple of seconds, I turned back to the faucet and washed my face for the third time to cool myself down.

When I looked back at my reflection, I suddenly saw this stupid smile on my face, making me start laughing at myself as if I had finally lost it.

“He said I looked handsome. The Aries Buan said I looked handsome,” I tell myself as I continue to stare at my reflection. Everyone has been telling me the same thing all day, but for some reason, they didn’t feel as good as when he said it.

I guess this uniform isn’t as dirty as I thought.

end.

(13) Maybes & Certainties

I FIXED MY NECKTIE and stared at my reflection on the glass door before finally heading inside the library. Today was September 25, which means I only have three days left before our preliminary exams.

Despite everything that happened to me over the weekend, it is unfortunately still not an excuse to neglect my studies, especially after everything Aries has done for me.

To be honest, I don’t even know why he’s putting in so much effort. Last night I told him that he should focus on his own studies because I could just study on my own, but Aries insisted on still meeting up with me today. Maybe it’s because he wants to prove to everyone that he’s a capable senior partner, or maybe…just maybe…he pities me and genuinely wants me to improve.

“Aries,” I call out when I arrive at our usual table.

Aries was reading his own notes. He looks at me for a quick second, but then he immediately looks down at his notes again and doesn’t even acknowledge my presence, which isn’t much of a surprise anymore. He does it all the time.

I clear my throat and take a seat in front of him, putting my now-heavy backpack on the chair beside me. I glance at Aries for a quick second, but then I remember the comment he made about my uniform earlier. As soon as I remembered that exact scene in the restroom, I instantly looked away from him as well.

I guess he’s shy too.

“Anyway, what are we studying today?” I ask instead, trying not to make the atmosphere awkward. “I finished reviewing the remaining notes you gave me and followed the study plan. I guess I still haven’t—”

“Here,” Aries suddenly interrupts me as he places a bunch of papers on the table. For a second, I thought it would be more notes, but to my surprise, it was actually test papers.

“I made a test for you which covers everything we learned last week. We have three days left before the exams, so you’ll be answering these tests before the final day. Consider it as a pre-test,” Aries explains.

I’ve always been amazed by the effort that Aries puts out whenever he tutors me, but this is another level. He already made a test for me last time, but the questions on these tests were a lot more advance. It means I have to really think this through. But it also means that Aries went through all the trouble to think of these questions for me.

“You still managed to make these for me even when you’re busy studying yourself?” I ask, and Aries chooses to ignore my question as he continues reading his notes.

“There are three tests for three subjects that you’ll have to accomplish today. I’ll give you an hour to finish each,” Aries explains to me before looking at his watch. “You can begin now.”

I immediately took a pen from my bag and started answering the first test. When I was reading the instructions, I couldn’t help but be worried. But when I started reading the questions, a smile instantly appeared on my face as I wrote down the answers with complete confidence.

I was smiling like an idiot as I wrote the answers one by one. I felt like a kid who was guessing the right answers whenever a cartoon character asked a question on t.v. This was the first time I’d ever experienced such a thing. This was the first time I’ve ever thought that maybe I was not as stupid as I thought I was.

“Aries, I think I’ll be able to—” Before I could even finish my sentence, my phone suddenly started ringing. Aries and the other students in the library ended up staring at me, so I immediately grabbed my phone and answered the call.

Surprisingly enough, the caller was none other than my ever-so-reliable friend, Gelo.

“ Sorry, “ I tell Aries before pressing the phone on my ear. “ Gelo, not now. I’m still answering a test. Call me later tonight, “ I quickly tell him. I was about to end the call, but just before I could even do so, Gelo suddenly told me something that made me drop my pen.

“ Dom! Your mom’s at the hospital! “

“W-What?”

“I went to our high school to get some documents, but then I overheard that mama collapsed earlier and was sent to the hospital. I called you as soon as I heard it,” Gelo explains, and my mind completely went blank.

Mom is at the hospital?

My mom?

How did I not notice this before? Mom hasn’t been eating well, and she would come home late because of too much work. Even when she was home, she was still working. I should have done something to help her. I should have—

“ Dom, I’ll message you the address of the hospital, okay? I still have to go to work to submit these documents, but I’ll follow you there as soon as I can. “

“O-Okay, thank you,” I say, putting my phone down and ending my call.

I looked up and saw Aries staring at me. I didn’t know what expression I had on me, but Aries had this look on his face that made it seem like he was worried.

I tried not to panic as I slowly stood up from my seat. “I-I’m sorry, but I…I have to go.”

I quickly took my bag and didn’t even wait for Aries’s response. But because I was in such a hurry, I forgot to zip my bag. So when I grabbed it, everything inside started to fall.

“ Fuck, “ I curse, immediately kneeling down to grab my things.

My hands were trembling as I picked up the pens and shoved them into my backpack. Aries got up from his seat as well and helped me with my things. He looked at me, and it seemed like he was saying something, but I was in a state of panic that I couldn’t even hear him.

My mom’s at the hospital. She’s the only thing I have, and I let this happen.

Gelo’s right. I shouldn’t have wasted my time studying and just started working instead. If I had just gotten a proper job, I wouldn’t have made mom work so much. If I got a proper job, I wouldn’t have been harassed by that cop. If I had just stopped studying and stopped being delusional that education was going to help me with my fucked up life, then I wouldn’t have—

“Dom!” Aries suddenly shouted, making me blink and realize that tears were already streaming down my eyes before I could even stop them from falling.

Everyone at the library was now staring at us and giving us strange looks, but when I lifted my head up, I saw Aries holding onto my trembling hand, squeezing it as if he was trying to comfort me.

“Dom, look at me,” he quickly says. “Take a deep breath and compose yourself, okay?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and did what I was told. When my hands were no longer shaking, Aries grabbed my backpack and helped me stand up. He didn’t mind that people were staring at us. He was just making sure I was okay.

“Let’s get out of here first,” he says as he grabs his things.

As soon as he packed his bag, Aries took my hand again and dragged me out of the library, holding onto my backpack as well. When we got to an empty hallway, he lets go of me and immediately asked, “That phone call…something urgent happened, is that correct?”

I took another deep breath and tried my best not to shed a tear. “My mom…she’s at the hospital. I’m sorry if I was—”

“I’ll take you there,” Aries suddenly offers without any hint of hesitation. “I have a car with me. I’ll drive you there. It would be faster.”

I honestly wanted to decline his offer since Aries had already done so much for me, and I didn’t want to trouble him any further. But I thought of the situation that I was in, and if I declined him and decided to take the bus instead, I’ll definitely get to the hospital way too late.

“Thank you,” I say instead, and Aries nods his head and grabs my hand once again, dragging me to the parking lot where his car can be found.

Aries opened his car door for me as I sat in the passenger’s seat. After putting our bags at the back, Aries immediately went to the driver’s seat as well and started the engine. Just in time, Gelo sent me the name of the hospital, so Aries started driving off before I could even process what was going on.

The two of us were quiet as we sat in his car. While waiting for the green light, I couldn’t help but bounce my leg up and down because of how nervous I was. My mom has never been sent to the hospital before. If something serious were to happen to her, I don’t know what I’ll do.

“I know this is me being way too optimistic, but I think she’ll be fine. She’s your mom, after all, and I’ve never met anyone as strong as you are,” Aries suddenly says, surprising me.

“What do you mean by that?”

Aries clenches the steering wheel, looking at the road and deciding whether or not he should continue. But when the stoplight turned green and when the car started moving, Aries told me, “When I look at you, I can’t help but be envious. You’re outspoken and expressive, and you tend to face things head-on with no hesitation. You’re not afraid to make mistakes, and you’re certain of yourself. Those traits alone are enough to make you a strong person.”

I don’t know why, but I couldn’t say anything after hearing such praise. Maybe I’m not used to hearing people say such things to me, or maybe it’s because Aries said it himself, but what I am sure of is that it takes a kind and observant person to be able to say such a thing to someone.

“You give me too much credit,” I say, looking out of the window because I ended up feeling way too shy to face him. “I guess when you live in my world, you’re forced to have those traits. The world can be cruel, so all you can do is make yourself unbreakable.”

When I realized what I had said, I immediately looked back at Aries and told him, “Not that I’m saying you have it good or anything. I’m sure you have your own hardships and that you—”

“It’s fine,” Aries quickly says, a smile appearing on his face while his eyes are still glued on the road. “I know what you mean. But I also agree with you, in a sense. I know that you know that I live a comfortable life, and that’s because of my family. The things I go through aren’t even half as hard as yours, and I’m saying this with respect.”

“Don’t say that. No struggle is too hard or too easy. We struggle all the same,” I tell him, and Aries chuckles and nods his head.

“I guess you’re right. But it would be very interesting to switch shoes. I’m interested to know what it feels like to be Domingo M. Adlawan,” Aries suddenly says.

“Well, I’m interested to know what it feels like to be Aries Buan, too,” I reply, and the two of us end up laughing at each other.

For some reason, I ended up feeling a lot better. I was still worried, but I wasn’t panicking as much anymore, which I feel was something Aries was trying to do. If I ended up panicking before we even arrived at the hospital, my mom would end up worrying about me instead.

I never thought it would be this easy to talk to him. I’ve always thought that Aries was this cold and unapproachable senior, but the longer I hang out with him, the more I realize how genuine he really is.

“We’re here,” Aries suddenly says as he parks in front of the entrance of the hospital.

“Thank you,” I say, and Aries looks at me and just nods his head. I was about to open the door and leave, but then I remembered my bag, which was at the back. I quickly moved and reached out to grab it, but to my surprise, Aries did the same, and our faces instantly stopped just inches away from each other.

I was startled, but for some reason, I couldn’t move away.

I know that Aries was startled too, but for some reason, he couldn’t move away either.

The two of us stared at each other for a few more seconds. I stared at his eyes, his long lashes, and his pinkish lips. I almost didn’t want to move, but then the car behind us suddenly started honking, finally making the two of us move away from each other.

“I-I’ll get it,” Aries awkwardly says, grabbing my bag at the back and handing it over to me.

I cleared my throat and thanked him again. But before I could even open the door, I looked at my uniform and asked him, “Is it alright with you if you accompany me inside? I might…you know…have another panic attack.”

That was a lie.

I don’t know why I had to lie, but what I do know is that I still want to be with him. Maybe talking to him just calms me down, or maybe I just want to be with someone when I visit a hospital that has nothing but terrible memories, but the truth is, I was getting tired of thinking of maybes, and all I wanted now was certainties.

“Sorry, I don’t want to trouble you any further. Thank you so much for driving me all the way here. I really—”

“Sure,” Aries suddenly replies.

Before I could even ask for clarification on what he meant by that, Aries started driving again and parked the car in the parking lot. He turns the engine off the pulls the key out before looking back at me. “Shall we go then?”

I tried my best not to smile as I nodded my head in reply. Aries nods his head too and steps out of the car, making me step out of the car as well.

I wanted to hit myself for troubling Aries again, but it was too late now, so I just remained silent as the two of us went to the hospital.

It’s been a while since I’ve been to a hospital. Whenever I got sick, mom would just cook me this bomb-ass porridge that would magically make me feel better. Sometimes she’d just give me crackers and some orange juice, but that also miraculously sped up my recovery. I guess it’s not really the food but her motherly love.

“May I ask if Yade M. Adlawan is confined here?” I ask one of the ladies at the front desk.

“Yade Adlawan? Let me see…” the woman looks at her computer and then looks back at me. “Yes, she’s in room 107. May I ask who you might be?”

“I’m her son, Domingo Adlawan,” I say, showing her the school I.D. that I was wearing.

The woman noted it down, and then she told us the directions to her room. Aries didn’t complain as we ran up the stairs. To be honest, I don’t even know why he agreed to come here.

“Maybe I should have asked if she was alright,” I say as we walk towards her room.

“I think she’s fine. If something serious happened to her, that woman would have said something,” Aries explains, and I nodded my head and believed his words like they were the absolute truth.

“Looks like we’re here,” Aries then says when we arrive at room 107. “You can head inside first. I’ll wait for you here.”

“Thank you,” I say as I turn to the door and grab the doorknob. But before I could even head inside, I stopped and looked back at Aries again. Aries was confused for a second, wondering why I was even looking at him. But before he could ask me anything, I ran to him and grabbed him for a hug.

I don’t know why, but my feet and my arms started to move on their own. I was hugging Aries as if I was hugging the most important person in my life. I wanted to pull away and apologize for even doing such a thing, but I couldn’t.

I wanted to hug him.

I wanted to genuinely thank him.

I wanted him to know that he has saved me in so many instances—instances that he probably doesn’t even remember.

I wanted to hold him.

And despite the fear that Aries might find me annoying, I still couldn’t let go. I was afraid that maybe this was crossing the line, and I had ruined the potential friendship that we were starting to build. But as I had these doubts run inside my head, Aries suddenly hugged me back, and in an instant, I felt as if the universe had stopped, and the only thing that was moving was my rapidly beating heart that I was praying he would never hear.

end.

(14) Unnecessary Apologies

“WHY DIDN’T YOU LET anyone call me when you were sent to the hospital? I had to find out from Gelo when I should have been the first one to know,” I immediately start complaining while holding onto my mother’s hand.

Mama was lying on the hospital bed, weakly smiling as she stared at me. For a moment, I wasn’t sure why she was giving me such a look, but then I noticed that she was actually staring at the uniform that I was wearing.

“I left the house before I even saw you. I didn’t know that you bought yourself a uniform,” mama says with a sad smile. “You should have told me sooner. I would have bought one for you.”

“Ma, this isn’t the time to be worrying about such things,” I quickly tell her, and mom reaches out and gently touches my cheek.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes to feel her warmth. After hearing about what happened to her, I thought my entire world would crumble. But now that I’m seeing her and feeling her like this, I couldn’t help but be relieved.

“ Thank God you’re okay, “ I whisper, squeezing her hand even tighter. I wanted to tell her how scared I was. I wanted to tell her that despite everything I’d been through growing up, I felt like a child again. I felt so helpless.

But I didn’t tell her anything. I didn’t tell her because she needed my strength now more than ever.

“Dom, I’m sorry if I didn’t let anyone tell you about what happened to me. I didn’t want you to worry, especially since your exam is coming up. But I guess keeping my condition a secret only worried you even more,” my mom then tells me, slowly removing her hand from my cheek.

“From now on, if you’re not feeling well, you should tell me immediately, okay? It’s just you and me against the world, remember?” I say with a bitter heart since I know full well that I couldn’t even keep these words myself.

“You’re acting as if I’m not the mom here.”

“Well, you’re acting like the kid here, so I might as well steal the part.”

My mom laughed, and the moment I heard that sound, I knew that she was going to be okay.

“By the way, how was school? Don’t tell me you cut class,” mama then says, and I quickly shake my head to deny it.

“Of course not. Classes were over, and I was just studying at the library when I heard the news. In fact, I’m with someone right now. He’s the one who drove me here and is just waiting outside,” I tell her, and mama suddenly hits my arm.

It looks like she really is okay now.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you’re with someone? Ask him to come here. How could you just let him wait for you outside when he drove you all the way here?” my mom starts to nag, and I sigh and nod my head in defeat as I walk my way to the door.

I open the door and peek out to see Aries sitting just outside the room while checking his phone. He saw me and instantly stood from his seat. “Dom, is your mom doing okay?” He asks.

“She’s better. And she actually wants to meet you,” I reply.

Aries was surprised, and I thought he’d insist on just waiting outside because he’d be too shy to face my mom, but I guess Aries is just different because he simply nods his head and walks towards me without any fuss.

“Well then, let me introduce you to her.”

The two of us walk inside the room, and when my mom spots Aries, she suddenly sits up from the bed so she can properly greet him.

“Ma’am, please, you don’t have to get up,” Aries quickly says, but my mom—as stubborn as she is—ignores him and sits up anyway.

“I may be a teacher, but you don’t have to call me ma’am. Yade is fine. Or better yet, just call me mama. Dom’s friends usually call me that.”

“Ma…” I start to whine, but mama just chuckles while Aries smiles at her suggestion.

“It’s great to meet you. My name is Aries. I’m Dom’s senior partner. Your son was very worried about you earlier, so I’m glad you’re doing better. Thank you for also letting me speak with you despite your condition,” Aries finally introduces, sounding like the proper council president that he is. The way he speaks is just so elegant. I can’t even explain why.

My mom probably thought of the same thing too because she ended up giggling at herself after hearing Aries speak. “I never expected that Dom would have a friend like you. I was worried that the only friend he’ll have is Gelo, and he’s technically not the best influence.”

“Gelo?” Aries confusingly asks.

“Ma, you’re acting like Gelo’s a terrible person. He might have influenced me to cut classes a few times back in high school, but he’s a good kid,” I quickly defend, and mom just shrugs her shoulder.

“Anyway, Aries here is the student council president in our institute, and he’s also a Dean’s lister. He’s the guy who has been helping me study for my finals,” I then told her, and this time, Aries looked shy. He was probably trying to be humble, but he’s not fooling anyone.

“Wow, really? I was wondering why Dom was starting to read books when he barely even touched them in the past. It looks like it’s all thanks to you.”

“Please, I’m just here to help him as his senior partner,” Aries then answers, which was an answer that I should have expected, but for some reason, it almost put me in a bad mood. Was I expecting him to say that he was helping me because he liked it? Of course not. He’s doing this because we’re partners. There’s no other reason.

“Dom is very lucky to have you as his partner. I remember when I was a student at Librada University, my partner and I would usually argue,” my mom then reveals, interrupting me with my thoughts.

“You were a student in LU too?” Aries then asks, surprised by the newfound information.

“It was years ago, but I’m glad that they still kept the freshmen-senior partnerships going. Because of that tradition, my freshmen year became the best thing that ever happened in my college life,” mama then shares.

I was about to tease her that I heard from my professor that her senior partner actually had a crush on her back in the day, but before I could even say anything, someone suddenly knocked on the door.

The three of us turn our heads, and then the door opens, revealing a doctor and a nurse.

“Ms. Yade, it looks like you’re doing better,” the doctor says as he approaches her. “How are you feeling? Do you feel any pain?”

“I feel a lot better after resting and taking the medicine you gave me earlier,” my mom answers, and the doctor nods and writes something down on his clipboard before looking back at her. “The results for your blood tests came in, and other than having high blood pressure, you’re doing okay. The only problem is, you’re overworked, and that’s one of the reasons why you fainted.”

“Well, doc, I’m a public school teacher, so work can be unpredictable,” my mom explains, and the doctor nods his head like he fully understands what my mom meant.

“I’ve heard from the two other teachers who brought you here. That’s why I’m recommending you to take a leave from work and rest for a week,” the doctor then reveals, which was something that I already expected, but it was news that mama wasn’t willing to listen to.

“Doc, I can’t just take a sick leave. My work is just going to pile up. I’m feeling better now anyway, and if I just sleep properly and take the medicine you gave me, then I’ll be fine,” my mom insists.

The doctor was about to say something, but I immediately went in between them and said, “I’ll make sure my mom rests for the entire week. Leave it to me, doctor.”

The doctor was surprised, but then he smiled and nodded his head. “You must be his son, Domingo. I’m counting on you on this, okay? If your mom doesn’t listen and ends up overworking herself again, there will be major consequences. With her high blood pressure, accompanied by her burnout, she has a higher chance of a stroke. So please, Ms. Yade, rest.”

Mama sighs, but she eventually nods her head to agree to it.

“Then I’ll be off to my next patient,” the doctor then says, and mom and I thank him as he walks out of the room.

The nurse walks towards me and hands me the prescriptions that mom will need. She then tells us that she can now leave the hospital since her school was kind enough to already pay for the bill. I guess that’s the least they can do for overworking her so much.

“Looks like we can go now,” I say as I help my mom get up from the bed. “Ma, I’ll buy the medicine you need downstairs first. And then you should wait in the lobby so I can call for a taxi. It would be too much of a hassle if we ride the bus in your condition,” I continue to tell her.

“I have money in my wallet, so you can get a couple of bills there for the medicine.” 

I take her bag that was placed on the side and start searching for her wallet. But while searching, Aries suddenly walks closer to me and tells us, “I can drive you to your place.”

Mama and I ended up looking at Aries at the same time, and we both had this look on our faces as if we had just heard the most ridiculous thing in the world.

“Oh dear, you don’t have to. I’m already embarrassed enough that you had to drive my idiot son all the way here. We can head home ourselves, but thank you,” my mom tells him while I nod my head to agree with her. Well, except for the ‘idiot son’ part.

“No, it’s fine. It’s the least I can do,” Aries insisted.

Mama and I were about to retaliate, but then Aries took her other bags and carried them for her so we wouldn’t be able to decline his offer anymore. “Well then, I’ll take your mom to the car while you buy the medicine. We’ll wait for you at the parking lot, okay?”

The two of us couldn’t say no anymore, so we eventually agreed to let Aries give us a lift. I was already so embarrassed because of what happened earlier, and now he was going to drive us home. Other than that, our neighborhood isn’t exactly the type of street where you can just casually spot a fancy car like the one Aries has, so our nosy neighbors will definitely stick their noses in our business again.

And it’s not like I’m ashamed of our lifestyle or anything, but our house doesn’t even have paint on it! Just plain hollow blocks and a screen door that’s so rusted it makes this annoying sound.

How will Aries even react to that?

Will he secretly judge me for it?

What on earth am I going to do now?!

“ Mama’s already going home? “ Gelo asks on the other line of the phone while I am walking back to the parking lot, holding the medicine that I just bought at the drugstore in the hospital.

“Yeah, she was overworked, and that’s why she fainted. But she’ll need to rest for at least a week, which will be very difficult because you know how much of a workaholic she really is.”

“ Well, you might as well lock her in her room then so she wouldn’t be able to do anything other than lie in bed .“

“You’re seriously an idiot, do you know that?” I ask, and Gelo just laughs.

“Anyway, you’re still submitting those papers, right? Then visit the house after you’re done. Buy her some fruits when you get home too,” I say, and I could already hear Gelo grunting in frustration because he obviously didn’t want to spend any money. But as expected, my childhood friend doesn’t complain and simply answers, “ Alright, I’ll buy some when I drive past the market .“

“Thanks. With the way you’re going, mama’s going to make you her favorite son,” I then say, and Gelo just sarcastically laughs.

“ I’m going to end the call before you ask me to buy anything else. See you later. “ Gelo quickly ends the call, and so I put my phone back inside my pocket, walking in the parking lot until I spot Aries’s car.

I take a deep breath and calm my nerves as I open the front door. “I have the medicine,” I announce, sitting beside Aries while mama sits at the back.

I turn to the back seat to hand the medicine to my mom. But then I remembered what happened between Aries and me earlier in this same car, so I immediately turned back around before clearing my throat so I could forget about the scene where the two of us almost pressed our lips against each other.

God, I just thought of it again, didn’t I?

“You can put your address here so I’d know which route to go,” Aries suddenly says, making me snap back to my senses.

Aries showed me his phone, so I nervously took it from him, typed our address down, and quickly handed it back to him.

“Looks like there’s going to be a bit of traffic, so you should rest first,” Aries says, looking at my mom through the rearview mirror before putting his phone on the dashboard so he can follow the directions on his phone.

My mom thanks Aries and slowly closes her eyes while she leans her head on the window. The pharmacist from the drugstore told me that the medicine she took earlier makes you drowsy, so mama’s probably feeling sleepy now, which is a good thing.

Aries glances at me but doesn’t say anything as he starts driving off.

It was already starting to get dark out, so I looked out of the window and stared at the light post that was being turned on one by one, illuminating the crowded streets.

There was a time when I imagined myself sitting in a car at night, listening to music while my boyfriend drove beside me, holding my hand as his eyes concentrated on the road. It sounded like a romantic road trip, but the situation that I was in was very different from how I expected it would be.

Other than the fact that my sick mom was sitting right behind us, the man driving beside me was not my boyfriend at all but my senior partner who I once hated. Then there’s the fact that he didn’t even turn on the radio, so the drive is as awkward as it can get. I guess he’s just trying to be considerate since my mom is sleeping, but at least say something so it wouldn’t be so awkward.

“You look like your mom,” Aries suddenly says, startling me.

Did he just seriously read my mind?

“You think so? A lot of people say I look like my dad,” I reply.

Aries looked like he was going to ask me something, but he stopped himself. I’m only going to assume that he was supposed to ask about my father, but he decided not to because he probably didn’t want to be rude.

“Papa died four years ago from lung cancer. He was a terrible smoker,” I tell him anyway, and Aries doesn’t say anything and just nods his head, which was something that I appreciated.

I was tired of hearing people say they were sorry when I mentioned my dad. Why are they even giving me unnecessary apologies? There is nothing for them to be sorry about.

“Anyway, thank you again for driving us home. I know you’re tired of hearing this from me, but I really appreciate everything you’ve done. I’ll definitely pay you back tenfold,” I genuinely tell him, and Aries just smiles.

“Just pass the exam, and I’ll consider that as your payment,” he then answers back, and so I nod my head and look out of the window again.

The two of us didn’t say anything anymore. The drive was quiet, and I know I was complaining about it earlier, but now I was starting to enjoy the silence as well. The only thing we could hear was the muffled noise from outside the car, and before I knew it, my eyes started to get heavy, and I eventually ended up falling asleep.

…

I woke up from the sound of people shouting outside. I slowly opened my eyes to check what was happening, and then I saw my neighbors shouting at Aries. For a second, I was about to panic, but then I realized that they were actually helping him park his car.

“We’re here?” I ask, yawning as I turn my head to check on my mom, but to my surprise, she isn’t there anymore.

“Your mom already went inside your house,” Aries answers while parking the car beside an abandoned garage that was owned by our neighbor, who’s a retired soldier.

“Then you can just drop me off. Why on earth are you even parking your car? Our street is very narrow, and I’m telling you, I have no money to pay for it if it accidentally gets scratched by something,” I seriously tell him, and Aries just laughs as if I said some kind of joke.

“Well, your mom invited me to eat dinner. I didn’t want to block the road, so I asked the guys outside where I could park my car, and they told me I could park it here,” Aries casually says, making my jaw drop.

“I’m sorry, you what?!”

Aries successfully parks the car and turns the engine off before looking at me. “Your mother insisted, and I didn’t want to be rude, so I just agreed. Now come on, we don’t want her to wait.”

Aries stepped out of his car while I sat in my seat in complete shock. I thought this guy was just going to drop us off and leave. Why on earth is he going to eat dinner with us now? What is he even thinking?

“Dom! Come on!”

I massaged my temple and took my backpack before finally heading out.

I led Aries to our humble abode, and while we were walking there, the people in our neighborhood wouldn’t stop staring at him.

“Yo! Dom, who’s the big shot?!” One of the guys, AKA one of the tambays,  suddenly asks, but I just ignore them as the two of us continue on our merry way, hoping Aries doesn’t end up stepping on dog shit because I would be too embarrassed to even move on from that.

“I’m sorry about this. Our street is always filled with people, especially at night, so it’s very crowded and noisy,” I say, but it seemed like Aries didn’t really mind.

“You have a habit of apologizing for things you don’t have to apologize for,” Aries tells me, and that sentence alone made me look down so he wouldn’t see me smiling like an idiot.

Aries and I took a few more steps, and then we finally arrived in front of our house, which was a one-floored building that was barely finished because the money that was supposed to complete the construction ended up in my dad’s hospital bills.

“Well, here we are. Welcome to the Adlawan residence, Mr. Aries Buan.”

end.

(15) Waxing Gibbious

ARIES REMOVES HIS SHOES before entering our house even though I’ve constantly told him that he doesn’t have to do such a thing. He was quiet when he got inside, but his eyes were obviously curious. He couldn’t help but look around, trying to understand the exterior design of our humble little home.

“It’s not much, but I hope you don’t mind,” I say, following behind him nervously. I don’t even know why I’m so nervous. Maybe I’m just anxious that he’ll comment about my lifestyle, and I’d end up feeling shitty about it even though I know full well that Aries isn’t the type to say such a thing.

“It’s a wonderful home,” Aries simply says, turning to face me. “Thank you for having me.”

Aries looks back at me with a shy smile, and for a quick second, something inside me stops. The noise outside becomes completely silent as I stare back at him. Everything went in slow motion, and I swear that I started seeing rose petals falling in front of me. But unlike in the movies, Aries looks away, and the fantasy instantly stops.

I couldn’t help but touch my beating chest at the sudden outburst of emotion.

What the hell was that anyway?

“Dom! Help me set the table,” mama shouted from the kitchen, quickly making Aries look back at me again.

“I can help,” he tells me, but I immediately shook my head and gestured at the living room that didn’t really look much like a living room because it was literally just a couple steps away from the dining table.

“My mom would riot if a guest lifts a finger while they’re in our house, so I insist, take a seat first. You can turn on the television if you like,” I say, and Aries slowly nods his head and awkwardly takes a seat on our old sofa.

When Aries was finally feeling at home, sort of, I rushed to the kitchen to see my mother frying the fish that we had in the freezer.

“Ma, let me do that. You should rest.”

Mama, who was basically immune from the oil that was jumping out of the pan, puts her hand on her waist and tells me, “This is the least that I can do. Your friend drove us home. Do you even know how expensive the gas is right now?”

“But—”

“No more buts. Just set the table and then prepare the rice after you’re done,” mom then commands, and all I can do is follow her.

I got the plates and other cutlery, which didn’t exactly match each other. There was also the glass that had different logos because my mom likes buying products that have free glass and thumblers attached to them.

After setting the table, I went to the kitchen counter and prepared the rice while mama started cooking some vegetables to partner with the fried fish.

“You didn’t tell me you were friends with such a guy,” mama suddenly says in a soft voice so Aries wouldn’t hear us. “Wasn’t he the same senior you were ranting about last time?” she then asks, making me forget the number of rice that I had already put inside the rice cooker.

“Ma, this isn’t the time for that,” I say, and all she can do is chuckle as I start counting the rice all over again.

“Last time you were complaining about how you find each other annoying and that you can’t seem to get along, but after seeing you two together, I think you just judged him way too quickly,” mama explains, which was something I actually agreed with.

“I guess so. But we’re not entirely friends or anything,” I say, finally turning on the rice cooker. “He’s just doing his job as my senior partner, and that’s good enough for me. I wouldn’t have asked for anything else.”

My mother looks at me and checks my expression. I thought she would comment on something, but she sighed and went back to cooking instead.

After doing everything that my mother asked me to do, I went back to the living room where I saw Aries staring at our television. For a quick second, I thought he was watching something, but then I realized that he was actually staring at a blank screen.

“What? Haven’t you seen a television that isn’t flat?” I jokingly ask as I approach him, and Aries ends up looking flustered.

I was about to take a seat beside him, but then I immediately stopped myself and took a different seat instead. The two of us were quiet, even though I wasn’t exactly the introverted type. I haven’t even asked Vicki and my other friends to visit our house, but here he is, the council president of our institute, sitting in our living room and wondering why the fuck our television looks so ancient.

“So…” Both of us suddenly said at the same time, making the atmosphere even more awkward.

I clear my throat and ask him to go first, but Aries shakes his head and gestures his hand to me instead, so I do.

“Uhm, are you allergic to anything? My mom is cooking fish and Bok Choy. You good with that?” I ask him.

“Oh, yes, of course. I’m fine with anything,” he answers, and the two of us become quiet again.

I clear my throat for the second time and start scratching the back of my head just so my hand wouldn’t be so awkward.

“What were you about to say earlier?” I finally ask him.

“Oh, r-right, I was just wondering if you had any siblings.”

“Siblings? No, I’m an only child.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. You have three other brothers, right? The A family. Arthur mentioned it last time,” I then tell him, and Aries purses his lips together and nods his head before looking at the ground.

The two of us become quiet again.

Why is it so hard to talk to him now? Is it because my mother is around? Is it because of the location?

“You know, I was wondering if—”

“Boys, dinner’s ready,” my mother suddenly interrupts, making me jolt out of my seat like I got caught doing a crime.

“Well, let’s go,” I tell him instead, and Aries nods his head and walks to the dining table while my mother puts down the food.

“Thank you for preparing this for us, Mrs. Yade. These smell incredible,” Aries genuinely tells her, and my mom chuckles, probably still surprised that I made friends with someone so respectful.

Mama and I sit on our usual chairs while Aries is asked to sit beside me.

The council president was very well-mannered, even while we were eating. You could tell that he was raised well because he didn’t eat in a rush and would even wipe his mouth with his handkerchief from time to time, which was strange to me. I know that it’s already been very obvious, but this just made me realize how different our worlds really are.

Aries lives comfortably, while I don’t. He eats properly and doesn’t just shove food inside his mouth because he isn’t usually starving like I am. And even the way he speaks shows how different the two of us are. This is just a huge wake-up call for me. I should immediately erase whatever I think I feel about him because the two of us are no match for each other.

That’s just the reality of things.

“I really insist. It would be rude if I don’t help with the dishes,” Aries argues right after eating dinner.

“Aries, if you continue doing this, I’m going to faint and blame you for it. Just sit tight and let me do the work,” mom then answers, and all Aries could do was sigh in defeat.

“Don’t worry about her. When there are guests at home, she wants to do all the work even though I usually do them when we’re alone. Very pretentious,” I say, and mama glares at me but doesn’t say anything.

“Anyway, come with me. Let’s get some fresh air,” I tell him, and Aries and I walk to the back of the house where the laundry can be found.

It was an open area just beside the street, which was divided by a plain concrete wall that had glass shards on top so outsiders won’t attempt to climb it. There was also a bench that was made out of scrap wood on the side. I sat on the bench first, and then Aries followed. When he was finally sitting beside me, I pulled something out of my pocket and showed it to him.

It was a pack of cigarettes.

“Want one?” I ask him.

“Does your mom know?” He asks back, and somehow, that question made me chuckle.

“Don’t worry, she does. Just not inside the house,” I then say, and surprisingly enough, Aries takes a stick and puts it in his mouth.

The only light we had was the light coming from the lamppost outside. So when I took out my lighter and turned it on, I ended up getting a clearer view of Aries, and like earlier, my heart ended up skipping a beat.

Our shadows danced on the wall while we sat still. I stare at the cigarette stick in his mouth, and then my eyes start to move until it finally stops at his lips. The fire from my lighter made his skin glow, but before I could even lose myself, I finally lit his cigarette, immediately turning the lighter off right after and looking away from him.

Aries was quiet as he started smoking beside me. I tried to calm myself down first, so I took a cigarette stick for myself and started smoking too.

Like earlier, the two of us didn’t say anything. We just enjoyed the silence and the heat from the nicotine that we were inhaling. I then looked up at the sky and saw the moon in its waxing gibbous phase. I couldn’t help but stare at it in admiration.

“It’s in its waxing gibbous phase,” Aries suddenly says while the smoke escapes his mouth. “Not entirely a half moon, nor is it a full moon,” he then adds before looking at me.

“So you know your moons,” I jokingly say, which was effective because Aries ended up laughing.

“I’m a Science Major,” he then reminded me, and all I could do was shrug my shoulder.

“Well, I met science majors who don’t even know what a chromosome is, so I don’t exactly know the knowledge standard,” I continue to joke, and Aries exhales the smoke from his mouth and quietly chuckles.

I turn my head to look at him for a while as Aries looks up at the sky, staring at the moon too. Despite not seeing him well because of the minimal light, I still couldn’t help but be captivated by him. He was very beautiful.

“You really do have a habit of staring at people,” he suddenly says, making me look away from him in embarrassment.

I quickly inhale the smoke from my cigarette and slowly exhale it. “Does that still annoy you?” I manage to ask.

Aries was quiet for a second as he continued staring at the sky. After exhaling the smoke from his mouth and finishing his cigarettes, he slowly looks back at me and asks, “Would you be bothered if I do?”

I didn’t answer his question as the two of us stared into each other this time. We could both hear people talking and dogs barking on the other side of the wall from where we were seated, but for a while, it didn’t bother us.

Soon after, I found myself leaning close to him. I leaned closer and closer…and then…in a split second…I looked away and immediately placed the cigarette inside my mouth again, pretending like I didn’t just do what I was supposed to do.

I nervously bounce my leg up and down as I throw my cigarette away. I didn’t know if Aries noticed what I was even trying to do to him, but I couldn’t even look him in the eye anymore because of how ashamed I felt.

I was about to make a move on a straight guy.

I’m not supposed to make a move on a straight guy, especially when it’s someone like Aries.

What am I even thinking?

“I’m sorry, Dom,” Aries suddenly says, immediately making me turn my head to look back at him. “Last time, I lashed out at you just because you mentioned my senior partner. I was a jerk, and I shouldn’t have said what I said,” he explains, surprising me even more.

I was flustered for a couple of seconds because I didn’t know that he’d apologize for such a reason. To be honest, I don’t even remember that anymore. Has he been thinking about it all this time?

“Hey, it’s fine. Really. I fully understand why you got mad. I shouldn’t have asked your brother about you. You kept your life private, and I tried to cross that line,” I explain, but Aries seemed to disagree.

“Are you going to ask me why I even got mad after you mentioned my previous senior partner?” Aries suddenly asks, looking up at the sky again.

“Will you answer if I even ask?”

Aries doesn’t say anything, but when we hear a car drive past us, he takes a deep breath and says, “My senior partner helped me get out of my shell and saw the best in me. He was friendly, and he was a person I really looked up to. He was basically a huge part of my college life.”

“He sounds great,” I simply comment, not trying to ask any questions yet because I didn’t want him to think that I was rushing him.

“He really was,” Aries replies, a small smile present on his face. But after a while, the smile slowly turned into a sad expression, and all Aries could do was take a deep breath and look away from the stars to look back at me.

“He was such a great person that I unconsciously built this idea of him inside my head that only left me hopeful. In the end, I realized we were just too different, and the friendship we had eventually fell apart,” Aries explains to me. It was so vague that I couldn’t really understand the whole meaning of it, but what I do know is that whatever happened to them left a scar, a scar that was big enough to put such a sad expression on him.

“Then do you regret whatever happened to the two of you?”

“Maybe.”

“Do you regret ever meeting him?” I ask next, and Aries suddenly looks down and gives out a pained smile before replying, “Never.”

I wanted to ask him something about it further, but before I could even say a thing, Aries looked at his watch and suddenly stood from the bench. “I think I should go so your mom can rest too.”

To be honest, I wanted him to stay so we could talk more, but I knew that it was best to let him go now before I end up doing or saying something that would ruin the mood. “Sure thing. Let me just smoke another stick and walk you out.”

Aries nods his head and walks back inside the house while I pull out another stick from the cigarette pack. I light the cigarette and look up at the sky for one last time to stare at the moon. As I stared at it, I couldn’t help but feel relieved. Aries opened up to me, and that somehow lifted a heavy weight off me.

After finishing my last cigarette, I went back inside the house as well. I was looking for Aries, but then I spotted him talking to my mom in the kitchen. I wanted to interrupt them, but instead, I moved back and decided to eavesdrop on them.

“Dom doesn’t really like going to school, so when he told me that he wanted to be a teacher, I was surprised,” I overhear my mom say. “I was honestly worried at first, but seeing him now, I feel like he can actually do it.”

“I don’t think there really is anything for you to worry about. Dom is a wonderful student. He listens and expresses himself better than anyone I know. He will become a great teacher,” Aries suddenly praises, making my cheeks heat up because I didn’t expect him to say such a thing to my mother.

I could hear mama giggle, probably thrilled to hear someone say such things to his troublesome son. I got ready to head to the kitchen so mama won’t end up saying anything else, but just before I could even take a step, my mother suddenly told him, “By the way, thank you for helping Dom get that job at the computer shop. I’m not really happy about him wanting to take a part-time job, but it has really helped us.”

Shit.

Shit! I totally forgot that I lied about my job and told mama that Aries was the one who helped me with it. I’m so screwed! I should have told Aries that I was—

“No problem,” I overhear Aries say with no hint of hesitation, making me widen my eyes in shock. “I’m glad I’m able to help.”

Mama didn’t say anything further, so I quickly went to the kitchen to show myself. “Uhm, Aries, you’re heading out now, right?”

Aries looks at me and nods his head before looking back at my mother. “Thank you again for having me tonight, Mrs. Yade. The food really was good.”

“The pleasure is mine. Please take care of my son for me,” mama then tells him, and Aries doesn’t answer but gives out a small smile instead before turning back to me.

The two of us finally head out of the house. I walked him to his car, and like earlier, there was this awkward tension between us. But when we got to where he was parked, I turned to him and said, “A-Aries, thanks for covering for me back there. That job…I didn’t want mama to—”

“Thank you for today, Dom. I know you’re tired after what happened, so rest well,” Aries suddenly interrupts, not even letting me finish my sentence. I was caught off guard that I wasn’t even able to say anything anymore. So Aries just takes a step closer, and I thought he was going to give me a hug, but he stops himself and heads back inside his car instead.

He starts the car and looks at me through the window before finally driving off. I stared at his car until I could no longer see it in a distance. But just before I could turn away, a guy riding a motorcycle suddenly parked beside me.

It was Gelo.

“Who the hell was that?” Gelo asks before removing his helmet.

I stare at the distance for a while and then glance at the moon for one last time before looking back at Gelo. “No one important,” I say, and Gelo doesn’t force me to explain further.

“Anyway, did you buy the fruits I asked you to buy?”

“I did. You owe me big-time Adlawan. Fruits are hella expensive.”

“Yeah yeah. Let’s just head inside. Mama’s probably waiting.”

end.

(16) Ghosted

THE NEXT DAY I was expecting Arthur to ask me about what happened yesterday. I thought Aries would have at least told him that he had visited my house and eaten dinner with us, but Arthur didn’t open it up. I guess it’s pretty strange to tell your little brother that you went to his friend’s house.

“Good morning, Art,” I greet as Arthur sits beside me. When did I even start calling him Art as a nickname? And when did he start allowing me to call him that?

“You seem to be in a good mood,” he tells me while I’m watching random videos on my phone.

Without removing my eyes from the screen, I told him, “Just watching something funny.”

Arthur didn’t say anything and moved closer to check my phone. The two of us started watching together, and then we both laughed at how stupid it was.

“You guys watching porn?” A voice suddenly interrupts, making Arthur and I look away from my phone so fast, which makes it look like we actually were watching porn. As expected, the ridiculous claim came from our uncensored friend, Victoria del Rosario.

Vicki looks at us with dark circles in her eyes. She throws her bag on the floor and immediately lies her head on her desk before complaining, “The preliminary exams are killing me. If I memorize another word, I’m going to kill myself.”

“That’s what you get for studying last minute,” I fire back, and Vicki just gives me the finger in response.

“Easy for you to say. You’re being tutored by the most qualified senior in our institute.” This time, it came from another friend of ours, PE Major Justin Austria. Justin also looks exhausted, but he tries his best not to show it as he sits beside Arthur.

“Art, can you ask your brother to tutor me too? My senior partner’s too busy,” Justin then says. When did Justin start calling him that nickname too? Seriously, nicknames pop out of nowhere, and we tend to just go with it.

“You think he’d want to tutor you? He’s already teaching the worst student here,” Vicki then fires back, and this time, it’s my turn to give her the middle finger.

Arthur, unbothered by the fact that we’re even talking about his brother like this, takes a notebook out of his bag and suddenly suggests to us, “If you guys are so worried about the test tomorrow, why don’t we study at the library together after classes? I think Aries wouldn’t mind. And we can ask him some questions too.”

“Wait, seriously? Let’s do it!” Vicki excitedly says, and Justin’s obviously on board with the idea as well.

I smiled and nodded my head, but for some reason, I didn’t feel as excited as they did. My after-class sessions with Aries felt special to me even though I know well enough that he doesn’t feel the same way. I didn’t want them to ruin that moment for me, but Aries isn’t mine to claim. I’ll be such a jerk if I start gatekeeping an actual person.

Just because we got a little closer after what happened to us yesterday, I don’t think I should act like we’re already best of friends.

“What do you think, Dom?” Justin asks me, and I put on a fake smile and pretend the idea doesn’t bother me.

“That sounds like a great idea. Studying alone with him was starting to get boring anyway,” I lied, and my friends started celebrating before our professor made his entrance.

The entire time my head was in a knot. I was preoccupied with the thought that I was starting to have the desires to keep Aries to myself, which is a thought that made me angry because I’m not supposed to have such thoughts in the first place. But as I try my best to think of justifications, I start remembering the moon the two of us were staring at last night. I remember the silence, the atmosphere, and the warmth that he had when he sat close beside me.

I remember my heart beating fast as I stare at him, my eyes on his lips that I can’t seem to erase in my memory. I remember him opening up to me about his past and just feeling wholly relieved right after.

This feeling…

I know full well what these feelings mean, but I don’t have the strength to even admit it. Maybe it’s not really what I think it is. Maybe it’s because Aries has saved me dozens of times, and I’m just misunderstanding my own feelings. But do people misunderstand their own feelings? Is that even a thing?

Is it possible for someone to be wrong about what they genuinely feel in their heart?

…

It was lunch break, and everyone in the cafeteria was either holding a book or reading notes. Tomorrow was the preliminary exam, which is the first test to determine if you’ve learned something or if you’ve just successfully wasted the first few months of college.

Most of the students didn’t have the time to grab a bite, which was a good thing for me because I didn’t have to pretend like I wasn’t hungry anymore when, in fact, I just didn’t have the extra cash with me.

“You guys remember what Mrs. Estrada said last week? I think I forgot to write it down,” Vicki asks one of our classmates who’s also at our table.

Since this is a do-or-die situation, the group of friends in our class decided to join forces and exchange notes. It wasn’t a problem for me since I’m sociable enough. But I’m not really the type to hang out with people I’m not close to, so I’m glad this is only because of the exams.

“Hi, freshies!” Someone suddenly greets us, making Vicki, Justin,  Arthur, and I lift our heads up to check who it is.

Three seniors from a different institute appeared in front of us. One of them was holding a folder, and when we all looked back at them, they started searching for someone at our table. I couldn’t tell who they were looking for, but when one of the female seniors saw Arthur, she suddenly pointed at him and said, “There he is. That’s him. Aries’s brother.”

Arthur was obviously surprised, but before he could even ask them why they were looking for him, the senior in the middle suddenly handed him a paper and told him, “I know you guys are all working hard for tomorrow’s exams, but we’re from the foundation comity, and we’re looking for applicants for the freshmen pageant that will be held next month.”

Seriously? They just had to do this now when everyone was obviously busy.

“Someone recommended that Mr. Arthur Buan is the perfect representative for the Institute of Education. What do you say?” The woman asks, and Arthur looks back at us, obviously uncomfortable.

Thankfully Vicki notices his reaction, so she looks back at the seniors and tells them, “Our friend isn’t the type to join in such activities. I’m sure other handsome guys in our institute would be willing to join.”

“Is that so?” The woman asks, dejected as she pulls the paper away from Art’s face.

I thought they were about to leave, but then another one of them suddenly pointed in my direction and told me, “How about you? You’re a handsome and manly fellow. I think with the right training, you can win the pageant. We just need to find a female partner who’ll fit your vibe.”

Like Arthur, I wasn’t the type to join in such events, so I decided to decline the oh-so-generous offer. But just as I’m about to speak, one of my classmates looks back at them and suddenly says, “Is it a gay pageant? Because he definitely would win if it were.”

The seniors were surprised, while some of my other classmates laughed at the supposed joke, except for Vicki and my friends. This is why I no longer hang out with people I’m not close with. They think saying these things are so funny.

“Excuse me, but that—” Before Vicki could even make a scene for my sake, I grabbed the paper that one of the seniors was holding, writing down my information and putting my signature before handing it back to them.

“Tell me when the rehearsal starts,” I say with a forced smile, and the seniors become excited.

“Excellent! We’ll call you soon—” the woman pauses and glances at the paper before adding, “Domingo.”

As soon as the seniors walked off, I took a deep breath and looked back at my classmate, who had no problem outing me in front of people I barely knew. “Excuse me, but what did you say earlier? I didn’t quite get it.”

My classmate, who I remember is called Matthew, tries to laugh it off. He seemed to be surprised that I brought the subject up and was looking at the other students at our table, hoping to get rescued from this awkward tension. “Dude, relax. It was just a joke.”

“Well, it’s not fucking funny, you piece of shit,” I angrily say, which somehow angers him too.

Matthew suddenly stands from his seat and shoots me a look—a look that shows that he’s not going to let someone like me talk to him that way. “What are you, a high schooler? You’re acting like I’ve persecuted you when it was only a joke.”

“I get enough crap in my life, so I don’t need some DUDE to make jokes about my sexuality,” I fire back, standing from my seat as well. Everyone around us thought we were going to start a fight, but thankfully Vicki pulled me back down in my seat while Justin went in front of Matthew to calm him down.

“Alright, let’s relax. We don’t want any trouble man,” Justin says, pushing Matthew away from me. He then turns to Arthur and Vicki and nods his head, signaling them to take me so we can leave the cafeteria.

Vicki grabs hers and my things while Art takes his and Justin’s. The two of them dragged me out so I could cool my head too. Honestly, I don’t know why I even exploded like that. Maybe I was already in a bad mood, and his little comment didn’t help me at all.

“Seriously, guys whose names came from the bible are major red flags,” Vicki says when the three of us made our way to the pavilion. “If I were you, I would have kicked his balls to see how much of a man he really is.”

“I don’t really agree with the kicking of balls part, but that guy had no right to out you like that in front of strangers. I’m sure you felt really uncomfortable,” Art then adds.

I take a deep breath and stare at my two kind friends with a soft smile on my face. Looks like they really have my back.

“Thanks, guys. And sorry for getting you involved with the drama. I guess that’s the perk for having someone like me as your friend,” I jokingly say, but Vicki and Arthur just look at each other before grabbing hold of my shoulders.

“Right. With someone as expressive, amazing, and handsome as you, we’re bound to encounter troublesome perks to it,” Vicki comments.

I was honestly so touched that I thought I’d end up crying, but to avoid such an emotional outburst, I pointed inside my mouth and pretended like I was going to vomit, making Vicki hit my shoulder instead while Arthur laughed beside her.

Justin eventually catches up on us, reporting that Matthew and his friends left the cafeteria because some of our classmates started ganging up on him and telling him that what he said was wrong. However, Matthew still insisted that it was a harmless joke and we were all just being sensitive about it.

Anyway, thanks to my friends, my mood got better. We went through the rest of the day with no worries, and despite feeling selfish earlier, I eventually felt excited about studying together with them.

After classes, my friends and I went to the library to look for Aries, but when I got to our usual table, he was nowhere to be found. I pulled out my phone to check if he had sent a message, but he didn’t. It’s strange because it’s rare for him to be late like this.

“Did he have a meeting or something?” I ask, and Arthur pulls out his phone, too, to send him a message.

“I’m certain that he went to school. I saw him this morning wearing his uniform before he left home,” Arthur says, certain that his brother should be here, but he wasn’t.

We waited for him for a couple more minutes, but Aries never showed up, so we eventually studied without him.

Because of the exams, I didn’t think much of him. I was more focused on passing, so when the examination day came, I occupied my mind with the answers I was desperately trying to remember and not the senior who didn’t show up on our last tutoring session.

“Pass your papers, everyone! Times up!” Our professor announced.

I stare at my paper one last time before passing it to the student in front of me. As soon as I passed my paper, I stood from my seat and stretched my hands.

“It’s finally over!” I shout, and my classmates start laughing and cheering. Even our professor was looking at me, but she didn’t mind.

Vicki and my other friends ran to me as we discussed our answers together. This was our last exam, which means I successfully survived the ever-so-terrifying hell week.

I always dreaded exams because the results were always the same. I failed, or I barely passed. But this time was different. I knew the answers, and I had this sense of relief when I was done with it, and this was all thanks to my senior partner.

After exams, I sent him a message, thanking him for everything he’s done, but Aries never replied back. He doesn’t even read the messages I sent him.

Was this the feeling of being ghosted?

I thought of three reasons for this: One, he was just very busy with his own school works. Two, he felt awkward after what happened to us and just didn’t want to talk to me again. Or three, he has finally finished his duties as my senior partner, and whatever our relationship was had now come to an end.

To be honest, I felt a little sad. It seems like I was the only one who thought our friendship would progress after that night when we were both staring at the moon together. I thought he opened up to me a little, and I thought we’d finally talk to each other more casually now, but it didn’t.

Nothing like that happened at all. And I continued my college life as usual.

I thought everything would be the same, and I was starting to accept that.

But then, one day, I saw him.

In a place where I wasn’t supposed to…

I saw him standing right in front of me again, and despite my constant denials, my universe once again came to a complete stop.

“Aries?”

end.

(17) Bill Out

“MAMA! I’M HEADING TO work!” I shout as I walk towards the front door of our house. Mom rushes out of her bedroom to catch up to me, already panting despite only moving a few steps.

“Ma, I told you to just stay in bed,” I nag, sounding more like a mom than she is.

“I know, but I just wanted to tell you about my medicine. I don’t have any left, and I still need to take them for five more days. After your work, head to the drugstore and buy some for me,” she tells me, opening the wallet she was holding to pull out some cash.

I waited for her for a while, but all of a sudden, she put her wallet down and suddenly started laughing at herself. “Maybe you can do it tomorrow. I’m sure you’ll be tired when you get back,” she tells me instead, obviously embarrassed.

Mama didn’t have to say it, but I already knew why she had to take it back. She probably doesn’t have money in her wallet anymore, especially when she had to pay the bills the other day.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll buy it for you,” I tell her anyway. Mama was about to say something, but I immediately left the house because she was only going to stop me if I allowed her to speak.

To be honest, I don’t have extra cash with me either. Other than the need to wear a uniform to take the exam, I had to pay for my tuition fee, which was most of the money I earned from working part-time. I knew mom had to buy her medicine, so I didn’t ask for money for my tuition.

One problem just leads to another. When I thought that finishing the exams would solve a lot of things, it just added more issues. I’m still pretty much broke, my mom is still very much sick, and Aries no longer speaks to me. He doesn’t talk to me because I haven’t seen him in school yet, but he doesn’t answer my messages anymore.

For some reason, it pisses me off.

Did I do something wrong? Is he purposely trying to avoid me? Was he pretending to be okay with being in our house but was actually dying to leave, and now he doesn’t like me anymore? Was hugging him at the hospital overkill? Did I step over his boundaries?

Why am I thinking about all these things?! I shouldn’t be worked up over this because I have much more important problems to worry about, but here I am, agonizing over a boy I barely know who might not even be thinking about me anymore.

I should really do something about this. Maybe I could look for him in school and ask him why he’s ignoring me so I could finally get these feelings in check. He can just say that he hates me, and then I can eventually move on from whatever this is.

“Good evening, Mr. Sunday. How was your exam?” Big Joe, our bouncer, asks when I finally arrive at the club.

“I think I aced it,” I reply, patting his shoulder and heading inside.

As soon as I got in, everyone started greeting me, instantly making my mood feel better. I guess, other than the fact that I got assaulted here last time, the people in Red Light are kind to me. I feel like we’re all the same, and we understand each other. Being surrounded by them just makes me feel good.

“Dom, I’m working on the inventory. Can you handle the restroom?” One of the cleaners asks, and I give them an okay sign before heading to the lockers to change into my uniform.

“ Maybe I could ask Madam Scarlet for another advance pay, “ I whisper to myself, opening my locker and shoving my bag inside before changing my shirt.

When I got out, I opened the door and decided to visit Madam Scarlet’s dressing room. I know she just gave me money last time for my school uniform, but I don’t know anyone else who can lend me money. I’ll just have to work extra hard.

“Madam Scarlet. It’s me, Dom,” I announce outside her dressing room.

“Come in!” She replies, and so I open the door and step inside the room that’s once again filled with clothes and props. I walked further inside and was expecting to see her putting on makeup like usual, but when I got to the vanity, I was surprised to see an attractive man instead.

“S-sorry! I was looking for my boss, Madam Scarlet. I thought she’d be here,” I quickly say, and the man in front of me starts laughing.

“Relax, Dom, it’s me.”

“Madam Scarlet?!” I ask in shock, and the handsome man in front of me gives me a flirtatious wave.

“Well, for now, it’s Michael Redford. But you can still call me Scarlet here,” Madam Scarlet then says before taking the cigarette from the ashtray so she can get a quick smoke. “I just went somewhere and paid some bills, so I haven’t prepared myself for tonight yet.”

“Is that so?”

I guess now isn’t the right time to ask for advance payment.

“So, what do you need, Dom?” Madam Scarlet then asks, exhaling the smoke inside her mouth and gently putting the cigarette down.

I awkwardly scratch the back of my head and decide to shoot my shot since I’m already here. If worse comes to worst, I’ll just ask for money from Gelo. He might have a little cash in his that I can burrow.

“My mom just got confined in the hospital a few days ago, and I was hoping I could get my salary for this week so I could buy her medicine,” I tell her, sounding like a child asking his parent for a toy he saw at the toy store.

Madam Scarlet was obviously surprised by what I said, and I could tell that she was starting to pity me even more than she already did, but the look on her face made me realize that I really might end up burrowing money from Gelo instead.

“Oh Dom, I’m sorry, I really am. But I just paid the bills and the rent for this month. A few employees asked for the same thing too, but I had to reject them as well. I don’t want to be unfair here,” Madam Scarlet explained. And I wish she didn’t have to look so bad about it because she’s been really good to me since I started working for her.

“No, I perfectly understand.”

“I can release your salary by Sunday like everyone else. Do you think you can manage?” She then asks me.

I took a deep breath and got ready to tell her that I could do just that. But then, while I stood in front of her, I suddenly remembered the tip I received from last time’s table employee trial. I know I panicked and ended up making a scene, but this is the only way, right?

My head is clearer, and I know better now. Besides, our exams are finished now, so I don’t have to stress about anything else for a while. This might even help me forget about the fact that Aries is ghosting me.

“Madam Scarlet…” I say, pausing as I take another deep breath to ensure that this is something I really want. “If it’s alright with you, I would like to be a table employee.”

The room becomes silent in an instant. I could tell that Madam Scarlet was surprised because she couldn’t even say a thing when she heard me say it.

“I know I made a huge mess last time, but I’m ready now. I’ve thought about it, and I think I can do better this time,” I try to explain.

I prepare myself in case Madam Scarlet tries to convince me otherwise, but to my surprise, she takes her cigarette and inhales the smoke again before saying, “Dom, this is a chance that I can’t give away so freely. You’ve experienced it yourself, and you’ve seen how this job isn’t cut out for everyone. I want you to understand that what you’re going to do is a very challenging commitment.”

“I understand,” I quickly reply.

Madam Scarlet stares at me for a couple of seconds. After finishing her cigarette, she puts it back down on the ashtray and says, “Alright, head to the dressing room and get ready.”

“T-thank you! I won’t let you down this time,” I say, and Madam Scarlet nods her head as I run out of the room.

When I got to the T.Es dressing room, the table employees were surprised to see me. Jack, who greatly helped me out last time, walks towards me and furrows his brows. He’s probably confused as to why I’m even here.

“Good evening,” I simply say.

The T.Es looked at each other. And as if they already understood why I was even there, every one of them started giving me a soft smile. I could tell it was a smile that had a worry in it, but it was a smile that was still welcoming.

“Well then, come with me so I can get you ready. The customers will be arriving soon.”

Like last time, my chest was beating fast. I couldn’t tell if I was simply anxious or if I was scared that Jonah—my previous customer—might visit again and take his revenge for embarrassing him. Jack told me that it was unlikely, and the bouncers were already keeping a close eye on the customers entering the bar, but I was still very nervous about it.

“Alright, Dom, remember what I taught you. You can’t go blank on us again. One finger on the neck means you want us to watch over your customer. Two fingers on the neck mean—”

“Immediate help,” I finish, and Jack puts the makeup brush away from my face and gives me a serious look.

“Madam Scarlet isn’t the type to give second chances. When you back out on something, she usually doesn’t allow you to do it again, but I guess she sees something in you, so don’t blow it this time. Make sure you really have what it takes to do this job,” Jack continues to say.

“I understand.”

“Alright, your makeup is done. The doors will be open soon, so get ready,” Jack tells me, and I get up from my chair and stare at my reflection in the mirror.

Today I was wearing a flight steward’s uniform because that’s today’s theme. It looks like the stage employees are also working on a Top Gun performance because most are wearing pilot uniforms.

“ This is for you, mama, “ I whisper to myself before finally heading out of the dressing room.

Like the others, the floor employees were surprised to see me wearing the same clothes the T.Es were wearing. But instead of nagging at me or scolding me for still pushing through despite what happened last week, they ended up cheering for me instead.

“Can you fasten my seatbelt for me, Mr. Sunday!” One of the waiters teased, making me giggle. One of them even whistled at me.

“Dom!” Someone then shouts. I turned my head and saw Gin waving at me at the bar area, so I ran towards him to properly greet him.

“Good evening, Gin,” I say, and Gin smiles at me and looks at me from head to toe.

“So Michael wasn’t joking. He really did give you a second shot with this,” Gin says, referring to Madam Scarlet. “I don’t want to say anything because we all have our reasons for doing what we do here. But know that we’re here to watch over you. Last time might not have been a great first experience for you, but as I said earlier, just have fun.”

“I will. Thank you, Gin.”

“Alright, looks like the doors are open. Break a leg.”

I smile and nod my head before running out to join the other table employees.

The night finally started, and the doors to the Red Light Bar opened. New and old customers started to swarm inside, and the music was once again blaring.

Compared to last time, I didn’t have a hard time getting a customer because I was already sitting at a table just minutes after the club opened. Apparently, these three guys were here last week, and they saw me with Jonah. One of them seemed to like me, so they took me as their companion for tonight, along with two other T.Es, which was better, in my opinion.

“Your name is Sunday? What an interesting name.” This cute guy sitting beside me asks with a playful grin on his face.

While his friends were busy talking to the employees they chose, the man beside me didn’t show any restrictions. He introduced himself as Sed and is a medical student. He’s five years older than me, but he was smaller. He told me he’d been a regular in this bar and frequently came here whenever he and his parents fought.

Sed was a talker, but unlike Jonah, he had this aura in him that was calming. He joked around sometimes and even told me if he ever becomes a doctor, I’ll get a lifetime of free checkups from him.

“How about you? Anything about yourself?” Sed asks before taking a sip of his cocktail.

“What do you want to know?” I ask back.

“Let’s see…what’s a handsome guy like you doing here? With your looks, you could be a model. Maybe even an actor,” he then says, making me laugh.

“I’m flattered. But I’m here because I enjoy meeting guys like yourself. The cute type,” I answer him, and Sed laughs and takes another sip of his drink.

“So you know how to flirt,” he teases, and this time, it’s my turn to take a sip of my drink.

“I’ve been practicing.”

“To who? Now I’m curious.”

The two of us continue our conversation. I don’t really reveal much of myself, and I just tend to get away with his questions by saying flattery words. I could tell the Sed noticed it too, but he didn’t really mind. He enjoys my company, and that’s all that matters.

The rest of the night went surprisingly well and I didn’t even have to do the finger signals. Sed was an amazing customer. He’s flirty but knows his boundaries and doesn’t try to touch me. He drinks a lot, which is good for me because of the commission. And when the stage employees started dancing, he was giving away large amounts of tips.

For the first time, I was glad I had this face. If I didn’t, Sed wouldn’t have liked me, and I wouldn’t have had a customer.

“My parents are such assholes. I already went to medical school for them, and now they want to set me up for marriage. What a joke,” Sed complains, obviously now a bit drunk after all the cocktails he had.

I looked at his friends to ask for help because I was afraid he might end up saying something that he shouldn’t reveal in public, but it seemed like they were all busy having fun with the other employees too.

“Do you know how hard it is to explain that I don’t like women? I’ve told my parents a hundred times, but they pretend to be deaf!” Sed continues to complain.

“Some parents have this mindset that they can choose who we can be just because they raised us,” I say, which wasn’t anything too deep. I only said whatever came out of my head, but Sed looked so touched that I thought he’d cry for some reason.

“You know, Sunday, there’s something about you. Other than your face, you have a pure soul that I really like.”

“T-Thank you?” I awkwardly ask back.

Sed finishes his drink, and then he suddenly leans close to me, making my body stiff. He stared at me for a while, and up close, I could smell the alcohol and the expensive perfume he had on. He didn’t say anything for a time, but then he gave out this ever-so-charming smile that practically made my cheeks blush.

“ Sunday… “ he whispers. “ May I bill you out? “

As soon as Sed asked me that question, my eyes instantly widened in shock.

Bill out, a term I only heard in this bar which I thought I’d never encounter. Apparently, it’s when a customer and an employee head out of the night to do…whatever. But before you leave, the customer has to pay for the employee’s remaining work hours.

“Me?” I stupidly ask because I know how expensive that would be for him because there are still a few hours left before I clock out.

Sed laughs, and then he nods his head. “Who else am I talking to?”

Okay, Dom, take a deep breath and think about this. I know you’re a little tipsy too, but get a hold of yourself. He’s asking to take you out, and you both know full well that you’re not heading out to eat ramen or anything innocent like that. I can obviously decline him, but this is such a huge opportunity. I can get a lot of money out of this, and Sed knows that.

And it’s not offensive or anything. This is my job, and he knows that this is my job. Besides, he’s pretty cute. I might actually need something like this to get my mind off Aries.

“ Sure, “ I finally whisper back, and Sed smiles and immediately runs to the reception to fix his payment.

While Sed was at the reception, his friends started whistling and teasing him, but he didn’t mind.

“Sed finally billed someone out!” One of his friends cheered, and the rest of the employees at our table laughed.

I didn’t exactly know what to do because I obviously hadn’t done this before. Thankfully the T.E on my table, Willow, moves close to me and starts explaining the situation.

“I can’t believe you agreed to get billed out on your second time as a table employee. I didn’t know you had it in you, Sunday,” Willow teases, making me nudge his side.

“ I got lost in the moment, okay? “ I whisper to him, almost like I was worried that someone might hear us.

“Well, fucking enjoy yourself since you’re already lost in the moment. Sed is a regular and is a big spender. He’s a good guy and never bills anyone out because he said he’s picky. And don’t even worry about feelings. He knows perfectly well that this is part of the job,” Willow explained, and I nodded my head throughout, mentally taking note of everything.

“And if you’re gonna have sex, don’t forget the condom. It’s still better to be safe than sorry,” Willow then says, immediately making me stand from my seat in panic.

“Y-You don’t have to say that,” I tell him, and Willow and the other employees start laughing.

Sed finally finished paying his bill, and before I knew it, we were already out of the bar.

I couldn’t help but feel nervous. Sed was a good-looking guy, and I’m not really as innocent as I may seem. I haven’t really had sex with anyone yet, but I’ve made out with a few guys before. It’s no big deal. Even Gelo knows it.

“Where shall we go?” I awkwardly ask, making Sed laugh.

“Loosen up. I’m not going to bite,” Sed teases. “But I do have an idea,” he then adds, grabbing my hand and pulling me to a dark aisle where no one could see us.

He leans on the wall and drapes his arms around my neck before leaning close to my lips. “ I’ve always wanted to do this in public. Want to try it out? “ He whispers.

I gulp and stare back at him. But as I was staring, Sed moved his head a little, making the light from the light post hit his face. For a quick second, a familiar face appears in front of me.

It was Aries.

I couldn’t pull away, and I couldn’t even deny the growing guilt I felt because everything else I was about to do was rooted in these feelings that I wished I didn’t have.

“ Kiss me, “ I whisper to him, and Sed smirks and pulls me towards him so he can finally press his lips on mine.

I could taste him in an instant. His lips were sweet and fruity, and his tongue was hot and wet. He pushes himself deeper into me as we both make out in this dark aisle where no one else can see us.

As things got heated, I pushed him against the wall and grabbed one of his legs up, pushing myself further so we could both press ourselves together. I could feel his hard bulge on me, and I could tell that he felt mine, too, because Sed started moving his hips in a slow motion that turned me on even more.

I pull my lips away from him, and a moan instantly escapes from his mouth.

“ You’re fucking sexy, Sunday. Do you know that? “ he whispers to me, and I push my lips on him for the second time.

My mind was completely blank as I shared passionate kisses with a complete stranger. For a moment, I felt guilty, and then after a while, I felt angry. I felt angry that I had to do this to earn money. I felt angry that I had to think of Aries at the worst possible time. And I felt angry that despite all these thoughts, this felt extremely good.

So this is what it feels like to embrace your sexuality.

This is what it feels like to touch someone who feels the same thing.

We didn’t know each other. We didn’t have feelings for each other. Heck, Sed probably doesn’t even care to know what my real name is. But even with all that, everything felt so good at the moment.

“Sunday!”

I blinked and realized I was already standing in front of the bar. My hair was a mess, and three buttons of my shirt were undone. Big Joe, who was guarding the door, snapped his fingers in front of me, making me flinch and go back to my senses.

“Man, you alright?”

I swallow the lump in my throat and wipe my lips which still had a lingering taste of the man I was with a few moments ago.

“I think I am,” I answer, looking down at my pants and checking if I still have a hard bulge. When it seemed like it finally calmed down, I took a deep breath and went inside the bar.

“Sunday’s back!” Someone announced as soon as I got in, and everyone instantly started cheering, making me feel embarrassed.

There weren’t any customers left, and most of the employees were already cleaning the bar. Some were even counting the tips they got from their customers.

“Dom! Over here!” Gin shouted, making me walk towards him.

When I got to the bar area, Jack and a few other T.Es approached me and started asking me what had happened. Thankfully Gin got them to leave and asked them to continue fixing up.

“Want some water?” Gin asks as I sit on one of the stools.

I nod my head in reply, and so Gin takes a bottle of water from the fridge and hands it over to me.

“Thanks,” I say, chugging the water down as Gin looks at the notebook in front of him. He searches for something, and then he pulls out a couple of bills from the cash box. To my surprise, he hands them to me, almost making me spill the water from my mouth.

“W-Wait a second…this is for me?”

“Yes, this is from your bill out , as well as the tip Sed left for you,” Gin explains, grabbing my hand and forcing me to take the money. “Since you’re no longer a cleaner, you’ll get your pay on the 15th and the 30th. Your commission will already be added there.”

“That’s different too?!” I asked in shock, and Jack and the others who overheard me started laughing.

“That’s what you call pretty privileges,” Jack teases before draping his arm around me. “So, how was it? Did you put on a condom?” he then asks, making me feel shy all over again.

“N-no, we didn’t do anything like that. We were making out when someone suddenly called him. Sed stopped in an instant and left before thanking me,” I explain.

“That’s probably Greg. His boyfriend,” Jack then reveals, surprising me.

“Boyfriend!? He has a boyfriend?!”

“They’re always on and off. It’s almost like a game they play,” Jack says.

“Alright, you two, stop chatting and start cleaning so we can all go home,” Gin then scolds, immediately making Jack let go of me so he could help the others.

I stood from my seat and looked at the money in my hand with disbelief.

Bill out.

A term I just found out from this bar.

And a term that I might start liking from now on.

end.

(18) Unexpected

“YOU HAVE TO GIVE me your number next time,” one of our customers named Harold tells me before giving me a quick kiss on my cheek. He was taller than me and bigger in size. But I didn’t really mind, though. He was pretty cute, in my opinion.

“ You know I can’t. But if you want to see me again, you can always find me at the bar, “ I whisper, leaning close to him and slowly blowing on his neck, making him giggle.

Harold then looks at me and gently touches my chest before pulling something out of his pocket. “You know, I’ve always been conscious about my appearance. For a fat guy like me, thank you for making me feel special, Sunday. Here, take this,” Harold then says, grabbing my hand and forcing me to take the money.

“I can’t possibly—” 

“Don’t be shy now,” he insisted, and so I nodded my head and took them without any complaint.

“Thank you,” I say, leaning close to him and kissing him again. “And don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re going to make me sad.”

Harold laughs and decides to finally move away from me. He looks around the area, and then he covers his mouth to give out a laugh. “I can’t believe I made out with someone in a dark alley.”

“Next time I’ll choose a better location,” I tell him, and Harold laughs again.

“Thanks for tonight. You really made my Sunday unforgettable. I’ll see you next time, okay?”

“Okay. Bye, sweetheart.”

Harold waves his hand and walks away. As soon as he was gone, I took a deep breath and fixed my suit before walking back to the bar with a smile on my face.

Today marks my 3rd week as a Table Employee in the Red Light Bar. I don’t really notice the number of days anymore whenever I’m at work, but working for madam Scarlet has been a blessing to me. I still get harassed by some pigs once in a while, but I handle it better now.

I also meet different people from different walks of life that have stories that they’re dying to share. I get to express myself and my sexuality better, and the best part is that I earn more than I ever did in my lifetime.

Others might not understand people like us who are working in this kind of industry, but that’s okay. As long as I’m not hurting anyone, and I get to earn money and at the same time make others like us feel good, then I don’t care what they’d say about me.

“Mr. Sunday’s back!” Someone announced when I got back to the bar.

“That’s the fifth ‘bill out’ this week playboy. You’re going to tire your dick out,” one of the T.Es then tease, making the other employees and even the customers laugh.

“Haters gonna hate,” I reply, making the T.E roll his eyes.

“Sunday,” our receptionist for tonight, Anna, then calls out.

“What’s up? Did I get any complaints?” I jokingly asked when I approached her.

“Unfortunately, no. Someone’s just here to see you. He’s new so go easy on him. He’s at table 8,” Anna says, and I nod my head and make my way to the table to meet this customer.

When I got close to the table, I immediately put my game face on and got ready to welcome the newbie. “Good evening. Welcome to Red Light. My name is…Gelo?!” I shout in surprise, making the others turn around to look at us.

Gelo, my overbearing childhood friend, looks at me with a wide smile before taking a sip of the drink he ordered. “Oh, hi, Mr. Sunday. It’s great to see you.”

“Fuck you, man. What are you doing here?” I ask, sitting across from him and staring at him from head to toe because I couldn’t believe that he was even here in the first place.

“Hey, can’t a friend support another friend? I prefer to see women though, but this will do,” Gelo answers, looking around the bar and taking another sip of his drink.

“Can you even pay for that?” I ask, gesturing at the alcohol that he ordered for himself.

Gelo finishes the drink and then smiles at me before saying, “No. That’s why I came here, so that you can treat me to a couple of rounds.”

“I knew it. Get the fuck out of here. With your alcohol tolerance, I’m going to be broke before my shift even ends,” I then say, standing from my seat to grab his arm.

Gelo pulls his hand away from me effortlessly and suddenly fires back, “Let me remind you again, Mr. Sunday, that I’m the reason why you have this job.”

“Fuck you.”

“You’re welcome,” Gelo answers, making me sigh and head back to my seat in defeat.

Gelo ordered a bucket of beer with no shame, and all I could do was cross my arms. I guess this is the perfect time to rest. I have been entertaining customers all night, after all.

“So, you just got out of work?” I ask Gelo while I grab the service water that they gave to him earlier so I can take a sip of it.

“One of the cashiers asked to change schedules with me for a few days, so I’m on the morning shift for a while. I was then invited to a birthday party, but I got bored, so I just ended up going here. I wanted to see what the excitement is about, but it’s not really anything special,” Gelo truthfully answers.

“You’re not exactly the target market.”

“Hey, if there’s good booze, I’m always the target market.”

“Of course you are.”

The waiter arrived with the beer, and as the table employee that I am, I opened one bottle for Gelo and handed it over to him, which was something that I shouldn’t have done because he’ll definitely end up teasing me about it all night.

“Anyway, have you gotten over that guy that visited your house last time?” Gelo then asks, almost making me spill the beer that I was also drinking for myself.

“And who the hell told you about that?”

“Mama mentioned it to me when I saw her buying detergent at the store. She told me about him and said he hasn’t visited since, which is why you’re acting all mopey,” Gelo explains, almost making me snatch the bottle from his hand because of irritation.

And why did mama have to talk about Aries? I’ve been trying my best to avoid him, so I haven’t seen him again on campus. Not even once.

I’d gotten over him before things got serious. But whenever people talk about him, I still get irritated.

“He’s nothing important. He was just a senior partner who helped me during the exams. Mama’s just over-exaggerating,” I say, and I could tell that Gelo wasn’t buying it, but he decides not to push the discussion further.

“By the way, when you got back everyone was talking about you getting billed out. So you’re fucking your customers now too?” Gelo shamelessly asks this time before taking a sip of his beer. I finally snatch the bottle from his hand and finish it in one go, making him narrow his eyes in irritation. But surprisingly enough, he doesn’t say anything about it and just opens another bottle for himself.

“Why so defensive? It’s not like I asked a crazy question. That’s part of your job after all, and you know me enough to know that I’m not the type to judge people easily,” he then defends.

I slam the bottle down on the table and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand like some thug before answering him, “I don’t fuck any of my customers. That’s my limit. I only let them touch me, and sometimes we make out a little. One of my regulars sucked me off once, but that’s it.”

“Okay, now that’s too much information.”

“Well, you’re the one who wanted to know, so I only answered you,” I sarcastically replied.

The two of us continued talking to each other for a while until someone suddenly joined us at our table. It was Gin, the head bartender, and the co-owner of the bar. I thought he was just going to talk to me about my bill outs, but to my surprise, he goes to Gelo and pats his back instead.

“Gelo, it’s been a while,” Gin greets, immediately making my friend stand from his seat to greet him properly.

“Yo Richard! Glad to see you, man. How’s Michael?” Gelo asks back before giving Gin a quick hug. I couldn’t believe that Gelo’s close enough with Gin to just casually call him and madam Scarlet by their real names.

“Wait, Gelo, the buddy you mentioned when you told me about this job is Gin?” I finally ask, making the two of them look back at me.

“Oh yeah, I haven’t told you, haven’t I? Richard and I go way back. During the time I was working as a bartender at a different club, he and Michael would regularly visit. That’s when I met them,” Gelo casually explains like it’s not something important.

“I was hoping he’d work in this bar, but Gelo said he’s already working at some convenience store,” Gin says.

“I don’t wanna go back to working at bars. I get in a bunch of trouble every time,” Gelo then replies, and Gin and I couldn’t help but agree.

The three of us were about to continue our conversation, but then the employees suddenly started crowding the entrance, welcoming a couple of customers who entered the bar.

“What’s going on?” I ask, curious to see who the guests are. “Do we have famous customers here?”

“That rarely happens,” Gin replies, stretching his neck to see better. When he finally saw who they were, he goes “ Ah~ “ and looks back at us like it’s not a big deal. “It’s just Jack’s customers. Those groups of guys are from rich families, so they’re big spenders, and they give large tips. The other employees usually fight over them,” Gin explains to us.

“Is that so? Then shouldn’t you try to introduce yourself to them too, Dom? Who knows, they might find you handsome and bill you out,” Gelo then suggests, which was actually a suggestion that I agreed on.

“I think I should,” I say, looking at Gin.

Gin nods his head to agree to it too. But when I stood up and got ready to head to them, Gin suddenly grabbed my arm and stopped me. “Wait, Dom, I don’t know if you’re bothered about these things, but I think some of those guys are studying at Librada University. You’re a student there too, right? You can sit this one out if you want.”

Whoa, they’re students in LU? This is the first time I’m going to encounter that here even though this is relatively close to the campus. It’s not really a problem to me either since being seen working here and them being a customer are both equally awkward.

“I don’t have to hide. But I guess it’s better if I keep a distance,” I answer, sitting back in my seat.

Gin respects my decision and gives Gelo a free bucket of beer before heading back to the bar area.

While I sat back on the sofa, I couldn’t help but glance at the customers that Jack and the others were entertaining. There were about eight of them, and they were loud. Most of them were pretty handsome, not gonna lie, but before I could stare at each and every one of their faces, Jack leads them to a private room, making me unable to see who they were.

“Hey, Mr. Sunday,” Gelo suddenly calls out, making me look back at him.

“What now?” I ask him.

Gelo looks at me and smiles before asking, “Can I have some snacks too?”

“I’m seriously banning you from returning to this bar,” I threaten. But like the true friend that I am, I stood from my seat and started searching for some snack I could feed my very broke and annoying customer

…

“Please, don’t come back. You literally finished three buckets of beer all by yourself,” I say as I walk Gelo out of the bar.

“If you didn’t stop me, I could have had more,” Gelo playfully says, which I knew for a fact was pretty likely to happen.

“Are you sure you can head back home safely? I know you said you left your motorcycle at your house, but I don’t trust you enough. I’d come with you, but I still have two hours left in my shift, and I don’t want you to stay longer because you’d definitely bankrupt me,” I tell him, and Gelo just laughs and hits my back.

“Don’t worry about me. You know I’m good with my liquor,” he reassures me, and all I could do is believe him. “Anyway, thanks for the free drinks. When I get my next salary, I’ll treat you out too.”

“I’ll wait for it.”

Gelo pats my back again before finally waving goodbye.

I watched him until he got into a jeep. And when he was gone, I went back to the bar.

At this hour, there were still a lot of customers. This is what the others call the happy hour. It’s when most of the customers are drunk, so they tend to drink more and give bigger tips. That’s why the employees have to work extra hard to entertain the customers and keep the high going and the money flowing.

As a previous floor employee, this was the worst hour because the customers made a lot more mess. But as a table employee, this was definitely heaven.

“ Should I try sharing a table with the others? “ I ask myself as I look around the bar.

I saw one of the employees entertaining a group of newbies and decided to join him, but then one of the waiters suddenly grabbed my arm to stop me. “Sunday, can you bring this bucket to the VIP room? I need to serve more tables,” he says, handing me the bucket of beer.

“No problem.”

“Thanks, man.”

The waiter pats my back and runs back to the kitchen as I walk my way to the VIP room where Jack’s customers are. I’m just giving them their drinks, so I’ll be out before I know it. As much as I don’t really care if they see me or not, I still don’t want to be in an awkward position in the future if I end up seeing them on campus.

When I arrived outside the VIP room, I adjusted the bucket in my arm so I could knock on the door. But just as I was about to hit my knuckles on the door, someone suddenly cleared their throat behind me.

“Are those our drinks?” A voice suddenly asks, my eyes widening in surprise because of how familiar it sounded. For some reason, my entire body stiffened, and I couldn’t move from where I was standing.

“Excuse me, are those our drinks? You can just head inside and place it on the table,” he continues to say.

I’m starting to question myself if what I’m assuming right now is correct or not. But given the situation, this assumption was definitely impossible. There’s just no way this is the same person that I’m thinking of right now.

“S-Sorry…” I say, slowly turning to finally face the mysterious man.

I kept things neutral, and I was trying to manage my expectations, but when I finally turned around to face him, I dropped the bucket of beer in my hand because of shock, and then, at that very moment, my entire universe stopped.

The music in the background sounded muffled, and all I could hear was my heart beating so close to my ear.

Aries was standing in front of me.

Aries Buan, the senior who I was starting to have a crush on but then ended up ghosting me, was now standing in front of me in a gay bar I’m currently working at.

“Aries?” I ask, and I can tell that he’s equally shocked as I am.

He stood in front of me, not moving a single inch. He was wearing this leather jacket, and he used his black shades as a headband to hold his hair. His vibe was completely different from when we were at school.

“Aries…” I call out this time.

I thought Aries would start explaining himself, or maybe even pretend that he doesn’t know who I am and just ignore me completely, but Aries doesn’t do any of that. Instead, he turns away from me and makes a run for it.

I curse under my breath and chase after him even though I shouldn’t be chasing him like this.

Some of the employees were calling out for me when they saw me running, but I ignored them and continued chasing after my senior partner. When I got out of the bar, I saw him entering his car, so I immediately ran to where he was, slamming his door shut so he wouldn’t be able to get inside.

“What the fuck are you doing? Leave me alone!” He angrily asks.

“Aries, w-what are you doing here?” I ask even though I already have an idea of why he was here in the first place.

Aries looks at me for a quick second but immediately looks away. He doesn’t say anything to me, but then he kicks the wheel of his car and starts cursing.

I know that I shouldn’t have followed him here. Maybe I should have just pretended like I didn’t know him back at the bar so he wouldn’t have to act like this. But for some reason, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t leave him alone. I couldn’t leave him alone even though I was supposed to be mad at him. I couldn’t leave him alone even though he was the one who ignored me first.

“I’ve been working at this bar for about two months now,” I tell him, even though it’s already too late for that. “I’m pretty much aware that you know what this bar is, but I don’t want to make this harder than it already is. Tell me you were dragged here by your friends, or you were just here to have casual drinks. Tell me anything, and I’ll nod my head and believe you. And I’ll never mention this to you again.”

Aries removes the sunglasses on his head so he can brush his hair back. He still didn’t look at me, but when he finally did, he looked straight into my eyes and put on a serious expression. “I’m gay, Dom,” he finally says, making me look away from him this time.

No…

You’re not supposed to tell me that.

You’re not supposed to tell me, a guy who’s practically a stranger to you, such an important matter about you.

“I didn’t hear anything,” I say instead, finally turning around to head back to the bar, but Aries grabs my arm and forces me to look back at him.

“Don’t act stupid. You had a hunch, didn’t you? You saw through me. I could tell you saw through me,” Aries desperately tries to ask, and the way I couldn’t even look straight at his eyes already clarified it for him.

I’m never the type to assume someone’s sexuality. But when he opened up about the senior partner he had in the past, I already had a hunch just like what he’s saying now. I had this speculation, but I didn’t say or even think about it because it’s not my place to treat him like he’s some sort of puzzle.

“Go ahead, you can laugh. I’m Aries, the guy who always acts like he’s superior when in fact, he’s such a coward that he can’t even admit he likes boys,” Aries suddenly tells me, immediately making me shake my head.

“You know damn well that not coming out doesn’t make you a coward,” I tell him, but Aries just laughs and heads back to his car again. He tried to open it for the second time, but for some reason, I ended up slamming it shut.

I didn’t want to let him go.

Not like this.

“What is your problem?!” Aries angrily shouts at me again before pushing me away. “You’re mad at me, right? Then tell everyone that you saw me here so we could get even. That’s going to make you happy, right?!”

“Why would you even think I’d be mad at you?” I then ask him, making Aries calm down for a bit. “I got hurt, yes. I got hurt because I thought we grew closer, but then you suddenly shut me out for no reason. I felt betrayed by you because I genuinely wanted to know more of you, but you treated me like a kid you got tired of playing with.”

“I didn’t…” Aries tried to say something to me, but the right words wouldn’t even come out of his mouth. “You don’t know me, Dom. You don’t know what kind of person I really am,” he tells me instead.

“Then let me know you. Show me everything that you’re afraid of showing me or anyone else. If you think I’ll run away because of that, then you don’t know me enough either,” I tell him.

Aries takes a deep breath and looks up at the sky before looking back at me. He doesn’t say anything, but then he takes a step closer. And then another, and another until he was only a few inches away from me.

“You want to know more of me?” He asks before leaning close to my ear. “ Then let’s fuck, you and me. You think you can do that, Dom? “

The question came as such a surprise that I wasn’t even able to say anything. So when Aries sees my reaction, he chuckles and then pulls away from me.

“I thought so,” Aries says as he walks back to his car. “You always kept staring at me, and I could tell you liked me from a mile away. But let’s face it, Dom, you only liked the idea of me. Just like everyone else.”

Aries glances at me for one last time as he opens the door of his car. But just as he’s about to head inside and leave, I swallow the lump in my throat and clench my fist before finally saying, “Okay.”

Aries stops in an instant. His eyes become wide as he looks back at me, almost like he couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

“You want to have sex? Then let’s do it.”

end.

(19) Room 461 [m]

I FOUND MYSELF SITTING in the passenger’s seat of a familiar car. It was cold, so all I could do was hug myself to keep warm. I look out of the window and stare at the sky to see the moon in its first quarter phase. And like the moon, my mind was cut in half. I was divided by my ego and my sense of morality.

Was I really going to push through with this just because I wanted to prove a point? I don’t know. Maybe because of Gelo, I ended up drinking too much, and now I can’t even think rationally. Or maybe I’m just thinking of excuses because I really want to do this, but at the same time, I know that after this, nothing will be the same again.

Without barely making a sound, I turn to the man sitting beside me. He has a blank expression on his face which is impossible to read. What is he even thinking at the moment? Is he regretting this now? Is he as worried as I am? Or is this occurrence already common to him?

Am I just another guy he asked to fuck?

If I didn’t see him at the bar, is a different man going to be sitting in this same exact seat, wondering about the same exact thoughts?

“Get out,” Aries suddenly says, almost making me flinch.

He parks the car, and I immediately look out of the window to check where he brought me. With the question he gave me before we left, I should have already expected that he’d bring me here, but when I saw the logo of this famous love motel that I usually walk past by whenever I go to work, I couldn’t help but gulp.

Aries doesn’t say anything anymore when he got off the car. In fact, “ Get out “ was the last thing he told me the entire night.

He didn’t open the door for me, which was something that I didn’t really expect him to do.

When I finally got out of the car, Aries locked the door and headed inside the motel. The receptionist welcomed him, and the familiarity they had with each other somehow made me feel irritated because it only meant that this wasn’t Aries’s first time.

The receptionist doesn’t ask him anything and just hands him a card and a key, and without even turning to me, he walks towards the elevator.

I quickly follow behind him as the elevator door closes. As soon as it closes, our eyes in the door’s reflection instantly meet, but Aries quickly looks away, afraid that I might be able to understand what he’s thinking at the moment.

After the quiet elevator ride, Aries steps out and walks to room 461.

Room 461.

Aries opens the door and enters the room first. I got ready to follow him, but for some reason, my feet wouldn’t move an inch. It was a terrible moment to reminisce on the past, but I suddenly remembered the times we had at the library and the time he complimented me when I first wore my school uniform. I remembered the time he visited my house, and the two of us stared at the moon as if we were the only living thing in the universe.

Do I really want this?

Such a question clouded my mind for a quick second. But the clouds eventually got blown away by this strong wind I like to call lust. This was a man that my eyes followed unconsciously every time he appeared. He’s the beauty that radiated my dark world. He’s the man I strongly desired, so without any more hesitations, I took a step inside Room 461, closing the door behind me so I could no longer change my mind and run away.

When I got inside the dark room, the first thing I saw was the view of the city outside this large window. I walk towards the light like a fly and stare at the view with awe. But as I was staring, a hand slowly touched my shoulder.

I turn around and found Aries staring back at me, saying nothing.

I grab his hand that’s on my shoulder and slowly lift it towards my lips. Aries doesn’t pull it away, so I press my lips on the back of his hand, and Aries closes his eyes in response as I gently kiss it.

When he opens them back, I start staring at his eyes again like it’s the first time I’ve ever seen them. Once again, I remember my first day in college. I remember the ribbons that connected our fate. And I remembered your eyes…your eyes that decided to selfishly reveal the beauty of the universe.

“I’m going to kiss you,” I tell him this time, waiting for him to change his mind. But when it looked like both of us weren’t going to back out any time soon, I grabbed Aries by the waist and turned him around so he could press his body on the window.

The beautiful city lights were right behind him, but all I could look at was his face.

I lean closer to him until I can smell the scent of alcohol, perfume, and cigarette. I continue to lean closer until my mouth is only inches away from him. And after one last breath, I press my lips on the man I have kept on staring at ever since my eyes caught his way.

His lips were soft, but I could barely make another move because I wanted to be gentle with him. But Aries didn’t want to be gentle at all. He grabs my coat and pulls me in further.

The invitation was clear, so I eventually pushed my tongue inside his mouth so I could finally get a taste. Aries lets me in, and the moment his tongue touches mine, every part of my being instantly feels alive.

I hold onto his waist and push my body against him so he can feel the growing bulge between us. Aries drapes his arms around my neck as the two of us continue kissing each other. The inside of his mouth was hot, and the way he moved his tongue irritated yet excited me. He was basically a pro, and my slopiness was practically an embarrassment.

After a while, I pull away and gasp for air.

The quiet room was filled with our heavy breathing, and the two of us ended up staring at each other again.

“ I’m going to carry you to the bed, “ I whisper to him this time, and Aries nods his head in response.

With his arms still around my neck, I lift Aries off the floor and carry him to the large bed in the middle of the room, giving him quick kisses as I do so. He was lighter than I expected, but I guess I’m just used to carrying heavy things.

When I finally laid him on the bed, Aries pulled his arms away from me. He was in between my legs, and the view from where I was kneeling made my heart beat even faster. This isn’t how I wanted this to go, but we’re here now, and I’d be a complete liar if I said I didn’t want this either.

“I’m seriously going to fuck you, Aries. If you don’t stop me now, there’s no turning back anymore,” I tell him for one last time, giving him the chance to run away now so both of us wouldn’t end up feeling guilty about this. But Aries didn’t stop me. Instead, he grabs my belt and pulls me towards him, making me groan in pleasure.

“ You’re seriously making this way too difficult ,“ I say as I reach out for the condom and the lube on the side table.

I can pretty much tell that this is an intimate situation where we don’t have to get naked, so I didn’t remove my clothes and just decided to unbuckle my belt and unzip my pants. Right after, I lock my eyes on Aries. And without removing them from his gaze, I pull my cock out so he can see.

His reaction makes me lick my lips. I haven’t really had sex with anyone yet, but I’ve watched enough porn and read enough erotic novels to know how it generally goes down.

“ You’re lucky, Mr. Aries Buan, because you’re the first one to ever experience this with me, “ I thought to myself as I bit the sachet so I could pull the condom out. Before putting it on, I grab the lubricant and smother my member with it. I gave it a gentle stroke, and the way Aries just stared at it made it even harder.

When I was finally all set, I reached out to unzip Aries’s pants this time, but Aries pushed my hand away and sat up from the bed. I thought he was finally going to ask me to stop, but instead, he unzips his pants himself.

He grabs the lube and puts some on his middle and index finger. Soon after, my eyes widen in shock as Aries snakes his hand inside his pants. He closed his eyes, and even though I couldn’t really see what he was doing, the soft moans that were escaping his mouth were enough to make my imagination run wild.

Aries continues to move his hand, his eyes close as his hips start to move on their own. My cock practically starts to leak out as I watch Aries Buan finger himself in front of me. This was an image of him that I had never even imagined. For a second, I thought I was dreaming.

“ That’s fucking sexy, “ I whisper under my breath as I continue to watch him prepare himself. I almost grabbed my dick so I could give it a quick hand job, but before I could even move my hand, Aries stopped and pulled his pants down before lying on his stomach.

I look down and catch a glimpse of his ass. I almost got tempted to just smack it, but I kept it together as I slowly reached out to pull his cheeks apart so I could see his entrance.

I swallowed the lump in my throat in an instant when I saw how wet he already was.

How beautiful is he going to get?

“ I’m going to enter you now, “ I whisper to him. I couldn’t really see his face in this position, but I could tell that Aries just wanted me to shut up, so I finally pushed myself toward him, gently pressing the tip of my cock on his entrance.

Aries doesn’t say anything, but I could see him clenching the sheets. I’m not entirely sure if this is even Aries’s first time, but that’s something that I’m not really worried about, either. I don’t care if this is his first time or not, but I should still be gentle with him.

I reach out to his hole and start massaging the outside as I finally push myself in. Aries continues to clench the sheets, and I can tell that he’s biting on his lips because of the sound that he’s making. I wanted to turn him over so I could see his face and press my lips on his so he doesn’t have to suppress his moans, but I knew that Aries didn’t want to see my face at all.

I continued to push myself inside him until I could no longer go any further. The sensation of having his insides surround me made me shiver, and when I looked down and saw how connected we were now, I almost ended up releasing my load in an instant.

“I’m going to start moving,” I tell him, and Aries just nods his head in response.

I slowly thrust into him for a couple of seconds. I’ve watched this in videos before, but I never knew it would feel this good. He felt so good. My mind and my body were in a complete mess that I couldn’t even think straight anymore as I continued to push myself deeper inside him.

I pushed myself in and slowly pulled out before thrusting it back in again. I hold onto his waist and look at the ceiling before closing my eyes in complete pleasure. But after a few more thrusts, the tightness became softer, and everything around me just let loose.

Without being able to control myself anymore, I push my body against him and start moving my hips, moving in a slow circular motion as my dick tightens inside him.

I press my lips on his back and then his neck, kissing him as the bed starts to move to the beat.

Aries finally released a moan, and the sound he made excited me even more. I started to move faster and faster, the room now filled with our voices and the sound of the bed creaking. Soon after that, everything was just complete ecstasy. 

Compared to the guys I’ve made out with while working as a table employee, this was different. This was an act that fully embraced my sexuality. This was a connection that sparked all the dying lights inside me.

I felt so alive. I was just darn happy to be alive. And for the first time in forever, I almost thanked god for making me like men.

…

I woke up the next day completely naked in an unfamiliar bed. My body ached, and it felt sticky because of all the sweat. When I looked around, I realized that it was already morning. I sat up and brushed my hair back with my fingers. I then looked at the floor and saw my clothes, and then right beside it was a used condom. The moment I saw it, my eyes instantly widened from shock, and my jaw dropped in an instant.

The memories of last night came crashing down on me. The images became so clear that my cheeks turned red in an instant.

“I just…I j-just had s-sex…I just had sex! With Aries Buan!” I shout; the alcohol from last night now gone from my system, making my mind completely clear.

In a panic, I got off the bed and end up tripping on the sheets. I grab my clothes and start wearing them, and while I buttoned my shirt, I looked around the room to check if Aries was still there, but as I expected, he was nowhere to be found.

“Shit…shit…” I continuously curse as I look around the room, the memory of last night still playing in my head like a broken record.

I felt embarrassed, and then ashamed, two feelings that I shouldn’t have since I ended up making love with my first college crush. Well, calling it making love is overkill since there was no love in it whatsoever. It was a one-night stand. We both clearly know that.

But why do I still feel this way?

“You have seriously done it now Domingo,” I say in frustration as I massage my temple and walk toward the table where there were free bottles of water.

I reach out for the bottle to get a drink, but then I suddenly find a note. With one glance I could already tell that it was Aries’s handwriting. But when I saw what was written on it, a sad expression immediately appeared on my face.

“ Here’s your payment for tonight, “ the note said. And as soon as I lifted the paper off the table, a bunch of cash welcomes me there, signifying that I ended up getting billed out by a man I didn’t just desire.

end.

(20) Count to Five

THE BELL RINGS, AND everyone starts standing from their seats to head out of the classroom. I stayed in my chair and continued staring at the math formulas on the board. To some, it may seem like I’m still trying to understand the activity we had earlier, but the truth is I’m still mentally stuck in room 461, a place that awakened and killed me in more ways than one.

Everything still feels like a dream.

I just had sex with Aries Buan last night. The Aries Buan. The Aries, who’s the council president, the honor student, and just simply the ever-so-perfect senior that everyone in our institute is in love with.

I held him like he was the most fragile thing in the world. He didn’t say anything to me, but his eyes sparkled like stars in the night sky. He was so beautiful that I had to take a cold shower again when I got home because my dick wouldn’t stop getting hard.

I have my regrets, I’m not gonna lie, and then the money he left me pissed me off even more. But what surprised me the most was the fact that he even had sex with me in the first place. If he wanted me to hate him, then that should have been the last thing he did.

Making me hold him made me desire him even more, and I’m afraid that such desires will only grow dangerously bigger.

Do you hate me now, Aries?

Or have you always hated me as you claimed?

“Dom! Why on earth are you still sitting there? Let’s go already. I’m starving,” Vicki complains, grabbing my bag while Art starts cleaning my table for me.

“I bet you’re still thinking about the last problem our professor gave us earlier. Maybe we can work on it together and—” Justin was about to continue his statement, but I finally stood from my chair and interrupted him.

“It’s 12.6,” I casually answered with a poker face. “I already solved it. It’s 12.6.”

“You’re joking, right?” Justin asks in shock, so Arthur looks back at the board and uses his calculator. When he sees the answer, he looks back at us and nods his head to confirm it.

“He’s right.”

“No way! When did you become such a math genius?! You should have tutored me instead,” Justin tells me, grabbing my arm and shaking my body like I’m some kind of coconut tree.

“Well, that’s Aries Buan for you. If you were tutored by the top student in class, you’d be a math genius too,” Vicki then says, and the moment she said Aries’s name immediately made me feel worse.

“Please, I don’t want to hear his name,” I say. But then I remembered that Art’s literally his brother, so I immediately looked at my friend and defended, “I mean…I don’t want to hear anything related to the exams. I was hoping to at least get A’s, but my grades ended up being B’s and C’s. I’m still very disappointed by it.”

Arthur narrows his head, obviously seeing through my act, but thankfully he doesn’t ask about it anymore.

“Anyway, let’s just head to the cafeteria,” Vicki says, and the four of us finally head out to grab our lunch.

While walking, Vicki grabbed my arm and purposely pulled me back so we could walk behind Art and Justin. When we were finally at a safe distance from them, Vicki leaned close to me and said, “Okay, Mr. Domingo Adlawan, give it to me straight. Did something happen between you and your senior partner?”

Seriously, when it comes to things like this, Vicki is very keen.

“Nothing. I’m just tired from my job last night,” I say, which wasn’t entirely a lie. And besides, despite what Aries did to me, I’m not evil enough to expose his sexuality to others. It’s obvious that there’s a deep reason why he;’s hiding such a thing, and I’m not the one to use that against him.

“Come on, Dom. It’s clear as day. Ever since our preliminary exams, you’ve been acting all gloomy. It’s obvious something’s up. I might not look it, man, but I’m here for you. You can tell me anything, and I’m all ears,” Vicki insists.

I take a deep breath, and then I stop walking so she can stop walking too. I looked around to check if anyone was going to overhear me, so when it was clear, I moved closer to her and whispered, “ I like Aries. “

Vicki was silent for a while, but when I pulled away and spotted her reaction, she was actually just speechless. Seconds later, an excited smile appears on her face, and like a volcano, she erupts.

“I knew it!”

“ Shh… “ I quickly say, covering her mouth with my index finger.

Vicki pushes my hand away and looks around the area, too, before looking back at me. “I knew something was up. You’ve been acting strange recently, and I was thinking that it’s love related. Looks like I’m right again.”

“This isn’t something to celebrate. Aries doesn’t like me,” I tell her, and Vicki ends up hitting my shoulder like I said something unforgivable.

“You can’t say that! We don’t know what he really feels about you yet.”

Oh, Vicki, believe me, I know.

“And I don’t want to assume or anything, but what if he ends up liking you too? It’s not wrong to hope, right? It’s just like when I was in high school, and I had a crush on this guy, and I was—”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” I quickly tell her so she wouldn’t end up making things even weirder. “I don’t want to push myself on someone who hates me. And besides, we’re just…we’re too different. He’s freakin’ Aries Buan. And I’m….” I pause and take a deep breath before finishing, “I’m just me.”

“And what’s wrong about being you?” Vicki quickly asks me back, holding onto my shoulders and looking straight into my eyes. “You’re more than just…you. You’re Domingo Adlawan! Any person will be lucky enough to have you. And besides, One-sided love isn’t the end of everything. We can go hunting for a new one right now,” she then tells me, making me chuckle.

This girl really says the strangest things, but the strangest part is that she makes sense all the fucking time.

“You know what, maybe we should go hunting for a new crush. Aries isn’t the only senior out there, right?” I jokingly ask back, and Vicki smiles and nods his head.

“Good, I know a senior at the business department that’s totally your type. Maybe I can introduce you,” Vicki says as the two of us finally walk our way to the cafeteria.

“Where have you two been?” Justin asked when we arrived at the table that he and Arthur had saved for us.

“I had to go to the restroom,” Vicki casually lies as she places her bag on the bench.

“I had to wait for her,” I add, and Justin and Arthur didn’t say anything about it anymore.

“Anyway, Dom, do you want us to buy you your lunch so you can watch over our bags?” Art offers.

“Oh, sure. I’ll have pork blood strew and some extra rice,” I say, pulling out my wallet and handing Art the money.

Art takes it, and the three of them eventually head to the crowd of students who are all lining up to buy food. While waiting, I pull out my notebook to read the notes I made during our last class. I then grabbed my pen and wrote down a few more things that the professor mentioned earlier. But when I turned to the next page, I was surprised to see that there was actually a sticky note attached to it.

“ What on earth is this? “ I ask, grabbing the sticky note that I just now noticed. Someone must have placed it in between the empty pages, so I only discovered it now when I reached the said page.

The sticky note didn’t have anything at the first glance, but when turned it around, I was shocked to see familiar handwriting.

Good luck with your exams.

I’ll treat you out if you pass it all.

• 22

I stared at the note with my eyes wide, but after a while, I ended up laughing at myself because of how quick I was to judge.

Aries…as much as I don’t want to admit it…you never really hated me, didn’t you?

The short moment we had back at my house, when we were both staring at the moon…that was all real. And when we saw each other at the bar, you looked mad. But you weren’t mad at me. You were mad at something else, maybe even blamed yourself for being there at that exact moment and at that exact time.

And back at the hotel, in room 461, for just a second, even for a brief second, you looked at me with your eyes that spoke on behalf of your fearful silence.

You hated how I stared at you, but you never hated how I looked at you. Because I know that even from afar, you knew that I liked you. And my feelings scared you so much that you ended up leaving that money in hopes that I’d end up hating you.

“ I have to talk to him. I can’t let this end as a meaningless one-night stand, “ I thought to myself, putting the sticky note down and standing from my seat.

Just in time, Vicki, Justin, and Arthur arrive at the table.

“Here you are, Dom,” Arthur says, placing the tray of food in front of me and then handing me the change.

“Thanks, but I remembered that I have to go somewhere first. If I don’t return in time, just eat my food,” I tell them. And before they could even ask me about it, I was already running off like a complete madman.

I have to talk to Aries. I can’t allow things to go like this. I can’t just fuck him and pretend as if nothing happened. I can’t let him walk away from me after everything we’ve done together.

“Hi! Have you seen president Aries?” I asked when I arrived at the senior’s building.

“Oh, Aries? I think he’s in room 308. Their class should be over by now,” the senior answers.

I thanked him and immediately ran my way to the third floor so I wouldn’t end up missing him. And when I arrived at room 308, truth be told, Aries was right there.

Their classes had just ended, and everyone else was already walking out of the room. I wanted to head inside and call out for him, but for some reason, the bravery I had earlier vanished, and I ended up hiding on the side of the doorframe so he wouldn’t see me.

“Aries! Should we head out to eat lunch? I’m tired of eating cafeteria food,” a female student, who I remember is the student council secretary named Jesse, asks while Aries is busy putting his things back inside his bag.

“Gab and the others invited us to eat out. We should join them instead,” another senior, vice president Mark, then asks.

Aries looks at them and suddenly gives them a warm smile, a smile that I rarely see from him whenever we’re together.

“You guys can go ahead. I still have some things to finish at the office,” Aries answers, making his two friends start whining like a bunch of kids.

“You’re such a responsible student that it’s sickening,” Jesse teases, making Aries chuckle.

“No, you have to come. Everyone else is expecting to see you. And besides, Diane is going to be there too. The seniors who joined the pageant last time are gathering together to prepare for this year’s pageant,” Mark says, making me furrow my brows.

Diane? Is she the girl on Aries’s Instagram?

“Please, Diane and I broke up,” Aries suddenly replies, and like the selfish guy that I am, that answer somehow made me smile.

“Oh, come on. She obviously still likes you, and you obviously still like her too. Why not rekindle the love you have for each other? Who knows, maybe this year’s pageant will make the sparks start flying again,” Mark adds, making me clench my fist in irritation this time.

Aries was about to answer, but out of nowhere, someone grabbed me by the arm and forced me inside the classroom, making Aries and his friends stop talking to look at me in shock.

“Hey guys, I found this guy eavesdropping outside,” the senior who grabbed me suddenly says, making my cheeks burn up in an instant because of embarrassment.

“I…I w-wasn’t eavesdropping!” I quickly defend.

“Wait, isn’t that your freshman partner?” Jesse then asks, furrowing her brows and moving closer to me. when she got a better look at my face, she instantly smiled and said, “He is! He’s your number 22.”

I awkwardly laugh and turn to look at Aries, who is obviously not happy to see me here.

“You here to talk to your senior partner?” Jesse then says, and before I can even answer her, Aries suddenly goes in between us and tells her, “I forgot that he burrowed some notes from me. You guys can go ahead. I promise to catch up at that restaurant where you’ll be eating.”

“You promise?” Mark asks, and Aries smiles again and nods his head.

Mark, Jesse, and the other senior who caught me walked out of the room. When they were already gone, Aries finally looked back at me and angrily asked, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I came to see you,” I answer with no hesitation, making Aries massage his temple in frustration.

“Look, if you’re here to talk about feelings and wanting to get even, then be my guest. But what happened last night was a one-time thing. If you’re here to—”

“I didn’t care about the money,” I quickly tell him, making Aries stop in an instant. “It pissed me off a little, but customers paid me less, so it’s fine,” I then say, trying to get a reaction from him.

Aries was dumbfounded by what he heard, but the moment I saw his expression change just for a quick second, I knew I had a shot with this.

“What the fuck do you want?” He asks, his expression very different from the innocent smile he showed to his friends earlier. “Did you want me to pay more? Is that it?” He then added, expecting me to get angry, but it wasn’t working out for him at all.

“Here, if it will finally make you leave me alone, then—”

“The sex…” I quickly interrupt, making Aries stop grabbing his wallet from his pocket in an instant.

If you want to play this game, then let’s play it, Aries. I’m never the type to run away. If you’ve done this to other people before, then you’ll be surprised to see how confident and determined I can get.

“You liked it too, didn’t you? The sex,” I bravely say, and Aries immediately moves close to me to cover my mouth with his hand.

“Are you out of your mind?!” He then asks, looking around to check if someone might have heard us.

While he was looking around the room, I lowered my gaze at him and decided to lick his palm, immediately making Aries pull his hand away, his cheeks turning red in an instant.

“If you think leaving money behind would make me hate you, then you’re dead wrong,” I say, looking at Aries as he hugs his hand close to his chest.

“You already know that I like you, so it’s my turn to find out if you like me too,” I tell him, taking a step closer as Aries moves back.

Aries continued to step away from me until his back reached the wall. When I finally got to corner him, I placed my hand on the wall to lock him in place. I then lean close to his face and stare into his eyes.

Why are you so afraid of me, Aries Buan? Whenever you look at me, you automatically lock the door and expect me to turn away. But that’s not going to work on me anymore. I’m not stupid. If you really wanted me to leave you alone, you wouldn’t have pushed through with the sex. You would have just driven off and left me there, but you didn’t.

I don’t exactly know what you feel about me just yet, but I’m not going to run away so easily. I’m going to unlock your code, and I’m going to open the door you’re desperately trying to close, whether you like it or not.

“ Why did you ask to have sex with me? “ I whisper, and Aries tries to look away from me but fails miserably.

“It’s because I pitied you. You wanted me so bad, so I gave you a taste. But that was it,” he answers, making me chuckle.

“Half of the school likes you too. So did you give them all a taste like what you gave me?” I then ask him, and Aries’s ears start turning red again, almost making me smirk.

When did I start getting interested in the expressions he makes?

“ You know, last night, I thought I would die because of how good it felt ,“ I shamelessly whisper to him. “ You were so beautiful, and the sounds you made haunted me until I woke up. “

Aries finally turned his head away from me, giving me a better view of how red his ears were. I only wanted to tease him a little, so I could get back to him after what he did this morning. I told him I wasn’t affected by it, but when I saw the money he left me at the table, I felt really hurt.

To get even, I wanted to tease Aries like this. But as our bodies got closer to each other, I suddenly felt something hard between us. I looked down, and the moment I saw the bulge in his pants, my reason once again flew right out the window.

We just had sex last night. How on earth is he horny again?! No wonder he’s blushing so much. He’s flustered.

“ I never thought I’d see you like this, Mr. Buan, “ I say, snaking my hand around his waist so I could hold onto him. “ It seems like your body’s a lot more honest ,“ I continue to whisper, leaning close until our lips are now inches away from each other.

“ In five seconds, I’m going to give you a kiss. If you don’t like it, push me away, “ I warn, making Aries turn his head to look at me again.

“ Five …“ I begin to count, and Aries looks straight into my eyes. It’s obvious that he wanted to say something, but words weren’t coming out of his mouth.

“ Four …“

Come on now, Aries, push me away. Don’t give me any more hope and just push me away.

“ Three …“ I say next as I start to lean even closer to him.

“ Two… “

I pause for a second, and before I can even say the last number, I finally press my lips on Aries. And like what I expected, he didn’t push me away and ended up kissing me back, tasting the similar flavor I had last night, reminding me that starting today, our freshman-senior relationship will never be the same again.

“ One… “

end.

(21) Operation: Unlock the Code

HIS HOT TONGUE ENTERS my mouth as I push his body towards the table. Aries sits at the edge of it as my hand holds onto his waist, squeezing it tight as I continue to push myself deeper into him.

After a couple more seconds of passionate kissing, Aries pulls away from me, panting heavily as we stare deeply into each other’s eyes.

He looked beautiful. I wanted to tell him that, but I couldn’t. Words weren’t enough for me to express how I felt about him. It wouldn’t be enough for him to understand how much my feeling for him just keeps growing with each passing day.

“ Wait… “ He whispers under his breath.

I ignore him and start kissing his neck instead, making Aries close his eyes while his hands hold onto my shoulders. A moan eventually escapes his mouth as I start kissing his chin and cheek. But as I was about to give him another kiss on his lips, Aries opened his eyes back and repeated, “Wait, Dom.”

“ You want us to stop? “ I whisper in his ear, kissing it until Aries finally pushes me away.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Why do you think I’m doing this?”

Aries doesn’t say anything anymore as he fixes his uniform. He looks back at me with an unreadable expression. I couldn’t tell if he was mad. I couldn’t tell what he was really feeling. He just looks at me, and then he takes a deep breath and grabs his bag.

Aries doesn’t say anything else to me as he walks his way toward the exit. I watch him walk away from me, putting my hands inside my pockets before leaning on the table he was just sitting on a couple of seconds ago. But as Aries opens the door to leave, I ask him, “Are you going?”

“What?” Aries asks, looking over his shoulder to look back at me.

“Are you going to that restaurant with the other seniors?”

“And why do you care?”

“Are you going to rekindle your love with your ex like what the vice president said?” I ask further with a smirk on my face, and Aries’s expression changes in an instant.

“Fuck you,” he says instead before heading out and finally slamming the door shut.

“ You keep on making me want to hate you, but you end up acting like this ,“ I whisper so he wouldn’t be able to hear me anymore.

As soon as he was gone, I took a deep breath and brushed my hair back. After calming myself down, I got off the table and kicked the chair in frustration. I came here to talk with him in a civil manner, but I ended up almost having sex with him instead in a fucking classroom. That honestly doesn’t make any sense. The knots between us are only getting more tangled.

What I need is a serious game plan. How am I going to make Aries open up? I’m not asking him to tell the world he’s gay. That’s not what I want. What I want is for him to truthfully tell me how he feels about this. About me. About us.

There’s no way he’s doing all this just because he pities me. People don’t just have sex with anyone because they pity them. And no one in the right mind would make out with someone they hate in a classroom where people could accidentally catch them.

Aries has feelings for me. I don’t know what kind of feelings they are yet, but I know there’s something. Better yet, I’ll make him fall in love with me so he’ll have to tell me his feelings instead.

That’s it! That’s what I’m gonna do.

I’m gonna make Aries fall in love with me.

I’m gonna make him fall in love with me so hard that he’ll end up telling me his feelings instead.

This is operation: Unlock Aries’s Code. And in this operation, I’m definitely going to succeed.

…

“Classes are finally over!” Justin exclaims as my friends and I walk towards the main gate so we can head home.

“By the way, Dom, where the hell did you go earlier? Justin and I ate your lunch because we didn’t want to waste it,” Vicki then asks.

I held onto the strap of my backpack and stared at the fountain just outside our building before looking back at her. “It wasn’t really important.”

Vicki, Justin, and Art looked at each other, obviously not believing my bullshit, but they just shrugged their shoulders and didn’t ask me about it any further.

“Anyway, I’m heading out first. It’s going to be crowded again at the station, and I don’t want to get caught up in it. I’ll see bitches you tomorrow,” Vicki says, giving us a hug before finally walking out of the gate.

“I should head to the parking lot too. Justin, where did you park your motorcycle?” Art then asks.

“I parked it in front of the Science building, so you can go on ahead,” Justin says, and the three of us bump our fists together before parting ways.

I got ready to leave too, but then Justin suddenly stopped me and said, “Dom, you’re a good-looking guy, so I’m going to ask you for a favor.”

“I’m somehow getting nervous about that,” I jokingly say, and Justin chuckles and drapes his arm around my shoulder, dragging me towards the Science building, practically giving me no choice but to follow him to wherever he wants me to go.

“My senior partner invited me to a gathering tonight. It’s a gathering where students from different institutes come together. He asked me to bring a plus one—one that would keep the other female freshmen students interested in staying longer,” Justin says, almost making me push his hand away from me.

“Justin, I appreciate that you find me good-looking, but I’m gay. I’m not very interested if the female students are interested in me or not,” I remind him, and Justin suddenly starts laughing like I made the funniest joke ever.

“I know, I know. But they don’t know that, and that’s why I want you to come as my wingman. If a handsome guy like you started talking about me, the others would definitely think I’m cool,” Justin insists, almost making me slap myself in the face because of how ridiculous this is.

I knew that Justin would have this kind of personality, but I didn’t know that he’d be worse than my friend, Gelo.

“Look, Justin, as much as I want to be there for you so you could get some girl, I don’t think I—”

“You’re not gonna be alone. Your senior partner’s probably there too,” Justin then revealed, and in an instant, my mind went in a completely different direction.

“You know what, you’re right. Since you’re such a good friend, I think I can tag along and help you out,” I tell him, changing my decision as fast as Vicki whenever she has new gossip to share with us.

I don’t think I’m that crazy yet, but I went along with Justin and rode on his motorcycle with an excited look on my face. I’m certainly not the type to follow my crush around, but this is just pure coincidence. If Aries is really there, I could just play it off and tell him I came with my friend.

“Here we are,” Justin says, parking the car in front of a bar that was popular with college students since it was already packed when we got there.

I got off Justin’s motorcycle and removed the helmet before handing it over to him. “This is the place?”

“My senior partner already texted me and told me that we should just head inside,” Justin says, and so the two of us made our way to the entrance, pushing past students from other universities.

The bar was different from the one I worked at. Other than the fact there aren’t employees waiting for you to get tabled, the vibe inside the bar was pretty chill, and the music wasn’t too loud, which was perfect for students who only want to relax and have a couple of drinks.

“Justin!” Someone shouted when we got to a section near a stage that had a drum set.

Looks like bands play here too.

“Wayne!” Justin shouts back as this big guy approaches us. He was really tall, and when he spoke, I couldn’t help but gulp because of how low his voice was. I remember that Justin told us that his senior partner was a Math Major. I don’t want to be stereotypical here, but this was not how I expected him to look.

Okay, that’s honestly such a shitty thing to assume.

“I’m glad you came, man. The others just arrived, too,” Wayne says before looking in my direction. “And this must be the friend you mentioned about.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I greet, and the senior named Wayne laughs, probably because Justin told him something about me before we even got here.

“No wonder this guy was chosen for this year’s freshman pageant. He’s quite the charmer,” Wayne reveals, making me widen my eyes in shock because I totally forgot that I signed up for that because of some jerk.

If I remember correctly, the foundation day is next week!

“Anyway, let me introduce you to the others,” Wayne then says as he leads us to a long table that is mixed with students from different institutes.

My eyes automatically looked around to check if there was a familiar face, but when I saw that he wasn’t there at all, I couldn’t help but be disappointed.

“Guys, we’ve got new recruits. This is Justin. He’s my freshman partner and a P.E major,” Wayne explains, and the students at the table start laughing.

“A P.E Major and a Math Major? That’s definitely an odd pair.”

“You look more like a PE major than he does,” another guy says, which is something that I also agree on.

“And this is—” Wayne pauses and gestures at me to introduce myself, so I adjusted my necktie and told them, “My name is Domingo M. Adlawan, but you can call me Dom. I’m a first-year English Ed. student.”

The others smiled and nodded their heads at me while the others just stared, which wasn’t a big deal for me. I came here to meet someone, but since he’s nowhere to be found, I might as well just enjoy the night. It’s been a while since I went out drinking for fun and not because I need to get paid.

“Have a seat and mingle with the others,” Wayne then tells us, so Justin and I nod our heads like the underdogs that we were and try looking for a table to join in.

“Hey! Domingo M. Adlawan! Have a seat here,” one of the guys says, making Justin and I look at each other before joining their table.

Based on the institute patches on their uniforms, there are three girls who are Mass Comm students, two guys who are Nursing students, and then another girl who’s a Tourism student at the table.

“You know what, Dom, I’m gonna tell it to you straight. You’re exceptionally handsome,” one of the girls complimented, making the others nod their heads in agreement.

Justin didn’t say anything and just had this stupid smile on his face, but then he started nudging my arm, making me realize that this fucker didn’t invite me here to have a good time. Since I’m already here, I might as well help him out.

“By the way, this is Justin. He’s a close friend of mine,” I say to the person who asked us to sit with them, and thankfully, everyone at the table welcomed us with open arms.

Justin started mingling with them like a pro. Despite being your average jock, Justin was friendly enough to make decent conversations with people he had just met. He was so good that I almost recruited him to join the Red Light bar. With his looks and personality, he might even beat Jack.

“Your name is Domingo, right?” the Tourism student sitting beside me suddenly asks.

Justin was too busy talking with the others at the table, so I turned my body to face her properly. She was a very pretty girl with a distinct mole just inches away from her mouth. She has very sharp eyes too, so I couldn’t help but be intimidated by her.

“Dom is fine. And you must be?”

“My name’s Stephanie, but you can call me Steph. It’s nice to meet you, Dom,” the girl named Steph says, showing me the bottle of beer she was drinking. I grabbed the beer that was given to me earlier, and the two of us clinked our bottles together.

Both of us took a sip of our alcohol and smiled at each other afterward.

“You don’t have to be so uptight. Gatherings like this are a great way to meet different people and make connections. But I guess I can’t really blame you because I was like that too when I was a first year,” Steph explains to me.

“You’re a senior?” I ask, and Steph takes another sip of her alcohol before shaking her head in response.

“I’m a Junior—a third year. I’m still preparing myself so I’d be able to take care of my freshman partner next year,” Steph explains, making me chuckle.

“You sound like you’re going to adopt a kid,” I tell her, and Steph laughs this time.

“Well, the Freshmen-Senior Program in LU is what makes our university famous. I also had a good relationship with my senior partner, so I want to do well. Actually, my relationship with him was too good because we’ve been together for a year now,” Steph reveals, surprising me.

“Wait, you got together with your partner for real?” I ask in shock, and Steph smiles and nods her head before taking another sip of her drink.

“When I was a freshman, I had this huge crush on him, but that jerk treated me as nothing more than his school partner. So during his graduation, I mustered up the courage and confessed to him. He told me he’d give me an answer when he gets his first job, and when he did, it was his turn to confess to me,” Steph explains, almost making me fanboy by simply imagining it.

The English Major in me just loves these types of stories.

“That’s very romantic,” I tell her, and this time, Steph ends up looking shy.

“Yeah. He confessed with flowers and chocolates, and he was wearing his flight attendant uniform too,” she explains further, and the two of us ended up smiling together.

“You two are very lucky to have each other then,” I say, and Steph takes a deep breath and looks away from me.

“Of course, I get insecure sometimes, especially since I’m still a college student. I feel like a kid compared to him, so I’m trying my best to prove to him that choosing me was worth it,” Steph says with an almost sad expression.

“Anyway, how about you, Dom? How are you and your senior partner,” Steph quickly asks right after, obviously trying to end the conversation regarding his boyfriend.

I was contemplating whether or not I should tell Steph about my feelings for Aries because she told me about hers. But after a while, I realized that sharing something like this isn’t going to sound as normal or cute as her story. I can proudly tell everyone that I like guys, but having Aries get involved in my feelings is a bit unfair on his part.

“My senior partner is definitely an amazing person, but it’s not as exciting as yours is. We just have a normal freshman-senior relationship,” I lied, and thankfully Steph didn’t question it.

“Well, I guess that’s normal since—”

“Guys! They’re here!” Someone suddenly announces, interrupting Steph from what she is about to say.

Justin stopped talking too. The two of us looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders before looking at the guy who made the announcement. Soon after that, this insanely beautiful woman suddenly walks towards us, automatically making everyone start whispering among each other.

I’m not really attracted to women, but I can’t help but be star-struck myself. The woman was basically Ms. Universe level.

But why does she look familiar, though?

“Wow, she really came,” Steph comments, immediately making me and Justin look at her.

“You know her?” I ask.

“Know her? Everyone in our department knows her. She’s basically the queen of tourism. She’s a consistent dean’s lister, her family is insanely rich, and she’s also our institute’s council president. My boyfriend and I once fought because of how much he talked about her in the past,” Steph explains, making me look at her with my mouth wide open.

How can someone be so beautiful, rich, and smart and the same time?

Oh wait, that’s basically Aries.

“What’s her name?” Justin then asks.

Steph finishes the drink from her bottle and looks back at the famous tourism president before saying, “Diane Montecastro.”

As soon as Steph said her name, I almost spilled the alcohol that I was also drinking at that moment.

Diane Montecastro…

Diane…

“Everyone else is expecting to see you. And besides, Diane is going to be there too. The seniors who joined the pageant last time are gathering together to prepare for this year’s pageant.”

“Please, Diane and I broke up.”

Holy shit!

This is Diane? This is Aries’s ex-girlfriend?!

I couldn’t recognize her at first because, in the picture that Aries had of her on his Instagram account, the two of them were covered in paint. But now I totally see it.

“ Just when I thought that Aries was already way out of my league, this woman just had to rub it in my face even further, “ I mumble to myself before chugging the alcohol down so I’d feel less depressed than I already am.

“Hey, Diane! I’m glad you came,” Wayne—Justin’s senior partner—says as he and Diane give each other a friendly hug. “Did you come alone?” he then asks her.

“No, someone actually drove me here,” she replies, and for some reason, the moment I heard those words, my heart started beating faster in an instant.

“Oh, there he is,” Diane says, making everyone turn their heads to see who it is. And as I feared, the man who I was just making out with earlier appeared in front of me, making everything around me stop in an instant.

end.

(22) Insecurity

ARIES APPEARS IN FRONT of us, and like a switch, the lower years from the other departments automatically start looking at him, whispering amongst each other as if he was some kind of celebrity. While the other seniors started circling around him like a fly attracted to light.

Compared to the expression he usually shows me, Aries was smiling from ear to ear, greeting everyone who said hi to him. I couldn’t help but feel bitter about it. Does he even like the attention? Does he like smiling like that to everyone? Do I know him more than his ex-girlfriend does?

“Come and sit down. Join us at our table,” Wayne says, and Aries nods and walks to the table where the other seniors are seated.

Did he even see me?

Is he just ignoring me?

Should I at least greet him?

“Aries Buan. Now that’s a guy people could easily fall in love with,” Steph suddenly says, finally making me remove my eyes from Aries so I could look back at her. “He’s the whole package. He’s handsome, charming, smart, and, most of all, rich. Heard his father is like the CEO of some company. The man can’t be more perfect than that.”

“He’s kind too. He helped my buddy pass the exams last prelim. If I were teaching someone like Dom, I would have just left,” Justin then reveals, almost making me kick his leg under the table because I didn’t want anyone to know that we’re school partners, and I didn’t want anyone to know that I’m dumb either.

“Wait, he helped you study?” The nursing student among us then asks.

“Yeah. He’s…you know…kinda my senior partner,” I awkwardly answer while scratching the back of my head, and everyone at the table just lost it.

“Seriously?! Tell him to join us then!” the other nursing student says, making the others nod in agreement. Even Steph was looking excited about it.

“I don’t know. He’s kinda enjoying himself there,” I try to say as I glance at Aries, who’s casually laughing with the other seniors. We’re technically not close, so it would be super awkward for me to just approach him and ask him to sit with us, especially after what happened in their classroom earlier.

“Come on, Dom, I don’t think he’d mind if it’s you. It’s really difficult to get to talk to him, so help us out here,” the other girl then says, and Justin automatically starts sending me eye signals, practically screaming at me that I should just do it so the girls would think we’re cool.

I still wanted to decline, but everyone just kept requesting it, so I grabbed my beer, chugged it down, and finally stood from my seat, instantly making them start cheering.

“ You guys owe me big time, “ I whisper to myself as I muster up the courage to walk toward the seniors’ table.

All of them were already having fun, and Aries was even sitting beside his ex. The moment I got there, all of them instantly stopped talking to look at me. Aries turns his head to look at me too, and let me tell you that I almost dug a hole to hide myself in embarrassment because of how surprised he was to see me there.

“Oh, Dom. What’s up, man?” Wayne asks, making me awkwardly scratch the back of my head again.

I was about to look in Aries’s direction to half-heartedly ask him if he wanted to join us at our table, which I believe he’ll kindly reject. But before I could even say anything, the queen of Tourism, Diane Montecastro, suddenly smiles in my direction and says, “Dom? Your name’s Dom? that’s such a cool name.”

“It’s actually short for Domingo. But I guess it is kind of strange since Domingo associates to something holy but Dom is the exact opposite,” I explain, and Diane chuckles, showing me this dimpled smile that suddenly made me question my sexuality for a second.

I’m still gay, right?

How on earth is this girl insanely pretty? It’s starting to confuse me now too!

“I like you, Dom. How about joining us?” She then asked me, and I swear to you, I almost nodded my head to say yes. If I didn’t stop myself on time, I would have snatched a seat and just sat with them with no questions.

“Thank you, but I—”

“I didn’t know you were here,” Aries suddenly says, instantly cutting me off.

“Wait, you know each other?” Diane then asks us, and a smile automatically appears on Aries’s face as he answers, “He’s my freshman partner.”

“What? That’s so unfair. How can two handsome guys partner up with each other?” One of the seniors jokingly complained while Diane looked puzzled for some reason.

“So, what do you want? Wanna join our table?” Aries then asks. Others might think he’s being kind for asking me that, but I could already see from a mile away that he was trying to get me to leave.

I didn’t want to ask him to join us anymore, but when I turned to my table, I could see Steph and the others encouraging me. So I took a deep breath and finally asked him, “Sorry, the guys at my table wanted to meet you and asked if you could join us at our table.”

Alright, I finally asked him the darn question. Now all I have to do is get rejected and tell the other guys that Aries—

“Sure,” Aries suddenly answers, surprising not only me but the seniors with him as well.

“Seriously, Aries?! You just got here, and you’re already joining the lower years?” One of them says, and Aries just laughs and stands from his seat, not caring that the others want him to stay.

“He’s my freshman partner. I gotta take care of him, you know?” Aries says before looking at me, instantly making me look away from him the moment our eyes meet.

What the fuck is going on? Why did he suddenly agree to join us at the table? I thought for sure he’d say no because he hates me. Is he doing this out of spite? Is he going to do something as revenge for what I did back in the classroom?

“Hi guys, I’m Aries. Thank you for asking me to join you here,” Aries greeted them when we got back to our table.

Everyone instantly started introducing themselves to him, while Justin gave me a thumbs-up for being such a good sport. I sighed and just sat back in my seat before opening another bottle of beer. But as I try to drown myself with alcohol, Steph suddenly stands from her seat and offers her chair to Aries, surprising me.

“You can sit here so you and Dom can sit together,” Steph suddenly offers, moving to the seat beside Justin and the others.

Aries smiles and thanks her, and then he takes a seat beside me. As soon as he sat down, a familiar scent instantly welcomed me, immediately making me turn my head to look away from him.

Seriously Dom?! This is not the right time and place to be acting like a pervert.

“So Aries, the Foundation Week is coming up. The council must be very busy then,” someone at our table suddenly asked while another handed him a cold beer.

Aries thanks him and then takes a sip of it before answering, “It is, but we’re managing. The junior interns have been very helpful after all.”

“By the way, who’s your representative for the freshman pageant? The pair we chose to represent the Institute of Tourism is topnotch, so you guys gotta step up your game,” Steph then says, instantly making me chug my beer down again.

Can this night just stop embarrassing me for one second?

“The pageant? Isn’t that you, Dom?” Justin then blurts out.

Nope, I guess the night just can’t stop embarrassing me.

“Whoa, seriously, Dom? You got chosen for the pageant?” Steph asks in shock. And based on Aries’s reaction, he didn’t know about that either.

“A-Actually, I wasn’t really chosen, but because of unfortunate circumstances…I volunteered and signed up for it myself,” I then reveal, shocking the guys at my table even more.

Great, now I’m known as Domingo Adlawan, the guy that’s so confident he signed himself up in a pageant that everyone seems to be so excited about.

“Wow, Dom! I knew you were cool, but I didn’t know you were this much of a sport,” the Mass Comm student says, and all I could do was awkwardly laugh at it, pretending like it wasn’t a big deal.

“Speaking of the pageant, didn’t you and Diane win it during your year,” another girl at our table revealed, and this time, it was my turn to be surprised. So Aries was a contestant and ended up winning the pageant? Now that I think about it, they were trying to recruit Arthur before I even signed up for it. That must have been the reason.

“We just got lucky,” Aries answered, trying to act humble.

“Oh please, I heard you guys won the pageant in a landslide. Until now, people are still talking about it,” Steph says, and the others couldn’t help but agree.

“But is it true that you’re still together?” Someone then asks, and the questions surprise me more than Aries did.

To be honest, I didn’t want him to answer that at all. Other than the fact that it’s not our business to begin with, hearing him talk about her just makes me feel weird. Maybe weird isn’t even the right word for it, but instead, insecure. Diane is a perfect woman. I know for a fact that Aries likes men, but I’m not certain if that means he doesn’t like women. After all, they really were in a relationship, right?

Having good looks won’t be enough if I want Aries to take me seriously. If that’s the ex that he has, then his standards are already way too high. I literally feel like a loser now after seeing her.

I didn’t know I’d even end up feeling like this because of him.

“Diane and I are—”

“You guys want more drinks?” I quickly ask, instantly cutting Aries off. Before anyone could even answer me, I already got up from my seat and walked back to where the seniors were, escaping our table so I wouldn’t be able to hear about Aries’s love life.

“Wayne, our table’s asking for more drinks,” I say as I approach him.

“Oh sure, just tell the guys at the bar and put it under my name,” Wayne answers.

I nodded my head and got ready to make my way to the bar, but out of nowhere, Ms. Diane Montecastro suddenly stood from her seat and told me, “I’ll join you. I wanna grab a couple of snacks for our table too.”

I was too surprised to even say anything, but then we eventually got to the bar area and ordered the snacks and drinks together. I felt completely awkward all throughout, but thankfully Diane doesn’t realizes it.

“So, Dom, how’s Aries?” Diane suddenly asked when we were walking back to our tables. I was holding a bucket of beer, so when I heard her question, I literally almost dropped it.

“A-Aries? Well, you know…he’s great. We’re not really close, but he’s a cool guy,” I try to explain, and Diane bites her lips and nods in understanding.

“So you don’t know if he has a new girlfriend?” She then asked me next, and this time, I ended up coughing on absolutely nothing.

“New girlfriend?” I ask back, sweat streaming down my temple like I was being interrogated for a crime I actually committed. “As I said, we’re not close enough for him to open up about that. We just study together, and we rarely talk about our personal affairs.”

“Is that so?” Diane replies, and this time, she scratches her arm, indicating that she wants to ask me more about him. Why is she even asking me about it in the first place? Out of all the people here, it just had to be me.

“Dom, I’ll give it to you straight. I know you’re not an idiot, and I know you’ve heard the rumors,” she suddenly says with a much more serious tone, instantly making me stop walking to look at her.

What on earth is she talking about all of a sudden? What rumors? Could it be that people are already speculating that Aries is…

“I’m still very much in love with Aries,” Diane suddenly reveals, making me widen my eyes in shock. “I know we’ve broken up, but I never really agreed to it. It’s been a while since we’ve last talked, so as someone who’s really trying her best, can you please talk about me with him? Maybe help me change his mind,” she then tells me.

I was still in a state of shock after hearing something like that from her, so I wasn’t able to give an immediate response. So when Diane noticed my reaction, she suddenly started laughing at herself.

“God, I’m so pathetic,” she says as she leans against the wall, brushing her long hair back with her fingers. “People always say I can have anyone I want but…I’m sorry, Dom. This was ridiculous. Please pretend like I didn’t say anything.”

Diane was about to walk away in embarrassment, but I quickly grabbed her hand to stop her.

“Hey, you’re not pathetic. And that wasn’t ridiculous at all,” I tell her, and I didn’t even know why I was telling these things to her, but for some reason, I saw myself in her. Diane must have been so desperate to reach out to me like this, a guy she had just met. I guess even the prettiest girl in the world would feel insecure when it comes to the person they like.

“I can’t really promise you anything, but if I get the chance, I’ll try talking about it with him,” I tell her, even though I knew damn well that I wouldn’t.

“Thanks, Dom. I really appreciate it,” she replies, and I immediately let go of her hand and nod my head.

The two of us got back to our table as if nothing had happened. Aries, Justin, Steph, and the others at our table were already comfortable with each other, laughing at jokes that weren’t even that funny.

As I placed the bucket of beer down, I sat back on my seat and just drank in silence, listening to their conversation and sometimes pitching in when needed.

The entire night, I couldn’t help but think about Diane. I couldn’t help but imagine how she and Aries were in the past and how serious the relationship was that Aries even introduced her to his family. I couldn’t help but think of different reasons of why they might have broken up and why Aries tries to act like they never had a past together.

I couldn’t help but think about it because I was afraid that I might end up being exactly like her. Maybe the thing we have together is all because of the spur of the moment, and when Aries doesn’t need me anymore, he’ll just throw me away and pretend like none of it happened while I’m still stuck in the past, desperately trying to cling on him even though it’s already over.

“I told you, I’ve watched that movie a hundred times now, but it still made no sense. That’s why my boyfriend always told me to read books instead. The movie left out so many details,” Steph says, their random conversations still going strong after two hours.

“Why make a movie then if they’re just gonna butcher the source material?” Justin then adds, now sounding like a scholar all of a sudden because of all the alcohol he drank. “I’m telling you, those guys only sell the title. They don’t care about the content at all.”

“That’s what I’m saying!”

While everyone was still engrossed in their conversation that had the topic of movie adaptations, I opened up my seventh bottle of beer for the night. Thanks to the nature of my job, my alcohol tolerance has gotten better. Of course, it’s gonna destroy my liver, but at least I’m not broke.

As I got ready to drink my seventh bottle, my hand instantly stopped when I felt something heavy against my thigh. I put the bottle down and looked under the table. To my surprise, resting right on top of my thighs was Aries’s hand.

“But what movie have you guys watched that perfectly followed the book? I personally liked…”

Everyone was still busy talking. Aries was even nodding his head to agree to some of them. But while he was talking with the others, his hand continued to hold onto me. I couldn’t move a single muscle, and all I could do was sit on my chair and brush my hair back with my fingers in frustration as Aries’s hand started to move further.

I took a deep breath and grabbed a bottle of water while Aries continued to snake his hands lower. But just as he was about to touch my crotch, Diane suddenly appeared at our table, immediately making Aries pull his hand away from me.

I accidentally spilled the water that I was holding because of shock, but thankfully no one noticed what was going on under the table.

“Aries, I’m heading home,” Diane tells him.

“Then go home,” Aries coldly replies, but that doesn’t bother her at all.

“I told you, my car is at the shop. And it’s already late, so come on. You drove me here, so you might as well drive me home,” Diane insists.

Everyone at our table was sending weird looks at each other, but as I expected, Aries sighed and stood from his seat. “I’ll have to head out first. Thanks, guys,” Aries tells everyone.

Some started whining like kids, so Aries just laughed and told them that he’d make up for it next time. Aries then heads to Wayne and thanks him before finally heading out with Diane. The asshole didn’t even look at me once all throughout.

“ You’re seriously driving me crazy, “ I mumble to myself. I grabbed my seventh bottle again and got ready to drink it, but I immediately placed it back down again and decided not to drink it anymore.

After Aries and Diane left, the conversation at our table mellowed down. There was no point in me staying either, so after a couple of minutes, I also excused myself and told everyone that I was heading home.

“Oh dude, want me to drive you back?” Justin asked when I got up from my seat.

“No, it’s fine. You enjoy yourself. But if you’re already too drunk, please, for the love of me, Justin, don’t drive. Ask someone else to take you home,” I tell him, and Justin—whose face was already red—smiles and gives me an okay sign, making me sigh.

I went to the seniors’ table as well and thanked Wayne for having me. I also told him to drive Justin home instead because there’s no way in hell I’m going to let that asshole drive his motorcycle in that state. Thankfully Wayne wasn’t as drunk and said he had a car with him.

It was already 10 PM when I got out of the bar. The bus I ride on passes on this street, so heading home wouldn’t be much of a hassle.

“ By this time, Aries is already driving Diane home ,“ I whisper to myself with a sad expression as I walk towards the bus stop. But as I was walking, I suddenly spotted a familiar car that was parked beside the pavement, and leaning against it was none other than Aries Buan.

“Aries?” I confusingly ask as I approach him.

Aries was leaning against his car, smoking. I looked around to check if Diane was with him, but to my surprise, she was nowhere to be found.

“What are you still doing here?” I ask him.

Aries looks at me, but instead of answering my question, he pulls out his cigarette pack and shows it to me. “Want one?” He offers.

I stared at the cigarette for a while, but after a second, I took a stick and stood beside him, leaning on his car as well as I placed the stick inside my mouth. Aries pulls out his lighter, and then he leans close to me and lights up my cigarette. After that, the two of us became silent.

People were walking down the pavement, and we could even hear muffled music coming from inside the clubs, but for some reason, the atmosphere felt peaceful.

I inhale the smoke and let it cool my throat before exhaling it. I then looked up at the sky and stared at the moon. The way it glowed made my body relax, and then the cold wind kissed my skin, slowly putting a small smile on my face as I remembered a similar scene.

“It’s the waxing gibbous phase,” Aries suddenly says. “It’s the same as that time,” he then adds, immediately making me look back at him.

Aries lets the smoke escape his mouth, and then he turns his head to me, staring deeply into my eyes, just like the time we were sitting in the back of my house.

The two of us continue to stare at each other, and then, without even thinking about it, my body starts to move closer. I moved closer and closer to him, and the fact that Aries wasn’t turning away made me even bolder. But just as our lips were about to touch, Aries suddenly whispered in my ear, “ Would you like to drive somewhere with me? “

The question came as a surprise, but like a dog on a leash, a smile instantly appeared on my face, and every confusion and doubt that I had on me instantly vanished.

“Sure. Let’s go.”

end.

(23) Drive Out

I FOUND MYSELF INSIDE Aries’s car for the fourth time. The first time was when he drove me to the hospital because my mother had collapsed. The second time was when he visited our house, and the third time was when we went to a motel.

When I was in high school, I always thought I’d end up experiencing some kind of romance. I imagined it to be sweet and innocent, something like those viral videos we see where a guy heads over to his girlfriend’s classroom and shyly hands her a bouquet on Valentine’s Day. That was the kind of romance I was hoping for.

There’s also a fact that in high school, my classmates knew I was gay. As I said, I was always open about it. I had the privilege to be open about it. I was practically an open book, but still, I wasn’t able to experience that kind of romance.

There was a downfall when it came to my confidence. My friends usually labeled me as a troublemaker, but I was simply outspoken. And because of this attitude, people were afraid of approaching me to the point where the first guy to ever confess to me was when the two of us were pissing in the toilet together.

“ You’re Dom, right? “ I remember him asking, standing just two urinals away from me.

“ Yeah, that’s me. “

“ I’m just like you, and I think you’re cute. Wanna go out sometime? “

That conversation was the stupidest conversation I had, but as a high schooler, that was everything. That guy was a senior, and I was in my second year. When he asked me if I wanted to go out sometimes, he apparently meant to hide at some alley in school and make out. He also didn’t want to make our relationship public, which was fine because I wasn’t the guy to force someone to come out of the closet just because I felt left out.

Long story short, he graduated, and he has never talked to me ever since.

Looking back, that was such a very unpleasant memory. I was basically treated as an ’ experience ’ or like an experiment. I should have known better since the asshole literally confessed to me in the restroom, but you know, people sometimes become stupid when they’re in love.

Now you may ask, why on earth are you even telling us this, Dom?

Well, I’m sharing this short story because I’m feeling the same thing I did back in high school.

Aries feels like the senior who used me as an experience. Deep down inside me, I know how this is going to end. After going through the same thing, I should know better now, right?

Then why…

Why am I sitting in his car for the fourth time?

“You drink too much,” Aries suddenly says, making me snap my head back to look at him.

“Excuse me?”

“You already drink a lot of alcohol when you’re at work, right? Then you should avoid drinking so much when you’re out, regardless of your alcohol tolerance. It will destroy your kidney,” Aries suddenly tells me while his eyes are still glued on the road.

I stare at him in disbelief, and then I look away and try to hide a smile. Now, this is the exact reason why I’m sitting in his passenger seat for the fourth time. Moments like these are what makes me try even harder, even when sometimes I end up looking desperate.

As I said, love makes us stupid to the point where it annoys us too.

“Aren’t you going to judge me for working at a gay club?” I ask him.

Aries didn’t answer me for a couple of seconds, so I thought he was just ignoring me. But when he stops at a red light, he takes a deep breath and says, “Why would my opinion even matter? Even if I did judge you, you shouldn’t stop because of it. You chose to do it for a reason, so just do it.”

“Is that so?”

“But as a council president, I advise you not to get caught by the professors or anyone from the university. You’re a future educator, and the office might not be happy about your work’s nature,” Aries then adds.

“Sounds like you’re worried,” I tease him, but then the stop light turns green, and Aries steps on the gas and ignores my statement this time.

The two of us didn’t say anything anymore after that. I honestly wanted to ask about Diane, but I knew that this wasn’t the right time and place to open it up. It’s also not any of my business, so I shouldn’t ruin the mood by mentioning her.

Since I was already here, I decided to just enjoy each passing minute that I had with this mysterious man. I would glance at him from time to time, but I usually just looked out the window to stare at the moon. It was surprisingly a relaxing drive, and I could tell that Aries felt the same because his expression looked softer than usual.

After approximately an hour of silent driving, Aries finally stopped the car. I looked out the window to check where this man had brought me, but as soon as I saw the neon lights, my eyes instantly widened in shock.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” I angrily ask him. “And here I thought we could actually have a decent conversation with each other.”

Aries, who was removing his seat belt, looks at me with furrowed brows and asks, “What on earth are you even talking about?”

“That!” I say, pointing at the motel right outside.

I thought Aries was going to make up excuses, but he suddenly grabbed me by the cheeks instead and forced me to look at the other building. Besides the neon lights was actually an old goto house ( Basically a rice porridge shop ). The shop was so small that I wasn’t even able to notice it at first glance.

“What do you even think of me, Mr. Domingo M. Adlawan?” Aries asks back before letting go of my cheeks and stepping out of the car.

My cheeks instantly started burning, and it was not because Aries grabbed it but because I felt extremely embarrassed for accusing him of only wanting to have sex with me. All I could do was lower my head and hide my face beneath the palm of my hands.

“ Dom, you’re an idiot. You’re an actual idiot. “

“Hey, what are you still doing there? Come on,” Aries suddenly asks while knocking on the window.

I tried to compose myself and save whatever face I had left on me, so I finally got out of the car and tried to play it cool.

Aries glances at me before locking his car, and then he walks towards the goto house, making me follow right behind him.

The two of us went to the shop, which surprised me because I wasn’t expecting Aries to bring me to such a place. Not to sound mean or anything, but the shop looked really old. The seats were made from wooden boxes, the electric fan made this weird sound that would make you think that the blades are gonna blast off any second. There were flies around the fluorescent lights and even a couple of lizards on the wall.

This is a kind of shop Gelo, and I would definitely eat at, so having Aries bring me here is a bit surprising.

“Aries!” An older woman suddenly greeted us when we got there.

“Good evening, Dada. Hopefully, we’re not too late,” Aries greets with a smile, but compared to the smile he had on at the bar we were at earlier, this smile looked a lot more genuine.

“I was just about to close, but please, take a seat. I’ll hand you, and your friend the menu,” The woman named Dada says before running back to the kitchen.

“Let’s sit here,” Aries says, taking a seat near an open window so we could have the wind blow on us inside.

When we finally got to our seats, Aries looked at me and explained, “That’s Dada. She owns the place. She singlehandedly cooks the food here, but sometimes her daughter helps out.”

“I didn’t know that this was your type of restaurant,” I genuinely say, not to make fun of him, but simply because I didn’t expect him to like these types of places. If I had known, I would have brought him to my favorite shops by now.

“I eat here whenever I’m a bit tipsy. The porridge helps with my headache,” Aries shares with me.

“Alone?” I then ask, and Aries doesn’t answer.

Right on time, Ms. Dada comes back with the menu. She handed them both to us, and Aries instantly started ordering the food he wanted to eat before I could even read the contents.

“I’ll have the medium-sized beef special with extra egg. One order of fried tofu and a warm glass of water,” Aries says before looking at me.

I looked down at the menu and started staring at the price out of habit. I have extra cash with me now thanks to my job as a table employee, but I’m still very mindful of the things I spend on, even when it’s cheap.

“Don’t worry, it’s on me,” Aries suddenly says, probably noticing me staring at the prices way too long.

“Really? Then I’ll graciously help myself with a large-sized pork special, extra egg, extra pork, and two orders of…fried tofu as well. Oh, and a can of coke,” I say with a smile, and Dada nods her head and writes everything down before heading to the kitchen.

I purposely ordered a lot to annoy Aries and get a reaction from him, but when I looked back at him, I surprisingly saw him covering his mouth so he could hide the fact that he was laughing instead.

“Are you making fun of me?” I ask, and Aries clears his throat and shakes his head.

“No, I’m just surprised that you have a huge appetite. Are you even going to finish all that, or did you order it out of spite?” He asked. And as I looked at him, trying his best not to laugh anymore, I almost ended up smiling because of how cute he looked.

To compose myself, I cleared my throat too before defending, “I’m not the type to waste food, so you don’t have to worry about me not finishing it. Besides, Dada’s cooking it all by herself. I at least want to show my appreciation by finishing all of it.”

I thought Aries would continue to laugh, but then he ended up smiling, almost making my heart skip a beat.

“That’s good to hear then,” he says before looking out of the window. “You know, I haven’t really asked, but how’s your mother?”

The question came as a surprise even though it wasn’t something I should have been shocked about. But the mere fact that he was still thinking about my mom like this made me look down to hide the stupid smile on my face.

“She’s better,” I tell him. “She’s actually still not fully recovered, so she was forced to lessen her school load. But I think it’s a blessing in disguise since she doesn’t have to work so hard anymore. Besides, I’m helping out with our finances now, so she doesn’t really have to worry about it.”

“Does she know where you work?” He then asked, and this time, I felt guilty.

“No.”

“Is that why she thought I helped you get a job at a computer shop?” Aries then asks before looking at me.

I stare at my hands for a while before looking back at Aries again. “You must have already guessed that. I know I’m wrong for lying to her, but I still want to thank you for helping me out back then.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Aries says, putting his elbow on the table and resting his chin on his fingers. “You didn’t tell her the truth because you didn’t want her to be worried and feel guilty, right? Then there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“You think I should just lie to her?” I then ask.

“I think you should still tell her if you’re planning to work there for a long time. It would bring you more trouble if she finds out about it from someone else,” Aries advises, so I nod my head and thank him.

“Thank you, Aries,” I say.

“Hey, I only gave you advise. It’s not like I solved all your problems,” Aries says before shyly adding, “Besides, I’m still your senior partner. I still have the obligation to take care of you.”

“I don’t think senior partners do what you and I do together,” I then tease because he looked fucking cute when he was acting all shy about it. I couldn’t help it.

I thought Aries would ignore me again, but surprisingly, he kicked me under the table, instantly making me wince in pain.

Aries laughed at my reaction, and then the two of us looked out of the window again, staring at the moon above us.

We didn’t say anything as we waited for our food to arrive. A few cars drove down the street, dogs were barking at a distance, and people from different walks of life walked past us. It definitely reminded me of the time when we were at my house, smoking at the back while staring at a similar moon.

It honestly felt like a long time ago.

“By the way, Dom.”

“Hmm?”

“It’s a bit late, but congratulations on getting high grades on your first exams,” Aries suddenly says, making me look back at him in shock. The moment I heard him say those words, I was suddenly reminded of the sticky note I had found in between the papers of my notebook. It was a sticky note Aries secretly wrote for me that stated he’d treat me out if I passed the exams.

Is this the reason why he brought me here?

“ You actually did it, “ I whisper under my breath, making Aries furrow his brows in confusion.

“What did you say?” He asks back. But before I could even answer him, Dada arrived with our food.

The two of us ate like normal friends, and despite the strange relationship we both decided to have, we ended up hanging out like two decent human beings. It’s a surprise because I never thought we’d be able to do something like this together.

After the late-night meal, Aries was true to his words and paid the bill. And even though I didn’t want the night to end, we eventually went back to the car and got ready to leave.

“You can drop me off at a bus stop,” I say as I put my seatbelt back on.

“It’s alright, I can just drive you home. I already know where it is anyway,” Aries casually replies, making me smile like an idiot again for the hundredth time.

As the two of us got ready, Aries finally started the car. But as he was about to start the car, the engine suddenly stopped, making me look back at him.

“Are you fucking serious?” Aries suddenly says with an angry tone.

“What’s going on?” I ask, but instead of answering me, Aries rushes out. I immediately got off too to see what the fuss was about, but when Aries and I looked under his car, we suddenly saw a puddle. And judging by the smell, it’s definitely gas fuel.

“This can’t be happening. I just got my car checked,” Aries says while massaging his temple in frustration.

“They must have installed your hoses wrong,” I tell him. “We can call for a tow truck. If I remember correctly, there’s also a gas station a few blocks away from here.”

“It’s already too late for that,” Aries says before kicking the wheels of his car in frustration.

I looked around to check if there were any car shops nearby, but there weren’t any. And like what Aries said, it’s already too late in the night. Even if there were one, they’d probably be closed.

To be honest, I could call Gelo and ask for his help because I know for a fact that that guy doesn’t sleep. But just as I was about to grab my phone, I suddenly spotted the motel sign that I had seen earlier. In an instant, an idea popped right in front of me.

“You know, since we’re already in this kind of situation…should we just stay in that hotel for the night? What do you say, Aries?”

end.

(24) Overnight

I WAS AWKWARDLY TRYING to reread old messages on my phone as I waited for Aries to book us a room in the motel right beside the store we just ate at. Even though I was the one who suggested it, I couldn’t help but feel a bit anxious about it.

“A regular garage room and an extra bed,” Aries casually says to the receptionist, not even batting an eye as the receptionist stares at the two of us with that mischievous look she has on.

“Alright, we’ll call for you when your room is ready. While waiting, you can stay at the lounge,” the receptionist then says, and Aries nods his head and looks back at me.

“I’ll ask the staff if they can push my car to the garage. Just wait here until they call for you,” Aries says, and before I can even answer him, he heads out, leaving me alone in the lobby.

It was pretty late, but I still texted my mom first to tell her I was staying at Aries’s house. I obviously can’t tell her we’re at a motel, but at least I can tell her I’m with Aries. My mom likes him, so I’m confident she won’t get mad about this.

After sending the message, I hid my phone back inside my pocket and looked back at the receptionist with a smile. “Uhm…where do I have to wait again?” I ask her, and the receptionist smiles back at me before pointing at the waiting area on the right.

I bow my head to thank her and walk there in silence. As soon as I sat down, I grabbed my phone again and started looking through my gallery this time, even though I barely had any pictures in it except for a dozen photos of my classmate’s notes and a formula my professor wrote on the whiteboard.

When I could no longer pretend like I was doing something, I turned my phone off and started looking around the waiting area instead to humor myself. I know I’m the one who suggested all this, but why on earth am I acting so shy? We’re only here to stay for the night and sleep, nothing more. I’m not going to betray Aries’s trust and suddenly attack him. I shouldn’t even be thinking about sex at all. We’re starting to mend our somehow broken relationship, if we even had a relationship, to begin with. I don’t want to fuck it up just because of something like this.

I like Aries, and that like isn’t the same as the like I feel about the customers I get in the bar. The like I have for him stems deeper. It’s as big as the universe I can’t seem to fully grasp. I want to know more about him, I want to know what he’s thinking, what he likes and dislikes, as well as his true feelings for me.

Does the like I have for him the same like that he has for me? That’s what I want to know.

“Sir, your room is ready,” a male employee now standing in front of me says, immediately making me stand from my seat.

“Please follow me,” he then says, and then the two of us walk to the back where the garage rooms can be found. The employee gestures at the garage room where we’ll be staying, and inside, Aries’s car is already parked.

“Here’s your key, sir. If you need anything else, just let us know.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Enjoy your stay,” the employee says before leaving.

As soon as he was gone, I looked inside Aries’s car and checked if he was inside, but he wasn’t. So I just went up to our room and opened the door.

The motel that Aries and I went to before was very different from this motel because that looked a lot more expensive. Well, I didn’t really care about it that much since everything was dark, and I was pretty much drunk the entire time, but why on earth am I comparing motels now?! I have honestly lost my mind. This is just ridiculous.

“Relax, Dom, you’re just here to sleep. You’re just here to sleep,” I repeatedly say like it was some sort of spell. 

I walk around the room that has a double bed and another extra bed on the floor. Aries still wasn’t in the room, so I decided to just wash up to cool my head down.

The bathroom had everything for a cheap motel. They had soap, shampoo, clean towels, and even a robe.

I removed my uniform and folded it neatly to the counter before taking a cold shower. I let the water fall on my face and then contemplated for a while like those guys in movies because I don’t get to do that on a regular since we don’t have a shower at home. Mama believes that showers waste water, and for someone who pays the water bill, I can’t complain.

After contemplating—which surprisingly worked because I felt calmer now—I took a towel and dried myself off. And then I washed my underwear and hung it to dry so I could use it again tomorrow. 

I wore the robe and walked outside, whistling a tune I heard from the club. But as soon as I got out of the bathroom, I suddenly saw Aries quietly sitting on the edge of the bed, making me gasp. The room was dimmer now, so seeing him there almost made me jump.

“You act like you saw a ghost,” Aries says while staring at the screen of his phone.

I awkwardly laughed and continued drying my hair with the towel around my neck, and then I immediately sat on the bed on the floor so we wouldn’t have to argue about it later.

“The staff told me they’ll call a mechanic to fix my car early in the morning. Hopefully, we’ll be ready to leave by six. You’ll a least have time to attend your second class at nine,” Aries explains to me.

“Wow, so you still remember my schedule after all,” I tease, and Aries just rolls his eyes in annoyance.

“Anyway, if we’re gonna leave early then I’m gonna sleep early. Besides, I think the booze is getting on me because I’m starting to get a little headache even though I already ate and took a bath,” I tell him, but Aries doesn’t really look interested enough to reply to that.

“Dry your hair before going to bed,” Aries suddenly replies instead as he stands from the bed and puts his phone back in his pants.

I continue to dry my hair with a towel as I watch Aries walk toward the bathroom. “Wanna help me dry it?” I jokingly ask because that’s what my mom usually does after I take a bath. I was expecting Aries to just ignore what I said since that would be the less awkward route, but this fucker suddenly snatched the towel from me.

“W-What are you—”

“Shut the fuck up.”

Aries sits back on the edge of the bed, positioning his legs in between me so he can properly dry my hair with the towel he forcefully stole from me. My body stiffens as Aries starts to rub the towel against my head, but after a while, I just relax and close my eyes, a bit embarrassed but still grateful that he wanted to even do such a ridiculous thing for me.

“You know, Aries, despite how hard you try to act all tough, you’re pretty kind,” I honestly tell him, making him chuckle.

“Kind? I’m not kind.”

“You are to me.”

“It’s because you’re annoying.”

“Shouldn’t you be mean to me instead if that were the case?” I ask him next, and Aries no longer answers that question.

“This might sound a little weird coming from me, but aren’t you tired of pretending like you’re the perfect student? Come on, you’re a senior. You’re rich, handsome, and smart. You don’t always have to be smiling at everyone and being a yes man. You don’t always have to be kind,” I explain to him, and Aries ends up laughing this time.

“Why are you desperately trying to make me mean?” He asks me, and I bend my head over so I can look at him, making him stop drying my hair with the towel.

“That’s not what I’m trying to say,” I defend, and Aries looks down at my face. The moment our eyes met, everything around me suddenly stopped again. Despite the dim light, he still managed to mesmerize me like this.

“I’m not entirely pretending. I’m just being decent, and nothing’s wrong with that. Just because I’m in a bad mood or just because I’m a little annoyed, it doesn’t mean I should show it. They don’t have to see all that. Because if they can’t see, they can’t ask questions.”

“So you keep it bottled in and get frustrated alone?” I ask him, and Aries lets go of my head and shrugs his shoulder.

“Well, I get frustrated with you easily, and I’m sometimes mean to you with no issue. So I guess that balances it out,” he jokingly replies, making me pout like a kid.

“But I don’t like it,” I say out loud before I can even stop myself.

“You don’t like it when I’m mean to you? You just said I shouldn’t be kind all the time,” he continues to say, and I can tell that he’s still joking around.

“It’s because you’re mean to her too,” I finally tell him.

“Her?”

“It feels like you’re treating me like her, and I don’t like how that plays out. She even told me that I should talk to you about her, and…shit…why am I even saying this to you? I guess I really did drink too much earlier,” I say in shame. I thought Aries would definitely be mad at me now for even opening this up, but he doesn’t. Instead, he decides to joke about it further.

“So that’s what this is about. You’re jealous,” Aries teases, making me look back at him again, only to see him grinning at me.

“I don’t have the right to be jealous of someone who isn’t mine,” I seriously tell him, and the grin on Aries’s face instantly disappears. He then bends over and leans his lips toward my face. My heart skipped a beat because I thought he was going to give me a kiss, but he stopped just inches away from me and gently pushed me away so he could stand from the bed.

“ You’re being mean,“ Aries tells me, making me furrow my brows.

“Why, are you?” I ask him, referring to the last statement I made.

Aries looked like he was about to answer, but then, I swear to it, he looked guilty for a quick second.

“I’m gonna use the bathroom. You can go to bed,” he tells me instead before heading inside the bathroom.

As soon as he closed the door, I leaned my back against the bed and rested my head on it, staring at the ceiling and lifting my hand out to cast a shadow. “ Now I’m the mean one? “ I ask myself while staring at the shapes I’m making with my hands. And then, like some kind of psychopath, I remember what Aries said just seconds ago.

“ You’re being mean, “ I repeated, remembering the look he had on his face. He looked like a kid whose lollipop got stolen by a bully, and the thought of it made me chuckle. Now I understand why guys sometimes like to pick on the people they like, and that realization made me hate myself even more.

“I should really go to bed. I’m turning into a real asshole little by little,” I say to myself, standing from the floor and hanging the towel on the side before finally getting to bed.

I could hear the shower inside the bathroom and used it to imagine rain falling outside. It worked like a relaxing ambiance because my eyes eventually felt heavy, and then I finally got to sleep.

I don’t exactly know how long I’ve been out, but when I opened my eyes back, it was already morning. Bright lights peeked through the curtains, and I instantly got hit by what we all call…hangover.

My head ached like crazy, and my body felt hot. I slowly got up from the bed, and lo and behold, Aries was no longer in his bed. I was honestly suspecting to see another note like the last time we went to a motel, but there weren’t any.

“Wow, I just slept at a hotel with the guy I like and didn’t think of doing anything crazy. Congratulations, Dom, you just did the bare minimum,” I sarcastically tell myself before brushing my hair back with my fingers.

I continued to look around the room to check if Aries was there, but the guy was nowhere to be found.

“Wait, did he seriously leave me?” I ask before heading to the bathroom to put my clean underwear and uniform back on. When I got out of the bathroom, I suddenly heard people talking in the garage, so I went out to check what it was. And there I saw Aries talking to the mechanic.

“You’re all set, sir,” the mechanic tells Aries as I approach them.

“Thanks. I really appreciate it,” Aries then answers before handing him the money. The mechanic smiles and thanks him before grabbing his toolbox. He then looks at me and smiles at me too, before finally taking his leave.

“You slept well?” Aries asks, now turning to look at me.

“Yeah. And you?” I ask, which was supposed to be a pretty normal question, but Aries somehow decides to ignore it, almost like I had just invaded his personal space.

“Anyway, I already paid for the room, so we can head out now. I’ll drive you to your house,” Aries suddenly tells me as he walks his way to the car door. He opened it and got ready to head inside, but I immediately stopped him.

“No, it’s fine. There are jeeps and buses outside at this hour, so I think I can go home myself,” I say, but Aries looked at me with that annoyed expression of his, so I just gave up and went inside the car with him.

The two of us got in, and then Aries turned the car on and started driving off, leaving the motel that should have left me with so many memories, but it didn’t. In fact, I had more memories at that rice porridge store than I did here, and I don’t hate that one bit.

“ Mama didn’t reply, “ I whisper as I check my phone again. I sent her another text saying that I’m heading home, and then I hid it back inside my pocket before glancing at Aries, who was concentrating on driving me back home.

“You know, my head is clearer now compared to yesterday, so I want to apologize for being rude last night. I know I crossed the line by mentioning your ex out of nowhere, so—”

“It’s fine,” Aries suddenly says, making me stop midsentence. “It’s not really important. Diane…she’s just…she deserves better. She deserves a guy who doesn’t like…” Aries pauses and clenches the steering wheel.

I look at him and suddenly end up pitying him, even though that’s the last thing he wants from me.

“Last night, you told me that I was mean to her. Believe me, Dom, if I were mean to her, I wouldn’t have broken up with her. For a time, I liked her, and I believed I liked her, but…it’s just complicated,” Aries continues to explain, which surprised me because he didn’t have to share this with me at all. But then again, I’m not going to stop him either. This might be the only time he’s going to open up about this with anyone. I should be able to be here and listen.

“I loved the idea of liking a woman, so I got lured by her. The idea of being normal and falling in love like everyone else. It was so easy for me to hold her hand in public and introduce her to my friends. And god, my parents loved her. I loved that life, the idea of having that life. It was painfully easy,” Aries says with a much more serious expression.

“But you didn’t love…her. And that was supposed to be the easiest part, but it wasn’t,” I say back, and Aries sighs and nods his head.

“I didn’t love her, and that was supposed to be the easiest part,” Aries repeats with a sad expression.

“Why are you explaining this to me all of a sudden?” I then ask him.

Aries continues to stare at the road, and without looking back at me, he answers, “It’s because you didn’t like it when I’m mean to you.”

The moment Aries said that I immediately turned my head away from him so he wouldn’t be able to see the stupid smile I had on me. I didn’t want him to know that that single sentence made me feel special, even just a little.

I guess this overnight stay was worth it after all.

…

“Here you are,” Aries says when he gets to my street.

“You can drop me off here. A lot of cars are parked in our street at this hour, so you might get a hard time getting out,” I tell him, and Aries nods his head and parks on the side.

“Thank you for driving me all the way here, as well as the food you treated me last night,” I say as grab my bag and I got off the car. Aries doesn’t say anything and just nods his head in reply.

“By the way, maybe you want some coffee? I can—”

“It’s fine, you better get home. Your mother might be worried by now,” he says instead, making me smile again. I didn’t say anything anymore and got ready to close the door. But just as I was about to do so, one of my neighbors suddenly spotted me and started running in my direction.

“Dom! You’re finally here!” My neighbor shouts, making me furrow my brows in confusion. Even Aries was looking at him.

“What’s going on? Did something happen?” I asked, and the answer I got was an answer that I wasn’t ready to hear at all.

“Y-Your mother…she collapsed again. Just this morning, Gelo found her. Thankfully he was able to bring her to the hospital in time,” my neighbor explains, instantly making me drop my bag on the floor.

“What did you just say?”

end.

(25) Have It All

“Y-YOUR MOTHER…SHE COLLAPSED  again. Just this morning, Gelo found her. Thankfully he was able to bring her to the hospital in time,” my neighbor explains, instantly making me drop my bag on the floor.

“What did you just say?” I ask in shock, my head instantly spinning as soon as I hear the news. I didn’t know if I was going to drop to the ground and just break down like last time, but before I could even think of anything, Aries suddenly reached out to me, instantly making me look in his direction.

“Dom, get in. I’ll drive you there,” Aries calmly says before looking back at my neighbor. “Sir, can you tell which hospital they took her to?”

“Oh yeah, of course. They brought her to St. Bernard Medical Hospital. Just go straight and make two left turns. You won’t miss it. It’s beside a public school,” he explains, and Aries thanks him before looking back at me.

“Let’s go,” he says, and I nod my head and finally get inside the car. Without any hesitation, Aries drives off, speeding through the road as my chest beats fast and my hands start trembling.

“She’s been having regular checkups now, and I’ve…I-I’ve bought all the medicine she needs. So why did she faint again? I don’t understand,” I nervously say as I start biting the nails on my fingers in panic.

Aries glances at me, and then he suddenly grabs my hand so I wouldn’t bite on my nails anymore. I thought he’d eventually let go of it, but he doesn’t. He continues to hold onto me tightly while he drives us to the hospital.

“Calm down. When we get to the hospital, you can ask the doctor about her condition. For now, you have to take deep breaths and calm yourself down, okay?” Aries says, making me look at him with my eyes teary.

I immediately wipe my eyes and look out of the window, letting Aries hold my hand so I wouldn’t have to be so scared.

“Aries, my mother is everything I have. I endured everything. I sold my fucking body, for god’s sake, and I do all that because of her. I do it all because of her,” I repeatedly say, tears now falling down my cheeks as I continue to stare out the window.

Aries didn’t say anything, but his silence was all that I needed. All he did was hold onto my hand, tightly squeezing it every time he noticed a tear fall. So when we finally arrived at the hospital, I wasn’t a total mess anymore.

“You head inside first. I’ll just park the car and meet you there,” Aries says, letting go of my hand.

“Thank you.”

I got off the car and ran inside the hospital. There were already a lot of people inside since this was a public hospital, so I literally had to push through to get to the counter. “What room is Yade Adlawan confined? I’m her son, Domingo Adlawan. I was told she was brought here,” I ask the nurse at the front desk, trying not to get pushed by the other people who were all hoping to get a doctor.

The nurse thankfully hears me and checks her computer. “Mrs. Adlawan is in room 204, second floor.”

I nod my head and run up the stairs to where my mother can be found. As soon as I got to the second floor, I instantly spotted Gelo sitting outside the room, looking at his phone while wearing a uniform. Looks like he was supposed to go to work today but decided to stay here.

“Gelo!” I call out, instantly making him stand from his seat to look at me.

“Did you just arrive? Where’s mama? Is she—”

“Where the fuck did you go last night?” Gelo angrily asks, surprising me. “You know that mama isn’t in her best condition. You shouldn’t be leaving her alone like that. Or you could have at least told someone about it so someone could check on her from time to time. That’s what you usually do when you go to work, right?”

’“I was…I…”

“What if I didn’t visit her this morning? Do you know how long she’s been unconscious, you idiot?!” Gelo continues to say to me, making me look down at the floor and clench my fist in frustration.

I wanted to defend myself at least, but there was nothing to defend. But just as I was about to say that I was sorry, someone suddenly pushed Gelo away from me, making my eyes widen in shock. I looked up to see who it was, and to my surprise, it was Aries.

“Are you seriously blaming him? Do you think Dom purposely wanted this to happen to his own mother?” Aries defended, which was something that he didn’t have to do for me, but he did.

“And who the fuck are you?” Gelo asks in annoyance. He continues to stare at Aries, but then he glances back at me before realizing that we are both wearing our college uniforms.

“Wait, you were with this guy the entire night? Oh, I get it now. You got so hooked up with this rich pretty boy you didn’t even—” Before Gelo could even finish his sentence, Aries suddenly grabs him by his collar, surprising not only Gelo but me too. Despite their height difference, Aries looked like he was ready to throw a punch.

“You think this situation isn’t hard for him? You seriously think scolding him like this would make it any better? Acting like this is all his fault…you don’t know what Dom has done for his mother, so stop insulting him,” Aries angrily says, making Gelo look at him with shock.

The two of them became quiet, but before I could even pull them apart, Aries eventually let go of Gelo, making Gelo fix his shirt and look at me apologetically.

“I’m sorry, I got a little heated. It’s just that mama—” Gelo suddenly stops and massages his temple before going back to his seat. I understand Gelo’s frustration, especially since we grew up together and mama has taken care of him more than his own parents. This is why we’re like brothers, so I fully understand why he’s this worried.

“What happened to mama?” I finally ask, making Gelo sigh and look down at the floor, his expression making me feel nervous again.

I waited for Gelo to answer me, but his silence only made me even more anxious. I almost grabbed him by the collar like Aries did to him earlier, but the door to my mother’s room suddenly opened, revealing a doctor and a nurse.

“Are you the immediate family of the patient?” the doctor asks, and Gelo and I quickly step forward.

“I was the one who brought her here, but this is her son, Domingo,” Gelo says while gesturing at me, and the doctor nods his head and faces me with a much more serious expression.

“I will say it to you now so we can discuss this further. Your mother had a mild heart attack. After further examinations, we found out that she has coronary heart disease,” the doctor explains, and as soon as he says it, everything around me stops.

“This is a serious matter, but it can still be prevented with the right medications. We’ll have to move her to a private hospital since we don’t have enough equipment here for observation. Her stay here will be covered by her health card, but the rest would be…” The doctor continued to explain the situation to me, but for some reason, I couldn’t understand him anymore.

His words started to float around my head like a puzzle that didn’t fit together. I wanted to fully understand everything that he was saying, but I was just stuck there, staring at him with my eyes wide in shock.

I wanted to cry all of a sudden. I wanted to drop to the floor and just let it all out, but then someone touched my shoulder, putting me back to my senses.

It was Aries.

“Your mother needs immediate care. She’ll have to stay in the hospital until she fully recovers. We’ll talk in detail when you’re ready. For now, you may check on her. Let us know if you’re done,” the doctor explains before finally walking away with the nurse.

“Dom, are you okay?” Gelo asks.

“ I’m fine. “ Those were the words that I wanted to say, but I couldn’t even open my mouth. All I could do was move my feet and walk my way to the room, Gelo following behind me. As soon as I got there, I saw my mother lying in bed, sleeping.

A tear falls down from my eyes as I walk closer to her. “ Mama… “ I whisper, and Gelo gently touches my shoulder to comfort me.

“I heard that your grandmother had heart disease too, so genetics was a big factor, apart from stress, overwork, and unhealthy food consumption,” Gelo explains to me as I reach out to touch her hand. “We’ll have to transfer her to a private hospital tomorrow. I’ll help you with the paperwork,” he then says.

The two of us became quiet inside the room, but then, as I held onto my mother’s cold hand, I suddenly realized something important. I held onto her hand tightly before finally letting go of her, and then I turned my head to Gelo and told him, “You were right, Gelo. I’m going to quit school. I’ve always known that studying is a waste of time. I should just start working now. I was never cut out to be a teacher anyway.”

Gelo was surprised, but before he could even say anything, Aries suddenly barged inside the room and interrupted him.

“No,” he says, making the two of us turn our heads to him. “You can’t quit. This is the last thing your mother wants you to do. Think rationally first before you decide on something that would decide your entire future,” Aries seriously tells me.

“But Aries, you heard what the doctor said. I can’t afford to pay for college and at the same time pay for her medical expenses. I’m not like you, okay? This isn’t a choice. I can’t—”

“I’ll help you,” Aries instantly says, but Gelo suddenly goes in between us, looking at Aries with an angry expression.

“Do you think we’ll want your money? Don’t look down on people like us,” Gelo says, but Aries doesn’t back down and stands firm with his statement.

“I may never be able to understand you, and I may never be able to understand the situation you are in, but when I visited your house and when I spoke to your mother briefly, she wanted nothing more but for you to finish your education. She worked hard and sacrificed her health for you, so do not mock her and say these things so easily,” Aries sternly says, instantly making my eyes water.

“I said I would help you, but not in a way that you might think. I will help you get a scholarship, Dom. With that, you won’t have to worry about college tuition. You can continue working, and you don’t have to quit school either,” Aries says, reaching out to grab my necktie and pulling me towards him so we can directly look into each other’s eyes. And for a quick second, as I looked deeply into his, I saw tears.

“You can have it all, Dom. Do not throw away the very thing that will give you and your mother a brighter future. Fight for it a little more so that your mother will no longer have to work so hard again. I will help you…I swear it.”

…

“Dom! I heard from Arthur. Is your mother okay?” Vicki asks as soon as she enters the classroom, Arthur following right behind her.

“Sorry, Dom. I heard from my brother. We just really got worried,” Arthur explains.

I turned my head to them and gave them a warm smile as they both sat beside me.

“If it’s alright with you, can I send a fruit basket? I haven’t really met your mother in person yet, but I really want to send my best wishes,” Vicki then says, making me grab her hand to squeeze it, thankful that she even thought of doing this for me.

“Thank you, guys. I appreciate it a lot. My mother’s still recovering at the hospital, but if you want, we can all visit her on the weekends,” I say, and the two of them nod their heads in agreement.

While Vicki and Art asked about her condition, Justin suddenly entered the classroom. As soon as he spots me, he points in my direction and excitedly says, “Dom! You son of a gun! That gathering was hella fun. Did you get so drunk that you weren’t able to go to class yesterday? If I’d known you’re a heavy drinker, I would have invited you to all the college gatherings.”

Justin joins us, but before he can take a seat, Vicki hits his arm and tells him, “You fucking idiot. Did you not read our group chat?”

“Our group chat?” Justin confusingly asks, pulling his phone out to check it. As soon as he saw the messages, his eyes widened in shock, and he immediately looked at me with a guilty expression. “Shit, Dom, I’m—”

“Hey, it’s no big deal. The good thing is they got her to the hospital on time, and is recovering well. I’ll just have to work harder on my job and study harder to get a scholarship. Easy peasy,” I say, and my friends end up giving me a sad expression, making me chuckle at them.

“Why are you all looking at me like that?”

“It’s because…” Vicki pauses, and then she grabs me to give me a tight hug. Soon after, she starts crying, surprising all of us. “I don’t know how you do it, Dom. We know that sometimes you hide your troubles from us, but we’re always worried. You’re not alone, you know?”

“We’re here, Dom,” Art tells me.

“If you need our help, we’ll be there. As they say, you meet your realest friends in college,” Justin adds with a grin, but then he gives out a soft smile as he reaches out to pat my shoulder.

For some reason, I was filled with overwhelming emotions that made my eyes tear up, making me hug Vicki back even tighter.

Life is hard. I know it well. But I have friends like them who care about me, my caring colleagues at work, as well as Gelo, who I also consider my family. And then…there’s Aries, who sees so much in me that I can’t even see myself. I have all these people around me, so mama…fight just a little longer, okay? And I will fight a little longer too.

I will definitely get that scholarship.

“Alright, everyone, you may go. Don’t forget to work on your report for the next meeting. Class dismissed,” Ms. Ortega says before grabbing her things and leaving the room.

“Finally! I’m freakin’ hungry!” Justin shouts, standing from his seat while stretching his arms. “I hope the cafeteria will serve something fried because I’m craving for that oily goodness right now.”

“Dom, let’s go?” Vicki says while I shove my things in my bag.

“Oh, I can’t join you right now since I have somewhere to go. You guys can go ahead, okay?” I tell them. And before they could even ask me about it, I immediately ran out of the classroom.

I went straight to the council office, which I’m going to visit frequently from now on. I knocked on the door and went inside, and there I saw Aries sitting on his desk, reading a book that I can only assume is for his own classes.

“Sorry, I’m late. Our classes just ended,” I say, and Aries puts down his book to look at me.

“You were only late for five minutes, so there’s no need to apologize. Now take a seat and have this.” Aries puts his book down, and then he pulls a plastic bag from under the desk and hands it over to me.

“What is that?” I confusingly ask.

“Your lunch,” he says. “I knew you were going to skip your meal, so I bought one for you to eat here.”

“N-no, I can’t possibly—”

“You can pay me later. Just eat. Your mom is in a terrible condition, so don’t go ruining your health too,” he reminds me, so I finally grabbed the plastic bag and took the seat in front of me.

As I place the lunch on the desk and start eating, Aries adjusts the glasses that he’s wearing and hands me a schedule similar to the one he gave me during our previous study sessions.

“I looked at your grades last prelim, and they were average scores. It’s not below average, but they’re not high enough to get you a scholarship,” Aries explains to me as I grab the schedule from his hand.

“The Institute offers a scholarship every quarter, so you still have a chance to get qualified before midterms. I made a schedule of the lessons you’ll be having based on the course plan your professors gave you. We’ll study them in advance,” Aries explains further, making me nod my head in understanding.

“Next week will be the university’s foundation week, which means we won’t have any regular classes. That could have been a perfect time for you to study, but it seems like you applied for the pageant, so you’ll have to work on that instead,” Aries then reminds me, making me sigh.

After chewing the food in my mouth and swallowing it, I looked back at Aries and told him, “You know, I could just tell them that I’m quitting. I don’t think I have the time to be in a pageant right now.”

“Do your plans always involve quitting?” Aries sarcastically asks, making me clear my throat and awkwardly look away from him.

“Look, you applied for that position, and it would be too late for you to back out now, especially when you’ll start practice on Monday. You might see it as a waste of time, but this school pageant may also be a good thing. Active participation in school events can boost your chances of getting a scholarship, especially if you win it,” Aries says, and when I looked back at the schedule he gave me, I noticed that he did include the pageant in our lesson plan.

He really did think all this through.

This guy…why is he putting so much effort into this?

“It may be embarrassing to admit, but I won the year I joined the pageant, so I will also help you win it,” Aries says, and for some reason, even though that wasn’t my intention, I started laughing, making Aries cross his arms and look at me angrily.

“Yeah, laugh at the person who genuinely wants to help you.”

“N-No, sorry. It’s just that…I never expected to hear you say such a thing. It came as a shock,” I try to defend myself, but Aries just rolls his eyes back and removes his glasses.

“You can laugh all you want, but I’m very serious. I told you, didn’t I? You can have it all, Dom. And I will definitely teach you everything I know so that it can happen,” Aries says with a determined look on his face, making me look back at him seriously too.

“I can have it all,” I repeated before looking at the lunch Aries bought for me. I smiled as I remembered everything he had done for me thus far. During the time I didn’t have anything to eat, when I was failing my classes, or the time when I was feeling disgusted with myself because of how I got my school uniform. There was even the time my mother was brought to the hospital for the first time. In all those instances, Aries was there to help me.

He might not know this, but he heavily influences my determination to push forward. So I will definitely become a better person so that the people who sacrificed so much for me won’t be disappointed.

“You’re right. I’ll have it all, just like you said. I’ll have that scholarship, I’ll help mama have a better life…and I’ll have the boy that I stupidly like take me seriously and admit he likes me too. So watch over me carefully, Aries Buan. The universe may be vast, but our stars are aligned for a reason. And I will have everything by the time this is over. I swear it to the moon and back.”

end.

(26) Promised Kiss [m]

“YOU’RE RIGHT. I’LL HAVE  it all, just like you said. I’ll have that scholarship, I’ll help mama have a better life…and I’ll have the boy that I stupidly like take me seriously and admit he likes me too. So watch over me carefully, Aries Buan. The universe may be vast, but our stars are aligned for a reason. And I will have everything by the time this is over. I swear it to the moon and back.”

Those were the words that I told Aries yesterday, which was such a bold statement, in my opinion, but I believe that if you scream your desires to the universe, they will eventually come true.

Aries didn’t say anything after I said all that, and that’s probably to save us both from the embarrassment of talking about it further. Honestly, his silence was better. It’s better because he didn’t contradict it, so it’s safe to assume that he’s not going to stop me from properly pursuing him. And that’s better than nothing.

“You’ll have your photoshoot on Tuesday next week, and they’ll post those photos on Wednesday. The pageant heavily relies on popularity, so we need you to be out there. People need to see you, and that’s exactly what we’re gonna do,” Aries explains the next day, the two of us staying in an empty classroom that he asked permission to use privately.

Perks of being a student council president, I guess.

“We need people to know your name, so this is what we’re going to do,” Aries explains further as he starts writing something down on the whiteboard like a real teacher. 

I stared at him as he wrote down the words Public Exposure 101.

“Tomorrow, the student council will be hosting a fundraising event. We’ll be selling goods on campus, goods that were made by the women in the Correction Institute for Women in the city. All the sales we get here will be given to them. This is the perfect opportunity for other students to see you,” Aries says, almost making me chuckle.

“This sounds like something a politician would do. Not gonna lie.”

“And that’s the reason why they win.”

“That’s kinda dark if you think about it.”

“Let’s not make unnecessary analysis here,” Aries then says with an annoyed expression, so I just sighed and wrote all the details down in my notebook.

“This isn’t just about the pageant, okay? Joining in these events can help you get that scholarship. The midterm exams will start on November 13, and the new batch of students who will get the scholarships will be announced on November 10, so you only have 2 weeks left to do well,” Aries says while writing the dates down on the board.

“I only submitted my application yesterday. Do you seriously believe I’ll still get this scholarship like everyone else?” I ask, and Aries looks back at me with so much dedication in his eyes that all I can do is believe him.

“Anyway, going back to the pageant,” Aries says as he starts writing something down on the board again.

Introduction

Talent Portion

Question & Answer

I wrote everything down in my notebook as well, but as soon as I realized what these all were, I immediately looked at Aries in shock and said, “Talent portion?!”

Aries turns and looks back at me with his arms crossed. “Of course, this is a pageant. They always have a talent portion.”

“B-But…I don’t have a talent,” I say, and for a second, I thought Aries would end up laughing at me, but he didn’t.

“During the talent portion, you’ll end up doing it with your partner. My partner at that time wanted us to sing, but I aggressively went against it. Thankfully my senior partner knew how t play the guitar, so he thought me how to play an easy song, and that’s what we did,” Aries explains, and the mere mention of his previous partner suddenly made me feel annoyed.

So during the time he entered the pageant, his senior partner was helping him out too, just like how Aries is helping me.

“Then I definitely don’t want to play the guitar,” I reply, thanks to my own pettiness. I don’t want Aries to be remembering his past love interest because of me.

“What are you going to do then?”

“Let’s see…” I pause and scratch my chin, thinking of something I can possibly do. While I was brainstorming, I suddenly remembered the guys at the bar, and I instantly got an idea.

“What if I dance?” I finally ask, catching Aries off guard.

“Dance?”

“Yeah, dance. I’m confident, and people say that the key component of dancing is confidence. Besides, I can ask the stage employees back at the bar to teach me. It’s going to be amazing!” I excitedly say, making Aries look back at me with disbelief. He looks like he’s going to say something against it and encourage me to choose something else, but Aries ends up sighing heavily, almost like he accepted defeat.

“You know, do whatever you want,” he says, and I start cheering like a complete idiot.

“Anyway, the question and answer portion will be easy, so all that’s left is your overall performance. Thankfully you’re handsome and charming enough. You’re tall too, so that’s a bonus,” Aries then says as he starts erasing the words on the board.

“Really? Does that fit your description of an ideal man then?” I teasingly asked him, but since Aries was facing the board, I wasn’t able to see his reaction.

“Hey, Aries,” I then call out, putting my elbow down on the table and resting my chin on the palm of my hand. “If I win the pageant, will you give me a kiss?”

As soon as I ask the question, Aries suddenly drops the eraser, surprising me more than it surprised him. I was about to stand from my seat to pick it up for him, but Aries immediately turned back to me and looked at me with an angry expression.

I got ready to apologize because it wasn’t really my intention to piss him off, but as soon as I saw his expression, a smirk slowly appeared on my face.

Aries’s cheeks were completely red.

“If you start acting like that, I’m gonna start liking you more,” I tell him, and Aries immediately clears his throat and picks the eraser from the ground before turning away from me.

“There you go again. It’s so easy for you to say the word ’ like ’. Such a word shouldn’t be thrown out like that so easily. It’s not a funny joke,” Aries says as he continues erasing the board.

I take a deep breath and lift myself off the seat before walking towards him. Without giving any warning, I stood behind him and pressed my hand against the board to lock him in place, instantly making him stop.

“ Who said I was even joking? “ I whisper in his ear.

The silence of the room made it possible for me to hear Aries’s heart beating loudly. I lean closer to him, and then Aries turns his face so he can look at me. The two of us stare at each other for a while, but before I can even press my lips against him, Aries suddenly elbows my stomach, immediately making me move away from him.

“If you think that’s gonna fucking work on me, then you better try harder,” Aries says as he finally finishes erasing the rest of the writings on the board,

“Y-You know…I’ve always wanted to t-tell you…but you have a terrible temper,” I manage to say while holding onto my aching stomach.

“And you have a terrible way of staring at people,” he fires back.

“I thought you liked it when I stared at you,” I then say, and Aries’s face turns red again.

“See! Right there!” I shout while pointing at his face, and Aries just ignores me until I finally drop the topic.

It’s seriously gonna take forever before he can admit that he’s starting to catch feelings too. Like, come on, I wasn’t born yesterday. You don’t act that way around people you don’t like. Or am I just seriously delusional now?

Either way, I’m not gonna give up. There will definitely come a time when Aries will tell me he likes me. I’ll just have to wait a little longer.

“It’s already getting late, so you better go home,” Aries says as I walk back to my seat to get my backpack.

“It’s fine. I’m not in a hurry. No one’s really home to greet me anyway,” I casually answered, which was something that didn’t have any hidden meaning, but Aries ended up looking at me with a sad expression, making me look away from him this time.

“How’s your mom?” He asks.

I take a deep breath and wear my bag before telling him, “She woke up yesterday, but she’s still weak. The doctors said it would take a while for her to fully recover.”

“And you…how are you?” He then asks, and these little things are the main reasons why I get to like him so easily. Without him knowing or even trying, he makes my heart feel so warm and alive.

“I’m doing okay,” I say with a small smile. “Besides, if I start getting depressed now, my mom would be very upset with me.”

“Dom—”

“You should go now too. Same schedule tomorrow, right?” I immediately ask instead because I don’t want to start crying in front of Aries again and make the situation awkward between us.

“I’m not in a hurry either,” Aries suddenly tells me as I walk my way to the door.

I stopped myself and turned around to face him, but before I could even get a word out, Aries walked past me and said, “Let me drive you. I’m the one who told you to stay in school till this hour anyway, so it’s my responsibility to get you home safely.”

“Are you serious?” I ask as I chase after him out of the room. “You know, if you keep driving me everywhere, you might as well just give me your car,” I jokingly say, but Aries doesn’t even give me the satisfaction of a chuckle, so I just quietly followed him at the parking until we eventually got to his car.

“This might be a random question, but do you ever mention to Art that you hang out with me from time to time?” I ask before looking at Aries, who’s already driving me home.

“Art?” He asks back with furrowed brows.

“You know, your brother, Arthur, who so happens to be a close friend of mine too,” I clarified to him.

“We’re college partners, so it’s normal for us to hang out sometimes. Besides, I don’t have to tell everything to my brother. We’re not close enough for that,” Aries reveals, which came as such a shock because it never occurred to me that Arthur and Aries wouldn’t be close.

I’m an only child, so I always assumed that siblings automatically have this bond together. It’s strange for me to think that some of them don’t actually get along.

“So does that mean that Art doesn’t know that—”

“No one in my family knows I’m gay,” Aries finishes for me, and for some reason, I feel a little guilty about Art. I got to know more about his brother than him, but at the same time, I understand why Aries would find it more difficult to reveal it to his family.

I know because when I told my mother I was gay, my heart was beating so close to my ear. I thought I was going to vomit, faint, and just piss my pants all at the same time. Of course, her reaction was way better than I expected, but the process was still terrifying. I can only imagine what Aries is going through now.

“Well, you’re not required to tell them, or anyone, for that matter. You’re not obligated to explain yourself to anyone if it doesn’t really affect anything,” I explained to him, which made Aries chuckle.

“You’re actually the first person to ever tell me that,” he says. “Most of my other friends would tell me to get it over with and just tell my family so I could feel better, but coming out isn’t always the best solution. Especially when it comes to my father,” Aries explains.

I wanted to ask more about his father, but I can only assume that it’s a difficult area to tackle, so I didn’t open up about it anymore.

“By the way, since you’re already driving me home, want to eat dinner at my house? I’ll treat you this time since you paid for our last meal the other day,” I then tell him, pulling my wallet out of my bag so Aries wouldn’t have the chance to decline my generous offer.

“Sure,” he answers without a fight.

When we arrived at our street, I asked Aries to stop at a nearby karinderya, which is a food stall with a small sitting area, usually alongside the road. Aries puts the window down as I stick my body out.

“Auntie, two orders of rice and a single order of Bicol Express, please,” I tell the woman who was brushing off the light flies that were flying around the dishes that are displayed on a long table.

“You’re in luck. It’s the last one,” she says as she puts the food in a plastic bag.

“Hey, Dom! Didn’t know you’re a big shot now!” One of my neighbors suddenly said as he stared at the car that I was in. He then looked over the driver’s seat and suddenly asked next, “That’s your boyfriend?”

The question made me laugh, while Aries just looked away and pretended like he didn’t hear anything.

“No, just a boy…friend,” I answered, and the other guys who were eating at the karinderya started teasing me.

“Here you go, Dom,” the kind auntie says as she hands me the order. I then handed her my payment, and while she was counting the change, she told me, “Give your mama my best regards, okay? And I gave you free soup in there. Don’t forget to eat properly.”

“Thank you, Auntie.”

I finally moved away from the window as Aries drove off. While I put the change inside my wallet, Aries glances at me and says, “The community you have here is surprisingly good. In my neighborhood, you barely see people outside. I don’t even know who lives beside our house.”

“Well, you probably live in a posh subdivision where there are guards at the main gate,” I jokingly say, and Aries’s silence made me clear my throat and looked away from him awkwardly.

The two of us eventually arrived at my house. Like last time, Aries acted all polite even though my mother wasn’t there. But unlike before, Aries wasn’t quietly sitting in our living room anymore. He actually helped me set the table, which was surprisingly odd for me to see.

The two of us ate dinner like normal friends, not like I know what normal friends really do. If I were to compare, apart from us having a somewhat physical relationship, Aries knows more about my life than my actual friends do, which is bizarre.

I like hanging out with Vicki and the others, but with Aries, it’s just different. It feels warm, and it makes my heart beat twice as fast. Sometimes I feel like could just listen to him all day. Sometimes, having him there or simply catching a glimpse of him is already enough to make my day. In extreme cases, my interaction with him causes my entire mood to shift.

Does liking someone really affects you this much?

“We’ll start the event tomorrow, so please, don’t be late and make the other council wait for you,” Aries says while washing the dishes.

“Don’t worry. I’ll even set an alarm,” I reply, and after wiping the table, I walk my way to Aries and look at him while he did a lousy job with the task he wanted to take himself. He added too much soap to the sponge, so the suds were just everywhere. I didn’t know it was possible, but I guess others are just terrible at doing chores.

“Maybe I should have just washed the dishes,” I tell him, and Aries rolls his eyes in annoyance.

As I lean my back against the counter, I look back at Aries and just watch him do his work. He wasn’t wearing his coat anymore, and he even had his sleeves rolled up, which made him look even more attractive.

“You know, we kinda look like a newly wedded couple,” I blurted out, letting my impulsive thoughts win. The moment I said that, Aries accidentally put the spoon directly under the running water, making the water splash toward him, instantly getting his shirt wet.

“Shit…” he curses, looking at me with an even angrier expression.

I stared at him in shock, but then I started laughing at him, making Aries cross his arms like a kid.

“Alright, let me get you something to change in,” I say, running to my room and getting a shirt that’s a bit smaller for me so Aries would fit in it. When I got back to the kitchen, Aries was already wiping himself with his handkerchief.

“Let me help you,” I tell him, putting the shirt on the table and grabbing his handkerchief from his hand so I can wipe it for him. Aries surprisingly doesn’t complain as I start touching him. After that, I placed the handkerchief down and started unbuttoning his shirt. Aries remains quiet as I slowly remove the buttons one by one.

“I like it when you’re clumsy. It’s very different from your usual perfect self,” I say as I remove another button. When I finally got to the last one, I looked back at Aries, who was actually staring directly at me.

Our eyes lock into each other, and then, before I know it, I lean toward him to give him a kiss on his lips. But before I could even touch them, Aries moved away from me and whispered, “ Aren’t you tired of just staring, Dom? “

As soon as he asked me that question, I instantly grabbed Aries and lifted him to the counter so he could sit on it. Without any more hesitations, I started kissing his neck and chest while my hands held onto his waist.

The kitchen was quiet, so I got to hear the quiet moans he made, which turned me on even more.

While I continue to touch his soft skin with my lips, Aries reaches out to me and pulls me by my belt. “You’re not gonna bring me to your bedroom, at least?” He then asks, and I practically lose all reason as I immediately carry him off the counter so I can bring us to my small bedroom.

I gently placed Aries down on my old bed, which instantly made a squeaking sound, making this fucker giggle. And that smile of his, that darn smile, made me turn into this beast that got so hungry for him.

“And here I was trying to make a wholesome memory with you,” I say as I start unbuckling my belt while Aries lies underneath me.

As soon as I unbuckled my belt and pulled my pants down, I took my cock out and reached out for the lube that was suspiciously beside my bed. I smothered the lube on my erect member, and then, out of nowhere, Aries reached out and started stroking me.

“ Fuck, “ I whisper under my breath as I let Aries touch me with his soft and slender fingers.

While he was holding me, I unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down, exposing his lower body too. I looked down and practically sighed in relief when I saw that he was hard like I was.

I reach out for my wallet next so I can grab the condom I have in it. Once Aries pulled his hand away, I put the condom on and got ready to prepare him. I’m still trying to keep myself calm because this is the first time we’re gonna have sex where we’re completely sober. But while I was fighting with my rationality, Aries pulled me towards him and suddenly positioned my dick in his entrance.

“Come on, just put it in already.”

My tip touches his soft hole, and so, with my reason now flushed in the toilet, I grabbed his legs and opened them wider before finally pushing myself inside him, instantly making Aries let out a loud moan.

“ S-shit…you gotta keep quiet for a second, or t-the neighbors might hear, “ I whisper to him since the houses here are too close to each other.

Aries looked annoyed, but he covered his mouth with his arm anyway.

“ I don’t remember this feeling this good, “ I then say as I slowly push myself deeper.

Aries grabs the bed sheets and starts clenching them as I slowly thrust inside him. I let him adjust for a while because I could tell he was feeling a little distressed, but after a couple more seconds, his hips began to move on their own, and eventually, my pace got faster.

“ F-fuck…fuck…you feel so good. “

I look down at Aries’s face, his cheeks red like the time I was teasing him back in the classroom. I couldn’t look away from him, and the more I stared at him, the tighter he got. Why is this man so beautiful? Why is he so desirable? Every little thing he does just leaves me completely breathless.

“ Dom, slow down for a second, “ he then says, so I slowed down and ended up pulling my dick out before pushing it back in at a much slower pace. Aries continued to bite his lip down, but his moans still escaped out of his mouth, which turned me on even more.

I really wanted to last longer than before, but it felt way too good, and things have been so crazy that I haven’t relieved myself in a while. So with one last thrust, my entire body shivered, and I ended up cumming way too early than expected.

The quiet room was filled with our heavy breathing. And when I looked down at Aries, I realized that I actually fucked up.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” I say, slowly pulling myself out to remove the condom.

Aries was panting heavily, but then he looked up at me and started laughing. “That was barely five minutes. You definitely have to practice more,” Aries teases as he pushes me away so he can sit up.

“Want me to jerk you off?” I offer, and Aries suddenly grabs a pillow and hits me with it, making me pout.

“I said I was sorry,” I say, and Aries just rolls his eyes before asking me, “You have a cigarette with you?”

“Y-Yeah, I do,” I reply, reaching out for the cigarette and lighter in my drawer before handing the stick over to him. Aries put the cigarette stick inside his mouth, and then I lighted it for him. As he lay back on his stomach to smoke, I grabbed a stick for myself too and lighted it up as well.

“If this is the route that our relationship is going, I really don’t mind,” I tell him, inhaling the smoke and letting it escape my mouth.

Aries didn’t say anything and just continued smoking. As the two of us became quiet, I ended up staring at his ass, imagining that I was literally just inside it a few seconds ago. I wanted to have every inch of him, and imagining others merely touching him made me feel annoyed.

“Hey, Buan…don’t have sex with anyone else anymore,” I say, and Aries’s silence made me feel angry a little.

I pull the cigarette out of my mouth and lean towards him to give him a kiss, but before our lips can touch, Aries looks away from me again, making me sigh in frustration.

“You let me fuck you, but you won’t let me kiss you,” I say, putting the cigarette back inside my mouth so I wouldn’t feel too stressed out about it.

Aries remains silent for a while. But as soon as he finishes the cigarette, he suddenly tells me, “If you win the pageant…”

“What?” I ask, looking back at him with furrowed brows.

Aries sighs and turns his head to me again before saying, “Earlier, you asked me if I could kiss you if you win. So if you win the pageant…I’ll let you kiss me. Hopefully, by that time, you would last longer than five minutes.”

end.

(27) The…Study

“THAT WOULD BE 150  for the tote bags, but if you buy it with the pencil case, we’ll give you a 20 peso discount,” I say with a bright smile on my face as students from all institutes gather in front of the stall we made for the student council’s fundraising event where we sell merchandises made by the inmates from the Correction Institute for Women.

“If you allow us to take a picture with you, we won’t need the discount,” one of the girls bargains, so I happily agree and pose for the camera with them.

The event took 2 hours to finish, and we were able to sell everything before 5:00 PM, which was earlier than we expected. Because of that, we eventually had to wrap things up and call it a day.

Aries only made me join them because he wanted me to get exposed for the pageant, but surprisingly enough, this was a very fulfilling experience. I might join in on their future projects in the future.

“Hey, Dom,” someone suddenly calls out while I’m folding the table we used earlier. I turn around and see that it’s actually Jesse, the student council’s secretary and, if I remember, one of Aries’s close friends. “Thanks for your help today. Not a lot is volunteering for these types of events since they’re all busy for Foundation Week, so I’m glad you gave us an extra hand,” she says with a smile.

“I’d say you’re welcome, but Aries is the one who told me to help out,” I reveal to her since I feel like it would be too hypocritical of me to accept the praise even though I did this for an entirely different reason.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. You still did the task with gusto, so it’s fine,” Jesse assures me. “But you know, I’m surprised that the pres is helping you like this. He wasn’t this eager to help the last pageant contestant in our institute.”

“That’s probably because he’s my senior partner,” I say, and Jesse just shrugs her shoulder before patting my back.

“Probably,” she says back before finally joining the other council members.

I finished folding the table and got ready to carry it to the storage room. But as I picked the table up, Aries approached me and suddenly handed me a bottle of water. “Here,” he says, and a smile instantly appears on my face.

“Thanks.”

I gently put the folded table down and grabbed the bottle from his hand before drinking from it. “How much did we earn in today’s sales?” I then ask him.

“I haven’t checked yet. My treasurer is still computing everything,” he answers.

“Well, I hope we earned enough. I had to take pictures with a bunch of students all day. I felt like some kind of celebrity,” I jokingly say, and Aries suddenly chuckles, almost making me drop the water because of how beautiful he looked at that exact moment.

“Anyway, you’re heading to the storage room, right? Let me come with you. There are a few boxes I have to carry there too,” Aries says, and before I can even say anything, he runs off the grab whatever it is he’s supposed to grab.

I finished the water my kind senior partner gave me and threw it in the trash before grabbing the folded table again.

“Guys, thanks for today. Dom and I will head out first. Send me the report later,” Aries tells the other council members before heading to where I was. Right after, we walked our way to the storage room in complete silence.

The two of us didn’t really say anything to each other, but it wasn’t because we were awkward like last time. Actually, last night’s… let’s just say, activity…got us a little closer emotionally, I would say. Aries might not see it that way though, but it’s definitely the case for me. I think I’m starting to understand what he really is now too.

“By the way, today’s Friday, so it means you have to go to work later tonight, right?” He suddenly asks while the two of us continue walking down the hallway.

“Yeah. Friday is usually the busiest day, so I have to head there early to help clean the place. You don’t have to drive me this time,” I tell him.

“It’s fine. I actually drive past the bar when I head home.”

“Really? Then I’ll thank you in advance. Want to grab something to eat? My treat.”

“That’s not necessary. You should save your money as much as you can for your mom. You can treat me next time,” he says, and I nod my head in understanding.

The two of us arrive at the storage room to drop off the items we’re carrying. I place the folded table down and lean it against the wall. Aries, on the other hand, opens a cabinet so he can hide the box inside. While he was arranging it, I suddenly remembered something that made me chuckle.

“You know, this is the perfect situation where we’ll get locked in, and then we end up spending the night here because everyone has already left. And then, while we lay on the floor, the two of us look into each other’s eyes and—” Before I could even finish my sentence, Aries suddenly slammed the cabinet shut before turning around to look at me.

“You seriously are an English major student. You might as well write a book about it,” he says, making me laugh this time.

“What? Don’t you think it’s kinda hot?” I ask him, making Aries stop moving. “We’re in a small and dark room…alone. Maybe I can last longer this time. You said it yourself, I’ll need to practice. Maybe I can practice…with you,” I teasingly say, moving close to Aries so I can lean my face toward him.

Aries doesn’t move from where he’s standing as the two of us stare into each other’s eyes. But as my lips were about to touch his, I immediately stopped myself and looked down at his lips with a smirk. “But I have to win the pageant first, right? Don’t want to break our promise.”

As soon as I said all that, Aries’s face instantly turned red. Without anything to say, he suddenly hits my shoulder and storms out of the room, making me chuckle because of the way he reacted.

Yup, I’m definitely starting to understand him.

Slowly but surely, Aries, I’m definitely going to unlock your code.

“If you don’t stop messing around, I’m gonna leave you,” I overhear Aries say outside the room. So like a loyal dog, I hurriedly ran out of the unlocked storage room and left the school with my handsome, sometimes cute, and very cranky driver, Aries Buan.

“When did you become an employee in the Red Light?” Aries suddenly asked as he drove me to the said bar.

“That was a month ago. Gelo, the guy you met at the hospital, he’s the one who helped me get that job. I was originally a cleaner, but I guess you can say I got promoted to a role that pays more. That’s about it,” I explain, looking at Aries who’s staring at the road in front of us.

I thought he’d ask more about the type of work I do, but Aries asks about a different thing instead.

“This Gelo guy you mentioned. You two high school friends or something?” He asks me, making me look at him with furrowed brows because I wasn’t expecting Aries to be interested in him.

“Well, Gelo was my high school classmate, but we’ve been friends since we were kids. He’s from the same neighborhood, so we’re childhood friends. His mom works as a domestic worker in Saudi, and his dad…well, that’s a more private story,” I tell him, and Aries nods his head before asking another question.

“So he lives alone?”

“No, he’s with his younger siblings. His eldest brother has a family now and lives in the province, so he is taking care of himself and his siblings. That’s why he’s very close to my mom. When her own mother was working as an OFW, mama basically raised him,” I explained further, and this time, Aries didn’t ask anything anymore.

I stare at him for a while, but then a smile starts creeping on my face as I ask, “Why the sudden interest? You jealous?”

I thought Aries would become flustered again, but instead, he rolls his eyes back and replies, “I just got curious. The way he was acting at the hospital…I would have guessed that he’s your mother’s son too. I can see how much he loves her.

“He does,” I say, looking out of the window with a smile, glad to hear someone important to me praise another person who I hold dear.

“By the way, if you want, the three of us can hang out together. Maybe you two can get to know each other more,” I suggest, and Aries chuckles and shakes his head.

“Your friend doesn’t seem to like me, so I’ll pass.” 

I got ready to tell him that that wasn’t the case at all, but we arrived at the bar before I could even open my mouth. Aries parks the car on the side, and then, out of nowhere, he leans towards me and suddenly removes my seatbelt for me. “I’ll see you next week,” he tells me instead, almost making me lean toward him to give him a kiss. If my will weren’t strong enough, I would have done exactly that.

“Is this your revenge for what I did in the storage room?” I ask him, and Aries leans even closer and whispers, “ I’d kiss you, but you don’t want to break the promise, right? “

I immediately head out of the car before I end up taking the bait. This time, Aries laughs at my reaction, but I let him laugh at me because at least I get to see him smile more often now when he’s alone with me compared to before.

“You must be enjoying yourself,” I say as I lean toward the car’s window. “You know, Buan, we should meet up during the weekend too, for the…study. Midterm exam study.”

“You want to meet up during the weekend…to study?” Aries repeats with his right eyebrow raised.

“You know what, forget it,” I say instead, turning away from him in embarrassment.

“Adlawan!” Aries then calls out. Even though I was acting like I was bumped out, I immediately turned back around with hopeful eyes, which could be the reason why Aries ended up laughing.

“I’ll think about it. The…study,” he tells me, and before I can even react, Aries turns away and immediately drive off.

A stupid smile instantly appears on my face, making me look like a teenager who just got kissed on the first date. But while I continued smiling, I turned around and suddenly screamed in shock when I saw Big Joe standing right behind me with a grin.

“Jesus, Big J! Have you been there all this time?” I ask, and Big Joe grins at me and starts teasingly nudging my side.

“Who was that? Don’t tell me that was a customer. If it was, you’re lucky to get caught up with a rich one. Jack would be really jealous,” Big Joe says, making me push his arm away.

“He’s not my customer,” I defend. But as I walked my way towards the door, I suddenly realized something important.

Aries isn’t my customer. He’s not my customer. But judging by the way Gin knows Aries and his group, they’ve obviously been to the bar a couple of times now. Which only means that Aries has a regular Table Employee.

“Gin!” I shout as I widely open the double doors like a gangster.

Everyone in the bar turned their heads to me in shock, but when they saw that it was me, they sighed and continued whatever they were doing.

“It’s just Dom,” one of the cleaners says as I run towards the bar where I found Gin wiping the shot glasses.

“Dom, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but why on earth are you being so loud this early?” Gin asks while I lean towards the bar to face him.

“Gin, I know this is gonna sound strange, but do you know a regular named Aries? He was here last time with his friends. Jack tabled them,” I say, and Gin takes a deep breath and finishes cleaning a shot glass first before looking back in my direction.

“If you’re talking about the college student Aries, then yes, I know him. He’s from the same school as you, right? Did you happen to know him personally? Did you stumble into each other on campus?”

“That’s not really important, but I just wanted to ask who he usually tables with here. Does he have a regular TE? Or does he only come here to drink?” I continue to ask. I don’t even know why I’m so fired up about this, but there’s something inside me that just needs to know.

“Aries comes with his friends, so they usually just get two or three employees for the entire group, but if I remember correctly, he usually asks for Iñigo,” Gin explains, making me furrow my brows because I don’t know an Iñigo in this bar.

“You haven’t seen him yet because he’s been in Japan for five months now working as an escort. But he’ll be back after his contract ends,” Gin explains further.

“You have a picture of him?”

“Wait, let me check my phone.”

Gin grabs his phone from his pocket and starts searching for a picture. But while he’s looking for that picture, someone from behind me suddenly grabs me by the arm and gives me a tight hug.

“Dom! How are you?! I heard from Gelo about what happened to your mother. If you need anything darling, anything at all, just let me know. We’re a family here, you know?”

“Madam Scarlet?!” I ask in shock as Madam Scarlet continues to hug me tightly. She was only wearing lingerie. She hasn’t finished her makeup either, and she only has her wig cap on. She must have rushed out from her dressing room when he heard me.

“Michael! For heaven’s sake, at least wear a robe,” Gin scolds.

“I can even walk out naked if I want to, so suck it,” Madam Scarlet then fires back, making the other employees chuckle. Soon after that short banter, madam Scarlet looks back at me and holds onto my shoulders this time. “You don’t have to force yourself to work here. I’ll still pay you, so just take care of your mother,” she says, her kindness almost making me speechless.

“No, it’s alright. I don’t want to get paid by doing nothing, so please just allow me to work here like normal,” I tell her, and madam Scarlet looks at me with pitiful eyes before grabbing me for a hug again.

“You really are such a strong boy, Dom. I like you so much that I might just give you this bar when I retire,” she then says.

“I’ve been working for you for years now. Why don’t I get the same energy?” Jack, the number one table employee in the bar, jokingly says as he approaches us.

Jack looks at me and smiles before patting my back like he is comforting me. “Scar here might have come to you too strong, but we’re serious. If you need anything, just let us know, okay?” Jack asks, and I look at him and then at madam Scarlet and Gin with a smile before nodding my head in understanding.

“Thank you, everyone. But really, I’m okay. And it might not look like it, but I’m actually striving to get a scholarship right now. I also joined the school pageant, which might help me get that scholarship too,” I explain, making them look at me like some kind of proud parents.

“That’s great, Dom! We can lend you some clothes and even help you with your hair and makeup,” madam Scarlet offered, making me remember the talent portion that was also part of the program.

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Is it possible for you guys to…teach me how to dance? For my talent portion. I’m not really the best dancer, but I think I can pull it off,” I say. And as soon as I said those words, everyone in the bar suddenly looked at me. Some of the stage employees who were practicing on stage stopped what they were doing to join the conversation.

“You’re going to dance?” One of the SEs asks with a wide smile on his face.

“This is perfect! What kind of dance do you want to do? We can teach you anything,” Flo—the leader and the choreographer of the stage employees, then joins in. “If you really want to captivate the audience, then why not pole dancing? That’s gonna stun even the judges.”

“You want him to get kicked out of his university?” Jack then asks, making Flo shrug his shoulders.

“What? Pole dancing is another form of dance. If they think it’s sexual and dirty, then it’s on them,” Flo defends. But even though I would love the idea of dancing on a pole and maybe even stripping my clothes, that wouldn’t really be possible.

“I have a female partner,” I tell them, and everyone starts talking amongst themselves.

“Do the cha-cha!”

“Walz is the way to go!”

Everyone was giving out idea after idea, but while they were all talking, I cleared my throat and said, “I was thinking of something like an interpretative dance.”

Flo and the others immediately stopped talking to look at me. I thought they would laugh at my suggestion, but then they looked even more excited, which made me feel excited too.

“Interpretative dance, you say? Then Dom, what kind of emotion did you have in mind?”

…

“Mama, how are you?” I ask as I walk towards mom, who just woke up after a nap.

“Dom, it’s good to see you again,” she says as she slowly reaches out for my hand to squeeze it. “Have you been eating well? Are you overworking yourself? How’s school?”

“Ma, relax. You should worry about yourself more. I’m doing great, so you have to take care of yourself first,” I tell her, grabbing the chair so I can sit in front of her bed.

“You know what, Domingo, I’m feeling a lot better now. I think I don’t have to be confined in this private hospital anymore. This is all just unnecessary and—” Before mama could even finish her sentence, I squeezed her hand tight to reassure her that everything was going to be okay.

“Ma, don’t think about that. Don’t worry about the bill or the medicine. Just rest, and I’ll handle everything else, okay?” I tell her, bringing her hand close to my lips so I can gently kiss her. “Okay?” I ask her again, and a tear suddenly falls from her eyes.

“Dom, I’m really sorry. I’m the worst mother ever. I couldn’t give you a better life, and now you’re here taking care of me when I should have been doing that for you,” mama suddenly tells me. I almost cried with her, but I kept myself together because I didn’t want her to worry and make her condition worse. I have to be strong so she can be strong too.

“If you say sorry one more time, I’m not gonna visit you for an entire week,” I tease, and mama finally calms down. I reached towards her cheeks to wipe the tears away, and then I gave her hand another kiss before letting go of it.

“By the way, when you were sleeping earlier, I bought you a couple of snacks. I asked the doctor what you could eat, and they told me you could have this,” I then tell her as I walk towards the table to remove the snack I bought from the plastic bag.

While I was arranging them on the table, mama stared at me and suddenly asked, “Dom, you’re still in school, right?”

The question surprised me, so I wasn’t able to give an immediate answer.

“I still have money saved up, so you can use that for my medical bills. I don’t want you to tire yourself out to the point where you have to neglect your studies. Let your mother pay for her own,” mama suddenly insists.

I turned back around and stared at her with a sad smile on my face. If I decided to quit college, this conversation would have been very different. But because of Aries, I could still look at my mother straight in her eyes without any guilt.

“Ma, I’m still in school, so there’s nothing for you to worry about,” I say with a smile, and a tear suddenly falls from my mother’s eyes again.

“Oh, thank god,” she says, closing her eyes and touching her chest. “You have to finish your studies no matter what. Do you understand me, Domingo Adlawan?”

“Yes, mama. I understand,” I seriously tell her, and this time, I’m not telling her because it’s what she wants to hear but because this is what I want to do.

“Now, do you want to eat some snacks first?” I then ask her, but my mom adjusts herself in bed and says, “It’s alright. I’d rather rest for now. And you don’t have to worry about me too much. The nurses have been very kind, and the food has been good.”

“Is that so?” I ask, and mom smiles and nods.

“Then I’ll head out so you can rest properly. If you need anything, just let me know,” I say as I walk back to her bed to give her a soft kiss on her forehead.

Mama closes her eyes and goes back to sleep. So I quietly exited the room and got ready to go home since I just got back from my shift at the Red Light Bar. I hadn’t slept at all, so my body felt like it was gonna give up on me.

But as I walked out of the hospital, my phone suddenly vibrated. I pull my phone out of my pocket and read the message. As soon as I saw what it was, every fiber of my being just sparked back up like a computer that got rebooted.

Let’s do it. The…study.

Where do you want to go?

• Aries

end.

(28) Restless Fate

I WAS WAITING AT a convenience store, drinking

the energy drink that I had bought because of how heavy my eyes were. I was tired from work, and I had an intense hangover. Honestly, the right thing to do is decline Aries’s invitation and tell him that I haven’t slept yet, but the hopeless romantic in me wants to suck it up and just hope for the best.

Aries isn’t the type to invite people, specifically me, out on a weekend. Apart from the time when we met at the bar by chance, this is going to be the first time where I’ll be seeing him outside like this.

“ Maybe I should just take a quick nap before he arrives, “ I whispered to myself as I slowly rested my head on the table. But just as I was about to close my eyes, a car suddenly honked outside the store. My head lifted so fast I thought I’d fall off the floor. When I looked out at the glass window, I saw Aries’s car waiting outside. I immediately got off the chair and grabbed my backpack before running out of the convenience store like I was chasing someone.

“Aries!” I excitedly called out, knocking on the window until Aries pulled it down.

“You’re acting like a weird fan who saw an idol,” he said as he removed his shades and used them as a headband. “Get in.”

I smiled and got inside the car, automatically sitting on the passenger’s seat, which had become such a familiar place to me. The familiarity of having Aries sit beside me as he stared at the road in concentration has slowly become a common routine in my life. I don’t think I’ll ever let these small moments go.

“Where do you want to head to?” He asked as I put the seatbelt on.

“Anywhere.”

“Anywhere is a terrible answer.”

“How about the café near Manila Cathedral? I saw one of my classmates go there and she took amazing photos. I think that would be a great place to…you know…study,” I told him as a reminder to myself that this wasn’t a date and we were only together because I asked him if he wanted to go with me.

“See, you do have a place in mind,” he said, a small smile present on his face when he said it. “I know what you’re talking about. It’s La Cathedral Cafe.”

“You’ve been there?” I asked, and Aries shook his head to answer.

“I haven’t, but my friend Jesse has been begging me to go there with her, but I just haven’t got the time,” he explained to me, which somehow made me look away from him to hide the stupid smile on my face so he wouldn’t know that I’m glad that I’m the first person he’s going to take there.

“Thankfully, it’s the weekend, so it wouldn’t be too traffic,” he then said, adjusting the rearview mirror so we could drive off.

I looked out the window and stared at the people walking past us as Aries quietly drove like how he usually does. But as I was staring, the energy drink I had earlier betrayed me because my eyes started to get heavy, and before I knew it, I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.

I don’t even remember what happened next because the next thing I knew was that someone was shaking my body. I opened my eyes and saw that we were already at our destination, and Aries was waking me up.

“Are we here?” I asked after releasing a yawn.

“Are you okay? Did you just come back from work?” Aries suddenly asked back, making me laugh so he wouldn’t know that I was going to lie to him.

“I got out of work hours ago and was able to sleep at home before you texted. I guess I’m just a little hangover since I ended up drinking a lot last night,” I said, not telling him that I actually came from the hospital and I hadn’t gone home at all. I haven’t even showered yet.

“Alright, if you say so.”

Aries didn’t ask any more questions as he stepped out of the car. I removed the seatbelt and followed behind him. It was already around 10 AM, so the temperature was perfect. It wasn’t too hot, and the wind was there to cool us off. It was definitely the perfect date…of course, if this were a date, to begin with.

The place was a tourist attraction, so there were a lot of foreigners around. I think some of the sellers there thought that Aries was a tourist too because they wouldn’t stop following us and asking us to buy some of their overpriced keychains.

The two of us walked to the location, but we had to pass by the cathedral first. Aries looked at me, and he didn’t even have to say anything for me to know what he wanted to say.

“Want to go inside first?” I asked him first, and Aries nodded his head.

I’m not really the religious type, but Mama and I used to go to church every Sunday. She usually forced me to come with her, but I think she stopped doing that when a priest talked about gays in his homily and told everyone how it was the work of the devil. I’m guessing that that’s the reason why my mother stopped asking me to come with her.

Aries and I got inside the Cathedral without saying a word. It was my first time coming here, so when I saw the interior, I couldn’t help but widen my mouth in shock. It was so breathtaking that I even had to pull my phone out to take a picture.

“ Can you wait here for a second? “ Aries whispered to me.

“ Yeah, of course. “

Aries went to the middle of the aisle and did the sign of the cross before going down to the kneeling bench to pray. It’s strange to say that I felt strange seeing him praying. Or maybe the word ‘strange’ isn’t the right word for it. My vocabulary wasn’t big enough to describe the feelings I had as I stared at him kneeling in front of the cross.

People like us are misunderstood here, and most of us leave our religion because of this. But Aries was different. As I stared at him, he had this aura of love and respect for the image in front of the altar. He stared at it with no malice or hate, just pure faith. 

I couldn’t help but be jealous of that. How could you easily love someone who others believe hates you? Is God even capable of hate? Why have these things never concerned me once?

“ Maybe I should pray too, “ I whispered, walking towards Aries, who was deep in his thoughts. He didn’t notice as I kneeled beside him. I looked up at the altar, did the sign of the cross, and then looked at the image of the man on the altar.

I didn’t exactly know what to say at first, but somehow, the words just started flowing out of me the moment I clasped my hands together.

“ Why did you give me this life? “ I finally asked. “ Was I not worthy enough to live a good one? “ I asked next, and for some reason, a tear fell from my eyes the moment the words were spoken.

“ I don’t know if you hear me, and I don’t know if you’re listening…but my mother…please just make sure she recovers. I don’t care about the life you give me, but please, give her a better one, “ I prayed, clasping my hands together tightly before putting my head down, my eyes shut like I was waiting for a response.

Everything was silent for a while, but as I lifted my head back up, a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned to Aries, and then I was surprised to see that he was giving me his handkerchief. I stared at it for a while before grabbing it so I could wipe the tears off my face. Soon after, the two of us got up and walked out of the cathedral.

“Well, that was…a good experience,” I said with an awkward chuckle, but Aries didn’t laugh one bit.

“My family is religious,” he suddenly explained while we walked our way to the cafe. “We go to church together and pray like it’s a part of us. To be honest, I had a time when I just wanted to leave the faith, but it has saved me more than it has disappointed me. I could not leave.”

“Aren’t you afraid?” I asked him, and Aries looked up at the sky and gave out a smile of hope.

“I am afraid because I believe,” he explained, but I shook my head and rephrased my question, “Not at Him. I meant…your family. Are you more afraid of them than you are of your religion?”

The question must have surprised Aries because the smile he had on him instantly changed into a sad expression.

“Yes,” he answered. “My fear of them is different. With God, there is a high chance he will understand. But them…I believe that they won’t.”

I wanted to comfort Aries about what he said, but no amount of words would be able to do such a difficult task. I guess the problem with his family runs deeper than I thought.

“Can I ask about Diane?” I asked since I didn’t want to talk about her all of a sudden and make him feel uncomfortable.

“What about her?” He asked back, granting me permission.

“I heard from Arthur that you introduced her to your family. How did you feel when you saw their reactions?”

Aries paused for a while and looked at a distance, probably remembering the faces his parents made when they saw Diane in their house, standing beside their oh-so-perfect son.

“They looked like I hit the jackpot,” Aries finally answered with a chuckle, but I could tell that there was sadness in that statement.

“Mom instantly prepared for dinner like I invited the president over, and my father patted me on the back and gave me this proud smile that made me sick to my stomach. Even my brothers liked her, and at that moment, I thought that maybe I could endure this long enough. I’ll just suck it up till the end and hide my sexuality to the grave,” Aries explained, surprising me because I wasn’t expecting him to share all those thoughts with me.

“But you still broke up with her.”

“I still broke up with her,” he repeated with a heavy sigh. “I felt bad. I told you that I liked her, right? But it was a like that she didn’t deserve. I liked the idea of her and the future she would give me, but it wasn’t enough. I was using her, and I didn’t want that,” he told me.

“But it looks like her like  was very different from yours,” I then told him, and Aries just remained silent as if he was denying that fact despite knowing it full well.

I didn’t ask any more questions after that.

“Looks like we’re here.”

The two of us eventually got to the cafe that I wanted to go to. The entrance was decorated with all the greenery, and walking up the steps tired me out more than I thought it would. But when we finally got there, the long walk was worth it as the cafe looked amazing, and the ambiance was what I expected a cafe would be.

“This is my first time in a cafe like this. Drinks are hella expensive, so I never found the appeal. But I guess you go here for the experience.”

“Don’t worry. You’re not missing much,” Aries replied, making me chuckle.

There weren’t a lot of people yet, so we got our orders settled pretty quickly. Aries ordered a salted caramel Frappuccino and two slices of cake for the both of us. I wanted to order the darkest coffee they had, but Aries told me to order some kind of tea instead, so I didn’t complain and just agreed.

“The tea will help with your hangover,” he explained.

“Well, I guess that’s fine. So, what should we study first?” I then asked him, but Aries shook his head and told me, “After we eat, I’m driving you home.”

“W-What?”

“You haven’t slept yet, haven’t you?” Aries suddenly asked, immediately making me look away from him so he wouldn’t notice that I was trying to avoid his gaze.

Aries sighed and massaged his temple. I couldn’t tell if he was annoyed or if he was just worried. “I thought you didn’t work late at night since you suggested hanging out, but I guess I should have already been more sensitive.”

“N-No, it’s fine, really,” I told him, but Aries looked at me seriously, instantly making me roll my tongue back. He was definitely annoyed. I guess he just agreed to go here because I suggested it, and he didn’t want to say no since we already met up like this.

“Dom, what happened to your mother?” He suddenly asked me next. “After overworking herself, her health declined. You didn’t have to lie. If you’re tired, you should have just told me.”

“Sorry,” I said, and Aries sighed and looked away from me with his arms crossed. The atmosphere between us became awkward for a second, and I didn’t know what to say anymore either because I felt like I was scolded by a parent. But as the two of us started to grow quiet, Aries released another heavy breath and told me, “Next time. We’ll hang out properly next time.”

I was surprised for a couple of seconds, but then the look on my face turned into a stupid grin, making Aries roll his eyes in annoyance.

“Alright, let’s have a taste of the food here and head back.”

“Okay.”

The two of us enjoyed our ‘date’—let me just be delusional, at least for now—and eventually left as Aries promised. When we got to his car, Aries told me to rest, so I dozed off again and woke up an hour later in front of our house.

“Dom, we’re here,” Aries said after waking me up. He leaned towards me and removed the seatbelt for me before heading out of the car. He opened the door, grabbed my bag, and helped me out. Thanks to the food we ate earlier, I ended up feeling a lot sleepier, so Aries guided me to the door and started looking for the keys inside my bag.

“It’s under the flower pot…the keys,” I told him.

“You leave your keys here?”

“We’re a close neighborhood. And besides, a thief would pity us instead if he tries to rob this house,” I managed to joke, but Aries didn’t laugh. He grabbed the key under the flower pot instead and opened the door. I went inside first, and Aries followed behind me after removing his shoes, which was something that he didn’t have to do anymore, but he did.

I walked my way to my bedroom and practically threw myself in my  comfy  old bed. I was assuming that Aries would just leave and head back, but he went inside the room and suddenly helped me up. He didn’t say anything as he started stripping me. I was too tired even to react or say anything, so I just let Aries change my clothes until he finally laid me back in bed.

I stared at Aries, my vision hazy. He just sat beside me and looked down at me with his expression blank. I reached out for his fingers and gently held onto them. Aries didn’t pull away, so I smiled and whispered something that even I barely understood.

Aries continued to look at me, but then he nodded his head and didn’t let go. And before I knew it, I fell asleep again, the warmth of the person I like giving me the best sleep I’ve ever had in days.

…

I don’t know how long I was out, but I woke up from an alarm that I set on my phone. I tried to ignore it for a while, but I got annoyed eventually and got up to turn it off. It was already 4:00 PM, so it was time for me to get ready to work again.

“Damn, Aries was right. That tea seriously helped with the hangover,” I say, feeling a lot better than earlier.

I got up and removed my shirt, leaving only my boxers on so that I could shower. But as soon as I got out of the room, I suddenly saw Aries in the kitchen. “Aries!” I shouted in shock, almost like I saw a ghost.

Aries was surprised too, so he flinched before looking back at me. The two of us stared at each other, but then I realized that Aries was wearing an apron and he was holding a spatula. After a couple of seconds, it finally dawned on me that he was actually…cooking.

“W-What are you doing? Why are you still here?” I asked, and Aries just sighed and looked back at whatever he was cooking.

“You’re the one who told me to stay, so I did. You weren’t able to eat lunch too, so I decided to cook something. I bought the ingredients at the wet market a few blocks from here. Didn’t know the ingredients were cheaper there,” Aries casually explained, like this wasn’t a big deal at all.

“Are you saying you’re cooking…for me?” I asked, and as soon as I asked that, Aries’s ears started turning red again, instantly making my heart beat faster.

“ You’re seriously driving me crazy. “

I walked towards him, and then I gently grabbed his waist before kissing his neck. Aries surprisingly didn’t push me away, so I pulled him closer to me and continued kissing him before whispering in his ear, “ Thank you. “

Aries still didn’t say a word, but the way his cheeks and ears turned red was enough to put a smile on my face. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to hold him and tell him how happy he made me feel, but I suppressed these emotions and eventually let go of him.

“What did you cook?” I asked instead as I started setting the table for us.

“ Adobo. I watched one of our maids make it, and it looked easy, so I tried searching for the full recipe online. I’m not really a good cook though, so I hope you don’t mind,“ Aries said, making me feel even happier but nervous at the same time. Aries already had a hard time washing dishes, so having him cook is a little concerning. 

“That sounds amazing,” I said to encourage him.

I looked at the rice cooker to check how it went, and thankfully Aries knew how to do it, so I started to have hope that the dish he was cooking would taste great. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I don’t know what’s gotten into him, but I’m not gonna let this moment pass.

“Looks like it’s done,” he said as he transferred the dish to a clean plate. I also transferred the rice to another plate before excitedly sitting down on the table.

“I’m gonna warn you again. This could be bad,” he said as he placed the dish in front of me before sitting down.

I looked at the dish and smiled. “It smells great,” I told him as I put some of it on my plate. 

Aries stared at me, probably waiting for my reaction. I teased him a little and took my precious time, but when I saw the annoyed look on his face, I finally took a bite. The flavor exploded in my pallet the moment I put it in my mouth. It ended up tasting so sweet that I thought I was eating dessert. He must have added too much sugar.

“I knew it. It’s bad,” he said with a disappointed look, suddenly grabbing the dish so he could throw it out.

“What are you talking about? It tastes amazing!” I immediately told him.

“You’re obviously lying,” he said, his reactions making me smile so much because I wasn’t expecting to see him act like this at all. How can he be so cute?

“What?! Of course not, see!” 

I grabbed another bite and then another. The taste was still off, but for some reason, it was still the best dish I ever tasted in my life. I’m not even being dramatic when I say that I might end up crying.

“You’re seriously an idiot,” I heard Aries say. And when I looked up at him, I realized that he had this smile on his face that looked so beautifully enchanting. And as I stared at him, I once again saw the universe in him. He was a wonder I wanted to explore. He was the bright stars that illuminated the night and the moon that kept pulling me. 

Aries was someone I no longer liked. Like wasn’t even enough to describe it anymore.

I loved this man.

And I’m afraid that if I tell him, that enchanting smile will eventually go away. And the fear he had inside him would lock more doors than I could barely be able to open.

end.

(29) Jealous Lenses

THERE WERE DOZENS of students when I entered classroom 203 at the Arts building. Aries messaged me earlier and told me that I had to go here to meet my partner and have our photoshoot. I was honestly pretty excited before I arrived, but seeing these insanely handsome and beautiful contestants, I couldn’t help but feel a little anxious.

There was a section in the room where people were getting their hair and makeup done. Some were practicing their poses on the side. And the photoshoot was happening near the whiteboard where a makeshift white cloth background was built.

“Domingo Adlawan?” A voice suddenly called out.

I turned around and saw a senior student walking towards me, holding a checklist. “You arrived in time. I’ll let Gemma fix your hair and makeup. You’ll have your photo shoot in an hour.”

The senior didn’t even let me ask for their name as they started leading me to where the other contestants were. Before I knew it, I was sitting on one of the chairs, and a student named Gemma was already putting gel on my hair before I could even put a word out.

“You’re a handsome one. Your charms are different. You don’t have a typical Hollywood face, but your charisma is just oozing. Is this your first pageant?” Gemma asked while she was fixing my hair.

“This is my first one.”

“Really? That’s surprising,” Gemma then commented, and I think I knew what she was talking about. My charisma probably got better since I work at a bar where I’m required to look hot and flirt with the customers. But of course, I can’t tell her about that. I’ll just have to let her think that this is a natural God-given talent.

“Education Institute’s contestant!” Someone then shouted, making me turn my head to the side. I saw the senior student who assisted me earlier, and standing beside her was this really pretty woman who was almost the same height as Aries.

“Adlawan, this is your partner,” the senior stated, and the girl looked at me and gave me a shy smile. “You should work on your chemistry before the shoot, okay? I’ll get back to the two of you later.”

The senior left in a hurry again, and I stood from my seat to properly greet my partner even though Gemma wasn’t finished with my hair yet. “Hi, my name’s Dom. It’s nice to meet you,” I introduced myself by showing her my hand.

“I know you. You were the first guy to introduce yourself during the freshman orientation,” she said, grabbing my hand to shake it.

I was surprised that she remembered me. I think I saw her once, but I’m really the type to know everyone in our department. But the fact that she remembered me means that she knows that I’m gay. After all, that’s one of the things I said when I introduced myself.

“My name’s Ashley Almaden, but you can call me Ash. It’s nice to meet you too, Dom,” Ash said with a bright smile, unconsciously making me smile too.

To be honest, she wasn’t like Diane—Aries’s ex. I didn’t want to bring her out like this, but I couldn’t help but compare. Diane’s vibe was very different from hers. Diane was an it girl. Her face was the perfect face that’d cover a famous magazine. She might as well join Ms. Universe too with her charisma.

Ash was different because her features were softer. She had a face who’d star in a television series or a teleserye where she plays a young woman who’s usually abused by the people around her, but she’s actually the real daughter of a very rich family. She has the face that would make her the public’s darling. It almost feels like I’m looking at Mother Mary.

“You’re very pretty,” I said, the words coming out of my mouth before I could even stop them.

Ash was surprised, while Gemma covered her mouth in shock. A couple of seconds later, Ash chuckled, and Gemma nudged my side and started teasing me, making my cheeks turn red because of embarrassment.

“Looks like you don’t have to work on your chemistry after all,” Gemma then said.

“I’m sorry,” I told Ash, and Ash just shook her head in response.

“No, it’s fine. I’m flattered by the compliment,” she said. “And you’re very handsome yourself.”

“T-Thank you.”

The two of us sat down and got comfortable with each other. After that icebreaker, Ash and I pretty much hit it off. She was as soft-spoken as her face. She likes reading books, listening to Korean music, and even ice skating at the mall. She told me she grew up with a silver spoon and apologized in advance if she didn’t know a few things. And when she laughs, she has the tendency to cover her mouth, which I found pretty cute.

“I hope your mom recovers soon,” Ash told me after I shared about what happened to Mama.

“I hope so, too,” I replied.

Gemma finished Ash’s makeup just in time because it was already our turn to get our photos taken. Thankfully Gemma knew what to do because she only gave my partner light makeup, which helped brighten her face more.

While Gemma was putting on my sash that had the words “Mr. Education 2023,” Ash suddenly looked at me like she remembered something.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. President Aries was with me earlier. You’re his freshman partner, right?” Ash said, surprising me.

“Aries? He was here?”

I looked around the room to check if Aries was there, but after looking at every corner, he was nowhere to be found. I guess he just dropped Ash off and left. He’s a pretty busy guy, after all.

“Dom, Ash, the photographer is calling you,” Gemma then said after pinning the sash on Ashley, who also had the words “Ms. Education” written on it.

The two of us looked at each other and walked our way to the area where the white cloth was. The photographer was also a senior who was from the Fine Arts department, and judging by his equipment, he obviously knew what he was doing.

“Alright, we’ll have individual shots first, and then we’ll have you two pose together,” the photographer said.

I got to take photos first. This was my first time having an actual photoshoot, but I didn’t feel much pressure. It was just a simple photo shoot, so all I did was smile and make poses. It seemed like the photographer liked what I was doing too because he kept taking pictures while shouting, “ That’s it! Just like that! “ It sounded a bit dirty, in my opinion, but if the pictures turn out great, then who am I to complain?

Ash came next, and she was a lot more timid than I was. She was camera shy, and her body was a little stiff, which made the photographer scold her a few times. I didn’t really know how to help her, so all I did was smile at her and mouth the words, “ You can do it. “ Thankfully my encouragement helped somehow because Ash started posing better, and the photographer eventually showered her with praise.

“Alright, Adlawan, let’s have you join Almaden so we can have your couple shoot,” the photographer then said, so I walked towards the platform to stand beside Ash.

“You did great,” I said as I approached her.

“What are you saying? I did terribly. To be honest, my friends only forced me to join, but now it’s starting to sink in. Maybe I’m not cut out of this, and then you end up losing because of me?” Ash said with a pout, making me laugh at her.

“Oh no, what are we gonna do then?” I teased while patting her head, making Ash hit my shoulder.

“Looks like you two are close. Are you friends? Or maybe more than friends?” The photographer suddenly teased. But before I could even say anything, a bunch of seniors entered the room. It took a while for me to realize that two of them were actually Diane and Aries. 

I was literally just talking about her an hour ago, and now she appeared right where I didn’t want her to be. Maybe I manifested her too much, and now I have to force myself to watch her and Aries stand together while others shipped them.

“That kind of closeness is definitely for more than friends,” Diane said as she approached the photographer, Aries standing right beside her.

“Aries! Diane! You’re here!” The senior from earlier said as she approached them. “I can’t believe the previous winners of this pageant are gracing us today. Here to give the contestants some advice?”

“Oh please, Mae, you’re being overdramatic,” Diane said to the senior, whose name is actually Mae. Afterward, Diane looked in my direction, giving me a smile like we were close friends. “You look amazing, Dom. I might actually fall in love with you.”

“Having favorites already?” Mae then teased.

I awkwardly laughed and looked at Aries, but it seemed like he wasn’t even looking at me and was trying to occupy his thought with other things.

“By the way, this is Adlawan’s partner, Ashley Almaden,” Mae then introduced, immediately making Ash approach Diane so she could shake her hand.

“You’re really pretty,” Diane said.

“T-thank you.”

“They actually remind me of the two of you, but Aries was more like Ashley, and your confidence is much similar to Domingo,” Mae stated, making me look at Aries again, who was now staring at my pageant partner.

“Maybe they’ll end up together too,” the photographer then added, surprising Ash and me.

Ash shook her head while Diane and the other seniors started laughing. But while the three of them pretended like we weren’t the subject of their conversation, Aries suddenly cleared his throat, making Diane, Mae, and the photographer stop.

“There are a few other contestants who are waiting to get their photos taken. If you’re only going to disrupt their schedule, we might as well just leave,” Aries coldly said, making everyone in the room fall quiet.

Diane looked embarrassed, but she didn’t say anything anymore and just stood beside Aries while Mae went back to assisting the other contestants. The photographer seemed flustered too, but he cleared his throat and looked back at us, acting like he wasn’t just scolded.

“A-alright, let’s start.”

The couple shoot started a bit awkward because of Aries, and Ash ended up getting more pressured and nervous, so even if I didn’t want to, I ended up looking away from Aries so I could help my partner.

“ Look straight at me, “ I whispered, grabbing Ashley’s hand and intertwining our fingers together. She then looked up to stare into my eyes, and then the two of us ended up smiling at each other.

“That’s it!” The photographer shouted, the camera flash going crazy like we were walking the red carpet. Even the other contestants stopped practicing their poses to look at us.

“What are we shooting? Your pageant profile or your prenup?” I heard Gemma, our makeup and hair stylist, teasing, and all Ash and I could do was laugh.

Looks like our chemistry was great, which was good because I joined this pageant to win and not to play around. If winning means I have to act like Ash and I are campus sweethearts, then I’ll sell it like my life depends on it. This pageant can secure my scholarship. And at the same time…I get to kiss Aries like he promised. I definitely have to win this thing, no matter what.

“And that’s a wrap! Next pair!”

Our shoot ended well, and Ash and I hugged it out right after. I’ve always said that I’m overly confident, but I’m starting to think that we might actually win this pageant.

“That was great, Dom!” Ash excitedly said while holding both of my hands. “You really helped me out. I’m glad I got partnered with you.”

“You give yourself too little credit, Ash.”

“I know that in the finals, it’s possible that the winners can be from two different departments, so even if I don’t win…I hope you win, Dom. And I hope you get that scholarship,” Ash suddenly said to me, making me look at her in shock. I didn’t exactly know what to say, so I just reached out to pat her head, making Ash smile even wider. I’m lucky to be paired with such a beautiful and kind girl.

“You two,” someone then called out, making Ash and me turn our heads to see senior student Mae approach us.

“You two did amazing.”

“Thank you,” Ash and I said in unison.

“Anyway, the photos will be published tomorrow on the university’s main account. The likes will be counted as votes, so once they’re posted, share them with your friends and family. We’ll stop counting the votes on Friday. And on Wednesday, we’ll have our rehearsals at the gym, so please don’t be late,” Mae explained to us.

“Noted,” I answered, and Mae patted our backs before going back to the other contestants.

“Oh right, Ash. I actually thought of what we’ll do for the talent portion. But if you have anything in mind, we can do what you want,” I then said to my partner. I wanted to do interpretative dance, but if Ash isn’t comfortable with that, then we can do something else.

“No, it’s fine. I’m not really the talented type, so I’ll let you decide,” Ash answered.

“Then, can I have your number? Let’s talk about it when you’re free.”

“Sure.”

Ash pulled her phone out, and then we exchanged our numbers without much of a fuss. While we were doing so, Diane and Aries approached us again, immediately making me look away from my screen to look at them.

“Looks like I’ll have to train my kids more. Aries did a pretty good job handling you two,” Diane said with a smile, making me scratch the back of my head and just give out an awkward laugh. For some reason, I couldn’t really look her straight in the eye. I felt like a mistress having an affair with Aries even though I already knew that they were not together anymore.

“Aries and I are planning to eat lunch together at a restaurant just outside the campus. Would you like to join us?” Diane offered.

I looked at Aries to check if he was against it to not, but he looked like he didn’t really care much, so I looked back at Ash instead and asked her, “Do you want to go, or do you have other plans?”

“ If you’re going, then I’ll go too, “ Ash then whispered to me, so I nodded and looked back at the two seniors in front of us.

“Lunch sounds great.”

“Then let’s go,” Diane said in excitement. She then locked her arms around Ash’s arm before dragging her out of the room. When they got out first, I looked at Aries and jokingly offered him my arm too. But as expected, Aries rolled his eyes and turned away from me, making me chuckle.

“ Always so hot-tempered, “ I whispered under my breath as the two of us followed the two girls out.

The four of us went to the restaurant that Diane mentioned, which was a usual hangout place for college students. I would lie if I said that the entire situation wasn’t weird because the four of us looked like we were here on a double date. Of course, I’d prefer if I’m here as Aries’s date, but I’m pretty sure other people would see the partners very differently.

“You two look pretty close,” Diane said after we ordered our food.

Aries and Diane were sitting together, while I was sitting beside Ash. Thankfully Aries was sitting right across from me, so it wasn’t as awkward.

“I heard from Aries that you two are from different block sections,” Diane then added.

“We are. We just met earlier, but I think we hit it off pretty well,” Ash answered, and I nodded my head to agree to it. “Dom is very kind, after all.”

“I could agree with you. Don’t you think so, Aries?” Diane then asked, turning to Aries, who was busy looking at his phone.

“ Kind? If you call a stalker kind, then maybe he is, “ he suddenly whispered under his breath, surprising the three of us.

When Aries realized what he said, he quickly hid his phone away and stood from his seat. “Excuse me. I need to go to the restroom,” he told us. And before anyone could even give a reply, Aries had already walked away.

“Is President Aries alright? He’s been looking a little annoyed since earlier,” Ashley suddenly noticed, and Diane just tried laughing it off.

“He’s always like that, don’t worry about him,” Diane answered, almost making me grin because she had it all wrong. 

Aries wasn’t always like that at all. He only acts like that when he’s bothered by something, and from what I know, he’s only trying to get your attention. Aries might act as if he gets annoyed easily, but he really likes it when you pay attention to him. So being able to understand what goes through Aries’s head more than Diane does makes me feel happy somehow.

When did I even start acting like this was a competition and Diane was my rival?

“I’ll go check on him,” I said, standing from my seat as well and following Aries to the restroom before Diane and Ashley could even stop me.

When I arrived at the restroom, I saw Aries washing his hands. I was about to ask him what he was feeling, but before I could open my mouth, Aries spotted me, and then he suddenly ran to one of the cubicles like he was trying to hide from me.

I chased after him out of instinct, and before I knew it, I grabbed the door and opened it. I looked at Aries, and then I realized that his ears were completely red.

“Get the fuck out,” he angrily said, making me furrow my brows in confusion.

“Are you okay?”

“I said get—” Before Aries could finish his sentence, someone suddenly entered the restroom, immediately making me push him inside the cubicle, closing the door and making sure no one noticed that we were both inside.

There were about three people who entered the restroom and Aries and I were just clumped inside the cubicle, my hands over his mouth so he wouldn’t make a sound.

The two of us waited for the others to leave, but when I turned and looked back at Aries, I saw him glaring at me, almost like he was moments away from throwing a punch. So I slowly removed my hand away from him and leaned close to his ear to whisper, “ Why are you so grumpy today, Mr. Buan? And here I was, working hard all day for you. “

“ Shut the fuck up, “ he whispered back.

I looked at Aries again and smirked when I realized something.

“ Are you jealous? “

“ What the hell are you talking about now? “

“ Ever since the seniors started teasing Ashley and me that we looked good together, you started looking annoyed. Could it be that the great Aries Buan is jealous? “ I decided to tease him.

Aries’s eyes widened after hearing what I had to say. He tried pushing me off him, but I wasn’t budging at all. I grabbed him by his waist so he wouldn’t be able to move. When he was no longer struggling, I moved even closer to him and licked his lips, making him widen his eyes in shock.

“ That wasn’t cheating. That wasn’t technically a kiss, right? “ I continued to tease, and the redness on Aries’s ears slowly appeared on his cheeks too.

I thought he’d actually hit me this time, but to my surprise, he suddenly leaned his head against my chest, hiding his face so I wouldn’t be able to look at him anymore. I couldn’t help but be surprised by the reaction, but I was more worried by the fact that Aries might hear how loud my heart was thumping.

“ You better win that fucking pageant, “ he suddenly whispered, surprising me even more.

“A-Are you saying—” Before I could even finish my sentence, Aries suddenly stepped on my feet, forcing me to let go of him. Right after, he pushed me away and ran out of the cubicle. I thought we’d get caught for sure, but when I got out of the cubicle too, the restroom was actually now empty too.

“You’re seriously killing me here,” I said as Aries rushed out, leaving me alone in the restroom.

“Seriously…that guy,” I said, scratching the back of my head before laughing at myself. “I definitely have to win that pageant now,” I added, touching the chest that Aries just leaned on before heading back out to join the others.

end.

(30) Operation: Pageantry

TODAY WAS FINALLY THE day.

After all the preparations we had made, the pageant was happening right in front of me. Ash and I were standing backstage, checking on each other to see if we were okay or not. I was wearing this loose white buttoned shirt that I burrowed at the bar, while Ash wore this beautiful white dress that flowed as she walked.

“If anything happens, I got your back,” I told Ash, who was looking like she was seconds away from passing out.

Ash tried shaking it off, but when she heard the cheers at the auditorium, she suddenly pulled me closer and gave me a tight hug. “Dom! I don’t think I can do it. What if I trip? What if I say the wrong thing? I’m gonna be such an embarrassment to our entire institute.”

“Ashley, breathe,” I told her, grabbing her by her shoulders and looking directly into her eyes. “You’re not gonna trip. You’re not gonna say the wrong thing. And you’re definitely not gonna embarrass our institute. Look at you! You’re an actual goddess!” I say, reaching out to fix her hair.

“I’m gonna be beside you until the very end. Whatever happens, we’ll get through this,” I encouraged her, and Ash took one last deep breath before grabbing my hand and squeezing it.

“I’m really glad to have you as my partner, Dom. Let’s win this,” she says.

“Let’s win this.”

After the photos of Ash and I were uploaded a couple of days ago on the school’s social page, the attention we got from it was more than I thought it would. People took photos of us at the campus. I received a bunch of followers on my social accounts. And what’s even more surprising is that we ended up receiving seven thousand likes on our photos, which was such a surprise because I don’t even know a hundred people.

We weren’t the most liked couple, though, because the couple from the Institute of Tourism got twelve thousand likes, which is just insane. 

“Alright, everyone! Get ready! We’ll be starting in fifteen minutes!” Mae, the senior student who handled the entire program, shouted while loud music continued playing.

Ash and I went in line and got ready. But while she was adjusting my sash, a group of familiar faces suddenly appeared. It was my friends Justin, Vicki, and Arthur.

“Dom!” Vicki shouted as she and the others ran to where we were standing. I then noticed that they were wearing a shirt with my face on it, which I can only assume was Vicki’s idea.

“Holy shit, you look amazing!” She then said, staring at me from head to toe with that impressed look on her face. “Gotta hand it to you, Dom. I thought this pageant life wasn’t for you, but I’m starting to think that you might actually win this.”

“Should I be flattered or offended?” I asked, and Vicki just shrugged her shoulders.

“By the way, who on earth designed these shirts?” I then asked.

“Who else but Miss Victoria del Rosario? She made these shirts and forced us to pay for them,” Justin complained, making me laugh.

“Ashely, we also made a couple of shirts with your face on them and sold them to our other batch mates. I hope you don’t mind,” Vicki then said. 

I was about to scold my friend for doing such a thing without telling us about it, but thankfully Ash just chuckled and waved it off. “I don’t mind at all. Thank you for your support. Besides, I heard my friends also printed out this large tarpaulin of us, so I think that’s fine,” Ash explained, and Vicki sighed in relief.

“I like this girl,” she said, which was something I also agreed on.

“By the way, aren’t you even gonna introduce us?” Justin then asked like the true chickboy that he is.

“Oh yeah, Ash, if it’s not already obvious, these are my friends. This is Vicki, the crazy one. The quiet one is Arthur, he’s actually our council president’s brother, and then this guy…you actually don’t have to know who this guy is,” I said, and Justin glared at me before showing Ash his hand.

“My name’s Justin. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Justin introduced himself with that cheesy smile of his, making Vicki put a finger inside her mouth like she was going to vomit.

“Anyway, you look amazing, girl. I can’t believe you got partnered up with our friend here. I hope he doesn’t end up pulling you down,” Vicki then said.

“No, Domingo has been amazing. I’m really glad he’s my partner,” Ash kindly replied, and Justin, Vicki, and even Art started laughing like Ash had just said some sort of joke.

While my friends were talking to my partner, I turned my head and suddenly saw a familiar man standing near the entrance. It was the man I was very much in love with, Aries Buan.

“Guys, wait here. I’ll be back in a second,” I told them. And before they could even ask where I was going, I was already walking toward Aries, who looked like he was searching for someone. I got closer to him, and it seemed like he wasn’t able to notice me, so I snuck behind him and covered his eyes like a kid. I knew Aries wasn’t going to like that, so when he angrily pushed my hands away and turned to me with an annoyed expression, I couldn’t help but smile.

I prepared myself for the outburst, but when Aries turned around to look at me, he suddenly paused. He stared at me without saying a thing, but after a couple of seconds, his ears started to turn red, and he immediately ran out of the exit.

“ This guy… “

I chased after him until we arrived in an empty hallway. He tried running off like he did when I first saw him at the bar, but I was able to catch up to him with ease. It’s almost as if he wanted me to catch him.

“Mr. Buan,” I called out, grabbing his arm and pushing him against the wall so I could trap him in between my arms. “Do you know that you’ve been acting fucking adorable the past few days?”

“Let go of me,” he sternly said.

“You were looking for me, weren’t you? Now that I’m here, you can look a little longer if you want,” I teased back.

Aries’s cheeks were starting to turn red too. And like he always does, he looked away from me, making me sigh and reach out to his chin so he could look back at me again. I leaned close, and Aries didn’t push me away. I could almost hear our hearts beating fast over the loud music in the auditorium. But when my lips were only a few centimeters away from his, I quickly stopped myself before burying my head on his shoulder in defeat.

“ Won’t you at least wish me luck? “ I whispered.

Aries didn’t say anything for a while, but then he pushed me away from him. The two of us looked at each other again, and then, out of nowhere, he leaned close and gave me a soft kiss on my cheek.

“That wasn’t cheating, right?” He asked, and I swore to my grave that I almost kissed this man so passionately his head was gonna spin.

“No. That’s not cheating at all,” I answered with a smile.

Aries looked away from me again, but then he reached out and adjusted my sash for me. “You look very handsome,” he said. “And good luck.”

I smiled and leaned close to give him a soft kiss on his head this time. I wanted to touch him more, to hug him, kiss him, but I kept my shit together and moved away from him before finally heading backstage, where my partner, Ash, was waiting.

“Where’d you go? Your friends already went to their seats,” Ash stated when I got back.

“I just went out to get re-energized,” I answered, and Ash didn’t ask me about it anymore until the program finally started.

“Good evening, everyone, and welcome to Mr. & Ms. LU 2023!” The host announced, making the audience outside start cheering. “We have a total of 20 contestants tonight, but only 2 will be crowned as the victors.”

I was always confident with myself, but for some reason, this pageant was making my feet turn cold. Maybe because this is my first time to participate in such a huge thing, or maybe it’s because I have something at stake. Of course, I’m hoping to win this so I can finally give Aries a proper kiss, but other than that, I’m here to get a scholarship.

This pageant will literally determine my fate.

This is more to me than just a mere beauty contest.

“Let us all welcome the beautiful and handsome students of Librada University!”

The contestants started walking out on stage one by one. Each time someone would go out, I felt like my heart was going to explode. But as soon as we were called to the stage, my head went completely blank.

My body moved on its own as I walked out with my partner Ash. There were bright lights in front of me, barely making me see the audience that was cheering loudly. But when Ash and I stopped to stand in front of our microphones, I instantly saw my friends and classmates cheering like their lives depended on it. I saw the large tarpaulin that Ash also mentioned earlier. And then, at the back, watching me with that smile that he only showed me when we were alone, was Aries.

“Good evening, everyone! My name is Ashley Almaden, a first-year student of BS Education, Major in Science.”

“And I’m Domingo Adlawan, a first-year student of BS Education, Major in English,” I introduced next, the cheers of the crowd making it hard for me to hear my own voice.

Thankfully Ash looked at me and nodded her head to signal me that we were going to say our next line together.

“And apart from being future educators, we are certain that we will be your future Mr. & Ms. LU!” The two of us said together before finally walking away, the crowd shouting our names until we got backstage where the other contestants were.

“My heart is gonna explode!” Ash told me, and I immediately hugged her tight, congratulating her since we were able to do the first part of the pageant with ease.

“Wasn’t that fun?!” I then asked, pulling away from Ash, who was smiling from ear to ear.

“I was nervous earlier, but we’re definitely gonna win this. For your scholarship!” Ash then said to me, and I grabbed her to give her another hug.

“Contestants! Get ready to head back to the stage for your opening prod!” Senior student Mae then shouted, and everyone got ready to meet the crowd again.

The opening production went well, and I ended up feeling like I was on cloud nine. I guess people were right when they said that you’ll only be nervous at first, but when you’re finally doing it, it’s not gonna be so scary anymore.

After the opening, we ran back to our dressing rooms to change and get ready for the talent portion. In the dressing room, my co-workers at the Red Light Bar, Flo and Henney, were waiting for us with our costumes.

“Let’s go, you two! We only have a couple of minutes!”

When I told Ashely that I wanted to do an interpretative dance, Ash got excited and agreed to it. So I introduced her to Flo and Henney, who are the choreographers for the productions we do at the bar. But of course, I didn’t explain to her what kind of bar it was, and Ash was kind enough not to ask me about it.

We only had two days to practice the 3-minute routine. Ash and I weren’t exactly “world of dance” material, so Flo and Henney made the steps easy for us to follow, but was still captivating to watch. It was also a big help that I worked as a delivery man before because Flo made me carry Ash a couple of times. It’s a miracle that I didn’t end up dropping her.

“Now let us all welcome our next contestants, Mr. & Ms. Education, Domingo, and Ashley!” The host called out, and Ash and I went to our positions, which was Ash lying on the floor while I stood on the side.

Everyone in the auditorium was now quiet at this time, and the lights were turned off, so I wasn’t able to see the crowd clearly. I couldn’t really tell where my friends were or where Aries was, but when the music started and when the spotlight turned on, I just let my body loose and started dancing.

The music we chose for this dance was a bit mellow at the beginning, but it started becoming a lot bolder in the middle.

Ash and I danced like we were alone on stage. I grabbed her arm, lifted her up, and moved as the music controlled our bodies. It was easy to be in sync with Ashley because we understood each other. Through this dance, I expressed my love and my growing admiration for her. She was a beauty to behold, and I wanted people to see that.

I wanted them to watch us express that beauty in every movement we made. I wanted them to be mesmerized.

That’s why when the song finally finished, and as our sweat streamed down on the side of our foreheads, I turned and looked at Ashley, and then I realized how beautiful she really was.

The crowd cheered for us as we looked back at them. But as my eyes finally fell on Aries, my heart skipped a beat, and then I realized once again that he was as beautiful as the woman standing beside me on stage—maybe even more.

I looked at him as the crowd continued to cheer, and I just looked at him as he looked back at me. I didn’t want to remove my gaze from him. I wanted to make sure that he saw what I did and that he saw the beauty that I was willing to portray.

“ Dom, what do you want to express in this dance ?“ Flo asked me when we were still practicing the routine.

“ What do I want to express ?“ I asked back, turning my head and looking out of the window to see the moon shining bright above us. “ Maybe something like beauty .“

“Beauty? Of what?”

“Of everything…beauty of the universe.”

Ash grabbed my hand, and I blinked and realized that it was already over. I squeezed her hand tight, and then we bowed and ran backstage where Flo and Henney were waiting for us.

“You guys were amazing! You literally took my breath away,” Flo praised, grabbing both of us for a tight hug.

“Alright, let’s get you both ready for the announcement.”

The next segment was a lot more nerve-wracking because they were going to announce the top 4. Four female contestants and four male contestants. If you get lucky, you’ll be up for the question and answer portion, which was, for me, the most difficult part of the pageant.

Aries told me that the questions wouldn’t be as hard as an actual pageant, where they usually ask about advocacies. But they’ll most likely relate it to our degree program, which in my case, was Education.

“Dom, you unbuttoned your shirt wrong,” Flo scolded while I blankly stared at myself in the mirror.

Flo and Henney prepared for our final outfit. I wore a white fancy suit, while Ash wore another white dress, matching the clothes we were during the opening prod.

“Do you think they’ll ask us hard questions,” I asked Ash, now acting more nervous than she was before the pageant began.

I was so nervous about the question and answer portion that I didn’t even think about the announcement of the contestants who would move forward. That’s why when I walked to the stage with Ash, all I could think about was the question I might get, which was funny because, at this point, I wasn’t even sure if I was gonna make it to the top 4.

“W hatever happens, let’s just do our best, “ Ash whispered to me as we waited for the results to be announced.

The contestants were called one at a time. They’d call one male contestant, and then a female contestant followed. Ash and I were holding hands through it all, but it seemed like I manifested it too much because after the third contestant, the name that was called was…

“Contestant no. 9, Domingo M. Adlawan!” The host announced, and the crowd cheered so loud I thought my ears were gonna bleed. Ash was also happy for me. In fact, she was too happy for me because she ended up grabbing me for a hug, tears streaming down from her eyes as she tightly held onto me. This woman was really an angel sent from heaven.

“ You did it, babe. Oh god, congratulations, “ she whispered as tears continued to pour out of her eyes. I then leaned close and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek before pulling away from her. But as I was about to walk toward the other contestants, the host suddenly stopped me.

“Mr. Adlawan, where are you going?” He asked. “Aren’t you going to accompany Ms. Almaden to the next round too?!”

Everyone started screaming as soon as it was revealed that Ash was part of the top 4 too. I literally ran towards her and grabbed her hand while Ash was still very much in shock. It was really funny because she looked like she was already contented that I won on her behalf, so having her called too must have given her such a shock.

It took a while for both of us to properly realize that we ended up getting to the finals even though we’ve been talking about wanting to win since the pageant started. I don’t want to brag though, but the others just didn’t have a chance.

Okay, maybe that’s just overkill. Getting to the top 4 had literally made me so confident for some reason.

“Now let us call on our next contestant for their Q & A.”

But of course, that confidence ended up slapping me on the ass when I was called on stage for the final segment that would determine whether or not I was gonna win this thing.

My heart was racing as I held onto the microphone that was given to me. I looked at the crowd and saw my friends giving me a thumbs up, cheering me on with their undying support. I then turned my head and found Aries staring back at me. He must have noticed that I was nervous because he started mouthing the words, “ Breathe in. Breathe out. “

I did what he said and steadied my breathing so I didn’t end up passing out. But while I was calming myself down, I suddenly remembered the moments Aries and I shared thanks to this pageant. I remembered him giving me private lessons, going out with me to a coffee shop I wanted to go to, and even the time he cooked me a meal at home even though he doesn’t know how to cook. 

All those instances made me feel at ease. It gave me my courage and my confidence back, so when the judge finally asked me the golden question, my mind was clear enough to give an answer.

“Mr. Adlawan, as a future educator, what can you say about the widely known discussion that teachers are considered one of the most underappreciated professions in our country today?” One of the judges finally asked, and right then and there, my gears started to turn.

The question was unexpectedly expected.

As soon as I heard the question, I thought of my mother, and at that moment, I knew what type of answer I was gonna give.

“Many teachers are undervalued and do not receive adequate compensation for their hard work, often having to endure difficult working conditions even though they’re the foundation of our educational system. The lack of appreciation for teachers stems from the misconception that their job is easy. In reality, they make it look effortless, despite dedicating years of their lives to educating the next generation. Teachers are underappreciated…because it is easier for society to appreciate a book than to acknowledge the author.”

I think I did good, or maybe I ended up saying something way too cheesy that I ruined my chance. But as soon as I said the last word of my sentence, I felt like my legs were going to give up on me.

I needed a reaction. I didn’t care if they were boos or cheers; I just needed something because, at that moment, I thought everyone was completely silent and still. I thought for a second that they hated my answer, but when the host touched my shoulder, I finally snapped back to my senses and realized that people were actually clapping their hands for me.

“What a wonderful answer, contestant no. 9. Well done.”

You know that feeling when you’ve finished a painting for months, and then you look back at it with a relieved sigh? Well, I was feeling that exact relief. At this point, I didn’t even care if I won or not. I did my best and worked on everything that I needed to work on. I have no regrets.

Well, of course, that was before the actual winners were announced.

“And this year’s Mr. & Ms. LU are…contestants number…9 and 10! Mr. Domingo Adlawan and Ms. Ashley Almaden!”

Yes, I know.

We actually fucking won.

Things happened way too fast after that. I merely blinked and I was already wearing a sash that said Mr. LU 2023. There was a crown on my head. My friends, classmates, and Flo and Henney ran to the stage to congratulate me. And a dozen of students wanted to take a photo. It was unbelievably incredible. This was something that I never thought I’d be able to do. 

Mama was right. College really is the best thing that happened in my life.

“ Where are you, Aries? “ I whispered under my breath, looking around to see if he was still in the auditorium, but he was nowhere to be found.

“Dom, they said that all the contestants will meet up at a bar to celebrate. I told them that you’ll just follow us after you settle something,” Ash said after the ceremony.

“Settle something? What are you talking about?” I asked, holding the bouquet that was given to us earlier.

Ashley smiled, and then she reached out and adjusted the crown that I was wearing. “Aries is probably waiting for you, right?”

My eyes widened in shock, but then I chuckled and reached out to adjust the crown on her head as well. “Your boyfriend’s probably waiting for you too,” I told her, looking at a second-year college student who was also holding a bouquet that he’s been dying to give his very beautiful girlfriend.

“You know, Ashley, if I was straight, I might actually fall in love with you for real,” I told her.

“I’m flattered, Dom. But you wouldn’t be my type anyway,” she answered.

The two of us laughed before giving ourselves a tight hug. And when we finally pulled away from each other, I ran and ran…searching for the man who I made an important promise with.

“ I’ll have it all…I swear it, to the moon and back. “

end.

(31) Fulfilled Promise [m]

“HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN President

Aries?“ I asked a group of students from my department who were waiting outside the auditorium. Three of them congratulated me first for winning the pageant, while the other one told me that they saw him heading to the parking lot right after the winners were announced.

With a crown on my head, a sash hanging around my neck, and a bouquet of flowers in my hand, I ran to the parking lot like a runaway groom, hoping to catch a man I made a promise with.

“I can’t believe he just ran off as soon as the winner was announced,” I complained to myself as I continued running down the stairs to exit the building.

When I got to the parking lot, I went straight to the slot where Aries usually parks his car. I checked each car like some kind of stalker, but as soon as I saw the plate number of a familiar car that I have gotten on a dozen times now, a smile automatically appeared on my face.

“He’s still here!” I celebrated, running closer.

When I got to the car, my heart practically dropped when I saw Aries standing right there. He opened the door and was about to go in, but I immediately got to him, shutting the door so he wouldn’t be able to get inside.

“Jesus!” He shouted in shock, looking at me like he saw a ghost.

“Where on earth are you going? I can’t believe you were going to escape again,” I told him, and Aries sighed and looked at me from head to toe before giving me an explanation.

“You were taking pictures with your friends, and you have a party to go to after, right? I didn’t want to stand in the way,” he answered, and I didn’t know if I was supposed to get mad at him for that or not.

“Well, that’s the thing, I was hoping to go to the party with you. After all, you’re the one who helped me win this thing,” I said.

I was expecting Aries to get annoyed or even decline the offer like how he always does, but surprisingly enough, he didn’t. He just sighed and eventually nodded his head.

“Fine, let me drive you there.”

A smile quickly appeared on my face as I rushed to the passenger’s seat, putting the bouquet and my winning sash on the back so it wouldn’t bother us. Aries couldn’t say anything anymore as he got inside the car too. And when the two of us were inside together, he looked at me and stared at the crown on my head.

“I won,” I told him.

“ I won for you “ were the true words I wanted to tell him, but I knew that Aries wouldn’t like that. He wanted me to win that pageant for me and for my mother, and that trait of his always made me fall deeper for him.

“I did good, didn’t I?”

Aries continued to stare at me, and the silence in the car suddenly made my heart beat even louder. I couldn’t say anything anymore as Aries decided to remain silent. But after a while, he lifted his hand and reached out to me. For a second, I thought he was gonna touch me, but then he reached out to remove my crown instead.

“I had the exact same one at home. I can’t believe they haven’t changed it,” Aries stated, staring at the crown with a small smile.

I furrowed my brows because Aries was more interested in the crown than me, so I unconsciously snatched it away from him.

“Hey! I was looking at it,” he said as he tried to take it back from me again.

I pulled my hand away as he continued to reach out for it. But just as he was about to snatch the silver headpiece from my hand, our faces suddenly leaned against each other. And before I knew it, our eyes were already locked in place.

“Stop messing around,” I said, making Aries gulp.

“ I won, “ I whispered this time, trying to remind him of the promise we made the last time he visited my house. But when Aries finally understood what I meant, he immediately removed his gaze from me before pulling himself away.

The two of us sat there in silence, the awkward atmosphere almost making me feel ashamed for even bringing it up. But as we sat in our seats, Aries looked out of the window and whispered back, “ I know. I’ve always known. “

That one sentence…that one single sentence…was enough to make my heart skip a beat. At that very moment, I had confirmed that I really was madly, truly, and deeply in love with this man. Simply catching a glimpse of him made me happy. Speaking to him made me happy. And these small moments we shared, moments he might not even remember, secured my feelings for him.

“Is that all?” I teased.

The parking lot was dark, but I could still see the face that he made because of his reflection in the window. I could tell that he looked annoyed, but more than that, he was definitely flustered.

“President Aries Buan…don’t you have a promise to fulfill with me?” I continued to tease, but Aries still didn’t budge. His ears started to turn red, and I knew that I was close to cracking him open. But as I was about to make one last push, I decided to stop myself.

“I’m just joking around. Come on, the others might already be at the bar,” I said instead, and Aries immediately looked at me in shock.

“ Gotcha… “ I thought to myself as I pretended to ignore him. I put on my seatbelt, and then I looked out of the window to stare at the moon in the sky. I made a declaration that I was going to make Aries admit that he liked me. I shouldn’t be the one to always push him. He has to make the first move too.

“Is there a problem?” I asked back when I noticed that Aries wasn’t starting the car. I turned to look at him again, and when I saw his expression, I almost busted out laughing.

Aries Buan, the man who had wrapped me around his fingers since the day we got the same number at the Freshman Orientation, was now pouting in front of me like a kid.

“Do you know how cute you’re acting right now?”

“I fucking hate you,” he replied.

“I bet you do.”

Aries glared at me, and then, out of nowhere, he grabbed me by the necktie and pulled me closer to him.

For a second, I thought I was in a movie. Everything went in slow motion, and there was music playing in the background as rose petals fell on top of the car. It felt magical. I felt like I was a kid who just found out what love felt like. Cupid must have shot me a dozen times too because when our lips touched, I just let everything go.

Aries kissed me, and I let him kiss me.

I kissed him, and he let me kiss him.

Our lips touched each other, and then he pushed his tongue inside, exploring a place he could only visit. And while we were making out, I reached out to gently touch his cheek.

“ Wait… “ he whispered as he pulled himself away from me.

“ Sit on my lap, “ I whispered back.

Aries’s ears turned completely red, but he didn’t complain. He got up and transferred to my seat, sitting on my lap like a good boy. With his hands on my shoulders, the two of us stared at each other’s eyes in silence. But while we were looking at each other, I adjusted the seat and pulled back, the sudden movement making him rub against me.

A moan escaped from his mouth, and my body instantly reacted to such a soft yet sensual sound.

“ We’re going to be doing something very shameful, “ I whispered against his ear, and Aries just touched my shoulder and nodded his head while trying his best to avoid my gaze. 

Winning that pageant was seriously fucking worth it.

“Can you remove your pants?” I asked, and Aries started unzipping his pants without any hesitation. I watched him strip, his ears still red like he was embarrassed, but his actions said otherwise.

“Aren’t you afraid someone might see?”

“The windows are tinted.”

“Then thank god for the tinted windows,” I joked, and Aries just hit my shoulder until he was completely naked in the lower area. He then positioned himself on my bulge and sat on top of it, the contact making me swallow the lump in my throat.

“You’re very eager tonight, Mr. Buan. I’m starting to get worried,” I continued to tease while he started unbuttoning my shirt.

“If you tease me one more time, I’m gonna stop,” he then threatened, which worked because I didn’t tease him anymore when he said it.

Aries moved a little, and then he pushed himself lower into my bulge. Soon after, he started rubbing himself against me, his dick hitting my abdomen every time he moved.

“ That’s fucking hot, “ I whispered as I watched him pleasure himself with my hard member. I guess I’m not the only one who was eager to fulfill this promise. He must have waited for this moment. He must have imagined this happening when my name was announced as the winner.

“Are we gonna have sex?” I asked him, and Aries looked at me annoyingly again.

“I told you to stop teasing me, or I really will stop.”

“You? Stop? That’s not very convincing, Aries, especially when you’ve been rubbing yourself against me like that,” I told him. “Besides, that was a valid question. I wouldn’t wanna assume.”

“I’m fucking sitting on top of you without pants on, and you’re still going to ask me that?” He asked back, and this time, I laughed before hugging him tightly. How can someone be so handsome, cute, and sexy at the same time? How can he make me act so carelessly like this and not worry about anything or anyone?

“Alright, alright, I get it. Then do you at least have a condom? My wallet is inside my bag, and unfortunately, Vicki has it,” I said, and Aries turned around and opened the compartment, pulling out a condom that was the exact same brand and size as the one I have.

“Call me delusional, but did you buy that knowing that this is gonna happen?”

“Shut up.”

“You did, didn’t you?!”

“It wasn’t supposed to be in the car,” Aries finally admitted, and because of that, I could no longer keep it together as I snatched the condom from his hand.

“You’re seriously driving me crazy,” I told him as I unzipped my pants, pulling my dick out so I could put the slippery condom on.

Aries looked down and watched me. And as he watched, he seductively licked his lips, instantly making my cock harden even more. “ I always wondered how your cock fits inside my tight hole. You must be very good at sliding it inside ,“ Aries teasingly whispered in my ear. He knew what the fuck he was doing when he said that. He was basically begging me not to go gentle on him like last time.

“How would others react if they found out their beloved council president had such a slutty mouth,” I said, and right after, I pushed myself inside him, making his entire body tremble.

Aries gripped the headrest of my seat as his walls tightened around me. I almost came like last time, but I held it in as much as I could. I didn’t want to disappoint him.

“Holy shit…that feels f-fucking good,” I said as I held onto his waist. “Are you okay? You don’t have to move yet.”

“I-It’s okay,” Aries answered, slowly pulling out of me before shoving it back in, instantly making me release a moan.

“F-Fuck…baby, that feels so good,” I told him. “Come on. Move a little faster.”

Aries started to bounce on top of me, his head hitting the ceiling of the car every time he did so. The position we were in was also uncomfortable, so I adjusted a little so Aries wouldn’t have a hard time.

While Aries continued riding me, he moved his hand, touched my chest, and then looked directly into my eyes again. “Kiss me,” he demanded, so I kissed him without any question, tasting every inch of his mouth as he continued to drown me in pleasure that I never knew I’d ever get to experience.

When we pulled away from the kiss, I leaned towards his collar to kiss it as well, and then I pulled him closer so I could kiss the side of his neck.

Aries’s cock rubbed against my stomach every time he pushed himself deeper. And every time he moved, the car would move with him. I bet if someone were outside, they’d instantly know what was happening.

“Babe, you’re getting harder. I can feel it,” he then said while holding onto his abdomen, and the way he called me that only turned me on even more.

“That’s definitely cheating,” I replied, and Aries grinned and licked his lower lip before leaning back, his hand pressed against the window while his other hand held onto his cock.

This time, it was my turn to thrust into him.

The car moved, and the windows started to fog. Sweat streamed down both of our bodies, and all I could think of was how beautiful he looked in front of me. I trusted my hips again, my balls stopping myself from going deeper. But after a few more thrusts, I finally came inside him. A couple of seconds later, Aries came on me as well.

The two of us started to pant heavily, and the adrenaline slowly left our system. Aries leaned towards me and rested his head on my shoulder, but he didn’t pull out. He just let me stay inside him as our heartbeats chased each other.

“You’re going to be the death of me, Aries,” I said as I reached out to caress his head.

Aries chuckled, and then he looked back at me and gave me a quick kiss before resting his head on my shoulder again. The two of us didn’t say anything as we tried to catch our breaths. But as Aries leaned against me, he said the words that instantly put a smile on my face.

“Thank you for working hard,” he said with such a soft voice that it made my heart feel warm again.

“Thank you for always making me want to work hard,” I replied, kissing his head before looking at the moon outside the window, staring at our only witness for such a lustful and sinful night.

…

After our…sensual exchange, Aries and I switched positions. And when I say positions, it wasn’t like what you might expect. Because unlike the times he would drive me home, I was in the driver’s seat instead, and Aries was in the passenger’s seat.

Aries said that he wanted to take a break because his bottom was hurting, so I offered to drive for us instead. He didn’t believe me and thought I was teasing him again, but I showed him my driver’s license and told him that I worked as a delivery man before. After a few more convincing, Aries finally let me drive his expensive car.

“Don’t worry. It’s not like I’m going to drive bad on purpose. I wouldn’t have the money to pay even if it was a mere scratch,” I jokingly said, and Aries didn’t react and just looked out of the window while I continued driving.

“Hey, are you feeling okay? Do you want to go home? I could go to the party alone,” I stated, but Aries remained silent.

I didn’t know what he was feeling again.

Whenever we have sex, his feelings would just ooze out of him uncontrollably, but whenever we’re like this, he automatically locks himself up again.

It’s really hard the crack his code.

I guess it was never really easy, to begin with.

“What’s on your mind?” I asked him.

I thought Aries would continue to ignore me, but without looking at me, he answered, “Do you like Ashley?”

The question came out of nowhere, and I almost hit the brakes in complete shock. “A-Ashley? You mean Ash? Why on earth would you—”

“During your dance number…your eyes almost looked like it was sparkling. You looked like you were in love,” Aries answered, making me stop the car at a red light so I could look at him.

Is this what they call after-sex blues?

“Aries, I’m gay. And Ashley just so happens to know I’m gay too. The fact that you could tell my eyes is able to show love is because you’ve seen me look at you like that,” I seriously answered him, and Aries turned his head to look at me.

“The men I dated in the past…they kept telling me that they liked me, over and over again, declaring their love like it was easy. But when I finally gave in, and when their family and society as a whole started looking at our direction, they’d let go and realize that liking women would be easier,” Aries said with a sad expression.

I sighed and reached out to touch his hand tightly. “Do you think I’m like those men?” I asked him, and Aries gulped and shook his head.

“No, and that’s what scares me the most,” he honestly replied.

I intertwined our fingers and then pulled his hand close so I could kiss it. “Then let’s be scared together,” I told him.

Aries didn’t answer and looked out of the window again. But he didn’t let go of my hand, so I just sighed and drove off, my hand still intertwined with his.

Aries might not be able to express himself better compared to when we have sex, but I guess this is a good start. Little by little…one step at a time…we’ll definitely be able to admit our feelings to each other. 

I’ll definitely make him feel that loving me is easier than counting the stars. And if I have to win all the pageants in the country, I’ll participate in all of it so you’d realize that the love in my gaze is and will only be directed to you.

end.

(32) Viral

THERE WERE A LOT of people when we arrived at the bar. This was the same bar that Justin and I went to, and this was also the very same bar where I first met Diane—Aries’s ex. I asked Aries earlier if she was going to be there when we arrived, and Aries just shrugged his shoulders and told me that he didn’t care if she was there or not.

“I know we’ve discussed this before, but why are you always so cold towards her?” I asked Aries while I parked the car.

Aries didn’t answer me, so I just let the topic go.

When I finally parked the car, the two of us got off and went inside the bar. Students from LU dominated the place, and when they saw us, they started congratulating me for winning the pageant. I felt like an actual superstar, and I could see Aries trying his best not to laugh as I appreciatively accepted the attention.

“Dom!” A familiar voice then shouted.

I turned around and saw my friends Vicki, Justin, and Art. They must have started drinking because Vicki’s cheeks were already turning red.

“Where have you been?!” Vicki shouted over the loudspeakers before turning her head to look at Aries. “Oh, President Aries! You’re here too! Did you drive for our friend again?”

I thought Aries would answer her, but instead, he looked at his little brother, Arthur, and told him, “What are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be at home? Do you want Dad to scold you again?”

There was an awkward silence between us after what Aries said. Arthur looked embarrassed, too, probably because he didn’t like how his brother had to call him out like that in front of his friends. I honestly wanted to intervene, but I knew that it wasn’t my place. I could tell that Arthur wanted to talk back as well, but instead, he sighed and turned our heads to us with a defeated look.

“Looks like I’ll have to go home.”

“Wait, Art…” Vicki called out, but Arthur had already set up his mind.

“And congratulations again, Dom. You were amazing,” he then told me, patting my shoulder before walking off.

As soon as Art left, Vicki glared at Aries before taking her leave. Justin looked at us and awkwardly laughed as he followed Vicki.

“Aries, was that necessary?” I immediately asked, looking at Aries with an annoyed expression. “It’s only 9 PM, and Art is over 18. Isn’t it unfair that you’re here and—”

“Please don’t lecture me about how I discipline my brother,” Aries then said, cutting me off. “I rather discipline him myself than my father, especially when he has a very rough way of doing so.”

“W-Wait, are you saying he hits you?” I asked in shock, but Aries didn’t answer anymore and walked towards the table where the other seniors from our department were seated.

“Pres! You’re here!” One of them excitedly called out, and like always, Aries placed this irritating fake smile on his face, waving at them like he was running for mayor.

Aries joined them, so I went to look for my friends, who were actually with Ashley and her friends.

“Dom!” Ash shouted, putting her beer down so she could stand from her seat to hug me. “You’re finally here! I was worried that you might end up ditching me.”

I smiled and hugged her back, but when I glanced at the table where Aries was seated, I accidentally saw him staring at us, so I unconsciously pushed Ash away, afraid that Aries might end up getting jealous.

God, we’re not even together yet, and I’m starting to get scared of him.

“Ash, where’s your boyfriend?”

“I had to ask him to leave. He was trying to stay, but I knew that he had a report to finish.”

“Oh, is that a new way of saying…I don’t want my boyfriend to be at a bar where other people could hit on him without me noticing?” I sarcastically asked, and Ash ended up laughing and hitting my shoulder.

“Come on. We already started drinking.”

My friends and I wildly enjoyed the pageant’s after-party. We had a few drinks, Ash and I ended up dancing when our favorite song played, and then we got to take pictures with almost everyone. Someone even forced us to wear our crowns and sash again so we could reenact our introduction. I also got to chat with the first and second-runner-up winners. They were all beautiful inside and out and surprisingly heavy drinkers too.

The night went on, and everyone was getting heated. At times Aries and I would even glance at each other, which somehow excited me from time to time because it felt like we were in this forbidden love story.

And I know that most of you won’t even care, but Diane wasn’t able to come to the after-party. Heard from one of the contestants that she had to attend something far more important than this. I can’t say I’m a teensy bit relieved.

As we continued to enjoy the night while drowning ourselves with alcohol, it was only natural that the drinks would take over some…irresponsible people…who had this innate ability to ruin everyone’s fun.

“It’s a shame that Flo and Henney weren’t able to join us,” Ash stated before taking a sip of her beer.

“Yeah, they said that they didn’t want to hang out with a bunch of college kids. I told them it wasn’t a big deal, but we can’t really force them,” I explained.

“By the way, where did you even meet those two?” Vicki asked.

“Well, I met them at—” Before I could even make up an excuse about not meeting them at a gay bar that I work at, someone suddenly approached our table holding a bottle of beer, saving me from what I felt would have been a sloppy explanation. He was one of the contestants, and if I remember correctly, his name was Luke. I don’t recall much because he barely attended our practices, and I only formally met him during the actual pageant.

“Domingo, right? Congratulations on winning the pageant,” Luke stated.

“Thanks, man. Wanna sit with us and have a couple more drinks?” I asked, which was just common courtesy, and not because I really did want him to join us.

“No, it’s fine,” he answered before taking a sip of the beer he was holding. “But you know, it’s really funny. I think it’s kind of unfair that you won,” he then stated in a loud voice, instantly making everyone around us stop whatever they were doing to eavesdrop on us.

“If that were a gay pageant, it would have been fair. But this was a straight pageant. You shouldn’t have been asked to join, to begin with,” he explained

“I’m sorry, what?”

The students at the other table started whispering at each other. Vicki almost got on this guy’s face too. Thankfully his friends came in to pull him away from us.

“We’re really sorry,” one of his friends apologized. “Luke, you’ve been drinking too much. Time to go home.”

“N-No, let go of me.” Luke pushed his friend away, almost making him stumble and hit another student. Because of this, I finally got up from my seat to confront him. I’m used to this kind of talk since this happens all the time at the bar. But this is different because I wasn’t getting paid to suck it up. You can’t act like an asshole in a place like this and expect to get away with it.

I can’t help but remember Jonah, who sexually harassed me during my first time as a table employee at the Red Light bar. I guess people with bible names do have terrible personalities.

“Hey, calm down. I don’t know what your problem is, but if you can’t handle your alcohol, go home. You’re scaring everyone,” I told him, trying to cover Ashley because she was starting to look uncomfortable.

“You know what my problem is…f-ggot,” Luke fired back, instantly making my eyes widen in shock. Vicki was about to stand from her seat to defend me, but I immediately stopped her. This wasn’t her battle. I can’t let her fight it for me.

“Look, just because you didn’t win, it doesn’t mean you have to look for some dumb excuse to make you feel better. Just go home. No one wants a sour loser,” I told him, and the guy laughed.

I thought he was going to say another ridiculous insult, but to my surprise, he suddenly grabbed a cocktail from our table. I felt like I was in a melodrama where everything went in complete slow motion. Luke eventually threw the drink in my direction. People around us gasped as I closed my eyes to wait for the inevitable. But after a couple of seconds, nothing happened.

I slowly opened my eyes back to see what had happened, but to my surprise, someone was standing right in front of me, soaking wet after catching what was supposed to be my fate.

“P-President Aries,” Vicki said while covering her mouth in shock.

Aries, who was standing in front of me, took his handkerchief out to wipe his face with it. I don’t know what had gotten into me, but before I knew it, my fist made contact with Luke’s face, and soon after, we were having a fistfight.

People screamed and moved back as Luke and I were now punching each other on the floor. Justin was pulling me away while Luke’s friends did the same. I didn’t even know what went over me that night, but all I thought at that moment was…

“ You messed with the wrong fucking man. “

…

“You are seriously an idiot,” Vicki scolded while putting ointment on the wound at the side of my mouth. “Did you really have to punch him like that?” She then asked while the two of us were sitting on the pavement.

“I don’t know, okay? I didn’t know what had gotten into me,” I answered before looking at the guards who were escorting the other students out of the bar. “I’m sorry. I ruined everyone’s night.”

“To be honest, I think most of us were glad you punched the guy. People who start shit like that are bound to get their ass beaten,” Justin, who was standing beside us, then stated while gesturing at Luke, who was being scolded by the seniors in his department.

“Anyway, how’s Ash? Did she already go home?”

“Yeah. Her boyfriend arrived a few minutes ago to pick her up,” Justin answered.

“That’s good.”

After putting a bandaid on my wound, Vicki nudged at my side and then gestured at Aries. He was with his friends, asking him if he was alright. “Why not thank your knight and shining armor?” Vicki suggested.

I then looked at Justin, who nodded his head to agree to it, so I stood from the pavement and walked towards Aries. He was talking to his friends, but when I got closer to him, his friends looked at each other before stepping away and giving us space.

“Hey, you okay?” I asked.

“Why is everyone asking me that? It’s just a drink. It’s not like I’m gonna melt,” he managed to joke, but I didn’t laugh, and my reaction made him look away.

“Why’d you cover for me?” I finally asked.

“So you wouldn’t end up punching him. But it seemed like what I did had an opposite effect,” he answered. “Why did you have to do that? You threw the first punch. What happens if he sues you? What then?”

I didn’t answer him anymore and just reached out for my pocket to grab my handkerchief. I waited for him to calm down and look at me, and when he did, I wiped his cheek, his neck, and then his collar.

“ Dom… “ he whispered.

“It’s going to be alright,” I told him. “ It’s going to be alright. “

But it didn’t.

It wasn’t alright at all.

It was actually the complete opposite of that.

“Dom! We have a problem!”

On Monday, things turned for the worse. What was supposed to be a drunken homophobic remark at the bar later became the talk of the town. But no, people weren’t talking about the asshole, Luke. They were talking about me…and Aries.

Someone in the bar took a video of us, uploaded it to our school page, and, as you might have expected, it went viral overnight. It was a video of Aries blocking Luke’s drink missile, and then I reacted by punching the guy. Somewhere along the lines, my sexual identity was talked about. But what’s worse was the caption of the video.

“ Is the president of the Education Department dating Mr. LU?!!!! Look how they protected each other last night!! So sweet! “

The anonymous poster of the video must have had good intentions and thought it would be very  cute to post that video with that type of caption. The commenters would most likely agree to it too because the comments were filled with…

“ If this is true, then

they’re so perfect together! “

“Aren’t they senior-freshman partners?! That makes their love story even better!”

“Two good-looking guys dating? Sign me up!”

“My BL fantasy is real!”

“Who do you think made the first move? It’s definitely Mr. LU because he has such ‘top’ energy.”

“No!!! I had a major crush on President Aries! That’s such a shame!”

“Doesn’t that mean President Aries is gay too? I didn’t know that. He hid his sexuality well.”

At first glance, you’d think that this is the best thing ever. You’d think it’s amazing because you didn’t expect people to be so supportive. But it wasn’t. What people thought was just harmless and an act of support was far different from that.

For me, it was okay. I could just brush it off. I’m gay, and people called me names my entire life because of it. But I’m not hiding it. I never hid it, to begin with.

But Aries…He was different.

He hid his identity because he was scared, and that fear was more than just fear of rejection. His fear was fragile, and that stupid video…and that stupid caption…and those stupid comments…

They were like the monsters that kept him locked in that closet.

“Where’s Aries?” I asked as I arrived at Aries’s classroom.

The classroom was already empty, but Mark and Jesse were still inside, discussing something so important they had to whisper at each other as they spoke. But when they saw me, their reaction made me realize that they were probably talking about the issue regarding Aries and me.

“Aries is at the council office. He doesn’t want to leave the room,” Jesse explained before tossing me the keys.

I didn’t say anything and just nodded my head, and I could tell that Mark and Jesse also knew what I was thinking. So I went to the council office and unlocked the door. The moment I opened it, I saw Aries sitting in the corner, hiding his head on his knees while he tried his best not to make any sound.

My heart sank for him, and I was filled with complete rage.

“Aries,” I called out, but Aries didn’t say anything.

I ran to him and kneeled in front of him so I could lift his head up. “Look at me,” I said, and Aries looked at me, and the tears in his eyes almost made me cry too. 

I couldn’t say anything. I wanted to comfort him, but I couldn’t.

“ Was this my fault? “ was what I thought.

“Dom…” Aries called out. He looked at me, and then he uttered, “I’m so scared.”

I instantly grabbed him and hugged him tightly, burying his head in my chest so my heartbeat could calm him. “It’s okay. We can explain everything. I can ask them to delete that video and explain that what they thought was wrong. I’ll explain everything, so you don’t have to worry.”

“Dom, some professors in this university know my dad in church. W-What if…what if they mention it to him? What if they showed him the video, and my father found out? I can’t do this, Dom. I just can’t.”

“He won’t find out,” I replied, even though I wasn’t certain about it myself. “But if he did, I’ll be here. What do you want me to do, Aries? Tell me, and I’ll do it. Do you want me to post something? Do you want me to say something? Do you want me to leave?”

Aries didn’t reply as he slowly looked up at me. But as our eyes met with each other, he grabbed my shoulders with his trembling hands. “ I want you to just hold me tight, “ he whispered.

And I did.

And I made sure I’d fight every monster who kept forcing him to come out of that closet.

end.

(33) Brother’s Worries

IT DIDN’T TAKE LONG for us to find the person who uploaded the video. With a little help from the student council, we found out that the culprit was a 2nd year named Tiffany, who was a friend of one of the pageant contestants from the Fine Arts department. I told Aries that he didn’t have to confront her, so Vicki and I went to her department by ourselves.

“Tiffany!” I called out after her class was over.

Tiffany, who was walking with her friends, turned to me and was immediately ecstatic to see me.

“Hi, Dom!” One of her friends cheerfully greeted me, so I smiled and waved at them before approaching Tiffany, Vicki following right behind me like a bodyguard. If shit were to happen, at least she’s here to help me handle it.

“You’re Tiffany, right? Can we talk to you privately?” I politely asked her, and Tiffany nodded her head before telling her friends to head off first without her. When she was finally alone, I took a deep breath and looked back at her seriously. “I know this might be a surprise, but the video you posted—”

“Oh, by the way, congratulations on winning the pageant. You were really amazing. No one came close,” she suddenly interrupted.

“W-Well, thank you. But I’m not—”

“If it’s about the video, I just couldn’t contain myself,” she then said with a giggle, almost like this was all just a game to her. “It was a really cute video too, and the comments were seriously positive; it’s insane! Well, it’s the 21st century, after all. It’s so uncool to be homophobic now. And besides, it was like a scene in the kdrama. It was so cute!” She exclaimed with a smile that made something inside me snap.

Vicki must have noticed it too because she reached out to touch my arm, probably to stop me from what I was about to do. But I only pushed it away as I looked back at this girl with complete anger.

“It’s fucking cute? The comments were positive? Should we thank you then for spreading so much love and positivity?” I angrily asked, and the bright smile on Tiffany’s face finally disappeared.

“You think you’re some kind of cupid? You think it’s awesome to write a narrative about people so they could obsess about their BL fantasy? This isn’t a fucking kdrama. The person in that video…Aries…he’s—” a stopped myself before I could even say anything that I shouldn’t.

Vicki reached out and patted my back, so I took a deep breath and calmed myself down before looking at Tiffany again. “Look, I know what your intentions were. I know that you didn’t mean any harm, but please, can you delete the video and release a statement that you made a mistake? Aries isn’t what you thought he was. He’s a very important person to me. But that relationship isn’t for you to put on display for the public to feast on. So, please, I’m begging you. Delete the video.”

Tiffany cried and apologized a hundred times for uploading the video and promised to do what I asked. She deleted the video, made a post saying that she read the situation wrong, and wrote the words, “ It’s wrong to assume people’s sexuality, “ which kinda mellowed the situation down.

People obviously didn’t buy most of that bullshit, even saying that doing all this made us guilty. While others left the hype and forgot all about it. It was old news, after all.

I’d say things went back to normal after two days, but it actually wasn’t. Because after that incident, Aries…ended up hanging out with Diane again. They ate lunch together, and after our tutoring sessions at the library, he’d drive her home. I honestly don’t know what Aries was thinking for doing this, but because of Diane, the rumors that Aries was gay completely left the face of the earth.

The allegations that Aries and I were a cute couple in real life eventually changed into Aries being a protective senior to his freshman partner. To be honest, I was glad, but deep down, I was hurt. But this pain wasn’t because Aries was desperately trying to look for ways to hide his identity. I was hurt because I was the very reason why he needed to hide it more desperately now.

And I was mad that I couldn’t do anything else but hold him.

“Shit, I left my wallet inside my locker,” Arthur says with a heavy sigh as we’re walking to the cafeteria to grab lunch.

“Then Vicki and I will save us a seat. Dom, you should accompany Art,” Justin then suggests.

I nod in reply, so Art and I head back to his locker to grab his wallet. Arthur and I are close, but in a group of friends, there’s this one person in the group that, if you’re alone with them, you suddenly become awkward with each other. Yeah, that’s what Art and I are. But I think most of the awkwardness comes from the fact that I’m in a…sexual relationship…with his brother.

Okay, if I say it like that, it sounds weirder.

“Hey, Art, about the video that went viral a couple of days ago. I hope you don’t talk about it with your brother anymore. Aries was just trying to save me from a terrible situation, so you don’t have to look at your brother weirdly because of it,” I bravely tell Art as the two of us walk alone in the long hallway.

Art’s still quiet as usual, but he suddenly stops walking to look at me.

“It didn’t matter to me,” Art says. “Whether he likes men, women, or whatever, it doesn’t matter to me. I just don’t want him to be sad anymore,” he tells me with such innocence that for a second, I didn’t see my friend, Art, but a concerned and worried little brother, Arthur.

“Art…”

“Aries is my big brother. He has always…and will always be, my big brother,” Art continues to say, his eyes suddenly teary. When he sees the look on my face, he immediately turns away to wipe his tears. “Shit, I wasn’t supposed to cry.”

I take a deep breath and give out a small smile as I reach out for my handkerchief so I can hand it over to him. Art takes the handkerchief and uses it to wipe his tears away, his ears turning red, probably because he’s embarrassed. I guess those two really are brothers. They have the same reaction when they’re shy about something.

“Hey, you wanna talk?” I asked, and before I knew it, Art and I were at an empty gym, playing basketball for who knows what reason. Maybe we just wanted to break the ice between us first before we actually started talking about the serious stuff.

I dribbled the ball and got ready to shoot, but Art stole the ball from me again before shooting it inside the basket with little effort.

“O-Okay…you win…” I say, panting heavily as Art catches the ball. “You’re way too good, man. And I thought playing with my neighbors at home made me a pro, but you’re different.”

Art laughs and passes the ball to me. He then walks towards the vending machine and buys two bottles of water. He hands me the other bottle, and then the two of us sit on the bleachers to rest.

“My brother, Apollo, was a varsity player in LU. When he realized I was tall like him, unlike Aries, he constantly asked me to play with him. I didn’t really want to play basketball, but if you play it all the time, I guess you just end up becoming good at it,” Art explains before chugging the water down.

I also drank the water and started removing my sweaty polo shirt, revealing the sando that I had on inside the polo.

“Your brother sounds pushy,” I manage to joke, and thankfully Art laughs and nods his head to surprisingly agree to it.

“He’s bossy, but he’s a good brother and a great father, too,” Art reveals.

“Wait, he already has a kid?”

“Yeah, Apo has a 3-year-old daughter named Athena. She’s a sweet and kind kid, just like her mom. The complete opposite of my brother,” Art says with a chuckle, but after a while, the smile on his face slowly disappears. “Apo works at my father’s company, and he’s expected to take over when my father retires. He’s like the perfect son…which could be the reason why Aries is always so hard on himself.”

“He’s pressured?”

“More than pressured,” Art corrects. “Because Apo is doing an amazing job with himself, my father expects the same thing from him. That’s why when Aries chose to be a teacher, my dad got so mad. He wanted him to take business, just like Apo, but Aries wasn’t interested. Aries almost didn’t get to enroll if it weren’t for my aunt.”

“Your aunt? Was it the Aunt Venus that you mentioned before?”

“That’s right, Aunt Venus. She’s a teacher too, and Aries is very close to her. She’s my father’s youngest sister, and she was…let’s say…a troubled child. But she always took care of Aries more than my father did,” Art says, now with a sadder expression on his face.

“You might not believe this, but Aries was a lot quieter than me,” he then says, which somehow surprised me, but at the same time, didn’t. Aries has always been a quiet person when he’s with me, and being quiet doesn’t always have to be a negative thing.

“Before he became this perfect student, Aries was a quiet guy. He read in his room in silence and would barely go out. But when he went to college, especially after he met Blaine, he started making a ton of friends. He went to parties, and I barely saw him at home. I thought he’d change for the better, but for some reason, he looked more miserable,” Art continues to share.

I wanted to ask more about Blaine since Art already mentioned it, but I knew this wasn’t a topic I should dive deeper into. I want to know more about him through Aries. And if Aries isn’t going to talk about him, then I’m not going to ask.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this, Dom, and I know you already have a lot on your plate right now, but I hope you can look after my brother,” Art suddenly says, surprising me because I never thought Art would say such a thing to me.

“Why me?”

“Aries was happier when Blaine was here, but when he left, he changed. But because of you, Dom, he comes home with a smile, and that’s enough for me. I don’t really know what you guys are, but I hope you can stay by his side even if he’s stubborn at times,” Art says, and for some reason, I felt like I was going to cry this time.

It almost felt like he was giving me his blessing, and I didn’t want to assume that.

“He really is stubborn, but that’s why I like your brother,” I tell him, letting it slip naturally. I don’t know if Art knew what that meant or if he thought of it as a completely different thing, but he didn’t say anything and just smiled, and that was the only reassurance that I needed from him.

“Anyway, we should head back. We literally missed lunch,” I say, patting Art’s back before standing from the bleachers. Art got up as well, but before we could head out of the gym, Art told me one last thing about his brother.

“He’s inviting Diane over for dinner tomorrow. It’s my mom’s birthday, and Aries is probably afraid that Dad saw the video, and he’s trying to think of ways how to minimize the damage,” he reveals, surprising me.

“He is?” I ask back, trying not to sound annoyed. “I mean, it’s not like I have anything to do with it. Whatever those two are, it shouldn’t concern me.”

“I’m not asking you to do anything to stop him from inviting her,” Art suddenly says, making me furrow my brows in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m asking you to come to our house for dinner too,” Art then offers. And when I tell you that I almost dropped on the floor in complete shock, I’m not even exaggerating. I was caught off guard. It never ever crossed my mind to ever visit the Buan residence.

“Don’t worry, I’m gonna invite Vicki and Justin too. If Aries is allowed to invite people, then I get to invite my friends over as well. Don’t worry, I won’t let Aries say anything,” Art explains.

“Are you sure that’s okay?”

“Come on. What’s the worse that could happen?”

…

“We’re actually here. Are you sure this is even the address?” I ask as I look out of the window of the taxi we’re in, staring at the massive house in front of us. It was like a modern house you’d see in architectural magazines. It was that crazy.

Justin, who’s in the passenger’s seat, looks at his phone again to check the address. “Yeah, this is the place. There’s no doubting it.”

“I should have worn something better,” I then said in a panic since Art told us to just wear whatever, so I decided to wear a plain polo shirt and a pair of jeans because I was also afraid that I’d end up overdressed.

“Anyway, we should just head out. I’ll pay for the fare,” Vicki offers, pulling a couple of bills from her purse before handing it over to the taxi driver.

The three of us got out of the cab right after. We then walk our way to the large gate and stare at it in awe. Right after, we looked at each other like three idiots and started pushing each other toward the doorbell. We were acting like high school students who were scared to knock at the faculty office.

“W-wait, why don’t we just call Art? Ask him to come out,” I then suggest, and Vicki and Justin look at me like I was the smartest person they’ve ever met.

Yup, we really are the three idiots.

“I’ll call him,” Vicki says, pulling her phone out to call Art.

While waiting, another car arrives and parks in front of us. I thought it would be someone we didn’t know, but when this insanely beautiful woman got out of the car, my jaw instantly dropped. And I could tell that Justin had the same reaction as I was, but his shock was completely different than mine.

“Diane,” I say as Diane Montecastro walks towards us in this silky beige dress and a basket of fruits.

This girl definitely knows what she’s doing. Props to her.

“Dom! I can’t believe you’re here too,” Diane says as she suddenly grabs me for a hug. I couldn’t really reject her, so I just hugged her back, awkwardly patting her back like we were best pals.

“Congratulations on winning the pageant. I couldn’t watch it because I had something to do, but I can’t believe you actually bagged the prize. I think it would sound so dramatic, but I’m so proud of you,” Diane says with such a sweet smile that I can’t even get annoyed by her.

God, why are you so unfair?

“Anyway, I’m glad Aries invited you too. Whenever I visit their house, I get a little awkward, so it’s great that I’m with someone I’m familiar with,” she then says. Not sure if she was saying the truth or if she was just bragging that she’s a regular here.

“It wasn’t Aries who invited me,” I corrected, even though I didn’t want to. “It was his brother, Arthur. We’re close friends of his.”

“Oh really?” Diane says in shock before turning to Justin and Vicki. “Now I get it. Not going to lie, but I found it strange that Aries would invite you after that video. It makes sense now that his brother actually asked you to come,” she then adds, and this time, I could sense the change of tone, almost like she was trying to bait me.

What’s going on?

What’s this woman trying to do?

“Why is it strange?” I ask back, changing my tone as well.

“Let’s be for real, Dom,” Diane says with a chuckle. She then walks past me, but before heading towards the gate, she pats my shoulder and whispers, “ We both know who he’ll be needing more in the end .“

Diane suddenly grips my shoulder before finally letting go and walking inside.

I touch my shoulder and look back at Diane in shock until she finally disappears in front of me. I didn’t know why, but my heart was suddenly racing. But then, as I reimagined that smirk on Diane’s face before she left, something hit me.

All this time…

She knew.

She always knew that Aries was gay.

And like a villain, she was using it like a kryptonite.

end.

(34) Two Different Worlds

“GUYS! YOU MADE IT!” Art excitedly said to us when he greeted us outside his house. “Most of the guests are here, but the dinner hasn’t started yet. So let’s head inside first so I can introduce you to my mom.”

“Thanks for having us,” Vicki said as Art opened the gate wider for us.

“Art, we always knew you were rich, but we didn’t expect that you were Henry Sy   rich,” Justin jokingly said, making Art laugh.

“Please, let’s not exaggerate.”

Justin and Vicki headed inside first, but I was still standing outside in complete shock after what I discovered about Aries’s ex. Art had to touch my shoulder and snap me out of it. “Dom, you alright?” He asked, and I smiled and nodded my head as we finally went inside as well.

“Sorry, we weren’t able to bring anything for your mom.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it.”

We got inside the Buan residence and were immediately welcomed by a dozen people I wasn’t familiar with. I also don’t want to be the one to judge here, but with one glance, you could tell that everyone here was living a comfortable life, or in layman’s terms, they were fucking rich. I could even tell it by the way they laughed. It’s ridiculous.

“Let me introduce you guys to the birthday celebrant,” Art said as he led us to the kitchen, where there were a ton of cakes lined up on the counter. “Mom, my friends just arrived.”

Mrs. Buan, who I recall is named Anastasia, was checking the dishes that were being prepared for tonight’s dinner. She was shorter than Art, around Aries’s height, but she looked incredible. She was just oozing with elegance and grace that for a second, I almost went down on my knee to bow to her.

“Hello, Mrs. Buan. Happy birthday,” Vicki greeted her first, and Mrs. Buan turned to us and immediately gave us this sweet motherly smile that made us feel so welcomed in an instant. She looked really kind too, but I couldn’t help but feel nervous. Besides Mrs. Buan being Art’s mom, this is also Aries’s mom. I felt a little ashamed to even look at her straight in the eyes, knowing full well what her son and I do together in private.

“Hello, it’s so nice to meet you all,” she greeted us back, leaning forward to give Vicki a beso-beso (Cheek to cheek kiss, which is a common greeting). And then she did the same for Justin too, who was acting all shy for the first time, almost making me laugh. She then turned to face me, but before she could give me a kiss, she suddenly looked at me with surprise.

“Oh my, you’re a handsome one,” she complimented, making me awkwardly laugh.

“T-Thank you, Mrs. Buan,” I replied, and it was her turn to laugh.

“And a gentleman too. What a wonderful boy. Your mother must have taught you well.”

“Thank you,” I replied again, and Mrs. Buan leaned to press her cheeks on mine.

“But Aunty Ana is fine. Arthur here doesn’t bring his friends home, so I’m really glad you guys came. The food will be served soon so make yourselves at home while waiting. I still have to check the other dishes,” Mrs. Bu…I mean, Aunt Ana said to us before patting Arthur’s head and walking away.

“Damn, Art, how old is your mom?” Justin immediately asked after Aunty Ana left. Art looked at Justin with narrow and suspicious eyes, but Justin immediately shook his head in defense. “I mean, not in a weird way. Come on, do you guys really think I just hit on every woman I see?”

“Yes,” Vicki, Art, and I said in unison, making Justin roll his eyes back. The three of us then laughed, and all Justin could do was accept the fact that even his friends thought he was a playboy.

“But to answer your question, my mom’s 58 years old. Now let’s sit near the pool area and wait there,” Art casually answered, surprising all of us.

“I don’t know what surprises me more. You guys have a pool area in your house, or your mom being 58 years old and looking extremely good for her age,” Vicki commented as Art led us outside.

In their backyard was this amazing pool area slash garden that I only get to see in movies. Even the resorts we go to don’t look as good as this one.

Art made us sit at the patio and left us there to grab drinks for us. While Vicki and Justin were talking about how big the house was and how they wanted to just jump in the pool, I couldn’t help but look around, staring at the guests who were talking amongst each other. I was looking for Aries, but he was nowhere to be seen. But that didn’t bother me much. What really bothered me was the fact that I couldn’t find Diane either.

Were they together?

Did Diane mention that I was here?

What are they even doing?

“You looking for him?” Art suddenly asked when he got back with three glasses of orange juice. Justin and Vicki took one for themselves while Art sat beside me and handed one for me as well.

“I was just wondering where Diane is. We saw her at the gate earlier,” I honestly explained before taking a sip of the juice.

Art looked annoyed, but he just turned away from me and looked at the pool before answering, “She probably went straight to Aries’s room again. My family pretty much knows her anyway, so I can’t really do anything about it.”

“Do you hate her?” Vicki then asked, joining in on the conversation.

“It’s not that I hate her. It’s just that…I don’t entirely like her,” Art answered, making Justin snort.

“Which basically means you hate her,” he said.

“It’s complicated,” Art replied, obviously wanting to change the subject.

“By the way, where’s your brothers?” I asked instead.

“Apo is still on his way, while Albie…well, he’s in his room with his nanny. During parties like this, my…my dad doesn’t want him to come out. He usually gets too excited around other people,” Art explained, somehow looking a little guilty.

If I remember correctly, Art mentioned that Albie is a special kid, which is why he decided to take SPEd as his college course. But hearing that his dad practically hides his younger son away from people, and he even pressures Aries to be like his eldest, I’m starting to have more reasons why I don’t want to meet him.

“Anyway, I can’t believe this is your house. It’s insane,” I said as I looked at the pool again, which reflected the moon above us.

Art started explaining that they moved here when Aries was born, and that’s when their business started booming. But while he was sharing their house’s history, I couldn’t help but feel ashamed of myself.

Aries had visited my house a couple of times, which, if you look at it, is actually as big as their living room. What did Aries feel when he first saw where I lived? Did he secretly make fun of me? Did he not care? Or did he pity me, just like what others would have thought if they saw my living condition?

Being here in this massive house made me realize how different our worlds really are. Other than the fact that Aries is a closeted gay, our worlds are like heaven and hell. Aries lives in a house like this, drives a fancy car, and doesn’t have to worry about how he’ll be able to eat for a month. I, on the other hand, live in a shitty house, get sandwiched and pickpocketed in a bus to school, and sell my body to earn money to pay for my mom’s hospital bills.

Am I blaming him for how my life is? Of course not.

But what on earth could I even offer him?

I can’t help but feel so insecure.

“ We both know who he’ll be needing more in the end, “ I remembered Diane whispering to me earlier. And once again, I felt shitty inside, almost like there was this dark entity trying to eat me alive.

“Dom,” Justin suddenly called out, snapping me back to my senses again.

I blinked and realized that the guests inside were welcoming someone. “My brother’s home,” Art told us, so we immediately got up from our seats as well.

I caught a glimpse of Apollo, the Buan family’s eldest son, who they consider the golden child. He was greeting the guests like some kind of politician with a woman who I can only assume is his wife and a daughter who was wearing the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen a kid wear.

After greeting everyone inside the house, the little girl ran to us and immediately gave Art a hug. “Uncle Arthur!” She said as Art gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Athena. You look very pretty tonight,” Art complimented, making the kid giggle. “By the way, these are your uncle’s friends. This is Vicki, Justin, and Dom.”

The three of us smiled at little Athena as she hid behind Art’s legs, just like what kids usually do when they meet new people. But while hiding behind his uncle, she still did her best to wave at us, which, I’m not gonna lie, was pretty adorable.

After waving at us, she started tugging Art’s shirt, making Art kneel down so she could whisper something to his ear. Art nodded his head, and right after, he turned to me and said, “Athena thinks you’re handsome.”

Justin, Vicki, and I were surprised by the sudden compliment. But before I could even say anything, Athena shyly ran off, bumping into a taller man who oozed so much charisma that I couldn’t help but back away.

“We just arrived, and my daughter’s already eyeing someone?” The man said, and Art immediately went to him to give him a hug.

“Apo,” Art greeted him, and all I could say as I looked at him was, “ Wow. “ You know the guys who are usually portrayed as hot single CEOs in romcoms? That was Apollo. He had that vibe in him that could just simply take your breath away.

“It’s been a while since you visited home. Mom’s starting to get mad,” Art stated, making Apollo chuckle. Right after, he turned to look at us, which instantly made us look timid.

“G-Good evening,” Vicki nervously greeted.

Apollo smiled and showed Vicki his hand, so Vicki shook it with two hands like she was shaking the hands of the president. “You guys must be the college friends my mom mentioned. It’s nice to meet you three. My name’s Apollo, but Apo is fine.”

“Vicki.”

“Justin,” Justin then introduced while shaking Apo’s hand.

“And I’m—”

“Dom, the guy who captured the hearts of both my mom and daughter,” Apo then interrupted, reaching out to shake my hand too.

“Please, I’m starting to feel like you guys are just pranking me,” I told him, making Apo laugh.

“I like you already,” he said before letting go of my hand and turning his head to Art. “Now, where’s our other brother? I haven’t seen him for a month, and he’s not even here to greet me?”

“He’s probably in his bedroom with Diane,” Art answered.

“Diane? Is she here? I thought those two broke up,” Apo wondered, and Art just shrugged his shoulder. “Well, it doesn’t really matter. When you’re young, you always go on and off with your college sweetheart. Just like my wife and I when we were still studying,” He then said with a chuckle.

“R-Right,” I awkwardly stated, trying my best not to sound pissed.

“Well, speaking of wife, my mom kidnapped her, so I better get the ransom ready. It was nice meeting you guys. Enjoy the party,” Apo stated, patting my shoulder before finally heading back inside with his daughter, Athena.

As soon as Art’s brother was gone, I grabbed my juice and finished it in one go, trying to calm myself down because I never thought meeting new people would be so nerve-racking.

“What’s with your family, Art? You’re all so…good-looking,” Justin stated, and Art just laughed, taking it as a compliment.

“I think I need to piss,” I then stated, putting the empty glass down on the table. “Art, where’s the restroom?”

“Oh, you remember where the kitchen is, right? Just turn to the left hallway. The door beside it is the restroom. You won’t miss it,” Art answered. “Do you want me to walk you there?”

“No, it’s fine. I can go on my own,”

I went back inside the house and tried my best to avoid the other guests because I didn’t want to have any unnecessary conversations with them. Thankfully I got to the restroom without any cliché situations happening to me.

Or so I thought.

I got to the restroom and tried opening the door, but the door was locked, and I realized someone was in it. So I waited for a while until my bladder couldn’t take it anymore.

“ Is the person inside taking a shit of Burj Kalifa ?“ I whispered to myself, looking around to see if there was another restroom nearby. When I couldn’t find one, I looked at the stairs and decided to head to the second floor in hopes to relieve myself.

While holding my piss in, I got to the second floor, which had a couple of closed doors. I looked around and tried opening one, making sure I didn’t accidentally open a bedroom. But I was smart when I did this because I noticed that the door to the restroom downstairs was different from the other doors, so when I found the same door on the second floor, I opened that. And as expected, it was a restroom.

I hurriedly went in and used the toilet with no worries. After washing my hands, like what other people should do more regularly, I opened the door and got ready to go out. But just as I was about to push the door open, I suddenly heard a ruckus outside.

“You don’t get to walk away from me again, Aries!” I heard Diane’s voice shout, immediately making me stop and cover my mouth so I wouldn’t make any sound.

“Enough…”

“You don’t get to say anything here, alright? You can’t just make me fall in love with you and tell me to break up when I’m already too deep. You’re being unfair!” Diane continued to say.

Judging by the sound of her voice, the two of them must be arguing.

What bad timing! What the fuck do I do?!

“I don’t love you, Diane. When are you going to understand that? When are you going to engrave that fact in your head?” I heard Aries say, and for some reason, that made my chest ache, too, almost like he was saying those words to me.

“You don’t know that.”

“When you said you were going to help me with the video, I agreed because I thought you genuinely cared, but I was wrong. You were expecting something out of this. You’ve always expected something from me, and I’m fucking sick and tired of it!” Aries then fired back, surprising me because I never heard him sound that angry before.

“You need me, Aries. I am the only one who can make you happy. I’m the only one who will make you the person your family has been wanting to have. You know this more than anyone,” Diane then answered, somehow making me feel angry this time.

Aries didn’t say anything anymore, and soon after, I heard Diane crying. I tried to peek through the gap, but I couldn’t.

“I don’t want to fight during mom’s birthday. I’ll talk to you again when you clear your head,” Diane then said, and then I heard her walking down the stairs.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and waited for something to happen. But when I finally peeked out of the door and saw that Aries was about to follow her downstairs, I immediately went out of the restroom and grabbed his arm, instantly making Aries stop.

Aries turned to me, and as soon as he saw my face, his eyes automatically widened in shock and disbelief.

“D-Dom? What are you doing here?” He asked, but before I could answer him, I looked at the open door and realized that it was his bedroom. So with my hand still holding onto his arm, I pulled him inside the room before closing the door shut and finally letting go of him.

“What’s going on? What on earth are you doing here?”

“You were going to follow Diane, weren’t you?” I asked him, and the question somehow took Aries by surprise because he wasn’t able to give me an immediate answer.

“Why were you going to follow her?” I asked again, and Aries looked away from me this time.

I took a deep breath and took a step closer to him.

“Don’t…” he said, but I didn’t listen.

I took a step, and then another, and then another until I was finally standing right in front of him, looking straight into his eyes as he pressed his back against the door.

“ We both know who he’ll be needing more in the end, “ I remembered Diane saying.

Those words were supposed to make me angry. It was supposed to make me push myself away from Aries because deep down, I knew that she was right. I had nothing to give Aries. At the end of it all, I’m not the one he’ll need.

But that wasn’t enough to stop me.

Diane might be confident that Aries needs her, but I’m confident too. Because whether you turn this world upside down or whether you lock him in his closet forever, Aries will want nothing more…than me.

“You can follow her, and I won’t stop you because you know that I’m not the type to force you to do anything you don’t want. But in five seconds, I’m going to kiss you. You can push me away and run off to her, or you can stay and kiss me back,” I told him, instantly making Aries’s ears turn red.

“ Five… “ I started counting as I slowly leaned closer to him.

“ Four… “

Aries placed his hand on my chest as I counted, “ Three. “

I waited for him to push me away. But as I reached number “ two, “ he grabbed my collar and pulled me closer to him.

I smirked as my lips were now only an inch away from him. “ One ,“ I finished counting, and Aries pressed his lips on me with no hesitation, connecting the two different worlds that the universe has desperately tried bridging.

end.

(35) One-sided



I PUSHED ARIES AGAINST the wall and continued to kiss him deeply. His eyes were closed, and his arms were around my neck as I held onto his waist. He tried rubbing himself against me, but while I still had my sense of reason, I pushed him away.

“Alright, this is enough for now,” I told him, and I could tell that Aries didn’t want to stop at all.

“ It’s fine, “ he whispered under his breath, leaning to kiss me again. If this were the Dom a few months ago, I would have honestly thrown myself at him and just let my animal instincts take over. But this wasn’t what I planned. I’m not gonna be the person to get Aries in trouble.

“It’s not fine. Look at me,” I said, grabbing him by the cheeks so our eyes could meet. “If you continue doing this, I’m going to fuck you so hard your entire family downstairs is going to hear it.”

My threat got to him because Aries finally let go of me before pushing me off him. “You seduce me like that and refuse me right after. You’re seriously annoying,” he complained as he walked towards his bed to remove his shirt so he could change to a better one.

While he was getting himself ready, I walked toward him and asked, “What were you and Diane talking about?”

“Do you really want to know?” He asked back while putting cologne on his wrist and neck.

I opened my mouth and got tempted to tell him yes, but I knew that it wasn’t my place to know anything about it, so I just took a deep breath and shook my head. Aries didn’t say anything anymore as he turned to look at me. He then approached me and started fixing my hair which was in a total mess. The small gesture instantly made my heart skip a beat, and I immediately forgot about the thing with Diane.

Maybe I shouldn’t have asked him to stop earlier.

No, Dom, control yourself. We’re in his house, for Pete’s sake, and his entire family is downstairs. You don’t want him to get in trouble because of your horniness.

“What are you doing here?” He suddenly asked while he continued to fix my hair. I even had to spread my legs a little so that he could reach me better.

“Art invited me over,” I answered. “Why? Do you not want me to be here?”

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s not like you broke in,” he answered back as he pulled his hands away from me. “And besides…“Aries paused and quickly looked away from me before whispering, “ I’m glad you’re here. “

“W-What did you just say?” I asked in shock as Aries’s ears started turning red.

“Whatever, we should head downstairs. Dad might arrive soon,” Aries said instead as he made his way to the door to escape, but I immediately grabbed his hand and pulled him towards me so he could face me again.

“Why are you like this when we’re alone?” I asked, and Aries didn’t say anything and just rolled his eyes back like he was annoyed at me. “Maybe we can go for a quicky?” I asked him next, and Aries punched my shoulder this time before finally pushing me away from him again.

“That thought has been way overdue,” Aries replied, and I pulled him closer to give him a quick kiss on the lips before letting go of him.

Aries scrunched his nose, making me laugh and lean forward to kiss him again.

“Alright, we should really get going.”

Aries and I went downstairs, and as soon as he appeared, all the guests immediately surrounded him as if he was some sort of celebrity. He automatically smiled at them and greeted them like how he always does in school when he’s Aries, the council president, and not the grumpy and hot-headed Aries that I normally know.

I looked back at him as he was with his family, and I couldn’t help but put a sad smile on my face as I looked at him from afar. This was the family that Aries was so afraid of. They’re the people who he’s willing to throw his real identity away so that he wouldn’t disappoint them. It made me sad because I could only imagine how suffocated he feels when he’s around them.

“There you are,” Justin suddenly called out as he appeared beside me, holding a cupcake. “I thought you got lost.”

“I did,” I honestly answered before looking at the cupcake. “And where the hell did you get that?”

“Art’s sister-in-law, Apo’s wife, baked these and gave some to us when you left. You should go have a taste,” Justin replied.

I glanced back at Aries as he was now being greeted by his older brother, Apo. I smiled at him, and then I looked back at Justin and nodded my head as we walked our way back to the pool area where Art and Vicki were waiting.

“Dom! You gotta taste these red velvet cupcakes! They’re amazing,” Vicki immediately shouted as soon as she saw me.

I laughed and joined my friends, grabbing a cupcake and taking a bite of it. Apparently, Vicki wasn’t overreacting because the cupcake was hella good. The moment I tasted it, I immediately remembered my mother. She would have liked this a lot.

“Anyway, what took you so long?” Vicki then asked before wiping the icing on the side of her mouth with a table napkin.

“I got lost, but I was able to relieve myself just in time,” I answered, leaving out the part where I also met up with Aries, and we ended up making out for a couple of minutes.

“Oh, Art, where can I have a glass of water?” Justin then asked.

“It’s in the kitchen. Let me get some for you.”

“No, it’s alright. Vicki and I will get it,” Justin answered instead, making Vicki pout because she didn’t want to move, but Justin grabbed her arm anyway and forced her up, leaving Art and me alone.

While I was finishing the cupcake, Art looked at me and suddenly asked, “How’s my brother? Did he and Diane fight again?”

“I think they were, but I wasn’t able to ask about it. It would have been awkward if I did,” I answered without even thinking about it, making Art chuckle. When I realized what I said, my eyes immediately widened in shock, and I looked at Art, ready to defend myself.

“I didn’t do anything stupid, I swear. I just so happened to find him when I was looking for the restroom,” I explained, and Art just laughed and shook his head.

“You’re acting like you got caught shoplifting,” he told me as he grabbed his drink to take a sip of it. “And don’t worry, I’m not scolding you or anything. I just noticed the cologne on you. It’s Aries’s favorite brand.”

I looked down at my shirt and sniffed it, realizing that the cologne that Aries put on earlier somehow transferred to me too. I guess this happened when I kissed him before we left his room.

Art just smiled. He looked like he didn’t really mind that Aries and I were together earlier. 

I sighed in relief as I looked around and noticed that all the guests were inside, still busy talking with the Buan brothers. I then looked up at the sky and saw the moon staring down at us. I don’t know what had gotten into me, but while I was staring at the sky, I told Arthur with a soft voice, “ I’m in love with your brother. “

The words just flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. Art didn’t answer, and I thought he would have this disappointed look on him. But when I looked back at him, Art had this smile on his face, almost like he was relieved.

“ I know, “ he whispered back.

My emotions got the best of me because as soon as I heard Art say those words, my eyes instantly became teary.

“I’m sorry,” I told him, and Art looked at me, and his eyes were as teary as mine.

“Don’t be,” he answered as he reached out to pat my shoulder.

The two of us just sat there in silence until Justin and Vicki got back with a pitcher of water.

“What’s with the atmosphere?” Vicki asked, but Art and I just looked at each other before laughing like idiots. Vicki and Justin looked at each other too with confusion on their faces, but they didn’t ask us about it anymore.

“Anyway, your mom told us that we should head back inside. I think she mentioned that your dad’s coming home?” Justin then informed us, and the expression on Art’s face instantly changed as he stood from his seat.

“Then let’s go.”

The four of us got inside, where the other guests were found. Aries was having a serious conversation with Apo and a few other people who I can only assume are their cousins, while Art, Vicki, Justin, and I were standing on the side, casually waiting for dinner to start.

After a couple of minutes, the man of the house finally made his appearance. Mr. Anthony Buan, the father of the Buan brothers, arrived with a bouquet of roses for his wife’s birthday. He was exactly how I pictured him to be. Tall, a little old, and someone with an insanely overwhelming aura. I understood in an instant why Aries was so afraid of him.

Mr. Anthony greeted everyone and gave the bouquet to his wife. The guests started to cheer as the couple kissed, and then it was time to take pictures. Art was called to join them, and then he and his brothers stood beside their parents, smiling as people took photos of them.

I stared at the picture-perfect family and felt sick for some reason.

“I’ll just smoke outside for a while,” I told Vicki, and Vicki nodded her head as I rushed out of the large house, my heart beating like crazy. I don’t know why, but I was mad. Maybe I was just jealous, even though I knew their family wasn’t as perfect as others might think it was. Maybe I’m just jealous that even though they’re not perfect, they’re complete and living a comfortable life. As an only child with a single mom, it just feels depressing somehow.

“ Thank god I brought these with me, “ I whispered to myself as I pulled a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from my pocket. I walked out of the gate and lit the cigarette so I could start smoking. But as soon as I got out, I saw Diane leaning against her car, smoking a cigarette too.

My instincts told me to run off so I wouldn’t end up in an awkward situation with her, but just before I could turn around, Diane spotted me and called out for me.

“Dom,” she said, and I sighed and walked towards her without any fuss. With the cigarette still in my mouth, I stood beside her, and the two of us didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes until she finally finished her stick.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” I said as the smoke escaped my mouth.

Diane chuckled and threw the stick on the floor before stepping on it. “Just a bad habit I picked up from my friends,” she said before taking a deep breath and looking up at the sky.

I didn’t know what to tell her, so I remained silent. But Diane wasn’t the type to remain silent. That wasn’t her. When you think of Diane Montecastro, you’d think beautiful and outspoken.

“When did you find out that he’s gay?” She suddenly asked me, catching me off guard because that wasn’t what I expected her to ask at all.

“I have no reason to answer you that,” I said, and Diane chuckled and grabbed another cigarette stick from her bag so she could start smoking again.

“I bet you just found out by chance,” she then revealed as she inhaled the smoke before letting it escape her mouth. “For me…he told me he was gay when he broke up with me.”

I didn’t say anything, but I immediately turned my head to her, surprised to hear about that fact because I never expected such an outcome. I honestly thought Diane just figured it out on her own. It never occurred to me that Aries actually told her himself.

“He called me one day and told me he had something important to say. That bastard didn’t even let me speak when he started telling me he was gay and that he didn’t want to hurt me any longer. What load of bullshit,” Diane said before laughing at herself, almost like she was recalling a hilarious event.

“I cried and told him that I didn’t agree to the breakup, but he still left and avoided me after that,” Diane continued to share. “So what if he’s gay? Did he expect me to hate him after that? Was that a new way of breaking up with people? That’s just ridiculous.

“But it’s not, though,” I immediately told her. “He knew he was only using you, and he knew you didn’t deserve that.”

“But I don’t care!” Diane suddenly answered, tossing her cigarette to the ground again so she could face me. “I don’t care if he uses me. As long as I can be with him…as long as I can stay by his side…I…I don’t—” Diane paused and started crying.

I didn’t know what to do, so I just took my handkerchief out and handed it over to her, but Diane didn’t accept it as she wiped her tears with her own hand. I then looked around to check if anyone was close by. I was afraid that someone would see us and overhear our conversation, so I took a deep breath and told her, “Let’s talk inside your car.”

To be honest, I don’t even know what I was thinking, but Diane and I actually ended up sitting inside her car, away from the people at the Buan’s residence.

Diane was sitting in the driver’s seat while I sat in the passenger seat like I always do. She continued wiping her tears, but after a while, she started speaking to me again. “During my first year in college, my mom got remarried to my stepdad. My stepdad’s a total asshole. Sometimes, when he’s drunk, he beats her up. Sometimes, he would stare at me weirdly with that disgusting look in his eyes,” Diane shared.

“Because of my family relationship, I was thirsty for love. I easily got into relationships, but all my boyfriends were shit and only wanted to fuck me. Life was just a bitch, but the only thing good about my life was when I went to college. I got recruited to join the pageant, and that’s where I met Aries,” Diane continued. “He was kind, and he treated me better than any of the men I met. And when I told him I liked him, he asked me if I wanted us to be together, and I was so happy.”

Before I knew it, Diane was crying again. I offered her the handkerchief for the second time, and thankfully she grabbed it to wipe her tears away.

“I love Aries. I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone else.”

“But do you think forcing yourself on him would make him love you back? Are you genuinely going to feel happy if you end up together, knowing that he doesn’t love you and just thinks you’re convenient for him? Diane, that’s not love. That’s torture,” I told her, not trying to sugarcoat anything because someone had to tell her these things no matter what.

“I know, god, I know,” Diane stated before blowing her nose on the handkerchief. She then looked back at me, her makeup now in a total mess. “I’m a fucking asshole. I know I am, but…love makes you do crazy things, right? You understand me, Dom, right?”

“No, I don’t understand, Diane. I’m sorry,” I said, and the sad look on Diane’s face instantly turned to an angry one.

“Fuck you, Dom,” she said.

“Fuck you too, Diane,” I replied.

The two of us turned away from each other and just looked out of the car’s window without saying a single thing. But after a while, Diane started laughing, and then I started laughing too, and now we were both two idiots laughing at each other inside a parked car.

Seriously, I can’t hate this woman. There’s just something about her that I can’t hate.

“So, when did you start liking him?” Diane then asked.

I never thought I’d be talking about these things with her, but here we are anyway.

“I think it was the moment I laid my eyes on him,” I stated, making Diane put her index finger inside her mouth so she could pretend like she was going to vomit.

“That’s so cheesy, man.”

“As if your story’s better. You don’t just fall in love with the man who’s nicest to you. Sixty percent of the time, they’re gay and find you pretty,” I told her, and Diane ended up laughing instantly, making me smile.

The two of us became quiet again after that, but then, like earlier, a sad expression appeared on Diane’s face.

“He dumped me again,” she revealed. “I tried like I always do, but he dumped me again. It hurts, but I’ve always known that I’ll never get him back. Or rather…he was never mine, to begin with.”

“What are you going to do about it then?” I asked, and Diane took a deep breath and closed her eyes before looking back at me.

“Give up, maybe? I don’t know. I guess it’s karma for torturing Aries for so long. I used his fear of his family against him. I’m a piece of shit,” Diane then stated.

“You are. A total villain,” I coldly agreed, but Diane didn’t look mad. Instead, she looked at me and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tight as if she knew something that I didn’t. Right after, she pulled me close and gave me a tight embrace. I was caught off guard, but I hugged her back anyway. I guess we both needed that hug. Two people…both in a one-sided love with someone.

“ Thanks, Dom, “ she whispered, and before I could even answer anything back, someone suddenly started knocking on the car’s window, startling both of us.

“Dom! Are you serious right now?!” Vicki asked outside the car, looking at us like she caught her husband with a mistress.

Diane and I were surprised to see her, but we ended up laughing as Diane pulled the window down.

“Can’t you see we’re making out?” Diane joked, surprising Vicki even more.

“Y-You and Dom? But I…but I thought…”

While Vicki was trying to figure out why a gay man like me was allegedly making out with someone like Diane, I stepped out of the car and ruffled Vicki’s hair, instantly making Vicki look back at me angrily.

“We were just talking,” I then explained.

“Whatever, Art’s been looking for you,” Vicki said before looking back at Diane. “And Aries is looking for you too. Everyone already started eating.”

“Thanks, but tell Aries that I’ll head back first. I don’t think I have a face to show him anymore,” she explained as she turned to me this time. “And Dom…thanks for being real with me.”

“My pleasure,” I replied. “If you need someone to talk to, especially about your family, you can always run to me. Just please, don’t fall in love with me too.”

Diane rolled her eyes back and showed me her middle finger, but then she smiled and finally closed the window. She looked at us again and nodded her head, and then she drove off. Leaving us and her unrequited love behind.

end.

(36) Atlas

“ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

Happy Birthday to you. Happy birthday, happy birthday…happy birthday to you ,“ the guests sang at the same time, clapping their hands as Aunty Ana blew the candles on another one of her cakes.

I was standing alone in the corner with a cold bottle of beer in my hand. I was alone because all my friends decided to leave me, which was fine since I wasn’t the type to worry about trivial things.

Arthur was forced to join his cousins, so he got dragged away before I could even say anything. Justin had to leave first because a senior of his invited him to a bar and told him he was with a couple of female freshmen students from a different department. Of course, knowing Justin, he physically couldn’t decline the offer and left without any second thought. Vicki, on the other hand, left right after Aunty Ana blew her first cake since her mom started calling her nonstop as soon as 9:00 PM struck. You might as well call her Cinderella with a much stricter godmother.

Now I don’t know why I’m still here, and to be honest, heading back home should be the most logical thing to do. But I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay here, in a place where I could steal glances at him.

Well, that would have been a great reason, but Aries was also nowhere to be found. I think I saw him with his father earlier, and then they just disappeared somewhere.

“Isn’t it a little depressing to be drinking alone?” Someone suddenly asked, making me turn my head to see Apollo, the oldest of the Buan siblings, approaching me with a bottle of beer for himself. “Domingo, right?” He then asked, and like a kid being asked by a total stranger, I swallowed the lump in my throat and awkwardly nodded my head.

Apo stood beside me and then showed me his drink, so I lifted my beer up so we could clank our bottles together. The two of us stood there, silently drinking as we watched the other guests enjoy the party.

“I apologize if Arthur had to leave you alone like this. Our cousins can be a little persistent, and Arthur’s not the type to hang out with them besides family parties. My wife’s also with the other wives, probably dissing us husbands for always working,” he said with a chuckle, making me laugh. Not because of the joke he made about the wives, but because I found it funny how someone like Apo ended up alone like I was in his own house.

“By the way, how’s Arthur doing in school? Are you in the same major?”

“No, I’m in the English Department, but Art’s been great in the classes we’re in together.”

“Oh, English? You’re like Aries’s old friend. What was his name again? I think it was—”

“Blaine,” I finished for him, instantly making Apo smile and nod his head to confirm it.

“Yeah, that’s right. Blaine de la Cruz, that’s the one,” Apo said with a bright smile before taking a sip of his drink. “Aries brought that guy here a couple of times, and my mom almost adopted him because of how nice he was to the family. He was a handsome kid and a real charmer. I’m glad he’s in the States now with his wife. Heard he has a kid now, too,” Apo says with a smile, which somehow made me feel a little jealous. To be spoken so highly like that by Aries’s brother feels a little degrading. I bet they’d ask Arthur to stop making friends with me the moment they find out I’m a table employee at a gay bar.

“He sounds amazing,” I said, trying my best not to sound bitter.

“He was. Apart from my mom, I think Aries felt a little sad when he left. But that’s how friends are, you know? They come and go. We just have to move on and accept the fact that they have their own lives and dreams to fulfill,” Apo stated, and I almost told him that Blaine was definitely more than just a friend to Aries, but I’m not drunk enough to start shit here and put Aries on a hot seat.

“Anyway, I shouldn’t be talking about someone who’s not even here,” Apo said, turning to look at me. “How about you, uhm…Dom. How are your parents? I mean, if it’s okay to ask.”

“Well, my dad died four years ago from lung cancer, while my mom…she’s at the hospital getting treated for her coronary heart disease,” I casually explained, and I could tell that Apo instantly regretted asking that question. I guess it’s not every day you get to interview someone with such an answer.

I thought he’d apologize like what others usually do when I mention my parents, but Apo didn’t say such a cliché line, just like Aries did when I first told him about it.

“How are you holding up then?” Apo surprisingly asked me, and the question didn’t sound forced at all. It didn’t sound like he asked me that question because he felt guilty for opening it up. He seemed like he was genuinely concerned. I guess despite the things I heard about their father, his sons grew up to be kind. Not to be judgemental or anything, but that’s definitely thanks to their mom.

“I want to say that I’m doing great, but we both know that I’d be lying if I did,” I honestly told him, and I don’t know why I was telling him that, but I did. “My dad was a shitty father, but he was a great husband, so I guess that was okay. The thing about my mom is terrible too, and I sometimes feel lost, but…I don’t know. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it gets a little—”

“Tiring?” Apo suddenly finished for me, and the reaction I gave made him chuckle. He then looked back at his family, who were happily eating the cake that Aunty Ana just blew earlier. “It would be silly to tell you that we have the same situation, but I at least know what you feel. Sometimes it just feels like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulder. I know exactly what that feels like, and it’s damn exhausting most of the time,” Apo explained, his words piercing through the very center of my heart.

I looked at Apo and stared at him with disbelief. He must have felt like this since he’s the eldest, and his parents’ expectation is a lot higher. This was the same man that Aries had always compared himself to. Conversations like these really put things in different perspectives.

“It’s funny too because my parents named me after the god Apollo, but I feel more like an Atlas,” he then said, making me laugh as it tickles my English Major humor.

“That’s a good one,” I said with a dimpled smile before taking a deep breath. “This might not mean anything, but I think you’re still doing a great job with the things you’ve accomplished so far,” I told him while showing him my beer bottle.

Apo laughed in response, and then the two of us clunked our bottles together again before having another drink. While the two of us were surprisingly enjoying each other’s company, someone suddenly approached us and snatched the bottle from my hand.

It was Aries.

“You should go home. It’s getting late, and you still have classes tomorrow,” Aries suddenly told me, surprising both Apo and me.

“Aries, you shouldn’t be mean to Arthur’s friend,” Apo said as he draped his arm around Aries’s shoulder, but Aries only pushed it away before snatching his bottle as well.

“You should stop drinking too. Athena’s already asleep, and your wife said you’re going home soon. You still have to drive them, so drink some water instead,” Aries stated, making Apo sigh like this was a normal occurrence.

“Sometimes I forget that I’m the oldest brother,” he complained before turning to me. “Looks like our conversation ends here, Dom. Thanks for sharing a drink with me. Next time, you should join us in one of our family outings. It would be fun.”

“Thank you,” I replied, and Apo patted my back before turning to Aries and pinching his cheeks. “Always so bossy,” he then told him, and Aries just pushed him away as Apo finally returned to his wife.

As soon as Apo was gone, Aries looked at me while I awkwardly scratched the back of my head, unsure of what to say. I thought he was just gonna leave, but after putting the bottles down, he got closer to me and said, “Come on. I’ll drive you home.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I’ll just—”

“I’m not asking you,” Aries replied, and I know him enough to know that when he starts acting like this, fighting with him will lead to nowhere.

“Fine, let me just say goodbye to Art and your mom,” I said, and Aries sighed and nodded his head.

I went to Arthur and instantly got mobbed by his cousins, but thanks to Aries, I was able to break free from them before thanking Art for even inviting me to such an intimate gathering with his family. I also got to thank Apo and his soft-spoken wife. They were definitely a beautiful couple.

After that, we went to the dining room where Aunty Ana was. She was drinking wine with a few of her friends, which Aries mentioned were members of the Homeowners Associations.

“It was so lovely to meet you, Dom. Please, you’re welcome to join us and visit anytime,” Aunty Ana says, reaching out to give me a warm hug, which was such a nice feeling because it reminded me of Mama.

“Happy birthday again, Aunty. I promise when I visit, I’ll bring you a gift this time,” I then told her after we broke free from the hug, and Aunty laughed and gently hit my shoulder in response.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she replied before turning to Aries. “Are you driving him back? You can use my car if you want. It’s already parked outside,” she then stated, which surprised me because I wasn’t expecting her to know that Aries was driving me. Did he tell her, or does Aries just drive all his friends home like this after a party?

“Where’s the keys?”

“It’s inside the bowl beside the telephone.”

 Aries looked at me again and said, “I’ll just get the keys. You should head out and wait there.”

I nodded my head and turned to Aries’s mom again to give her one final goodbye. After that, I walked towards the exit like Aries asked me to, but when I was about to reach for the door, someone suddenly appeared in front of me. It was none other than the man of the house, Mr. Anthony Buan.

“Oh, hello there. A friend of Aries?” He suddenly asked, and for some reason, I instantly felt tense. His presence was just so suffocating and intimidating. I couldn’t even look at him straight in the eyes.

“Uhm, I’m classmates with Arthur, but Aries is also my senior partner, so we know each other,” I answered, straightening my posture while I tried my best not to look too terrified of him.

“Is that so?”

“I-I’m Domingo M. Adlawan, by the way…sir…I mean…Mr. Anthony. Also, thank you for having me in your home,” I then told him, which almost made me slap myself because I definitely sounded like an idiot.

“Domingo M. Adlawan,” he repeated, making me gulp this time. “You heading out to smoke?” he then asked, which was a question that I wasn’t able to answer immediately because it was a question that I wasn’t expecting to hear from him.

“Well, I—”

“Dom,” Aries suddenly called out, walking towards me with the car keys in his hand, ignoring his father like he didn’t see him at all.

“Where are you two going?” Mr. Anthony asked.

Aries sighed and turned to his father. “I’m driving him home,” he answered.

“Driving him home? What is he, a girl?” He suddenly asked before laughing, but he eventually stopped when he realized that no one was laughing with him.

“Dom, let’s just go,” Aries told me with irritation present in his voice, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the house. When we got out, Dom flounced his way to his mother’s car and went inside before slamming the door shut.

I got inside as well and sat in the passenger’s seat before turning to him. “You okay?” I asked, and Aries took a deep breath and clenched the steering wheel to calm himself down. That short encounter with his father probably pissed him off. Or maybe the conversation he had with him earlier left him in a bad mood.

“Hey, Aries. You okay?” I asked again, reaching out to him to touch his shoulder.

Aries decided not to say anything, so I didn’t force him to open it up to me if he didn’t want to. That’s why when he drove me home, the two of us didn’t say a single word. I just left him alone with his thoughts, and I could tell that Aries wanted that because he slowly started looking less tense compared to earlier.

“And we’re here,” I said when we finally arrived at my house. I removed my seatbelt and looked at Aries. “Thank you for tonight,” I told him before stepping out of the car. But as soon as I closed the door, Aries pulled the window down and called out for me again.

“Dom,” he said. “Can I…can I stay here for the night?”

My eyes widened in an instant the moment I heard the question. Aries wasn’t the type to ask for such a thing. Something must have really happened.

“O-Of course. Yes…” I answered.

“Then let me just park the car and follow you there.”

“Okay.”

While Aries left to park his car, I rushed inside the house and started washing the dishes that I had left this morning. I then picked out the dirty clothes on the floor and threw them inside the laundry basket. I wasn’t expecting a visitor, let alone Aries, to stay over. If I did, I would have called Gelo and asked him to clean up for me. It’s the least he could do for always hanging out here whenever I’m in school.

“ He could have at least thrown the trash out, “ I complained.

While I arranged the scattered books at the living room table, Aries knocked on the door and removed his slippers before entering the house.

“Aries, come sit down first. Do you want some water, or do you want something else? Juice? coffee?” I asked as I walked towards the kitchen. But as I took a few steps, Aries suddenly grabbed me and hugged me from behind, resting his head on my back while his arms wrapped around me.

I took a deep breath and looked over my shoulder to give him a gentle kiss on his head. “ What’s wrong? “ I whispered, and Aries hugged me even tighter.

“Did someone say something to you? Are you not feeling well?” I then asked.

“My dad…” he started, and the mere mention of him instantly made me feel nervous. “He saw the video. Someone from church sent it to him,” he then revealed, instantly making my eyes widen in shock.

“W-what?”

“I told him that it was all a misunderstanding and the uploader just wanted attention. I told him that he was crazy to believe such a stupid video, but do you know what he said? He said, ’ You better make sure that it was really just a stupid video .’ He said it like some kind of threat. I can’t believe I ever thought for one second that there might be a chance that he’ll understand. I hate him…I fucking hate him,” Aries said as he hugged me even tighter.

I didn’t know what to tell him, so I just let him hug me until he finally pulled away. When he removed his arms around me, I turned to face him and leaned close to kiss his forehead before pulling him towards me again to hug him, letting his head rest on my chest while I patted his back.

“What do you want to do then? Hmm?”

“I just want to stay with you for the night,” he answered as he wrapped his arms around my neck. I then grabbed his legs and lifted him off the floor, carrying him to my bedroom while he rested his head on my shoulder. When we got to my room, I gently laid Aries down on the bed. I turned the electric fan on and was about to walk out of the room to wash up, but Aries grabbed my hand to stop me. “Where are you going? Sleep beside me.”

“I am. I’m just gonna clean myself up and—”

“No, it’s fine. Just come here.”

I sighed and removed my shirt instead before lying on the bed beside him, spreading my arm wide so he could use that as a pillow. “If you continue to act like this, I’ll end up spoiling you too much,” I told him as Aries moved closer to me.

“ I’m sorry.   I just love your smell. It smells sweet and familiar, “ he whispered, and I leaned toward him to give him a kiss, letting his tongue slide inside mine so he could taste me better. And when we pulled away from each other, I reached out and wiped his lips for him. 

“Maybe I really am starting to spoil you,” I said, and Aries looked away from me and started touching my chest with his index finger, sliding it down my skin like he was writing something down. 

“You can rest here as long as you want. But you have to tell your mom about it. Or maybe your brothers. They’re going to be worried, and I don’t want them to think you just left without saying anything,” I told him, and Aries looked out of the window instead.

“Waning Crescent phase,” he said, referring to the moon peeking outside.

“Aries…”

“I called Art when I was parking the car outside and told him I’m staying at a friend’s house for the night,” he then revealed, looking back to stare at me instead. “Are you worried that I’ll get in trouble?”

“I’m always worried about you,” I said without batting an eye, and Aries’s expression changed into something that was mixed with embarrassment and guilt.

The two of us stared at each other again, and Aries reached out to touch my face. He touched my eyes, my nose, and then my lips. Soon after, he leaned close to give me a soft kiss before snuggling his head on my chest like a puppy. He was acting so cute that I just wanted to cuddle him like this all day. After all, Aries isn’t the type to willingly act like this around anyone.

“You know, I like your house better. It feels more like a home,” he said while I wrapped my arm around him so I could hug him.

“I’d agree with you, but I feel like I’d be less depressed if I had a pool in my house instead,” I managed to joke, and Aries lifted his head and suddenly bit my shoulder, making me wince.

“It was a joke!” I defended, and Aries ignored my pain and went back to snuggle his head against me like I was a teddy bear.

“By the way, how’s your mom doing?” He then asked, and the question instantly made me smile because he still asked about her despite the things that were already in his head.

“ She’s doing good ,“ I whispered as I hugged Aries tighter, gently brushing his hair back with my fingers.

“ Can I visit her tomorrow ?“ He then whispered back.

“ Of course. She’d love tha t.“

And that’s the very thing I love about you too.

“Alright. You should go to sleep now,” I said to him instead.

 I stayed like that for a couple more minutes, patting his back until my eyes felt heavy. With our bodies pressed against each other and our hearts beating as one, I fell asleep with the man I loved in my arms, holding onto him tight so that he’d know he’ll always have a home with me that he can easily run to whenever he’s tired or scared.

But while I was embracing him, a sudden thought suddenly came to me. I thought that if I had the weight of the world on my shoulders like Atlas, I’d still carry Aries and the rest of the weight that comes with him just so he wouldn’t have to feel like the world is against him anymore. And maybe then, he’ll be able to admit out loud that he loves me too, just like how his eyes and his actions are able to scream it.

end.

(37) Morning Routine [m]

I WOKE UP the next day, surprised to see that Aries was still sleeping soundly beside me. I always thought that sleeping beside the person you liked would be like those you see in dramas, but it was nothing like that at all. My arm was aching, and Aries was beside me, looking like a hot mess, which I actually found extremely adorable.

After pulling Aries’s shirt down so his stomach wouldn’t be exposed anymore, I grabbed the blanket and gently placed it over him before slightly opening the window so the cool air could get in.

I wore a shirt and walked out of the room while stretching my arms. It was still 5:00 AM in the morning, and my first class would start at 7:30 AM. I went to the kitchen to heat some water because there was no way in hell I was going to be taking a bath this early with cold water. So while waiting for the water to boil, I sat down on the sofa and turned the television on to watch the news.

This has been a regular routine for me. Mama was always the early bird in the family, but when I started college, I started waking up early too, even without an alarm clock, because my neighbor’s roosters were enough to wake me. I started enjoying the solemn feeling of waking up at this hour, smelling the fresh pandesals near the bakery while moms stood outside, covering themselves with a towel as they talked about the latest gossip.

I started becoming a morning person too, but it looked like Aries was the complete opposite. You’d think that an honor student like him would wake up early and jog outside, but no, he was still snoring in my bedroom without a care in the world.

“ I’m glad he’s sleeping well, “ I whispered to myself.

The kettle started whistling soon after, so I got up and poured some on my cup first before running to the bathroom to put the hot water inside the bucket. I then turned the faucet on and ran back to the kitchen to make myself a hot cup of coffee.

“Should I buy something for Aries to eat?” I asked myself as I looked back at the television to watch the news about an accident near Makati city after a drunk driver went full racer on the highway.

“Dom! Dom!” A familiar voice then shouted from outside the house, making me sigh before taking a sip of my coffee.

The door swung open, revealing my childhood friend, Gelo, who was only wearing his boxers. He didn’t even have to say anything. I knew exactly why he was here. 

“Dom! Let me use your bathroom again! My sister’s taking too long, and I’m about to shit my pants!” Gelo shouted, running to the bathroom before I could even stop him.

“I have hot water on the blue bucket! Use the red one!” I shouted back as the bathroom door slammed shut, making me sigh again because this was such a normal occurrence. I guess this is what makes the morning routine special too.

After finishing my coffee, I went to the bathroom and started knocking on the door. “Gelo! I’m gonna be late, and my hot water’s gonna get cold! Get out already!” I angrily complained. And like it was some kind of magic word, Gelo came out with a satisfied look. I had to cover my nose because of the aftermath.

“Why do you always have to shit here?” I asked with my arms crossed.

“I like washing my ass with warm water,” he revealed, instantly making me widen my eyes before hitting him.

“You asshole! Did you use my hot water again?!” I asked in frustration, and Gelo just laughed and grabbed himself a glass of water before throwing himself on the sofa so he could watch the news too, which now talked about the smuggled onions that the police had to confiscate.

“Look at that. Our country is so poor we’re smuggling onions now,” Gelo commented while I boiled water for the second time.

While waiting for the kettle to whistle again, I sat beside Gelo on the sofa and watched the news with him, completely forgetting the fact that someone was sleeping in my bedroom.

“Oh yeah, I visited Mama yesterday and bought her some fruits. She’s doing pretty good,” Gelo told me, making me smile because I was glad that someone else besides me cared about Mama like that too.

“Anyway, how was that party you attended? Did you bring cake home?” He then asked while drinking the glass of water he stole from the kitchen.

“It was actually…great. I’ve never been to such a social gathering before, and I guess it was an interesting experience. My friend’s family was kind too. They made me feel welcome,” I answered, which was true except for the dad because I really felt something off with him when I spoke to him briefly. Even the “ What is he, a girl? “ comment was so off-putting. If given a chance, I would much rather not speak with him anymore.

“That’s cool. Maybe you can ask them to bring me too. I bet the food was amazing.”

“It actually was.”

While the two of us were talking about the party last night and how the red velvet cupcake I had was to die for, the door to my bedroom suddenly opened, revealing Aries, who had this adorable bedhead.

“Dom, are you always this loud in the morning?” Aries asked while scratching his eyes and yawning like a lost kid.

“Aries?!” Gelo instantly shouted in shock, immediately making Aries open his eyes wider to look at us.

“G-Gelo?!” Aries shouted back.

I sighed because I knew that I was gonna end up explaining the situation to my nosy childhood friend. And as I feared, when I turned to look at Gelo, he stared down at me like he was demanding an explanation.

“Aries stayed over the night,” I simply answered, which was obviously not a good enough answer for Gelo.

“In your bedroom? Even when I stay over, you let me sleep on the sofa without any pillow or blanket!” He then complained, making me massage my temple while Aries looked completely awkward and embarrassed.

“You know, I think it’s time for you to leave. You still have to drive your siblings to school, right? Now go,” I said as I stood from the sofa, grabbing Gelo’s hand so he could stand too.

“I already found it strange when you were with him at the hospital during the time Mama collapsed, but now I’m starting to get a little suspicious. What on earth are you two? What’s your relationship?” Gelo started asking, immediately making me drag him out of the house because I knew Gelo enough to know that this asshole would never let this go until he heard an answer.

And it’s not like I don’t want to answer him, either. It’s just that I don’t really know what to answer him, and I don’t want to pressure Aries into thinking he has to worry about our relationship status while he struggles to hide his identity from his parents. I can always wait until he’s ready.

“People who shit on other people’s houses don’t have the right to be nosy,” I told Gelo before slamming the door and locking it.

“You’ll eventually have to answer me, Dom! Nothing gets past the great Angelo Sanchez!” Gelo shamelessly shouted outside our house before finally taking his leave.

I sighed and massaged my temple again before turning to Aries, who had this confused look on his face. He was definitely confused about what the hell just happened, and I don’t even blame him. Gelo could be a handful at times, but I love that guy nonetheless. He’s literally my ride-or-die. A brother from another mother, like what others would refer to it.

“Sorry, did I wake you—” Before I could finish my sentence, the kettle suddenly started whistling, immediately making me run to the stove to turn it off. “Would you like some coffee?” I asked instead, and Aries rubbed his eyes again before answering, “You have black?”

I smiled and nodded my head, acting all happy just because I found out that Aries prefers black coffee in the morning, just like Mama does.

While I made the coffee for him, Aries sat at the dining table and stared at me. “Did you sleep well?” He asked.

“I think I should be the one asking you that question.”

“I’ve never slept soundly like that in years,” he answered, making me smile again.

“You should sleep here more often then,” I jokingly stated, placing the coffee that I made in front of him before taking a seat at the dining table as well. Aries thanked me for the coffee and blew on it a little before taking a sip.

“Your first class starts at 7:30, right?” Aries then asked.

“Yeah. How about you?”

“I actually don’t have classes on Wednesdays, but I go to school for the council,” Aries answered before turning to the t.v to watch the news.

I don’t know why, but I couldn’t help but smile as I looked at him. He was just sitting there watching the news and drinking the coffee I blended for him, but it made it look like we were an official couple. I thought others over-exaggerated it, but loving someone could really bring you such joy, even when they’re doing the most normal thing in the world.

“You might put a hole in me if you stare at me for too long,” Aries suddenly said, turning to me so our eyes could lock into each other.

“Can I kiss you?” I suddenly asked, the question naturally coming out of my mouth before I could even stop myself.

“But I haven’t brushed my teeth yet,” he then answered, which made me chuckle because he was more concerned about that than my actual question. I guess kissing him wasn’t a problem at all.

“You can do just a simple peck. I don’t mind,” I told him.

“Why do you always want to kiss me?”

“It’s because I like you,” I answered with no hesitation, suddenly making Aries look away from me.

I realized that what I said must have made him feel uncomfortable, so I quickly laughed and tried changing the subject. “I was just messing around. I should take a bath now before the water I boiled gets cold again.”

“You bathe with hot water?” He asked.

“Don’t you?”

“No. I like cold showers in the morning.”

Looks like that’s another fact that I now know about Aries. If this continues, I might start writing all these down so I wouldn’t end up forgetting even a single detail about him.

“Then I’ll just—”

“Wanna shower together?” Aries then asked, the question almost making me choke on air because I wasn’t expecting him to ask me such a thing.

“But I didn’t boil enough hot water,” I told him, and Aries grinned and answered, “Then let’s both shower with cold water.”

Shit, now I have to choose? Take a bath alone with hot water, or take a bath with Aries with a cold shower? Wait, who am I even kidding? I’d even bathe with ice if I have to if it means I get to share the bath with him.

“Let’s go,” I hurriedly said, and Aries laughed as he stood from his seat.

The two of us got inside the cramped bathroom and started removing our clothes. I removed my clothes first, while Aries followed right after. When I was now completely naked, I turned to Aries, who wasn’t even facing me. I got close to him, and then I realized his ears were actually turning red.

“How could you be the first to suggest this but then end up feeling shy?” I teased, and Aries just went to the shower area without even looking at me.

I wanted to tease him more, but then Aries turned the shower on and started taking a bath by himself. I smiled and got in with him, standing behind him while I slowly pressed myself close to his body so I could also share the water with him. As soon as the cold water touched my skin, my entire body just reacted. It was seriously freakin’ cold.

“T-The things I’m willing to do for you,” I said as I tried my best to adjust to the temperature.

My reaction probably made Aries feel less awkward because he finally turned around to face me. “Cold showers increase your blood circulation, immunity, and alertness. And it’s also a helpful stress reliever,” Aries explained.

I looked down at him and grabbed onto his nose to pinch it. “Did you seriously just make this scientific? And here I thought you just wanted us to be intimate?”

Aries annoyingly pushed my hands away. But then he moved closer to say, “But I guess we can be intimate too.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked back, grabbing him by the waist and pulling him close until our bodies touched. 

Aries fucking giggled as he draped his arms around my neck. “You remember the time my car broke down, and we had to stay at a motel?”

“How can I forget?”

“I actually got annoyed that you didn’t try to do anything that night.”

Wait…what?

“T-That night? Do you mean the night we ate porridge at Dada’s? The night we argued because I told you that you were too kind to people? The same night I actually went straight to bed because I didn’t want to be the asshole who would assume something was supposed to happen just because we were in a motel? That night?” I asked him with shock, and Aries started laughing out loud.

“Yes, that night.”

“But you didn’t say anything. I don’t want to be the guy who would suddenly go on top of you and assume we’re gonna make out. I’m only going to hold you if you tell me. You know that,” I said.

When Aries heard my explanation, he looked away from me again, his ears starting to turn red like earlier. With his arms still around my neck, he then explained, “B-But…I kinda like it when you’re a little…dominant. I like it when you’re aggressive with want you want to do with me. Other people always assume I’m the one to take charge, but with you—” Aries paused, and I instantly swallowed the lump in my throat because of what he said.

This bastard…

He will seriously be the death of me.

“Do you understand what you’re saying right now?” I asked him.

Aries slowly turned to me. And when our eyes met, he whispered, “ Yes. “

As soon as he said the word yes, I immediately pushed him against the wall, grabbing one of his legs and lifting it up while I pressed my cock against him. “ Then you better be prepared from now on ,“ I whispered close to his ear before turning the shower off so I could hear his voice echo inside the bathroom.

Aries was about to say something, but I immediately pressed my lips against him so he wouldn’t be able to speak. I kissed him, and Aries kissed me back, sliding his tongue inside so we could taste each other better.

“Let’s do a quickie because I don’t want to be late,” I said to him after the kiss, instantly making Aries laugh again.

While I was holding his leg up, I reached out for my mom’s aloe vera and smothered it on my fingers. After that, I snaked my way to Aries’s entrance before slowly pushing two fingers inside him, automatically making Aries bury his nails in my shoulders.

“ Tell me if it hurts, “ I whispered, pushing my fingers deeper.

While I fingered him, I started staring at his smooth neck. And before I knew it, I leaned towards it and started sucking on it, leaving a hickey that instantly made me grin. I’ve never done such a thing before, so I never knew that hickeys would look so sexy like that.

“Looks like you’re loosened up,” I said as I pulled my fingers away.

I massaged my cock with more aloe vera oil before positioning it at Aries’s entrance. I then looked up at Aries so I could stare at him. I smiled at him, and Aries smiled back while draping his arms around my neck again. With our eyes locked on each other, I slowly pushed myself inside him.

“You’re so tight, baby.”

Aries leaned his head against my chest while a moan escaped his mouth. I continued pushing myself inside him until I couldn’t go any deeper. Aries’s walls tightened so much that it made me release a low moan too.

“F-Fuck. You’re so big. You’re stretching me so much. It feels so fucking good,” Aries then said. 

“Shit, don’t say something so sexy. You’re gonna make me cum.”

I let Aries adjust to the size for a while, massaging his entrance with my free hand while my other hand still held onto his leg. When Aries started moving his hips, I knew that it was time for me to start thrusting inside him.

I pushed myself in and slowly pulled out before shoving it back in again. I was fucking Aries so hard that he was practically bouncing on my cock, his back sliding up and down on the wall while the small window above us started to fog up.

Aries moaned even louder as I increased my pace. After a few more thrusts, I quickly pulled away and immediately came at his abdomen. It would have been very troublesome if I wasn’t able to pull out on time and just came inside him.

I looked down at Aries’s cock, which was still hard. So with the cum on his abdomen, I used that to give him a quick hand job. After a few seconds, Aries’s body shuddered, and then he finally released his load on my hand.

The two of us started breathing heavily as I slowly put his leg down. And when I looked back at him, we instantly started laughing at each other like idiots. Aries then leaned close and gave me a quick kiss.

“How was it?” I asked.

“It was better,” he answered before giving me another kiss. “But it doesn’t matter. Whatever you do is good,” he then said, and I fell in love with him again like the first time I saw him at the freshman orientation.

The two of us didn’t say anything for a while, but as I was holding onto him, I leaned close to his ear and whispered, “ I like you, Aries. I really, really like you. “

Aries didn’t say anything back, and I knew that saying this might have scared him. I thought he would even push me away like he used to do before, but he didn’t. He didn’t push me away and just hugged me tighter. And I knew at that moment that this was his way of saying, “ I like you too. “ And his silence shouted more words than the noise that always kept him quiet.

• END -

(38) Don’t Apologize

THE EVENTS THAT HAPPENED this morning felt like it was all just a dream. After finishing off at the shower, Aries drove me to school, and then we parted ways without saying a single word. And I could tell that he didn’t say anything because he was feeling shy again, like some high schooler who got kissed on his first date.

“You only have five days before your exams. If you have anything to ask, my consultation hours are 5 to 6 PM. You can find me at my office. See you all next week,” Ms. Ortega says as she grabs her things and heads out of the classroom.

Everyone stands from their seats and starts leaving to grab lunch, while others head straight to the library to continue studying for the midterms next week.

“It almost felt like yesterday when we were making banners for the university pageant, and now here we are again, burying ourselves with books and notebooks that have more doodles than actual notes,” Vicki complains as she shoves her things inside her bag.

“Hey, Mr. LU, are you heading to the library, or are you coming with us to the cafeteria?” Justin then asks while I’m putting my things inside my bag as well. Right after, I wear my backpack and turn to Justin, who’s busy fixing his hair while staring at his reflection in the window. 

“I’ll come with you guys. I wasn’t able to eat breakfast, so I’m starving to death,” I answer.

“You guys didn’t eat anything when you left?” Art suddenly asks next, immediately making Vicki and Justin turn to look at him with furrowed brows. Art’s probably referring to Aries and me since Aries told me last night that he informed his brothers that he was staying over at my house.

“You guys?” Vicki then asks back, finally making Art realize what he just asked.

The two of us look at each other, mentally sending signals so we wouldn’t end up saying something that would put Aries on the spot.

“Last night, when you guys left, I told him about my childhood friend named Gelo, who usually stays at home with me since my mom’s in the hospital,” I try to casually explain like it wasn’t a big deal, and thankfully Art acted cool about it too, not like other people who would end up overacting during situations like this, and then act surprised on why they got caught. 

It’s your terrible acting, man. What did you expect?

“Is that so,” Justin says as he finally walks towards us. “You haven’t mentioned that friend of yours before, but is he the guy you’re usually with in your social media profile?”

“Yeah, that’s the one,” I answer with a relieved sigh, glad they didn’t find it suspicious. “He’s been my friend before I could even walk properly. He’s like a brother to me.”

“He sounds nice. You should introduce him to us sometimes,” Vicki then suggests, making me scratch my head to avoid answering the question because I know Gelo enough to predict that he’s gonna end up saying stupid shit. Of course, I trust my friends, but Gelo might accidentally mention Aries, and I don’t want any sort of trouble or misunderstanding.

“You know what, let’s stop talking about him. We should just head to the cafeteria because I’m freakin’ starving,” I say, dodging the question as I drape my arm around Vicki, forcing her out of the classroom as Art and Justin follow behind us.

The four of us walk our way to the cafeteria and head to our usual seats. A couple of students greeted me, which I guess is a perk for winning a university pageant. I’m also glad that no one mentioned that stupid video anymore, either. I guess people didn’t take it seriously to begin with, so they just completely forgot about it after a couple of days.

“One serving of sinigang and two cups of rice, and a bottle of water, please,” I say while holding onto my tray.

The aunt put the food I ordered on a plate and gently placed it on my tray, along with the bottle of water I also ordered. I then grab my money from my pocket and hand the bill to her. While waiting for my change, someone suddenly holds my shoulder, startling me.

I turn around and realize that it’s actually the seniors, Mark, Jesse, and of course, Aries.

I immediately swallow the lump in my throat when I spot Aries walking towards me. Images of what happened this morning start flashing before my eyes, and I can feel my cheeks burning up. But what’s even worse, Aries is wearing one of my T-shirts, which is a little big for him. I almost exploded at the mere sight of him.

“Hey, freshie! I wasn’t able to watch it, but congratulations on the pageant. Heard the others didn’t even come close,” Jesse, the council secretary and a close friend of Aries, says as she punches my shoulder like we’re best of friends.

“Jesse, stop bothering the kid,” Mark, the council vice president, then says before adjusting his glasses and glancing at me.

I don’t exactly know what to say, so I decide to just keep my mouth shut as Aries finally stops in front of us. I thought he’d at least say hi to me, but as I expected, Mr. Aries Buan decided to ignore me as he grabbed a tray for himself.

“Hey! Aries! Aren’t you going to greet your number 22?” Jesse then teases, and Aries sighs like he always does before turning to me. The two of us stare at each other for a quick second, but then Aries looks away without saying a word, surprising not just me but his friends too.

“Seriously, you’re only mean to your freshman partner. You should be a lot more gentle with him. Who knows, you might regret it after we graduate,” Jesse then says while Aries is now lining up to get his lunch.

“N-No, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it,” I say before turning to Aries with a soft smile.

I understand why Aries decided to ignore me, and I’m actually glad he’s not forcing himself to be chummy with me just because there’s something secretly going on between us. But as I got ready to leave, I looked back at Aries for one last time, and there I realized that his ears were actually red as a tomato. The sight of him made me smirk in an instant. I guess he remembered what happened between us this morning too.

“Don’t worry about it, Secretary Jesse. President Buan is actually kind to me and has been a very reliable senior,” I say, deciding to tease Aries a little because I know he’s definitely eavesdropping.

“Oh, hear that, Aries? Your partner is actually praising you. You’re so lucky,” Jesse says as she starts nudging Aries’s side.

“Jesse, if you don’t order your lunch now, I’m gonna lock the office and leave you alone outside to eat by yourself,” Aries then threatens, still not turning to look at me.

I try my best not to chuckle as Jesse immediately lines up with their friend Mark. She waves goodbye at me, so I wave goodbye too and grab my change before finally heading back to our table where Art is waiting.

“Finally, something delicious to eat,” I say as I place my tray on the table before sitting in front of Art. “Thanks for watching over our bags.”

“You can go ahead and eat. Vicki and Justin are still in line,” Art then answers, his eyes glued to the science book that he’s reading.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll wait for everyone so we can all eat together,” I answer.

I grab my notes and start reading them as well while we wait for the other two. But after a while, Art looks away from his textbook so he can ask, “How’s my brother? Dad was pretty pissed when he didn’t come home last night. Said he probably went to clubs again with his friends.

“He slept well,” I answer. “But…is Aries the type to stay out late to party at a club?”

“I don’t want to talk bad about him, but yeah, that’s Aries. Ever since his second year in college, he always went out to bars and clubs. Dad’s not the type to really get mad since he usually says that boys will be boys, but he was particularly mad about it last night. Probably because it was mom’s birthday,” Art explains, but I knew that that wasn’t the case at all. Their father got mad because he left with the guy who was in the viral video that suggested that his son was gay.

He probably hated seeing me with him.

“Art, this is a bit personal, and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but…” I pause and lean close to Art so no one would be able to hear us. “ Does your father actually know that Aries is gay? “

The question doesn’t come out as a shock to Art. He might have already assumed that I’d ask him such a question eventually, especially after meeting their father at the party last night,

“To be honest, no. I genuinely don’t think he does, or rather, if he did, he’s denying it. But if you ask me, I hope he really doesn’t know at all. It would have been too cruel.”

I couldn’t help but agree with what Arthur said. If he doesn’t know, then I guess it’s tolerable in a way. But if their father knew from the very beginning and still kept torturing Aries about it, then that’s an entirely different story. How could someone, especially a father, just watch their own son ruin themselves because they’ve been forcing themselves to be straight?

It’s frustrating, and I know exactly what that feels because…because Papa was the same too.

“What are you guys talking about? You both look serious,” Vicki suddenly asks when she and Justin got back with their and Arthur’s lunch.

“It’s nothing,” I answer with a fake smile. “Just take a seat so we can eat.”

Vicki sits beside Art while Justin sits beside me. While Vicki started talking about this movie she wanted us to watch together, I couldn’t help but glance back at Aries, who just finished ordering his food. He was smiling with his friends again as another group of students approached to greet him. And as he was smiling, I couldn’t help but sigh.

This is the guy I love. This is the guy who has been hiding from his family just so he wouldn’t let them down. There’s so much behind that smile, and I can tell that there’s so much going on in his head too. Sometimes I wonder, with every load he carries and every baggage he brings…

Do I still have a space in that tight closet he keeps locking himself in?

…

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” I say, patting Art and Vicki’s shoulder while Justin and I do a fist bump.

The four of us went our separate ways as I walked out the gate to catch a bus. But as I got ready to cross the street, a familiar car suddenly stopped in front of me. The driver pulls the window down, and a smile instantly appears on my face.

“Sorry, sir, I’m not a prostitute. You can pick up someone else instead,” I jokingly say,

“Funny. Now where do you think you’re going?” President Aries Buan asks with an annoyed expression, almost like I did something to piss him off even though we haven’t seen each other since lunch.

“I’m going home?” I ask instead of answering, and Aries sighs and removes the shades that he’s wearing to look straight at me.

“You told me that we’ll visit your mom today. I bought her some healthy snacks, so hop in and let’s go,” Aries suddenly explains as he shows me a plastic bag that contains a bunch of food he bought from the grocery store.

I can’t believe he remembered that. We briefly talked about it last night, so I thought he forgot about it.

“You could have at least messaged me, you know?” I answer as I open the door and hop inside the car, which is Aunt Ana’s car. Looks like Aries hasn’t gone back home yet.

When I closed the door and wore the seatbelt, Aries immediately drove off without saying a single thing. But as I got ready to ask him how he was feeling, he suddenly cut me off and asked first, “How was school?”

I don’t know why, but the moment I hear the question, I end up laughing out loud, and Aries immediately turns to me with an embarrassed look on his face.

“W-What’s so funny? I’m still your senior partner, you know? And if you forgot, we’re still working on your scholarship, which will already be announced on Friday. Have you been answering the modules I sent you? If you still need more notes, I can ask a friend of mine who’s an English major and—” Before Aries can even finish his sentence, I grab his hand and give it a gentle kiss, automatically making him stop talking.

“Thank you,” I tell him, and Aries’s cheeks turn red again. He looks back at the road but doesn’t pull his hand away from mine, so I intertwine our fingers together so we can hold each other during the drive.

“I finished the modules and sent them to your email earlier. I also don’t need more notes. The index cards you gave me were enough. And I also haven’t forgotten about the scholarship and have been trying my best to participate in class. Like what I said earlier, I have a very reliable senior partner, so I’m confident that I’ll be able to get it,” I say, squeezing Aries’s hand and making his ear turn red this time.  

“You’re seriously so annoying. You even said those embarrassing things to my friends at the cafeteria,” Aries then says, his personality going on an entire 360-degree turn from earlier. This is why I fall deeper and deeper in love with him every day. He tends to only show me this side of him when we’re alone.

It makes me want him for myself.

I should be the only person to see him like this. And I feel like little by little, during each passing day, I’m getting more possessive of him.

“By the way, do your friends…you know…know?” I ask, and Aries already knows what I meant by that.

“Mark doesn’t entirely know, but I think he has a hunch. He just doesn’t really want to talk about it with me, and that’s fine. He’s a quiet guy, and I understand if he feels awkward to talk about those things. But Jesse knows. I told her everything when we were still freshman students. It was during the time I was…”

Aries pauses his thoughts and slowly lets go of my hand. Based on the sad look on his face alone, I already know what he’s talking about.

“It’s during the time you were in love with Blaine, right? Your senior partner,” I say, turning to look at him.

Aries takes a deep breath and stops at a red light. He turns to me, and then he says, “Let’s not talk about someone you don’t want to talk about.”

“I don’t think I’m the one who doesn’t want to talk about him,” I reply, and Aries looks away from me again.

Apart from the time he first visited our house, the two of us never really mentioned anything about Blaine before. We never talked to him on a much deeper level, and Aries never really told me what Blaine’s role is in his life. But I’m not here to force him to tell me. In fact, I’d like it if we never talked about him at all. But we can’t because Blaine de la Cruz is a huge part of Aries’s past—a past where a huge part of him was left behind.

“If you don’t want to talk about him, then don’t,” I bluntly say.

“Then is it okay for you that we just pretend he never existed?” Aries asks back.

“Why are you asking me?”

“Dom…”

“Let’s not talk about it then,” I say as I turn away from him to look out of the window. Aries gets ready to say something, but the stop light turns green, and Aries is forced to drive again.

Domingo M. Adlawan, what are you doing now acting all difficult? Didn’t we already say that we can wait for Aries? We can wait for him until he’s ready to tell us how he really feels. We can tell him we like him every day until he fully understands how serious we are for him. Maybe then…just maybe…

“I’m sorry,” Aries suddenly says, and the sudden apology instantly annoyed me.

“Why are you apologizing now?”

“Because you’re the one who’s always adjusting and making things work,” Aries explains, making me look back at him again.

“Then do you pity me for it?” I ask back, and Aries tightens his grip on the steering wheel while his eyes are still glued to the road. Soon after, a tear fell from his eyes, and the moment I saw it, my chest tightened in an instant.

This is what I’m always afraid of. A relationship isn’t always going to be sweet. One day you feel like you can love them forever, and then the next thing you know, reality will come crashing down on you when you least expect it.

Aries and I aren’t officially together. I know we like each other; that has been established. But beyond like …everything’s just blank. We don’t have a label other than college partners. We fuck each other like it’s the last time we’re ever gonna hold each other, and then after that, we pretend like nothing happened.

I understand why Aries can’t openly tell me his feelings, but…

Was I too early?

Was I too early to love him?

Or perhaps I was too late?

“Stop the car,” I tell him, and Aries quickly wipes his tears away before parking it on the side of the road.

The two of us become quiet, but after a while, I turn to him and pull him towards me to give him a tight hug. Aries was surprised because he probably thought I was gonna walk out on him. But when I hugged him, he immediately started crying even more. “I’m sorry. I was being too mean,” I say as Aries rests his head on my shoulder like it was the default.

“ I’m not supposed to make you cry, “ I then whisper, slowly pulling away from him so I can look at his face better. I then pull out my handkerchief and wipe the tears away from his eyes and cheek. “When you cry like that, I feel like my universe is gonna explode.”

“You’re starting to hate me, don’t you?” Aries then asks, and my heart breaks for him again. He probably experienced this with the previous relationships he mentioned before. They probably let him go because of this too.

“Oh baby, no. There’s no way I’m going to hate you,” I quickly say, reaching out to touch his cheek. “I’m scared; I always am. But I told you, didn’t I? That we’ll be scared together. I’ll wait for you for as long as I can, but when I’m in doubt, please hold onto me too,” I say, and Aries reaches out to hold onto my hand that’s cupping his cheek. And then he swallows the lump in his throat and nods his head.

“You know, this isn’t supposed to turn so depressing,” I say as I take a deep breath to clear my head for a bit. “Don’t say sorry to me. Don’t worry about me and what I’m willing to do for you, okay? I’m fine, so you should think about yourself first. You’re not obligated to respond to me. Just stay as you are now, and reach to me when you’re ready,” I say, gently caressing my thumb on his cheek.

Aries stares at me, and I can tell that he wants to say something, but he doesn’t know how he’ll say it.

I take a deep breath and lean close so I can give him a gentle kiss on the lips instead. “ Don’t worry about it, okay? “ I whisper to him, and Aries presses his head on my forehead before closing his eyes.

“ Okay. “

After that conversation that could have ended badly, Aries and I didn’t talk about Blaine anymore, even though we never really got to talk about him, to begin with.

Times like these are when I feel like I’m being too much of a martyr. But what can I do? I’m in love with this closeted gay man. I love him to the point where I can’t even understand it. I love him to the point where I’m willing to sacrifice so much just so he won’t leave me. To be honest, if there’s someone who should apologize to me, it should be me.

No one can hurt me more than myself.

“Looks like we’re here,” I say as we drive close to the hospital where Mama is.

Aries parks the car and grabs the food he bought before stepping out. As Aries slams the door shut, I sigh and massage my temple. “ You’ve been a good boy Dom. Don’t slip now, “ I mumble to myself as I finally step out of the car as well.

“You ready?” I ask Aries, and Aries looks back at me and nods his head.

The two of us walk our way to the hospital. After talking to the nurse sitting at the counter and putting our names down on the logbook, Aries and I walk to the elevator and wait for it to open.

“Mama’s gonna be so happy to see you. Not gonna lie, you’re becoming his favorite son,” I tell him, and Aries chuckles.

That’s good. Looks like we’re okay now.

“That’s because I’m more attractive,” Aries suddenly replies, making me turn to him to pinch his nose.

“Oh yeah? Well, I’m taller,” I fire back, and Aries pushes me away and suddenly punches my shoulder.

The two of us start fighting each other while laughing like kids. But as soon as the elevator opens, we immediately stop and pretend like we aren’t doing anything. And as we wait for the people inside the elevator to step out, someone suddenly calls out to me.

“Sunday?” He asks, making me widen my eyes in shock.

I lift my head up and spot a very familiar boy standing in front of me. He was a customer at the Red Light Bar, and he just so happened to be the very first person who billed me out.

“Sed…”

end.

(39) Hospital Drama

SED, THE CUSTOMER WHO made me like working at the Red Light bar, was standing in front of me with an equally shocked expression on his face. He was wearing a doctor’s coat, and compared to the playful and sexy demeanor he shows at the bar, Sed looked professional and calm.

“Sed…” I say as a smile slowly appears on my face.

After the sexual harassment I got from that cop with the bible name, I swore to myself that I was never gonna be a table employee again and just stick to cleaning toilets. But after a couple of hard slaps of reality, I forced myself to go back, and Sed…he was the first person who tabled me after I returned as a T.E.

I was still unsure of the decision I had to make as a bar employee, but after talking to Sed, I learned to enjoy his company and the environment that I decided to be in. After a couple of drinks, he billed me out, and then we ended up making out at a dark alley. I was both consumed by lust and ecstasy that night, but at the same time, I was ashamed and guilty. Mostly because during the time I was with him, I was thinking of Aries.

Sed returned to the bar a couple more times, and each time, he would request me. So as you might guess, we made out a couple of times too. But after the first time I had sex with Aries, I rejected all the other bill-out requests that I got from my customers. 

But even if Sed and I never got into a physical relationship anymore, I couldn’t help but laugh awkwardly at the situation I practically made myself.

“I remember you mentioned that you’re a medical student. I didn’t expect that you’ll have your internship here, of all places,” I say as Sed steps out of the elevator.

“Yeah, it’s such a small world. But I’m so glad to see you, Sunday,” he excitedly says before turning to look at Aries. I don’t know why, but my instincts suddenly told me to move, almost like I didn’t want someone like Sed to look at Aries. So without even thinking about it, I grab Sed’s arm and force him to look back at me again.

“B-By the way, Sed, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you. You haven’t visited the…you know,” I say, not saying the bar out loud because I don’t want people to hear that one of their medical students actually frequents a gay bar. I think it would give him a bad rep.

“Oh yeah, I was just busy with med school, as you can see,” Sed says before giving out a bright smile. “Anyway, I’m glad to see you again. You look good as always, even in casual clothes.”

“No, don’t flatter me,” I quickly say because I’m starting to feel Aries staring back at me with killer intent.

“Well, I guess you’re busy, so we’ll just—”

“Are you visiting someone?” Sed then cuts off. “If you like, I can accompany you. Who knows, I might have already visited the patient, so I can share with you how they’re doing. I know that our relationship is a bit strange, but we’re in a hospital, and I assure you that I keep things professional here,” he then says, which I somehow appreciate.

I guess I’m the only one making things awkward here. After all, what happens in the Red Light Bar stays in the Red Light Bar. Sed is here as a doctor. I shouldn’t think about what we’ve done together, especially when we’re both aware that I was only doing my job as a Table Employee.

“I mean, if you don’t mind disclosing your name,” Sed then adds.

Oh yeah, he only knows me as Mr. Sunday.

“I’m visiting my mother. Her name is Yade Adlawan.”

“Ah! Ms. Yade! The teacher,” Sed then exclaims.

Looks like he does know her.

“What a coincidence. I was assigned to her last week,” he says, surprising me. “So it looks like you’re Domingo. She always talked about her son, that’s studying as a teacher in college. Said he’s handsome and hardworking, and now I know why. I’m sorry, Domingo, I didn’t want to accidentally know your background.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m actually feeling a little shy that she talked about me like that with other people,” I say with an awkward chuckle. “But don’t worry about it. Like what you said, I keep things professional in my workplace, so out here, I’m just a regular college student named Dom.”

“Dom,” he repeats before giving out another bright smile. “Well then, I’m Sedrick Chua. It’s nice to meet you,” Sed then introduces himself before showing me his hand.

I smile back and reach out for the handshake, but I immediately stop myself when I feel Aries tugging my shirt. I turn around and then realize that he has been glaring at me, so I swallow the lump in my throat and move a little to the side so Sed can finally see him.

Sed looks at Aries, and the moment their eyes meet, a smile appears on Aries’s face. Just like the smile he shows whenever he speaks to someone in school.

“Oh yeah, Sed, this is Aries. He’s my college senior,” I say, not sure if that’s the right label for it, but based on Aries’s reaction, it looks like it’s fine. He didn’t seem mad when I introduced him as such.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Aries Buan,” Aries says as the two of them shake their hands, making me take a deep breath because I never thought my two worlds would collide like this.

I don’t know why, but I can literally feel this weird tension between them, but most of that tension is actually coming from Aries. Is Aries actually jealous? Well, I can easily tell Sed that he’s my boyfriend, but I don’t think we’ve openly established that yet.

“Nice to meet you too, Aries. Now let’s head to your mom’s room. I bet she’ll be ecstatic to see you both.”

The three of us hop inside the elevator, and I can’t help but glance at both Aries and Sed, who both have this unsettling smiles on their faces.

“So you two are schoolmates? How’d you two become friends, if you don’t mind me asking?” Sed suddenly asks.

The elevator stops at our floor, and the door opens. The three of us got out together, and then I turned to Sed to answer his question. “In LU, there’s a tradition where a senior gets partnered with a freshman to help them adjust to college life. Aries is my partner.”

“Oh, I’ve heard of that. LU is actually famous for that tradition. I’m kinda jealous because it seems like the perfect gateway to flirt with a senior,” Sed says with a chuckle, making Aries and me look at each other awkwardly before immediately looking away.

“But all jokes aside, it’s great that you have a senior to guide you. In med school, people are too occupied to even care about the first years. Everyone’s just so busy. I get why they’re so uptight all the time, but still, it’s not so bad to loosen up a little,” Sed casually explains before turning to look at us.

If I remember correctly, Sedrick’s parents forced him to become a doctor. I’m not saying he’s not taking this seriously, but I guess his drive is just different from others, so he tends to take this a little lighter than the rest.

“Here we are…”

When we arrive at the room, Sed enters first, and then Aries and I follow behind him.

“Ms. Yade, someone’s here to visit.”

When we entered the room, Mama was busy watching her favorite drama on the television, but as soon as she saw us, she immediately ignored his favorite leading man to happily greet us with a bright smile that instantly made all my worries disappear.

“Aries! You’re here!” Mama greets him first, making me sigh and roll my eyes while Aries happily walks to her to give her a hug. I never thought I’d see the day when Mama is more glad to see someone else other than me.

“You’re looking well, Aunty Yade,” Aries says as he hands her the snack he bought. “You can eat this when you’re hungry. I made my research, and these are good for the heart. Just make sure to drink sufficient water after.”

“Oh dear, you’re always so caring. Thank you.”

“Excuse me, I’m still here,” I then say as I stand beside Aries. Mama frowns at the sight of me, but then she reaches out and starts pinching my cheeks, instantly making me start whining like a kid.

“And you…how’s school? Have you been studying well? Are you still attending classes?”

“M-Ma, what do you think of me, a delinquent? Of course, I’m doing well. I’m an Adlawan. Before you know it, I might even become a Dean’s Lister,” I tell her, and Mama finally lets go of me before giving out a smile.

“That’s good,” she says before turning to Sed. “Doctor Chua, I’m glad you’re here. This is my son that I’ve been talking about. He’s handsome, isn’t he?”

Oh shit, I totally forgot to tell Sed that Mama doesn’t know I work at a gay bar. Maybe I should have briefed him first and then—

“I met this handsome man in the lobby, but I didn’t know he was your son. I guess you weren’t bluffing, Ms. Yade,” Sed suddenly says, almost making me cry because I wasn’t expecting him to back me up like that. He really is an angel.

“We met downstairs, but I’m glad to finally meet you. Domingo, right?” Sed naturally asks, almost making the hair on my skin stand because of how good he was with this.

“Nice to meet you, doctor Chua,” I greet him back, reaching out to finally shake his hand.

“Anyway, Mr. Domingo, can I talk to you outside for a bit so I can tell you about your mom’s condition? I’m sure your friend can accompany her for a little while,” Sed then says, and Mama looks at us and nods her head, giving us permission to leave.

So Sed opens the door for me as we head out of the room to talk privately. 

“According to her previous records, Ms. Yade seems to be doing extremely well. She only needed a good rest, and she’s been taking the medicines well. We’ve also been monitoring her, and it seems like she’ll be able to go back home by Friday,” Sed reveals, instantly making my eyes widen in shock.

“Wait, are you serious?” I ask, and Sed smiles and nods his head.

“Yes. But of course, we recommend she stays at home for a couple more weeks, maybe even a month. With the working environment that she’s in as a public teacher, it’s not recommendable that she starts working again,” Sed explains further, making me sigh because I know that Mama would definitely hate that news. She’s a teacher by vocation more than a profession. If she hated teaching, she wouldn’t have gotten that sick to the point of hospitalization.

“If you need further details, as well as the records of the results of some tests we had with her, you can speak with her doctor, doctor Martinez. I can call him if you want.”

“Thanks, Sed. I mean, doctor Chua.”

Sed laughs and then slaps my back, but afterward, he sighs and puts his hands inside his pocket. “It’s really good to see you, Sunday. It really is. Out of all the private hospitals you can be in, our worlds collided here,” he then says.

“Thanks for lying to my mom about the job. I appreciate it.”

“Don’t worry. I know what you’re going through. Sometimes we do things our parents would hate, but that’s just how life is. We’re their kids, so we’re bound to be rebellious sometimes,” Sed says before taking a deep breath.

“I guess you’re right.”

“You know, this might sound ridiculous to you, but I really am thankful that I met you at that bar. I had no joy left in me, but meeting you sparked a dying light. You were kind, and you were a breath of fresh air. Simply put…you were real, and even without fully knowing who you were, you saw right through me and saw me as me. The person you love must be very lucky,” Sed then says, leaving me speechless because I never heard someone say such a thing about me.

“You’re a good man too, Sed. You don’t know how you influenced me, too,” I say as I turn to look at him. The two of us stared at each other for a while, but I immediately turned away from him because I felt like I was cheating on Aries if I stared for too long.

“I don’t know about that, Dom. I don’t think I’m a good man, but still, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Anyway, I know I’m still an intern, but if there’s some sort of medical emergency, don’t be afraid to call me,” Sed then says as he hands me a calling card. “And don’t worry, I’m not flirting with you or anything. I can literally feel your boyfriend intensely staring at me since earlier. I’m starting to get scared.”

I got startled by Sed’s assumption and got ready to correct him, but instead, I smiled and let it be. At least someone out there genuinely thinks we’re together. Let this be one of the selfish things I can do for myself.

“Anyway, shall we go back?” Sed then asks.

I nodded my head and got ready to head back inside the room, but someone suddenly called out to Sed, making both of us stop to turn around.

“Dr. Chua,” a man says as he approaches us, a female nurse following behind him. Based on his appearance, he’s definitely older than us, probably around his late forties. “Have you checked on the patient in room 127?”

“Yes, Dr. Martinez. I sent my report to you earlier,” Sed then says, suddenly looking tense. I guess this is the doctor who handles him. Wait, now that I think about it, didn’t Sed mention that the doctor who handles my mom is called Dr. Martinez?

“Hello, doctor. I think we just met, but I’m Yade Adlawan’s son,” I say, and the man Sed referred to as Dr. Martinez turns to me with surprise. “Oh, you’re Ms. Yade’s son? Looks like she wasn’t lying when she said you were very handsome.”

Seriously Mama, why are you embarrassing me like this?

“Anyway, did you hear from Dr. Chua about her condition?

“Yes, and I’d like to thank you for taking care of her,” I say, making him smile.

“Don’t worry about it. We’re just doing our jobs,” he says before turning to Sed. “Just in time, Ms. Yade is about to take her medicine. Let’s head inside so I can also check on her.”

Sed doesn’t say anything as the four of us enter the room. Mama’s face brightened again when she saw Dr. Martinez and the nurse. Sed stood just a few inches behind him while Aries walked back to me so he could stand beside me.

“Please tell me you two weren’t backstabbing me,” I jokingly tell Aries.

“That’s a secret,” he answers, making me nudge him with my elbow.

The two of us try not to laugh as Dr. Martinez checks on my mom. Right after, he looks at me and says, “Looks like your mother is back in great shape. She’ll be able to discharge soon.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Mama and I say in unison, making him smile. Dr. Martinez then turns to Aries and smiles in his direction too.

“I’m sorry I haven’t properly introduced myself yet, but I’m Gregory Martinez. I’m a resident doctor in this hospital, and I was assigned to your mother when she got transferred here,” Dr. Martinez introduced himself before shaking my and Aries’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too, doc,” Aries then says.

While Dr. Martinez chatted with Mama again, I couldn’t help but furrow my brows in confusion, almost like I heard that name somewhere, but I just couldn’t entirely remember where I heard it.

Gregory Martinez…

Gregory…

Greg…

“ So, how was it? Did you put on a condom ?“ I suddenly remember Jack asking me on the night I first met Sed at the Red Light Bar.

“ N-no, we didn’t do anything like that. We were making out when someone suddenly called him. Sed stopped in an instant and left before thanking me ,“ I then explained.

“ That’s probably Greg. His boyfriend ,“ Jack then revealed, and then my entire body stiffened.

Wait, is this Greg?! Is this the boyfriend everyone was talking about at the bar? Damn, I didn’t know Sed preferred older guys. Not gonna lie, he even looks like a family man, so maybe I…

I pause and slowly look at his fingers. And there, right there on his ring finger, was a wedding ring.

My eyes instantly widen in shock.

Holy shit, Sed, did you actually hook up with a married doctor?! What in the telenovela is this?! And here I thought these things don’t happen in real life. What do I do? Should I just stay calm? Wait, what am I thinking? Of course I should just stay calm!

I stare at Greg for a while before glancing at Sed, who obviously looks super tense. After that, I turned to Aries, who was looking at me with furrowed brows. I don’t know if I was sending him some sort of mental signals, but Aries turns to Dr. Martinez too, and then to Sed. Right after, he looks back at me, his eyes wide in shock now as well.

Looks like he actually got the signal.

“I guess that’s it. We should head out now to give them privacy,” Dr. Martinez suddenly says after they gave my mother her medicine.

“Oh, no, we’re heading out too so Mama can properly rest,” I then say as I rush to Mama’s side to give her a gentle kiss on her forehead. “You heard what the doctor said, right? You can be discharged soon, so while you’re still here, rest well and listen to the doctors.”

“You’re acting more like a parent again,” Mama replies as she reaches out to pat my shoulder. “Study well, and don’t forget to eat your meals.”

“Okay,” I say, leaning close to give her another kiss on her head, “ Love you, mama. “

“ Love you too, “ she whispers back.

Aries then approaches her and gives her a tight hug as well.

“Don’t forget what I told you, okay?” Mama then says, making me furrow my brows in confusion. But Aries just smiles and nods her head before turning around so we can finally head out of the room.

Once we got out, I thanked Doctor Martinez as he left to check on another patient. We also thanked Sed, but before we could even leave, Sed stopped us. The three of us looked at each other and didn’t say a word, but I could already tell what he was thinking.

“Shall we talk somewhere private?”

…

“I met him when I was in my second year in med school,” Sed answers as the smoke from his cigarettes escapes from his mouth.

The three of us were at the hospital rooftop. Sed realized that we instantly knew what his relationship was with the other doctor with just one glance, so he asked us to smoke with him, so here we are now.

“He was one of our professors, and you know, sometimes we start crushing on professors because we think they’re mature. I guess with my family issues, I was attracted to how he spoke about his family, his ambition…everything,” Sed explains further.

“How did you end up in a relationship?” I then ask before inhaling the smoke from my cigarette.

“It was during one of our after-parties. I got a little drunk, and then as the kind doctor that he is, he offered to drive me home. Long story short, I seduced him, he gave in, and now here we are,” Sed answers, and I can tell that he’s not proud of how things went.

Aries and I glance at each other before looking back at Sed. “He’s married, isn’t he?” Aries finally asks, and Sed falls quiet. He doesn’t say anything for a while and finishes his cigarette before turning away from us so he can stare at the city lights. After a while, he takes a deep breath and answers, “Married for twelve years with two kids.”

Aries and I glanced at each other again, and this time, it was my turn to speak.

“You know that what you’re doing is wrong, right?” I ask him, and a tear streams down from Sed’s eyes as the smoke escapes his mouth.

“After the first night we had sex, I avoided him because I sobered up and realized how fucked up everything was. I avoided him like the plague, but he kept coming back. He told me I made him feel alive—that he was growing tired of his wife, who only kept nagging at him. I knew it was wrong to continue…but we did.

We were fooling his wife, and I even met his kids, and they were just the sweetest. I tried breaking up with him, but we ended up in the same spot. He says he needs me and begs me not to leave him, and I come crawling back to him like a fucking idiot,“ Sed shares to us, and all I can do is take a deep breath before reaching out to touch his shoulder.

“Sed…” I call out, and Sed finishes his cigarette before turning to look at me. “You know what we’re already going to say, right?” I tell him, and Sed looks down and nods his head.

“As much as it’s nice to say that he’s the older one, he should know better. It’s also important to point out that you’re not a kid, either. You’re breaking up a family, Sed. You’re taking away the father of two kids and a husband of an unknowing wife. You’re just as a bad guy as him, maybe even worse,” I bluntly say. Aries tried to stop me, but I didn’t want to sugarcoat it. I know I may not even be in the position to say this, but someone has to tell him. It’s only gonna end up hurting him more.

“Do you genuinely think you’re in love with each other? Then tell him to end it with his wife. If he can’t, then you already know the answer. Break up with him. You deserve better,” I then say.

Sed becomes quiet, and then he starts crying. Aries doesn’t exactly know what to say, but he reaches out to pat Sed’s back to comfort him. While Sed continues to cry his eyes out from a mistake he chose to do himself, I finished my cigarette and threw it in the bin before telling him, “I’m sorry if I’m a little too aggressive when it comes to these things. My dad…he cheated on Mama when I was nine.”

Sed and Aries immediately looked at me in shock, surprised that I even shared this with them. I don’t think I ever shared this with anyone else, either, except for Gelo.

“It was a younger woman if I recall. It broke Mama’s heart when she found out, and the hurt in her eyes…I just couldn’t take it. As a kid, that moment scarred me. Mama and Papa didn’t break up, but things were never the same. So please, Sed, do what’s right.”

After our conversation with Sed, Aries and I finally left the hospital. It wasn’t our intention to be caught by any sort of hospital drama, but we did. But I guess after encountering such a thing. It helped me put a lot of things in perspective.

“You know, after hearing about Sed and Greg, I think our relationship isn’t as complicated as I thought it was,” I say, and Aries, who’s driving me home, glances at me and laughs.

“I guess you’re right,” he answers, and I turn to look out of the window, staring at the people that we drove past.

The two of us became quiet. But as the silence consumed us, and as the moon stood as a witness, I took a deep breath and finally asked the question both of us kept avoiding. 

“Aries…what are we?”

end.

(40) Curse you, Silence

THE ATMOSPHERE AROUND US instantly became quiet. The kind of quiet that’s suffocating and awkward, which I believe is the worse kind. Aries doesn’t say anything to me, so I can’t think of any follow-up questions or statements anymore.

Did I ask this question way too early in the relationship? Should I have waited just a little longer before asking it?

I guess after the situation with Sed and Doctor Martinez, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own relationship with Aries. I know I already told him that he shouldn’t worry about me, but here I am now, pressuring him to put a label between us like it’s a life-and-death situation.

Alright, I have to change the subject now before we end up fighting again.

“You don’t have to answer. I was just—”

“What do you think we are?” Aries then cuts off, the question catching me off guard.

I can’t believe this man. He went full teacher on me with the Socratic Method. How can he just answer me with another question, which now puts me on the spot? He’s too good with this. How many people have even asked him the same question for him to be ready with this perfect response?

“What do I think we are?” I ask back while Aries still focuses his eyes on the road. “Well, for starters, we have amazing sex. We go out together. We find comfort with each other. My mom likes you. Your mom kinda likes me; I’m not sure. But if we add these things together, I think the answer is clear.”

I turn to Aries to check his reaction, but he doesn’t show anything. He’s obviously thinking about what to say next. So while waiting for his response, I turn away from him again and look out the window to distract myself. I wasn’t even able to realize that my heart had been beating faster than normal, and I was already bouncing my leg up and down like a kid waiting for the doctor.

“I’ll drop you at your house first so you can rest. My mother’s probably worried about me too,” Aries says instead, and I immediately sigh in disappointment.

“Whatever you want,” I reply, trying not to sound like I’m affected by his reply, regretting the fact that I shouldn’t have asked that stupid question because it ended up hurting me more than I intended it to.

…

“Dom!” Vicki suddenly shouts the moment I arrive at the classroom with an obvious frown on my face.

It’s been two days since Aries and I visited Mama, and it’s also been two days since we had that serious conversation in the car. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was a little angry at him, but most of that anger was directed towards myself. I should have known not to ask such a thing, especially when I told him that he shouldn’t worry about me. I’m being a total hypocrite for even opening it up.

That night was a mess, and the two of us were too prideful and stubborn to make the first move to even just send a simple message. That’s why we haven’t seen or spoken to each other ever since. Now that I think about it, I don’t even have his actual phone number. We’ve only been messaging each other through our social media accounts all this time.

Damn, our relationship really is as bad as I feared.

“What are you shouting about this early in the morning?” I ask Vicki as I throw my backpack in my chair. I got ready to take a seat, but then Vicki, Art, and Justin looked at me like I was stupid.

“Haven’t you seen it yet?” Art then asks.

“Seen what?”

“Idiot, the scholarship announcement is today, right? The names of those who got accepted with a full academic scholarship have finally been posted on the bulletin board outside the faculty,” Vicki reveals.

My eyes immediately widened in shock, but before I could even say anything, my feet started moving on their own. I ran out of the room and headed straight to the bulletin board at full speed, navigating my way down the hallway while trying my best not to bump into anyone.

When I finally arrived at the board, I took a deep breath and searched for the list.

“T-There…” I say while I try to catch my breath.

Before looking at the names, I closed my eyes and did the sign of the cross despite not being religious. And as soon as I opened it back, I immediately slid my finger down the paper, and there, at number 8, was the name Adlawan, Domingo M.

Everything around me stopped, and before I knew it, tears were already pouring out of my face.

“ Yes…oh god…yes, thank you. Thank you, thank you, “ I softly say, trying my best to contain myself so I wouldn’t end up jumping up and down because of complete excitement.

I immediately pull my phone out of my pocket with my hand trembling and dial Mama’s number. After a couple of rings, Mama answers the phone.

“M-Ma…”

“Dom? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Ma, is there someone with you right now?” I then ask.

“Yes, the nurses are here with me. Why? Did something happen? Dom, don’t make me nervous like this. You know it’s bad for me.”

“Y-Yeah, I know. Sorry, I was just…” I pause and take a deep breath before finally revealing, “Ma, I got a full academic scholarship. I got a scholarship, ma!”

“Wait, what?! Are you serious right now?!”

“Yes, ma! We don’t have to worry about paying the tuition fee anymore! Now we can focus on your hospital bills and everything that you’ll need for your health. So don’t stress about it anymore and just concentrate on getting better,” I say as tears continue to pour out of my eyes, and I can hear my mom crying on the other line too, and then she started telling the nurses about it, which instantly put a smile on my face.

“Ma…Ma…I’ll have to go now, okay? After my classes, I’ll head there to the hospital,” I tell her, and Mama congratulates me one last time before finally ending the call.

As soon as I put the phone down, someone suddenly taps my back. I turn around and notice Mr. Gomez, my History professor, who is also once my mother’s schoolmate back in college, walking towards me with a proud smile.

“Sir Gomez,” I say as I immediately wipe the tears from my eyes because of embarrassment.

“Don’t worry. You deserve to shed those tears as you’ve worked hard the past month,” Professor Gomez says as he reaches out to pat my shoulder. “Congratulations, Mr. Adlawan. I’m sure your mother is very proud.”

“She is, and thank you.”

“Well, you really proved yourself, but you should also thank your senior partner, Aries,” Professor Gomez then says. I thought he mentioned Aries because he’s the one who told me to ask for his help, but then he added, “You were actually on the waiting list since you applied for the scholarship a bit late. But then I saw Aries at the Department’s office, and he was telling Mr. Trinidad, our department head, that you deserved and needed it more. He really believed in you, so thank him too if you can.”

Shit, he did that?

“Congratulations again, Mr. Adlawan. I’ll see you in our class later.” Professor Gomez smiles and pats my back again before finally walking away.

As soon as he was gone, I started running again, but this time, to the council office.

Just when I was double guessing if you really liked me or not, you pulled a stunt like this again. How am I even going to be angry with you if your actions practically scream that you care about me more than just a freshman partner?

“Aries!” I shouted as I swung the door open, but then I realized that only Secretary Jesse was inside, and Aries was nowhere to be found.

“Oh, Dom. Are you looking for Aries? He didn’t go to school today. Maybe you can just message him,” Jesse explains to me, making me furrow my brows in confusion.

“Is that so? Thank you.”

I head out of the office, defeated, before walking back to my classroom.

Aries didn’t tell me that he was not coming to school today. Did something happen? Well, I think I can message him and thank him later. I can easily put our problems aside so I can properly show my gratitude.

“Alright, I’ll message him after classes.”

The bell rang, and I went back to our room.

After my classes ended for the day, I immediately went to the hospital and met up with Mama to celebrate with her. I told myself earlier that I would message Aries to thank him, but even after my hospital visit, I still didn’t contact him. 

“Thanks for talking some sense to me the other day, Dom. After that night, I finally talked to Greg,” Sed tells me as he walks me towards the elevator.

“What did he say?”

“He told me that he couldn’t break up with his wife because he didn’t want his kids to grow up in a broken family, so I finally cut it off with him with no more hesitations. It was painful, but you guys were right. I don’t want to live my life knowing I’m a mistress who’s openly hurting others,” Sed explains to me, making me pat his back.

“How are you holding up then?” I then ask, and Sed sighs and holds onto his chest.

“It hurts, of course, but it’s for the best for both of us. I also blocked his number and have been avoiding him. I also requested to get transferred to a different hospital, so next week, I’ll be gone.”

“Really? Then will you still be here if Mama gets discharged tomorrow?” I ask next, and this time, Sed smiles and nods his head in reply.

“I’ll be here. Don’t worry.”

When we finally arrive at the elevator, Sed and I share a hug before parting ways.

“Thanks for today, doc Chua. And I’m proud of you for doing the right thing with Greg,” I say as I enter the elevator, making Sed laugh. But as I click the floor button, Sed gives me one final message.

“I faced my problem, Dom. Hope you’ll eventually face yours,” Sed says as the elevator door finally closes. 

When I saw the tired expression on my face reflected on the door, I couldn’t help but grab my phone. I guess Sed is right. If he can face his problems head-on, I should too. So I pull my phone out from my pocket to finally call Aries. But when the elevator arrived at the ground floor, and when the door opened, a familiar face suddenly appeared in front of me, instantly making my eyes widen in complete shock.

“A-Aries?”

Aries spots me, and his cheeks instantly turn red.

“What are you doing here?” I ask as I step out of the elevator to face him.

“I’m…I was…I just…” As Aries stumbles over his words, I grab his hand and drag him out of the hospital. I don’t even know what to do with this man. Whenever I think I’m the only one exerting any effort into making this relationship work, he does something like this that goes beyond what I’ve been doing.

“What are you doing here? Why didn’t you go to school today?” I ask, letting go of his hand as we arrive at the parking lot.

“Why didn’t you call me at all?” He asks back, almost making me gasp because of the complete audacity of this man. He is literally an Aries. How is he getting mad at me now?

“Why didn’t I call you? Why didn’t you call me?” I retaliate.

“You’re the one who told me not to worry about you. You’re the one who told me not to apologize because you told me that you’ll wait until I’m ready. That’s why when you suddenly asked me what the two of us were, I was caught off guard. How do you expect me to just answer on the spot? You’re seriously annoying,” Aries suddenly explains, making my jaw drop in an instant because I never thought I’d see him become this vocal before.

“Do you know how adorable you sound right now?” I unconsciously ask, my intrusive thoughts taking over my mouth.

Aries’s ears turn red, but he immediately turns around and walks away from me.

“I knew it. This was impossible,” he says in irritation.

“Wait! Sorry, I didn’t mean to say something stupid.” I chase after Aries and grab his arm before pulling him towards me so he can face me again. “I’m not gonna say anything anymore. Just tell me what you’re doing here,” I say, and Aries calms down and quickly glances at me before looking away from me again.

“Want to eat dinner? My treat,” Aries suddenly asks instead, making me furrow my brows in confusion.

“Dinner?”

“Yes, dinner.”

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

Okay, that’s not the response that I’m expecting, but a free meal is better than nothing, so I’ll take it.

“Alright. Where do you want to go?”

Aries takes a deep breath and leads me to his car. I was thinking that he might bring me to that old porridge house we went to before or maybe someplace a little intimate. But instead, we went on a drive-through at a famous fast food chain with a red bee.

After ordering two hamburgers and fries, Aries drove off again without saying anything. The drive continues to be quiet, which I find relaxing because at least we don’t have to subject ourselves to talking about the awkward conversation we had earlier.

I don’t really know where he’s taking me, but it’s my fault for not even asking. This man could literally drive me to an abandoned warehouse and murder me, and I’d still blame myself for being careless.

“Looks like we’re here,” Aries finally says as the car starts to slow down.

“We’re here?” I confusingly ask, looking out of the window to find ourselves beside a bridge that overlooks Pasig River.

Aries parks the car on the side and then steps out with the food that he bought. I had no other choice, so I got out of the car as well before joining Aries, who was walking close to the edge. I never thought he was the kind to visit places like this.

“If you’re planning on pushing me off this bridge because I asked you that question last time, I’m not even gonna get mad,” I say as I lean against the railing, the two of us staring at the river that reflected the moon that’s above us.

“Idiot,” he replies as he hands me the burger.

As we ate in silence, Aries continued staring at the river, almost like he was contemplating something. We then finished our food and just enjoyed the scenery in front of us.

“Thanks for dinner,” I tell him right after, and Aries just nods his head in reply.

I take a deep breath and let the wind blow on me before looking up at the moon. “I got the scholarship,” I finally reveal.

Aries takes a deep breath as well before replying, “I know. I found out because the official list was sent to us last night.”

“Wait, you knew, and you didn’t even tell me?” I ask in shock, and Aries, who’s still looking at the river, smiles in response, showing his dimples that I love on him.

“Congratulations, Dom,” he then says. “You worked hard.”

“I heard from Professor Gomez that you helped convince the department head to choose me for the scholarship. Thank you for that, as well as everything else you’ve done for me. Thank you,” I genuinely tell him, and Aries turns to face me.

The two of us stare into each other, and then, out of nowhere, he reaches out to touch my cheek. I close my eyes and feel his warmth on me. It’s only been two days, but I’ve missed him already.

“I’m stubborn, and I can lose my temper for no reason. So if you don’t call me even just for two days, I’ll think you hate me, and I’ll get mad instead,” Aries says, making me open my eyes back in shock.

“So I have to adjust all the time?” I ask as I grab his hand on my cheek to hold it.

“Yes,” he playfully answers.

“Now that’s not fair.”

Aries laughs and pulls his hand away from me so he can look back at the scenery again.

“I thought about your question for the past few days. It’s the only thing I could think about, and it got me questioning a lot of things. When I tell you that I’ve never had this dilemma in my life, well, it’s true. Most of the time, when things get serious, I cut people off and run away. But with you—” Aries pauses and leans against the railings of the bridge and becomes quiet again.

And when Aries becomes quiet, I become quiet too.

Curse you, silence.

You keep saying all the things that both of us can’t say out loud.

“The question you asked me last time…can I properly answer it now?” Aries asks, making me swallow the lump in my throat, the nervousness consuming me again like the time we were in the car together.

“Of course. Let me hear it.”

end.

(41) It Doesn’t Matter

“I’LL GIVE YOU AN answer, but first, let me start from the very beginning. And when I say beginning, I mean Blaine de la Cruz, my previous senior partner. We briefly talked about him a while back, but I guess you’re right. I think it’s time I talk about him.”

“But you don’t have to.”

“But I want to,” Aries answers back, so I nod my head and let him speak.

“When I was in high school, I was the typical quiet honor student who didn’t have any real friends. I was too introverted to hang out with the girls and too gay to hang out with the guys. That’s why when I got into college, I swore to myself that I’ll try opening up to people,” Aries explains as I continue staring at him.

“During the freshmen orientation, I was late, and I stumbled upon Blaine de la Cruz, who was the council president at that time. He was the complete opposite of me. Straight-forward, confident, and knows how to handle people. That’s why I got so shocked when he became my senior partner,” Aries then explains further.

I don’t know why, but that encounter was almost similar to mine when I first met Aries. Was fate playing with us at that time? Was that the reason why Aries looked so hurt when I got partnered with him?

“Blaine was kind, and he helped me adjust to college life. Apart from that, he made me confident. He taught me how to speak my mind and to be honest with myself. He treated me well, so it was only natural that I fell in love with him. The problem was, I knew he was straight, so I never made a move. My friendship with him was way more important than anything else.

Blaine eventually graduated, and I had to move on. We were still friends, but after he left, I changed and just became a mess. I went to bars, I partied almost every night, and then, I met another guy. I thought he was the perfect person who would help me forget about Blaine. He showered me with his passionate love and told me he liked me almost every day, but when he realized that I didn’t love him enough to come out to my family and to the rest of the world, he told me I was selfish and left,“ Aries shares, the information catching me off guard because I didn’t know he experienced such a thing.

Now I know why he was so careful with me and even apologized when we had that conversation last time. Now I understand why he was hesitant about our relationship before.

“After another heartbreak, I gave up and just fucked around. I met guys at bars who didn’t want any strings attached. I had sex with them and then never talked to them again right after,” Aries reveals next before looking back at me, almost like he’s checking my reaction.

When he realizes that I kept my expression neutral, he looks away from me again and continues, “Eventually, my father was starting to get skeptical, so that’s where Diane came in. I knew she liked me, and I never really gave it any thought. But when she confessed to me again, I told her that we’ll try it out, and that’s how things came to be.”

“Why did you break up with her then?” I ask next.

Aries takes another deep breath and stares at the moon before answering, “It was during Blaine’s wedding.”

“Wedding? Blaine’s?”

“That fucker invited me and wanted me to be part of his groomsmen. Of course, I declined, but I still went to the damn wedding. He was dear to me. I just had to go,” Aries says before laughing at himself as if he remembered something humorous about that event. “After his wedding, he gave me the blue headband that he got during freshman orientation that had the number 22, and then told me that he always knew that I liked him.”

Wait, Blaine knew?

And then he still invited Aries to the wedding?

Well, it’s either he’s an actual asshole, or he just wanted Aries to see the path he chose so he could finally get over him. After all, first love is sometimes a curse, so maybe this is his way to say, “ This is the end for us, Aries. I hope you find your own ending. “ It’s cruel, but I guess it’s for the best for both of them.

“He knew, and he fucking apologized. It was definitely something Blaine would do, so I wasn’t even mad at him for hiding it after all those years,” Aries continued to jokingly say with a smile, but I could almost hear the pain in those words when he said them.

“That’s when I finally realized that the thing with Diane was never gonna work out. I will never be straight, and I will never be the man my parents want me to be. That’s why I broke it off with her,” Aries says, now turning to look at me again.

“I’m bad with feelings and confessions. And when things start to get serious, I tend to walk away because I’m afraid they’d walk away first,” Aries says as he looks straight into my eyes that sparkle in the night.

I can tell that he’s putting all his heart and soul into saying these words out loud. I can tell how serious he is and how certain he is, and that certainty made my own heart beat even faster.

“I don’t know how to properly tell someone I like them. I don’t know how to express my feelings because I’m afraid of fucking it up and getting hurt. I keep hiding from people who gets too close to unlocking me, but Dom…” Aries stops, and soon after, tears pour out of his eyes again.

I stare at him as he wipes his eyes with his bare hands. I wanted to reach out to him, but I stopped myself and just clenched my fist, allowing him to have this much-needed moment to let it all out. But as tears continue to pour out of Aries’s eyes, he finally looks back at me with such innocence and fear that’s covered with certainty and determination.

“I really…really…like you, Dom. And I desperately want to be with you,” he finally reveals, and at that moment, a breath of relief escapes my mouth, and everything around me just stops.

“I like how you look at me with those eyes that scream you like me too. I like how you’re careful yet outspoken and real. I like how you always ask me if I’m okay or if I want to do something or not. I like how you give me space but hold me tight when I need it the most. I like how you’re determined and hardworking, and you’re not afraid to do things for the sake of your loved ones. I like you…Dom. And I’m so afraid that you’ll realize that I’m just a lonely moon in a universe where you shine the brightest. I’m afraid that you’ll get tired of me. I’m afraid that—”

Before Aries can even finish his sentence, I immediately hold onto his shoulders to stop him from saying anything further. My hands trembled, and my heart was a moment away from exploding. But I swallowed those negative feelings down as I stared into Aries’s eyes.

“You finally said it,” I say as my own tears blur my vision. “Aries Buan…You are the moon that shines on my darkest nights. And in the universe that I crave to explore, you are the only reason why I am brave enough to fly toward it. I already told you, if you are afraid…let me be afraid with you.”

“But I’ve been with a lot of people. I can’t even give you most of my firsts.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I won’t be able to scream to the world that I like you.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I continue to say as the distance between us becomes smaller and smaller.

“I’m mean to you,” he says, and this time, I couldn’t help but laugh.

“It still doesn’t matter, Aries,” I say back as we’re finally inches away from each other. I reach out to cup my hands on his cheeks and then continue, “What matters to me, Aries, is that you’re…you.”

“You seriously say the most annoying things,” he replies, his nose red and his eyes still watery from the tears he shed a few moments ago.

“I guess it’s just the English Major in me. A lot of people say we’re sickeningly poetic,” I say, and Aries finally smiles. I smile back at him, and then I lean forward to give him a kiss on his forehead, my hands still holding onto his cheeks.

Afterward, I look down at Aries and stare at him like he’s the last living person in the world. And I know that Aries isn’t the type to find things romantic since he’s more on the scientific and realistic side, but we both can’t deny that as we stood on a bridge beside a river that reflected the moon. And as I lean even closer to finally press my lips on his, this is definitely the most romantic thing that we’ve ever done.

“I’m the luckiest man to have the smartest and the most handsome boyfriend in the world. No takebacks, okay?” I tell him right after the kiss.

Aries smiles and drapes his hands around my neck while my own hands hold onto his waist.

“No takebacks,” he repeats before giving me a peck on my lips.

The two of us smile and giggle like teenagers. And I honestly can just stay like that for hours. But as we were having our moment, a car passed by and started honking at us, immediately making us pull away from each other.

“Alright, time to go,” I say in embarrassment as Aries tries his best not to laugh.

“Are you heading home? Or do you want to go somewhere else?” I then ask as the two of us walk back to the car.

Aries and I step inside the car, and then he starts the engine and answers, “I have a place where I want us to go.”

“A motel?” I jokingly ask him, and Aries reaches out to hit me before driving off.

“I’m sorry, that was obviously a joke. But where else are you taking me? I’m telling you, if this is another bridge, I’m gonna lose it,” I then say, and Aries starts laughing, his smile much more genuine than before that I couldn’t help but be overjoyed.

“Just stay quiet and sit tight.”

“Yes, sir.”

Unlike before, Aries played some music on our way to this secret place. We’re usually quiet in the car, but now he’s playing songs, and the two of us started singing together even though we’re not the best singers in the world.

I found out that Aries likes to listen to bands like Ben&Ben and Autotelic, while I told him that I prefer listening to older bands like Eraserheads and Cueshé. So even though he doesn’t entirely know the lyrics to With A Smile, and I don’t know the lyrics to Maybe The Night, we still sang our hearts out like we were finally free to express ourselves to each other without holding anything back.

And this freedom made me more hopeful and excited about how the universe is going to write our story from now on.

…

“Where on earth are we? This looks like an expensive condominium,” I ask as Aries parks the car in the parking lot. The two of us got out, and then I stared at the building again before looking back at Aries with a playful grin. “You didn’t bring me to a motel, but you bought me to a condo? That’s a little sly of you, Mr. Aries Buan.”

Aries’s ears redden again, but he acts irritated instead as he starts walking inside the building. I followed right behind him, and then the two of us went inside the elevator. Even at the elevator, we couldn’t help but smile and secretly reach out to touch each others’ fingers so it would be too obvious on the CCTV.

When we finally arrive at the unit, Aries pulls out a key and opens the door before entering inside. I take a step forward to enter the room as well, but then Aries suddenly stops me and slams the door shut right in front of my face, surprising me.

“Uhm, Aries, I think you left me outside,” I say as I try to open the door, but Aries has already locked it.

What is he doing this time? I seriously don’t know what to expect when it comes to him. He brought me here, didn’t he? So why did he leave me out here now?

“Aries? Are you mad?” I then ask as I start knocking on the door, but Aries still doesn’t open the door. Defeated, I just messaged my temple and waited outside. After a few more seconds, I finally heard Aries from inside the room.

“When I open the door, you better close your eyes,” Aries suddenly says, making me furrow my brows in confusion.

“Close my eyes? Why?”

“Just do it!” Aries angrily shouts, so I immediately close my eyes like the obedient boyfriend that I am. Soon after, the door closes, and Aries leads me inside the condo unit as I carefully remove my shoes. I was tempted to take a peek, but I didn’t want to anger Aries even more, so I just kept my eyes shut.

“Stand there,” Aries says as he moves away from me.

I can hear him walking around the room, and then I can hear a bunch of…plastic rubbing each other? I’m not even sure.

“Can I open my eyes now?”

“No.”

I continue to wait for at least 30 more seconds before feeling Aries’s hands holding onto my back and slightly pushing me forward.

“Alright, you can open your eyes now,” he says, and I slowly open my eyes to finally see what this is all about. I adjusted to the light and rubbed by eyes, and right after, I got welcomed by a bunch of blue balloons and lights on the ceiling that looked like stars. I then turn around, and there, on the wall, are the words, “ Congratulations on getting the scholarship, Domingo! “

I stare at the sign with disbelief, and then the first reaction I have is to laugh because I don’t know how else to react. I laugh for no apparent reason, but as I’m laughing, tears start pouring out of my eyes uncontrollably. No one has ever done this for me before. Apart from my mom, no one has given as much effort. This is the first time someone actually surprised me like this.

“You like it?” Aries asks, and I grab his arm and immediately pull him close to embrace him.

“Thank you. I love it so much,” I say, kissing his head as Aries hugs me back. He then lifts his head up and leans close to give me the softest kiss he has ever given me.

“ Congratulations, baby, “ he whispers, and I kiss him again, and he kisses me even deeper. Before things get out of hand, Aries gently pushes me away and leads me to another area. This time, he brought me to the dining room, and just when I thought nothing else would surprise me, the table was beautifully set with candles and white roses that instantly took my breath away. I guess I was wrong when I said Aries isn’t the romantic type because this is definitely the most romantic thing ever,

“You prepared all this?” I ask as I turn back to him. “Is this the reason why you didn’t go to school today?”

Aries’s ears turn red again, and then he looks away so he wouldn’t be able to look straight into my eyes anymore. “When the results for the scholarships were sent to us, I thought of doing something for you for working hard. This condo unit is owned by my aunt, who’s currently in the States, so I asked if I could use it while she’s gone. I planned a little surprise, but I think I went overboard because I never did this to anyone before,” he explains.

Seriously, how much deeper am I gonna fall in love with this man?

“How on earth am I gonna top this now?” I ask. “Wait, does that mean that you also planned to confess to me? Is this like a celebration of our first day in an official relationship?”

“Maybe,” he playfully answers, and I reach out and pinch his nose before turning to the table where there were a couple of dishes placed on top. “And did you cook this too? No wonder we only ate burgers earlier.”

“I made sure to do it right his time,” he answers, and I grab him for another hug.

“Thank you, Aries. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome,” he replies.

After pulling away from each other, I took a seat while Aries went to the kitchen to grab something. I start taking pictures because this is definitely a core memory that I’ll remember forever. Aries returns with a bottle of red wine and then a box. He places the box in the middle of the table and then opens it, revealing a white and blue cake with the word “ Congratulations! “ written on it.

“You’re way too good with this. Come here, let’s take a picture,” I say, and Aries stands beside me as we take a picture together.

“This is my first picture with you,” I say as I start staring at our photo. “Can you take a photo with me of the sign you made in the living room?”

“But that’s so embarrassing,” he replies.

“No, it’s not. It’s amazing, so you have to take a picture of me with it,” I say, and Aries laughs before taking a seat in front of me. He then removes the cake from the box before placing a small candle on top of it. Right after that, he pulls a match from his pocket and lights the candle up.

“Now, make a wish,” he says.

I stare at the cake before looking back at Aries again. The room was a little dim, and we were right beside a window that gave us a beautiful view of the city lights. The fire from the candle gently touched his skin, and I couldn’t help but think, “ Nothing can be more perfect or beautiful than this moment. “

“Dom, make a wish,” Aries suddenly repeats, making me blink and look back at the cake again.

I put my hands together and stare at the candle before closing my eyes. “I wish Mama successfully recovers and safely gets discharged from the hospital,” I say out loud. “I wish to graduate and get a real job in the future. I wish my life eventually become better. And I wish…Mr. Aries Buan…knows how much of my heart belongs to him.”

I open my eyes back and finally blow the candle. And when I looked back at Aries, tears were forming in his eyes again, and this instantly made me start being emotional too.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

Aries quickly wipes his eyes and answers, “Nothing. I’m just happy.”

I smile and reach out to touch his hand before squeezing it tight. “Alright, let’s stop being emotional and grab a bite. I’m really excited to taste your cooking,” I say as Aries removes the covers on the dishes so we can finally eat.

“Next time, I’ll cook for you too, okay? I’m pretty good myself,” I then say while Aries starts putting the food on my plate.

As we ate our food and as we enjoyed each other’s company, I suddenly remembered the declaration I made a while back. During that time, I said  I’ll have it all;  the scholarship and the boy I like. I said to myself that I’ll have it all, no matter what it takes.

And looking back at it now, I realize that after everything…

I actually did.

end.

(42) Sun & Moon [m]

“SED TOLD ME HE finally ended things with Greg. He said that Greg couldn’t break it off with his wife, so he knew then and there that their relationship wasn’t going to last. To be honest, I already knew how the outcome would be. The woman who cheated with my father also told him to break it off with Mama, but Papa wasn’t man enough for that,” I explained while washing the dishes.

Aries, who was busy wiping the table, turned to me and said, “Where did your dad even meet this woman?”

“Papa was a construction worker, and the woman worked at a karenderya ( a food stall beside the road ). Mama found out about their relationship because Papa was starting to come home late every night, and when she secretly checked his phone, he saw their messages to each other,” I explained, the memory so vivid I could almost see it.

“What did Aunty Yade do after that?”

“My mom’s not the confrontational type. She talked to my dad in a calm manner and told him that she knew about the affair. Papa cried and told her that it was just a mistake, you know, guys’ usual response, and then begged Mama to forgive him. As the kind-hearted woman that she is, Mama forgave him and gave him a second chance. But after that, Mama was never the same, and I don’t blame her for it,” I explained further as I finally turned the faucet off.

I dried my hand with a cloth and turned around to check on Aries, who was also finished cleaning the table.

“Should I pop the balloons?” Aries then asked as he walked towards the living room where the decorations were found.

“Just leave it be. You said that we’re gonna sleep here tonight, right? Then let’s just clean up tomorrow,” I answered, and Aries nodded his head in understanding.

“By the way, since we were already on the topic, where did you meet Sed again?” Aries suddenly asked, the question catching me off guard because it had never crossed my mind that Aries would ever ask me about that.

“W-Well, if it’s already not obvious, Sed was a regular customer of mine back at the Red Light. Are you uncomfortable with that? Do you want me to stop working at the bar?” I then asked, and Aries chuckled and approached me to brush my hair back.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Don’t use me as a reason for you to quit your job. It’s obvious that you like the people working there,” Aries explained, making me smile. “But of course, if there is something that would make me uncomfortable, that would be you getting billed out . If you can, can you decline it from now on? If you’re horny, just call me, and I’ll suck you off,” Aries then answered so casually that it made me embarrassed instead.

Aries laughed at my reaction and moved away from me, but as he was about to walk away, I grabbed his arm and pulled him back to me to give him a kiss on his lips.

“And how on earth did you know about Billing Out? Have you billed someone out before?” I then asked, and Aries’s flustered expression instantly placed a grin on my face.

“Actually I—”

“Alright, I don’t want to know the details,” I quickly interrupted before lifting him up from the ground and carrying him like a princess in distress. “But since you already mentioned it, I am actually a bit horny.”

Aries laughed as I brought him to the bedroom.

I gently placed him down on the edge of the bed, and then the two of us immediately started removing our shirts. Afterward, Aries sat up and reached out to unbuckle my belt, and then he started unzipping my pants before pulling them down with my boxers, revealing my hard member that’s been aching since I kissed him.

Aries swallowed the lump in his throat before licking my tip and holding onto my thighs. I stared down at him as he slowly pushed me inside his mouth, his eyes starting to become teary.

“ That’s so fucking sexy, “ I whispered, holding onto his head as he pushed me in deeper, the insides of his mouth sending shivers down my spine.

I looked up at the ceiling and closed my eyes as Aries’s hot tongue played with my cock. After adjusting to my size, he started bobbing his head, pushing deep, and then slowly pulling back. The friction made me release a low moan.

As Aries continued giving me a blow job, I felt my legs tremble, so I grabbed a fistful of his hair and immediately pulled him out so I wouldn’t accidentally release my load inside his mouth.

“You’re gonna make me cum, baby,” I told him as Aries licked his lips.

“I wouldn’t mind swallowing,” he answered, and my already hard cock hardened even more.

“You’re practically begging for it this time,” I said as I looked down at the hard bulge on his pants. I smiled and aggressively tugged it off before kneeling on the floor so I could face his throbbing cock.

“This one is being a little naughty,” I said, grabbing Aries’s legs and putting them over my shoulders so I could lick him. Even though he was still wearing his underwear, I could still see that he was already leaking out. So I licked him over the garment while looking straight at him.

Aries released a hot breath as I continued licking him. “Stop teasing and just fuck me,” he then demanded, making me chuckle.

“And who the fuck gave you the permission to ask for anything?” I asked back, and the expression on Aries’s face turned me on even more. He wanted me to be rough with him and take charge, so I’ll do just that.

I know that you’ve also been worried that I’m not your first, but that doesn’t matter to me. I’ll just have to make you realize that I’m the best among the other guys you’ve been with, and then you’ll never be able to be with anyone else because it would never be enough. I’m selfish like that, Aries, so you better prepare yourself.

I removed his legs from me and got up. I then sat on the bed and leaned on the bed header before commanding, “If you want me to fuck you, then sit on top of me and put it in yourself.”

Aries’s cheeks instantly burned up, but he slowly crawled to me before sitting on top of me just like I wanted. He held onto my shoulders, but before doing anything else, he reached out to the side cabinet and opened the drawer, revealing a bunch of condoms and an expensive-looking lube.

Looks like he prepared this too.

“D-Dom, don’t look for a while,” Aries said as he rubbed lube on his fingers. He then reached out to his ass to push his fingers in, the action instantly making him moan.

I didn’t look away though, and just watched as he fingered himself. His cock was also rubbing against mine as he pushed his finger even deeper inside. It was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. There’s no way I’m looking away from this.

“How many fingers did you put inside?” I then asked, and Aries glared at me in response.

I chuckled and grabbed his ass so I could spread it for him. And then I leaned forward and started kissing his stomach and chest. After a while, Aries pulled his hand away and looked back at me again. “I’m going to put it in,” he bravely said.

“No condom?” I asked, and Aries ignored my question as he positioned my cock at his entrance. He couldn’t even look straight at me, and I could tell that he was embarrassed because of how red his ears were.

When my tip touched him, the hair on Aries’s skin stood up. He was trying his best not to react, but it was nearly impossible because when he pushed himself deeper, a loud moan escaped his mouth, and precum was already leaking out of his cock. He was definitely feeling good.

“ Just a little more, Aries, “ I whispered, and Aries held onto my shoulder until he finally pushed all of me inside him.

I closed my eyes because of how tight he was. His walls embraced every inch of me, and I almost came if I wasn’t able to hold it in on time. He felt so good, and something about this particular sex made it feel even better. Is it because this is the first time we’re having sex as an official couple? Is that the reason why it feels like I’m going to explode any second?

“Dom…S-Shit…I can feel you so deep inside me,” Aries said as he held his abdomen.

“Does it hurt?” I unconsciously asked, and Aries looked down at me and grinned before leaning close to give me a kiss.

“If you’re going to be aggressive, you shouldn’t be asking me such a sweet thing, Mr. Adlawan,” Aries answered before biting my lower lip.

“It’s a bad habit,” I jokingly answered.

When Aries finally adjusted to my size, he started bouncing on top of me, grinding himself so good that I couldn’t help but grip his waist so hard that his skin started turning red. He moved his hips in a motion that drowned me in ecstasy. I’ve never been in such a lustful trance before.

“That’s it. Ride me like that, baby,” I demanded as slapped his ass. And every time I did so, Aries would tighten around me.

“ Aries…shit, Aries… “

The two of us were a moaning mess, and Aries started going at a faster pace that I unconsciously started pushing myself and thrusting my hips too. So after a couple more thrusts, my toes curled up, and my body trembled, and with no warning, I released my hot cum inside him, the sensation instantly making Aries climax as well.

We were panting heavily as sweat trailed down our skin. Aries looked at me and gave me a kiss before slowly pulling me out of him.

“That felt way too good,” Aries said as he tried catching his breath while leaning his head against my chest. “I thought I was gonna have a dry orgasm. That was a first time.”

“I guess it was different because we’re no longer holding back anymore. That’s why I’m really happy that we can finally express ourselves like this,” I said, and Aries looked at me before tracing my eyes, nose, and lips with his slender finger.

“ My sun… “ he suddenly whispered. And there was something about that endearment that made my heart beat even faster.

“ My moon… “ I whispered back as I gave him another soft kiss.

“You’re not tired yet, right? So how about doing it again?” I then asked him, and Aries wiped the sweat on my forehead before answering, “Can I lay down this time? My back’s killing me.”

His question made me laugh, but I immediately grabbed him and turned him over so I could go on top of him this time.

“Looks like that’s a yes. “

…

“Sunday! A customer at table 9 is requesting you!” Henney shouted while I carried two buckets of beer at another table.

“Wait a sec!” I shouted back. “Here’s your drinks. If you need anything, just let us know,” I then told the customers who ordered the beer before running to table 9.

It was a group of foreigners who visited us last week. I don’t really like the comments they made and the backhanded compliments they thought were cool, but they drink a lot and give huge tips, so I better suck it up and get it over with.

“Mr. Sunday! Good to see you again!” One of the customers stated as I sat beside them. And as soon as I did, the man lifted his arm up and draped it around my shoulder. I pretended to laugh as I looked up to find Gin staring back at me, so I subtly touched my neck with my index finger, signaling to him that I was feeling uncomfortable and they had to keep an extra eye on us.

The table ordered their snacks and drinks as usual, and like what I always do, I entertained them and flirted with them because it was part of the job; it was to make them feel special. But what’s not part of the job is when they touch you.

“ Come on Sunday, let me bill you out… “ my customer whispered as he slowly snaked his hand on my thighs. I endured it for a few more seconds to check if Anna finally charged their credit card for the payment. And as soon as they returned the card, I immediately touched my neck with my index and middle finger. Without a second to spare, the bouncers arrived and quickly escorted them out of the bar.

I sighed and got up from my seat before pulling the cash in my pocket as the bar finally closed, concluding tonight’s work. “They’re assholes, but they tip really good,” I said as I started counting the tip the customers had been handing to me all night.

While I was counting, Willow, one of the Table Employees, ran to me and grabbed my arm. “Sunday, the guys and I are heading out to eat ramen. Wanna come?” He invited.

“Nah, I need to go home. Mama might be waiting for me.”

“Such a Mama’s boy,” Willow then teased before patting my back and heading to the other guys to invite them out too.

After counting my tip, I walked to the dressing room to change. And as I got inside, I found Jack completely naked while wiping the glitter off his body with some oil.

“I’m gonna be taking another long shower when I get back home,” Jack said as I walked to my locker to grab my things.

“How’s the tip? Those foreigners requested you again. You should be careful, Dom. One of the employees got tangled with a foreign customer before, and it didn’t end well,” Jack warned me as I started stripping too.

“Don’t worry. I’ve been extra careful. But thanks for the warning,” I answered with a smile, and Jack stared at me before smiling back.

“Being in love really makes people glow. That could be the reason why a lot of customers are requesting you now. If you keep this up, you’ll beat me when it comes to sales,” Jack then said, making both of us laugh.

“Anyway, you’re heading back home?” He then asked while I wore my white shirt over my head.

“Yeah. And I’ll head back to sleep because I have classes tomorrow. You?”

“I’m heading home to take a quick shower, and then I’m gonna meet up with a guy I’ve been dating recently. We met online, and he’s an actual cutie. To top it all off, he’s a lawyer. Isn’t that such a catch?” Jack answered, surprising me.

“Wait, Jack…you? You’re actually dating someone?” I jokingly asked, and Jack threw the glittered-covered cloth toward me, making me laugh even harder because of his reaction.

“Hey, I might be 36 years old, but I can still go on dates if I want to. You’re not the only one who can have fun,” Jack answered, and I just nodded my head in defeat.

“Well, I hope this one is going to be your Mr. Right. Any guy would be lucky to have you,” I then told him, and Jack laughed but eventually smiled and nodded his head back.

“Any guy would be lucky to have you too, Dom. But knowing that your boyfriend doesn’t even mind that you work at a gay bar for a living, I guess you might be luckier. Some people don’t like the thought of their partners doing this kind of work. I’ve watched dozens of employees break up with their boyfriends and girlfriends because of that,” Jack then said, and I couldn’t help but agree. Aries has been very supportive of what I do for a living. I know he sometimes worries, so I try my best not to make him feel that way.

I closed my locker and walked towards the door. But before leaving, I turned back at Jack and said, “I am the luckiest. But he did say no to Bill Outs , so I guess that’s fine. Anyway, I’ll see you next Friday. Have a great week.”

Jack waved goodbye as I finally walked out of the dressing room. And as I clocked out, my phone suddenly vibrated. I took it out of my pocket and instantly smiled when I saw who it was. It was someone who I named My Moon  because he named me My Sun in his contacts . Yes, this time, I have his actual number now, so we’re no longer sending messages on our social media accounts like two classmates who can easily unfollow each other after the school year ends.

“ I’m already waiting outside, “ the message read.

“ I’m heading out, “ I answered.

It’s been a month since Aries finally told me he liked me. And ever since then, things have been really great. Mama got discharged from the hospital and has been recovering well, so she can start working next week. I also aced the midterm exams and got A’s. And, of course, my work at the bar has been pretty good. By next year, I might be able to buy my own motorcycle now.

Life is starting to look good.

“Dom,” someone suddenly called out when I was already inches away from the exit. I turned around, and then I saw Madam Scarlet, who was once again only wearing lingerie and a wig cap.

“Good thing I caught up with you. Here’s your payment for last month. As always, you’ll get the next one on the 15th,” Madam Scarlet explained as she handed me the white envelope that contained my pay.

“Thank you, Scarlet,” I said as I hid the money inside my backpack. She then patted my back and was about to leave, but then she looked like she remembered something, so she immediately stopped me again.

“Oh yeah, Dom, one of my old employees is coming back next week. His contract in Japan ended, so you’ll be working with him soon. Don’t worry. He’s a charming guy. You’ll get along just fine,” Scarlet explained, making me furrow my brows in confusion.

“Old employee? Who?”

“Did no one mention him to you before? His name is Iñigo. He’s really famous around here.”

“Wait…did you just say, Iñigo?”

end.

(43) Not Bothered

NOTE:

Before we begin the chapter, just a little fun fact for my non-Filipino readers! Their endearment, sun & moon, actually comes from their surnames! Aries ’ Buan ’ is derived from the word buwan, which means moon, while Domingo Adlawan is a Bisayan word that means daytime , thus the use of sun. Domingo also means Sunday, so the more you know ;)

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/14d37d7f5d9330f8fbddb6ebc258fd9d600afd29/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f306b354c483645737636455073413d3d2d313335383937343536342e313736653834313338373662663737353835313234363035363731302e6a7067)

IÑIGO, A NAME I completely forgot about ever since Aries and I started dating. I asked Gin about this in the past. And going back, maybe I shouldn’t have asked at all. At that time, I just got curious and wondered who Aries usually tabled with at the Red Light Bar. Gin told me it was an employee named Iñigo who was contracted to work in Japan, so he left before I could even meet him. I never went into detail, but there’s something about this man that somehow makes me a little nervous.

“Babe, did you hear what I just said?” Aries suddenly asks, making me blink and realize that I’m actually inside a car as Aries drives me back home.

“S-Sorry, I’m just a little tired,” I reply, and Aries sighs and looks at me before reaching out to rub his thumb on my cheek.

“Sorry, I should have let you rest.”

“No, it’s fine. What were you saying again?”

“I was talking about your birthday. It’s next week, right? December 8. Mama told me that she was going to cook some food and have a little celebration. Obviously, Gelo’s invited, but she suggested that you invite your other friends too,” Aries then explains, and all my worries about Iñigo immediately vanished. Maybe I shouldn’t worry about him. After all, Aries was just his previous customer. Whatever happened to them in the past shouldn’t concern me anymore.

“When did you and Mama talk again? I’m telling you, she’s gonna abandon me and claim you as her son instead,” I manage to joke, instantly making Aries laugh.

“Idiot, she called me last night to talk about your birthday party.”

See, she’s even consulting Aries for my birthday party instead of me. The favoritism is seriously unmatched. Even Gelo’s getting jealous now.

“Well, it’s fine, but the problem is my friends. Arthur and Vicki kinda know that we’re already dating, but Justin’s as dumb as a sloth. He never connected anything. As I told you before, it’s alright with me to tell them we’re together, but you…do you think you’re ready to share this with them?” I ask, and Aries takes a deep breath and thinks about it for a while.

“I mean, you could…y-you know, just tell them that you invited me as your senior partner. We don’t have to say anything,” Aries answers, obviously worried and hesitant. He probably thinks he’s being selfish again, but he’s not. If he’s not ready to share this with anyone, even with my friends, then it’s alright with me.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” I say, reaching out for his hand this time to squeeze it and reassure him that everything’s fine. “If you don’t want to, we won’t do it.”

“Thank you, Dom,” he tells me, and I smile and pull his hand towards my lips to kiss it.

“My boyfriend is such an over-thinker. What am I gonna do with him?” I ask, and Aries chuckles as he continues to drive while our hands are intertwined with each other.

As we arrive at my house, Aries parks at his usual spot. It’s only been a month since we’ve officially gone out, but the neighborhood already knows him and is even excited when they see him. Of course, they don’t exactly know what our relationship is, but knowing my nosy neighbors, I bet they’re already talking about it behind our backs.

“Aries! Play basketball with us!” Someone says as a group of kids runs to his side. Aries played with them once, and now they wouldn’t let him go.

“Sorry, I’m a bit busy,” Aries says, but the kids still grab his arm and start pulling him away. I got ready to rescue him as usual, but then an actual gangster appeared at the scene. And when I say an actual gangster, I mean my childhood friend Angelo Sanchez, who walks towards us completely shirtless while flinging around his belt.

“You assholes better scram before I call your mothers,” Gelo threatens, immediately making the kids run. He then laughs while I sigh and massage my temple in frustration.

“Gelo, you can’t curse at kids like that.”

“Dom, we were kids in this block too, and we knew more curse words than the older folks. Those kids aren’t going to get traumatized,” Gelo justifies, and truth be told, as I look back at the kids who were pulling Aries earlier, they suddenly flash their middle fingers at us while sticking their tongues out.

“Why those little—”

“Dom, Mama’s probably waiting for us,” Aries suddenly interrupts, instantly making both Gelo and I turn to him.

“Oh great, it’s Mr. Perfect,” Gelo says as he rolls his eyes in annoyance.

“Oh great, it’s mister I’m too lazy to cook, so I’ll just take the food from someone else’s fridge,” Aries then fires back.

The two start bickering at each other, and all I can do is laugh at them. Aries is a very important person to me, and so is Gelo. The two of them don’t get along most of the time, but I can tell that deep down, they like each other too.

It was during the time Aries and I were only two weeks into the relationship. Aries started coming to my house more often, and Gelo started to notice. I told Aries that Gelo is like a brother to me and asked him if it was alright to disclose our relationship to my childhood friend. Aries said it was fine since he trusted him, so I immediately told Gelo about it. To be honest, I thought Gelo would make fun of me, but instead, we sat at the back of our house, and he suddenly started giving me advice.

They might not show it, but I’m sure that Aries is glad that Gelo is my best friend, and Gelo is also glad that Aries is my boyfriend. They’re like oil and water, but they’re still liquid, right? Doesn’t make much sense, but you get it.

“Ma! We’re here!”

I remove my shoes and head inside the house, Aries and Gelo doing the same as they follow behind me. We spot Mama in the kitchen preparing breakfast. She places the dishes she made on the table and immediately smiles when she spots me and Aries.

“Oh, you’re back. How was work?” Mama asks as I approach her and give her a quick kiss on her cheek.

“It was okay,” I answer before glancing at Aries, who’s looking back at me too.

As you can tell, Mama still doesn’t know I work at a gay bar. Of course, I’ve thought about telling her before, but because of her condition, I decided to keep it a secret for a little while, so Mama still thinks I work at a computer shop. There will come a time when I’ll tell her, but for now, I’ll just have to continue the lie.

“Morning Ma,” Aries greets her with a soft kiss on her cheek as well.

“Aries, thank you for driving Dom back from work again. You weren’t busy, were you?”

“No, it’s fine. I was free.”

“Well, take a seat so we can eat, and afterward, Dom, you should take a shower and go to bed,” Mama sweetly says as Aries and I do what we’re told. She continues to smile at us, but then Gelo walks inside the dining room, and the smile on her face turns into annoyance.

“Angelo, you stole the chicken I prepared for Dom yesterday, didn’t you?” Mama scolds, making both Aries and I laugh. Gelo just laughs it off too and gives Mama a tight hug before taking a seat at the table even though no one invited him. Well, I feel like Gelo’s in our house more than me, so it doesn’t really matter. He’s family, nonetheless.

After Mama brought the pitcher of water to the table, she finally sat down beside Gelo, and the four of us said our graces before finally eating.

“Ma, you’re going back to work next week, right? If you need any help, you can always ask me,” Aries says, and the brightest smile appears on Mama’s face.

“You really are the sweetest, Aries. You should learn something from him, Angelo,” Mama scolds Gelo again, whose mouth was already filled with food.

“Its mot like I’m amy yelp,” Gelo answers, his words barely understandable because of the food he still hasn’t swallowed.

“Gosh, at least drink some water,” Aries then says as he pours water into Gelo’s glass.

I couldn’t help but stare at the people at the table with me. It felt like yesterday when I was a complete mess. I was scrubbing toilets at a bar, Mama was in the hospital, and Aries was way too far from my reach. But now, here I am with the people I love the most.

This is how I want my life to be. It’s not grand, but it’s everything.

This is supposed to be the happy ending that I want.

But why…

Why are there still so many blank pages? What is the universe still writing for me?

…

“Right after our finals, we’re gonna have our semestral break, and Christmas is also coming. Do you have any plans?” I ask before throwing myself onto my bed.

Aries, who’s already lying on the bed while reading emails on his phone, doesn’t even remove his eyes from the screen as he answers, “We’re probably gonna visit our uncle in the States again. We usually celebrate our Christmas there since most of the family is also living in the US.”

“Wow, imagine just casually going to a different country to celebrate Christmas. I would never,” I jokingly say, and Aries immediately puts his phone down to look at me and pout.

Dear god, I’m still not used to him acting like this.

“Come here,” I say, grabbing him and pulling him close so he can lay his head on my shoulder. “I might be a little bummed out that we’re not gonna celebrate Christmas together, but there’s still a lot of chances that we can do that.”

“Should I tell my parents that I’m not coming with them this year?” Aries then asks.

Here he goes again, being all selfless.

“Didn’t I just tell you that we can still celebrate next time?” I ask, and Aries just chuckles.

I lean over and gently kiss his lips. Aries slightly pushes his tongue in, but I immediately pull away because I’ve known Aries even before we started officially dating. He might not look like it, but this man’s sex drive is high as hell. If he wants to fuck, he’s gonna do it regardless of the situation, and I’m not gonna do such a thing, knowing Mama is just right outside my room where there are thin walls.

“Alright, I’m heading to sleep,” I say as Aries moves away from me.

“I’ll stay here for a while and then head back home. I’ll see you tomorrow at school, okay?” He then asks, and I lean over and kiss him again before properly lying on the bed.

Aries grabs the blanket and tucks me in. I got ready to close my eyes, but then I suddenly remembered something. So I got up again and looked at Aries, surprising him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Do you know a guy named Iñigo?” I finally asked, and the look on Aries’s face made me certain that asking him about it was the right thing to do.

Aries stares at me with shock and then with confusion and disbelief. But after a while, he takes a deep breath and tries to think of the right response. Not the perfect response, but the right one. I let him arrange his thoughts and tried not to assume anything until he cleared this up for me himself.

“I haven’t heard of that name for two years now,” Aries says as he looks away from me.

The room falls silent, and the only thing I can hear is the children playing outside, the stray dogs barking, and the sound of motorcycle drivers passing through the street. But as I take everything in, Aries finally turns to look at me as he reveals, “Iñigo was the first table employee I met at the Red Light bar. During that time, I was still exploring my sexuality, so he taught me a lot of things. He was also the first TE I billed out.”

“Is that so,” I say in such a bland manner, surprising Aries because he might have thought that I’d have a big reaction to it.

“You don’t care?” Aries asks, and I know that the question shouldn’t be as hard as it’s supposed to be, but it was.

Do I care? I don’t know. Deep inside, I know that I shouldn’t. I work as a Table Employee myself, so I shouldn’t be a hypocrite. But why am I actually bothered? This is the first time that I’ve ever felt like this before. Even with Diane, I wasn’t this bothered by it.

“He was your first boyfriend, wasn’t he? He was the guy you mentioned before, the one who showered you with his love but ended up breaking up with you because you couldn’t come out,” I then revealed to Aries, and Aries smiled, a smile that wasn’t showing happiness, but acceptance of the regret he has kept for all those years.

“Would it have been better if I lied?” Aries asks instead, and I smile back and shake my head.

“Thank you for being honest with me,” I say as I reach out to squeeze Aries’s hand. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I just brought it up because he’s coming back next week, and we’ll be working together. I thought you should know.”

Aries squeezes my hand back, and then he suddenly leans forward to rest his head on my shoulder. The action caught me off guard, but I instantly started patting his back to comfort him. Mentioning Iñigo must have reminded him of something unpleasant. I know that he probably didn’t want to talk about his ex-boyfriend anymore, but I didn’t want him to accidentally stumble into him when he visited me at the bar. I don’t want us to be in that type of situation. I still believe it’s the right thing that I told him about it instead of hiding it.

“You’re the only one that I want,” Aries then says.

“I know,” I answer, kissing his head as I continue patting his back.

The two of us reassured each other until I finally went back to sleep. This is what I loved about my relationship with Aries. We don’t say a lot, but our actions, the way we hold each other close, the way we look into each other’s eyes, those small things are what make our relationship work. That’s what makes me certain that we’ll last.

I didn’t want Aries to worry, so I didn’t allow this matter to bother me as much as it would. Iñigo was just an employee who I’ll be working with at the bar. He doesn’t even know that I know who Aries is, so it’s better that I keep a distance if ever we stumble into each other. It’s for the best for both of us.

…

“Dom! We’re here! Happy birthday!” A familiar voice shouted from outside our house.

After waxing my hair, I run out of my bedroom and found Vicki, Art, and Justin in the living room. “Guys!” I excitedly shout, running to them to give them a hug. “Sorry about the house. It’s a bit old and small. I’m a little embarrassed since the first party we attended together was in Art’s house.”

“What are you even talking about?! Don’t be ridiculous,” Vicki angrily says before handing me a gift bag. “This is for you. The three of us bought this together.”

“Really? Thanks, guys.”

“By the way, are we your only guest? Did you not have friends in high school?” Justin then asks, making Vicki hit his shoulder.

I laugh in response and shake my head. “No, it’s fine. But to answer your question, Justin, I have high school friends, but I only invited one, and that’s Gelo. You’ll meet him later. And as an early warning, his language can be a little colorful,” I explain, and thankfully my friends weren’t bothered by it at all.

“Anyway, I also bought some cake,” Justin then says as he places the cake roll on the table. “You don’t always ask us to visit your house, so I didn’t want to come empty-handed.”

“What?! My playboy friend actually bought a house gift for me?” I tease, and Justin pretends to kick me before laughing and giving me a hug.

“Happy birthday, bro.”

“Thanks, man.”

“I also bought a present even though we already bought a collective one. Just a…you know…a thank you gift,” Art then says as he hands me his present. He then reaches out to hug me before whispering, “ Thanks for taking care of my brother. Happy birthday. “

I instantly smile as I hug him back. After pulling away from him, I turn back to the others again and say, “Come on. Let me introduce you to my mom.”

The four of us got to the kitchen, where Mama was still busy preparing the spaghetti. The counter was already filled with my favorite dishes too. I told her that a few dishes were enough, but she insisted that we prepare more since my friends were coming for the first time.

“Mama,” I call out, approaching my mom, who’s covered in sweat after cooking all day. “Ma, my friends are here.”

Mama lowers the fire in the stove and turns around to face us. As soon as he sees Justin and the others, Mama smiles and quickly grabs a towel to wipe her face with it. “So this is your friend? Nice to meet you all. You’re a beautiful group,” Mama greets them.

“Yeah, Ma, this is Art, Vicki, and Justin. They’re the guys who influence me not to study in school,” I jokingly say, and Vicki instantly nudges my side before walking towards Mom to give her a hug.

“It’s nice to meet you, Aunt Yade. We’re glad you’re feeling better now,” Vicki says. “When you were in the hospital, Dom couldn’t concentrate well in our classes. He loves you that much.”

“Oh please, she’s over-exaggerating,” I defend, and Mama laughs and says back, “I bet she is.”

“Nice to meet you, Aunt Yade,” Justin then says as he and Art greet him this time.

The three of them started talking to my mom, and I couldn’t help but look at them and smile. Aside from Mama, Aries, and Gelo, Vicki, Justin, and Art have also been a huge part of my life as well. They’ve been with me through my ups and downs, and I couldn’t be any more grateful than that. So seeing them interact with each other really gives me such joy.

“By the way, is Aries not here yet?” Mama then asks, surprising my friends.

“You invited your senior partner?” Justin asks me, and I awkwardly laugh and scratch the back of my head before answering, “Well, yeah. Aries has helped me a lot. If he wasn’t there, I might not have gotten that scholarship. That’s why I invited him. It’s up to him if he’s coming or not.”

Art and Vicki glanced at each other before giggling like idiots, while Justin was still clueless.

“That makes sense,” Justin answers, not even doubting it at all.

“Dom, make your friends feel comfortable in the living room while we wait for the rice to cook. Turn on the karaoke we rented so they can sing,” Mama then instructs, so the four of us went back to the living room while Vicki, Justin, and Art took a seat on our old sofa.

I turn the karaoke on like what Mama said, but then the phone in my pocket suddenly vibrates.

“You guys wait here. Let me just take this,” I tell my friends before rushing to the back of the house to answer the call. I pull my phone out of my pocket to check the caller. And as soon as I saw the name My Moon on the screen, my face instantly lit up.

I immediately answer the call in excitement. “Aries, where are you? Everyone’s already here. Well, except for Gelo, but you know him. He’s never early,” I tell him.

Aries doesn’t answer me and just stays silent for a couple of seconds. At that moment, I already knew that something was wrong.

“Aries, are you okay?”

“D-Dom…I’m sorry,” Aries says, instantly making my heart beat faster.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Where are you?”

“I’m still at home. Can you come and get me?” Aries asks, his voice nervous.

“What’s going on?” I ask with a much more serious tone.

“Dom, it’s Iñigo. He’s waiting outside our house and has been calling me so I can’t go out. I haven’t answered his calls yet, but I’m scared. Dom, please come get me,” Aries explains, and before he can even end the call, I already found myself running out of the house.

Ahh shit. I knew it.

Looks like I’m really gonna be bothered by him after all.

end.

(44) Don’t Be Rude

“WHERE ARE YOU? ARE you alone right now?” I ask Aries over the phone as I ran towards Gelo’s house to borrow his motorcycle. Thankfully, when I got to their house, Gelo’s younger brother, Aaron, was sitting outside playing an online game on his phone.

“I’m alone at home. Mom’s with her friends, and Dad’s at work,” Aries answers.

“Alright, I’ll be there right away,” I then tell him before ending the call. “Aaron! Where’s the keys to your brother’s bike?” I ask Aaron next, but the kid wasn’t even able to notice me because his eyes were glued to his screen.

“Fuck you asshole! You can’t even enter the base!” Aaron shouts at the other kids he was playing with online. “Do something you useless bastard!” He continues to shout, so I grab his phone from his hand, instantly making him look at me with complete anger.

“Dom! You fucker! Give me that back!” Aaron shouts.

“Where’s the keys to the motorcycle?” I ask him again.

“It’s with that idiot Angelo. He’s inside,” Aaron finally answers, so I quickly hand him his phone back before barging inside their house where his sister was watching television.

“Hey, Dom. Gelo’s in the restroom,” Gelo’s youngest, Kimberly, tells me before I could even ask her.

I rush to the restroom where the door’s lock was broken. I’ve always been aware that Gelo only uses a shoelace to keep the door closed, so I aggressively push the door open, revealing Gelo who’s busy taking a shower.

“Holy shit! Dom, are you crazy?!” Gelo shouts as he immediately covers his lower area with the tabo (something like a dipper)  that he’s already holding.

“We’ve taken a bath together since we were toddlers. And you’ve done this to me too, so suck it up,” I defended as Gelo washes the soap out of his eyes. “Now let me borrow your motorcycle keys. It’s an emergency.”

“Where the hell are you going? Don’t you have a birthday party?”

“Yeah, I’m coming back eventually. I just need to go somewhere. Just explain to Mama that something came up and I need to go to Aries’s house. I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I tell him, and Gelo sighs, almost like he already guessed that this was about my boyfriend.

Without saying anything, Gelo points at his pants that are hanging behind the door. I immediately grabbed the keys from his pocket and thanked him. I then grab the helmet before running right back outside.

I wore the helmet, hopped on the motorcycle, and immediately drove to Aries’s house without wasting any more seconds. I’m not the type to be worried like this, except for when something happens to Mama, so I haven’t gotten the chance to keep calm during such a situation. I don’t even know why I’m acting like this, to be honest. I don’t know if I’m just worried about Aries or maybe it’s because I’m just more worried about that guy Iñigo. I already told myself that I’d ignore his past with my boyfriend and just be civil with him at work, but then he pulls such an idiotic stunt.

Why on earth is he waiting outside Aries’s house? Wasn’t he the one who broke up with Aries in the first place? And now that I think about it, why did Aries look so sad when I mentioned Iñigo last time? Or rather, he looked more scared than sad. Did something happen between them in the past? Did Iñigo do something else other than break up with him?

But if I analyze it a little more, Iñigo seems to have worked in the Red Light Bar for a long time now, probably around the same time Jack was around. Jack is literally 36 years old, and Madam Scarlet doesn’t hire minors. Does that mean that Iñigo was around his 30’s when he dated Aries, and Aries was around 19 or 20? What on earth is that fucker doing with someone that young? The more I think about it, the more my blood starts boiling even more.

I’ve always thought that I’m finally able to understand and crack Aries’s code when we officially became together, but that wasn’t the case at all. It was far from that. There’s still so much I don’t know about Aries and his past.

What did Iñigo do with him before he met me?

And what the fuck is Iñigo doing now?

“Aries, I’m a few blocks away from your house. You should get ready,” I tell Aries from the other line.

“Okay, I’ll head downstairs,” he answers before ending the call.

After one last turn, I finally arrive at the Buan residence. Aries’s car was parked outside, but then another car was parked on the other side of the road. It was obvious that someone was waiting inside, but I couldn’t really see who it is since the windows are tinted.

“ That must be Iñigo, “ I whisper as I park the bike behind Aries’s car. I got off and quickly ran to the gate and started ringing the doorbell. It took a minute, but Aries heads out of the house soon after, wearing a cap and a pair of dark shades, and then runs to the gate to welcome me.

“Dom, let’s go. Hurry,” Aries says as he closes the gate behind him.

“Alright, come on,” I answer as I drape my arm around his shoulder to protect him. But as I touch him, I instantly notice that his body is actually trembling. And as soon as I felt such fear in him, my blood instantly starts boiling.

I try to calm myself down as I lead Aries to the bike. I opened the compartment and handed him the other helmet, but right when Aries is about to wear it, a hand suddenly grabs him and pulls him away from me.

“Aries,” a low voice calls out, instantly making me turn around to face the stranger. “Aries, please, let’s just talk for a second. I just need to explain something to you.”

A man appears right before me with his hand grabbing hold of Aries’s arm. He’s taller, bigger, and way older than I am. His presence was so intimidating too that I almost backed away, but I stood my ground and instantly push him off Aries so he could let go of him.

“Who the hell are you?” I ask as the man I’m assuming is Iñigo, looks down at me with eyes that instantly made me gulp. How is this man so intimidating? I’m starting to understand why Aries seems so scared of him.

“I should be asking you the same question, kid,” Iñigo then says back.

Damn, Madam Scarlet, where the hell did you even get this man?

“Knowing who I am isn’t important. What’s important here is that Aries doesn’t want to speak with you. So scram and get the fuck out,” I retaliate.

Iñigo looked like he was going to add something to what I said, but I suddenly felt Aries’s hand squeezing my arm. “ Dom, let’s just go, “ he then whispers, so I take a deep breath and try to think rationally. This isn’t the time to be engaging with this man. I have to get Aries out of here as soon as possible. That’s my top priority right now.

“Let’s just go,” I say as Aries finally wears the helmet. I glance at Iñigo again who’s clearly staring down at me from head to toe, but he doesn’t say anything else and just lets us go. So I quickly adjusted the helmet on my head and got on the motorcycle before finally driving Aries away from his crazy ex.

I couldn’t help but glance at the side view mirror where Iñigo was still standing in the same spot, staring at us like he was planning something. I couldn’t help but grip the motorcycle’s handlebar in complete frustration. That wasn’t even a full-on confrontation, but I already felt so small around him. I felt like I couldn’t protect Aries properly, and that angers me so much.

But while I’m filled with these ugly feelings of anger and frustration, Aries suddenly wraps his arm around my waist before leaning his head on my back. “Thank you for coming to get me, Dom,” he says to me, and the warmth he gave me was enough to clear my head from all the doubt. I guess this is just the beginning of the ups and downs of our relationship. I obviously don’t know what Aries and I are gonna face in the future. But as long as I know that Aries will continue to hold onto me tight like this, I can confront even the biggest assholes if I have to, just to ensure my moon is safe and sound.

…

“ Aries, I’m going to work now ,“ I whisper to Aries whose still sleeping on my bed. Aries slowly opens his eyes as I lean forward to give him a kiss on his head. “ Just sleep in. I’ll see you tomorrow, “ I then whisper, and Aries grabs me and pulls me close to give me another kiss on my lips this time.

“ How about Iñigo? Will you be okay? Promise me you won’t engage in anything with him. If you can, just ignore him, “ He then says.

I smile at him and brush his hair back with my finger, assuring him that I’m going to be alright. “ Don’t worry about me and just go back to bed. “

“ Okay. Belated happy birthday again, babe. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, “ Aries then says, and I look down at his naked body before pulling the covers to hide the love marks I left all over him.

Aries goes back to sleep as I head out of the bedroom.

Yesterday was a mix of worry and joy. Worry because I finally got to face Iñigo for the first time and just literally got overpowered by him even though he haven’t done anything yet. And joy because despite my encounter with Aries’s ex, I was able to celebrate my birthday with the people I’m closest with.

Justin, Vicki, and even Gelo went home at 3:00 AM in the morning because we ended up drinking and singing all night. Art obviously wanted to go home early, but Gelo was too much of a bad influence so he was able to make Art stay till 11:00 PM, which was his maximum curfew hour. Aries told us that if he went home just an hour later, he would have no doubt been scolded by their parents.

When everyone else left, Aries, on the other hand, stayed behind. And because we were both drunk and because he insisted on giving me a birthday gift, we ended up having sex for the remaining time I had left before heading to work. It’s a miracle that Mama wasn’t able to hear us because I literally had to cover Aries’s mouth the entire time.

That’s why right now, besides the insane hangover that I have, my sexual drive is still off the roof. If I think of Aries just for a second, a bulge is definitely gonna appear on my pants, and I don’t want to have a boner on the day I finally get to meet Iñigo at the bar.

Or you know what, maybe it’s a good thing that I’ll have one. That way I’ll get to tell Iñigo that I was having crazy sex with Aries all morning. Now let’s see if he’ll still be able to look down on me like he did yesterday.

Sounds like a—

Wait, Domingo M. Adlawan, what the hell are you even thinking? That’s the most fucked up thing you could ever think of. There’s no way I’m gonna talk about Aries in such a way. The things we do should only be kept private, even if sometimes it would feel satisfying to rub it in his ex’s face.

Let’s not act like a lunatic here.

“Good evening, Sunday,” Big Joe, our trusty bouncer, greets me when I finally arrived at the bar.

“Evening, Big J,” I greet him back before finally heading inside the bar.

When I got there, I realize that all the lights are actually turned off. I thought the others still hasn’t arrived, but as I got closer to the stage, the lights suddenly turn on and confetti starts flying everywhere. The employees were also on stage, and there was a sign in front that said, “ Happy Sunday! “

“Happy birthday, Sunday!” The employees shout as the confetti continues to fall down my face. Everyone was there: Madam Scarlet, Gin, Jack, Flo, Willow, and the other Stage, Floor, and Table Employees. I wasn’t expecting a surprise from them, so I couldn’t remove the ridiculously big smile that was on my face as I stare back at them.

“Guys! What’s going on?!” I ask as Jack and the others approach me to give me a hug.

“We’re a day late, but happy birthday, Sunday. Everyone in the bar pitched in to buy this for you as a present,” Gin then explains as Jack hands me a small box.

I take the box from his hand as everyone starts encouraging me to open it. So I did open it, and when I tell you that I was left speechless, I was left fucking speechless. These guys just literally gifted me the latest phone!

“We noticed that your old phone is already cracked, so we thought this is the best present we can give you,” Flo explains.

“You guys are too much. I’m actually hesitant to accept such an extravagant gift, but thank you. I’m gonna put this to good use and brag about it to my friends,” I say, making them laugh.

“Happy birthday, Dom,” Madam Scarlet then says as she reaches out to give me a tight hug as well. “You’ve only been here for a couple of months, but you’re like a family to us now. And whether you like it or not, you’re the baby of this family, so whatever happens, we’re here for you.”

“Thank you, Scarlet,” I say as I lean over to give Madam Scarlet a kiss on her cheek before turning to the others who were looking back at me with genuine smiles on their faces. I guess I didn’t think much about it in the past, but it seems like I found another home with them too. “Thank you, everyone. I really, really appreciate it,” I then tell them, and they immediately start surrounding me for a group hug.

But while I was enjoying the moment with everyone, someone suddenly entered the bar, immediately making all of us turn to see who it was.

“Oh, were we surprising the new kid today? I totally forgot,” a familiar voice says.

Jack and the others move away from me, and there I finally saw the same man I encountered yesterday at Aries’s house. So I was right, he was Iñigo after all.

“Iñigo you bastard. You’re late,” Jack scolds.

“And are you fucking drunk again? I can smell your breath from a mile away,” Gin then says, and Iñigo just laughs it off while scratching the back of his head.

“Give me some slack, I just got back from Japan the other day so I’ve been having a little fun here and there,” Iñigo answers. “Now where’s the new kid? You’ve all been praising him since I got here so I’ve been really curious to meet him,”

“He’s here,” Madam Scarlet then says, and Iñigo finally turns to look at me.

At first he seemed confused, but then a smirk appears on his face, a smirk that almost made all the hair on my skin stand. He definitely remembers me from yesterday. He definitely remembers.

Is he gonna say anything? Is he gonna ask about Aries? What is he gonna do?

“So you’re the famous Mister Sunday that everyone’s been talking about,” Iñigo says as he walks closer to me. “Looks like they were right, you are a handsome one. Michael got a jackpot from you,” he then says. And the fact that he even calls Madam Scarlet by her real name only shows how close they really are.

“Nice to meet you, Sunday. And, of course, happy birthday,” Iñigo then says as he shows me his hand to shake it.

I stare at his hand and decide not to take it instead. Everyone instantly becomes awkward after that, and they probably thought I was being rude, even though I actually was. But thankfully Jack was there to the rescue.

“Dom, you okay? Looks like you got starstruck. This is Iñigo, the guy we mentioned to you before. He just got back from Japan so he’s oozing with charisma right now. Don’t worry, he doesn’t bite…most of the time,” Jack says before turning to Iñigo next. “And you, don’t go hitting on him. You know the rules here. We don’t involve ourselves with relationship drama. This guy is in a very serious relationship, so he’s off limits.”

“Really now?” Iñigo asks, looking back at me again with those eyes that he had yesterday. Those eyes that looked down on me, almost like he was certain that I’m not a threat to him at all.

“Anyway, it’s already 6:00 PM. Everyone get ready so we can open the bar. Chop-chop,” Madam Scarlet then says, and everyone immediately went back to their work so they can prepare for the opening later.

I quickly turn away from Iñigo so I don’t have to interact with him. But as I got to the backstage where the lockers are, Iñigo enters the room too with Willow and Jack.

Of course, he’s a table employee too. He just has to be.

“Yeah, we had sex all night, but it was too boring. I had to make excuses and told him I had something to do, but the truth is I just wanted to get out of there,” I overhear Iñigo say as I put my things inside the locker.

“Oh, Dom, you’re here,” Willow then says when the three of them approach the lockers too. “Perfect timing. Madam Scarlet told me to prepare a different suit for you since it’s your birthday. Let me help you get ready.”

“You know, how about I do it instead?” Iñigo then suggests, surprising me. “I want to get to know our new member more, so I think this is a great opportunity.”

“Really? Then his suit is near the vanity. The one with the silver hanger,” Willow then explains as he and Jack left to prepare for their own clothes for tonight’s gig.

What is this bastard thinking now?

“Dom, right? Come on, let me help you with your clothes,” Iñigo says as he walks towards the area where all the costumes can be found. I honestly didn’t want to come with him, but I also didn’t want to be considered a bitch either, so with a heavy heart, I followed him there.

“You know, you’re younger than I thought. When Michael and the others told me about you, I thought you were a little older, but I guess this line of work is easy money for someone with a face like yours, so I don’t blame you for trying this out,” Iñigo explains as he grabs the suit that the others prepared for me.

Iñigo pulls the suit out from the bag. It was a red suit that didn’t have a white shirt inside. Iñigo stares at it for a while before turning to me and staring at me again. “Guess this is fine,” he says. “Now just take your clothes off so I can—”

“What the fuck’s your problem?” I finally ask, and the smug look on Iñigo’s face instantly changes into a much more serious one.

The two of us were quiet, but after a while, Iñigo sighs and brushes his hair back with his fingers like he was annoyed. “Well, what a shame. And here I thought you were gonna pretend like you don’t know who I am. I was honestly going to do the same, but now that you’re being so direct, then I guess it’s fine.”

Iñigo pulls a flask from his pocket and takes a sip of it before taking a seat. “I never thought Aries would actually settle with someone else. To be honest, he was so innocent when he first visited the bar. He was timid and unsure, but after a while, he was able to express himself better. I guess you should thank me for that, and for the sex too. I thought him everything I know. I was—”

“Shut the fuck up,” I quickly say, trying to hold myself back so I don’t end up throwing a punch at him. “Don’t fucking talk about Aries like that.”

“Like what?” Iñigo asks back even though I knew that he perfectly understood what I meant. “I’m just being honest. Besides, I know Aries better than anyone. And, not to be rude to you or anything, but I still am very much in love with him. That’s why I went to their house yesterday. I wanted to explain that I broke up with him because I was scared. At that time I was also heading to Japan, so I didn’t want him to wait for me.”

“You’ve got some nerve to say such a thing,” I tell him, remembering the fear in Aries’s eyes when we encountered him yesterday. “You know Aries better? Don’t fuck with me. You don’t know him at all.”

“Why, do you? Aries is secretive, but he’s clingy, and you’ll eventually get tired of that. No one else can handle him but me. He’ll eventually get tired of you too because he likes it when the relationship is thrilling and wild. If I were you, I’d break up with him now before he breaks up with me first. It’s less painful that way, “ Iñigo says, and I finally lost control as I grab him by the collar, forcing him to stand from his seat so he can properly face me.

He drops his flask on the floor and tries pulling my hand away from him, but he couldn’t. Looks like those big muscles are all for show. My father forced me to do boxing when he found out I was gay because he thought it would straighten me up. It obviously did nothing, but I still learned a life skill so I guess it wasn’t worthless after all.

“Grabbing the senior you just met? That’s a bit rude of you, Dom,” Iñigo says, obviously trying to make light of this situation,

“I’m only holding myself back because I promised Aries that I won’t waste my time with a scum like you. But if you ever mention his name here again, and if you ever approach him again, I’m gonna show you how rude I can really be.”

I stare back at him straight in his eyes before finally letting go of his collar. I then grab my suit and walk towards the door to take my leave. But just as I’m about to turn the doorknob, Iñigo stops me and says, “Aries doesn’t need a kid like you. He needs someone who’s mature. Someone who can properly take care of him.”

“And you think you’re that someone? Don’t be so full of yourself.”

“Has he ever said ‘I love you’ to you before?” He then asks, and that particular question pissed me off because I wasn’t able to give an immediate answer to it, and because of that, a stupid grin appeared on Iñigo’s face again, almost like he was telling me that he won.

“You might have become everyone’s favorite in this bar, and you might have gotten Aries, but you’re not gonna last long. You’re only gonna get hurt, Dom. Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Iñigo says as I finally open the door.

“You know what our biggest difference is, Iñigo? I trust Aries. You can talk all you want and tell me how you’ve known him longer than I did, but at the end of the day, I’m the one he chose, not you. So go ahead and fucking suck that,” I angrily say as I finally walk out of the door, trying my best not to show that asshole that I’m not affected by him at all.

If he wants to challenge me then bring it on.

If he thinks I’m gonna back out then he’s dead wrong.

If he thinks I’m a kid then I’ll show him childish.

And if he’s going low, then I’m going lower.

The universe is vast, but it still made a path for me and Aries to meet. If Iñigo believes that he can just barge in and ruin the perfect path that’s been laid out for us, then I’ll do everything I can to make him realize how blinding the sun can really be.

end.

(45) Added Insecurity

“SO WHEN DID YOU return from Japan?” I overhear a customer asking Iñigo while I serve beer to the other table. Iñigo, who irritatingly wore a simple black tuxedo but still oozed with so much charisma, smiled at the customers like a pro with his handsome face and perfect teeth. It almost made me accidentally spill the drinks I was holding toward his head to ruin his perfectly waxed hair just because it irritated me.

“I arrived a few days ago, so I’m still not used to the weather here even though I’ve only been gone for two years. But one thing’s for sure. I definitely missed the men here. You all became very attractive while I was away,” Iñigo says, and the guys at his table cheer as they’re completely fooled by his sweet words. 

They clink their bottles together, spilling the beer on the floor as they start chugging the alcohol down.

Now I feel sorry for the Floor Employees who will eventually clean that sticky floor later. I’m particularly more empathetic towards them since I’ve been a FE before I became a TE, and sticky floors are the worse.

“So, while I was away, who were you guys requesting?” Iñigo then asks as I walk my way back to the bar.

“At first, we were requesting Jack. But you know Jack, he’s way too booked. But when Mr. Sunday came in, we’ve been requesting for him instead. He was new, but he’s been so amazing to us, and he’s such a handsome boy to look at,” one of the customers then answers.

“Oh, so he likes to take my leftovers,” Iñigo suddenly jokes, making the customers laugh with him while I clench my fist in irritation. But as the other guys were playfully scolding him for saying they were  leftovers , Iñigo suddenly turned to me with a smirk. This asshole definitely made sure that I heard him say that. And he was definitely not just talking about his customers.

“That was a joke, Sunday. No hard feelings,” Iñigo then says, and I fake a smile before rushing to the bar where Gin is.

“ I fucking hate that guy, “ I mumble to myself as I place the empty tray on the bar counter. Gin stares at me as I take a seat in front of him, and then he snaps his fingers at me so I can finally turn my head to look at him.

“If you stare too long, he might end up levitating,” Gin says as he hands me a glass of water.

I thank him for the drink before chugging the water down to calm my nerve. “Is it that obvious?” I then ask, making Gin chuckle.

“Sunday, I can literally feel you staring at Iñigo like you’re planning to murder him. What’s the problem? Did he say anything? Did he do anything to you?” Gin then asks, and I glance back at Iñigo, who’s still laughing with his customers, before looking back at Gin.

Do I tell him about the dispute I have with him regarding Aries? Will that cause more problems than solving anything?

I guess I should look through the situation first before I start telling people about the man I’m dating, who just so happened to be Iñigo’s ex too. I love the guys in this bar, but as much as I hate to admit it, Iñigo has been here way longer than I came in. If things become messy, I’m not sure what will happen to me, and I can’t lose this job yet.

“He’s way too charismatic. He’s taking my customers, and I haven’t even gotten a request yet,” I lied, which instantly made Gin laugh. I’m not sure if he’s laughing because he knows that I’m lying or maybe because he thinks that what I said is completely childish. Or maybe even both.

“So our birthday boy is jealous of the attention the new guy is getting?” Gin teases, making me sigh.

“I’m not jealous,” I defend, which now seems like I’m really jealous. “Anyway, how old is he? He seems like an expert in this job,” I ask next.

Gin stares at Iñigo and thinks about it for a while. “I think he’s a year or two older than Jack, so around 37 or 38. The bar has been around for thirteen years now, and the first people who were with us were those two. The four of us met in Japan, and when Michael and I decided to open this bar, they came with us.”

Holy hell, he’s around 38 years old?! What is with these older guys getting into relationships with people almost half their age? Sed too with Greg. Are they engaging with them because they know they can control them? Do they just prefer it when they’re younger?

I’ve noticed this too back in our streets. Some of the older gays in our neighborhood would hit on the college students and, in worse cases, even minors as young as 15 and 16, or sometimes younger. It’s concerning because they’d offer money for sexual activities with these literal kids. I’ve always been cautious with this since some of them know I’m gay too. Thankfully my dad was a tough man when I was growing up, so no one really got their hands on me. One thing to make me hate him less, I guess.

“Iñigo can actually open up his own bar if he wanted to with the amount of money he already has, but he insisted on coming back here. It’s a win for us anyway, so it’s fine,” Gin explains, which angered me even more because not only is he handsome, he’s rich too. Now I have more reasons to be insecure about him.

“Is Iñigo in a relationship or something?” I ask next.

“I don’t think he is. He’s not the type to be in anything serious.”

“So he’s single?”

“Probably.”

“Are you sure?”

“Sunday, what’s with these questions? You’re making me worried now,” Gin then catches on, and I just laugh it off as a response. “If you’re so curious, why not ask him instead? Iñigo can be a little intimidating at times, but he’s really friendly,” Gin says, almost making me snort.

Iñigo? A little intimidating? I don’t think so. That man stares right into my soul like the devil. And he literally threatened me into stealing Aries like he’s some kind of item one can possess. There’s just something about him that irks me.

“Sed! You’re back!” I overhear Iñigo then say.

I got up from my seat, and I watched Iñigo run to Sed to give him a hug. It seems like he’s gonna steal even my most loyal customer. Seriously, did this man originally serve all my customers in the past? He’s definitely gonna make me feel even more inferior, and my confidence and my inferiority don’t sit well together.

“Come on, let me take you to a table,” Iñigo suggests as he tries leading Sed to our usual spot.

I sigh and head back to my seat, a little embarrassed that I don’t have anyone to table tonight, especially since I’m usually the most booked besides Jack. But it’s not like I can do anything about it. Maybe I can just wait outside the bar like my first week as a TE and call in new customers. Hopefully, I don’t encounter customers like Jonah.

“Gin, I’ll stand outside and—”

“Thanks for the offer, Iñigo, but I’m here to table someone else. You’re no longer my favorite, you know?” I overhear Sed say. Gin then looks at me and pushes me forward, encouraging me to take my customer from Iñigo’s hand.

“Looks like you’re customer is looking for you,” Gin says with a smile, so I smile back and run to Sed. Thank you, Dr. Sedrick Chua! You definitely did not disappoint me tonight. I knew I could count on you.

“Sed! You’re here,” I call out as I approach him and Iñigo.

Iñigo lets go of Sed’s hand as Sed runs to my side to give me a hug. “Sunday! Happy birthday! I saw the pictures you posted with your friends yesterday. Why didn’t you invite me to the party?” Sed then asks.

“Come on, Sed, I would have been too embarrassed to call you,” I reply, and Sed laughs and hugs me again.

“Oh please, Sunday. You’re more than just a TE I request in this bar, and you know that. Now come on, let’s get a table. I brought all my friends tonight, and we’re gonna milk this bar dry so we can celebrate,” Sed says, pulling my hand to the table with the rest of his friends. 

While walking with him, my petty ass turns to Iñigo to give him a smirk. And the look on Iñigo’s face showed that he was definitely annoyed by that.

Looks like I won this round this time.

Sed arrived at the bar like a lucky omen because after I tabled him, a couple of my other customers started coming in with gifts. I received expensive perfumes, branded shirts, and even a watch. One of my customers also bought a cake so the whole bar started singing me a happy birthday. I don’t know how I’m gonna explain to Mama how I got all these things overnight, so I’ll just have to hide this under my bed for the time being. I don’t want her to think I’m actually a theft in the night.

“Seven…eight…night…ten…eleven…twelve!?” I shouted after counting all the tips I made tonight. “This is the most I’ve earned.”

“Wait till it’s Christmas. Some of us even earn twenty thousand worth of tips during that holiday,” another TE named Reid explains as he stands beside me in the lockers.

“I’m gonna thank my mom for giving me this face,” I say as I hide the money in my bag while Reid laughs.

“That’s what we call pretty privilege,” Reid adds before closing his locker and patting my shoulder. “I’ll head out first. See you tomorrow Dom, and happy birthday again.”

“Thanks, Reid. Drive home safely!”

Reid waves goodbye and leaves the room. I immediately start changing my clothes so I can finally head back home. Afterward, I lowered my head to stare at the ton of gifts I received from my customers. I don’t know how I’ll be able to carry all these home, but I’ll just have to manage. After all, problematizing about carrying gifts people have given is such a first-world problem, and I’ve never experienced that before.

I shove all the gifts inside a large paper bag hidden inside one of the cabinets so I can carry them all at once. “Alright, now how am I gonna explain to my mom I bought a seventy-thousand peso phone?” I ask next. But as I’m staring at my new phone, the door to the dressing room suddenly opens, revealing the man I did not want to see at all, Iñigo.

Iñigo spots me, but I ignore him completely because I don’t want to hear him talk about Aries like Aries is some kind of toy he used to play with in the past. I don’t want to end up getting into an actual fistfight with him.

“ Time to go home, “ I whisper to myself as I walk towards the exit with the paper bag at hand. But as I approach the door, my old phone suddenly vibrates. I pull the phone out and see that it’s actually Aries. I glance at Iñigo first, who’s also changing his clothes, and then answer the call. “Hey, why’d you call? I just finished work and am heading out of the bar now.”

“Dom, I’m actually outside the bar now. I just parked a little further away for extra measure. Can you walk to where I am? I’m parked beside the bank just a few blocks away from Red Light,” Aries explains, surprising me. He’s not supposed to come get me today. Did something happen again? Or is he just checking on something?

“Well yeah, of course. I’ll be there,” I answer before ending the call and shoving my phone back into my pocket.

“Aries knows you work here?” Iñigo suddenly asks as I grab the doorknob, surprised that he even realized that I was talking to him.

I stop and think about it for a while. But instead of answering him, I just walked out of the room, completely ignoring his question. Aries is right. There’s no need for me to engage with him. I should just—

“Dom,” someone behind me suddenly calls out. I turn around and spot Iñigo walking towards me again with a serious look on his face. It instantly made me sigh and stop from my heels.

“What the hell do you want now? Can’t you see I’m ignoring you?” I ask as Iñigo takes a step forward, the look in his eyes once again making me feel inferior.

“Let me talk to Aries. Just let me talk to him once, and then I’ll never say anything again,” Iñigo asks, and I think he’s an idiot for thinking that I’m going to say yes to this. Aries was so scared of him. Does he think I’ll just let him walk right at him like some kind of idiot? Hell no. I’m not gonna be the guy to do such a thing to my own boyfriend.

“If he wanted to talk to you, he’s gonna talk to you. You said it yourself, right? That he needs someone like you and not me. So if you’re not confident with it, then that’s not my problem,” I say before turning away from him.

“I asked you, Dom. Remember that. Whatever I do now shouldn’t concern you anymore,” Iñigo then says as I finally walk out of the bar.

I try not to get to him as I walk my way to Aries’s car. I was still pretty pissed that Iñigo still walked over me like he had everything planned. But as I try my best not to get too frustrated, Aries spots me from his car. And as soon as our eyes meet, he immediately smiles and waves at me, instantly making my anger and annoyance toward Iñigo disappear.

I open the back of his car and place my things there before taking a seat in the passenger’s beside Aries.

“Morning, babe,” he greets me before leaning close to give me a quick kiss on the lips. “How was work? And where on earth did you get all those things? Did the customers give them to you?”

“Yeah, they’re gifts. And look, the guys at work even bought me this,” I say, showing Aries the phone Gin and the others bought for me.

“Wait, seriously? They bought that for you?”

“Yeah, they’re the best. But can you help me set this up when we get home? It’s my first time owning this type of phone, so I don’t know how to use it yet,” I then tell him, and Aries smiles and reaches out to brush my hair back with his slender fingers before nodding his head.

“You look tired,” he then tells me.

“I’m fine,” I simply answer, and Aries sighs before nodding his head again.

Aries starts driving. I stare at my phone for a second and hide it again. It wasn’t even my intention, but when I looked out of the window, I suddenly remembered what Iñigo told me earlier at the bar. I said I wasn’t gonna let his word get to me, but here I am now, thinking about him like I’m in love with him. Is this what he does? Is he so good at manipulating people like this?

“ Has he ever said ‘I love you’ to you before? “ Iñigo asks me earlier. And the question bugged me so much that I turned to Aries and asked him, “Aries, you love me, right?”

“What?” He asked back with such a shocked expression that it instantly made me laugh. I don’t know if he was that shocked because it was such a stupid question, or he could have been so shocked because we hadn’t gone past the ’ like’  stage yet, and love  can be a little intense. We’ve only been dating for only a month, after all.

“S-Sorry, I know. That was stupid,” I answer, and Aries looks back at me with the same worried expression he’d give me whenever something happens.

“Dom, what’s going on? Did something happen? Did Deric say anything to you?” Aries suddenly asks, making me furrow my brows in confusion.

“Deric? Who on earth is—” I paused when I saw the look on Aries’s face, and then I started laughing again. Of course. Iñigo is his stage name at the bar. Aries probably called him by his real name when they were together. He must have said it so many times that the name just naturally slid out of his mouth.

Well, shit. Now I’m even more pissed off for some reason.

Jealousy seriously does not suit me.

“Dom…”

“Aries, I think I’m just a little out of it today, so I’m going to take a quick nap. Wake me up when we’re back home,” I tell him instead.

I can sense Aries staring back at me, but I don’t dare turn around to face him. I’m very much aware that my frustrated feelings are caused by Iñigo or Deric or whatever his name is, so I don’t want this frustration to suddenly shift to Aries even though he did nothing wrong.

“Aries…if Iñigo ever calls you, or if he ever meets up with you, tell me, okay? That’s the least you can do for me as your boyfriend. And as your boyfriend, the least I can do for you is to trust you on this, right?” I ask, and the awkward silence between us returns. But despite the quiet atmosphere that I once feared in the past, Aries nods his head in response, and that’s the only thing I’ll need for the time being.

…

“I can’t believe you bought a new phone. What did your mom say?” Vicki asks as we’re carrying our trays back to the counter so we can head to our next class.

“She was mad, but I told her that I’m paying for it monthly. She doesn’t really have a choice either way since I already have it,” I lie to my friends, but that’s actually what I told Mama the other day when she saw the phone. I told her that I was paying in installments. Obviously, she got mad, but I told her that this was the birthday gift I bought for myself, so she didn’t say anything after that. As for the other gifts, I hid them under my bed, and hopefully, Mama doesn’t find them. If she does so happen to stumble upon them, I’ll just say that Aries bought all those things for me. It’s the worse excuse, but it’s the best I can do for now.

“Finals are coming up, and we’re finally having our semestral break. It’s the only thing I’m excited for,” Justin then says.

“You’re always excited for the holidays. It’s nothing new,” Vicki then says, and the two of them start arguing again.

I take a deep breath and reach out for my phone to check any messages, but there aren’t any. After the incident, when I got jealous of Iñigo just because Aries calls him by his real name, I’ve been avoiding Aries like a total asshole. I don’t know why, but every time I see Aries, I remember the look in Iñigo’s eyes. I’ve never felt so insecure in my life. He made me feel like I didn’t deserve Aries, and I hated that.

So for the past three days, Iñigo has been tormenting my head like the plague. It’s fucking frustrating, but I’m too guilty to even speak to Aries and explain to him what I’m going through. I’m afraid that he’ll just tell me to ignore him and move on because deep down, I want Aries to reassure me instead, even though he doesn’t have to. My insecurity is making me feel like I’ll never be able to level with Aries because I’ve always been aware of that from the very beginning.

Aries is smart, rich, and has the future laid out for him. And me, what on earth can I give him? Our relationship isn’t just for show. I want a future with him, but every time I see Iñigo, I end up realizing that maybe the future I’m planning isn’t as bright as I thought it would be.

Because, unlike Iñigo, I’m just a freshman college student who works at a gay bar with nothing else but a pretty face.

“By the way, do you guys have any plans this Christmas?” Vicki suddenly asks as we walk out of the cafeteria.

“Let’s see. I think my family is heading to the province since my grandmother lives there,” Justin answers before pushing Vicki off him.

“Same,” Vicki answers next. “How about you, Art?”

“You guys are heading to the US, right? Since most of your family is there,” I answer for him, which is something that I shouldn’t have done because as soon as I said it, Vicki and Justin looked surprised. I completely forgot that Aries was the one who told me about that and not Art.

“I mean, you told me about it during your mom’s birthday, right, Art?” I ask, and thankfully Art supports the lie and nods his head in reply.

While the four of us are walking down the hallway, a senior suddenly runs in our direction at full speed. It was the student council secretary, Jesse, who so happens to be Aries’s closest friend too.

“Arthur!” Jesse suddenly calls out, instantly making the four of us stop walking. As soon as she stops in front of us, Jesse catches her breath and says, “I’m sorry to call you like this, but I think your brother is in trouble.”

“What?!” Art and I shout in unison.

“I think he needs you,” Jesse then says before glancing at me, and at that moment, I instantly understood that Jesse wasn’t talking to Art but to me instead. She just didn’t want others to notice.

“Art, you should head to your brother first. We’ll save you a seat,” Justin says.

“Dom, you should accompany Art just in case,” Vicki then adds before pushing me.

I nod at Vicki as a sign of thanks, and then Art and I finally follow Jesse to where Aries is. 

I couldn’t help but be worried because the first thing that popped into my head was his crazy ex, who couldn’t seem to move on from the kid he dated and broke up with. But I didn’t want to think of the worst-case scenario. Iñigo is mature, as he claimed. There’s no way he’s going to our school and make a scandal here just so he can speak to Aries. 

There’s just no way.

I simply didn’t want to believe it, but as soon as we arrived at the gate, all my reason just came flying out of the window. Because right outside the gate was Iñigo holding onto Aries’s arm. He was pulling him toward his car, but Aries didn’t want to come with him at all. The guards at the gate weren’t even doing anything, so without even thinking about it, I ran to the two of them and pulled Aries away. 

As soon as Iñigo lets go of him, and as soon as I see the terrified look on Aries’s face, I clench my fist in a complete rage. And before anyone could stop me, my fist made its first contact with Iñigo’s jaw.

The people around us gasp as Iñigo stumbles backward, blood already oozing out of his nose as he looks back at me with shock. He tries to make a comeback by grabbing my arm, but I quickly dodge him before grabbing him by the collar instead so I can look directly into his face.

“And here I was getting worried at the fact that I can never be half the man you are, but I was wrong. You’re a piece of shit. I told you never to show your face to Aries, didn’t I?! I was being nice to you because of Gin and Madam Scarlet, but you’ve done it now. Just leave us the fuck alone! When are you gonna fucking realize that Aries is mine!” I shout at the top of my lungs, the adrenaline taking over before I can even stop myself.

Iñigo was too shocked even to speak, but after a couple of seconds, the fog in my head cleared up, and I finally realized what I just said.

“ Shit, “ I whisper under my breath as I slowly let go of Iñigo’s collar.

I look around and see students already surrounding us. Some even had their phones out, which means they were definitely taking a video. I then turn to look at Aries, but before I can even see his reaction, he grabs my hand and pulls me away from the crowd instead.

The two of us started running away from the scene. And as we were running, Aries squeezed my hand as a sign of comfort. And that was the only reassurance that I needed for me to realize that even with all these insecurities, Aries would be there to remind me that I was the one he chose. And even if I can’t give him anything now, I know that he will still be there for me in the future.

For our  future.

end.

(46) Let’s Be Honest

AFTER RUNNING A MILE, Aries and I arrived at a park just in front of a church. We were panting heavily, holding onto our hands and our chests as we tried catching our breaths.

“A-Aries, I fucked up,” I told him. “I should have kept my cool, but I just blew things out of proportion. Now things are in a bigger mess,” I continued to say as he let go of my hand. The video that was posted last time already created such a buzz. Now the stunt I made would definitely be the talk of the entire university.

“What do we do?”

I looked up at Aries to check on his reaction, but as soon as our eyes met, Aries started laughing. “‘Aries is mine!’ You seriously just shouted that in front of everyone,” he said while laughing his pants off. I don’t know if he’s mocking me or if he really thought the whole situation was funny.

“Aries…”

“That is the most romantic and the hottest thing someone has ever done for me. I thought I was in a movie,” Aries then stated, making me furrow my brows in confusion before slowly clenching my fist.

“Aries, you seriously think this is funny?” I seriously told him, and Aries finally stopped laughing. “A grown-ass man was trying to fucking kidnap you, and the first thing you think about is that?” I then scolded, instantly making Aries look down in shame.

“Dom, I’m sorry,” Aries apologized.

I took a deep breath and massaged my temple to calm down. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be getting mad at you for this. We should call the cops first so this doesn’t happen again,” I then said as I pulled my phone out from my pocket, but Aries immediately stopped me.

“We don’t need to get the cops involved,” Aries insisted.

“Why? That asshole might come to our school again, and we don’t know if—”

“I called him,” Aries suddenly revealed. “I called him and asked him to meet with me,” Aries then explained further, and everything around me just completely stopped. I felt betrayed. And in that moment, I felt like a devil slapped me on the face, telling me that Iñigo was right. Aries was gonna come back to him eventually.

“The other day, when I picked you up from the bar, I saw the look on your face, and I just knew that Deric said something to you that made you look so troubled. That’s why I called him, so I can tell him to leave you alone.”

“Why would you—”

“But I asked him to go to our campus so Jesse could accompany me, and there would be a lot of witnesses too, but I didn’t know he’d force me to come with him. I thought we were just gonna talk,” Aries tried explaining.

“Aries! What were you thinking?! I already told you that if ends up meeting up with you, you should call me, but you end up calling him instead?! What if we didn’t arrive in time and he actually forced you in his car? What would have happened then?!”

“I-I’m sorry…”

“Stop fucking apologizing!” I then shouted at him, instantly making Aries take a step back. And the shocked look on his face made me curse and massage my head in frustration.

Why is this happening to us now? Everything was fine until that bastard came along. Why did he have to ruin everything? Why did we have to cross paths with him like this?

“Aries, do you know what that asshole tells me when we’re at work? Do you know how small I feel when he’s around? Do you know how angry I feel when he talks about you like you’re a toy he used to play with in the past?” I asked as I looked at Aries, who couldn’t even look me in the eye anymore.

“Why on earth did you think that calling him to meet you was okay?” I asked next, and Aries finally lifted his head to look at me.

“I did it for you, Dom. You never tell me how you really feel. You always say that you have everything covered and that I shouldn’t be worried about you. What else was I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know, Aries. Maybe I got tired of adjusting for you. Maybe, just maybe, I want you to reach out to me even when I don’t tell you to,” I finally told Aries, and the look on his face showed that it was something that he wasn’t expecting to hear.

“This is the real me, Aries. I’m selfish and insecure, and that’s the truth. I’m always acting like I don’t care about petty things or I have everything covered, but I don’t. I’m fucking insecure. Iñigo’s like this successful man who can actually give you a future, and I can’t help but be jealous. But do you know what’s more fucked up? I’m actually more jealous of you,” I finally revealed, surprising Aries even more.

“I’m jealous of how smart you are and how big your house is. I’m jealous that your family is complete and that you can just go to a different country to celebrate Christmas when in the past, my mom and I don’t even have enough money to buy food for noche buena . And I hate it so much that I’m getting jealous of you like this when you did nothing wrong. I hate it because I know that I’m the problem, and I knew that if I said anything, you’d be troubled by it because that’s how selfless you are,” I truthfully told him as my hands started to tremble.

“I never really opened it up or thought about it because I feel so pathetic whenever it’s brought up. And then there’s Iñigo, who kept looking down on me, and I felt so small, and then I started realizing that I have nothing to give you, Aries. I’m just a kid who sells his body in a bar and can only receive nice things from his customers. And I hate it so much that the longer I’m with you, the more I realize that I don’t deserve you,” I said to him, my heart beating so fast that I couldn’t even breathe properly anymore.

But as I looked up to face Aries, I was taken aback when I saw that he was actually crying before I could even shed a tear. And I hated when he did that because I instantly put my guard down. Because despite all the insecurity and jealousy, I love this man so much.

“Why the hell are you crying now?” I asked as I pulled my handkerchief out of my pocket so I could wipe it for him. I then looked around the park, and thankfully, no one was paying us any mind. Now I don’t have to worry about people staring at us.

“Why are you crying?” I asked again.

“It’s because you’re in pain,” he answered, and that answer was so much more than just a simple reply. He didn’t say he was crying because I was angry or because he was scared. He cried because he said I was in pain. It was because I was hurt.

“You’ve been thinking about all these things, and I haven’t even noticed it. I got so used to just staying quiet and running away from other people that I don’t even know what my own boyfriend has been going through,” Aries stated as he took a step closer to me.

“You chose me, Aries, and yet I feel so ashamed that you did,” I then told him, but Aries immediately shook his head before reaching out to touch my face. He wiped the tears streaming down my cheek that I wasn’t even able to notice.

“No, please don’t say that. The truth is, I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you. You’re always so good to me that I just got used to leaning on your shoulder whenever I’m down, but I forgot to offer you mine because I always assumed you’re okay, but you’re clearly not,” Aries said before pulling me close to give me a hug.

“And it angers me that you feel all these things, and I can’t even do anything about it,” he then said, instantly making me rest my chin on his head while he held onto me tightly.

“Stop saying that you don’t have anything to give me when I’m not even asking anything from you. We’re still both in college, we’re still both immature and learning things, and we’re both terrified of our future. But this is the reality, Dom. We’ll build our future together. You’re not alone in this,” Aries said to me, and those were the only words I needed to hear so that all my worries would disappear.

This was Aries’s special ability. He’s able to say the right things that would instantly make me feel better.

“And besides, Deric was a scum even when we were dating. The last person you should be insecure about is him. You’re a hundred times more handsome than him anyway,” he then added, which finally made me laugh.

“Really?”

“Of course you are,” Aries answered as he broke free from the hug so he could stare into my face. “You’re also hardworking, loving, fearsome, and outspoken. You are everything that I am not, and that is why I believe we’re perfect for each other. Don’t you agree?” He asked, making me smile.

I leaned close and got ready to kiss him, but I stopped myself when I realized that we were still in a park. I looked around and then saw a bunch of kids staring at us. They were even teasing us by puckering their lips together, but when they saw that I noticed them, they immediately started running away.

“Alright, we should go,” Aries suggested, and I nodded my head in reply. But as we were about to walk away from the park, the phone in Aries’s pocket started ringing. Aries looked at me before pulling his phone out. The two of us looked at his screen, and as I expected, the caller was Iñigo. Aries was about to end the call, but I stopped him and said, “I think it’s about time we stop running away from him. Do you trust me?”

“Of course,” he answered before giving the phone to me.

I answered the call and then took a deep breath before saying, “Let’s stop playing games. When and where do you want us to meet?”

…

“How are we going to do this?” Aries asked as he drove us to the address that Iñigo sent to him yesterday. “And why on earth did we bring him?” he asked next.

Aries and I turned around to check on Gelo, who was sitting in the back seat holding a remote. I called Gelo for backup. Apart from the fact that both of us grew up in a “loud” street, Gelo also made friends with a couple of dangerous guys who taught him how to handle people. Of course, we’re not actually gonna hurt Iñigo, but if things go down, Gelo’s our trump card.

“Alright, just to be clear, you went to Red Light to explore your sexuality, met him there, and started requesting him. This guy then started hitting on you when you were nineteen years old, and he was thirty-six. You thought he genuinely loved you because he was so passionate and expressive, but when he left to work as an escort in Japan, he broke up with you and told you he didn’t like how you’re a closeted gay, and then after two years he returned and is now forcing you to come back to him. Did I get it all right?” Gelo asked, making me sigh.

“Did you seriously have to repeat all that?”

“What? It’s important information.”

“Whatever. But why on earth do you have a fucking remote?” I then asked, and Gelo tucked the remote in his pants before hiding it under his shirt. He then looked at me with a smirk, almost like he did something mind-blowing, but I couldn’t really tell what it was.

“Now I look like I’m hiding a gun,” Gelo revealed, instantly making Aries and I look back at him with complete shock.

“You got to be kidding me. Leave the fucking remote behind before I hit you with it,” I then told him, and Gelo started complaining, but he still did what I told him to.

“Looks like we’re here,” Aries then stated as he parked the car in front of an apartment where Iñigo asked us to go.

Gelo and I got ready to step out of the car, but then Aries looked back at Gelo and stopped him. “Angelo, can you head out first? I just need to tell Dom something important,” he asked, and Gelo glanced at me before stepping out of the car and leaving us inside so we could talk privately.

Aries took a deep breath and clenched the steering wheel before turning to me. “Dom, before we head inside, I want you to know something. I haven’t really been honest with you when it comes to Iñigo, and I think you deserve to know.”

“What is it?” I asked back, my chest already beating faster than normal because the look on his face showed that whatever he was about to say to me was going to change a lot of things about this situation

“Dom…” Aries said as he tried to arrange his thoughts. He looked so worried that I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight to encourage him to tell me what was on his mind. Aries squeezed my hand back, and then he finally looked at me before saying, “Iñigo has a sex tape of us back when we were still dating.”

“W-What?”

“He filmed us, and I didn’t know. I just found the video on his phone, and when I asked him to delete it, he said he didn’t have any reason to. That’s why I never said anything to him. I was afraid he’d post it somewhere or even send it to my parents. I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you sooner.”

Oh god. Just when I thought I could actually talk to that bastard in a civil manner, I discovered more reasons why he deserved the punch I gave him yesterday.

To be honest, I don’t know what to do in this type of situation. But if it’s for Aries, then all I can do is make up my mind and just follow my instinct. We’re here to make Iñigo stop tormenting Aries once and for all, and that’s what I’ll do. I don’t even care what happens next.

“What do you want to do?” I asked him.

“What do I want to do?” He asked me back.

“This time, Aries, we’ll do this together. Just tell me what you want to do, and we’ll think it through,” I explained to him, and Aries took a deep breath before leaning close so he could press his forehead on mine. The two of us closed our eyes together, and then Aries gave me a soft kiss on the lips before pulling away.

“I want to talk to him properly,” Aries revealed, instantly making me sigh. It was honestly something that I didn’t want Aries to do, but I knew that Iñigo would never let him go if Aries didn’t talk to him personally. I knew that this was the only solution.

“I’ve never really told him how I feel, and I think this is the perfect time for me to do so. I was always afraid of him, but now that I’m with you, I think I can do it.”

“Okay,” I answered. “But Gelo and I will be with you the entire time. I won’t allow you to speak with him alone.”

“Okay,” Aries answered back, and the two of us finally stepped out of the car.

“You guys ready?” Gelo then asked us, and Aries and I nodded our heads before finally walking inside the apartment complex.

Iñigo didn’t ask us to head to a specific room. He told us to meet him at the lobby at 8:00 PM instead, so when we got there, we immediately saw Iñigo sitting on a couch and using his phone. As we got closer to him, I instantly saw the bruise on his face that he probably got when I punched him. It’s not my proudest moment, but I’m not going to apologize for it. He deserved it anyway.

“Iñigo,” Aries called out.

Iñigo hid his phone away before lifting his head up to look at us. After that, he took a deep breath and stood from the sofa before saying, “Follow me. Let’s talk somewhere private.”

The three of us looked at each other before following Iñigo to the rooftop that showed a beautiful view of the city. I don’t know why he chose such a place for a confrontation, but I guess it was okay since no one else was there to see us.

“So, are you going to apologize for physically hurting me?” Iñigo suddenly asked.

“Did I just hear that fucker right?” Gelo angrily asked, but I immediately pulled him away so Aries could take a step forward so he could properly face his ex.

While Gelo and I stood behind him, Aries looked over his shoulder to look at me for one last time. I nodded my head to encourage him that we’ll be right behind me, so Aries took a deep breath and finally looked straight into Iñigo’s eyes. After mentally preparing himself, Aries opened his mouth and said, “You wanted to talk, so talk. Tell me everything you want to say, and I’ll hear you out. But after that, it’s my turn to speak, and it’s your turn to listen.”

Iñigo looked like he didn’t like the idea, but he nodded in agreement anyway since he probably knew that this would be his only chance to speak to Aries like this.

So as the cold wind blew on us, Iñigo cleared his throat and finally spoke his truth.

“I missed you, Aries. The moment I left for Japan, I instantly realized that breaking up with you was the worse decision I’ve ever made. I hated the fact that I let you go, so the moment I arrived back here, I went to you so you’d know how serious I was about getting you back. I want you, and I still love you. I know you more than anyone, and I can give you a future where you don’t even have to lift a finger. Just stay by my side Aries, and I’ll shower you with love like I did in the past,” Iñigo finally stated.

Gelo rolled his eyes while I kept staring at Aries. I couldn’t really see his reaction since we were standing behind him. But as soon as Iñigo reached out to touch his hand, Aries immediately pushed it away, and the look on Iñigo’s face showed that Aries was looking back at him with an expression that he hadn’t seen him wear before.

And at that moment, Iñigo realized that this Aries was no longer the same Aries that he left behind two years ago.

“You’re done?” Aries asked with such a cold tone, a tone he usually used before we became close with each other. “Now that you said what you wanted to say, please listen carefully…Iñigo,” Aries said with such dominance that I couldn’t help but smile proudly at him.

“When we were dating, I thought I was madly and deeply in love with you, but I was wrong. I loved the idea of you and how you made me feel. You held me like I was your possession. You treated me like a trophy that you happily bragged about with your friends. That’s why when we were together, I was always quiet. I always said yes to you because I didn’t want to disappoint you,” Aries said, and I could tell that he was trying his best not to shed a tear because of how shaky his voice was becoming.

“I was dependent on you, so I thought no one else would ever love me like you did, but I was wrong. I was so wrong. When you told me to come out to my family to prove that I love you, I realized that I really didn’t love you the way I thought I did. Domingo…he made me feel free even though I kept hiding in the dark,” Aries then said, his words making my heart beat faster as if he was directly saying all those things to me.

“He’s patient and kind. And even when he feels suffocated and jealous, he still wouldn’t admit it because he’s worried I’d feel bad. To be honest, I want to thank you instead, Iñigo, because I finally made up my mind about something I should have said out loud a long time ago.”

Aries paused and turned around to face me. Gelo then pushed me so I could take a step forward. When I got closer, Aries grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him so we could both face Iñigo together.

“I was afraid for a long time, but now I’m not. I don’t care what you do with that video anymore. I don’t care if you believe you love me or not. I want you out of my life, Iñigo. Dom’s the one I want. He’s my future. He’s the one I chose. He’s the sun that makes me shine the brightest. And even though I’m bad at saying these things out loud, Domingo M. Adlawan…is the only man I will ever truly love in this lifetime.”

end.

(47) Stars Aligned

“DOMINGO M. ADLAWAN…IS the only man I will ever truly love in this lifetime,” Aries declared with such determination that a tear slowly streamed down my eyes as soon as I heard it.

I never expected Aries to say such a thing to Iñigo, or to anyone, for that matter. His words struck me like lightning. I felt my heart stop as the words echoed in my ears, like I finally heard the voice that had been desperately shouting at me from afar.

He loves me…

Aries Buan, the one I have always gazed upon since my eyes fell on him, said that he loves me.

“I’ve said everything that I wanted to say. I hope that’s clear enough for you now,” Aries said as he turned around and walked away, pulling my hand so I could go with him. “Gelo, let’s go,” he then added, and Gelo looked at Iñigo for one last time before finally following us out.

I wasn’t really able to see Iñigo’s reaction, but his silence said a lot. He didn’t even stop us when we left him on the rooftop. I actually also wanted to say a few things to him, but I didn’t want to add any more fuel to the fire, and I also didn’t want to steal this moment from Aries. Whatever I was about to say shouldn’t matter anymore. What’s important now is that Aries spoke his truth.

“You think that was okay?” Aries asked when we arrived at the parking lot.

“You killed it,” Gelo answered, reaching out to pat his shoulder.

“Then we should head back before he starts chasing us again,” Aries then said, but before he could go inside his car, Gelo stopped him.

“You two can go ahead. I’ll stay here for a while and just ride a jeepney home. I think it’s best if you guys talk about…your feelings…privately,” Gelo stated, surprising Aries and me.

“Are you sure?” Aries asked him, and Gelo nodded his head in reply.

“Then thank you for coming, Angelo. I felt a lot more relieved since you were there,” Aries stated before moving close so he could give Gelo a hug. Gelo was obviously surprised since he’s not a hugger, but he smiled and embraced Aries anyway before reaching out to pat my shoulder.

I smiled at him as well as a sign of gratitude. And then Aries and I finally got to the car. After waving goodbye, Aries drove off, and the two of us said nothing.

My heart was just beating fast, and I could tell that Aries felt the same. What do you say after your boyfriend tells you that he loves you for the first time? Do you say it back now? Do you open up a different topic and wait for the perfect moment to say it as well? How do you even say ’ I love you ’ to someone? I’ve always thought about it before, but now that we’re here, I never really picture myself actually saying it out loud.

“Aries…”

“Dom…”

The two of us called out to each other at the same time in an attempt to break the silence.

“Y-You go first,” Aries immediately stated right after.

I cleared my throat and looked out the window to stare at the buildings that we were driving past. The car ride was once again filled with silence, but after clearing my throat for the second time, I finally turned to Aries and asked, “Want to eat?”

Aries chuckled before nodding his head in reply.

“Where do you want to go?”

Aries drove us to the old goto house that we went to together. It was the time I first met the ever-so-beautiful queen of Tourism, Diane Montecastro, which I now realize is the better ex compared to Iñigo. Sure, she mentally manipulated Aries by saying that having a girlfriend would make his family happier, but you know, at least she didn’t groom him and practically held him hostage with an unconsented sex video.

“Aries!” Dada, the shop owner, happily greeted us when we entered her shop. “And Domingo, right? It’s good to see you both.”

“It’s good to see you too, Dada. You still remember the food we ordered last time?” Aries asked as we sat at our table.

“For you, the usual medium-sized beef special with extra egg and fried tofu, and for your friend, a large-sized pork special, extra egg, extra pork, and two orders of…fried tofu,” Dada answered with such precision that I couldn’t help but be impressed. She must really love her customers that she remembered all that.

“Boyfriend, actually,” Aries then corrected, surprising both Dada and me.

“Oh, looks like that was the only mistake I made. Don’t worry. I’ll remember next time,” Dada answered with a wide smile before squeezing our shoulders and walking back to the kitchen to prepare our order.

The two of us became quiet again as I looked around the porridge shop just so that I didn’t have to look at his face in embarrassment. But as I admire the cobwebs on the ceiling, I felt Aries’s feet reach out to mine under the table, instantly making me look at him.

To my surprise, Aries was playing with his phone, but his feet still continued playing with mine.

I chuckled as he slowly caressed his feet on my leg. But as he was doing so, I grabbed his feet under the table and gently tugged it, instantly making him slide from his seat, forcing him to remove his eyes from the screen of his phone.

“Dom!” He complained as I laughed like a kid pulling a prank on the person he likes.

“Looks like we’re finally looking at each other,” I answered, and Aries’s cheeks started burning like it usually does when he’s embarrassed or flustered.

“You know, I’ve never had anyone tell me they love me in such a romantic way before. As an English major who is a sucker for anything close to poetic, I am very much satisfied,” I told him, and Aries’s ears started turning red now too.

“I was being honest.”

“I know.”

“Was it too sudden?” He then asked as I reached out and held onto his hand before squeezing it.

“No. I actually waited for it longer than you might expect,” I honestly told him. “Thank you for being brave, Aries. Thank you for facing your fears. And thank you for loving the childish, stupid, insecure, and terrified me.”

Aries squeezed my hand back as his eyes started to water.

We didn’t say anything anymore after that and just kept the conversation casual. He probably didn’t want to share such genuine emotions in public, and I couldn’t really help but agree with that too.

After a couple of minutes, Dada brought our food to the table, and we started eating and enjoying each other’s company, just like the first time we went here together. Iñigo never even crossed my mind after that. Tonight, it was just about Aries and me. What Iñigo does next should no longer be any of our concerns.

“Finals are next week. I can’t believe a whole semester is about to end,” I said as we walked our way to the car.

I got ready to get in, but then Aries stopped all of a sudden.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” He said in shock.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, immediately checking under his car because last time his car had a gas leak, so we were forced to stay at the motel just beside Dada’s shop. But when I looked under the car, there wasn’t any leak at all.

“Damn, looks like I forgot to drive all of a sudden,” Aries said while scratching the back of his head.

I finally understood what he meant, so I grinned at him and pulled him closer by the waist. “Then we have no choice. We have to stay in that motel again, so your driving skills will come back tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a great idea.”

The two of us chuckled at each other as we got to the motel. Luckily for us, there weren’t a lot of people, and we were able to get the room we also took last time. It was a literal deja vu but without the awkward tension.

“It brings back so many memories,” Aries told me as I threw myself on the bed in relief since I didn’t have to sleep on the floor anymore like last time.

“Babe, I’m gonna take a shower,” Aries then said, and I immediately got up from the bed before grabbing his arm and pulling him towards me so he could lie on the bed with me.

“Nope. Not yet.”

Aries laughed as I got on top of him so I could tickle his sides. He tried pushing me away, but after his unfruitful struggle, I stopped and leaned close to kiss his forehead instead. Aries stared back at me, his black and starry eyes reminding me of the first time I met him at the auditorium.

I reached out and gently touched his face, and then Aries draped his arms around my neck while my thumb caressed his cheek.

He was beautiful, and this beauty was the very reason why I felt unworthy of him. I felt like I didn’t deserve to stand by his side in the way that I am now. I felt like I wasn’t good enough like Diane or fulfilled enough like Iñigo. I was so insecure, yet Aries was lying below me, staring at me with so much love, like I was the only person in the world for him.

Aries made everything feel better. He gave color to my dull and hard life, and I believe he doesn’t even notice it. He changed me so much, and I am excited to see what kind of people we’ll become in the future that the stars have perfectly aligned for us.

“ I love you, Aries Buan, “ I whispered, and Aries smiled, and then he laughed, and eventually, he started crying. He shed tears that kept him quiet, and this vulnerability was what made me speak louder on his behalf.

If he’s afraid to walk forward, I’ll stand behind him to make sure he won’t stumble. If he’s afraid to take risks, I’ll be there to tell him it’s okay if he ends up failing. If he’s afraid of crying, I’ll reassure him by wiping his tears away. And if he’s afraid…I’ll be afraid with him so that we can work on it together.

“I love you,” I repeated as I wiped his tears away with my finger.

“I love you,” he replied.

“Can you say that again?”

“I love you,” he repeated with no hesitation.

“And I’m the only one, right?” I asked next.

Aries smiled and nodded his head while his tears continued to pour out. He then pulled me close so he could finally give me a kiss on the lips. I kissed him back, our lips colliding like they were meant to be together.

After our kiss, I moved away from him and lay beside him. We both stared at the ceiling together. 

The room was dark, and the only light that illuminated us was from the lamp on the side table and the neon sign outside the room. Aries lifted his hands up and reached out to the ceiling like he was trying to grab something. I stared at his hand and stretched my arm as well so my pinky finger could touch his. 

“Next time, let’s go somewhere so we can look at the night sky together,” Aries told me.

“When are you heading to the US?” I then asked him.

“We’re flying there on December 23, and then we’re heading back on January 4,” Aries answered.

“So you wouldn’t be here on New Year too.”

“Should we go somewhere before I leave then?”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere, as long as it’s with you.”

I smiled and pulled his hand close so I could kiss it. “How about the beach? We can go somewhere far where no one can recognize us, and we can stay there for a few days too. How does that sound?” I then suggested.

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll just bring my car so we can have a road trip.”

“And I’ll bring the snacks.”

Aries turned his head, so I turned my head as well so we could look at each other. But while he was staring at me, his eyes suddenly widened in shock, like he remembered something important.

Aries quickly got up from the bed and ran out of the room without saying a single thing. I got up as well and sat on the edge of the bed, and waited for him. When Aries got back, he was panting heavily, and he was also holding this small white box.

“What just happened?” I asked in confusion.

“I just remembered that I was supposed to give you something on your birthday, but I didn’t have the chance to since Iñigo went to my house and you had to drive me away, so I left this in the car. That’s why I ran there to get it,” Aries explained as he approached me.

“You have a gift for me? I thought the present was the sex,” I jokingly stated, making Aries hit my shoulder.

“That was a joke,” I defended, and Aries just sat on the bed and faced me.

“Alright, just close your eyes.”

“You really like surprises, huh?”

“Just close it!” Aries scolded again, so I immediately closed my eyes like the obedient boyfriend that I am.

Aries didn’t say anything, but I felt him leaning close so he could put something around my neck. After a couple more seconds, he moved away again and said, “Okay, now you can open it.”

I opened my eyes and saw Aries staring at my chest with a shy smile. I tilted my head down and found myself wearing a silver necklace. I took the necklace to check the pendant, and I instantly smiled when I realized that the small pendant was actually a crescent moon.

“Now help me where this,” Aries then said as he placed another necklace on my hand.

I looked at my palm and smiled even wider when I saw that it was the same necklace as mine, but instead of a moon, the pendant was a sun.

“They connect together,” he explained, so I brought the sun pendant towards me. And like what Aries said, the sun perfectly fits inside the moon, almost making my heart explode at the thought that Aries took his time to give me the perfect birthday gift.

“Turn around,” I then said, and Aries turned around so I could put the necklace on him.

I took a deep breath and slowly draped the necklace around his neck. After locking it, I leaned close and gently kissed his nape. “ It’s beautiful. Thank you, “ I whispered to him, and Aries looked over his shoulder to face me.

“ You’re welcome, “ he whispered back.

I pulled him close so I could hug him from behind, resting my head on his shoulder while Aries held onto the pendant so he could stare at it.

“Now we’ll always have a piece of each other,” Aries stated.

“No backing out now,” I then replied, hugging Aries even tighter and realizing that Aries is also the only man I’ll ever truly love in this lifetime… and maybe even longer.

end.

(48) Bunny Rabbit [m]

I THRUST INSIDE ARIES as he grips the bedsheets underneath me, his moans echoing inside the motel room that I almost got nervous that others might accidentally hear him outside. I look down at his naked body and admire his beauty while I bite into the pendant of my necklace. Aries is also wearing the necklace he bought for us, which somehow turned me on even more since it’s the only thing he’s wearing.

“Baby, I’m gonna cum,” Aries warns, his hole tightening even more around me.

“Wait, just a little bit more,” I say as I continue to push and pull myself inside his entrance, letting the pleasure consume me while sweat trail down the side of my forehead.

After one last thrust, I quickly pull away and start jacking myself off as I finally release my seed on his abdomen, making Aries cum just a couple of seconds after.

The two of us pant heavily as I let myself fall beside him to catch my breath. Aries does the same, and when he turns his head to look at me, the two of us start laughing.

“One more?” He asks, reaching out to brush my hair back with his slender fingers.

I grab his hand and gently kiss it before shaking my head. “I’m sorry. I’m a bit tired after the encounter with Iñigo, and I also have work tomorrow, so can we go with just one round tonight?” I ask, hoping not to make Aries mad. But as expected, Aries pouts and turns away from me, so I quickly hug him from behind, pressing myself against his back, instantly making his body jolt.

“Why is my baby so horny?” I playfully ask, and Aries angrily elbows me.

“The first time we went here, you didn’t do anything and just went straight to sleep, and now that we’re here as an actual couple, you’re rejecting me,” Aries complains, which I found absolutely adorable.

To be honest, I don’t have a problem going at it again, but I know myself, especially Aries. If we go for a second round, there’s definitely gonna be a third, and then a fourth, and then I’ll completely be drained and miss work again. I already missed work tonight. I don’t want o get fired.

“Fine, sit up and let me fuck you,” I say in defeat.

Well, this is all my fault anyway since I spoil him too much.

“I’m not in the mood anymore,” he complains, his stubbornness almost making me laugh out loud. But of course, I kept quiet about it. I didn’t want him to hate me on the same night he admitted that he loved me.

“You’re seriously gonna be the death of me.”

I sit up straight and grab Aries’s hand to pull him towards me so he can sit on my lap. Right after, I position my cock against his and spat on my palm so I can rub on our members together, gripping on them to make it feel tight. 

“S-Shit…where’d you learn that?” Aries asks as his eyes roll back in pleasure.

“Porn. Watched a few videos before and…t-thought of trying them out with my… b-boyfriend,” I truthfully answer, struggling to even say the words straight because my own dick was starting to harden.

Seriously, Aries’s sex drive is way too crazy. I should start working out to improve my stamina because he will literally be the death of me if I don’t do anything.

“Domingo, harder,” Aries then commands as he reaches out to his hole so he can put a finger inside.

I curse under my breath and rub our cocks harder, tightly holding onto both of them with my hands like I was doing pottery. The mere fact that Aries is fingering himself on top of me is enough to make me start leaking. He looks so fucking sexy like that. And the short moans he would release just sounds so heavenly to me. It’s a miracle that I haven’t shoved myself inside him yet.

“ I’m gonna lose my mind. Shit… “

After rubbing it a few more times, Aries’s body trembles, and in an instant, whitish liquid oozes out from him, staining my hand with it.

The room falls silent, and soon after, Aries drops his head on my shoulder, catching his breath like he just ran a marathon.

“Feeling better now?” I ask.

Aries looks at me and leans over to give me a soft kiss on my lips before giving me the most attractive smile I’ve ever seen from anyone.

“I love you,” he then says, my heart fluttering like a high schooler who got greeted by his crush.

“Seriously. Do you love me or my dick?” I jokingly ask. But it inevitably didn’t become a joke anymore because Aries ignores my question and moves away from me, standing from the bed so he can grab a bottle of water. I stare at him as he chugs the water down. After squeezing the bottle dry, he looks back at me and starts laughing. 

“The dick is attached to you, so both,” he finally answers while still laughing at himself.

I can’t help but smile at him as I watch the love of my life express himself with no worries of any judgment. It felt like yesterday when we were still trying to understand our feelings, hating on each other and our differences. But here we are now, naked in a cheap motel like we’re fugitives running away from the world.

“Alright, I’m gonna take a shower first,” I say as got up from the bed.

I enter the shower first but leave the door open so I can still hear Aries outside. While cleaning myself, Aries enters the bathroom and starts washing his hands at the sink.

“Oh babe, you should take your leave from work so we can plan our trip before I leave for the US,” Aries tells me as I start putting shampoo on my hair.

“Sure, I’ll tell Madam Scarlet about it,” I answer with my eyes closed so the shampoo wouldn’t get to it.

After a while, Aries joins me in the bath. He grabs a soap and then starts scrubbing my back with it. While he’s doing so, I suddenly remember something important that happened yesterday that we should have already talked about but it just completely flew over our heads.

“Aries, have you heard anything from your friend Jesse or your brother Art? You know, about the videos they took when I punched Iñigo outside the gate of our school and stupidly declared that you’re mine?” I ask him, and Aries immediately stops moving his hand.

The bathroom falls silent for a while, but before I can even turn my head to him, Aries answers me, “Don’t worry about it. Jesse told me that she asked everyone there to delete the video when we left.”

“Are you sure?” I ask, immediately turning around so I can face him.

Aries’s eyes widened in shock when he saw my expression. I probably looked so worried, especially since the last video greatly affected him. I don’t want that to happen again.

“Look at you. You look more terrified than I am,” he says as he reaches out to touch the pendant on my necklace. “It’s going to be fine. And if my dad happens to find the video again, I’m just going to say it’s a misunderstanding. I’m sure he won’t say anything. I know my dad. He’d probably pretend like he didn’t see it to save himself from the embarrassment.”

“Isn’t it tiring, though? To always hide it from him?” I ask, and Aries sighs and lets go of me before leaning against the wall.

“It’s tiring, of course. But there’s nothing else I can do. My dad…he expects so much from me. And as much as I hate him, he’s still my father. The only reason I’m living a comfortable life is because of him. And as a Filipino toxic trait, it is our duty to repay them for it,” Aries answers, the sadness once again appearing in his eyes.

I can’t help but feel guilty again for even getting jealous of Aries’s life. I guess I only saw the surface of what he had. I saw the house, the pool, the cars, the complete family, but I didn’t see what really happened behind all that. Aries has his own struggles in life. It’s different from mine, but it doesn’t make it less important.

“Do you want me to come out to them? To my parents?” Aries suddenly asks, the question catching me off guard.

“Aries, that’s not a question you ask me or anyone else,” I answer, and a smile instantly appears on Aries’s face again.

“And that’s one of the reasons why I love you,” he answers, draping his arms around my neck and pulling me close so our lips can touch. After the kiss, Aries bites my lower lip and asks again, “Are you sure you don’t want another go?”

“Mr. Buan, you’re seriously gonna kill me,” I reply, and Aries’s laughter echoes inside the bathroom, filling me up with overwhelming delight.

…

“I can’t believe today’s the last day of this semester. I’m gonna miss you guys,” Vicki says as we’re having our lunch in the cafeteria.

“We literally only have a month break before we see each other again. And besides, you should be more worried about the results of our finals first before you think about the vacation,” Justin retaliates, making Vicki kick his leg under the table.

I laugh at my friends and continue eating my meal while glancing at Aries who’s just three tables away from us.

It’s been five days since Aries told me that he loves me, and since then, I’ve been on cloud nine. I don’t even know why, but after he admitted what he truly feels about me, Aries has been more expressive. And since this is Aries we’re talking about, his expressiveness is more on physical touch. 

Aries would drive me to his aunt’s condo and we’d have sex all night. Sometimes when we’re at his car, he’d blow me off or even just give me a quick handjob. Even when we’re apart, we’d video call each other until we fall asleep and my phone just dies. He showers me with so much love yet I’m still not used to it. And because of this, I’ve been waking up early just to go on a morning jog to improve my stamina.

See, that’s how much I love this bunny rabbit.

Anyway, apart from the frequent sex, there’s also the matter of Iñigo. After our confrontation with him, I thought he wouldn’t even go to work anymore to save face. But I guess I underestimated him because he came to the bar like nothing had happened. The only difference is he doesn’t talk to me anymore and tries to avoid me as much as possible. He even lied about the bruise he got from my punch, telling Gin and Madam Scarlet that he got it after someone accidentally slammed a door on his face.

I don’t know if he’s avoiding me because he’s embarrassed or maybe because he just gave up and thought that Aries wasn’t worth it anymore, but whatever his reason is, I’m just glad that the issue with him is finally resolved. I guess letting Aries go is the most mature thing he’s ever done.

“By the way, what was your final answer to the problem on the math test earlier? The one about the circumference?” Art then asks, snapping me back to my sentence.

“I think it’s around 24.7 cm,” Vicki answers.

“Mine was 48,” I answer next, and Vicki’s expression instantly drops while Justin starts laughing like crazy.

“No way! My answer was so far from that.”

“Hey, we don’t know if mine is the correct answer yet.”

“Mine is also 48,” Art then answers, and Vicki starts fake crying while Justin laughs at her even harder.

I hit Justin’s head with my spoon to make him stop laughing at our dear friend. “You’re laughing way too hard. What was your answer anyway?” I then ask, and Justin wipes the tears from his eyes before answering, “102 cm.”

Vicki immediately reaches out to Justin to strangle him, and then the two start bickering like always while Art and I just continue eating our lunch in peace.

“You know, if you two continue arguing like that, you’re gonna end up together,” I then decide to tease them, and as I expected, Vicki and Justin instantly stop fighting, making Art and I laugh this time.

While the four of us continue enjoying our lunch break, a bunch of seniors arrive, instantly making the others turn their heads to catch a glimpse of them. Their appearance alone commanded the room, especially the woman walking in the middle who strutted down the cafeteria like a supermodel.

“Tourism students,” Vicki says as the four of us stare at the group who are wearing the corporate uniforms that makes them look like flight attendants.

“Dom! There you are!” The girl in the middle calls out when she spots me.

Now that’s an ex that I actually like.

“I can’t believe Diane Montecastro, the queen of tourism, is gracing me with her presence,” I tell Diane as she leans forward to give me a hug.

“You’re being too humble, Mr. LU,” Diane then says, making me chuckle before turning to look at my friends. I totally forgot to tell them that Diane and I are somehow close now because Art and Justin had this expression on their faces that made them look like they had just witnessed something mind-blowing.

“Oh yeah, Diane, you know my friends, right?” I say as I gesture at Vicki, Justin, and Art.

“Of course, I’m familiar with them. Especially her since she stopped us from making out in my car back then,” Diane then jokes while looking at Vicki. Vicki just laughs it off since she knows that it wasn’t the case, while Justin and Art look even more surprised. They couldn’t even say anything.

But just when I thought only the two of them would be fooled by what Diane said, someone suddenly appeared before us. And that someone is none other than my loving boyfriend, Aries. I didn’t even notice him approach us, so he must have rushed his way to get here.

“Diane, what are you doing at the Education’s cafeteria?” Aries asks with the cold expression he usually showed me before.

The students at the cafeteria instantly start eavesdropping on us, probably because they’re all curious to hear about what the campus sweethearts are talking about. To be honest, the old me would have been extremely jealous that students prefer Aries and Diane to be together, but now I just find everything amusing. At the end of the day, Aries is mine, after all.

“No one said other courses can’t eat here. And besides, I came here to talk to Dom. Not you,” Diane fires back, and the expression on Aries’s face instantly made me gulp.

“We just stumbled into each other,” I defend out of instinct, but Aries ignores me and looks back at Diane again, looking like he’s ready to pounce on her if she tries anything.

Aries gets ready to say something to retaliate, but Diane suddenly pushes Justin away so she can take a seat beside me. She then moves even closer to me to the point where I can smell the sweet scent of perfume on her. I even have to look away because I can already see her cleavage from my point of view, and trust me, I’m not the target audience for that.

“Oh, what’s that?” Diane then asks. And before I can even stop her, she pulls out the necklace I hid under my shirt and starts staring at the pendant. “What’s this, Dom? Didn’t know you like moons,” Diane says with a playful grin, and I instantly understood that she’s just here to tease me. No, not really me, but Aries.

“What? I like astrology,” I quickly answer, pulling my pendant away from Diane’s hand before hiding it back under my shirt before anyone else can even notice it. “Anyway, did you need anything from me, Diane?” I then ask to avoid the death stares that Aries has been sending to me since he got here.

“Actually, I’m here to inform you that we’ll have a trip this Friday. All the participants of the university pageant from this year and the previous years are invited. You just have to pay a thousand pesos for the fee. That already includes the bus, food, and lounging. Just tell your partner Ashley about it, okay?” Diane then informs me as she finally stands from our seat.

“A trip?”

“Yeah, we do it every year.”

“So basically, a trip for attractive people?” Vicki then asks, and Diane shamelessly nods her head in reply, making Vicki roll her eyes in annoyance before shoving her mouth with rice.

“Anyway, I guess that’s it. Mae will come tomorrow to collect the payment. You remember Mae, right? She was the coordinator during the pageant,” Diane says as she prepares to leave. But before she can even do so, Aries suddenly clears his throat to make her stop.

“What?” Diane asks with her right eyebrow raised.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this trip? I was a pageant contestant too, and if you don’t remember, we won it together,” Aries says, and Diane instantly starts laughing.

“Oh, I didn’t know you’d remember that since you always pretended not to care. And besides, we invite you almost every year, and you just brush us off, so I assumed you wouldn’t come this year,” Diane replies, irritating Aries even more.

I almost got in between them because I knew that Aries was gonna end up saying something that he didn’t mean. Aries always looks like he’s a calm person, but this man is an aries by nature. His temper is off the roof. If he gets annoyed or pissed off by something, he will definitely make you aware of it.

“Why would you assume such a thing? We’re seniors now. Of course, I’d want to come,” Aries then answers before giving out his signature smile that could easily make anyone fall in love with him.

I thought it would be the end of that, but when I saw the victorious smile on Diane’s face, I instantly knew that she planned all this from the start. She just used me so that Aries would come too.

“Looks like it’s settled then,” Diane says as she turns to look back at me with a charming smile, almost like she’s thanking me for making this possible. “This is gonna be fun. I’ll see you both there. Let’s enjoy the trip together, mister sun and moon.”

end.

(49) Pageant Trip

“ALRIGHT EVERYONE, HEAD INSIDE the bus once you’re ready so we can leave early. And we’ll be on the road for around two and a half hours, so if you’re gonna piss, you better do it now. Stopping for a potty break is out of the question,” Mae, the senior who assisted us during the pageant, says as the other pageant contestants start heading inside the bus.

I grab my bag from the floor and look around the area to find Aries. He texted me last night and told me he’d be a little late, but he hasn’t arrived yet. He hasn’t messaged me either. I’ve been calling him, but he wouldn’t answer.

Did he change his mind?

“Dom, you ready?” Ashley Almaden, my pageant partner, asks as she approaches me while holding a large water bottle. “We should head inside so we can pick a better seat,” she then says.

“Oh yeah, sure,” I say as I look around for one last time before following Ash inside the bus. When we got there, we chose the seats in the front since most of the seniors took the back seats, probably to make the most noise, while the rest of us just peacefully enjoyed the trip at the front.

“Dom, can I sit beside the window? I get car sick easily,” Ash asks.

“No problem. And come here. Let me take your bag so I can put it in the overhead compartment.”

“Thanks, Dom.”

Ash hands me her bag as I place hers and mine above our seats. While I’m arranging it, someone suddenly bumps into me. At first, I assumed it was an accident since the aisle is pretty tight, but when I turned and saw Luke, the contestant who called me a f-ggot during the pageant’s after party where we ended up in a fight, I instantly knew that he bumped into me on purpose.

“Sorry,” he says in a sarcastic tone before joining the higher years at the back.

I sigh and lump my way back in my seat, my mood instantly getting ruined just by the mere sight of him. Other than the fact that Aries hasn’t arrived yet, we also have a homophobic asshole on this trip. He’s the very reason why that first video of Aries and me went viral. I can’t believe he still came here after pulling such a stunt.

This is just gonna be a wonderful trip .

“I can’t believe Luke Anderson Padilla is here,” Ash suddenly says, making me look back at her with a smile since I wasn’t expecting her to call him by his full government name.

“Tell me about it.”

“But I’m sure that will compensate since your crush is coming too, right?” Ash then teases before playfully nudging my side.

I couldn’t help but laugh because Ash only knows that I have this huge crush on Aries, but she doesn’t know that I have successfully moved past the crush stage and am now in a serious relationship with him. As much as I want to boast about it with her, I’ll respect Aries’s boundaries and privacy.

“Yeah, it definitely compensates.”

“Well, speak of the devil. There he is,” Ash then says as she looks out of the window, pointing at Aries, who just parked his car. He steps out wearing a denim jacket and a pair of black shades, making him look extremely handsome.

“ That’s my boyfriend. That’s my boyfriend right there, “ I thought to myself, trying my best not to scream it out loud as Aries walked towards the bus with Diane and Mae, who had been waiting for the other contestants to arrive as well.

“ Want me to move so you two can sit together? “ Ash asks while giggling like a high schooler teasing her friend.

“No, it’s fine. I’m sure he’s gonna join the other seniors at the back,” I answer instead as Aries finally heads inside the bus with Diane.

“Holy shit! So the rumors were true! President Aries Buan really is going with us on this trip!” One of the seniors announces, instantly making the rest of them cheer. It almost felt like a celebrity just came in. Well, to be fair, I don’t blame them. Aries can command an entire room by just appearing.

Aries laughs at the sudden celebration and looks around the bus, probably to look for a seat. I can’t really tell if he looked at me though since he still had his shades on.

“Aries, come on. Sit with us,” another senior says as Aries walks into the middle aisle.

As usual, Aries ignores me like how he always does when we’re at school. It’s not really a big deal since we already talked about it before. But just when I thought Aries would join his friends at the back, he suddenly stopped beside our seat and took the seat just across from me.

I can’t help but hide my smile because even if we’re acting low-key, Aries still chooses to sit beside me. Well, not really beside me, but you get what I mean.

“ Come on…say hi, “ Ash then encourages while Aries puts his things in the overhead compartment. And the way she just kept teasing me like this made me feel shy now, too, even though Aries is already my boyfriend.

“ Come on, “ Ash insists, so I clear my throat and finally take the courage to say hi like Ash wanted.

“Uhm, Aries, I’m glad you made it,” I say, and Aries immediately turns to me, making me nervous for some reason.

Ash really got me feeling like a teenager in love right now.

“Oh, Dom, I’m glad you can also make it. You too, Ashley,” Aries says with the bright smile he usually gives when he’s in his council president mode, which I actually find more sinister compared to when he’s serious.

“Alright, everyone, take your seats. We’re ready to leave,” Mae says as she gets on the bus with the other contestants who also just arrived. The rest of them then picked their seats and occupied the empty slots.

You might think that there are a lot of us, but I heard from the others that there’s a lot of drama among the pageant contestants, so most of them didn’t come. But Diane did tell me yesterday that they’re usually just around 20 plus, but thanks to Aries, the contestants who joined are around forty. 

The power this man holds is way too terrifying.

As soon as everyone settled down, with Diane sitting beside Aries, the bus started moving. A third-year student was assigned to pray for our safe travels, and after that, Mae walked in front, holding a microphone. This literally reminds me of the times we went on a field trip in high school.

“Hello, everyone, and welcome to this year’s pageant trip. We do this every year, and we’re glad that a lot of you, especially the new ones, joined us here,” Mae says, gesturing at us to clap our hands, so we did.

“I actually have an activity for you guys to participate in, but of course, before that, let us acknowledge our Mr. and Ms. LU, starting off with Mr. and Ms. LU 2020, Aries Buan and Diane Montecastro,” Mae introduces them first as we continue clapping our hands for them.

Diane happily stands from her seat as she waves at the crowd like a true beauty queen. I also now understand why they asked us to bring our winning crowns because when Diane stood up, she was already wearing her crown. It looks like it’s for this occasion. And I bet they’ll make us wear it for the entirety of this trip.

Aries obviously didn’t want to do it, but everyone started chanting his name. He then turns to me, so I smile and nod my head to encourage him, so Aries stands from his seat, pulls out his crown from his bag, and puts it on for everyone to see. We automatically start cheering for him as Aries smiles at everyone, his ears completely red because of embarrassment. Others even pulled their phones out to take pictures of him.

“I can’t believe you actually bought your crown with you,” Mae says, laughing in amusement.

Well, they should thank me because I actually reminded Aries to bring it last night.

“Alright, thank you, Aries and Diane, AKA our campus sweethearts,” Mae then adds, and the other contestants start teasing them. Aries doesn’t say anything and just takes a seat before turning to look at me again. He’s probably worried about me because of the others teasing him with Diane, but I assure him that there’s nothing for him to worry about by casually holding my necklace, which instantly puts a smile on Aries’s face.

As Mae introduced the other pageant winners, Ashley and I got ready, grabbing our crowns from our bags and rehearsing what we’ll do once we got called.

“Now, how can we forget our most recent winners? This is the first time that both the winners are from the same department, so let’s give extra loud applause to Domingo Adlawan and Ashley Almaden!” Mae introduces us next.

Ashley and I stand from our seats as everyone starts clapping for us. And as we rehearsed, Ashley curtsied while I placed her crown on her head, and then I bowed next as she put on mine. That little stunt must have been a hit because everyone cheered like crazy. They’re acting like we did a backflip.

“Alright, thank you, ladies and gents. Now that we’re familiar with the winners, we’re gonna have a little game. Since Aries and the others already won the pageant, it’s their turn to judge us. So before we arrive at the location, we will be crowning our Mr. and Ms. VL 2023!” ( Means Victory Liner: a bus company )

“Now, who will be our first contestant?”

The bus pageant started, and five pairs joined in. Since the LU pageant winners were judges, we were given papers and pens to score them. First, they walked down the aisle and introduced themselves, and then there was even a talent portion and a question and answer portion, which were mostly ridiculous questions like, “What was named first, the orange fruit or the orange color,” or my personal favorite, “If you could choose a Philippine president as your therapist, who would it be?”

After all the participants answered the question, we finally crowned our Mr. and Ms. VL 2023. Mae and the other seniors were so prepared became they even bought crowns and sashes for this little activity.

Surprisingly enough, it was an enjoyable event. I guess, as an extrovert, I enjoy surrounding myself around people I’m not quite familiar with. It’s great because they’re like closed books that you’re excited to read and know about. That’s how I feel around people. And that’s how I felt when I met Aries, too. But except for a book, he feels more like a diary with a lock. And the more I get to know him, the more I start unlocking the code.

“Alright, everyone, looks like we’re here!”

We finally arrived at our destination, which was in Batangas. I’m not really the type to travel to different places because of financial issues, so this was my first time here. I’m a little bumped out that I can’t bring my mom anywhere yet because of her condition, but hopefully, when she fully recovers, we can go somewhere nice, especially since I have money now.

“Here’s your bag Ash,” I say as I hand Ashley’s bag from the overhead compartment.

“Thank you, Dom.”

After grabbing my bag as well, I turn around and unconsciously grab Aries’s bag for him before he can even stand from his seat. “Here,” I say as I hand the bag to him.

“T-thanks,” Aries awkwardly answers, making me realize that I shouldn’t have done that. So to avoid any misunderstandings, I also grabbed Diane’s bag and handed it over to her, which Diane was gracious for.

Ash and I leave the bus while Aries and Diane follow right behind us.

I don’t know who organized this trip, but the resort we went to was definitely breathtaking. The beach is beautiful, and there’s even a pool just beside a bar. We’re definitely gonna hang out there tonight.

“Alright, everyone, we already assigned the rooms for you, so listen up. In one room, there will be four people. I’ll call for your names, and you’ll be grouped accordingly,” Mae explains as she pulls out the list of names we signed earlier before we left.

As much as I wanted to be in the same room as Aries or even with my best pageant friend Ashley, the girls and the boys were separated. And we were all grouped according to our year, which means Aries got to be with the seniors, while I got to be in the room with the homophobe Luke Padilla.

Lucky me.

“Wow, the room looks really nice,” I say in admiration as I and two other guys head inside. I then ran to the lower bunk bed and claimed it for myself because I usually pee at night, and it would be such a hassle to go up and down a ladder every time.

“Then I’ll stay here,” Kenzo, the contestant from the Nursing Department, says as he throws his bag on the top bed just above mine.

“By the way, Dom, did you bring sunscreen with you? I forgot mine at home,” another contestant, Martin Acuin of the Business Department, then asks.

“Wait, I think I have one,” I answer.

While looking through my bag, Luke Padilla finally enters the room. He ignores all of us there and glares at me when our eyes meet. But as he places his bag on the bed, this mother fucker decides to open his mouth. “Great, we got a fag in our room,” he says, instantly making Kenzo and Martin stand up for me.

Seriously, Luke, you’re making Iñigo look like a better person with that attitude of yours.

“Hey, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Kenzo asks.

“What? I’m just concerned about someone grabbing me while I’m asleep. You guys should be concerned too. He should have just been placed in the girls’ room,” Luke then defends, like that’s a valid reason to be a total dick.

“If you don’t want to be here then—” Before Martin can add anything, I stop him and hand him my sunscreen before looking back at Luke with a bored expression. I’ve done this way too many times to even care. To be honest, I should just ignore him. But I want to enjoy this trip with great gusto, so it’s best if I make things clear now before he ends up ruining this vacation for me.

“Look, I understand if you have some kind of trauma or if you’re just really an ass. If you want, I can request to change rooms so you won’t feel uncomfortable. But till then, shut your mouth if you don’t have anything nice to say. And another thing, you’re not even my fucking type. I have standards, and you’re listed pretty low,” I say before finally walking out of the room, not even giving Luke the pleasure to retaliate.

I sigh and try not to let Luke spoil the mood. So to feel better, I went my way to the beach, removing my slippers and just letting my feet touch the sand. I think the last time I went to the beach was when I was seven. And that was a long time ago. Papa was still alive, and Mama was still happy. Things seriously are better when you’re just a kid. Why was I even so eager to grow up?

“ Beautiful, “ I say as I stare at the sun that’s being reflected by the clear water.

“Who’s beautiful?” Someone behind me suddenly asks, surprising me

“Aries!” I screeched, instantly making Aries laugh.

Aries was no longer wearing his shades. And, like me, he wasn’t wearing his slippers either. 

“May I join you?” He asks.

“You may,” I answer, and Aries stand beside me, moving a little closer as the two of us stare at the view together.

“This looks nice,” Aries says as he closes his eyes, feeling the cold air touch his skin while the waves gently tickle our feet. “I wish we didn’t stay here just for one night.”

“I second that,” I say, and Aries opens his eyes and looks back at me.

“Hey, Dom. Want to go somewhere after this? Let’s not join them when they head back. We can stay here for one more day before I leave. We already planned on going somewhere anyway. What do you say?” Aries asked me, and the mere idea of it immediately made me feel excited. Who doesn’t want to go on an alone trip with someone as amazing as Aries?

“Sure. I think that would be nice,” I answer, and Aries smiles wider, reaching out to my hand with his pinky so he can touch it.

I did the same and stretched my pinky to his, ensuring no one saw us. With our pinkies touching, we both look back at the ocean again to admire the view. And as the two of us stood there, I couldn’t help but realize how small we really are in this vast universe.

end.

(50) Truth or Dare

THERE ARE MANY DISADVANTAGES  of not going on vacations, and one of them is not learning how to swim. I realized this when the others guilt-tripped me into jumping into the pool because they didn’t know that I was not a swimmer, and when I did, I couldn’t rise back up. It was literally the most embarrassing thing ever, especially since Ash and two other guys had to pull me up.

Why did I even assume that I’m a good swimmer without ever swimming anymore? I thought you just needed to kick your feet and wave your hands around so you could float, but no, that was definitely not the case at all. I panicked and drank so much water I thought I was gonna die.

“You okay?” Aries asks while I’m sitting on the side of the pool, swinging my legs around while my feet touch the water.

“If almost dying means I’m okay, then yeah, I’m okay,” I answer as Aries sits beside me, laughing.

“Want me to teach you how to swim?”

“Now it feels like you’re mocking me,” I answer, and Aries laughs even more.

I lean forward and splash some water on him, and then Aries does the same, but harder. But while we’re playing around, Diane arrives and pretends to push me off the side of the pool, making my heart stop beating for a quick second. It looks like I’m traumatized by the pool now.

“PDA is not allowed on this trip,” Diane complains as Aries and I turn to look at her. I got ready to scold her for even trying to push me, but when I looked back at her, my jaw just completely dropped. 

She’s wearing this white two-piece bikini, and her hair is tied in a clean ponytail. I’m serious when I say that if anyone even has the chance to make me straight, it might be Diane. But of course, this is only possible in my next life because I am still very much in love with a particularly grumpy zodiac sign.

“Dom, if you fall in love with me, that’s gonna be a big problem,” Diane then says, instantly making me look away.

Diane laughs, but then Aries splashes some water on her too, instantly making Diane angrily back away. “Aries!” she yells, and Aries just laughs before leaning his head to my shoulder, instantly making Diane sigh.

“Hey, shouldn’t you two be careful? Someone might see,” Diane asks, which I totally agree with, but Aries has been clingy since earlier. It’s not like I don’t like it, but he’s being a little strange. Maybe I should ask him if something’s on his mind when we’re alone later.

“It’s fine. Everyone’s busy playing at the beach anyway,” Aries casually answers, and Diane and I turn to look at each other, obviously thinking the same thing about Aries.

Something’s definitely off with him. At first, I thought that he’s been extra expressive with his physical touch because he’s just much more comfortable with me now, but something’s definitely wrong. He won’t be acting like this if everything is alright.

“Aries, are you okay?” Diane asks first before I can even get to arrange my thoughts.

Aries removes his head away from my shoulder and looks back at the pool. “I’ve just been thinking about something, that’s all. We’re heading to the US next week, and honestly, I’d rather be here with Dom than go with them to celebrate Christmas and New Year,” Aries reveals.

“Hey, did something happen?” I then ask, and Aries looks at me and gives me a reassuring smile before reaching out to touch the necklace that I’m wearing. “I’m okay,” he continues to say, and I nod my head in understanding. Maybe I’m just looking too deeply into it. There are usually days when we feel under the weather, so I completely understand if Aries feels that way.

For now, the best thing I can do is stay by his side and make this trip enjoyable as possible. If he’s ready to tell me what’s on his mind, then I’ll be there to listen.

“Guys!” Someone then shouts, interrupting our serious conversation. The three of us turn around and spot Ash running towards us, holding a beach volleyball. “What are you guys doing there? Let’s play!”

Okay, now that’s something I actually might be good at.

“Come on, let’s join the others,” I say as I stand from the edge of the pool, reaching my hand towards Aries so he can grab it. Aries stares at my hand before grabbing it so I can pull him up.

“Let’s go, lovebirds,” Diane teases as she runs her way to Ashley to drape her arms around her shoulder. I then turn to Aries to check on him again. I couldn’t really read his expression well, so I just let it be and touched his back as we joined the others.

The rest of the day was filled with fun activities. After playing in the sand, Ash and the others taught me how to swim in the ocean, which took an hour before I could even successfully float on my back for barely ten seconds before drowning again. We also rode a banana boat, and thanks to my life vest, I got to play in the water with the others too.

Aries seemed to enjoy the trip as well because he was playing around with the other seniors and chatting with his juniors. I know I’m being overdramatic, but I can’t help but check on him from time to time just to see what kind of expression he’s making. If I continue with this kind of approach, others might end up thinking that I’m the strange one.

“Cheers!”

As soon as the sun went down and the sky graced us with a stunning view of the stars, all of us went to the beach and set up a campfire, drinking cold beer and brandy, as well as eating hotdogs on a stick and sweet corn that barely has any flavor.

Not all of us were here, unfortunately, because some went to their rooms to rest while the others were drinking at the bar beside the pool. But there were still fifteen of us around the campfire, and lucky for me, Luke was with us since his friends forced him to join.

Ash and I sat together, while Aries sat with Diane just across from us.

“Let’s play truth or dare,” one of the seniors suggests, and everyone instantly agrees to it. This is honestly the start of a horror flick. If someone ends up getting murdered, I’m heading home. And I’m gonna drag Aries with me.

“Alright, let me spin the bottle. If the bottle lands on you, you’re gonna have to take a shot first, and then you’re gonna choose between truth or dare,” Mae says as she puts the cooler in the middle before placing the empty bottle on top of it. Mae spins the bottle, and then it eventually stops on Nicole Santos, a second-year who won the bus pageant earlier.

Everyone starts cheering as the seniors hand Nicole a shot glass. She takes a deep breath first and finally takes the shot, making us cheer even louder.

“Alright, truth or dare?” Mae asks, and Nicole bravely answers, “Dare.”

Nicole’s answer excited everyone, so the seniors huddle up so they can discuss what she’ll have to do. After a few seconds of careful consideration, Mae looks back at Nicole and asks her, “Alright, Nicole…we dare you to walk towards the person you think is the most attractive among us and give them a lap dance.”

“Ohh!” Everyone shouts, some doubting that Nicole would dare do such a thing.

“If you don’t do it, you’re gonna have to take another shot,” Mae then says, and Nicole looks around the group before bravely standing from the log she’s sitting on. Everyone starts cheering as a senior turns on some sexy music that’s playing loudly on the speakers.

I start bobbing my head to the music while I continue drinking my beer. I watch as Nicole continues to look around the group, and to my surprise, she approaches me, instantly making me spill my drink in shock.

“Oh my god! Go, Nicole!” Ash shouts as Nicole puts her hands on my shoulder, swaying her hips side to side while I cover my eyes in embarrassment, my cheeks heating up because of it. Everyone started cheering for her, and when I looked up to check on Aries, Aries was cheering too and having fun, which honestly made me feel relieved.

Since Nicole was doing her best, I started hyping her up as she continued her dance. I don’t know if she really thinks I’m the most attractive one around here or if she knows I’m gay and thinks I’m the best option so she doesn’t get uncomfortable. But either way, I’m flattered to be danced by someone so pretty.

“And that’s it! Good job, Nicole!” Mae says as Nicole gives her finishing bow.

“Thanks for being a sport, Dom,” Nicole then says as she walks back to her seat.

“How was it, Dom? Did you enjoy Nicole’s performance?” Mae asks, and I show them a thumbs up in reply.

“I bet you did,” Luke sarcastically comments right after, but thankfully no one paid him any mind.

The game continued on for a couple more times. Some were dared to swim in the cold ocean and stay there for at least ten minutes. Others chose truth and talked about the people they hated during their pageant. I enjoyed watching everyone enjoy the night, but it was all fun and games until the bottle stopped in my direction.

“Oh! It’s our Mr. LU!” Mae excitedly says as I take a shot of brandy.

The alcohol heats my throat up but doesn’t really affect me much since I drink for a living. So compared to the others who are obviously starting to get drunk, I’m still pretty much sober. Which means I’m sober enough not to choose Dare .

“I choose truth,” I answer, and the seniors huddle up again.

I glance at Aries, who’s happily chatting with Diane, before turning to the seniors, who finally discussed what to ask me.

“Apparently, this was a popular question, and many of us have been dying to know about it too. So Domingo M. Adlawan…are you in a relationship right now?” Mae asks, the question almost unexpectedly expected. Everyone waits for me with anticipation as I look around the campfire. And when my eyes fell on Aries, he was staring at the ground, making it impossible for me to know how he felt about the question.

When they saw my hesitation, the seniors started preparing the drink that I had to take as a penalty. I can honestly just take the shot since it’s just alcohol, but I also don’t want to ruin the mood since everyone else has done theirs without declining it.

“ Dom? “ Ashley then calls out, making me blink and blurt out my truth before I can even stop my mouth from saying it.

“Yes,” I answer, and Aries immediately looks at me as the group starts cheering.

“I knew it! You look too happy to be single,” someone says, making me laugh.

Aries takes a deep breath and looks away from me again. I thought he got mad, but to my surprise, his ears started to turn red, which meant he wasn’t mad about my answer at all. I bet he even liked it.

“Spill the tea, Dom! Who is it? How’d you meet? Does he go to our school?” Mae asked while everyone else threw me questions left and right, hoping to know more about my private love affairs.

“Aren’t I only supposed to answer only one question?” I teasingly ask, so another senior turns the bottle again and purposely stops it in my direction, making me laugh.

“Now you have to answer,” they insist.

I hide my smile as I take a sip of my beer. While looking at the fire, I decide to tell them my ‘secret’ relationship in the most open yet private way possible. I want to brag about the person I love, after all. This is my only chance to do so.

“I’m only going to share a few things because I respect my partner’s wish for privacy,” I start, and the others already start teasing me before I can say anything else.

“Our paths crossed unexpectedly, and for a while, I thought the universe was just teasing me for making me meet such a person. We actually hated each other at first, but we eventually found common ground and somehow became friends. This person is the most breathtaking human being my eyes have ever laid upon, and the way they speak and carry themselves shows a maturity that balances out when we’re alone because I’m the only one privileged enough to see his childish side. I may not be able to scream it to the world yet, but I love this person very much. That’s all I can say,” I say, and the group becomes completely quiet.

I expected them to cheer and tease me, but they didn’t. And while everyone didn’t say anything, Ashley grabbed my hands and squeezes it. And when I looked up, I saw Diane shedding a tear.

“Domingo, that is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard someone say,” Mae says, wiping the tears from her eyes as well. “Some of you might be a little dense, but as you might not know, I’m trans. And I hope one day I can meet someone who can talk about me in such a beautiful and respectful way like that,” Mae then reveals, instantly putting a smile on my face.

Everyone starts comforting Mae as the others thank me for sharing a piece of my love with them.

Surprisingly enough, after answering that question, we didn’t play truth or dare anymore and just started sharing our hardships with each other.

Mae talked about the struggles of transitioning and being one of the pioneers in our university who voiced out the issue with the school uniform, which is why LU University now allows trans to wear their preferred attire.

Kenzo from the Nursing Department also talked about the struggles that the pageant caused him. He talked about how some of his classmates teased him for wearing makeup during the pageant and for always using powder after classes. He explained to them that he’s straight, but they still tease him by calling him ’ bakla ’ ( It means gay/queer, but in the Philippines, this word is usually used as an insult ). He explained that his friends are the ones who tease him most of the time, so he doesn’t really say anything since he feels it’s just friends teasing each other. 

One of the seniors gave him advice by saying that it’s normal for friends to joke around and tease each other. But when it’s already hurting you or making you uncomfortable, it’s no longer a friendly banter but an insult on your part, and most of us completely agree with that.

Another contestant talked about her broken family and how her mom scolded her for joining the pageant last year because it would only cost them money. She said her classmates had to give out donations so she could rent a gown. According to her, it was a touching gesture, but she still couldn’t help but feel embarrassed.

This is what I meant when I said I like surrounding myself with people I’m not familiar with. Meeting and talking to them opens up so many worlds and perspectives, just like a book you’ve only seen the cover of but decide to finally read. That’s why gatherings like this help us see a better picture of what the world is really about. Maybe by listening to other people’s stories, we can realize that maybe, just for a little, our life is worth more than we thought it was.

“You know, I’ve always wanted to say something…” I decide to say, making everyone turn to me.

I finished the alcohol in my bottle before turning my head to Luke, whose cheeks were now red too, because of the amount of alcohol he had drunk.

Luke looks back at me, and then I take a deep breath and finally ask him, “What’s your problem with me, Luke Anderson Padilla? Every time you see me, you have this disgusted look on your face. Since we’re already here, and since we’re already opening up to each other, tell me your reason so we can finally get this issue settled. Come on, tell me.”

Everyone looks at Luke as he starts playing with the sand. Even his friends were encouraging him to speak up.

“This is bullshit,” Luke then says as he stands from his seat. We all thought that he’d walk away and just leave, but to my surprise, he stopped himself and went back to his seat instead.

Luke grabs another beer bottle and chugs it down, probably to gain strength from the alcohol. “I’m only saying this once because I’m tired of sharing this story with others,” Luke says, hinting that his friends already heard of this too, which could be the reason why they’re encouraging him to speak up.

“When I was in high school, I had a gay teacher who made me feel uncomfortable. He would sometimes touch my shoulder and back when we were in class, which I thought wasn’t a big deal. But then he started messaging me. I thought he’d fail me, so I replied to him most of the time. I guess I also thought we were just having a friendly conversation, but I was wrong. There was this instance when he offered to drive me home since it was raining heavily and most of the roads were already flooded. I thought he was just being nice, but this fucker drove me to a motel,” Luke shares, surprising all of us.

“He was talking about how we have to stay there and wait for the flood to subside, but as a fourteen-year-old kid, I already knew what he wanted to do to me. So with all my strength, I jumped off his car and ran away in the rain,” Luke explains further before turning to look at me.

“I know I’ve been an ass to you, Dom. As fucked up as it is, when I heard you’re gay and that you’re studying to become a teacher, I couldn’t help but remember that person. I know I shouldn’t generalize it, but…I’m sorry,” Luke then says, making me release a breath before giving him a soft smile.

Well, what do I even say after that?

Some might think that I should scold him and tell him that not everyone is like that teacher, but I don’t think that’s the best approach. I’m not saying that his story validates the hurtful things he has said to me, but as the bigger person, I should just understand his side. At least with Luke, he knows that he’s wrong. We can slowly work this out in the future.

“I guess you’re not as much of an asshole as I thought you were,” I say as I show him my beer bottle. Luke stares at it, but soon after, he shows me his, and the two of us clunk the air before taking a sip of our drink as a sign of truce.

The group cheers again. And Ash pats my back while Aries smiles at me proudly.

The night continued, and everyone loosened up after the sudden open-sharing. We drank the rest of the night away, and when midnight came, everyone got too drunk and went to bed. Some didn’t even have the strength to go back to their rooms, so there were a few guys who slept in the pool instead.

Thanks to my job in the Red Light Bar, I was just tipsy than a full-blown drunk. So before going to bed, I decided to sit near the beach to sober up a little, my feet just inches away from the shore. I close my eyes, enjoying the sound of the waves and the cold wind blowing on me. But as I enjoy the peaceful moment, someone suddenly sits beside me. I don’t know how it’s possible, but with my eyes closed, I already know who it is just by the way they sit and the way they move close to me.

A smile immediately appears on my face as I reach out to touch this intruder’s hand. When I felt them holding it back, I finally opened my eyes to face him.

“You’re not tired yet?” I ask Aries, reaching out to tuck his hair behind his ear.

Aries shakes his head before lying on the sand. I look down at him and lean forward to kiss him. But when our lips were only a few inches away from each other, I blew on his eyes instead, instantly making Aris hit me.

I laugh as I lay beside him. With our hands still intertwined with each other, the two of us stare at the stars in the sky as we try to connect them to form an image.

“Babe, look, that one looks like a bear,” Aries points out while tracing the stars with his index finger, making me chuckle.

“It actually does look like one,” I answer before turning to the bright moon just above us.

“It’s in its waxing gibbous phase, just like the first time you visited our house,” I say as I point at the moon this time, and Aries reaches out to my hand, pulling it towards his lips to kiss it.

I turn my head as we stare into each other, his eyes almost as bright and as breathtaking as the stars.

“ You know, what you said earlier made me fall in love with you all over again. You really do have your way with words, “ Aries whispers as he touches my lower lip with his slender finger.

“ I love you, “ I whisper back in reply. “ And when the time comes, I’ll be able to make everyone hear it out loud. But for now, as long as you know that I love you, this is enough for me. “

Aries moves closer to finally give me a soft kiss on my lips. “When I’m ready, will you be able to fight with me?” he then asks.

“I’ll even fight the world if I have to,” I truthfully answer, and Aries smiles before leaning close so he can rest his head on my chest.

“ That’s a dare, then. “

end.

(51) Escape

“OH MY GOD, GUYS! Wake up!” A panicked voice calls out as my body shakes back and forth. I slowly open my eyes, the sun shining onto me so bright I immediately close my eyes again.

“Dom!” The voice continues to shout, making me realize that the familiar voice belongs to my dear friend Ashley.

I decide to ignore her so I can go back to sleep, but then I start hearing waves from the ocean that’s at an alarmingly close distance. I then start feeling the wind blowing on us, so I finally open my eyes back again, only to realize that we’re actually still on the beach, Aries resting his head on my arm while sleeping without a care in the world.

I squint my eyes from the bright sky above us, but Ash looks down at me with a wide smile, blocking the sunlight from hitting my face. “Dom, it looks like you really slept well last night,” she says, obviously excited to see me sleeping with my supposed ‘crush’ on the shore like a bunch of castaways. “Anyway, you better get up before the others see you.”

“ Shit, “ I whisper under my breath, and then Diane, who’s actually standing beside Ash, looks at us with a smug look on her face.

“Aries, wake up. We fell asleep last night,” I say, and Aries—the man who is surprisingly not a morning person—grunts and casually buries his face on my chest, instantly making Ash screech like a kid while Diane puts her index finger inside her mouth so she can pretend to gag.

“ Uhm babe, we have company, so wake up, “ I then whisper, and Aries finally moves away from me while stretching his arms.

“What time is it?” Aries asks.

“It’s 6 in the morning. Thankfully everyone’s passed out drunk, so we’re the first to wake up,” Diane answers, and Aries finally opens his eyes in shock.

Aries immediately sits up and looks at Ash and Diane while trying his best not to panic. “I can explain,” Aries says, but Diane brushes him off while showing Aries her hand so she can help him up.

“It’s alright. Ashley won’t tell anyone. She’s a good kid,” Diane reassures us, and Ash looks back at Aries and nods her head to confirm that she’s not gonna tell anyone this big secret.

“Thanks for waking us up. I appreciate it,” Aries says as he finally grabs Diane’s hand so she can help him stand. Ash also helps me up, and then Aris and I brush the sand off our clothes before looking at the two girls staring at us with bright smiles on their faces.

“Is it okay to assume that the person you were talking about last night was President Aries?” Ash then asks, and Aries’s ears instantly turn red before I can even answer her question. The reaction made Diane start laughing again. She’s probably not used to seeing this version of Aries since he’s always so serious around her.

“But don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone, even my boyfriend. And if you like, I can pretend like I didn’t see a thing,” Ash says, making Aries shake his head in reply.

“No, it’s fine, you don’t have to do such a thing,” he tells her before turning to me. “And besides, Dom trusts you, so I’ll have to trust you too,” Aries then says, and Ash starts hugging Diane’s arm while screeching like a fangirl.

“I’m so jealous! And I’m not even single,” Ash says, making both Aries and I laugh while Diane pushes her off her arm.

“Alright, lovebirds, let’s head to the pavilion. They’re already serving breakfast,” Diane then says, and the four of us go together, relieved that the people who saw us are the two wonderful women who we trust the most.

…

After breakfast, all of us took a bunch of photos together, which Mae explained was somehow a promotion for next year’s pageant. We also took a couple of photos with our partners, so Ash and I had a photoshoot with our crowns and bikini by the beech, as well as Aries and Diane.

The rest of the day was once again filled with tiring yet thrilling activities, but since we’re already heading back later this afternoon, Aries, Ash, Diane, and I decided to just lazily enjoy the day by lying on a pool float shaped like pizza slices.

“I already drank one bottle, but my head still hurts,” Ash says while lying on her stomach to sunbathe.

“You just have a low alcohol tolerance,” Diane answers while reading a book. Aries is also reading a novel while I lazily lie on the float while gently touching the water in the pool, making sure I don’t accidentally fall off and drown again.

“We’re gonna have a month break before the next semester. I’m actually excited since we’re gonna graduate soon, but that also means we’re finally gonna have our OJT. You guys are lucky. Freshman year is the best year, in my opinion, so enjoy it now while you still can,” Diane explains, immediately making me look at Aries when I heard the word graduate.

Sometimes I forget that Aries is my senior and he’s graduating soon. Next year, I wouldn’t be able to see him anymore on campus or in the council office. We wouldn’t be heading home together anymore, and the worse part is, Aries is already gonna start living in the real world as an important person in society. I know I shouldn’t feel like this, but I feel like I’m gonna be left out.

If I was the same age as Aries and enrolled in the same year, what would our relationship be like then? Would he still fall in love with Blaine if I was in the picture?

“Dom,” Ash suddenly calls out, startling me.

“S-Sorry, what was it?”

“I was asking if you’re planning to go somewhere on Christmas,” Ash asks again.

“Not really. Guess I’m just gonna stay home with my mom. Maybe invite my childhood friend to celebrate with us,” I explain, making Diane put her book down so she can look at me.

“Aren’t you going anywhere with your boyfriend? This is your first Christmas together. You should celebrate it,” Diane says, and Aries and I look at each other before looking at Diane.

“Aries is heading to the US with his family tomorrow,” I explain, and a sad expression appears on Aries’s face again. It seems like this going-away-to-celebrate-Christmas issue has been on Aries’s mind. Last night we briefly talked about staying here for one more day before he leaves, but I guess that might be much of a hassle, and Aries completely knows that. 

This is probably the reason why he’s being too clingy and why he decided to come on this trip even though he doesn’t usually join them.

“You know, we can go on a trip when you get back, right?” I ask, and Aries nods his head before falling into deep thought. After a few seconds, Aries looks at me and asks, “What if I postpone my flight tomorrow night and just leave on the 25th? I’ll still be able to make it and celebrate Christmas in the States.”

“Aries, we talked about this and—”

“Please, Dom. I really want to at least celebrate Christmas Eve with you. It’s important to me,” Aries insists.

I take a deep breath and massage my temple as Diane and Ash awkwardly look at each other, unsure if they should just keep quiet and ignore us or just leave completely. 

To be fair, Aries suggested canceling his flight before, but this new suggestion is a lot better. He’s still gonna go to the US with his family. And besides, he’s already an adult. I can’t tell him not to do things that he desperately wants to do.

“You know what, fine. Do whatever you want,” I say, and a bright smile instantly appears on Aries’s face, making me sigh in defeat. 

There’s just no way I’m gonna win against him.

“Now that it’s settled. Can you guys do us a favor?” Aries then asks while looking at Diane and Ashley this time.

As soon as Diane hears what Aries said, she slams her book shut, an excited smile now present on her face. “Oh, a favor from the ever-so-charming President Aries? I’m dying to hear about it. Please, how may I assist you,” Diane sarcastically says, but thankfully Aries ignores the attitude and proceeds to ask for the supposed favor.

“Well, like what Dom mentioned, we already planned to go somewhere, only the two of us. That’s why I decided not to go home with you guys, just so Dom and I can stay here for a few more days,” Aries explains, surprising the two.

Looks like he really wants to go on this trip.

“Let me guess. You want us to do something so it wouldn’t be suspicious that the two of you decided to stay behind together,” Diane asks back, and Aries nods his head in reply.

Diane and Ash look at each other, probably thinking of what they can do for this favor.

“I mean, we can pretend to stay behind too and just head back a few hours after,” Ash then explains, and surprisingly enough, Diane nods her head in agreement.

“Wait, you guys would do that for us?” I ask since commuting back home is much more of a hassle than simply going home with everyone else on the bus.

“I mean, the others are way too noisy in the bus, and I bet Mae is planning to do another activity that will tire me out, so I might as well head home with Ashley. We’ll just tell the others that the four of us planned a separate trip together. That way, it wouldn’t be as suspicious,” Diane explains, and Ash nods her head in reply.

“Thanks, guys. We really appreciate it,” I tell them, and Diane rolls her eyes like she’s annoyed, but she eventually smiles and reaches out to touch the necklace around my neck before leaning close to whisper, “ You have to treat me lunch next time. “

“No problem,” I answer, and Aries suddenly pushes Diane off of her float, making her fall off the water.

“Aries! You fucking bastard!” Diane shouts as Ash, and I look at each other and laugh.

Aries pretends like he didn’t do anything and continues reading his book, but then Diane snatches it away from him and throws it to the side before pulling Aries by his arm so he can join her in the pool. The two start playing in the water, and Ash joins in on the fun as well. Eventually, the others arrived and jumped in, forcing me to get wet myself.

We ended the day playing in the pool and having a few more drinks before finally getting ready to head back. And afterward, the news about us staying behind was announced to everyone else. Some of the seniors actually wanted to join in and stay with us, but thankfully, Diane came to the rescue and told them that this was an important double date.

No one said anything after that.

“Looks like the bus left,” Ash says while she looks out the window.

Diane, who’s flattening her hair with a hair iron, stares at herself in the mirror before saying, “Ash and I decided to visit Fantasy World and take a bunch of pictures before heading back home.”

“But isn’t that abandoned?” I ask while texting Gelo about our sudden vacation plan and asking him to stay at home for the time being so he can look after Mama.

“That’s what makes it extra fun,” Diane answers before turning to look at Aries who’s sitting beside me on the bed, busy searching for places we can go to that are already in this province.

“How about you guys? Are you planning to still stay in this resort, or are you planning to go somewhere else?” Diane asks.

I turn to look at Aries since he’s the one planning this trip for us. “I’m not sure yet, but we’re not staying here, that’s for sure.” He answers.

“Well, check-out time is at 4:00 PM, so you guys better prepare,” Diane explains to us before looking back at the mirror one last time to check her makeup.

“Ash, I’m good to go. You ready?” Diane then asks, and Ash immediately runs to her things so she can double-check them before leaving.

“I’m ready,” she then answers.

“Looks like we’re heading out first. I’ll see you two lovebirds next semester. And enjoy your couple’s trip,” Diane says, and I immediately get up to give both of them a tight hug. I’ve had female friends back in high school, but these two are just different, just like Vicki. I guess people are right when they say you’ll find real friends in college.

“You guys stay safe,” Aries then says, reaching out to hug Ash first.

Diane then looks at him, and Aries looks back at her. I thought Aries would hug her too, but instead, he reached out to pat Diane’s shoulder, making Diane give out a small smile before looking away. The awkward tension between them made me realize that maybe we were a bit selfish for asking Diane for this favor.

Since we became good friends, I instantly forgot that the two of them had been in a relationship before. Diane has been in love with Aries for a long time, and even though she acts like she doesn’t care anymore, I guess she still—

“Aww!” I yell when Diane suddenly pinches my cheeks.

“If you look at me with those eyes again, I’m seriously gonna punch you,” Diane threatens, surprising me. But after a while, she gives out a smile and pulls me for another hug. “ I’m just glad it’s you, so don’t pity me for it, “ Diane whispers in my ear before finally pulling away. She then waves goodbye as she and Ash head out of the room, leaving Aries and me alone inside.

What was I thinking? That was Diane Montecastro. The last thing she’ll need is my pity.

“What do we do now?” I ask as soon as the door closes.

Aries looks at me and smiles, and that smile isn’t a happy kind of smile. No, definitely not. That smile is a smile that means he’s planning something, and I can’t help but feel nervous.

“I already reserved a room at a hotel that’s beside the beach. Thankfully there’s an available room for us. I also rented a car so we don’t have to worry about transpo,” Aries explains, surprising me because I didn’t expect him to handle everything like this.

I’m so lucky to have a responsible boyfriend because if it were me, we would be sleeping on the street because of how bad I am with reservations and all that adult stuff.

“You’re really excited about this, huh?” I ask as I grab him by the waist and pull him towards me so our faces can closely look at each other.

“This is our first trip together. Well, actually, it’s my first ever trip with someone that isn’t family, so this is special to me. Why? Am I too overbearing? Do you not like it?” Aries then asks with a pout, instantly making me wrap my arms around him to give him a tight hug.

“No! Of course not! I’ll do whatever you want to do and go wherever you want to go. As long as it’s with you, it’s okay with me,” I say as I look back at him, and Aries instantly smiles before leaning over to give me a quick peck on my lips.

“Then let’s fix our things and get ready.”

To be honest, I think I’m much more excited about this trip than Aries, but I decided to put my enthusiasm down a notch so we don’t both exhaust ourselves. Whenever Aries is acting like this, I step in and act a little more mature than I really am to balance us out. There are times when Aries tends to be stubborn and grumpy, especially when it’s just us, so as his boyfriend, I let him act the way he wants to act but immediately dial him down if things get out of hand.

But outside our relationship, Aries is the one who takes charge. Since he’s older than me, he becomes the mature one when it comes to life in general, especially when I make decisions that might affect my future.

I honestly don’t know if we’re doing it right since this is our first serious relationship, but I think we’re handling it better than others, which is a good start.

“Should we buy some snacks at a gas station? I think we’re getting close to one,” I say as I look at the GPS on the car.

Aries was able to rent a car for us, and thankfully, he agreed to let me drive. He still hasn’t told me where we’re exactly going, but the drive there is at least two hours, so it’s going to get dark when we get there.

“We don’t have to. We can just eat at the hotel,” Aries explains while looking through his phone.

I nod my head in understanding before concentrating on the road again. While I’m driving, Aries sighs and puts his phone down. “You okay?” I ask, quickly glancing at him before looking back at the road. “Did you already tell your family about our plan?”

“I did,” Aries answers before turning his head to the window. “I texted him and asked him to move my flight on the morning of the 25th. He agreed, but I think it’s still not enough,” Aries explains to me.

“Three days? I think that’s long enough,” I say.

Aries falls quiet as he continues to stare a the view outside the window. Since we were starting to get quiet, I turned the music on, and a love song started playing on the radio. A smile instantly appears on my face as I reach out to grab Aries’s hand. He doesn’t do anything for a while, but he eventually intertwines our fingers together like we always do when we’re on a drive.

We didn’t really say anything the entire time, but the silence and the music were enough to keep us occupied. It also helped that Aries didn’t let go of my hand until we arrived at the destination.

When we got to the hotel, I finally understood why Aries insisted on not giving me the full details of where we were supposed to go. Because when we got there, my jaw just dropped at how big the hotel looked. I haven’t even seen the rooms yet, but I already know how expensive this is gonna be.

I didn’t even bring enough money with me! This is terrible!

“Uhm, Aries, is this the hotel we’re staying at for three days, or is this building just blocking it?” I ask, making Aries laugh.

“No, this is the right place. My brother Apollo went here with his family last year. He said it was nice, so I decided to go here instead,” Aries explains like it’s nothing.

“Alright, I’m gonna say it to you straight before I drive the car inside,” I say as I park beside the pavement. I then turn to Aries and honestly ask him, “How much are we gonna split the bill? I’m telling you now. I only bought 5 thousand with me on this trip. But if it’s more, I can send you the money later.”

Aries looks at me, stunned. I honestly waited for him to laugh at me, but to my surprise, he took a deep breath and looked back at me with a straight face. “Actually, I already paid for our stay here. I was already planning to pay for everything since I was the one who insisted on this trip. But if you don’t want to, we can go somewhere else,” Aries says with a serious expression, almost like we’re talking about life and death here.

“N-No, Aries, I don’t want us to leave. I just got a little worried since I didn’t want to embarrass you. But if you insist on paying for everything, then I don’t mind. And besides, it’s like having a sugar daddy. I always wanted one,” I then jokingly say to lighten up the mood, and Aries’s ears instantly turn red in embarrassment.

“You’re so annoying,” he says while hitting my shoulder. “Just drive so we can check in.”

“Yes, sir.”

We got to the hotel; as I expected, it was very fancy and luxurious. There was a valet who drove our rented car to the parking lot, and then someone even carried our bags for us all the way to our room. This is seriously the first time I’ve ever been to a hotel like this. I should really thank Aries for letting me experience this with him.

“I’m so gonna take a bunch of pictures and show it to Mama when we get back,” I say as I’m already taking pictures of the lobby area. “Aries, it’s so white. And I can literally see my reflection on the floor,” I excitedly say, and Aries continues to watch me, not caring that others are looking weirdly at us.

“Our bags are already brought to our room. Do you want to take more pictures before we head upstairs?” Aries then asks me.

“I’m good. And it’s already late so we should rest first. I can still take lots of pictures tomorrow,” I say, and Aries nods his head and suddenly grabs my hand, startling me. 

I almost pulled my hand away in panic, but then I realized that everyone around us didn’t know who we were. We’re literally in a place where no one knows our name. Nothing can be more brilliant than that.

No longer worried about our public display of affection, Aries and I got to our room with our hands intertwined with each other. I already knew that our room was gonna look great, but when we got there, I was still blown away. For others, this might not be as much of a big deal, but for me, this was everything. The room was almost as big as our living room, dining room, and kitchen combined. I never thought I’d be able to stay here for three days.

“Babe! Look at this bed! It’s so big!” I shout, running towards the bed and throwing myself on it, instantly making me close my eyes because of how soft it is. It’s almost as soft as the bed in Aries’s aunt’s condo.

While I lie on my stomach, Aries tugs my shirt, making me turn to look at him. I thought he was gonna say something, but when I saw his face, Aries was actually pouting. If others did this to me, I would push them away because of how unpleasant it would be, but not with Aries. I think anything this man does would make me happy.

“Are you gonna admire the place and ignore me all night?” Aries complains, immediately making me sit up and grab his arm, pulling him towards me so he can sit on my lap, his body directly facing mine.

“What do you want us to do?” I ask him.

“I don’t know,” he answers.

I looked around the extravagant room and suddenly thought of an idea that might kick this trip off to a good start. Since Aries told me that he likes it when I’m rough, then I guess this is the best place to go full out. After all, we won’t be able to see each other for a while, so I might as well make the most of it now.

“Then shall I make my sugar daddy feel good as payment?”

end.

(52) Run Away [m]

“THEN SHALL I MAKE my sugar daddy feel good as payment?” I shamelessly ask, instantly making Aries’s eyes widen in complete disbelief that’s mixed with embarrassment.

“D-Dom, I don’t think this is a good ide—”

Before Aries can even finish his sentence, I stand from the bed, lifting Aries with me while he wraps his arm around my neck, clinging to me so he doesn’t accidentally fall off. While carrying him, I walk towards the light switch to turn it off, letting the orange light from the lamp beside the bed be the only thing illuminating the room.

As the warm light helped set the mood for us, I pushed Aries against the large window, showing the picture-perfect view of the beach outside and the night sky that once again graced us with a series of bright stars. Aries stares deeply into me as our lips try their best not to touch too soon. Despite Aries looking unsure, I can tell that he’s giving me his trust, letting me take the lead.

“I know you’re only gonna be gone for a week, but I’m still gonna miss you,” I tell him. “So let me be selfish tonight and have you all to myself.”

“Do whatever you want then,” Aries replies, instantly putting a smile on my face since he gave me the go signal. If he didn’t say that, I would have held back a few things.

“Good answer.”

The room falls quiet, our hearts beating faster and faster as our lips close their distance. I glance at the view behind Aries before looking at the view in front of me, his eagerness making me smile even wider. And like someone flipped a switch, I finally lean towards Aries Buan, pressing my lips on his while he continues to hold onto me tightly. The taste of his lips is familiar, his sweet scent putting me in a daze.

Aries slightly opens his mouth so I can slide my tongue inside. And as I continue to kiss him, I start to let go of him, his legs slowly sliding down so he can finally stand on both feet.

After a few more seconds, I pull away from him so we can both catch our breath. Aries takes a breather and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before looking straight into my eyes again. “ I have a condom in my pocket, “ he suddenly whispers, catching me off guard.

He really is a horny bunny rabbit.

“You must be lying, right?” I ask as I reach out to the pocket of his shorts. The left pocket was empty, but the right pocket, which had a bunch of cash in it, actually contained the condom that Aries mentioned.

“No fucking way,” I say with a chuckle, instantly making Aries look away from me in embarrassment. It seems like he’s been planning this before we even arrived. Did he imagine doing this with me all throughout our drive earlier?

“How naughty of you. What if you accidentally pulled out the condom instead of the money when we were at the reception earlier? What would have happened then?” I teasingly ask, and Aries just shakes his head, probably saying that he wouldn’t make such a mistake in public.

I guess since he’s this eager, I shouldn’t make him wait any longer.

“Alright then. We should start, right?” I ask next, and Aries adorably nods his head, almost making me push him against the window and just shove my cock in. If I didn’t control myself, I would have definitely done that.

“But we have to do something first,” I say as I remove his arms around my neck and take a step back, surprising him.

Aries gets ready to complain, but I look back at him with a much more serious expression, instantly making him shut his mouth.

“Strip,” I then command, and Aries’s eyes instantly widen. He looked at me like he was waiting for me to take my words back, but when I didn’t, he bit his lips and turned his head around to check outside, obviously bothered that he had to strip in front of a window.

There’s another building adjacent to us, but our room is dark, so I don’t think anyone will see us. And since I was admiring the building earlier, I saw that the windows in this hotel are tinted from the outside, but Aries probably didn’t notice that and still thinks that someone might accidentally see us.

Of course, I’m not gonna say that.

The thought of someone actually seeing you have sex is what makes it thrilling.

“What? You don’t want to?” I ask, which I purposely said with a playful grin just to tease him, but deep down, it’s actually a genuine question.

Aries looks behind the window again before finally unbuttoning his Hawaiian shirt. After removing his top, he glances back at me before reaching out to unzip his shorts. The way his ears were turning red almost made me laugh, but I didn’t want to do such a thing and just maintained a serious expression. At least I can watch Mr. Perfect fumble a little.

After looking back at me for one last time, Aries drops his shorts to the floor, exposing the black underwear he has on.

“That too,” I tell him.

Aries hesitates for a while, but he eventually drops his underwear too, finally exposing his hard cock while his ass faces the window. If the windows really weren’t tinted, someone would have definitely seen two moons in our room.

“Good job,” I say as I walk closer to him. “And since you did such a good job, I’m gonna give you a reward.”

Aries stares at me as I stand in front of him with a smile on my face. “You can strip me too.”

Aries was once again caught off guard, but since I didn’t say anything and just waited for him, he had no choice but to reach out to remove my shirt for me. He unbuttons my shirt and slowly slides it down my arm before leaning close to kiss my chest, making the hair on my skin stand because of how soft his lips felt. Afterward, he grabs the hem of my pants and pulls me towards him, surprising me this time.

“See, now you’re showing me your true self. That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” I playfully ask, and Aries just ignores me as he unzips my shorts, making them drop to the floor as well.

Aries got ready to pull my underwear down, but I grabbed his arm to stop him. “Wait,” I then tell him as I put the condom in his hand. “Since you’re so eager, you should put the condom on me too, right?”

Aries now starts looking annoyed, but he still rips the packet open and pulls the lubricated condom out. He then pulled my cock out of my underwear, and I kid you not, his eyes instantly lit up when he saw it. It’s like a kid opening up their gift on Christmas, and their parents got them the toy they wanted. That’s how Aries looked.

“That looks so good,” he says as he starts stroking it, making me swallow the lump in my throat.

I guess when it comes to seduction, Aries does a better job with it. He’s so observant that he knows exactly what would make me feel hot and bothered.

“I can’t wait to feel it inside me,” he then says as he finally puts it in. He sounded so sexy that I couldn’t help myself anymore. So as soon as Aries lets go of me, I immediately turn him around, slamming his body on the window as he faces the view outside, his cock pressing against the cold glass, instantly making him flinch.

“You’re such a slut,” I say before putting two fingers inside his mouth so he can lick it.

“Don’t you like it when I act like that, Daddy?” He then asks, clearly pushing me to my limits even further.

“Shit, that’s so fucking sexy,” I say as I snake my hand down to his ass so I can touch his hole. I pressed my wet fingers against his entrance, making him release a breath and fog up the window.

I slowly push a finger in, stretching him out a little before sliding the other finger. Aries’s body tenses as he presses his forehead on the window, pushing my fingers even deeper until they reach my knuckles, acting as a stopper so I wouldn’t be able to push even further.

“ Your insides feel so hot, baby, “ I whisper against his ear before licking his neck and leaving a hickey on it.

I continued to stretch his entrance so Aries wouldn’t be able to get hurt later on. But when Aries’s body was feeling more relaxed now, I slowly pulled my fingers away and positioned my cock on his hole. Without saying anything, I stretch Aries’s hole a little with my finger before finally pushing myself inside, making Aries’s body tremble in an instant. I continue to push myself inside him while constantly checking his reflection through the window.

Aries seems to be taking it in well, so I push further until everything is now inside.

“ Fuck, that feels so good, “ Aries says in between his moans.

“I’m gonna start moving, okay?”

“Go ahead, Daddy.”

I don’t know why, but something about that word just excited me so much that I ended up thrusting Aries so fast his cheeks and his cock started rubbing against the window.

“More…give me more,” Aries demands, and like the good boyfriend that I am, I start moving even faster, making him into a moaning mess.

I continue to thrust inside him while looking toward the view outside the window. I couldn’t help but smirk at the thought that someone is just looking outside their window, staring at us without any clue of what was going on in our room.

“You sound heavenly, babe,” I say as I brush my hair back with my fingers while my other hand tightly holds onto his waist.

“D-Dom…I want to face you now,” he then says, his voice sounding cuter compared to earlier.

“Alright, come here.”

I pull out and turn his body around so he can face me, and then grab his right leg, lifting it up before shoving my cock inside again. Aries buries his nails against my back, but the pain probably isn’t even comparable to his when I first pushed myself inside.

“ I love you, Daddy. I love you so much, “ Aries moans, instantly making me kiss him.

“I love you too, baby,” I reply before pressing my forehead against his.

The two of us close our eyes as I continue to push myself even deeper inside him. After a couple more trusts, I feel myself busting out any second, hinting that I’m a moment away from my climax.

“Babe, just a little bit more…” After one final thrust, I came and immediately pulled myself out. As soon as I released my seed, I removed the condom on my cock and dropped it on the floor.

“That was intense,” I say as I look back at Aries, but then I notice that he isn’t looking well at all. He doesn’t look straight into my eyes, but then Aries’s legs tremble. If I didn’t catch him on time, he would have fallen to the floor.

“Are you okay? Does something hurt?” I ask, genuinely worried about him, but Aries laughs before wrapping his arm around my neck and resting his head on my chest.

“I think I just had a dry orgasm. That never happened before,” Aries suddenly explains, making me laugh now too.

I then pull him up and carry him so I can lay him on the bed. “Shall we rest for a while?” I ask him as I gently put Aries down, going on top of him while his arms are still around my neck.

“Then we can go again after we rest,” he replies, making me laugh even more.

Aries and I look at each other as I reach out to remove his hair from his face. He then grabs my necklace and holds onto it before looking straight into my eyes again. “I love you. You know that, right?” He asks.

Somehow, the question came out of the blue, and something inside me felt a little nervous. But I didn’t want to overthink again, so I just nodded my head and leaned over to give him a kiss.

“I know,” I reassure him. “I’ve always known.”

…

The trip with Aries came by so fast that I didn’t notice that we’d already been here for two days. We did so much together on this trip that I felt like I was on cloud nine all the time. During the day, we would play at the beach, visit a bunch of tourist attractions, and eat at a restaurant that is usually hidden . I never saw the appeal, though, but if Aries enjoys going to all sorts of places just to take a picture of an ice-cream sundae beside the mountains, then that’s what we’re gonna do.

Now at night, well…we do sorts of things at night. And to be honest, I think it’s the most tiring part of the day. But again, whatever makes Aries happy, it’s fine by me.

I’m not high maintenance. Just tell me you love me and be faithful, and then I’m all good. Of course, that’s not entirely true in some cases, but most of the time, it is.

Aries, on the other hand, is the complete opposite of me, which is why I think we’re so compatible. Aries is quiet but gets demanding when we’re alone. He usually doesn’t complain verbally, but his eyes just scream it, and that’s when I fold and give in. During our trip, he even banned using cell phones because he didn’t want us to get distracted. So as an obedient boyfriend, I turn my phone off whenever we head out. But of course, when I’m alone, I turn it back on to get updates from Mama.

After all, another person I love as much as Aries is my mom. I don’t want to repeat the incident that happened last time when I didn’t even know she passed out and got sent to the hospital.

“Good morning, babe,” I say as Aries lies beside me in bed. “It’s Christmas,” I then say, and a smile immediately appears on Aries’s face.

“Merry Christmas,” he replies, leaning to give me a kiss before standing from the bed and wearing his glasses. “We’re leaving later this afternoon, right?” he then asks.

“Yeah, you still have a flight to catch tonight,” I answer, and Aries nods his head before lazily walking to the bathroom to call mother nature.

As soon as the door closes, I run to my bag and grab my phone. I turn my phone on and head to the balcony, closing the sliding door so Aries won’t be able to hear me.

“I gotta greet Mama a Merry Christmas,” I say as I wait for the phone to turn on.

I’m really glad Mama also agreed that I go on this trip with Aries. She didn’t even ask me much and just told me to enjoy my trip with my boyfriend, which is why I love her so much. We usually celebrate Christmas Eve together, but she was okay when I told her about our plans. Thankfully we’re heading back today, which means I can still celebrate Christmas with her later tonight.

As soon as my phone turned on, I saw a bunch of messages from Gelo that I completely ignored. I then open my contacts to call Mama. But just as I’m about to dial her number, someone suddenly calls me. At first, I assumed it would be Gelo, but to my surprise, it was actually my dear friend, Art.

“Arthur? Why is he suddenly calling?” I ask as I answer the call. 

“Art! Merry Christmas! How’s the weather in America?”

“Dom!” Art suddenly shouts, immediately making me pull my phone away from my ear because of how loud he is. “Thank god! I finally got a hold of you. I’ve been trying to call you for days, but you’ve been hard to reach.”

“Oh, didn’t Aries tell you? We have a no-phone policy. I just secretly use mine to quickly check on my mom,” I say before laughing at how ridiculous it is.

“Wait, so Aries is really with you?” Art then questions, and the expression on my face finally changes.

“What are you talking about? Of course, I’m with Aries. He told you that we’re going on a trip, right?” I ask, my heart suddenly beating fast because of where this conversation is going.

“No, Dom, Dad and Aries had a fight. He didn’t allow Aries to go on your trip with the pageant contestants, but he still left, and we couldn’t contact him since. I tried contacting the seniors when they got back, and they told me you guys stayed behind with Diane and Ashley, but I couldn’t contact them either. I thought something bad happened,” Art explains, surprising me.

“W-Wait, Art…are you saying Aries ran away from home?” I ask back, and Art sighs in reply, finally making me realize why Aries has been acting strange the entire time. Now that I think about it, when he arrived at the bus before the trip, he was wearing a pair of dark sunglasses until we arrived at our destination. Did he keep it on because he cried?

I don’t understand what’s going on. I thought Aries would…I thought…

“We had to cancel our flight two days ago because Aries didn’t return home. Mom has been so worried she hasn’t slept properly, and Dad is seconds away from filing a police report. Aries has been gone for four days. We’ve been so worried,” Art then explains, and the nervousness that I’m feeling now turns into a complete panic.

“Shit…Art, I’m so so sorry. I didn’t know. I thought Aries told you, I thought—”

“I knew it! You’ve been using your phone!” Aries suddenly says with a bright smile when he arrives at the balcony, finally making me snap back to reality.

“Sorry, I’ll call you back. I’ll make sure we return as soon as possible,” I assure Art before ending the call and looking back at Aries with a much more serious expression.

The smile on Aries’s face drops when he sees me, and I know that he knows that something is definitely wrong.

“Aries, did you lie to your family? Did you not tell anyone that we’re on this trip?” I finally ask, and the shocked look on Aries’s face already confirms it for me.

“Where did you—”

“So it’s true?” I cut him off, and Aries immediately looks away from me.

I curse under my breath and clench my fist in frustration. “Aries!” I angrily shout, making him flinch. “Do you know what this means?! Your mother has been worried sick about you. No one knows where you’ve been for the past few days. What would they think if they found out that I’m the one with you right now?”

“Dom, I’m sorry. It’s just that…” Aries tries to think of an explanation, but words wouldn’t really come out of his mouth. I honestly wanted him to say something. I waited for him to explain his side and tell me why he had to pull such a stunt, but Aries remained silent, and his silence made me regret that I let him keep so many secrets from me.

How did I not see that there was something going on with him? 

No, I actually noticed it, but I tried brushing it off. I should have pushed him to say more and to open up. Things wouldn’t have been a mess now if I did.

“Pack your things. We’re going back,” I say as I massage my temple, trying my best to calm down and think of a way to fix this issue.

“Dom, I’m really sorry,” Aries says as he tries to reach for my hand, but I immediately move away from him.

“I said pack your things…now.”

end.

(53) Overdue Confession

“WHY DID YOU ARGUE with your dad?” I ask before pulling out a cigarette and a lighter from my pocket so I can smoke the worries away. Aries doesn’t answer me while he checks the condition of his car that he left on campus before we went on that trip.

Aries and I didn’t say anything the entire time we went back to Manila. Even on the bus, we didn’t say a single thing to each other, and I know that we decided to remain silent so we could both think of the right words to say. I also let my emotions get the best of me and lash out in panic, so the silence helped calm me down.

I light the cigarette and start smoking while I lean against Aries’s car. After making sure that his car is safe to drive, Aries walks towards me with an awkward atmosphere around him before standing beside me.

As I exhale the smoke from my mouth, Aries glances in my direction before looking away again.

“I’m sorry,” he suddenly says.

“I told you, stop apologizing.”

“I didn’t mean to lie to you.”

“Why did you then?” I ask, pulling the cigarette out of my mouth so I can finally turn to look at him.

Aries hesitates again but takes a deep breath and finally explains, “I didn’t want to go to the US because Dad actually planned that I take my internship there.”

“What?” I ask in shock.

“I wasn’t going to come back after New Year. I was supposed to stay there for the entire semester and only return during the graduation ceremony,” he explains further. “But I didn’t want to go. I didn’t—” Aries pauses, and the look on his face instantly made me know what he was about to say next.

“No. Aries…”

“I didn’t want to be apart from you,” he finally reveals, immediately making me drop the cigarette on the concrete floor before stepping on it.

I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and massage my forehead to calm myself down. This is what I’ve been worried about ever since I heard from Art that Aries ran away from home. This was the very thing that I was worried about.

I love Aries. I love him so fucking much. But I don’t want to be the person to take things away from him, especially when it’s about his future. I don’t want to be the reason why his family got worried about him because he’s been missing for days. I don’t want to be the person who ends up pulling him down.

“We aren’t breaking up, aren’t we? You didn’t have to do all this just because we’re—”

“Dom, long-distance relationships almost never work. When we’re apart, anything can happen. And you’re younger than me, and you’re just starting college, and you’re gonna meet so many people, and I got scared that you might find someone better because I’m such a coward,” Aries suddenly explains, his eyes watery as I watch him try his best not to cry.

My heart broke as I listened to him speak. It broke for both of us.

“Aries, do you not have faith in me? Is my love that fragile to you?” I ask him, and a tear uncontrollably falls from my eyes as I look at Aries, who is worrying about such things.

“No, D-Dom. You’re not the problem. I’ve…I’ve always been the problem. You’re the only person I’ve loved this much, and I’m so scared that you’ll end up leaving me. And I don’t want you to leave me,” Aries says as tears fall from his eyes.

I stare at him and reach out for my necklace, clenching it before looking away from him. His words gave me a painful realization that almost felt like a slap in the face. It was a realization that I should have already noticed before, but I thought it was normal.

Our relationship isn’t healthy anymore.

This isn’t right.

Loving someone shouldn’t be so draining. It shouldn’t be grabbing you by the neck and strangling you until you’re unable to breathe and think of reasons.  Love should be given in the perfect amount. Not too little, yet not too much. But with the way we’re going, we’re gonna end up drowning before any of us can build a strong ship to sail.

“You’re going back home, and you’re gonna properly talk to your father about you and about your future,” I finally decide, and Aries immediately shakes his head in disapproval.

“No, Dom. I don’t want to!” He shouts, pulling my arm while I open the car door for him.

“What are you gonna do then? Huh? Where are you gonna go? Are you going to continue to worry your parents?” I ask him before shaking my head. “No, forget about your father and just think about your mother instead. Are you not worried that she hasn’t slept properly because she doesn’t know where his son has been?”

“Art already knows I’m okay. I can just stay with you for the time being,” Aries insists while grabbing my arm, frustrating me even more.

“You’re not a kid anymore, goddamn it!” I then shout back, instantly making Aries let go of me. When I saw the expression on his face, I immediately cursed under my breath and massaged my temple again.

“We’re not kids anymore, Aries. This relationship… our relationship…it’s more than just having sex and drowning in love. There is a future beyond us. There are things we have to decide on to make sure we’ll actually have a future together. And if starting now, you’re already throwing opportunities away for me and rebelling against your parents then—” I pause as more tears fall from Aries’s eyes.

“You’re not breaking up with me, are you?” He then asks, and the question caught me off guard because I didn’t expect Aries to assume I’d break things off this easily.

“N-no, I’m not. Of course, I’m not,” I reassure him. “I want us to talk about our relationship and our future properly. I want us to set boundaries so we don’t end up strangling each other. I want to fix us, but for now, you have to go home first. Please, Aries. At least do it for me.”

Aries shakes his head again, and I know him enough to know that whatever I do or say now won’t make him return back home to his family. So with no other choice left, I grabbed Aries by force and carried him to the car, instantly making him start shouting at me.

“Dom! What are you doing?! Let go!”

I ignore Aries’s plea as I shove him inside the passenger’s seat. After putting a seatbelt on him, Aries finally stops struggling.

“Why are you doing this?” He then asks me.

“Since you don’t want to go back, I’m coming with you. So just stay put and calm down,” I tell him. And even though I can tell that Aries disapproves of it, he doesn’t say anything anymore and just looks away from me.

When he finally calms down, I sigh and close the door before running to the driver’s seat. The two of us remain silent as I grab the keys from Aries’s pocket and start the car. Before driving off, I turn to Aries and clench the steering wheel.

“I love you, Aries. And that love extends to your family as you have done to my mother,” I explain to him while Aries continues to look out the window. “They’ll get mad at you, I know it. But I’ll stand behind you, and we’ll get through it together. So please stop crying and look at me.”

Aries sniffs and wipes the tears in his eyes with the back of his hand as he finally turns to look at me. “Are you sure?” He asks.

I nod my head in reply before holding his cheek and kissing him. The gesture surprises Aries, but he kisses me back eventually as more tears pour out of his eyes. As soon as we pull away from each other, I lean my forehead against his and close my eyes.

“If you’re afraid…we’ll be afraid together, right?”

…

“Looks like we’re here,” I say as I park the car right outside the Buan residence. Aries looks out the window and immediately touches his chest, obviously nervous about how this confrontation will go.

“Apo’s car is outside, which means he’s here,” Aries then says, making me nervous now too. It’s one thing to face his parents, but it’s another thing if I’m facing his brothers too. Apollo seems like a nice guy, but nice guys are always the scariest when they’re angry, and I’m not ready for that yet.

“Alright. We should just go inside and get this over with,” I say as I get out of the car. Aries sits there and hesitates, but as I stare back at him and wait for him to head out of the car too, Aries finally sighs and steps out.

The two of us look at each other and say nothing as Aries walks inside the house first. My heart starts racing as we walk our way to the front door. After removing our slippers, Aries walks inside as I timidly follow behind him. I know I said that if he’s afraid, we’ll be afraid together, but I wasn’t expecting it to be this terrifying.

“You ready?” Aries asks, and before I can even prepare myself, we arrive at the living room, and waiting for us there is none other than the Buan Family.

Arthur is sitting on the side, fidgeting with his phone, while Apollo sits on the other chair, checking his phone as well. Aunt Ana, on the other hand, is sitting on the sofa in the middle, holding a handkerchief while her eyes are completely red from crying all day. And right beside her is none other than the man of the house, Mr. Anthony Buan.

Aries stands in front of them, and for a second, everything just stops, and all I can hear is my heart beating loudly.

I take a breath and gently touch Aries’s back to push him forward so he can move closer to them. And as soon as he takes that step, his mother, Aunt Ana, immediately stands from the seat so she can run to give her son a tight hug.

“Oh god, you’re safe. Thank you so so much for being safe,” she says, and the way she’s more concerned about his safety than questioning him first made me feel relieved somehow.

“I thought something happened to you. We couldn’t find you, and I thought of the worst-case scenario. But you’re back. My baby boy is back safe and sound,” she continues to say as more tears pour out of his eyes.

Arthur looks at me and nods his head, almost as a sign of gratitude that I was able to bring his brother back. He then walks to Aries and reaches out to pat his head.

After the embrace, Aunt Ana pulls away, and Apollo finally stands from his seat to look at his younger brother with a much more serious expression, and that expression instantly made me swallow the lump in my throat. Wherever you look at it, it’s pretty obvious that Apollo isn’t gonna welcome Aries back like what their mom and Arthur did.

“You’re not even gonna say anything?” Apo asks as he approaches Aries. “ I’m sorry, Mom and Dad, for not coming home for four days. I’m sorry for making you all worried. I’m sorry that you all had to pause your lives and search for me because I decided to run away . Aren’t you at least gonna say that?“

“I’m sorry,” Aries says with his head down. I wanted to step in and say something, but I knew that the best course of action, for now, was to let Aries handle this situation himself. If he needs my help, I’ll stand with him.

“That’s it?” Apo asks back.

“What do you want me to say then? I didn’t ask to ruin your perfect schedule so you can look for your good-for-nothing brother,” Aries suddenly fires back, and Apollo instantly grabs his collar and looks at his brother like he’s moments away from punching him.

“How selfish can you be? We’ve been sleepless for days. We’ve been worried sick, and you act like this? You’re not even remorseful?” Apo angrily asks, and Aries looks away, his eyes teary.

The room falls silent, and I thought Apo would say something else. But then Mr. Buan finally stands from his seat and pats Apo’s shoulder instead, making his eldest let go of his second son without saying a single word.

Mr. Buan looks at Aries with a terrifyingly neutral expression as Apollo takes a step back. He moves closer to Aries, and I prepare myself in case he does something over the top. I thought he’d end up punching Aries, but to my surprise, he walked towards me instead and looked straight into my eyes, instantly making me gulp.

No one says a single thing, but as the sweat on my forehead streams down to my chin, the neutral expression on Mr. Buan’s face suddenly changes into a complete rage as he lifts his hand and slaps my cheek, the pain stinging so hard I couldn’t even comprehend what happened.

“Honey!” Aunt Ana shouts in shock.

“Dad! What are you doing?!” Aries then shouts as he tries to grab his father’s arm, but Mr. Buan pushes him away. Even Arthur and Apo were left speechless at what their father just did.

“You…I should have known you’re a bad influence on my son. During the time you visited, I didn’t see an ounce of class in you. You were a speck of dirt staining our perfect family gathering. I can hire the best lawyers and sue you for kidnapping, boy. Yet you have the nerve to show yourself here like you’re given the right to explain your side. What did I even expect from a commoner?” Mr. Buan then says, and his words hurt more than the slap he gave me.

I’ve never expected an actual person to say such things to someone else. To top it all off, to someone as young as his third son.

“Dad! Dom does not have anything to do with this,” Aries tries to explain. “I lied to him and told him you all knew about the trip. He doesn’t know that I—”

“You shut up. I didn’t tell you to speak yet,” Mr. Buan then says, making Aries take a step back.

I turn to Aunt Ana and the Buan brothers. No one else steps in to defend me, but the other common thing I can see in their eyes is the fear they have for the man standing in front of me. They seemed so scared of him, and I couldn’t even blame them.

It seems like I’m really facing a monster.

My heart beats fast as my legs shiver in fear. Mr. Buan’s right. I’m a commoner. I’m a bad influence on his son. He can do anything to me, and I won’t even be able to defend myself because that’s how life is. That’s always how life has been to me, but that didn’t stop me from moving forward.

I know that I am a speck of dirt that is worth less than the expensive soap these people use to wash themselves. I am a commoner who has nothing, but what I do have is a mother who raised me right. She always told me that people like us can only do one thing when we’re faced with someone with power…

“I’m sorry,” I finally say, lowering my head and swallowing my pride.

“No, Dom. Please don’t do that…” I could hear Aries say, but I still kept my head low.

“I’m sorry,” I repeat. “I’m so sorry, sir.”

I clench my fist and wait for Mr. Buan to say something. But while I continue to keep my head low, someone suddenly grabs my hand and forces me to stand. It was not Aries like I expected, but instead was my dear friend, Arthur.

“That’s enough, father. I will no longer allow you to disrespect my friend like this,” Arthur defends, making me look at him in shock. But before their father can even say anything, Arthur turns to me and says, “Dom, leave for now. We’ll handle our family problems privately. I apologize for getting you involved with this.”

I look up and find Apo nodding his head in agreement, as well as Aunt Ana, who looks completely apologetic.

“Go…” Apo then says.

I swallow the lump in my throat and take a step back. But as I turn to Aries, I see an expression on him that instantly makes me stop.

“Mr. Buan,” I bravely call out. “Aries made a wrong choice, but I will personally apologize regardless. And as you said, I have no right to explain my side, so I’ll remain silent on that part. But regarding his US internship…I hope you can properly talk to him about it and convince him to go. That’s all,” I say, glad I was able to say all that without stuttering.

“Good,” Mr. Buan says with a smug look on his face. “You two should find better friends,” he then adds while looking at Aries and Art.

I look back at Aries and give him a reassuring smile, mentally telling him that I’m alright and we can just talk after he sorts things out with his family. When I’m certain that he’ll be fine, I turn around and walk away. But as I got close to the exit, a voice called out for me. A voice that instantly made my heart pound louder than earlier.

“Dom…” Aries’s voice echoes in the room, making me stop at my heel.

“Dom…” he calls out again, finally making me turn around to face him.

“You have nothing else to say, right? So let me leave,” I say, but his determination scared me to the point where I couldn’t even say anything when he walked in front of me, facing his father on my behalf.

“What are you doing?” Mr. Buan asks him.

Aries takes a deep breath and turns to me, his eyes filled with tears, but his face showed me a smile that made me sigh. It wasn’t a sigh of disapproval, though. It was a deep breath of worry and acceptance, acceptance that the words that would soon come out of Aries’s mouth would greatly shift the course of our already complicated relationship.

“D-dad…Mom…Apo…I should have said it earlier. This man…Domingo M. Adlawan…” Aries pauses, and the way he’s just trembling immediately makes me grab his hand to hold it, assuring him that I am here, standing behind, beside, and in front of him as he takes the biggest leap he’s ever done in his life.

Mr. Buan, Aunt Ana, and even Apollo looked at us with complete shock, staring at our hands as we intertwined them together. They couldn’t really understand what they were seeing, but what Aries said next left them completely speechless.

“I can fully accept the punishment you’ll give me for what I’ve done, but I will not accept the disrespect you have shown to the person I love,” Aries bravely reveals to his family. “I’ve hidden myself long enough. I’ve been the perfect student, brother, and son to all of you. I shut my mouth and remained quiet because I was afraid of disappointing you. But I can’t do it anymore. There is something greater that I want to protect, so I believe it’s about time I told you this overdue confession. So please…it’s your turn to shut up and listen.”

end.

(54) Pain & Disappointments

THE ROOM BECOMES SUFFOCATINGLY quiet that I don’t even notice that I have been holding my breath the entire time. Everyone just stares at us, their expressions almost completely unreadable. I can’t tell if they’re just shocked, confused, or disgusted. But what I do know is that Mr. Anthony Buan is not gonna let this matter go lightly.

“A-Aries…what are you talking about?” Aunt Ana asks as she looks at both of us with her eyes furrowed.

Aries swallows the lump in his throat and squeezes my hand even tighter as he answers, “Dom is my boyfriend. We’ve been together for over a month now, but I’ve liked him even longer than that.”

“So you’re saying that—”

“Yes, Mom,” Aries says, and the words he’s been keeping all this time finally come out of his mouth. I felt so scared yet proud that a tear instantly fell from my own eyes when I heard him say it out loud.

“I’m gay,” he reveals. “I’ve liked men for as long as I can remember. I’m sorry,” he then apologizes, and Aunt Ana instantly starts crying. I’m not sure if she’s crying because she’s disappointed or because Aries feels the need to apologize because he’s gay. But I want to be optimistic and say that it’s the latter part.

“ She’s gonna accept him. She’s gonna accept him, “ I repeatedly say, almost like a desperate prayer.

“Oh, Aries…my sweet boy,” Aunt Ana says as she wipes her tears with her handkerchief. She then walked towards Aries, and for a second, I got scared because I thought she might end up slapping him too like what their father did to me. But to both of our surprise, Aunt Ana reaches out to give Aries a tight embrace, making me let go of Aries’s hand so the two of them can have their moment together.

“Don’t apologize,” she tells him. “I’ve failed as a mother because you had the need to apologize for something like this. I’m sorry, Aries. I’m so sorry.”

Aries’s eyes are wide in shock, dumbfounded by the fact his mother hugged him despite what he said. But I guess I’ve already expected the response from her. Anastasia Buan looks gentle and kind, and the aura around her just radiates with so much love. I’m glad this is how she took the news.

“Thank you, Mom,” Aries says as Aunt Ana pulls away from him.

Arthur smiles brightly, glad his brother can finally put down the biggest load he’s been carrying on his back. Apollo, on the other hand, is still left speechless. He’s obviously surprised about this, and you can tell that he wasn’t able to put the puzzle pieces together in the past, unlike Art. He was not mad, though, just confused.

I guess since Apollo has his own burdens as the eldest, so he hasn’t been able to pay much attention. But I can tell he regrets it by the way he looks at Aries. There’s this regret in his eyes and then a sudden realization. It’s almost like he finally realized something about his brother.

But of course, every good thing has its bad. Unlike Art and Aunt Ana’s reaction, Anthony Buan’s take on this matter was totally different.

“Dad…” Aries calls out as he faces his father next.

Mr. Buan stared at him for a while, and I once again got scared that he might end up slapping him too, but he didn’t. He surprisingly remains calm for a while, but then he starts laughing, almost like he heard the funniest thing in the world.

“Dad, did you hear what I—”

“I don’t have a gay son,” Mr. Buan suddenly says like it’s a fact. “I don’t have a son who fucks men, so stop talking nonsense.

“Honey…” Aunt Ana says, reaching out to touch Mr. Buan’s hand, but her husband only pushes it away.

“This boy better leave my house now or else,” Mr. Buan tells me before turning back to Aries. “And you. I’ll have a word with you, so head back to your room before I completely lose my temper. This conversation is over. I don’t want to hear any more of this rubbish,” he then commands, but Aries takes my side and keeps his ground.

“No,” he bravely tells him, a single word that means more than just his defiance.

“No?”

“This conversation is not over. You will accept him as much as you will accept me,” Aries says, making his father laugh at him again.

“Accept you? I don’t have a child who pretends to be a girl. So you better head back to your room now, or I will no longer accept you as my son,” Mr. Buan then says, his words hurting me more than I thought they would, even though it’s not directed at me.

“Dad, why can’t you accept the fact that I’m not what you thought I was? I just don’t like women! I’m still the same person. Nothing has changed!”

“You will not embarrass our name, Aries! You will not embarrass this family!” Mr. Buan then shouts back right in front of Aries’s face while pointing his fingers at him, his face now red because of anger.

The room instantly falls silent as the two of them throw shots at each other. Aries stares at his father and looks at the rest of his family before looking back at Mr. Buan again. He then chuckles at himself, almost like he realized something. 

“Embarrass this family? Or embarrass you?” He asks.

“You are a Buan whether you like it or not,” Mr. Buan fires back. “I provided for you and gave you a life others have dreamed of. You owe me everything I have given you. You have the obligation to make sure this family continues its legacy,” he explains, and Aries looks at him like he couldn’t believe everything his father just said.

“Dad, I am not a business investment. I’m your son. I am your son. It was your obligation to—”

“I gave you a life!”

“Then I wish you fucking didn’t!” Aries shouts at the top of his lungs. And at that moment, everyone in the room instantly knew that Aries had finally snapped and had enough. This is the moment where he no longer cares about feelings and opinions. And this was the moment I hoped would have never happened. Because behind such anger…is a broken heart that just shattered after realizing his father might never accept him.

“Y-You…you’re always like this. Even when I was a kid,” Aries says as he turns away from his father to wipe his tears with his trembling hand. “Do you think I wanted to be like this? Do you think I wanted to be gay? To be different? Do you think I just woke up one day and decided this is how I’m going to be? To purposely put myself in a world where I’m not accepted?” He asks as my own tear pours out of my eyes.

“I’ve had sleepless nights as I worry about getting caught and accidentally slipping the mask that hides who I really am inside. I drowned myself with alcohol to the point of insanity and fucked women because I thought it would make me straight. But dear God Almighty, I can’t change even if I tried,” Aries explains, his words starting to get heavier and heavier that everyone else was left crying, except for Anthony Buan.

“I am so tired of pleasing you. So if you can’t accept me as I am, then I can’t accept you as my father either,” Aries says as he turns to me. He then grabs my arm so we can head out, but then Mr. Buan holds us back by saying the only word I thought he’d never tell Aries.

“Fine! Do you think I’d want a f-ggot as a son?!”

“Hey! You’re going too far!” I finally shout as I barge towards him, but Aries immediately pulls me away so I don’t end up punching his own father.

“Dom. It’s okay,” Aries says as he glares at Mr. Buan. “What do you even expect from someone who also keeps Albie hidden in his room because he’s embarrassed by the fact he’s special? He always has a way of hiding things that don’t suit his standards.”

As soon as Aries says those words, Mr. Buan lifts his hand again as he attempts to hit Aries. I immediately pull Aries away and cover him, but as we wait for the impact, someone suddenly goes in between us.

It was none other than Anastasia Buan, Aries’s mom.

“Enough, Anthony! This is our son you’re speaking to. This is my son you’re speaking to, and I will not let you treat him like this!” Aunt Ana shouts, her eyes so red because of how much she has cried during this whole exchange.

“I know you’ve also been restless since he went missing, but you have gone too far. This family…I have protected this family as much as you have. I threw away my dreams to be a housewife and take care of the children while you provide for them, but you did not hear a single word from me. You are the man that I love and the man I married, and I will not let you ruin this family because of your selfishness!” Aunt Ana angrily shouts as she starts hitting Mr. Buan’s chest.

“I will not let you, Anthony…I will not let you hurt my children,” she continues as the tears pour out of her eyes uncontrollably while her trembling hands now clench on her husband’s shirt.

“Mom…” Apollo calls out as his own eyes are filled with tears.

This must be the first time they ever saw her explode like this.

Anastasia Buan looks like the perfect wife who has everything under control, but now she looks tired and defeated. And as a son of a single mother, that look has been very familiar to me.

This is a woman who gave birth to four amazing sons. She took care of them on her own while her husband worked. And despite the perfect life people thought they had, she was carrying a heavy load like the rest of his sons. I can only imagine what it’s like to be in her shoes.

“Go. You and Dom should leave for now. Let your father calm down for a while. We’ll talk to him, so go,” Aunt Ana then says as she turns to Aries.

Aries looks like he doesn’t want to leave, but he clenches his fist and grabs my arm anyway before pulling me out of the house, leaving his family inside. 

As soon as we got out, I immediately wrapped my arms around Aries to give him a tight hug. “I’m so fucking proud of you. So fucking proud,” I tell him, and Aries starts sobbing again,

“Dom,” Aries calls out as he buries his head on my shoulder, his hands tightly holding onto my shirt while his tears continue to pour out of his eyes. “I was so scared, Dom. I was so so scared.”

“It’s okay,” I assure him as I gently kiss the top of his head. “We’ll be able to work this out. Your father will eventually understand.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“We’re gonna force him to understand until the day he dies. We’ll prove that to him until the universe finally decides to change his tides,” I tell him, and Aries finally lifts his head to look at me. I reach out and wipe the tears from his eyes. But as I was doing so, a figure appeared behind us. 

It was the eldest son of the Buan family, Apollo.

Apo looks at us, so I immediately let go of Aries. I thought he was going to say something to him, but instead, he grabbed Aries and gave him a tight hug. He didn’t say a single word, but I knew that this meant more to Aries than anything.

“Aunt Venus went back from the States yesterday. You can stay with her at her condominium for the time being,” Apo then says as he pulls away from Aries. He then turns to me and continues, “And I’m sorry for how our father treated you, Dom. I am ashamed. Truly ashamed. But I hope you can also accept my thanks for always taking care of my brother.”

“No problem,” I say as Apo pats my shoulder.

“Thank you, Apo. I’ll call you,” Aries then says as he gives his brother one last hug before we head inside his car to escape to their aunt’s place like it’s some kind of safe haven.

…

“Aries! I heard from Apo. Thank goodness you’re okay,” Venus Buan, Anthony Buan’s youngest sister, says as we arrive at her condominium. “Did Anthony hurt you? Did he say anything?”

“I’m fine, Aunty. I just need a little rest.”

The two of them hugged each other while I stood behind them. Aries told me that her aunt isn’t close to her family anymore, but by the way she looks, she doesn’t seem to be bothered by it at all. Not that it’s a bad thing. I’m just saying that she looks…happier…despite the issues she has with her family.

I guess that’s another toxic trait of the Filipino culture. It’s difficult, and almost impossible, to cut your family off even if they treat you badly because of the concept “ utang na loob,“ which means the debt of gratitude and reciprocity. Because they gave you a home, fed you, and paid for your school tuition, you now have this unspoken rule that whatever happens, you can’t answer back because you have to consider everything they’ve done for you, and you also now have the obligation to give back what they gave you.

We always use the reason, “ They’re the only family I have, so I have no choice, “ but that shouldn’t be the case at all. So props to Aunt Venus for getting out of that toxic environment.

“By the way, Aunt Venus, this is Domingo M. Adlawan, my boyfriend,” Aries suddenly introduces, immediately making me take a step forward to introduce myself properly.

“Good evening, Ms. Venus,” I say, and Aries’s aunt suddenly looks at me in shock. I thought something was wrong, but then she smiled and gave me a hug too.

“It’s good to meet you, Domingo. And please, Aunt Venus is fine,” she says, and I instantly smile and hug her back.

“Dom is fine too,” I reply as we pull away from the hug.

Aunt Venus nods her head and turns to Aries. “You should take a bath first so you can calm yourself. I luckily bought clothes for you. They’re in your room,” she tells him.

Aries nods his head before turning to me. I smile at him and nod my head back, so Aries finally makes his way to the bathroom to wash up, leaving me alone with Aunt Venus.

I stand there awkwardly as she turns to look at me this time. I guess since she’s a Buan, her presence is also intimidating and overwhelming. “Dom, are you staying the night?” She asks.

“Oh, no, I’m heading back later. Mom is probably worried too, but I’ll stay for a little while until Aries feels better,” I explain, and Aunt Venus smiles wider as she nods her head in understanding.

“Then take a seat first while I make some tea for us,” she says, so I immediately went to the dining area to take a seat.

While Aunt Venus prepares the tea, she turns to me and says, “I think I’m the first person to know that you two are together because Aries once asked me to use this condo to surprise you for getting that scholarship. But I only knew you as Domingo back then, and he didn’t even want to send a photo. He’s very selfish when it comes to you, yet he calls me immediately when he’s troubled. You don’t know how many times he’s called me for advice. But don’t tell him that.”

“I’m s-sorry,” I awkwardly say, making her laugh.

“No, don’t apologize. I wasn’t complaining. I just find it lovely since Aries doesn’t usually act like that,” Aunt Venus explains as she puts two cups on the table, pouring the tea for us before taking a seat on the opposite chair from mine.

“I’ve known Aries’s sexuality since his first year in high school. He was crying and confused at that time, and as his aunt, it was difficult for me to say the right words to him,” she then shares before taking a sip of the tea she made. “A part of me wanted him to come out, but another part of me also wanted to protect him from getting hurt by his own family. That’s why I was the first person to tell him to suppress it for now until he graduates. And I guess that’s my biggest regret.”

“But you only wanted what’s best for him, right? And seeing how his father reacted, you made a good call. Who knows what he would have done to Aries if he found out about it when he was still a minor.” I say before taking a sip of the tea as well.

Aunt Venus smiles at my explanation and nods her head in agreement. “Now I know why he likes you,” she says. “But I guess you’re right. I’m just glad when there are problems, he runs to me for help. I always wanted him to feel that he’s not alone in this.”

“He must have trusted you then,” I tell her, and Aunt Venus smiles before suddenly pulling her phone out.

“You want to see my husband?” She asks out of nowhere. “He’s from Italy, but we’re both working in the States now. We met at work and just hit it off instantly. Here’s a photo of us when we got married.”

I don’t know why she’s suddenly showing this to me, but when I saw the picture on the screen, I was surprised. The person she was with in the photo was another woman. And that finally made me realize why she’s been the most supportive of Aries.

“My husband, Enzo, hadn’t transitioned yet when we decided to marry twenty years ago in the Netherlands, so you can only imagine how my family reacted when they found out I was marrying a woman, especially our father,” Aunt Venus says as she hides her phone back. “I fell in love with him when he looked like that, and I’m still in love with him now when he decided it’s time to transition. Enzo is the person I love regardless of what he decides to be, but for our family, it was difficult to understand.”

“Is that why you cut yourself off from them?” I ask, and Aunt Venus takes a deep breath and nods her head.

“I couldn’t stand how they treated my husband. They’d jokingly say offensive things to him right in front of his face, and my father just kept matching me with other men in hopes of ‘straightening’ me up. That’s why I decided to leave,” Aunt Venus explains.

“But do you know what I do regret the most?” she then adds as I shake my head. 

“It’s the fact that I wasn’t able to break the generational trauma,” she answers with a sad smile. “Instead of trying to make them understand, I ran away from them at the age of 25, leaving my other siblings with our abusive and homophobic father, who probably brainwashed them, and a mother who was too much of a Catholic that she’d rather hurt her children than the bible.”

“But that wasn’t your obligation. You had to leave,” I tell her, and Aunt Venus sighs and nods her head like she already knew that, yet she still feels guilty.

“That’s what Enzo says to me too, but that’s just how I feel. I’m not justifying how Anthony is now, but I just want to say that he was greatly influenced by our dad, who pushed him to be a real man , especially since there are six of us and five of them are all daughters,” Aunt Venus explains, which somehow did put a few things to perspective, but it’s still not enough for me to forgive him.

“But he’s still an asshole, though,” she then adds, making both of us laugh.

“That I can agree with.”

As we were letting the time fly by, enjoying the tea and the conversation, the restroom door opened, indicating that Aries was now done taking a shower.

Aunt Venus finishes her drink and stands from her seat. “I’ll give you two some space to talk privately. I’ll just be in the room if you need me,” she tells me.

“Thank you, Aunt Venus. Thank you for the tea as well.”

Aunt Venus smiles and nods her head before reaching out to gently pat my shoulder. But before leaving, she looked back at me for one last time to reveal something that I wasn’t immediately able to connect. 

“And Dom, when you head home, can you tell Yade that she did a great job raising a smart and kind boy like you? As her previous senior partner…tell her that I am very proud,” Aunt Venus suddenly reveals, instantly making my eyes widen in shock as I remember what Professor Gomez said about Mama’s previous senior partner in the past.

“W-wait..you—”

end.

(55) My Universe

“ I DON’T WANT TO

stir up drama, but my friend—the senior who got partnered with her, had a huge crush on her back in the day. Of course, they’re married now too, but it’s just strange to have her son in my class now ,“ I remembered Professor Gomez telling me before, and I couldn’t help but let a shiver run down my spine at the realization.

My mom and Aries’s aunt knew each other in the past. But what’s more shocking is that Aunt Venus had a crush on Mama all this time. She had a freakin’ crush on her!

Seems like the Buan family has a type.

“I can’t believe it. You’re my mom’s previous senior partner,” I say, making Aunt Venus chuckle.

“That’s why I got surprised when I heard your surname. I knew her as Yade Marquez, but then I remembered how she invited me to her wedding. I couldn’t go because I was already working in the States at that time, but I’m glad to have met her son after all those years,” she explains, instantly making me smile even wider.

I don’t know why, but something about this made my heart feel warm. I feel like Aunt Venus is a part of my family history now. A person who I may as well consider family.

“You know, I actually confessed to her during my graduation,” she then reveals, surprising me even more. “She obviously rejected me, but she told me the sweetest thing before we officially parted, and I remember it to this day.”

“She did?”

Aunt Venus pauses and takes a step closer to me. And then she grabs me by the shoulder and says, “She told me, ’ One day, you’ll find someone who will show you the beauty of the universe .’”

As soon as I heard what Mama once told her in the past, my eyes instantly became teary. She really is my mother. She knows how to say flowery words to people too. Looks like I learned a lot of things from her without me even noticing.

“Thank you for telling me. I hope one day you and Mama can meet again,” I say, and Aunt Venus smiles and nods her head in agreement.

“I hope so too,” she replies, and then Aries finally walks towards us while drying his hair with a towel.

“Are you two talking about Mama Yade?” Aries suddenly asks as he approaches me, instantly making me look at him with shock because I didn’t expect him to know about this too.

“W-Wait, you knew about it all this time?” I ask.

“I’ll leave you two be,” Aunt Venus then says as she heads her way to her bedroom, closing the door so she can give us the privacy we need.

Aries chuckles at my shocked expression and walks his way to the balcony. I followed behind him, and the two of us stood there, staring at the view of the city. After keeping his silence for a while, Aries takes a deep breath and finally says, “Remember the time we visited Mama at the hospital? When we met Sed? That’s when she told me about my aunt. She told me to keep it a secret from you for a while, but she kinda gave me the strength to finally confess to you, too, after I heard her story.”

So that’s what they were talking about back then? But what does Aries mean when he says Mama gave her the strength to confess? Does that mean—

“W-Wait, are you telling me…Mama liked your aunt too?!” I ask in shock, and Aries chuckles and nods his head, surprising me even more.

“She told me that when my aunt confessed to her, she rejected her because she wasn’t sure if the like that she was feeling about her was the same as my aunt’s. Mama told me that she doesn’t really regret rejecting her and marrying your father, but she also said that she always thought of the what-ifs. She wanted me to be honest so that I wouldn’t have to ask the same question, and that’s when I finally knew I had to do something about… us,” Aries explains to me, leaving me dumbfounded.

Mama actually helped with our relationship? She’s the reason why Aries confessed?

“It seems like we were both bound to meet. We were connected to each other before we could even realize it,” I tell him, and Aries smiles and looks back at the scenery in front of us.

“I’m sorry, Dom, for lying about the trip. And I’m sorry about what my father did and said to you. I’m really ashamed and embarrassed to the point where I can’t even look you straight in the eye anymore,” he says, and I shake my head to disagree with it.

“The thing with your father…that’s not something you should apologize for. You shouldn’t be ashamed on his behalf.”

“I know. I just want to apologize.”

“You always want to apologize.”

“It’s because it’s the only thing I can do when I’m upsetting people.”

“Who said I’m upset?” I then ask, and Aries finally turns to look at me again. The two of us don’t say anything, but then Aries reaches out to my hand that’s holding onto the balustrade, putting his hand on top of mine and squeezing it gently.

“Dom…” he calls out, his gentle voice making me look away from him while my chest tightens. “You were afraid to say it out loud earlier, weren’t you?” He then asks. And I knew at that moment that what he was about to say next was something that I never wanted to hear from him.

“You were right. Our relationship…it’s not doing us any good. This isn’t how it should be,” he tells me. And as I turn to look at him, I realize that Aries’s eyes are already filled with tears. And the pain on his face made my eyes start watering too.

“Let’s take a break,” he finally says, the words echoing in my ear like a broken record. “Let me fix me and the issues with my family, and I promise…I promise I’ll come back to you. I will always come back to you.”

I look away from Aries again and quickly wipe my tears, but Aries touches my cheek and forces me to look back at him. He leans close, and then he gives me a kiss, his lips quivering as he presses it on mine.

I slowly kiss him back, and afterward, I pull away and lean my forehead against his. I reach out to his necklace and then close my eyes as the wind blows on us, reminding me of the time we were sitting in front of the beach, acting as if we were the only people left in the universe that is vast and unknown.

But despite 8 billion people living in this world, the universe made the two of us meet. And how lucky am I to experience love with someone as beautiful, mysterious, and kind as you?

“Don’t leave me, okay?” Aries then asks, and I open my eyes and wipe the tears on his cheek with my thumb, reassuring him that I will wait for as long as it takes.

“When you are afraid, I will be afraid with you. And until the day you tell me you don’t love me anymore, and until the moon no longer needs the sun to shine bright at night…I will never leave you, Aries Buan.”

…

“Merry Christmas, Yade! We’ll see you next week!” A bunch of teachers from my mom’s school says as they walk out of the house. Once they left, I took a deep breath and walked inside, where I found Mama washing the dishes in the kitchen.

“Ma,” I call out, and Mama immediately turns the faucet off to face me.

“Dom! You’re back! How’s your trip with Aries?” She asks, but when she sees the look on my face, she immediately gives me a comforting smile. Without saying anything else, she opens her arms wide, and I walk up to her so she can give me a tight embrace.

She pats my head while I cry on her shoulders like a kid. And Mama let me release all these emotions without saying a single thing. And she does this to me all the time, especially when I’m hurt or when I’m in pain.

After a couple of minutes, I finally calmed myself down and sat at the dining table while Mama handed me the remaining fruit salad in the fridge.

“I’m sorry if I wasn’t able to celebrate Christmas with you,” I say, and Mama looks at the clock and replies, “What are you talking about? It’s still 10:00 PM. Today is still Christmas.”

“Ma…”

“Shh. Just eat your salad. I know you’re tired after that trip,” she then says before taking a seat beside me and reaching out the brush my hair back with her fingers.

I stare at my mother as she wipes my tears away with a towel. Her youth has left her, and I can see that she’s tired. But despite that, she’s still beautiful. She radiates with so much beauty and love that I can’t help but reach out and hug her again. Mama got startled, but she didn’t say anything nor ask me any questions.

“I love you, Ma,” I tell her, and Mama gently kisses my head before answering, “I love you too.”

After the second hug, I pull away from her and release a heavy breath, giving Mama a signal that we can finally talk about whatever is happening with me.

“How was your trip?” She asks first.

“It was great. It was actually the best trip I’ve ever been to in my life. Next time, we should go there together. We should go to the beach and just relax. I’m sure you’re gonna enjoy it,” I tell her, and Mama smiles and nods her head.

“And Aries? How’s Aries?” She asked next, and that question finally made me look away from her.

I composed myself for a couple of seconds and thought of the right answer before telling her, “Aries and I are on a break. His parents finally found out about our relationship, and it’s safe to say that his father despises me and probably blames me for what happened to his son.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t—”

“Our relationship isn’t healthy anymore,” I reveal, making Mama stop talking midsentence. “I get too angry when Aries does something that might hurt him, and Aries is willing to throw away opportunities because he doesn’t want to be apart from me. This isn’t how it should be. We’re in love, right? But why are we doing this to each other and to ourselves?” I ask my mother like she has all the answers.

“Why is loving someone so hard, Ma?” I then ask, making her give out a sad smile.

“Loving someone isn’t hard, son. Expressing it is. Keeping it is harder. Nurturing it is harder. But loving someone? That’s the easiest part,” Mama explains. “You’re young, Domingo. I know sometimes it can feel like it’s the end of the world, but when you’re loving someone right, it shouldn’t be so terrifying.”

“So we were loving each other wrong?” I ask, and Mama shakes her head to disagree with it.

“Maybe not wrong, but just a little too much. I always watched over you two, and I can tell that you both overflowed with love. I can see the excitement and the eagerness, but I guess it drowned you both,” Mama explains further before looking down at her finger that still has her wedding ring.

“Let me share something with you, Dom. Something we never really talked about since your papa died,” Mama then tells me. “I met your father when I was a teacher, and I fell in love with him because he was kind and sincere. My mother hated him because he didn’t have a proper job, but I loved him nonetheless. We got together and married each other just a few months after. But you know what I realized when we got married?”

“What?”

“Our love was too quiet,” she answers. “We were busy with our work and busy raising you. We didn’t have time to be passionate or sweet or go on dates and trips. I think the only time we said I love you to each other was when I gave birth to you. But the quiet was okay. For me, the silence was peaceful and safe. But then…your father cheated on me.”

Mama pauses and immediately wipes the tears that are now forming in her eyes. This time, it’s my turn to grab her hand and squeeze it. It’s been such a long time, but I can tell that it still hurts her even now.

“The love I had for your father crumbled, and I blamed myself because I didn’t express it enough. And then when he found out you were gay and started treating you differently, I just—” Mama started crying even harder, and I immediately got up and gave her a glass of water.

I didn’t have a lot of memories with Papa other than the fact he forced me to do all kinds of ’ manly ’ sports to straighten me up. I guess when I was kid, I even wondered myself if he ever loved us. Maybe he had his own way of expressing it, but it just wasn’t enough.

“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this,” I say as Mama grabs the glass of water from my hand.

“No, it’s fine. Sit down,” she then insists, so I nod my head and go back to my seat. I guess she needed this talk too as much as I did.

“Love can’t be too loud or too silent. It has to be balanced, and it has to make you feel free, not chained. When I was with your father, I told myself it was enough, but the truth is, it wasn’t, and I’m sure it wasn’t enough for your father either. But what I’m trying to say is that the love you and Aries have is beautiful. But maybe you made the right decision by being apart and balancing out your life and your relationship first,” she says.

“But I’m afraid,” I honestly tell her, and Mama smiles like she has uttered the same words in the past.

“Then be afraid. Fear means you worry and you care. But behind fear should be trust. And if the universe believes that you two are meant to be, then you will be able to work things out and be together again. But whatever the outcome may be, just know that I am here,” Mama then says, and I lean over to give her another hug. I knew at that moment that she really was my mother because she said the exact words I needed to hear.

“Thanks, Ma.”

“I’ll always be here,” she repeats while patting my head. “Because you are my son. And even when you lie, I will support you in every decision you make,” she then adds, immediately making me pull away and look back at her with complete shock.

“Wait, what do you mean you—”

“How long do you think you’ll be able to fool me into believing you’re working at a computer shop?” She then says, and my jaw literally drops. Does nothing go past my mother unnoticed?

“H-How did you know? Did someone tell you?”

“Well, at first, I was skeptical about the computer shop gig because you always come home late and smell like alcohol and cigarette. And then, on your birthday, I saw the expensive gifts you hid under your bed. That’s when I interrogated Gelo, and he told me everything,” Mama explains, almost making me face-palm myself because I felt like an idiot.

And Gelo! How could you betray me like this?! You’re the one who gave me this job in the first place! You can fight gangs just fine, but when it’s Mama, you surrender without a second thought?

“I don’t even know how you thought I’d never find out,” Mama says with a chuckle.

“Are you mad?” I then ask her, and Mama takes a deep breath and shakes her head.

“I’m worried, of course. And I’m scared that you might experience terrible things, which I believe you already did, and I won’t be there to comfort you,” she answers, and that’s already enough to make me start crying again.

Words start flowing out of my mouth as I tell my mother everything that I’ve been through while working in the Red Light Bar. I then told her about Madam Scarlet, Gin, Jack, and the rest of the employees who have been kind to me. Mama was delighted to hear about them and even teased that she should visit sometime, but she also gave me advice that I shouldn’t work there too long, especially when I’m studying to be a teacher.

After talking for about an hour, I helped Mama wash the dishes and went back to my room to rest. Despite everything that happened to me today, Mama was able to make me feel safe and secure with just her motherly comfort and words of wisdom. Other than Aries, or maybe even Gelo, I will do everything for my mom.

She’s my world, after all.

“Merry fucking Christmas,” I say as I remove my shirt and sit at the edge of my bed, which already has Aries’s scent since he stays here more than in his own bedroom. I then reach out to my necklace and stare at it with a sad smile on my face. I bring the pendant to my lips and gently kiss it before lying on the bed and looking out of the window, staring at the moon just above me as I recall the memories I had with Aries Buan, my number 22.

Aries is a reliable council president who everyone likes. He’s smart, handsome, responsible, and even loaded. He’s everyone’s dream guy, and that image that they have of him became a mold that shaped his very being. But when Aries was facing me, he wasn’t like what everyone else perceived him to be. He’s actually cold, frank, and, most of the time, quiet. He’s spoiled too, and when things don’t go his way, he easily becomes angry. He’s not a morning person like others would think. And to top it all off, he likes cold showers.

We did have a rough start, but you can’t deny the fact that he’s kind. 

When I was feeling terrible wearing my school uniform because I got assaulted, Aries was the one to make me feel better. When I had no money to eat, he literally fed me and kept it a secret from my friends. He helped me study and ace my exams, assisted me with the pageant I won, and even tutored me until I got my scholarship.

Aries Buan is more than just my senior partner. But he’s also a man who locks himself up in a closet that has a code that no one else knows about. But as I got to know him more, the codes started appearing one by one, and like I was given a once-in-a-lifetime chance, I got to open him up, and he stood in front of me, bare and true.

I was always insecure, and he was always afraid. But despite our differences, he became the very person I decided to love. And that love exceeds all.

Sometimes I wonder, if I met him earlier or if I was the same age as him, would our paths still cross like they did? Will I still be able to look into his eyes and love him as I do now?  I’ll never have answers to these questions, but that’s fine. As long as I see a future with him, I can forget the past and endure the present.

“ Fix your relationship with your parents…take that internship in the States…and then come back. Have it all, Aries Buan. Take everything, and come back to me, “ I whisper under my breath as I slowly close my eyes.

But as I got closer to falling asleep, the phone in my pocket suddenly vibrated. I pulled it out to check, and to my surprise, Diane sent me a link. I clicked the link and found that Aries actually posted something. I didn’t know what to expect, but as soon as I saw the photo and the caption, a smile accompanied by tears instantly appeared on my face.

“You always have a way of surprising me. You really are an Aries…”

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/3d6bcb72e952d0d706fad65bdeda5c827ab0ec3c/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f48446d424b6970672d52653049673d3d2d313336393839363835342e313737386433333639636532633031373436313831363837353630312e706e67)

end.

(56) Back to Normal

THE 2ND SEMESTER STARTED,  and everyone went back to their regular lives as if it changed in the first place. Vicki and I share our days together like we’re some kind of old married couple. Since we’re both English Majors, all our subjects are the same, while Justin and Arthur are forced to join the students in their respective majors, which had been a little difficult because Art is an extreme introvert while Justin is too much of a fuck boy.

Another thing is I ended up joining the IE (Institute of Education) Student Council through pure coincidence. Jesse, the council secretary, was visiting classrooms and asking the freshman students to join as trainees for the council. I didn’t really want to involve myself in politics, but Jesse saw me during her visit to our class and signed me up against my will.

Now I’m in a meeting with the council members, having an imposter syndrome because I feel like I don’t look like a student leader like the others are.

“Thanks, everyone, and see you at our next meeting,” one of the members stated, instantly making everyone stand from their seats to leave the room.

While I was putting my things inside my bag, two other trainees standing beside me started talking about a particular student who I had not heard of in quite some time now.

“Have you seen President Aries’s post last night? He’s so lucky to be having his internship in a different country. That’s such a great experience,” one of the girls said, instantly making me eavesdrop on them.

“Hey, it’s ex-president now.”

“I know, but he’s still a student here, right? I heard he’s attending his other classes online. Maybe I should do that too when I become a senior,” the girl explained.

“But I can’t believe he’s gay,” the guy she was talking with suddenly opened up, making me stop myself from putting my things inside my bag. “Everyone went crazy over that post he made. It was such shocking news that people were basically checking everyone’s hands to see if but matched with the photo.”

“Do you think he went to the States to hide? I guess if it were me, I’d run away too, considering how others expected something different from me. I don’t want to disappoint them, after all,” The female trainee then shared, immediately making me slam my backpack on the table, startling both of them.

“Sorry, my books are kinda heavy,” I lied before zipping my bag shut.

When the two of them realized that I was actually with them, the girl walked towards me and suddenly asked, “Oh yeah, Adlawan, you’re Aries’s senior partner, right? Have you always known that he had a boyfriend?”

“Ex-senior partner,” the other guy corrected again. I almost lashed out at them and told them that this wasn’t any of their business, but I ended up just smiling at them and shaking my head in reply.

“I heard you were offered to choose another senior partner, but you refused. Is that true?” The girl then asked me next, but instead of answering, I just wore my backpack and continued to smile at them. Now I know why Aries likes to smile a lot in front of other people. It’s way easier than arguing.

“I’ll see you at our next meeting,” I told them instead before heading out of the room before anyone could even say anything to me.

When I went out, I saw my friends Vicki, Justin, and Art waiting for me outside. The moment I saw them, the fake smile on my face instantly changed into a genuine one.

“There’s our student achiever!” Vicki shouted, running to me and draping her arm around my shoulder. “How’s the meeting? Is my proposal to allow cats inside the campus approved yet?” She then asked, making me chuckle.

“I opened it up to President Mark, and he told me he’ll talk to the higher-ups about it. But no promises,” I explained to her, and Vicki started rejoicing like she had won the lotto.

“Anyway, the council elections are next week. Who are you guys gonna vote for president?” I asked while walking down the hallway with them.

“I might vote for the History Major, Khian. He looks promising, and he’s very handsome too. That’s an extra point,” Vicki answered.

“Seriously? What are you judging, a pageant?” Justin then asked, and Vicki reached out to pinch his arm, making the two of them argue again.

But after pushing Vicki away from him, Justin looked back at us and then said, “But I can’t believe the seniors will be graduating in two weeks, and then we’re gonna be second years now. Time really flies fast.”

“It does,” I answered, and the three of them looked at me, the atmosphere suddenly feeling awkward. I could tell that they wanted to open up about Aries but were being considerate for my sake. Even Justin, who has been ignorant about my relationship with Aries in the past, was finally able to connect the dots when he saw Aries’s post. Justin seems to be an idiot at times who don’t really care about his friends, but when this bastard saw the hand on Aries’s photo, he knew in an instant it was mine.

“A-Anyway, where should we eat?” Vicki quickly asked, immediately changing the subject.

While Justin and Vicki started fighting over where to eat—as usual—Art and I walked behind them without saying anything to each other. Ever since Aries came out to his parents, Art has been a little distant from me, probably because he was ashamed about what his father did, like what Aries felt after the confrontation.

I never really opened it up again because I felt it was unnecessary, and Art never talked about it either, so we just pretended like it never happened. To be honest, we’re both just feeling awkward about it. Anyone in that situation would have felt weird, especially if their father had just decided to slap their friend like that.

Another thing that we never talked about anymore was Aries. When Aries went to the States for his internship, Art never once mentioned anything about him, which I appreciate a lot. Since Aries and I decided to take a break, we haven’t spoken yet, and that was already three months ago.

“How’s the council meeting?” Art suddenly asked, startling me.

“Oh, it was great. I mean, it’s just a meeting, you know? Nothing special,” I awkwardly answered, and Art nodded his head to agree to it.

Vicki must have noticed that the two of us were trying to start a conversation, so as the good friend that she is, she grabbed Justin’s hand and pulled him away, purposely walking faster so Art and I could freely talk to each other.

“How’s your…you know, brothers?” I casually asked, and a smile instantly appeared on Art’s face, almost like he had been expecting me to ask him that question.

“Albie started going to school, and Apo’s still busy with the company,” he answered, purposely leaving out Aries to tease me because when he saw me waiting for him to say more, Art started laughing. And the invisible barrier we built finally crumbled down.

It’s been a while since I’ve talked to Art alone like this.

“You know, you should finally call him,” he said to me.

“We’re on a break.”

“Well, you didn’t break…up, didn’t you? It’s not like you’re on bad terms with each other.”

“I’d rather wait for him until he’s ready.”

“Such a martyr,” Art then teased, making me chuckle. “But if it can make you feel any better, Aries always asks about you when he calls. He demands me not to tell you, but, you know…we’re friends, and he’s my brother. It’s my duty to betray him like this,” Art revealed, and I immediately looked away so I could try to hide the obvious smile on my stupid face.

“Of course he’d ask. He’s obsessed with me,” I jokingly answered, making Art nudge my side in annoyance.

The two of us laughed and finally caught up with Justin and Vicki. Despite the things that have been said and done in the past, I’m glad everything worked out fine in the end. Somehow. 

Aries is working on his future while I manage to get by and work on my studies. It might sound cold to some, but this break was important for both of us. Having to be apart from each other gave us a clearer answer about what we want from each other and for our future.

It also made me realize how much I love him. And when the time comes when I can finally see him again, I’ll definitely tell him these sincere feelings.

…

“Mr. Sunday! Table 9!” Anna, our receptionist, shouted while I carried a bucket of beer.

“Wait a second!” I shouted back, placing the bucket on a different table before rushing to Table 9. As soon as I saw the regulars, I immediately smiled and sat beside them to entertain them.

“Looking well, gentlemen. How can I serve you tonight?”

Besides my college life doing well, my work life is also doing amazing. I’ve earned enough to buy myself a motorcycle, and I have already helped fix our roof back at home. Of course, there are days when I earn basically nothing, and there are still customers that are assholes, but life is still good, so there is nothing for me to complain about.

To top it all off, Mama has fully recovered. She also went back to doing what she loves, and that’s teaching. I also help out with the house bills now, so Mama doesn’t have to work so hard anymore.

“Have you used the watch I bought you last week?” The customer asked while I poured him a drink.

“Of course I did. I wear it all the time. But not right now, though. Don’t want the other customers to feel jealous,” I answered, and the customers at my table laughed.

While I continued entertaining them, another group of customers arrived at the bar. This time, it was Dr. Chua and his friends, better known as the first customer who billed me out, Sed.

“Sunday!” Sed shouted, running to my table to greet me.

“Dr. Chua! You’re not gonna steal Sunday from us again, are you?” The customer I’m currently with complained, and Sed just laughed.

This is also the other thing I love about this bar. Apart from the bastards who come here from time to time, the regulars and the employees are like family. We get acquainted with each other even though we don’t really know anything about each other when we step out of this building. It’s like a beautiful rainbow community.

“I’m not gonna steal him. Just give me a couple of seconds with him,” Sed insisted before grabbing my arm and pulling me away from the table. After taking a seat on the sofa, Sed moved close to me and immediately shared, “You’re not gonna believe this but…I have a boyfriend now!”

“Wait, seriously?” I ask in shock.

“Yes. And this time, he’s not married,” Sed excitedly explained, making me laugh. “He’s a nurse in the hospital I’m in. He’s cute too, and he’s super sweet. He’s also great in bed. I’ve never felt so alive before.”

“Too much info Sed,” I then told him, and Sed just brushed it off before looking back at me with a smile that was honestly the very reason why I agreed to get billed out by him in the past. Sed was and is a nice guy. He’s someone you can easily call a friend, so I’m glad to have stumbled on him when I did.

“I actually came because I have one last gift to give you,” Sed then said, instantly making me furrow my brows in confusion.

“What are you talking about? You’re leaving?”

“My boyfriend isn’t a huge fan of me going to gay bars almost every weekend, so I might lessen my visit,” Sed explained, and all I could do was nod my head in understanding. I’m gonna miss this guy, but I’m glad that he’s happy.

“Here.” Sed pulled something out of his pocket and handed it over to me. I wasn’t expecting much, but to my surprise, it was a small box that contained a silver and a gold bracelet.

“This looks—”

“The gold one is for you, and the silver one…well, it’s for the boyfie,” Sed stated, surprising me even more. “It’s my thanks for always listening to my rants whenever I visit this bar. And it’s also my thanks for helping me out with my relationship problem in the past. I’m really thankful for you both, and I hope you live and love happily together.”

“Oh, Sed, this means a lot. I’ll accept this well. Thank you,” I said to him, and Sed smiled and reached out to give me a tight hug.

“I guess that’s it. I’ll go table Jack now. If you’re done with yours, feel free to join us,” Sed then invited as he leaned close to give me a quick kiss on the cheek before squeezing my shoulder and joining his friends.

I looked at the bracelets before looking back at Sed, reaching out to my cheek and smiling at his warmth.

“ To my first kind customer…thanks. “

After a busy night of drinking and dancing, I changed my clothes and got ready to leave. Going home alone still feels strange since Aries used to wait for me outside and drive me home. There’s no denying that I miss him, but I just have to get used to it until he comes back.

Whenever that might be.

“And here’s yours. Good job today, Dom,” Madam Scarlet—who was once again only wearing a wig cap and lingerie—said as she handed me my paycheck.

“Thank you!” I happily said as I hid the money inside my bag.

“You can finally check out that helmet you’ve had in your cart for ages,” Jack teased while drinking the hot water that Gin had served him earlier.

“Well, if I had a sugar daddy like you, then I would have checked out all the items in my cart by now,” I replied, and Jack just rolled his eyes.

“Haters gonna hate,” he then said, and Madam Scarlet hit his head with his paycheck.

“You’ve been flaunting that boyfriend of yours since you got him. If he’s so rich, tell him to invest in the bar. Inflation is killing me, and the prices of alcohol have been crazy,” Madam Scarlet then said.

“He’s my sugar daddy, not yours. I’m the only one he can spoil,” Jack shamelessly explained, making Madam Scarlet hit him again with the envelope she was holding.

“This bar is what’s paying for your waxing sessions and your steroids, so a little help is appreciated,” Madam Scarlet fired back, and Jack didn’t say anything anymore while we all laughed at the unexpected reveal.

After handing the other employees their paycheck for the month, Madam Scarlet turned to the man sitting at the far back of the bar—Iñigo. Iñigo has been quiet ever since our confrontation with him. We never really talked after that, but I feel like we’re civil with each other now, which is great.

“Iñigo, are you gonna wait for me to stand here and personally hand you your paycheck, or are you gonna stand there and take it yourself?” Madam Scarlet asked, and Iñigo, who was smoking while checking his phone, sighed and placed his cigarette on the ashtray before standing and walking towards us.

As soon as he stood in front of Madam Scarlet, our boss handed him his pay and said, “Heard you’re heading to Japan next week. How long is that gonna be again?”

Wait, really? He’s leaving?

“Probably for good. Who knows?” Iñigo answered, surprising us. Everyone became quiet and awkward, but Iñigo sighed and decided to lighten up the mood. “It’s way too obvious that you guys are gonna miss me. Don’t worry. I’ll send chocolates and perfumes every month.”

The employees cheered, and Iñigo smiled and thanked Madam Scarlet and Gin before walking out of the bar. While everyone was wrapping things up, I looked back at Iñigo and decided to follow him out.

“Hey,” I called.

Iñigo stopped and turned to me, his hands in his pocket while his expression remained neutral.

“You’re leaving?” I asked, and Iñigo grinned and answered, “Yeah. There’s no more competition for you now.”

“Well, there was never really a competition, if I’m being honest,” I answered, and this time, Iñigo laughed.

“How’s Aries?” He then asked.

“I think he’s doing okay.”

“You think? You’re not sure?”

“Let’s not go there,” I said, making Iñigo laugh again.

“I know. I’m just teasing,” he then said before taking a step closer and looking down at me. Iñigo always looked down on me because he was taller, but this time, for some reason, it felt like he wasn’t looking down on me because he felt that he was better than me. It felt like we were now on equal grounds with each other.

“I hate to admit it, but you’ll always be a better man than I will ever be. Maybe that’s the reason why you keep winning,” Iñigo suddenly said, catching me off guard because it was never on my bucket list to hear him compliment me like that.

“I told you, there was never a competition. There was nothing for me to win or lose. Neither did you,” I replied, and Iñigo smiled and nodded his head to agree to it.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you around, Domingo Adlawan.”

Iñigo turned away and waved goodbye, and that was probably the last time I was ever gonna see him again. He was an asshole and someone I might never really like as a person, but he was still something else. I’ll never forget him even if I tried.

“There goes another one,” I said as I looked up at the sky, but it was too cloudy for me to even catch a glimpse of the moon.

As Justin said, time really does fly fast.

Everything went back to how it was supposed to be before I got together with Aries.

Everything is going back to normal.

But why does it feel like this?

Why does normal feel so empty?

end.

(57) First Love Never Dies

THE DAY I HAVE been waiting for finally came. The class of 2023-2024 is graduating. After a year of grinding and sleepless nights, their hard work finally paid off. They get to walk on stage, get that diploma, and start a life that is beyond the four corners of a classroom.

Of course, I’m not the one graduating. The seniors are. But I’m moving up and becoming a second-year college student, which still feels strange because it felt like yesterday when I was waking up early to start my first day in school. Yet here I am now, ending a year that made me realize a lot of things about myself, my life, and my future.

Now you might be wondering, what on earth am I doing here when I’m not even graduating myself? Well, the reason for that is because someone I have been eager to see finally came back from the States last night. I haven’t seen him yet, but the way my heart was pounding just confirmed that I was as nervous as I was when I first realized that I was in love with someone I thought I could never have.

“Dom!” Someone calls out while I grip the bouquet of sunflowers in my hand.

I turn around and find Diane Montecastro walking toward me, wearing her graduation toga and cap. She smiles in my direction, and then I open my arms wide to give her a hug.

“Congratulations, Diane,” I tell her.

After pulling away from the hug, Diane looks at my face and says, “I’d like to be delusional and think that those flowers are for me, but I’m sure you’re giving it to someone else.”

“I saw a bunch of guys handing you flowers earlier. I think you’ll be fine,” I tell her, and Diane rolls her eyes before smiling at me again.

“So he’s back?” Diane then asks, referring to the person I’m going to give these flowers to.

“I heard he is. Art texted me and told me that he was heading here with his parents. I don’t know where exactly he is yet, though,” I explain, making Diane chuckle.

“Then message him back and ask him yourself. I’m sure he’s been waiting too.”

“Nah. It’s better if I see him personally instead,” I simply answer, and Diane just shrugs her shoulder, no longer pushing me to contact Aries first so I wouldn’t have to wait for him like this. “Anyway, I can’t believe the queen of Tourism is going to leave her beloved department. You’re going to break a lot of hearts once you leave.”

“They’ll survive,” Diane jokingly answers, making both of us laugh. Afterward, Diane reaches out to squeeze my shoulder. She had this look on her face that made me smile warmly at her. I never thought that I’d ever be close to someone like Diane, let alone Aries’s ex-girlfriend. But I guess our paths crossing was meant to be.

Diane is the perfect example of someone who just wants to be in love, but things don’t always work out. And despite how beautiful or desirable others might think you are, no one is immune to heartbreaks. I know she wouldn’t want this, but for her sake, I’ll protect the love she decided to let go of and make sure her heartbreak wasn’t in vain.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad I had the honor of meeting you, Domingo Adlawan. Thank you for everything,” she says, and I reach out to give her one last embrace. After the hug, I pull away from her and pat her shoulder. I can tell that Diane is moments away from crying, but she sucks it in and composes herself. 

This is Diane Montecastro we’re talking about. Parting ways with your ex’s new boyfriend shouldn’t be your reason to cry.

“Don’t be a stranger, okay?” She then asks before finally running back to her classmates.

I can’t help but feel a little sad that a friend of mine is moving to a new chapter in her life, but at the same time, I can’t help but feel proud. It’s just strange to realize that time really moves fast, and things change even when we don’t want them to change.

“Domingo!” Another senior shouted, running behind me and draping her hands around my shoulder like she always does. I turn my head and find Jessica Santiago, better known as Jesse, the IE council ex-secretary who is also the first senior I met on my first day in LU. Standing behind her is none other than Mark Benedict Ramos, the council’s ex-vice president, who I heard is the Math Major’s Cum Laude.

See, even his friends are academically successful. Birds with the same feathers flock together, I guess.

“I’m passing the baton to you now, Domingo. Don’t let the council down,” Jesse dramatically says as she moves her arm away from me. “After three years, you have to become the new President. And you know me, I don’t settle for less, so do your best.”

“Why are you so insistent that I become president?” I finally ask, and Jesse grins before shrugging her shoulder.

“Anyway, I know who those flowers are for. He actually just arrived a few minutes ago. He’s at the council office right now. You won’t miss him,” Jesse then says, making my eyes widen in complete shock.

“He’s already here?” I ask, and Mark nods his head to confirm it.

“Then I’ll head out first. As for your two, congratulations on graduating,” I say, waving goodbye as I run to the council office as if my life depended on it.

As soon as I got to the office, my heart started beating close to my ear, making me release a heavy sigh so I wouldn’t have to feel so tense. I stop just meters away from the door as I collect myself. Afterward, I fixed my hair and looked at the flowers again, making sure everything was perfect.

But as I take another step, a man suddenly walks by me, his face instantly making me stop at my heel in complete shock. He ignores me and heads straight to the council office. And as soon as the door closes, my jaw drops. There was no doubting it…that was Blaine de la Cruz. I can never forget such a handsome face when I see one.

“ H-He’s back too? “ I worriedly ask before running to the door.

I know that it’s indecent, but I can’t help but peek at the small glass window on the door and eavesdrop. When I saw the inside of the room, I instantly spotted Aries holding his cap and toga. He was facing the other way, but I could instantly tell that it was him.

Even though I was only looking at his back, my heart couldn’t help but burst. How I missed this man so much. I’ll do everything to see his face again.

“B-Blaine?!” I hear Aries say in shock, instantly making me move away from the window and leaning against the wall as I listen to their conversation.

“I arrived the other day. Do you think I’m gonna miss your graduation? You’re my number 22, after all,” Blaine says, unconsciously making me touch the necklace that I’m wearing.

“Aren’t you at least gonna say anything?” He then asks.

“No…I’m…I’m just shocked. I haven’t seen you since your wedding. I…I can’t believe you’re here. I really missed you, Blaine. Thanks for coming,” Aries says, and the way he said he missed him made me give out a sad smile. I really hoped I could have heard him say those words to me first, but I guess when it comes to Blaine, I’ll give him that chance.

That man is Blaine de la Cruz, Aries’s first love and the guy who helped Aries become the person he is today. I know I haven’t formally met him yet, but I hope I get to thank him. It might sound pretentious, but I’m glad he was Aries’s senior partner.

“Are you with your wife?” Aries then asks.

“No, she’s back in the US with our son. I’m only here for a few days too, so we should head somewhere together and catch up. There’s so much I want to tell you,” Blaine says, and without even looking, I can already see the smile on Aries’s face. He must be happy to see him.

“Sure, let’s catch up,” Aries answers.

“You know, I’m still mad that you didn’t even tell me you took your internship in the States. We could have met up together there and made new memories.”

“I didn’t want to be a bother.”

“You? A bother? There’s no way. We’re Aries and Blaine. We’re like a tandem.”

“Looks like you’re still so corny. You never change, but I’m glad.”

“But you seem to have changed, haven’t you?” Blaine then asks, and the room becomes quiet all of a sudden. I can’t help but peek at the small window again, and to my dismay, I find Blaine patting Aries’s head. I still can’t see Aries’s face, which I think is a good thing because I won’t be able to know how he’s reacting to such a gesture.

“Aries Buan, IE council’s president and Science Major’s Summa Cum Laude. It seems like you’ve surpassed me before I can even realize it. As your senior partner, the word ‘proud’ is an understatement. Thank you for working hard, Aries. I feel like my duty as your senior has finally ended here,” Blaine says as I continue to touch the pendant of my necklace.

But as Blaine continues to pat Aries’s head, Aries suddenly moves away from him, the action surprising Blaine more than I did.

“You’re wrong, Blaine. Your duty as my senior partner already ended…when you handed me your blue ribbon back. And our paths stopped crossing since then,” Aries truthfully reveals.

I thought Blaine would find that offensive, but instead, he sighed before smiling and nodding his head in agreement. “I know,” he says to him. “Our story already came to a conclusion, and I ended it myself, which I don’t really regret even though it may sound cruel.”

“Well, you’ve known that I liked you for a long time. I understand if you found it weird and decided to cut your ties with me,” Aries reveals, but Blaine instantly looks panicked, obviously flustered that that’s how Aries saw his intentions.

“No, that’s not it,” Blaine defends. “I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to take your opportunity to properly come out. I had no right to expose you, so I let you be. But at the wedding, as heartless as it was, I really… really …wanted you to be there. You’re important to me, Aries. And I genuinely wanted you to be happy, and I still do.”

“I know, Blaine. I know.”

“But I guess if there was something to regret…no…not really regret, but a thought I always kept replying in my head. I guess it’s the fact that if you actually told me your feelings back then…I might have wanted to be with you too,” Blaine reveals, immediately making me look away from them again in complete shock.

At this point, I should leave and make a run for it. I should just let them have their privacy and forever wonder what Aries said in reply. But my feet wouldn’t move. My body wouldn’t let me escape whatever it was that Aries was about to say.

“That would have changed everything,” Aries finally says. “But…” He then paused, and the silence made me swallow the lump in my throat in anticipation. After a couple of seconds, I can hear Aries moving closer to Blaine as he answers, “But that means nothing to me now. There’s someone I am madly in love with. And I think even if you came at me right now, I would have pushed you away with no hesitation. That is how much I am in love with that man.”

“I see. The one in the picture you posted?”

“That’s right. Domingo M. Adlawan…that’s his name. And I think my love for him surpassed yours too. I guess we’re even now, right? My number 22?”

As soon as I heard what Aries had to say, my feet finally moved, and I started running away from the office like I just committed a crime.

My chest was beating fast, and my cheeks were burning. 

What is this?

I feel so fucking happy.

I can’t believe he actually said my full name in front of his senior. I don’t know if I should feel proud or embarrassed. But I’m glad Aries got to meet Blaine again, even though I will never know what Aries felt for him during the years they were together. But looking back at them, I can tell that Aries truly loves him. It’s the type of love that I’ll never be able to give him, and that’s okay.

I guess the saying “ First love never dies “ is actually true.

Aries will always love Blaine because he’s his first love.

I also strongly believe in this because Aries is my first love too.

And my love for him…will surely never die.

…

The graduation ceremony finally ended, and I got too nervous about facing Aries that I ended up waiting outside the auditorium, still holding the flowers that weren’t as vibrant anymore.

The event took five long hours, and when the graduate started heading out of the auditorium, I panicked and ran away, missing the perfect opportunity to finally meet Aries face to face. There’s also the fact that Aries was with his parents, so I didn’t want to walk my way toward them and give Aries the flowers. His father would have definitely grabbed it from my hand and hit me with it.

But now that I think about it, Aries and his father might have settled things regarding his sexuality. The fact that he came to his graduation means a lot. But then again, it might just be because he wants to save face and boast about his son’s achievement. Either way, it was a good decision not to approach Aries at that time. I don’t want to ruin their family moment.

“But what should I do now? It’s already dark, and I wasn’t even able to meet him,” I complain to myself as I walk around the almost empty campus.

I look up at the sky, the moon now visible compared to last time. When I saw that it was in its waxing gibbous phase, I couldn’t help but smile. This was the same phase that Aries and I first saw together.

“Maybe I should just wait for him to call me,” I say in defeat as I continue walking alone.

I decide to just throw the flowers away because I don’t want to look pathetic. At first glance, people might think I’ve been rejected, and I don’t want unnecessary pity to fall on me. But as I search for a trash bin, I realize that I have arrived at a familiar location. 

It’s the large water fountain in the middle of the campus.

Since it was already late, the lights made it even prettier to look at. I remember making a wish here before, but I don’t even remember what it was anymore. While looking at the large fountain, I decide to make a wish again for old times’ sake. But as I reach out for my pocket to look for a coin I can throw, the water and the lights from the fountain suddenly turn off, just like what happened last time.

I got ready to complain again and blame the universe for my misfortune, but as soon as the water disappeared in front of me, a figure suddenly welcomed me at the other side of the fountain. The moment I saw his face, everything just stopped, and the world as we know it became completely silent and still.

“There you are,” he says. “Do you know how long I’ve been looking for you?”

“ You’re here… “ I whisper under my breath as Aries Buan stares back at me, his presence making every fiber of my being feel alive.

Aries smiles and starts walking in my direction, my heart beating even faster as he gets closer. When he finally stops in front of me, he removes his graduate cap and places it on top of my head before chuckling at himself.

“I didn’t see you at the auditorium. I thought you wouldn’t come,” he says, and I swallow the lump in my throat before handing him the bouquet of sunflowers that I was supposed to throw away just moments ago.

“For me?” He asks as he looks at the bouquet with that smile I missed so much. “Sunflowers. Thank you. They’re beautiful.”

Aries continues to admire the flowers. But while he looks at them, he says, “This is the time where you say something, Dom. Aren’t you at least going to let me hear your voice?” He then asks. And as soon as he lifts his head back to look at me, I realize that his eyes are already filled with tears.

“You missed me too, right? You waited for me, too, right? Say something, Dom,” He desperately asks with a tone of worry and fear. But before he can even ask me another question, I finally grab him and pull him close, embracing him as I try to remember his warmth and his presence that I have always felt despite our distance.

“Oh baby, I’m sorry. I waited and waited, and here you are now. You can’t blame me for being so speechless,” I say, hugging him even tighter before looking back at him so I can wipe his tears away like I have always done in the past. “We just saw each other again, yet I already made you cry.”

“Whose fault is it?

“Congratulations on graduating, Aries. I’m proud of you,” I answer instead, and Aries bites his lower lip before hugging me again, his familiar scent calming me, letting me know that this was real.

“I fucking hate you. Why didn’t you watch the ceremony?”

“Well, only two guests for each graduate are allowed inside, so I can’t really—”

“Then you should have snuck in!” He complains before hitting my shoulder, and the way he does this instantly makes me chuckle because this is how Aries really is when we’re together. I really did miss him, even his stubbornness and his hot temper.

“But I did wait outside for hours. I should at least get some credit for that,” I say, and Aries finally pulls away, pouting and wiping his tears before reaching out and touching my face. He stares at me for a while, but then his cheeks and his ears start to turn red.

“We were only apart for five months, yet you’ve gotten bigger and a lot more handsome. Good thing I told Jesse to let you join the student council so she can keep a close eye on you. That way, you’d be too busy to go to parties and meet other people,” Aries then reveals, surprising me.

“W-wait, you told Jesse to sign me up in the council? That was because of you?” I ask in shock. 

Aries realizes what he has said, so he immediately pulls away from me and tries to escape. I grinned and chased after him, grabbing his arm and pulling him close to me again. But as soon as our faces met, I wasted no time and finally pressed my lips against his. Aries doesn’t hesitate and kisses me back, wrapping his arms around my neck while our lips taste the familiar flavor.

 Everything around me starts spinning again as our heart beats close to each other. And as we share this passionate moment, the water and the lights from the fountain suddenly turn on again, startling both of us since the water splashed in our direction.

“What?! Did someone turn it on!” Aries shouted in surprise, and the two of us started laughing as we stepped away.

Aries looks back at the fountain to watch the water dance. I then stand beside him and slowly grab his hand. He smiles and intertwines his fingers with mine, and as the two of us stare at the fountain, I feel my eyes water in relief.

So this is what love truly feels like.

Not so loud and not so quiet. Just the right sound.

“You know, Dom, when we were apart, I realized something important that I haven’t really said to you before,” Aries says.

Without looking away from the fountain, I ask, “What is it?”

Aries squeezes my hand and turns his head to look at me, making me turn my head to look at him too. I thought he was gonna say something romantic and serious, but then he playfully grins and reveals, “You really are more handsome than Blaine.”

“Why you little…”

Aries laughs and pulls my hand away before splashing the water from the fountain toward my direction. I did the same, and the two of us chased each other, laughing like kids who had no care in the world.

I don’t know how the universe did it, but here I am now, running toward my future that I wasn’t even able to picture before I started college. Did I do something heroic in my previous life? Why is karma so good to me now? Why did it decide to give me such beautiful love?

Love, a word that was once vague and meaningless.

How much have I changed since the first day my eyes laid upon you? Your dark eyes that once gazed on me in the past. The very eyes that held the universe—the unfamiliarity and the uncertainty that I once wished to explore.

Aries Buan, the moon in my life that made my darkest nights bearable. Will you ever be able to measure the amount of love I have for you in this lifetime?

I don’t know. Only time can tell.

And if the universe permits it…

As long as I am with you…

You will never have to put in a code and lock yourself again.

That is my promise.

end.

EPILOGUE

M Y  F O R E V E R

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/4ece3ad7a16623d9b11bdf8638b88c9145f6b9a3/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f38344756795141546e5a513546513d3d2d313337323931383834372e313737616639643636373938323864623437393034303439363938322e6a7067)

MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE OF the weather that day, or maybe because it was my first day as a public school teacher, but I clearly remember how I was sweating all over, my chest tight as if I was minutes away from fainting.

I had just graduated from college a couple of months ago and passed the licensure exam as a top notcher. They say you experienced a lot during those years, and fortunately for me, they were right. I met a group of people I can confidently call my friends. I was able to join the council and became a huge help to my classmates and everyone else in my department. And what I thought would be a quiet four years experience became a fun and memorable one instead, probably way too fun for my own good.

Long story short, I felt like I belonged.

But the image I built for myself became too much for me to bare. Most of the time, I pretended like I cared about things that didn’t even interest me just so I could get along with everyone. I smiled and nodded my head to everything, and I became what everyone called a people pleaser.

Well, until I met Domingo M. Adlawan, a handsome extrovert and overly confident freshman who wasn’t afraid to speak his mind and face every problem that got in his way.

I met him during their freshmen orientation by complete chance. He arrived late, and since we’re members of the council, we were tasked to wait outside to hand everyone their ribbons.

The program had already started, and while I was checking the attendance sheet, I saw Jesse talking to this freshman who happened to be Domingo, or what he refers to himself, Dom.

Dom wasn’t even wearing his uniform at that time, which I assume was because he wasn’t able to buy one yet. He looked nervous too, but also excited. I approached him with no other thought in mind besides giving him his ribbon so he could join the others. After that, I carried on with my duties as president.

After the orientation, all the seniors present in the event got ready for the activity that would determine their freshman partner for the entire school year. Since I was a council president, I was only required to handle one student. I wasn’t really expecting much at that time. I was excited to help my partner out, of course, but I didn’t really care who it would be.

Well, I didn’t care…before I found out that the student I got partnered with was the handsome and charismatic Domingo.

He was my new number 22. And I swore to myself that I would be the best partner he’ll ever have and be a reliable friend he could run to if ever he was in need, just like how my previous partner was with me.

Of course, I was still cautious. I was used to handsome guys like him. He was tall, friendly, and an obvious favorite among his female classmates. I knew his type like the back of my head. But as always, I didn’t think much of it.

Which was an obvious mistake.

He was only supposed to be my freshman partner, but this man…this charming man…wouldn’t stop gazing in my direction. He stared at me like he wanted something from me. He acted like I wouldn’t be able to notice, but I could tell him looking from a mile away. There was no way I wouldn’t know.

He looked at me, and I felt embarrassed and nervous and scared. What did those curious eyes mean? Was he on to me? Was he trying to decode me? I haven’t done anything strange yet. I’ve been the perfect senior, so why? Why was he looking at me like that?

Those questions filled my head for a while. But after one sentence…after his mouth uttered these truthful words…I understood in an instant.

“ I’m gay ,“ he blurted out during the freshman gathering. And that honesty and bravery felt like a bullet that shot straight into my chest.

I felt pathetic and jealous of his honesty. He was gay…just like me, and I hated how he could just share that with the world while I was there hiding like a wanted criminal.

After that, I became mean to him—if mean was even the right word for it. I wanted him to stay away from me as much as possible. He was trouble. I didn’t want him to stand too close, close enough for him to unlock the codes I had set myself.

But this man…

Domingo M. Adlawan…

He was persistent.

Despite everything I’d done to push him away, he came running to me at full speed, not caring what I’d think or say, not caring what the world would say, and not caring how this would all go down in the end.

He was like a train that didn’t know how to stop until it reached its destination. He wanted me. He made it clear, and his desire fueled the fire inside me that I thought had already distinguished.

“ I’ll have it all, just like what you said. I’ll have that scholarship, I’ll help Mama have a better life…and I’ll have the boy that I stupidly like to take me seriously and admit that he likes me too. So watch over me carefully, Aries Buan. The universe may be vast, but our stars aligned for a reason. And I will have everything by the time this is over. I swear it to the moon and back. “

His boldness and straightforwardness were a breath of fresh air. He was honest, and I could see in his eyes that he was purposely revealing himself to me. He stood there, naked and unafraid. He worked hard for his dreams and his ambitions, and the jealousy I felt for him became admiration.

But this admiration didn’t last long. I wanted more than admiration. I wanted his attention and his gaze to only lock itself on me. I was starting to become selfish over a person that wasn’t even mine.

Was this love? Or was this an obsession with wanting to be loved?

I was constantly divided by these thoughts. I didn’t want to disappoint Dom by giving him less than what he deserved. He deserved more. He deserved more than just…me.

I was honestly willing to let this relationship go. This wasn’t doing me any good. We’re only gonna hurt each other, like every other guy who I attempted to date. I was supposed to cut everything off, but then…a stupid video was posted.

“ Dom, some professor in this university knows my dad in church. W-what if…what if they mention it to him? What if they showed him the video, and my father found out? I can’t do this, Dom. I just can’t .“

“ He won’t find out,“ he replied, even though I could tell that he was uncertain

himself . “But if he did, I’ll be here. What do you want me to do, Aries? Tell me, and I’ll do it .”

Was it during that time? Or was it way before that? Was it the time he first held me and I ran away, yet he came back, unlike the other guys I ditched? Or was it during the time he would hold me and I felt safe? Is it his eyes? His smile? His undying love for his mother? His determination? His kisses? His gaze? His gentle touch?

When was it?

When was I struck by Cupid? When did I become madly and deeply in love with this man named Domingo M. Adlawan?

Why did I confess my love to him like it was the only way to make him stay? Why did I hold him like I was afraid he’d leave? Why did I throw away an internship just so I won’t be apart from him? Why did I come out to my family after hiding in the closet my entire life?

How did I not notice that he had been filling my empty shell with his love that I ended up thirsting for more like a man stuck in a desert?

Why was I not aware that I had completely fallen in love with him before I could even stop myself?

“Thank you, everyone, and see you all tomorrow,” I told my high school students, and everyone started packing their bags and running out of the classroom to meet their friends outside.

“Thank you, Sir Buan. See you tomorrow!” One of the students said before heading out, making me smile.

“Alright. Head home safely!”

I started packing my things so I could catch my classes at Librada University. As soon as I got hired in this school, I decided to take up my master’s at LU, which was totally because of its academic credentials and not because someone I like is still studying there.

After shoving all my books inside my bag and adjusting the bracelet that Sed gave us two years ago, I headed to the parking lot and drove off in a hurry.

It’s been two years since I started working as a Science teacher. Teaching in a public school wasn’t really my first choice, if I’m being honest since I was offered to work at bigger schools as soon as I topped the licensure exams. But in the end, I decided to teach here because I was heavily influenced by Mama. Obviously, both my parents wanted me to work abroad, but I refused and told them I’d be able to learn more in my current workplace, which my mom eventually agreed to, and dad…well, dad never really agreed with me, but what we do agree in is to never disagree with mom.

I also decided to get along with him since I still live with them at home. My goal is to earn enough, and having to still live with my parents is such a huge help. Also, I get to be with my brothers, Albie and Art, which is really one of the main reasons why I’m still there.

Dad still doesn’t acknowledge the fact that I’m gay. Most of the time, he ignores it and pretends that my coming-out story never happened. I guess for now, it’s fine. At least he’s not forcing me to do boxing like Dom’s dad did to him in the past.

No offense though, Mr. Adlawan. May you rest in peace.

Anyway, after six months of working, I decided to enroll in LU to get my master’s degree. I’m currently working on my thesis now, and I might be able to graduate by December.

As complicated as it was, life has been pretty good.

“Alright, freshies! Let’s head to the pavilion!”

When I arrived at the campus, I was welcomed by a bunch of booths and students who were looking for the perfect organization to join. Today was actually their first day of classes, so everyone was trying to impress the freshmen students so they could recruit them. I know because we did the exact same thing in the past.

“Oh yeah. Today’s the Freshman Orientation too,” I said as I walked my way to the auditorium to quickly check it out.

None of the seniors were waiting outside, so I peeked at the auditorium to see what was going on. As expected, all the students were standing from their seats, looking for their designated partners.

Looks like the orientation is over.

“Who has number 43?!” One of the seniors shouted, making me chuckle. Seeing them searching for their partners felt so nostalgic. I was both a freshman and a senior, and both years had a huge impact on my life, which I hope the other students will experience too.

“Aries?” A voice suddenly called out.

I quickly turned around and saw Vicki and Justin walking towards me, holding a bunch of red ribbons. Vicki and Justin are friends with both Dom and Art. I heard they help out in the council since Dom got elected as president, but unlike my friends Jesse and Mark, they didn’t decide to run for any position.

“You’re here!” Vicki excitedly said as she dragged Justin to approach me. “Are you looking for Dom? He’s inside with Art searching for their freshmen partners. If you want, we can call him.”

“N-No, it’s fine. I was only looking around. I still have my graduate class later, so I’ll head off eventually,” I answered before noticing the ribbons that they were holding. “There’s still a couple of ribbons left?”

“Yeah, it seems like not a lot of education students enrolled this year compared to our batch, so there are a few ribbons left. I think there are around eight more. But I guess it’s fine since there will be eight lucky seniors who won’t have to be partnered with anyone,” Justin answered, making Vicki hit him.

“Wanna take one? Just for a souvenir,” Vicki then offered.

I looked at the ribbons and smiled, reminding myself of my freshman year. I didn’t really want to take one, but after hesitating for a while, I took a ribbon just for the fun of it.

“Well, we’re heading inside first, Aries. We still need to find our own partners. We’ll tell Dom we saw you,” Justin then stated, and I nodded my head as the two of them went inside the auditorium.

I looked back at the seniors and the freshmen students again before turning around to take my leave. But while I was walking away, I looked down at the ribbon that I was holding to check the number. I didn’t think much of it, but as soon as I saw what was written, I immediately stopped.

“T-Twenty…two?” I asked in disbelief. And as I continued to stare at the ribbon, I suddenly heard someone from inside the auditorium shouting, “Twenty-two! Who has number twenty- two?!”

I quickly turned around, and then my feet started moving on their own before I could even stop them. I went inside the auditorium, following the voice that was calling my number, ignoring the others who were looking back at me with confusion. But as I arrived in the middle aisle, I finally found the very person I was looking for.

“Twenty-two!” He shouted again, and I walked towards him and faced him with a shy smile, instantly making him look at me with shock.

“You!” He shouted, and I lifted my right eyebrow up after getting referred to as you, which instantly made him clear his throat to correct himself. “I mean…A-Aries, what are you doing here?”

I stared at him for a while, at Domingo M. Adlawan, and then I wrapped the ribbon around my forehead so he could see the number. As soon as he saw what was written on it, Dom instantly started laughing.

“What is this? How did this happen?” He asked in shock as he took a step closer to me.

“Looks like I’m going to be your partner,” I jokingly told him.

Dom smiled this time, and then he reached out and touched the sun pendant around my neck, making me reach out to touch his moon pendant. “Then I hope you take care of me again, Mr. Aries Buan.”

“I hope you take care of me too…my number 22.”

I don’t really know how it happened, but the universe kept making us meet even when I least expected it. Of course, our story isn’t over yet. Forever is a long time, but I’ll keep on walking forward with Dom right beside me.

And if given a chance, I hope we get to walk down the aisle together too. I just have to find the perfect ring and maybe even invite Blaine to make it even. But before that, I’ll have to unlock myself one by one first so that Dom would never have to get the code of unlocking me again.

fin.

SUN & MOON

August 14, 2023

I can’t believe it’s finally over!

All I can say is, wow, we did it.

The Code of Aries is a book that is so important to me. Other than the fact it’s the first story I have ever written as an official Wattpad Creator, it’s also a story that is closest to my personal life in general.

You guys might already get tired of hearing this, but I was raised by my uncle ( who is gay ), and he became a huge inspiration for Dom’s character. Like Dom, my uncle wasn’t accepted by his father, and he did, in fact, was forced to do boxing so Grandpa could straighten him out. Our uncle also struggled a lot, especially since he was in college and had to do a ton of jobs to simply survive. Grandpa also died when they were young, so Mama ( our grandmother ) was someone he truly loved and took care of. 

My uncle has found his own success, and now he is very vocal about his experiences and shares it as a way to inspire people. That’s why I felt that having him as a reflection of Dom is a beautiful symbolism. And also a great homage.

Another important scene for me here was when Dom didn’t have anything to eat, so he just drank water from the fountain to feel full. This particular scene was also meaningful because this was exactly how I was when I was still studying. I’m not saying I struggled as Dom did, but there were times when I didn’t have enough money to buy lunch, so I would usually lie and tell my friends that I wasn’t hungry or, like Dom did, drink water from the fountain to feel full.

There’s also Madam Scarlet from the Red Light Bar. Madam Scarlet is a character inspired by my family’s closest friend, who is transgender that worked at a club in Japan. And then another close friend who owns a club. The things that happened in the Red Light were mostly inspired by them, as well as the atmosphere of the place and the people.

As for Aries, he was inspired by a few friends I met during my six years in college. Some of them were closeted and were too afraid to express their true selves to others. One, in particular, was forced to hide himself because his father was a police officer. Their stories made me create Aries, and I feel like I wrote him because I’m hoping that one day, my friends will also find this type of closure.

Aries is the person who just wants to fit in and be like everyone else, but hiding can be tiring, and sometimes we need a little Domingo M. Adlawan to give us enough strength to finally feel free. So for my readers, I hope you find your number 22. It doesn’t have to be a partner, but maybe a friend, your family, or maybe even yourself.

One last thing in the story that I purposely did was the setting, which was in the Philippines. I wanted to share with my foreign readers a little bit of my country, especially when you’re in the lower class. I don’t speak for everyone, of course, but this was my truth. 

But like other countries, it’s true that people have to work in the most unconventional places to survive. It’s true that others have wrongfully judged people’s entirety by using religion as a basis for such hate. It’s true that teachers are underpaid and overworked, and as a graduate of Education myself, it is true that they are heavily looked down upon.

I don’t even know how many times I’ve heard the question, “ You’re studying to become a teacher? Why? There’s no money in that job .“ It’s like a broken record, and I can only hope that one day, this profession will be seen as something that is as important as a doctor, a lawyer, or any other job that holds the same importance.

This story wasn’t just about two boys who fell in love. It’s so much more than that, and I hope you guys saw it too. 

Anyway, I want to share my gratitude to all of you who gave this book a chance. I know it’s different and maybe even boring to some, but thank you for letting me write this story for you. I’ll save a few of my thanks at the acknowledgment, but for now, there’s still going to be a few more special chapters . You can read them, or you can end the book here. Either way, thank you for joining me, Dom, and Aries on this journey.

To my suns and moons, this is your author,

N .

SPECIAL (1)

BEFORE WE COULD EVEN get inside Aunt Venus’s condo unit, which Aries has been staying in since he got back from the States, Aries’s lips were already pressed against mine, his graduation cap falling to the ground as I tried to open the door behind us.

“W-Wait, slow down,” I struggled to tell him in between kisses.

“ I missed you so much, Dom, “ Aries whispered under his breath instead, draping his arms around my neck and clinging onto me like I was going to disappear in front of him if he let go of me even for a second.

I managed to grab the keys from his pocket so I could finally unlock the door. As soon as it swung open, I kicked his cap in and pushed ourselves inside before his neighbors could accidentally spot us making out in the hallway. And believe me, as brazen as I am, I’m not that shameless enough to be showing such intense public displays of affection.

“ Dom… “

“ You’re killing me here, Aries… “

Aries and I had only been apart for five months, but I already forgot how sexual he could get. Aries isn’t the type to express his feelings through words, but his actions definitely scream it. We’re the complete opposite when it comes to that aspect, but I guess that’s one reason why we click so much.

“Carry me to bed, Dom. Please,” Aries then demanded while he continued to shower me with his overflowing affection.

I chuckled because of how different he gets when he acts spoiled. But like a good boyfriend, I did what I was told. I grabbed his thighs and carried him while his arms continued to wrap around my neck. I gave him a quick kiss on his lips and finally brought him to his bedroom. 

I was honestly ready to get down and dirty, but what I saw in his room instantly made me step back for a second. He just got back from the States so his suitcase was still on the floor. There were a couple of boxes and unopened packages scattered everywhere, and his clothes were just dumped on the bed. I couldn’t believe he made such a mess.

“Aries, where on earth am I even gonna put you?” I asked while staring at all the items on top of his bed.

“Just push everything off the bed. I’ll clean up later,” he answered, leaning close to give me another kiss. But before he could press his lips on me and once again trap me in his cage of lust and pleasure, I moved away from him and put him back down again. As expected, Aries was pouting at me, obviously unhappy that I decided to stop all of a sudden.

“Do you not want to have sex with me? Am I no longer desirable to you?” Aries suddenly asked, and I swear to god, I almost pounced on him so fast he might have regretted saying all that.

Thankfully, I was able to hold myself back. I took a deep breath, placed my hands on my waist like a nagging mom, and said to him, “You have to clean your room first.”

“Are you serious right now?”

“I’m serious.”

“We just saw each other after five months, and you want me to clean my room now?” Aries asked, and the disbelief on his face almost made me break into a laugh that would definitely get me killed.

“Don’t get me wrong, I desire you as much as I did before you left, but I seriously can’t focus with all the stuff scattered around your room. Besides, Arthur texted me, and he told me that your family is waiting for you at a restaurant in SN Aura. We can just have sex all night long after you’re done,” I explained, and Aries suddenly pinched my arm in frustration before turning away from me.

“No thanks. I’m already turned off anyway,” he said, and I could already see the expression on his face even when he was no longer looking at me.

Aries started picking his things up and angrily throwing them in his bag. I knew he was pissed, but I stayed firm despite how ridiculous this was, even for me. But as I continued to watch Aries force himself to clean his room, I eventually gave up and walked up to him, pulling him towards me and hugging him from behind. “Don’t sulk like that. You’re gonna make me feel bad,” I told him as I rested my chin on his shoulder.

Aries didn’t say anything, so I squeezed him harder before giving him a quick kiss on his cheeks. “Why is my baby acting like this? I’m not going anywhere, you know? There’s so much time left for us, so you don’t have to be in such a hurry,” I told him, and Aries’s ears finally turned red in embarrassment, which is usually a good sign.

“You’re seriously annoying.”

“But that’s the reason why you love me.”

Aries pouted like a kid again, but he finally turned around and hugged me back, burying his face on my chest, instantly making me smile.

“You have no idea how much I waited for this moment. For you, five months might not be long, but for me, it felt like forever, so I’m sorry if I’m too clingy. You’re gonna think I’m still immature, right?” Aries asked, and I sighed and hugged him even tighter. The fact that he still had thoughts like that only meant that our relationship was still in need of fixing. But at least now, we can work on it together. And I am willing to wait for as long as it takes so that he doesn’t have to worry about such trivial things ever again.

“ It felt like forever for me too, “ I whispered, and Aries looked up at me, his face almost tomato red that I couldn’t help but finally break composure and press my lips against him. Aries stiffened, surprised that I kissed him after all that. But after a while, he kissed me back, and the two of us started making out again.

I led Aries to a clear desk and lifted him up so he could sit on top of it. While he clung to me, I kissed his lips and then his cheeks, chin, and down to his neck. I slid my tongue down his neck and started sucking on them to leave a love mark. A moan escaped Aries’s mouth, and that familiar sound instantly turned me on. But as I pressed my hard bulge against his, the phone in his pocket suddenly started ringing, interrupting us.

“ Ignore it, “ he said, but the ringing didn’t stop, so I had no choice but to pull away from him.

“I think you need to answer that,” I told him, and the expression Aries had on his face made me pinch his cheek.

“Just answer it.”

“You got to be fucking kidding me. Can’t a guy just get dick, even for a split second?” Aries said as he angrily pulled his phone out while I laughed at what he said. The two of us checked who the caller was, and when we saw that it was Arthur, we immediately knew why he was calling.

Aries stole one last kiss before answering the phone. “Arthur Buan, you better have a good reason why you called because I’m gonna kill you if you don’t,” Aries answered, making me laugh again. I was certain that Arthur heard me on the other line, which would only make him want to disturb his brother even more. Now he’s gonna keep tormenting us for sure.

“We’ll be there after an hour…huh, what? You want us to leave now? But—” Aries seemed to be in a heated debate with Art, but after a while, his expression became serious, instantly making my mood change from playful to nervous as well.

“Alright, we’ll be right there,” Aries said as he finally ended the call.

As soon as he hid his phone back inside his pocket, Aries looked at me and waited for me to prepare myself for what he was about to say. I honestly thought of all the possible worst-case scenarios, but what Aries revealed next still left me completely dumbfounded.

“My dad…he wants to see you.” 

end.

SPECIAL (2)

WE’VE DONE THIS A million times but it still felt so strange whenever I turn to look at Aries driving his car. There’s just something about him being behind the wheel that makes him look so attractive. Maybe I should ask him if he wants to go to those race car tracks just so I can see him wear a racer outfit.

“If you keep staring at me I might actually melt,” Aries suddenly said, making me snap back to my senses.

“Do you know how hot you look when you’re driving? I might just lean forward and give you a blowjob,” I jokingly told him, but then Aries grinned and glanced at my direction.

“Don’t say such a thing. I won’t say no to you.”

“You’re seriously a rabbit.”

“You haven’t fucked me yet so I’m a bit frustrated.”

“God, please don’t say that while we’re on our way to meet your parents,” I said while covering my face, my heart suddenly beating faster at the mere thought of seeing them again after the messy experience I had with his family last time.

“You just openly said you’d give me a blowjob a few seconds ago,” Aries retaliated.

“That was a figure of speech,” I answered back, and Aries rolled his eyes back like he always does when he doesn’t want to argue anymore.

“Are you nervous?” He then asked while I turned to look out the window.

While staring at the buildings we drove past, I took a deep breath and honestly told him, “I know this isn’t the answer that you might want to hear, but a part of me refuses to see your father again. But at the same time, I know that if we want to make this relationship work, we have to face him in the end.”

“Don’t worry, you’re not alone. I didn’t want to see him either when I got back from the States,” Aries answered. “But Dom, if you don’t want to see him, we don’t have to go. To be honest, I’m still ashamed after what he did and said to you back then. I don’t want you to force yourself just for my sake.”

I turned to look at Aries again, and like before, he had this worried expression on his face that immediately made me grab his hand so I could squeeze it tightly. “Aries, what do I always say? If you’re afraid, I’ll be afraid with you. This also means that if I’m afraid—”

“I’ll be afraid with you too,” Aries finished for me, and I smiled and kissed his hand before squeezing it again.

“Exactly.”

Aries smiled and nodded his head. After that, we became quiet again, and the silence was familiar and comforting. We got stuck in traffic for a while so we ended up listening to our favorite bands like we usually did. But when a song played about first love, I suddenly remembered something that I forgot to open up earlier.

“By the way, you haven’t told me about Blaine meeting up with you earlier,” I casually told Aries. For a split second, I thought we hit something because Aries made such a quick stop at a red light that it made my heart skip a beat.

“J-Jesus, Aries, are you okay?” I asked him, and Aries looked at me like I said the most controversial thing ever.

“How did you know I met up with Blaine?” Aries asked, almost worried.

“I saw him,” I answered. “And I kinda eavesdropped on you two a little, but only for a while, I swear. I left as soon as I could,” I explained further.

Aries looked at me, still shocked. His ears began turning red soon after, but before I could say anything, the car behind us was honking at us. The stop light had already turned green, so Aries quickly looked away from me and started driving again.

“How much did you hear?” Aries then asked.

“W-well…enough to know you just boasted about me to your first love?” I told him, and Aries’s face completely turned red this time. He then reached out to pinch my arm, making me wince in pain.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Well, you weren’t opening it up!”

“I know, sorry,” he then answered in a much softer tone, his attitude making a 180-degree turn again. “I didn’t want to talk about it in full detail because I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I especially don’t want to talk about someone like Blaine when we just saw each other again after five months.”

Aries looked like a kid trying to explain to his parents how he accidentally knocked over a vase. It was obvious he was genuinely troubled about it, and I honestly wanted to tease him further, but instead I reached out and pinched his cheek to make him feel better.

“I didn’t bring it up to scold you,” I told Aries. “I just genuinely want to know how you felt when you saw him again. You know, how did things go? When are you two meeting each other again? I know how important he was to you, so I’m not mad if you two talked.”

“Want me to introduce you to him?” Aries asked instead, catching me off guard this time.

“Me?”

“Are you not my boyfriend?” He asked back, making me laugh.

“Well, I would be very much delighted to meet the guy my boyfriend wanted to be with first. I’m going to make him feel so jealous of us as revenge for breaking your heart,” I told him, and this time, it was Aries’s turn to laugh.

“I expected nothing less from you.”

The two of us smiled at each other, glad that we could finally talk like this again. So after enjoying each other’s company, we didn’t even notice that we finally arrived at the restaurant where we were expected by his family. That’s why when we got out of the car, my heart started beating fast again. It completely forgot why we even drove here in the first place.

“Let’s go?” Aries asked before we went inside.

“Let’s go.”

As much as I want to back out last minute, I sucked it all in and followed behind Aries who confidently went to the restaurant to find his family. I didn’t know what to expect, and I was trying my best to act as calm as I could. But when I saw this long table where the Buan family was seated, my entire body just froze.

“Hey,” Aries cooly greeted as he approached his family, immediately making everyone stand to greet him.

“The graduate finally came! Do you know how long we waited for you?” Apollo, Aries’s older brother, complained as he reached out to give him a hug.

“Uncle Aries! Congratulations!” Athena, Apo’s daughter, then ran up to him holding a bouquet of roses. She hands it to him and then runs back to her mother, making the people at the table laugh because of how obviously rehearsed that was.

While everyone was congratulating Aries for graduating and receiving the highest honor, I awkwardly stood on the side, unsure of what to do. But as I stood there, letting Aries have his moment with his family, someone suddenly tugged my shirt. I looked to my right, and to my surprise, Albie, Aries’s 8-year-old brother, was looking at me with his eyes wide in shock.

“Handsome guy!” He then shouted so loud, surprising me.

The rest of the Buan family stopped what they were doing to look at the two of us. For a moment I just wanted to disappear like a bubble, but then, before I could faint at the embarrassment of being put in the spotlight, the family laughed, breaking the tension in an instant.

“Yup, he is a handsome guy,” my dear friend Arthur said, patting Albie’s head before walking towards me to give me a quick hug.

“Glad you can make it,” he told me.

“Thank you for having me.”

“Arthur…Arthur…” Albie then called out, tugging Art’s shirt this time. Without even asking what he wanted, Art automatically carried his brother so he could look me straight in the eye. Soon after, Albie reached out to touch my face, making me smile at how gentle his touch was.

“Handsome guy,” he said again.

“Thank you, Albie. You’re a very handsome boy too,” I replied with a bright smile, and Albie suddenly hid his face against Arthur’s neck, making me chuckle.

“That means he likes you,” Art explained.

“Albie, that’s Aries’s boyfriend so of course he’s handsome,” Aries then revealed, making me flustered and proud at the same time since he can openly say such a thing now. But then I looked back at his family to check their reaction. I thought they’d give weird looks, but they seemed to not mind. Apo then approached me and hug me as well. Even Aunty Ana, their mother, got up from her seat to give me a kiss on the cheek. I was surprised because I never thought I’d be this welcome.

“Thank you for coming, Dom,” Aunty said warmly, making me thank her back with an embrace.

After the greetings, I turned to look at the infamous Anthony Buan. I thought he’d at least be looking at me, but instead, he was looking at the menu, pretending as if we didn’t exist at all.

“G-Good evening, sir,” I greeted him, but as expected, he didn’t even look my way.

“Well, I’m sure you guys are starving. We already ordered so let’s take a seat,” Aunty Ana said, and Aries and I finally took a seat.

I sat beside Arthur while Aries sat on my left. Right in front of me was Apollo, and I’m glad it was him because I didn’t have to act so timid while eating. But beside him were his parents, so having to be seated so close to their father made my heart pound like crazy. Thankfully he continued to ignore my presence, which was something that didn’t bother me at all. Better to have him ignore me than glare at me.

We caught up with each other during the rest of the dinner. Aunty Ana was even asking me how I’ve been while Apo started offering Aries LET Review centers so he can take the licensure exam as soon as possible. Athena and Albie started playing with their placemats while we ate, which eventually ended after Anthony gave them “the look.”

The night went on and we started having drinks. The nervousness I had before we came here finally left and turned into relief. When I started my relationship with Aries, it never crossed my mind that I’d also have a relationship with his family too. As a gay couple, it wasn’t the norm. Even when I visited their house and met them for the first time, I already saw how different our lives were. Their social class also intimidated me, but having to speak to them like this made me realize that you can’t really judge a book by its cover, or question fate like it’s never been right before.

“Want more beer?” Apo asked me.

“Thank you but I’ve had my full,” I replied, and Apo nodded his head before asking the waiter to take the empty bottles.

After settling the bill, we got up from our table and left the restaurant. The Buan Family wanted to take a picture as a souvenir so I offered to take a picture for them. Surprisingly enough Aunt Ana scolded me and told me to join them so we asked the receptionist to take a picture of us instead.

“Thank you for coming, Dom. I hope you enjoyed yourself,” Aunty Ana said while giving me another hug at the parking lot.

“Thank you again for having me.”

“We should get a couple of drinks next time, Dom. You have a great tolerance to liquor, and I haven’t met someone like that in a while,” Apo then told me before showing me his fist so I could bump it.

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“Have we all forgotten that I’m the son here?” Aries jokingly said while he kissed his mother’s cheek and hugged Apo and Art.

Albie, their youngest, then approached me again. I squatted down so I could level with him, and then he gave me a hug.

“Let’s play next time,” I told him, gently patting his head. I thought he’d move away from me after that, but to my surprise, he wouldn’t let go. Art tried taking him, but then Albie began screaming, telling him that he wanted to come with me.

“Albie, we have to go,” Aries tried to convince him.

“No! I want to be with Uncle   Dom!” He continued to shout while I was carrying him, his hold on me so tight I thought I’d choke. Aunt Ana tried taking him from me too but he ended up throwing a tantrum, so I told them I’d just carry him for the time being.

“What are we gonna do?” Aries asked, worried while I continued to comfort his brother.

“Why not just go home with us? You could sleep in Aries’s room, and Albie wouldn’t have to throw a tantrum the whole night,” Art suddenly suggested, making me look at him with my eyes wide in shock.

“Oh, that’s a great idea!” Aunty Ana then exclaimed. “Will that be alright with you, Dom?”

I didn’t really know what to answer, and when I glanced at their father who looked unpleased with the suggestion, I almost said no. But as Albie continued to hug me tightly, crying in my arms like he didn’t want me to leave, I didn’t have the heart to decline the offer anymore.

“Well then…thank you for having me.”

end.

SPECIAL (3)

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY they said your father wanted to speak with me but then he ended up ignoring me the entire night,” I quietly said while I was patting Albie’s head so he could fall asleep.

After the unexpected dinner with the Buan family, I ended up in Aries’s room, taking care of his little brother who still refused to let go of my hand even when I finally laid in bed with him. Though things ended up like this, I’m glad Albie likes me. Now I only have one family member to persuade.

“To be honest I was confused too, but he didn’t say anything mean so I think that’s a good sign,” Aries replied while drying his hair with a towel after taking a shower.

“I guess you’re right.”

I looked back at Albie and continued caressing his head. I stared at him and smiled, still glad that I finally met him like this. While I admired this brilliant kid, Aries joined us in bed before reaching out to touch my cheek.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I never knew you were good with kids,” he told me.

“I’m an only child so I like acting like a big brother. I also took care of Gelo’s siblings whenever he was busy working so I know a few tips and tricks,” I explained. “Anyway, I think he’s asleep. Should I carry him to his room?”

“It’s okay. I’ll do it. You stay here.” Aries got up from the bed and gently carried Albie, making sure he wouldn’t wake up. I opened the door for them and closed it after. When I was finally alone in Aries’s bedroom, I stretched my arms and walked around.

The first time I visited this place was during Aunt Ana’s birthday. Aries and I had a complicated relationship back then, so I never imagined that I’d be like this with him now. Time really does fly fast.

“Oh, aren’t you Leek?” I asked when I approached the turtle inside this large aquarium that had a literal rainforest. Leek was quietly sleeping in the corner, happy and comfortable. Seeing the pet turtle made me realize again how fucking rich this man is. Like, do you even know how expensive this would be? I already have a hard time feeding myself. What more a turtle?

“What are you doing?” Aries asked when he got back.

“Just looking at Leek. How’s Albie?”

“He’s sound asleep, and he’s with his nanny now so you don’t have to worry,” Aries explained, walking towards me so he could look at his pet turtle too.

“Why did you name him Leek?” I asked him.

“It sounded cute.”

“Should have named him after a zodiac sign. What a missed opportunity.”

“Was that supposed to be funny?”

“I wasn’t trying to.”

I turned and looked at Aries, making him turn to look back at me too. The two of us didn’t say anything, so I took the opportunity to lean over to kiss him. Aries kissed me back, and then he draped his arms around my neck so I could carry him, holding onto his thighs tightly so he would fall off me.

The two of us continued pressing our lips against each other while my tongue explored his. I carried him to the bed and gently put him down so I could go on top of him, locking him in place while I stared at how beautiful he looked under me.

“ Quietly… “ I whispered, and Aries touched my lips with his finger before pulling me down so I could kiss him again.

We made out for a little while before I started pulling his pants down. I was eager to have him, and Aries knew that.

I could hear his heavy breathing and his restrained moans that turned me on even more as I pulled his boxers down. His soft skin turned red, but I could see in his eyes that he wanted me too. So without wasting any more seconds, I unzipped my pants and pulled my cock out.

“ You have lube and condoms? “ I quietly asked him.

“ On the side table. There’s lube. “

I reached out to the drawer of the side table and pulled the tube out. “ There’s no condoms, “ I then said.

“ It’s fine. I want to feel you raw. “

Fuck.

That’s cheating.

“ You’re gonna kill me, “ I said to him as I smothered his hole with the lube, making him flinch because of how cold it was. I stared right at him as I massaged his entrance with my middle and index finger. Then I slowly started pushing my fingers in, helping him adjust before I could put my cock inside.

“ You’re tighter… “

“ I was a virgin for five months, “ he jokingly said, making me chuckle. I leaned forward and kissed him again while I continued to push my fingers deeper. Aries moaned against my ear, his hot breath making the hair on my skin stand. When his body wasn’t as tense anymore, I finally pulled my fingers out and positioned myself at his entrance.

After smothering some lube on my member, I finally pushed my hard cock inside him. Aries shivered while I’m halfway through, his insides squeezing onto me to the point where I was clenching on the bed sheets just so I don’t accidentally cum. 

When I finally pushed everything inside him, I started thrusting my hips, pushing and pulling to make it feel even better. It was slow, but it made Aries moan even louder. I was afraid someone would hear us so I leaned down and kissed him so he could shut his mouth.

I continued thrusting inside him, feeling him and remembering how I missed his taste. Soon my pace got faster, and Aries was already covering his mouth while his bed rocked back and forth.

“ S-shit…more… “ He moaned.

“ Baby I’m gonna cum. “

“ Inside. Let me have it inside. “

I took a deep breath and pushed Aries’s abdomen down. He bit his lips, and then he pulled me again and kissed me. After a few more thrusts, my body trembled, and I finally released my hot semen inside him. Aries then clenched on my arm so hard his nails buried deep into my skin. Soon after, he came too.

“ Fuck, that felt so good, “ I said while sweat trailed down my face. 

I got ready to pull out, but Aries stopped me. “ Keep it inside, “ he demanded, so like a good boyfriend, I didn’t pull out and just fell on top of him, catching my breath like I ran a marathon.

“Dom…”

“Hmm?”

“Let’s have kids,” Aries opened up all of a sudden, immediately making me look back at him with my eyes wide in shock.

“Kids? You want to have them…with me?” I asked him with belief.

“We obviously can’t have kids on our own, but we can adopt. You don’t have to be blood-related to be a family, right? We can take care of them, nurture them, and give them a great future. Don’t you want to?”

“N-No, it’s not like that. I know what you mean. I was just…” I stopped trying to explain myself before telling him, “Of course I want to build a family with you! I want to marry you, I want to have kids with you, and I want to grow old with you. I want to do everything with you, Aries.”

Aries was shocked and then stared at me seriously. But after a while, he started laughing. He draped his arms around my neck and gave me another kiss before hugging me tightly.

“I think you’ll be a great dad,” he told me. And the moment that I heard him say that, my heart started pounding like crazy. And like the first time I met him at the auditorium, I fell in love with him all over again.

“I love you, Aries,” I said as I reached out to touch his sun necklace.

Aries reached out to touch mine too, and then he answered, “I love you too, Domingo M. Adlawan.”

end.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

🌟

It took a while, but Code of Aries has now officially ended! 

The last few chapters were a bit difficult for me because I have this trait where I get unmotivated when I’m nearing the end of something. This applies to when I’m reading a book or watching a series. When I know I’m about to finish it, I just tend to stop, afraid to accept the conclusion. This is what happened to me when I was writing COA, and this isn’t an exaggeration at all.

Code of Aries is a story that is very different from my other works. It’s a much calmer book, but at the same time, it’s more realistic than any of the works I’ve written, especially since it has aspects of my personal life. I had to unlock some of my past as well when I wrote this so my attachment to this book is way more than I expected it to be.

Thank you, everyone, for giving this book a chance. COA is a book that I showed so much of myself, my life, and my family. This novel is very dear to my heart, and I will never regret ever writing this for all of you.

Thank you as well to those who shared with me their stories on how they related to Dom and Aries. It means so much to me when I know that my works are touching people’s hearts, even just for a bit. This is my ultimate goal as a writer. And this is the reason why I write these books.

Thank you to my old readers for trying COA out despite how different this is from the rest of my books, as well as to the new readers who joined us through Dom and Aries’s story.

Another reason why the Code of Aries is such an important book to me is because this is also the first novel I published under the Creators Program. Being a Wattpad Creator has been such an honor, so having to write COA in my first year as a creator is always going to be a heartwarming experience for me. I will forever be thankful to have been given this opportunity.

I would like to thank the people who guided me in this program, especially my coordinators, Ms. Joselle and Ms. Nayin, and our editor, Rawles, whom I met when I was struggling with how to really write this story. COA wouldn’t be possible without them.

Of course, I would also like to thank my sisters, who are my number one supporters for real. Ate G, thank you for buying me a cake when COA reached its first 10k reads. I appreciated that so freakin’ much. And to MJ, my little sister who used a quote from this book for her graduation photo, ate is very very proud of you. You’re going to be a college student soon, and I hope you get to experience something magical. Maybe even find your own number 22.

Lastly, I would to thank my readers, the  BONERS,  for always supporting me in my writing journey. You guys have witnessed me grow here. You saw how I reached milestones and how I improved in becoming a better writer. I will seriously be indebted to you guys. This is not the end. There’s still so much I want to write and share with every single one of you so I hope you can stick by me a little longer.

This was my first full romance-based book, and I hope I did a good job.

To the moon and back, thank you my Numer 22’s. And as I always say, it has been an honor writing for you. This is my official goodbye to  THE CODE OF ARIES. 

Until next time!

· October 30, 2022 - December 15, 2023 ·