introduction

description•

Honey Rose is a sin of all sins, diagnosed with nymphomania at such a young age. Honey was always known for something, whether it was her seductive ways or her honey colored and ocean blue eyes or the fact she was known for something that taken a toll over her.

Though many believe the young sin to be nothing more than her mother’s daughter.

On the day of her birthday, the eighteen year old is sent across the world by her father and her religious grandmother to study at a living hell of a college/boarding school.

Hartford Academy, in where college and religion are the only two things allowed to be spoken in the halls.

Even with the school’s strict rules on inappropriate behavior and the sexual ban between students and students and staff, she cannot help but want to break the rule when she raises her eyes to see such innocent brown ones.

Alessio Rivers was the son of the Principal at the living hell of an Academy.

Glasses, and soft brown eyes that could make anyone fall in awe but a figure that would make one press their thighs together tightly. Innocence so rare no one had ever been able to taint it until his eyes met ones that made him blush deeper than he has before.

Alessio’s parents would never approve of him dating a girl like Honey, especially not when she makes him think of the most sinful things, not sure if she’s changing him for better or for worse. Alessio’s whole life had been spent being taught the sins of the world and to never commit one, follow the ways of God and his parents will be happy.

That’s until she walked in.

In which a nymph corrupts the innocence of her Dean’s son.

character aesthetics •

“I desire the forbidden things especially when they bring me unimaginable pleasure”

H O N E Y • R O S E

“I can’t help but desire your lips on my neck right now, and your tongue along my pulse that only seems to run rapid under your eyes”

A L E S S I O • R I V E R S

“Read me your favorite pieces of poetry while I please you”

A L E S S I O & H O N E Y

warnings •

• mature scenes (smut) & mature language.

• male m.c stutter & a hell of a lot of blushing.

• sensitive topics including, suicidal thoughts, mental health, drug abuse.

author’s note •

welcome to Sweet Innocence!

I wanted this to be a teacher/student but found this plot a tad more interesting.

Thank you for choosing this book and giving yet another one of my shower idea made stories a chance.

I really hope you enjoy it as much as I will enjoy writing it for you beautiful people.

kisses are accepted here , mwah!

& I love you with all my heart 🤍.

disclaimer •

Sweet Innocence © Eroticroses 2021 All Rights Reserved

This story may not be reproduced, republished, or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission by the author. Expect the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, character, places, and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously, and are resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locals is coincidental.

chapt 1 • Like Mother Like Daughter

Sex.

I was addicted to it, it was something my body couldn’t go without for long periods of time. Something my body craved, and yearned for. Something that angered me because I couldn’t help it.

Whenever I denied my body from it’s pleasure it would only find a way to completely torture me.

As a child, father warned me to stay away from things that didn’t belong to me or things I couldn’t have.

But I never listened, if I wanted something I would always get it.

Growing up, I was always a spoiled brat to people because of it and they were completely wrong.

In the eyes of the world I was his daughter, also known as a young seductress who was incredibly reckless.

Reckless.

An adjective used for a person or their actions without thinking or caring about the consequences of an action.

The word was used a lot for me when I turned sixteen, I seem to not have a care in the world.

Today is my nineteenth birthday, Grandma being the holy Christian she is prayed with me for over twenty minutes about a long and sinless life.

“Must you show so much skin?” Grandma gave me a disapproving look as I emerged from the long, white stairs. The sound of people talking filled the room, the words ‘Happy Birthday Honey’ written on a banner.

Men dressed in formal suits and women with dresses hitting their ankles. Here I was with a cut short, wine colored dress that hit my mid thigh. A deep v-neck showing off the curves of my breast.

“Isn’t there something in that bible of yours which says, ‘Thou shall be comfortable in thy skin’?” she glares at me and clutches the small, brown book tighter in her hands.

“Honey, come here please” I look to see father speaking to a woman and a man.

I join him as he stands along with a family, a married woman who seems to be narrowing her eyes at me and a her husband who cannot take his eyes off of my exposed thighs in the short dress which exposed the deep view of my breast.

“Honey, this is Mariana and her husband. You know them well, yes” Father introduces and I stare at the couple whom I have never once seen in my life, he glares at me to go along with it.

“Actually no, I don’t” I give the woman a short smile and she plasters a fake smile on her lips.

“I was best friends with your mother in college, around your age” she clasps her hand around her husband’s arm and he only licks his lips staring into my eyes.

“Eyes just like hers. She will be truly missed” My own smile threatens to fades but I keep it.

“Mother had never mentioned you, are you sure the two of you were even close?” I respond with a slight head tilt.

“That’s enough Honey” Father warns and I roll my eyes.

The nerve half of these people have, to pretend as if they new my mother for the loving person she was only to be the same people bashing her as well as me for something we had never asked for.

The fact father allowed people to do so only pissed me off more with the man I was supposed to call my father.

The sad truth was, he was ashamed of it. Of her, until she couldn’t handle it anymore. He doesn’t speak about it unless it’s brought up and everyone including him only seems to cry crocodile tears and speak every so kindly about her to “comfort” us during the sad times.

“I think it’s best if I get you something to drink, would you like to come along?” Her husband asks, he was definitely in his late thirties. Though the stress seemed of being married to a fake bitch must have gotten to him because of the silver hairs slowly spreading across his thick black strands.

I follow the attractive man over to the large table away from people including his wife’s and my father’s sight, I begin to pour myself a glass when I feel him pressed against me.

“Is there something you need?” I place the glass down and feel his hands fall to my waist.

I can’t help but curse my body for reacting so quickly.

“Who I need is right in front of me” He pushes my hair behind my back. “What I want is under this dress” He dips his head in my neck, moving his hand to the material of the thin dress. His index finger slowly glides down the valley of my breast.

“You have a wife” I close my eyes trying to convince my body that this is wrong, though my mind was completely hell bent that this was. My body hadn’t cared if this man could had potentially had a child.

“As if you care, you’re just another cock hungry whore. Like mother like daughter, no?” And for one of the few times in my life, my body and my mind had the same idea and that was to completely ignore the fact I was soaking wet and not because of him but because of touch.

The sound of a loud groan erupted in my ear when my heel slammed in his foot.

Anger clouded my mind and my eyes as I left the pathetic man to wallow in pain and I found father speaking to grandma, she nodded in agreement at what ever he had said when they came over to me.

“We should go home now, we have many things  to discuss” Everything about this seemed weird, a gut feeling telling me that my birthday was going end in yet another shitty night.

I follow them into our limousine as we arrive at our luxurious mansion. Father the first to turn around as Grandma sits on the chair next to him.

“What is this about?” I speak first as I close the door behind me.

“Go on tell her Morgan, she deserves to know before tomorrow” Grandma says placing the small, brown book on her lap.

“You are eighteen now Honey, chances have been given to you to prove that you aren’t falling into her ways. And yet again you have failed” He removes a photo from the table besides him.

Showing it to me, it’s a photo of me sneaking from his business partners house. “How”-

“See Morgan, the first words coming out of her mouth is how did they get this. This place will be perfect for her” I send a glare straight towards Grandma and she only looks to my father.

“What place?” I let the photo fall from my hands onto the floor when he sighs.

“Your Grandmother and I have made the decision to send you to Hartford Academy. You are of age and this place will help you continue to focus on your studies”-

“And teach you to ask God for forgiveness of your unspeakable sins” She finishes his words.

“I’m not”-

Conversations in this house always called for your words being cut off.

“Don’t even protest because this isn’t up for discussion. It’s already been planned and your bags have already been packed.”

“This isn’t fucking fair, you can’t just up and send me across the world” I felt my body grow with irritation.

They were so set on sending me off almost as if they waited for me to fuck up.

He was sending me to hell, Hartford was a prestigious boarding school and the top university in the world. It was also known for its religious studies. It had been the same one mother was sent to, the same school I blame for ruining her life.

“Why not? You’re proving to be just like her, Hartford helped her and it’ll help you. You’ll continue your English and Art Majors there, as well as finding your way back to God” Grandma replies right back.

“Helped? Helped her? Because of that school she’s dead” I bite back any emotions wanting to seep into my heart that want to cause tears to brim my eyes.

“Honey”-

“Do not speak on my daughter when you knew nothing about her” She stands now.

“You don’t even speak about her, and if you so it’s to slut shame her” I throw my hands up on frustration.

“One thing I do know, is that other than being a terrible mother. You’re the same reason why she couldn’t even remember my fucking name” She places a hand on her chest, shocked by my words.

“That is enough Honey. This conversation is over, your flight leaves in the morning”  I watch as he walks up the white stair case and the sound of his study door slams shut.

Grandma stares at me with daggers and anger apparent in her eyes.

“Even if she could remember you, she would be disappointed in what you’ve become because you’ve turned out to be just like her.”

“Maybe in Hartford you won’t be so disrespectful, something the two of you seem to have in common” she grabs her stuff and shuts the door.

Grandma was always a religious woman, and when she had found out her daughter had the “devils curse” as she calls it. She sent her straight  to Hartford.

I was always left in the dark about her time spent there, I still remember her warm embrace as a small child. But I also remember the constant hospital visits and late night as well. Most would say if you truly wanted to remember what she looked like, look in the mirror.

I was a spitting image of her.

From the soft tanned skin, the raven black hair that cascades down to my ass with its natural waves. The different colored irises, one that matched the afternoon sun shining through a glass of whiskey to the ocean strong ones swimming in the deeps depths of a ocean view under the moonlight.

The curves of my body from my waist to my perfect breast to my toned abdomen and the ink reading honey on the left side of my boob to the rose on my finger and the one on my wrist. Perfect lips some would even say had a taste for everything I couldn’t have.

My looks were more of the reason people could not help but compare me to her all of my life.

Hearing my family whisper words on how shameful it was to have hyper sexuality and that it was enough to allow God to turn his back away from us. The many times before I was even diagnosed they sent me to therapy or took me to church to cast the bad out of me and seemed distraught that they had failed when I had my first diagnosis.

I was always told to blame her for my ways, I had done things that would make even the deadliest sinner turn from me and not because I wanted to but because the smallest touch whether it was sexual or not could have my body burning with desire at anytime.

Well then, Happy Birthday to me.

• first chapter thoughts ?

chapt 2 • Behave

The entire car ride here, Grandma had been reciting bible verse to me.

I was close to jumping out of this moving car.

Even on the plane, she couldn’t stop speaking about how perfect Hartford would be for me.

I had gotten up to get away from her and ended up in the back storage with the hot co-pilot.

“Carter is a friend of mine, he is also the Dean of Hartford. He’s aware of your mother and aware of your arrival and that.. thing you have” I roll my eyes and look out the window.

She couldn’t even say nymphomania, as if it were poison in her mouth.

“Behave here Honey. God will only forgive those who have sinned and are willing to follow through his path” she speaks placing a copy of her own small bible on my lap.

The sheer black car came to a stop at the prestigious, golden gates. Opening upon our arrival, I took a look at the surroundings of the academy.

The roofs were castle like, two tall buildings surrounded the short one painted white like December snow.

Large pillars in front along with dark black windows shielding the outside eye from the inside. The sophisticated look of the school matched exactly what the magazines had said about this place.

The door opened for me and I was met with a woman with auburn hair and a black portfolio containing my information inside. She scanned me from head to toe carefully before releasing a small “hmph”.

Her black pumps were heavy on the concrete floor. Then a man next to her only seemed to stare at me directly, with a burning annoyance at my presence and a smile at Grandma’s.

“Carter” she greeted while my bags were being placed on the side of me.

Carter was a tall man, slick back brown hair with a couple of silver strands. Glasses hiding dark, angry eyes and wrinkles decorating his forehead along with the side of his lips.

He wore a cross necklace on his neck, dressed in a Pope like suit. He stepped down and took my Grandmother’s hand in his. “Lovely to see you again”

“Carter, Hartford has never looked better” she happily says.

His eyes switched back to me, he stared at me as if he was looking at my mother all over again.

“You even share her eyes” He speaks about my Heterochromia.

“She is my mother” I said sarcastically, eliciting a shameful nod from Grandma and a small smile from Carter.

“You even seemed to inherit her attitude. I think we should continue this conversation in my office” I turn to Grandma before she leaves.

“Your father will be in contact with you. Behave” I respond with nothing, watching the car pull off.

I follow him into the large building, the paintings of God, and yet another large cross in the center of the room.

“Please take a seat Ms Rose” He says as we enter his office and he sits at his desk. I take the seat in front of him as he leans his elbows and crossed hands on the oak wood desk.

“As you know Hartford Academy is made for students like yourself who feel as if tapping into their teenage hormones are more important than their studies. Hartford is an academic boarding school, along with our beliefs to deprive you of what you cannot seem to live without, sexual intercourse. This brings me to our policies” he further on explains.

“We have strict rules when it comes to sexual behavior and relationships between students. It is strictly prohibited, fail to cooperate with these terms and your scholarships as well as your studies here will be terminated” Dean speaks with his hands clasped on the oak wood desk.

Around his late forties but aging did nothing for him, his grey hairs were receding ever so slightly. Wrinkles along his forehead and the sides of his mouth, and hate along his eyes as they land on me.

“We were very aware of your arrival, Miss Rose. We have contact with your father understanding who your mother is and her history here. We will have eyes on you at all times strictly because of your diagnosis and how it can interfere with our set rules” he begins to explain how invested father is in my life here even though he was the one who sent me to the same school my grandmother sent my mother at a younger age.

“We hope you don’t make the same mistakes, especially seeing how bright of a student you are” I finally wait to see if those are his closing words before speaking.

“I’ll be sure to be on my best behavior, sir” he glares at me as a result of my sarcastic tone.

“Please follow Adeline to your room. Take this as well” he hands me a bible and the cross necklace. I stare at the small white card, a schedule in which to pray for forgiveness for the sins we have committed under the eye of the Lord it states.

I shut the door and follow Adeline into a room which has my bags.

The room was calm, white curtains blowing softly due to the open window allowing the smooth wind to explore the room. The large bed covered in white sheets to match the curtains and the elegant bathroom along with my bags already sitting around and a desk with a small lamp for late night studying days.

“As the assistant to the Headmaster, it is my job to report anything that goes against any of the many terms listed here” she hands me a white packet filled with black ink that I wasn’t going to read at all.

“Please note we observe your behavior here to see if you improve” I hate the fact they speak as if their counseling a child right now.

“If you are doing well, we allow weekend visits back home or allow you to travel out in the city. Many of our perks are for the students attending, some control the on campus thrown parties.”

“You are not allowed in the opposite sex room, neither are you allowed to sneak around. You’re not allowed to be out past ten, later than that will result in punishment meaning you will lose the perks of privacy and we will have someone at your door to guide you through your time here.”

“Follow these simply terms and you’re stay here will run smoothly.”

“Is that all?” I ask already fed up with this entire place.

“Welcome to Hartford Academy” She exits without another word and I remove my phone from my bag.

The no missing calls scream stares back at me and I toss the phone onto the pillow behind me along with the small book and necklace.

Father has not called since I landed, he wasn’t even there to say goodbye as I boarded the plane and I couldn’t careless.

He couldn’t wait to send me off the way grandma did mother.

Father was close to grandma, they only seemed to share one brain and agreed with everything said about mother.

Back home I was known for my diagnosis and for being my mother’s daughter, shamed continuously for something I could not help but instead of crying I try to come to terms with it.

I don’t miss the whispers on the streets when I pass by people, the slut-shaming women who glare at me and the men who see me as another disposable body and just another ‘cock hungry whore’ as they would call me until my knee meets there small parts that couldn’t satisfy the most sex deprived person.

I stepped inside of the glass shower, allowing the warm water to rain upon my skin and the scent of vanilla and cocoa filled the room as I lathered the soap along my skin until it was whisked away. Letting the water to soak in my hair, the natural waves of my black hair began to come out as I turned off the shower and stepped out.

If this was my life now.

Behaving was one of the many things, I wasn’t going to do.

short chapter only because we meet the male M.C in the next.

Please note, I am not big on religion. If anything written is wrong or offensive, please be sure to correct me as I care for my readers feelings 🤍.

remember that I love you all so much!

chapt 3 • A New Interest

I needed something, someone, a toy, someone’s fingers. Fuck anything.

Four days and I was sent to lectures twenty four seven without time to please myself. This school did deprive you of pleasure, it was torture and that’s exactly what they wanted to do.

Put me through absolute torture.

I didn’t care if I got caught in this confined room with the random guy, gripping my hips.

“Fuck” I moan, my nails digging into his shoulders. What my body had been begging me for had finally washed over me as I came undone.

Getting off of him, I fixed my skirt and my hair. Hearing him curse and fix his belt to his black slacks. “We should do this again” I hear him say.

“This was a one time thing” I had long forgotten his name, plus it was meaningless sex to satisfy my body after an aching four days of ignoring it.

Leaving him in the dark room, I bump into Adeline and shut the door close in the boy’s face before he can exit. It’s clear as day she has taken it upon herself not to like me and torture me just as Carter has.

“Please refrain from wearing inappropriate clothes, if you need actual clothes there will be some sent up to your

room. You can wear those as you prepare with your meeting with your tutor“ I look at her in confusion when she mentions a tutor.

“You’ve been registered for a tutor, I took the initiative of informing you since I brought the idea to the Dean and he believed it was an amazing idea” she smiles happily.

Showing Adeline that I’m remotely bothered by this would make her day. “That’s just perfect, I was on my way to sign up for one” her smile falls and she rolls her eyes.

“Again, please wear appropriate clothes during your stay here, I would hate to take away any of your weekend privileges” She would love to ruin this entire stay here, she would be more than happy to take away my will to eat.

“God would be disappointed in you Adeline, threatening one of his faithful children” I return making her jaw clench.

“Do not speak of God or being faithful when you nothing about either of them” she huffs and walks off and I let open the door.

The guy walks out, not before leaning in my ear. “Good luck with the tutor. My name is Victor by the way” he says on his way out and I curse remembering that both Carter and Adeline had made the executive decision to put me in the tutoring program.

Luckily for me, tutoring came with its own perks. It was the only time you could be in the room of the opposite sex, your curfew was much longer almost non existent and depending on your improvement, you didn’t have to attend lectures as much.

I stopped at my room to shower the smell of sex off of me, I’m sure Adeline had been here for a while because she couldn’t pick it up only focused on the short, red plaid skirt and the black cut top which showed my abdomen.

All people see is mother when they look like me.

Holidays were never my favorite because my family was the epitome of fake, along with the people who claim to be mother’s friends and are the complete opposite.

I developed it from my mother, diagnosed with nymphomania at the age of sixteen. She was diagnosed with it at the same age.

Grandma was a religious woman so it made life for her a living hell, mother would write about how she felt disgusted in her skin because of her. How she was sent to an all girls school for most of her life before being sent here at the age of nineteen.

Father had made it extremely clear that he didn’t care what happened in my life especially when he had told me I’d end up just like her in a matter of time.

In some ways, Carter reminded me of father. From the judgmental stares to the “you’re turning out to be just like her” talks any chance they get.

Exiting my room I’m snapped from my thoughts when someone exits Carter’s office.

Fuck me.

Golden brown eyes resembling the sun during a sunset behind clear round lenses.

Dark brown curls falling forward on his face, perfect defined cheekbones. A sharp jaw I wanted to run my finger across and perfect pink lips almost begging for a kiss made me cross my leg over the other.

Dressed in a white button, his  strong muscles poked from the shirt that did nothing to hide his figure, the shirt was tucked into black slacks. With a bag around his neck.

Running his veiny hand through his thick hair to push the mess of curls from his view. His soft eyes meet mine and a strict blush coats his face.

Carter switched his attention back to him. I was intrigued, beyond intrigued at this point. I needed to know who he was and why he caught my attention so fast.

When he began walking the opposite direction into the library, I followed until I was stopped by a girl with Adeline’s similar features expect for her auburn hair, her’s was a nice shade of blonde.

“I’m Charlotte Hayes” she smiled with her hands behind her back.

“Honey Rose” I said back trying to get her to move out of the way.

“I know, quite frankly I’m sure we all know who you are. Your mom was friend’s with mine here, hopefully we can share what they had” I stared at the girl blankly, begging this wasn’t my tutor.

“Are you by any chance a tutor here?” she shook her head and I let out a breath of relief.

“Heavens no, but the Headmaster’s son is. Sadly we can’t have tutors of the opposite sex unless no more are available” she says the last part with a sigh.

“The Headmaster’s son?” she nods excitedly.

“Alessio, he’s one of the tutors here. Sometimes I wish the rules weren’t strict, he studies on poetry and fiction books and he does all the painting and ceramics. Plus he’s really good looking” she whispers the last part and I grow even more intrigued by the boy.

“Do you know where I could find him?” she points in the direction of the library.

“If you want to hang out anytime, my room is the closest one to the right” If this is Adeline’s sister then Adeline was definitely born from an evil egg.

Thanking the girl, I made my way over to the library. Pushing open the doors to the empty room, with its brown interior and millions of books on the black shelves, the room was calming and quiet. Perfect for one who loved to read.

Large windows brought in the light from outside, reflecting it down on me and the boy from earlier.

He sat with a book in his hands, his eye brows furrowed together as he concentrated on the words written in black ink.

I walked further towards him, admiring him further until he heard my steps come to a halt.

He looked up, a deep blush returned as his eyes met mine. He switched his gaze between them once more like he couldn’t believe them up close.

“H-Hello” he spoke first and I bit my lip harder at the deepness of his voice which sent vibrations straight between my thighs causing them to press together.

“I’m looking for my tutor” Realization crosses over his face and he takes a nervous gulp.

“And you seem to be the only person here, and being at the fact this is against the rules with the exception that there are no more tutors” I take a seat and lean my elbows on the table.

“That makes you my tutor”  I could only conjure dirty images just by the peak of his collarbones.

My eyes wondered up the expensive watch on his wrist and his captivating scent filled my nose. I couldn’t pin point what it was but it had me wanting more.

I slightly tilt my head when he doesn’t speak.

“Are you going to tutor me, Alessio?” I test his name on my tongue, liking the way it sounds.

“I-I c-can’t” he spits out. “I-I’m sorry” he shuts his book and stands up, with a stutter of the words ‘sorry’ he rushes out of the library leaving me terribly confused.

I exit a few seconds behind him, he disappears behind the hall leading to the rooms for the guys and I retreat to mine shutting the door.

If Alessio was Carter’s son, it was someone close and important to him. Knowing Carter, Alessio had probably been through the studies of the academy since he was little and that only peaked a new interest in me.

An interest for the Headmaster’s son.

• you must all hate me for how long this update took, but I’ve been busy with moving and stuff so please forgive me !

chapt 4 • Forbidden

“You’re failing half of your lectures, we send you here to help you and you can’t even help yourself” Father scolds me on the phone while I sit in the tub filled with cocoa smelling bubbles around me.

“Lovely to hear from you as well father” I close my eyes, almost picturing him gripping the phone tightly at my sarcastic tone.

Father hadn’t called since I got here, and now he was yelling through the phone because I’ve been failing out on lectures.

“Honey, this is serious. If you don’t start passing lectures, you’ll be there for another year” I open my eyes and stand from the tub, grabbing my towel and entering my room.

“There is no way in hell, I’ll be here for another year” I grow frustrated with father.

“Then I suggest you start passing your lectures” He hangs up and lean my head back onto the bed, with a irritated groan. I moisturize my body and put on my uniform before leaving my room.

I passed Charolette who was busy staring at her lecture notes until she felt me pass by her. I entered Carter’s office knowing it piss him off for me not knocking.

“Ms. Rose, please wait for me allow you in next time” I ignored him, shutting the door and standing in front of his desk which made him take off and close his glasses.

“You’re failing me for what? I attend all my lectures!” Carter just blankly stares at me.

“If you had read over our terms, you would have known. Attending lectures also includes passing them to lower your stay here, if we see you are improving” he further on explains and I find my hands clenching at my sides.

“That’s a load of bullshit!”

“Language Ms. Rose, I still have the authority on whether to allow you to spend your weekend out in town or stay back and catch up on the many lectures you’ve missed this week” he cleans glasses and puts them back on.

“I suggest you get to studying, I would definitely hate to extend your stay” he opens his small bible and begins to read, my blood seems to boil as I stand in front of his desk.

With anger everywhere throughout my body, I leave his office in a hurry. With the slam of the door, I bump into a hard chest and the sound of books come crashing down the floor.

I was yet again met with soft brown eyes beneath round glasses. The familiar tint on his face and a frown on his lips at the fallen books.

I hadn’t ran into Alessio since he ran out on me in the library, it was almost as if he was avoiding me. The only time I saw him was when he was rushing past the hall to get to his next lecture.

I bent down to gather his books. “S-Sorry, I should pay m-more attention” he speaks, taking the book back into his grasp. When my hand brushes over his, he pulls away quickly as if I had just burned him.

Before I got the chance to respond, Carter opened his door. “Alessio” he said firmly, seeing his son standing in front of the last person he wanted him to meet.

“I see you’ve met Honey” Alessio’s eyes moves from his father’s to mine and I let a small smile grace my lips at the gulp of air he takes.

“Honey if you excuse us, we have stuff to discuss” Carter says, I look over my shoulder and see Carter’s face hardening at every second I spend standing in front of his son.

“It was lovely speaking to you again Alessio” I send him a wink and move to the side.

Alessio shyly nods and enters Carter’s office, Carter looks at me with narrowed eyes.

“I think you should attend a tutoring session to raise those lecture grades” He says in a cold tone, then it all rushes back to me that his very own son was assigned to me as a tutor despite the rules.

“Yes sir, Im going to get all the extra help that I can” I smile and he furrows his eyebrows when I happily walk off.

I remember Charolette’s room number and knock, when she opens it. She has on one of those grandma night gown on and she smiled when she saw me.

“Honey! Please come in” she moved out of the way and let me pass, I sat on the chair in front of her bed.

“I need you to tell me more about the Headmaster’s son” she shuts the door.

Charolette had gone into details about Alessio, how he had done absolutely nothing wrong but was forced to study here because of Carter.

He attends all his lectures and never once missed a single class. He was too busy to see all the stares he got from other students because his head was always in a book, he kept to himself and didn’t speak. Never went to the outside campus parties and was always studying somewhere.

Carter being rich was an understatement, the academy meant absolutely everything to him. He cared about his reputation a lot. It would absolutely kill him if anyone ruined either, his son or his reputation.

My mind wandered for the good and the bad.

The good being that I actually needed a tutor to avoid staying at this hell for another year.

The bad being I was going to have help from the boy who was completely off limits.

Alessio was forbidden. And it’s a good thing that I like all things forbidden.

I thanked Charolette, surprisingly I could actually stand her over her sister. Who I had unfortunately caught glimpse of speaking to Alessio.

Adeline was talking his ears off, she seemed to clutch on her portfolio yet again. Alessio on the other hand had looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.

He finally had stopped her talking what looked like a four word sentence before her face fell and he walked off to the same place he always in.

I followed with a plan swirling in my head, when I entered the library. It was empty, I continued through the large room until a hard slam caught my attention to one of the doors in the far back.

The door was creaked open, and I peaked my head in. Curiosity getting the best of me.

The sight in front of me caused me to bite my lip.

Alessio was in his uniform but the white sleeves were rolled up, revealing his veiny hands. He had a large handful of what looked like clay in his hands and repeatedly slammed it on the table.

He leaned his head back to push the fallen strands away from his face, along with his glasses.

I watched as he kneaded his hands until the clay was where he wanted it. A wheel like machine was next to him and he had thrown the clay on top of it ready to work with it until the stupid door creaked and his eyes met mine behind it.

I entered the door to admire the room and him further.

“H-Honey” his deep voice caught me and it made me want to hear him say it over and over.

“I-Is there something I can help you with?” He wiped off his hands and I walked over to his desk.

Tracing the patterns of the wood with my index finger, I faced the sweet boy in front of me.

“You’re going to tutor me” I said straight away.

“I need your help to get out of this shit hole” I now stand in front of him and hear him suck in a breath.

“M-My help?” I nod my head.

“I’m failing my lectures and according to someone, you seem to be passing all of them. If I don’t pass them by the end of the year, your father and mine are going to keep me here for another year and that’s not happening.”

“And who better to teach me the ways of a long and sinless life then the Headmaster’s son” I tilt my head slightly.

Charolette had also explained if your tutor had taught you anything, whether it related to your lectures or not it would still count.

You got longer curfews and it was the only time you were allowed into their room. Tutors were trusted so you didn’t have much surveillance on you as you did without one.

“I-I’m not sure”-

“Look, let’s try this for a week. If you don’t want to do this anymore after then I’ll find someone else if I can. If you’d like to continue then we will from there, okay?” He switched his eyes back in forth between mine, his pink blush turning a deeper red.

I could see him contemplating a response in his head.

“F-Fine” I slightly close the space between us to where I can see his chest rise and fall quicker.

“Fine what, Alessio” I wanted to hear him say it.

“I-I’ll tutor you Honey” If Carter found out, it would be terrible mainly for me.

But that’s why I didn’t care, because Carter didn’t have a single caring bone in his heart for me. When he looked at me it was like he was seeing my mother all over again, something hid behind his eyes and I couldn’t tell what.

Carter was a man of God, he looked down upon others who committed sins including half of the students here.

“Perfect, then you’re my tutor and I’m yours” His face turned into one of confusion, he hadn’t known what I meant and that was part of the plan.

Carter wanted his son far away from sin, and I was going to teach him every single one. Starting off with the devils favorite.

Me.

• I love you all 🤍.

chapt 5 • Sweet Like Honey

I fixed my obsidian black, curled hair in the mirror, fixing my white buttoned shirt. Tying the long ends to stop at my belly button, I pulled up my knee high socks to go along with my skirt.

I was always told that I should have been a model, my legs were toned and perfect. I was also told that my tongue and lips would get me into nothing but trouble, but trouble was fun to me.

It was the start of summer, which meant that I would begin to start my college lessons. Hartford offered them encase you wanted to attend a university after your stay. I picked up the schedule that was sent to my door this morning by Charlotte along with a muffin. I was given the courses of English Literature and Art and one Prayer lecture.

I fold the paper and tuck it in one of my books, a knock on my door came and it was the devil herself with her usual portfolio.

“What a lovely way to start my morning” I held the door with a sarcastic smile. She entered with no words, she had a pen ready and she seemed to be displeased with my uniform choice.

Adeline wore a skirt that hit her ankles, a long sleeved shirt with a bow in the middle. Her red hair was braided behind her back.

Charlotte informed me that Adeline was only nineteen, she had an internship here. Unfortunately for me, that internship wouldn’t run out until another year before she was on her way to her dream university which was Harvard.

Of course it was.

Adeline was one of those perfect daughters, she believed in God as much as her parents did. She was respectful to adults, to prayed before she went to bed. Charolette had also informed me that she had given herself to celibacy or she was waiting until marriage.

She was the person Grandma would love to give me up for.

“It’s a weekly student report, I have to make sure you have nothing in the room that would go against the rules” In which she means things as, condoms, birth control unless they were taken to prevent a period, drugs, sex toys, anything that could be used to harm yourself.

Adeline began to look around, she opened my closet and peeked at a box I hid behind my clothes and seemed to smile as if she had hit the lottery.

The disappointment on her face made me smile when she found the box filled with the most ugliest dresses that Grandma had recently sent after hearing about my “inappropriate” choice of clothing.

“You are required to have a cross in your room, either above your bed or on the side” I opened my dresser and took out the cross necklace. Laying on my desk near my bed, she wrote something down.

“Happy now?” She slightly rolled her eyes, continue to look around,

Every rule on this academy made me want to rip my own head off. You had absolutely no privacy when it came to the weekly reports.

She walked into my bathroom, opening the cabinets to look for any pills. I quickly snuck my hand under my pillow and hid my pink friend in a pile of clothes which she skipped over.

If she found this she would not think twice about reporting it. The Academy tries to deprive our bodies of pleasure is why I made sure to pack my favorite one.

Maybe this is what she needed, a fucking vibrator to make her feel what she had given up which was pleasure. Maybe this is why she’s like that because she has never experienced what I have many times.

When she looked at me suspiciously, I sat on the bed pretending that I was patiently waiting for her to finish.

With a look as if she was itching to find something that she could report. Adeline checked my room once more until she realized that there was nothing to find.

“Since you’re having trouble keeping up acceptable grades, you will use the weekend here to begin any projects assigned to you”  She says almost proudly, wanting the words to irritate me more but they do the opposite when I think of Alessio.

I have yet to meet him, only a week before he decides if he wants to continue being my tutor or not and I was going to some how slowly push him into seduction.

“Not a problem. I don’t mind one bit” I say, standing up and walking over to my door. Holding it open, Adeline eyes me wondering why I wasn’t complaining about having my weekend privileges taken away.

“Will that be all your highness?” She says nothing and leaves the room. I close it the moment both of her feet exit.

—

I let my fingers skim across the books, waiting to be read. I hold the book I’ve tried to avoid studying, close to my chest as I make my way down the back of the room.

The one door creaked up slightly, this time I enter with a knock. Just to find him holding a brush dipped in crimson paint, holding it to the blank white canvas.

He turns his head to me and his tanned cheeks turn a light pink. “Ready?” I enter, placing my books down on the desk besides him.

I sit on top of the desk and watch him freeze in the seat, I feel my skirt rise up my thighs, revealing the soft skin there.

“You’re early” he says almost surprised.

“Of course, I would hate to be late for my first lesson” I wink at him and he turns his face back to the painting in front of him.

I get off the desk to inspect the room further, the clay I had once seen him turn from a complete circle was now a bowl holding apples. The different poetry books caught my attention, Van Gogh paintings hung above the book shelves.

From Edgar Allen Poe, Robert Frost, George Eliot and Oscar Wilde along with many other famous writers and poets sit in his shelves.

I turn to find him watching as I browse through each well kept old book. “Don’t mind me, continue” I take an apple from the bowl. Running my thumb over the crisp red fruit.

He placed a smaller book besides me, inside was a type of schedule. “If this doesn’t work for you, you can tell me and I’ll adjust it” he said as I looked at the different times that we would meet.

“These are fine” I close the book and place it on the rest of my books to study. “Anything else?”

“I hope you don’t mind but I think we should keep this between us” He spoke almost in a worried tone that I would freak out on him.

But come to think of it, I understood but I felt like messing with him a little bit.

Stepping closer to where I was directly in front of him, looking up at him.

“Are you embarrassed of being seen with me Alessio?” I watched his eyes fill with panic.

“No, no of course not I just”- I cut him off, finding his panicked expression slightly humorous.

“I’m kidding, I don’t mind sneaking around” Yet again, he averted his eyes to the apple in my hand, not able to keep eye contact with me without having his face turn a deeper color.

I lift the apple to my lips, he seems to follow the fruit when I place it at my lips and take a bite. The sweet juice of the fruit falls upon my lips and I look down to his own.

The strawberry pinkness of them which held all the innocence which mine lacked.

He gulped when the single drop lingered on my lip and turned around while I sat back on the desk.

Shit.

My mind began to imagine the dirtiest of things, the softness that was his black hair between my finger tips as I tugged on the strands, the image of his face between my legs as he looks up at me from his glasses.

I found my thighs pushing together, I placed the apple down besides me trying to calm my thoughts.

While he was turned around, I drifted my eyes down to his muscular back. I couldn’t help but wonder what hid underneath the white button up.

How the hell was I going to do this if I just kept getting wet at the pure thought of him.

“English Literature and Art” I finally say, making him turn around to face me.

“My failing lectures” One would wonder how the hell was I failing them but the Professors were absolutely terrible to sit and listen too.

They convert the bible with art and literature. The only lectures I chose to take because I was interested in them when I thought I was actually going to the university of my choice.

Another thing both my Father and Carter have taken from me.

“I want you to teach me how you did all of this” I gesture all around the room.

“And before you say it’s not as easy as it sounds” I get off the desk yet again standing in front of him. This time I plop down onto the couch besides the desk, crossing my leg over the other.

“I’m willing to see exactly how far this can go” I open one of the books and look to him.

“If you’re okay with it, maybe we should start tomorrow” he suggested, I hummed. Standing up and collecting the books all together. The books close by my chest.

Walking over to the door, I stopped to turn to him. “See you tomorrow then, tutor”  with the shy “Goodbye Honey” in which I could hear him say my name over and over.

Soon Honey, soon.

I remind myself as I shut the door.

Leaving the library, on the way back to my room. I bump into Carter who’s locking the door to his office.

He looked down to the books in my hands. “Studying? Nice to see you taking initiative”

I suppress a laugh from my lips, instead I smile at him with such an innocent tone.

“You’d be happy to know I’m receiving extra help, I’m taking all that I can get” I reply, his lips in their usual thin line.

“Goodnight sir” I return, and leave him in the halls.

Now knowing I have yet begun the plan to innocently seduce his son. Taking something from Carter that he holds dear to his heart.

Maybe Hartford isn’t so bad.

Updates might come slower than I would like, I’ve been absolutely exhausted from recent events.

-not edited-

chapt 6 • Definitions

During my second week at the academy, I’ve learned that not only was Carter Rivers the Dean to this religious academy/ university. He was also a pastor who devoted his life to God, his father was the Dean before when Carter attended here.

I was stuck, sitting in yet another tiring and boring prayer lecture. The man in the long, black clothing stood behind a podium with a bible in hand along with a black cross necklace in his grasp.

Pastor Sawyer was the academy’s personal pastor, a dear friend of Carter’s who spoke nothing about how we’ve let the sins of world consume our purest minds and bodies.

Truthfully everything about it was complete and utter bullshit to me. They were forcing a way of belief down our throats, blaming us for events in our lives we have no control over and call it a sin for not being the perfect children they’ve dreamt of us being.

Luckily, the only thing about this lecture was that I sat in the perfect vision of Alessio.

While everyone else, including him. Listened to the Pastor run on and on about how important it is to ask for forgiveness, the pen I was supposed to be using to write down the key points in the prayer was only being spun around my finger before I placed it to my lips.

Everyone’s eyes were closed, as well as Alessio’s. From here I had the sight of his side profile and shit it was a breath taking sight, his jaw was perfectly sharp. The peak of a silver chain which held a cross to it was teasing me to no end.

I watched his lips repeat the prayer in a whisper, underneath the desk. My legs pressed together, my grip on the pen grew tighter.

While he was praying for a long and hopeful life, I was praying that my lips would soon find their way against the side of his neck. While the cross of the necklace displayed on his neck, I was using my lips to write sins down his unmarked skin.

Then I paused in my thoughts.

How did I know Alessio was unmarked?

There was an easy answer to the question, knowing Carter he would have only taught Alessio the good in the world. Not once has he done anything bad, of course he was forced to study here not because he’s done something that his parents would call unspeakable. It was because Carter wanted his son to be sheltered from the bad in the world.

Besides, since I’ve been here. I’ve come to notice that Alessio doesn’t have the time of day to notice the gawks and flirtatious stares he receives on the daily. He was completely oblivious to it all.

There it was again, almost like at the snap of anyone’s fingers. I felt the urge to touch myself, the urge to change Carter’s holy son to a devil behind glasses.

Almost being startled by a tap on my shoulder, Charolette seemed to take me out of my head.

“Honey? Are you okay?” I look down to the book that I didn’t notice I was now gripping. I let my grip relax, with a short nod of reassurance. Charolette went back to her small prayers.

If my seat in hell wasn’t reserved already, it had been now. Solely for the fact that I was thinking thrilling it would be to have the chance to see Alessio wither under my touch.

Shit.

The simple thought was enough to make me wet, if one were to check I’d probably be soaked.

I rose my eyes to the clock, in need to be out of this class and suppress the growing arousal between my legs.

To me my nymphomania was a gift and a curse. A curse because I couldn’t control the feeling that crawled over my body when I was slightly turned on, a gift because the confidence it brought to my life only made me love myself even more.

Whether it was the sight of my eyes, the words that came from my lips or the smallest sight of my tattoos, something about me seemed to steal the attention of everyone I’ve ever come in contact with.

I’ve always been told that I was beautiful, I believed every compliment I’ve ever received. Grandma thinks it’s just me being a cocky brat, but it was the quite opposite.

I admired myself. There was nothing wrong with loving yourself so much that you were deemed as conceited.

“Dismissed” The Pastor finally said, the first one packed and out of the door without a second glance my way was my newest tutor, who I have the chance to meet with after my third lecture.

Taking my bag, I follow Charolette down the halls as she speaks about wanting a sleepover since she feels bad that her sister denied my weekend privileges.

“I can always invite Quinn, she’s coming back from visiting her parents” she says as the both of us enter the dining hall and she picks up a small bowl of fruit.

Quinn was Charolette’s roommate, she left about three months ago to visit her parents. Charolette tells me that she had an Australian accent due to  her father being raised in Australia.

“If you want, you can stay in my room tonight. She won’t be back until tomorrow” she happily stated, taking a small bite of her sliced pineapple.

“Can’t, I’ll be too busy with my tutor. But I’ll be sure to stop by and help you welcome her back” She understood, still happy that I was going to help her.

“Which if you excuse me, I should be meeting right about now” I stood up and waved her goodbye, grabbing my bag besides me.

Walking through Hartford’s gloomy halls, I was soon paused in my tracks by a tall guy with one of those “I’m trouble” smirks.

With black hair and the usual white button up, the guy in front of me could only steal my attention for a second as I landed my eyes on the nose ring and blue eyes that seemed to scan me as I did the same to him.

“Why in such a hurry?” he first spoke.

“And you are?” I studied him, I could already tell by the little glances he got by some of the girls that he was yet another Hartford boy that had the attention of the entire academy.

“Chris” I know he was holding off on saying something about my eyes, he was going to wait until I introduced myself only to hear my name and compliment both but for now he stuck with his signature smirk.

As if he believed such a troublesome smirk would get me to say my name and fall into a game of teasing only for it all with him taking me in his room while I bite hard on my lip for us not to get caught.

There was only person on my mind and that was the glasses wearing, innocent devil sitting in the library with a book and an apple in his hand right about now.

“Are you going to keep smirking me to death or at least until your jaw locks or are you going to tell me what you stopped me for?” Not taken back at my response, almost as if he was expecting attitude from me, there was not doubt that he already knew my name but wanted to play clueless.

“Being one of the many people stuck here, thought you could use company” he winked, if only I could teleport myself away from this entire situation.

“Don’t need it” I moved past him but he seemed to only block my way yet again.

“You’re going to spend your next two days studying?” He looked down to my books.

“Precise, it’s far more interesting than this entire conversation” I hurried passed him before he had the chance to speak and waste my time any further.

—

“You came” He finally gazed up from his poetry book in his grasp.

Two words, two words that were completely innocent didn’t end up that in my mind.

Bad Honey, Bad.

“Having doubts about me already?” I placed my books in front of him as he sat at the desk close to large window covered in a deep shade of grey curtains.

“Not that, I just didn’t expect anyone to want to learning about the basics of Literature after lectures” I hummed to his voice.

It was the right tone of deep and soft.

“Luckily for you, I’ve been granted the pleasure of being stuck here for the next two days” I sat myself directly next to the empty space on his desk, right next to him.

“Let’s get started shall we?” The short skirt slid up a tiny bit, I caught the gulp he took before he grabbed the book and kept his eyes off of me.

“I think we should start off with the definition” He looked up to me for the answer. “Do you know what that is Honey?”

Say my name again.

Focus Honey, Focus.

I took the book from his hands and read “The expression of the human creative skill or imagination” he took the book from my hands.

“If you hadn’t read it from the book, what would your definition be?” I simply sat there trying to put it in words but nothing came out.

“Art can be whatever you want it to be, doesn’t have to make sense to everyone. As long as it makes sense to you” I felt as if I should have been taking notes not to forget anything but I could only sit and listen to his voice.

“Paintings of nothing but colors and shapes could tell a million stories and no one would know expect the painter and the brush” he kept his attention to the book, pointing out paintings to look like nothing but just random things on a canvas.

“What’s the point in that?” I stand up, now besides him.

“Stories aren’t always told in words” That’s when I turned his attention toward me, his tanned cheek coated with a nice pink as he blinked up at me.

“What’s your story then?” I ask, the question only causing his perfect lips to part.

I wanted nothing more than to run my thumb over them, taste them and corrupt them with every sinful word that fell from my own.

“I-I, I think we should get back to studying” He directed his head back to the book. His stutter was back, I didn’t mind because I found it cute if Alessio had all of a sudden became nervous.

I agreed, grabbing the other book and reading the information that Alessio explained.

The entire hour he spent not looking up but only rephrasing the information in shorter terms making it easier for me to remember before we decided on a break.

Well it was a break for me, Alessio continued to study about Biology and Psychology and Anatomy.

I was growing wet just by watching him study.

I’ve always been into smart guys, I paid no mind to the ones like that guy in hall unless I needed a way to release my sexual frustration and vibrators weren’t enough.

I stared at him, watching how his fingers turned the page, or how he made notes in the tiny margins of the page he wanted to review.

How calm his state was, how concentrated his eyes were behind the clear frames. The feeling from early of day dreaming about him in a prayer lecture returned.

Who the hell knew watching someone study Biology could look so fucking good.

After he closed to book and we returned to speaking about the true definitions about Art.

Alessio offered to help me complete the project that was due in two weeks for my lecture.

The deal was only for a week but he wanted me to understand further even if one of us decided that this tutoring thing wouldn’t work.

I wasn’t planning to end the deal after a week, something in me was telling me he wasn’t either but he was having some type of debate in his head.

I’ve never been so focused on words until now, I mean can you blame me?

Five hours seemed to have passed when the first yawn came from lips as we closed up the first section of the thick textbook.

“I think you should read pages twenty and thirty two, they’ll help you with an idea for your project and have some of my favorite quotes there” he suggested, moving his glasses that had fallen slightly down due to his head being down.

He stood and went over to the door to open it for me as I packed the books.

“Are we meeting tomorrow as well?” I put the bag on my shoulder. Going over to the tall boy holding the door open like the sweetheart he is.

“Looking forward to seeing me again?” I liked teasing him, it always seemed to make him shy away.

“I’ll be here” I finally say before walking out.

we hit 100k !! thank you loves !!

I promise their parts together will get longer <3

chapt 7 • Madelyn & More Deals

It was already five minutes passed the time I was supposed to meet Alessio in the library.

I was caught up in the last lesson trying not to fall asleep. I miserably failed when the professor tapped on my desk and told me that I was asleep since the moment she opened her mouth.

“Good nap?” Diego says as I leave the class and I mentally groan not wanting to be reminded about how a much needed nap was taken during one of my lectures.

Another thing Father was going to call me about.

“I don’t have time for you Diego” I say, continuing to walk away from him but I hear his footsteps following behind me.

Diego sits besides me in my Art Lecture, he has the fattest ego I have ever seen. His pearly white teeth only made it even fatter, making him believe he was just irresistible.

“Excuse me for trying to have a conversation with a friend” he rushes to stand in front of me, stopping my tracks.

“Not friends” I give him a fake smile and he places a hand over his heart in fake heart.

“Have our fifteen minute talks in class meant nothing too you?“He looks away with his arms crossed as if I’ve hurt his feelings.

Diego was a jokester, he was attractive. Perfect almond brown eyes, clear dark skin and a smile that screamed that he was a flirt. Which he was.

“I’m forced too talk to you, either that or listen to a lecture that puts me too sleep faster than my pills” Diego only laughs.

“Doesn’t explain why you look about ready to shove everyone over in a rush to get to a library no one ever uses” That’s when Quinn, Charolette’s roommate who finally returned from her trip back home comes over.

“Just because you’ve never stepped foot into a library, doesn’t mean other’s haven’t Diego” Her Australian accent is thick.

Quinn was beyond beautiful, her button nose went well with her features. A birth mark on the left side of her cheek and a couple of small light brown freckles too go along with her clear brown skin.

“Shouldn’t you be dancing with kangaroos right now Quinn?” he makes her laugh then punch him on the side of his arm.

“You must think you’re just hilarious” She rolled her eyes.

“I’ve been told I should look into comedy” he pokes her button nose and she glares at him.

“Well whoever told you that obviously lied to spare your feelings” They both went off into a long standoff.

“I should get going, I’m meeting someone” I finally said, they waved me off and I continued to hurry to the library too meet Alessio.

I push open the doors, scanning my eyes around the room until they find Alessio’s tall figure looking down at someone’s much shorter one.

From here, the girl seems to be flirting with him. Twirling a piece of her brown hair between her fingers looking up to him. Alessio on the other hand, looks like he’d much rather get back to the book in his hand.

I approach them, I notice that his face is clear of blush and the flirting comments of the girl only seems to make her lightly touch his arm.

“I didn’t mean to come so late, forgive me?” I look up too him with innocent eyes, standing in front of the girl. I can feel her burning gaze shooting knifes behind my head.

Then it returns, the small blush that appears every time we make eye contact.

“It’s fine, I wasn’t waiting for long” He reassures but I know he only said that to be kind.

“Yeah, I kept him company” The girl behind me says, I finally turn to find her smiling at me.

“Madelyn DeBlue” she introduces herself, her fake smile is so obvious.

Didn’t ask.

Don’t care.

“Honey Rose” I return the smile back too her, and she looks me up and down before returning to opening her mouth.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, your eyes are just so pretty up close” she adds a small laugh at the end of her sentence.

“Thank you Madison, but Alessio and I have a project together that we should be working on right now so if you excuse us”-

“It’s Madeyln” she corrects.

“I said that, did I not” I furrow my eyebrows in fake confusion seeing how it’s tearing away her fake personality right now.

“When do you think you’ll be free? We were in a bit of a discussion before you so kindly interrupted” she looks up to Alessio.

“That would be hard to tell, this project is going to need his undivided attention. We simply don’t have time for unnecessary distractions “ Her lips gaped open in disbelief, I turn back to Alessio and look up at him.

“Ready?” He only nods and I place my hand around his forearm. “Is this okay?” his blush goes deeper and he nods again as if that’s the only form of communication he can make with me right now.

“Perfect then” We exit out of the library, leaving Madison there by herself.

The crowd of students is now gone and I walk us up the stairs into the bedroom quarters to my to room.

When we finally get there, I let go of his arm. His body was still against mine the entire time.

“Are you okay?” I ask but he avoids looking at me.

“Should we be in your room? I mean it’s just that the rules and that”-

I close my door and place my books on my desk, he just stands besides my bed.

I now stand in front of him. “Having a tutor is the only exception, besides” I watch his lips slowly part and I look down at them.

“I don’t bite” But I sure do want too, I can only stare at his lips for a few more seconds and the almost hear the beat of his heart through the white button up.

“Not unless you want me too” I tease and he looks like he’s about to fumble on his words.

“I’m joking Alessio” I shake my head knowing that I was far from kidding.

I sit on my bed and watch him sit at the chair and pick out which topics for us to study today.

Alessio’s figure was no doubt enough to make the room hot, his muscles were like a tease every time he moved the slightest bit, they flexed.

My own uniform began to become a restriction of air, I unbutton the first two buttons allowing myself room to breath. I kicked off my shoes and laid on my stomach with my legs crossed behind me, but away from my pillows.

He turned to find me admiring him and I didn’t turn away to deny it. I only let a smile rise upon my lips.

“I think we should talk about your last test score” He handed me a book about literature.

“What did you think about the book?” I looked at the other book we were told to read and write an entire paper on it.

“Boring, I couldn’t relate to the female character at all let alone write a paper about how we were similar” I explained and he handed me his paper with a perfect score on it and I looked at him with shock on my face but of course he got a perfect score.

“How did you”-

“The prompt was too write about something in the book you related too, not how you related to the character” he began and I sat up, already knowing that unbuttoning my top a little gave a small view of my tan skin and the tease of my breast but like the good boy Alessio was, he didn’t look down once.

“People read a book and find words and consider it boring. I read to find the deeper meaning behind the lines, behind the words and characters is like speaking directly to the author” I didn’t speak because I could only focus on his words.

“You’re focusing on trying to make a connection with the character which you can’t because the author understands no one’s life is as perfect as hers and that it’s impossible to relate to her. That’s the purpose of the book, we aren’t relating to the characters but the author.”

“Well now I see how you passed. Everything you say sounds like it was stripped from a poem” And it turns me on.

“Retake the test at the end of the week, find a chapter you like and tell me how you do” I sigh and agree but then a little idea finds it’s way in my head.

“Up for another deal?” I tilt my head slightly, Alessio only looks at me with a confused face.

“If I rewrite the paper and manage to get at least a C, you have to continue to be my tutor until I’m allowed off of probation” I lean forward.

“You’re on probation for this entire semester which means for four months” I nod my head.

“Precisely.”

“Deal, but you have to get a least a 90%, a C is too easy” He added to the deal. That meant that I would have to stay up tonight and reread the entire book up until Thursday.

“Fine then, but one more thing” I took the pen from his grasp and twisted the cap.

“This deal is only limited too us, you only tutor me and in return” I place my hands on either side of the arm rest, Alessio looks up to my eyes slowly. From my neck, a small glance too my lips making him lick his own before he meets my eyes and his cheeks burn a cherry red.

It was obvious I wasn’t the only one who had their eye out for the Headmaster’s son. But I was the lucky one to get him to agree to be my tutor. And I was planning to be the only one who got too see how far his innocence went.

“I let you choose what you want in return, Deal?” he only managed to let out a breathy “yes” and I smiled shortly after before I looked at the time.

“You should go back to your room and I should start working on living up too my end of the deal” I moved so he could get up, he didn’t look at me again and started to put his books into his bag.

“Tomorrow then, my room again?” He opened my door and paused. “We don’t have classes tomorrow, don’t worry. Half of the entire academy will be out at that dumb college party”

Without another glimpse of his golden brown eyes, my door was shut and I was left with a pool between my legs and an image of him that I would not be able to get out of my head.

I grabbed the book and began to flip the pages. Reading with the closed pen at the bottom of my lip, I used the tips Alessio gave to me when my eyes finally caught a line that made me stop.

This was going to be an interesting four months.

• I’m going to be torturing you guys into a slow burn.

• not edited!

chapt 8 • Deprived

To say I was sex-deprived was a total understatement. Sitting in the tub filled with strawberry-scented bubbles enclosing my body, I closed my eyes and let out a frustrated curse. Just the thought of a release made my nipples firm underneath the soap.

With my eyes shut and my head resting on the tiled wall behind me. I let my fingertips graze between my breast, down my toned stomach. Gently ran them over the tattoo on the side of my hip, imaging them as the same fingers Alessio uses to turn the pages in his books.

“Shit” I cursed to myself, remembering the way his lips parted yet no words spilled from them when I leaned close to him.

Trailing my hand further down my body, I only parted my thighs apart when a knock came on my door. Fucking hell.

I got out of the tub, wrapped a towel around my body, and drained the water down the drain.

I exited my bathroom, going to open my door. Silently hoping it wasn’t Adeline with another surprise room inspection.

My hair was wet and swept on the right side of my shoulder. I opened the door only to find Charolette standing there with her blonde hair braided down her back and two muffins in a white box with a pink bow on top of it.

She went to speak before she noticed that I was only in a towel, my neck, and body covered in droplets sliding into the towel around me.

Her pale skin turned a new shade of pink. “I didn’t know, I’m sorry. I just wanted to bring you some muffins I made during one of my lessons, only because I didn’t see you at breakfast and thought that you’d be hungry since you didn’t”-

“Charolette,” I said to stop her rambling, she finally noticed she was going on.

“Right” she held out the small box out to me, I took it and looked inside to see one large freshly baked blueberry muffin. “I hope you like them”

I thanked her and she smiled before her face dropped. “Were you busy?” Frustration was clear on my face that I hadn’t gotten the release I so desperately craved.

“A little bit, but it was nothing truly important” I lied, it was important but at the same time I had to remember that I was getting hot and bothered only at the thought of Alessio.

I watched her chew on her lip, something I learned she did whenever she was nervous or wanted to ask a question.

I noticed she was still a little shy around me, I’m still not sure why. “Do you want some?”

She looked at me with surprise written on her face. “I don’t think I’ll be able to finish this, come in” I didn’t want Charolette to be shy around me, she other than Quinn were the only two at the school who didn’t judge me from rumors they’ve heard.

She entered and sat on the edge of my bed. I closed the door, pulling at one side of the bow. The material became loose, allowing me to remove the top, and hand her the muffin.

She silently sat and ate her side muffin in peace. “You know, you never told me why you were sent here” Charolette finished chewing her bite.

“When Adeline got accepted to being the Headmaster’s assistant, our parents thought it would be a good opportunity for me to be more like her by studying here” she admitted, messing with the wrapper holding her muffin.

“Seems more like a punishment than an opportunity” I walked over to her, she held the muffin up for me to take.

I placed my hand gently over her’s and brought the treat up to my lips, taking a small bite out of the blueberry muffin. I watched her pupils dilate and her nervous demeanor return.

“Not bad,” I told her truthfully, and once again she began to chew on her bottom lip, putting the muffin gently in the box on her lap. I glide my fingers through my slightly wet hair, going over to my closet to find my uniform.

“I think I should let you get back to what you were doing” she suddenly said when I finished the last bite of the muffin. She stood up in a hurry, grabbing the empty muffin box and waving me off.

She was out my door before I could even thank her again for the muffin.

—

Though it’s been half a week, I still could not believe that Alessio was Carter’s son.

He was beyond attractive, I was sitting on my bed peering up at him every five seconds as he twirled the pen between his middle and index finger. Hot.

I was horny and not afraid to admit it, how could I not be?

Whenever he was stuck on something, he adjusted his glasses. When he finally solved it, his lips slightly pursed in a bit of relief. He wrote down so much, the veins in his hands became prominent, he only wore a single silver ring that never seemed to come off his middle finger.

He always had this concentrated expression on his face, his glasses always seemed to slightly fall to his nose a little and he would fix them and I could not help but find it so damn hot.

I poked my cheek with my pen, now wondering what he did in his free time besides reading or studying as he’s answered before.

Like the good student he was, he never took off the cross necklace. He hung around his neck, symbolizing that he studied and paid attention to his prayer lectures and attended them each morning.

As if he sensed my gaze, he peaked up. Through the clear lenses protecting those soft eyes.

“Is there something wrong? Something you don’t understand?” he spoke with a slight frown, the notes he had given me to help me understand the material for my upcoming test.

I looked down to the textbook in my hand, noticing that I’ve done nothing in the past thirty minutes but gawk and stare at him and draw a few clouds with smiley faces.

“Everyone but us is at some party and you’re here teaching me the formulas for Statistics, why?”

“I don’t like the overbearing noise and unnecessary company” he answers, finally solving yet another problem.

“Unnecessary company hm? Is that what I am to you?” I joke lightly but the worry that spreads across his face tells me that he hasn’t caught on.

“No of course not, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that parties aren’t my thing and I’d much rather not be crowded around wasted teenagers” he defends himself, his face turns red and he fixes his glasses.

I can only find the panic in his eyes, cute. I sit upright, pressing the pen to his lips to shut him up.

“I’m teasing you, I understand. I can’t stand drunk people either” The look of relief rewrites the panic in his eyes.

Now his eyes drop to the black pen pressed against his lips and I didn’t realize how I wanted my lips to be replaced with the pen, the slow way his eyes make their way back up to me only drove me crazy.

If it wasn’t for the white button-up blocking the view of his chest, I could probably see the rise in and the fall of his breathing.

From the corner of my eye, I could see him grip the armrest of my chair with a tight grip.

“Honey, I think we should.. get back to studying” If it was even possible, his voice seemed to only get deeper and hotter every time we met for our sessions, each vibrate of his voice went straight to my clit and it made me wet.

“Fine, but I’d much rather listen to you read it me instead” I sit back down, this time on the chair close to him. Both of us now sitting by my desk, his books in two short stacks for us to go over.

Every time my thigh brushed over his, he tensed slightly and seemed to touch the cross necklace with a brief clutch. I watched him explain the material again and apologized when he stuttered on one of his words.

When he began to go off and lose me in what he was saying, I called his name.

“Alessio,” I said his name but he kept reading his notes to me, “Alessio” I called once more but it was like he was trying to block out that I was the person sitting next to him.

I placed my hand on his forearm, an action that made him stop talking. He only stared at the notebook and deeply inhaled.

If only I could read his mind right now.

“You weren’t answering me, can you explain that one more time. Please” My voice comes out softly and I rest my elbow on the desk and pay close attention to the side notes he’s taken.

“I’m sorry, I can’t seem to concentrate” He admits, he stiffens again at the touch of my hand still on his forearm and I realize and move my hand back to my lap.

Though I still want to know the meaning of his loss of concentration.

“When are your results coming in? For your paper” he turns his head to look at me but when he realizes that I had already been looking at him, he focuses back on twirling the pen in his fingers.

“Tomorrow, they’ll be in tomorrow” I respond. Tomorrow seemed to have been coming slower than I would like it to, especially since I’m an impatient person.

“Then I think we should wait until then” he shuts his books and gathers his notebooks. Placing them in his bag in a hurry, I stand up when he does.

“Is there something wrong?”

“No, I just think it’ll be more appropriate for us to wait until I can actually be your tutor. I wouldn’t want either of us to be get in trouble for this” I can tell there is another reason but I can’t seem to find out what it was.

“At least take this” I handed him a small sticky note with my number on it.

“I’ll text you the results and you text me where and when to meet you” he placed it in his book, he glanced at me once more before shutting my door and leaving me standing there.

Hot, confused, and wet.

here’s an update for us hitting 200k & because updates have been slow!

chapt 9 • Results

The day had been going slower than usual, I went through long hours of lessons and prayer lectures. Studying in the dining hall while Quinn and Charolette spoke about their day.

I was waiting impatiently, almost begging to be requested to meet my Professor.

He had yet to give me the score for my rewritten paper, I tried to distract myself. From studying for my Mathematics test coming up, but I got through half of it but then I saw more “x’s” than numbers and I gave up entirely on that.

“I’m sure you’ll do great” Charolette said beside me, eating her cherry-flavored fruit cup.

I didn’t doubt that my grade would go up but I wasn’t too sure if I would hit the ninety percent mark, I mean I did use all of Alessio’s advice and looked over his notes. Rewrote the paper at least ten times because I kept getting stuck and hating every letter I wrote.

That and whatever grade I received, Carter would not hesitate to send it straight to father.

Who is still pretending that he didn’t send his daughter across the world to protect the image of his company and Grandma acting as if Hartford is God’s gift to children.

I hadn’t seen Carter since the last time I was in his office. Wherever he was I wanted him to stay there, and maybe never come back.

I excused myself from the dining hall, leaving Quinn and Charolette to continue to discuss their upcoming project together. While I was on the hunt for a certain glasses-wearing tutor who I haven’t seen since he left my room.

I wanted to stop by the library and ask him if everything was okay, he seemed even more flustered than usual. I couldn’t because he wasn’t there, I couldn’t send him a short text because he took my number and never gave me his.

My only luck of finding him was bumping into him, but instead, I only seemed to bump into Madelyn scolding the guy I had a quickie with when I ran into Adeline after.

I don’t remember his name and I didn’t want to speak to either of them.

I noticed from the corner of my eye that they shared the same hair color, but I kept walking until Madelyn saw me, unfortunately, and called my name. Her entire scolding demeanor switched and she put on a smile.

“Shit, I haven’t seen you in a while,” The guy said rubbing the back of his head. Madelyn looked at him and back at me but kept her smile.

“You two know each other?” The guy nodded and explained how we met on my third day here.

I was still trying to figure out if his name was Bryan or something with either an A or V.

“Well, I’m glad my stupid brother could be of help” He smirked recalling how much “help” he was with his hand wrapped in my hair.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I’d love to be of more help” he winked, and I just realized that I had sex with Madelyn’s brother because I couldn’t control my sexual urges.

Welp.

Almost as if she was trying to figure out what was going on, she opened her mouth.

“There’s this party, at the college across us. You should come” she invited and her brother perked up and agreed that I should go.

“I don’t like parties, and I also hate the idea of being near drunk college frat boys that take their shirt off just to pass out in their own barf. Not my type” I looked at the time, knowing it was time to meet my Professor.

“Thanks for the invitation” I could see the fake look in Madelyn’s eyes but she settled with a “maybe next time” and left but her brother stayed.

“Then what’s your type?” he came closer, almost to where my back hit the wall behind me. “Because I would love to explore our closet again, bring back some memories”

I rolled my eyes and they landed on Alessio, he walked out of a prayer lecture. The small praying book in his hand, almost on command his eyes met mine. Then they looked at the guy currently trying to get me to hook up with him again.

Dammit, I said to myself only because I began to think how he would look if I was on my knees in front of him doing everything but praying.

Alessio looked at me one last time before walking off. I tried to move and go after him but I was stopped. By an arm around my waist trapping me against him.

I couldn’t protest or kick him in the balls because out of fucking nowhere, Adeline Hayes walked up the stairs with her stupid fucking clipboard.

“This is against half of the regulations at Hartford, Headmaster’s office,” she said, writing our names down and I could almost see the enjoyment on her face.

I pushed the guy off of me and angrily made my way to Carter’s office, losing Alessio in my line of vision. Wanting to throw the “Headmaster” sign outside of Carter’s office at Adeline’s head as she walked away.

I opened the door, Carter sitting in his chair. A row of cross necklaces on the right of him, reminding me that I had forgotten mine. Knowing it would be yet another thing he would call father and Grandma for.

“Miss Rose, I would say good evening but it seems you’ve found yourself in trouble again” I closed the door, taking the middle seat directly in front of him.

“I would say welcome back, glad to have you back. But lying is a sin” I replied with a shoulder shrug, seeing a small tick in his jaw.

“You’d be happy to know I’ve been keeping track of your grades to avoid our last mishap” he opens the beige file.

“I’m jumping out of my seat right now” I respond in a sarcastic voice. Carter only seemed to keep his unimpressed facial expression, lips just in their usual thin line form.

Watching him look through some of my failed assignments and pull out the one paper I had been waiting to see all day.

“Surprising to see you’ve been focusing on your studies more” he hands me the paper, and I quickly look at the percent written in black ink.

Ninety-five percent, in a large circle at the corner of the paper. Now I was ready to jump out of my seat, I was even surprised myself. I mean I knew what I wrote was good but not ninety-five percent good.

“Care to tell me how you’ve managed to bring your percent up in as little as five days?” Carter closes the file and placed them in the desk cabinet that holds a lot more files.

“I have an exceptional tutor” I bite my lip, still looking at the score.

Thinking about Alessio, knowing that this meant he’d be tutoring me for the rest of the year and I’d be teasing him until he broke all of the self-control he’s been taught.

“That’s one exceptional tutor you have Miss Rose, you should thank them as they are the ones allowing you to finally strive this far” I put the paper in my bag and stood up.

“Trust me, Mr. Rivers. I’ll be sure to thank them” he finally rose his eyes from the file, as if he was trying to catch on to my tone but failed.

“I advise you to wear your necklace Miss Rose, you must do. It symbolizes your faith and your commitment to the religion being taught to guide you away from sin” I stand from my seat and grab the door handle.

“Is there something more important on your mind right now?” he senses that I’m ready to get the hell out of his office.

Yes, your son.

“I wouldn’t want to miss my praying time” I lie and he’s trying to figure out if I’m lying or not.

“Dismissed.”

—

I couldn’t find Alessio, I gave up after he wasn’t in the library or in the back room which was locked. So I went back to my room and pulled out one of the books filled with poems he let me take and read.

He has amazing taste.

I relaxed by taking a shower and doing my skincare routine. I was laying on my stomach, on the small circular chair by my window, with tea next to me to help me sleep after. Which had already grown cold because I kept turning the page without taking a single sip.

And there is was the famous knock. It seemed to be a certain made-up rule to knock on my door and random times, interrupting me when Alessio was on my mind.

I didn’t expect anyone, maybe Charolette or Quinn.

So I was comfortable with them seeing me in the really short cropped top, nipples pressing against the frantic and silk black shorts with a silk pink bow in the middle which showed my tanned thighs and legs. My hair was up in a comfortable ponytail.

Much to my surprise when I opened the door was to find two innocent brown eyes rising from the floor to me. As soon as they landed on me, my nipples grew harder underneath the shirt and I realized that I was basically naked in this outfit.

Alessio being the respectful person he was raised to me, would not let his eyes drop lower than my collarbone, but I wanted him to look at me. Scan my body with his eyes to see his reaction, see how he reacts to the fact my nipples are aching and he hasn’t even looked or touched them.

Yet.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t expect for you to answer” he shortly looked to the familiar book filled with poems inside, I saw the faint blush on his cheeks and what could have been a dimpled smile.

The sound of other students coming back to their room alerted him, afraid that someone would see us and report it even though he was the Headmaster’s son. Alessio Rivers wasn’t one to ignore or break the regulation.

“Would you like to come in?” I ask, slightly leaning on my door frame.

He glanced down the hall, hearing the voices grow closer, and looked back to my room. Debating which choice would be better, he then took a deep breath and entered.

I closed the door and leaned on the wooden door, seeing him hold onto his bag with one hand and look everywhere else but at me.

“I only wanted to stop by and apologize for leaving like that last time. I um, I didn’t want to be late for my prayer lecture and I started to take extra time lately” he admits, I push myself from the door.

Now in front of him, he finally looks down but he gulps air. Adam’s Apple bobbing slowly, the grip on his bag growing tighter. Please grab me like that, right now.

“Ninety-five percent” I randomly announce, I expect for his eyebrows to push together. For him to ask me what the hell that meant but judging by the way his chest slightly rises only to fall slowly. Alessio knew exactly what ninety-five percent meant.

“C-Can I see?” I go over to my bag sitting on the chair, take out the paper, and go back to handing it to him.

“Don’t believe me?” I’m closer to him this time. I could have sworn I saw his eyes flicker between my eyes and my lips, how I wanted those soft brown eyes to go further down but as the good boy, he was raised to be. They didn’t.

“I do, It’s just that I want to make sure. Before we continue with anything” He doesn’t seem surprised at the score, like he knew I could do it. He only looks at the paper knowing that our deal was finally set.

He hands me back the paper, the tattoo on my wrist catching his attention.

“I would show you the other ones but, I’d rather you find them yourself” I can see the light in his eyes slowly darkening, he cleared his throat.

He suddenly began to slightly tug at the collar of his uniform. I could almost be sure if I were to touch his skin it would be burning hot.

The light of the moon reflected through the window, allowing us to see each other better. Alessio said absolutely nothing, he only stood there. With parted lips while he tried to figure what words to say next.

I lowered my eyes to them, my body taking a step closer to wear my chest brushed against his shirt.

I sucked in my lower lip, thinking about how soft his would be against my own. How soft they would be on my skin which was now becoming fire under the cool air in the room.

Brown strands fall over his forehead, “I-I should get back, I-I don’t want to miss curfew” his cheeks tint a dark red, I control the urge to pull him closer by the waistband of his slacks.

“I would hate for you to be late, but that’s what makes it fun. That’s what makes this fun” I watch him switch his eyes between the both of mine.

“Don’t you think so? Don’t you think this is fun, Alessio?” I say his name at the end of the question and he looks like he’s going to stop by the prayer hall before he goes back to his room.

“I”— The sound of the curfew bell rang outside of my door, It rang past the one-minute mark. Which meant he missed curfew, I didn’t think too much of it but Alessio grabbed his bag.

“I need to go” he hurries out and I step back from him, giving him room to breathe because it seems I’ve stolen all the oxygen in his lungs.

“I’ll be waiting for your answer” I waved my fingers at him in goodbye, climbing on bed and I barely caught his eyes blink down at my outfit before he completely left in a hurry.

That same time I went back to the book of poems before the little ding of my phone distracted me.

Alessio -

Is meeting in the library okay with you? If not I’d be happy to meet wherever you prefer.

Even through text, he was so fucking sweet.

I responded with a yes, saving his number.

This is the beginning of something, intriguingly sinful.

• As a reader who hates but likes the tension in a slow burn. I love it equally as an author.

• How do you guys like the book so far?

chapt 10 • When He’s Ready

Since I was young, I was taught to have perfect manners. “Yes sirs” and “Yes ma’am’s”.

Taken to father’s business parties and being surrounded by church girls and women who judged me because of my mother.

Mother was beautiful, stunning. That was something no one could deny. I still wonder what made her marry someone like my father. And if she ever regretted it.

I received a letter from Grandma, telling me she was ready to rid any demons that may find their way into my room while I was away. As well as verses she tells me to repeat at night, in order to find my way closer to God and that if she found out I was skipping out on prayer lectures, she would come and visit.

I haven’t missed a single one since I received the letter.

I tossed the letter in the trash, not writing back to her or even acknowledging the box of ugly dresses and skirts she sent to me. Which hid in the far back of my closet still.

Since I was an only child, I was the only person to receive the torture of having Dahlia Rose as a grandmother. Though I wouldn’t wish her on anyone else. In her own way, Grandma was the devil herself.

I was walking through the lecture hall with Charolette beside me. Her books are close to her chest as she explained how excited she was about the sleepover she invited me to with her and Quinn.

As she was taking Carter entered through the two large wooden doors. A woman with blonde hair pinned like George Washington wearing an ankle-length dress which reminded me of the ones Grandma would wear to church.

“Who are they?” Charolette looked from her books to the three adults who had just come in.

“They’re a part of Hartford’s council. He’s the senior pastor and she’s a part of the elder’s” she quietly said, we stood by a wall watching Carter walk them around.

“And what are they doing here?” They both had wrinkles and seemed to intimidate Carter.

“They come to make sure we’re getting the right amount of guidance and being taught correct religious education” she elaborates.

I soon make eye contact with the woman, her eyes squint for a second.

She whispers something to the man next to her and all of a sudden all of their attention was on me.

From here I could feel her burn her eyes as she inspected my attire, judging the shortness of my skirt.

She tapped a pen on Carter’s shoulder and directed his attention, all of them not even acknowledging that Charolette is next to me.

I begged in my head for them not to approach us but of course, the sounds of their shoes tapping on the floor only came towards our direction.

Luckily I was wearing my cross necklace today, that was the first thing Carter looked at. The woman was focused on my eyes as if she was connecting dots in her head.

“Annalise, Daniel. This is Honey Rose and Charolette Hayes” Carter introduced, Charolette giving them both a short bow and a greeting.

The woman not even paying attention to her only just looking at me with her thin eyebrows pushed together as she tries to connect the dots in her head.

“I can’t tell the two of you apart” The woman named Annalise lets her finger rest on her chin while she continues to inspect me.

“DNA is a beautiful thing” She isn’t taken back by my response, she only lets out a pleased hum.

“I do hope to get the opportunity to sit and speak to you, Honey. I can tell you first hand that I truly did and still hold Eleanor dear to my heart.”

Lies.

“If that were true you would know mother liked to be called Ellie. She disliked being called her mother’s middle name” I could see Carter’s jaw slightly tick, knowing I would be in his office yet again.

“Did she also dislike following regulations? Attending lectures set out to better her future? Causing not only the council problems but getting her own mother’s commitment to faith being put into question?” She went on, trying to prove that mother was nothing more than a trouble maker.

The man next to her was quiet, he didn’t seem to know a thing about my mother, but the woman seemed to know every detail of half a story that I’m missing.

“Poor guidance will lead to that. Maybe neither of you were fit for the job” I could see a vein becoming visible on the side of her head.

I wasn’t one to disrespect authority, but I couldn’t stand it when people would lie about caring for my mother. Only to be the same people who were a part of the problem.

“Your rudeness towards a council member will not go unnoticed, Dahlia’s granddaughter or not. This type of behavior will not be tolerated” Annalise walks away and Carter and the man follow close behind her.

—

“Can I see your paper? If you’re done of course” I had almost forgotten the paper I had been working on for Anatomy. Too busy remembering what happened earlier today.

I handed him the paper where I was to name the entire human body system and its functions.

“Are you okay? You just seem quieter than usual” The paper had only four red slashes through the parts I got wrong.

I began to erase the incorrect answers and try again.

I decided that we should meet earlier today, I didn’t have any more lectures and he had already finished his prayer lectures for today.

“Are you implying that I talk too much?” I looked up from the paper to him, purposely adding a bit of offense in my voice.

“N-No, I just mean you’ve rarely said anything to me, you’d tease me as you call it and you haven’t” He’s not wrong, I’ve been quiet since we met in the library. Now we were in the backroom and I only thanked him for lending me his pen.

“I’m starting to think you like when I tease you” I move the small cushion off my lap with my textbook on top of it.

He went silent and I took it as an answer. Alessio stood up and went to one of the bookshelves in the room, allowing me to figure what I had done wrong.

After a few minutes of erasing and doubting myself, I finally got up to go ask him. I slip between the space of the bookshelf and his body, paper in hand and I stare up at him.

“I need your help” He stops searching for books and jerks his head down at me.

“I get confused on these two areas” I show him. “Can you show me where they are?” he goes to point to the image that didn’t help me the first time.

“Alessio” I call making him look at me now, “Can you show me where they are, on me?” he doesn’t expect my next words, he looks as if I asked him to strip me bare himself.

“Only if you’re okay with it. It would just help me better identify where they are since they’re so close to each other” I peer up to him. He doesn’t seem to hesitate to slowly raise his hand from his side.

His index finger presses on a small part of my upper waist close to my back.

“I-Is this okay?“I shake my head, yes, wanting him to keep going.

“The Serratus Anterior is right here” His eyes never leave mine, and mine never leave his. I then feel his palm lying flat on the middle of my waist.

“Your entire oblique is here” The heat from his hand was enough to send waves down my spine, my mind racing and my body reacting.

He keeps his hand there, lingering it. My back touches the bookshelf against the wall. I ignore the uncomfortable feeling of the shelf slightly digging into my lower back. Only concentrating on his lips.

His hand then leaves the side of my rib, going up to my shoulder. I then place my hand over his, placing it where my neck barely meets the jaw. His thumb resting on my cheek.

His head is a bit lower now, the space between our lips slowly coming to a close when he closes his eyes.

I do the same excepting to fall into a kiss, but then his hand leaves mine and the heat I felt from his body disappears.

I open my eyes, I see him back away. He began to grow frantic. Running a hand through his hair before whispering something under his breath.

“I shouldn’t have done that” He begins to panic, heavily breathing as if we’ve just killed someone.

“Alessio it’s fine”-

“No it’s not fine” he snaps a little harder, stepping closer to me. “This is all so new to me”

I try to fit all the pieces together, we were just going to kiss. Oh.

Oh.

Then my suspicions came back to me all at once, what I have been thinking to myself but never wanting to assume fully.

What he meant by this was me, I was new to him.

Alessio Rivers has never been kissed before.

Those perfect lips that prayed every night before he went to sleep, lips that had never said a curse word or would even part to say anything sinful. Everything about him was innocent, which only intrigued me further.

I pull him by his tie, bringing him closer to my face. Feeling his uneven breaths fan across my lips slightly while my own curved into a smile.

I wanted to see how deep his innocence ran, how far it could go before he finally broke and forgot all the faithful scriptures he was born hearing.

I wasn’t going to kiss him, it was clear that he wasn’t ready and I wasn’t going to take his first kiss like this.

Besides, I wanted to hear him ask me. I wanted him to ask me to kiss him, to transfer my sins onto his lips and taint them over and over again until my lips were pure.

“I don’t mind, I now have something to tutor you in. Only if you ask me, I’ll be happy to teach you. Think of it almost like a payment, who better to teach you all about the sins of the world than one who’s sinned the most” His glasses slightly slide to the bridge of his nose, from how long he’s been looking down at me.

“It’s only an offer, something for you to think about” I added.

There was no telling if he was going to even agree to it but if he did, it was going to be one hell of a ride farther and farther from a sinless life.

I let go of his tie, straightening for him. It was fucking taking everything out of me not to run my hand down his shirt, resisting and fighting the impulse telling me to.

If he didn’t give in to me soon, I was probably going to die from it. These past days have felt like I’m being over-stimulated, close to the climax only for some heartless bitch to take it away from me.

“Shall we?” I pick up the textbook next to his bible, knowing he’s going to be needing it tonight.

I know a lot of you have been asking for Alessio’s POV. I promise it’s coming, in a few chapters!

chapt 11 • Tempting Sleepover’s

Since word got out that to Grandma that I disrespected Annalise from the academy’s council, she’s called my phone over fifty times starting from the time I left Alessio, yesterday.

She wouldn’t stop leaving me voicemails, so I blocked her number and if she’d ask. I’d simply pretend that I thought she was a scammer or that I was far too busy to pick up.

I’ve been trying to avoid any contact with Carter, not wanting to be summoned to his office to discuss anything that had to do with Annalise or the academy’s council.

I open the door to my room, a beige note on the floor catches my attention. I pick up the note, looking for a name but coming up dry and only finding a room number and the words “dress cute but comfy” written in sparkly red pen.

I quickly text Charolette, sending her the note and asking if she received one as well. She explained that it was from Madelyn and that she was inviting us to one of her yearly sleepovers, she did this every year but this was the first that Charolette was invited to.

Knowing my recent encounters with Madelyn, I was questioning why she was inviting me but pushed the questions away when Charolette said she wanted to attend.

I crumbled the note and threw it away, changing from the uniform into a satin nightdress, leaving my hair in its wavy state.

I knock on Charolette’s room, she soon answers the door. Dressed in a light blue nightgown, with small white ruffles around the wrist area matching the fluffy white headband pushing her blonde hair away from her face.

She went to speak but looked at my attire, Charolette’s entire neck and cheeks deeply flushed.

“Ready?” her voice quietly went a pitch higher. I followed her as soon as she closed the door to her room, walking father down the hall to Madelyn’s room.

On the way there Charolette informed me that Madelyn’s father was a part of the council, it allowed both her and her brother to act freely with little consequences because they were always covered up the next day.

Charolette knocked on the door, her hands clasped together in front of her while she looked down at her slippers.

“We don’t have to stay for long, just tell me when you want to leave,” I told her, trying to calm her nerves. Charolette didn’t like being around people for a long period of time before she began to fall into a sort of shell where she grew quiet and too scared to tell anyone.

“Thank you,” she said at the same time Madelyn opened the door.

“Glad you decided on coming” Her hair was in a ponytail, another girl only this one being a redhead leaned against the door frame with a red lollipop in her mouth.

“There wasn’t an option to say no” The girl beside her tries to hold her smile but fails.

Madelyn doesn’t respond when she moves out of the way to let us in. I can’t help but feel there’s something more to this invitation, but I ignore it for now.

There were pillows thrown around in a circle, different sweets and candies in the middle. Charolette and I sat on the ones matching the color of our outfits. I reached for a candy when the girl with the lollipop spoke.

“That’s hot” she pointed her lollipop at the tattoo on my wrist. “Got any more?”

“Two more” She rose her eyebrows slightly, placing the candy back in her mouth, almost intrigued. She lifted her night blue camisole a bit, revealing the blooming flower on the side of her hip.

“My favorite one, I have one more on my ankle and another one… well you can figure that out” she gave a peek of the ink that was between her breast before standing up.

I bit a part of my lip, feeling warmth wash over my body and heat crawling up my chest.

I looked over at Charolette, but she seemed almost stuck as if she had been paused with a remote. She blinked a few times before rubbing her palms down her dress.

Before I got to ask if she was okay, Madelyn and the four other girls sat on their chosen pillows.

“We couldn’t decide whether we should watch movies or do something else, but I think we should do something.. exciting” she placed popcorn in her mouth, the girl next to her only smiled down knowingly. Charolette and I were the only ones who were left in the dark.

“And that is?” Madelyn pulled out a single card, a king card used in casinos and gambling games.

“It’s easy, place the card on your lips and pass it. If you drop it, then you kiss the person who was next. Got it?” I didn’t think Madelyn to be the type to want to play a game like this, maybe in a room filled with college football guys but not us.

After everyone said that they were in, I asked Charolette and told her it was fine if she was uncomfortable but she assured me she wasn’t.

Madelyn sucked it to her lips. Turning to the girl beside her, who puckered out her lips ready to play.

She passed it safely around with a smile on her face, “I’ve played this way too many times to lose”

They continued to go around the circle until it came to me and the girl beside me, her eyes widened a bit when she noticed how close she was to me. When she realized she was close to dropping it, I took the card with my lips and turned to Astra, the girl with the hip tattoos.

I leaned over to her, pressing the card that was separating our lips to hers. We lingered there for a second longer, staring into each other’s eyes as they darkened.

Being a nymphomaniac isn’t the only reason why grandma would much rather have Goldilocks as her granddaughter, she couldn’t stand the fact that I explored my sexuality at a young age only to catch me in my room with one of the church girls.

“We’re waiting,” Madelyn said behind us, Astra finally took the card and faced a shy Charolette.

Charolette looked at her, then down at the card waiting at Astra’s lips. Charolette began to flush, deep red until the pigmentation of her cheeks matched an apple.

She licked her lips seeing that Astra was leaning closer so she could take the card. She had taken too long to take the card from Astra’s lips, the card fell in slow motion.

“Oops” Astra kept her smirk, not bothered that she lost the game. Charolette clutched firmly on her dress, almost as if she was having an inside battle with herself to process all of it.

“I guess that means we lost” She begins to get on her hands and knees, so close to Charolette, I felt that she might pass out but judging by the way Charolette’s eyes wouldn’t move off her lips, it was clear to me.

Charolette Hayes was attracted to women, and there was no doubt she wanted that kiss.

The slower Astra’s lips came closer to Charolette’s only made her grow impatient.

Charolette took the lead and pressed her lips firmly on Astra’s causing me to bite my lip, Astra smiled two seconds into the kiss. Placing her hand in her hip only drew her in closer.

When they pulled away, Charolette took in deep breaths.

“I wouldn’t mind playing this again, but just us next time, minus the card,” she says, Charolette blushing down at the floor.

My phone dings, an unexpected message catches my attention.

Alessio -

Can you meet me somewhere, please?“

I tell Charlotte that I have to go, she decides to stay a little longer and I know it’s because of Astra. I pass through the halls, making my way over to the lecture building. Up the stairs to the library, seeing most of the lights off except the small ones in each book section.

I walk to the far back of the room, the backroom door opened only for a small view of the lights on and stuff being shuffled around.

The cream of the door alerted Alessio that I was here, I stepped inside and shut the door behind me. Remembering what occurred yesterday.

I began to regret not stopping by my room to take a jacket or something to cover my bare arms and legs as the cool breeze of the open window hit them harshly.

“Alessio”—

“I can’t stop thinking about it, I’ve tried everything to distract myself but I can’t” he’s not facing me, he only faces the painted canvas in front of him.

The paint was fresh, two other canvases that were blank yesterday were fully covered in paint today. One was a picture of the midnight sky and the other was of the stages of a sunset.

“Thinking about what” I stepped closer, he could feel my steps grow close as his back tensed. He finally turned to face me, almost like he was having a battle within himself, contemplating whether his next words would do him good or bad.

He then took a short glance at the wind faintly blowing my nightgown which reached where my knees began, how the cold air only made my nipples hard against the thin material, and quickly snapped his eyes back up to mine.

“I can’t stop thinking about you, your eyes torture me when you look at me like t-that” This time it was my chest that began to rise, I wanted my lips to explore his skin, over his sharp jawline down to his collarbone and further.

“What do you want Alessio?” At my height, I reach his shoulder, I lean up a bit further. “You can tell me what you want, can’t you?”

“I w-want you to teach me how to s-sin” The final words fell from his lips, there were no more words being spoken, only the sound of the wind coming through the open window and hitting the trees outside.

I wanted this, I want this, and I needed to know that he wants this.

“Are you sure? Because once we start, there’s no going back” I was going to turn Carter’s son into a sinner if he ever found out he would do more than expel me from the academy. Grandma might do more than send me across the world, father would probably hide that he even had a daughter in the first place.

“I need to know that you want this” My body was impatient, my mind was fighting to bring it to peace but it was losing miserably.

“I-I want this” I barely noticed that he was standing in front of a couch, I pushed him down, arms braces next to him and legs parted almost inviting me in.

I placed both of my thighs on either side of his, not sitting down completely. The short nightgown slowly moved up my thighs.

“Double-tap my thigh whenever you’re uncomfortable” I lifted his chin, he stiffened underneath me. I sat down fully on his lap, I felt every bit of my self-control slipping away little by little.

I dipped my head down to his neck, hovering my lips above his skin. Waiting to see if he would give the signal if he was uncomfortable but Alessio only clenched his fist to his sides.

I placed my lips at his neck, slowly pecking and dragging them down against his pulse. My body began to grow a mind of its own when my hips rolled down on him, that’s when I heard it.

The sound I have been almost dying to hear, the sound the made me throb. A deep yet sultry sound came from his lips when I rolled my hips the second time.

The single sound fully soaked my underwear, I did it a third time. This time kissing along his jaw, I watched his eyes squeeze shut behind his glasses and his hips unconsciously trust up.

“Alessio” I was now running a hand through his hair, the perfect friction of his slacks against the skimpy material of my underwear. Heavy breaths came from his lips, he tried to control them by biting his bottom lip but failed.

I shut my eyes and continued to move my hips, immediately stopping when he tapped my thigh twice.

“I-I’m sorry, I just felt.. I couldn’t” he got tangled up in his words. I felt him throb underneath me and that’s when I fully felt him.

“Fuck” I felt him throb, even more, I literally fucking felt him.. and I can tell you first fucking hand that he was big.

“I’m sorry if I ruined it” I shook my head, taking his jaw with my hand.

“Trust me, you didn’t ruin a thing” Only my panties and my ability to go to sleep tonight.

“Alessio, have you ever touched yourself?” He burned a deep red, looking away. Almost embarrassed to answer the question.

“N-No, never” he responded, looking at the set of brushes lined up neatly on the wall. Lord have mercy.

There had to be a lot more that he didn’t know about and I was willingly to teach him. I turn his chin back to me.

“Besides, I wouldn’t know h-how” He only gets hotter, and it only makes me hornier.

If I’m ever going to fall asleep tonight, I’m going to need my pink friend.

“Then we start there and work our way up” I get off of him, fixing my dress. “Is tomorrow okay?”

“Not here, there’s going to be a council meeting here. I-Is my room okay?” He got up, fixing himself.

“Perfect, just perfect.”

Something told me both of us were going to have trouble finding sleep.

• I love the idea of this chapter, hate the way I wrote it.

• Bare with me and these updates, I know they’re slow but it’s hard for me to sit and write at times I promise I’m trying 🤍!

chapt 12 • The Lesson’s Begin

The slower time went, the more impatient I began to grow. Distracting myself, tapping my pencil against my desk, or trying to focus on the words coming from the Professor’s mouth but nothing seemed to dismiss my aching need.

I kept trying to decide what to start with first, concluding that I needed to figure out what he was comfortable and uncomfortable with.

It was clear that he enjoyed slow and almost painfully teasing neck kisses, judging from the sound he made yesterday. The same addiction sound that has been replaying in my head all day since I heard it.

Father called this morning, explaining how he was disappointed in me. How he expected more, though he didn’t call to congratulate me when passing my recent papers. Father didn’t notice when I actually tried for something, it’s as if they both waited for me to mess something up before calling to talk my head off on the phone.

I still ignored the billions of voicemails Grandma left me, silently begging she wouldn’t catch the first flight here.

The words of dismissal left the Professors mouth, I was out of my seat with my bag on my shoulder.

Charolette waved at me, walking straight towards me almost in a hurry.

“Can we keep the sleepover between us, please? If Adeline found out she wouldn’t hesitate to tell our parents..” she kept her hands in front of her, chewing the side of her lip as she imagined what would happen if her parents found out.

“Between us” I assure, not even dreaming of speaking to Adeline even if I was forced to.

Charolette let out a breath as if she had been keeping it in this entire time, “I went looking for you a little after you left. But I couldn’t find you and I guess you weren’t in your room”

“I went to help someone, it took a while so I returned to my room late,” I told her, not wanting to lie to Charolette but I did make the promise to Alessio that I would keep this entire deal we had only to ourselves.

“I’m hanging out with Astra tonight, so if you need anything text me” she blushed just by mentioning Astra’s name before I let her take off.

—

After my lecture, I went back to my room to shower and change. A little after, Alessio asked me to meet him in his room and to let myself in because he was doing something.

When I got there, I walked further into the room to get a glimpse of who he was. Being the Headmaster’s son, Alessio had many privileges, his room was larger than anyone else’s in the school.

Paintings and poems written on old pieces of paper were hung along the wall, dozens of books were neatly stacked and some on a bookshelf near the large window with a black curtain going along with the dark gray comforter and gray pillowcases to match the aura of his room.

I walked over to the window, pushing open the curtains and letting my jaw drop to the floor at the sight of a small jacuzzi outside and the perfect view of the back of the academy away from everyone’s line of vision.

I heard a door open and shut, I turned to find Alessio standing there with a white towel around his neck. Instead of his usual uniform shirt, he was in black sweats and a matching long sleeve black shirt.

The shirt was perfect to show off his strong arms that could make anyone wet. His brown hair was drenched in water over his face, each drop hit his glasses which were now fogging up and the steam of the bathroom followed him out of the room.

Fuck me, please.

“Did I keep you waiting long?” I only managed to shake my head, still gawking over the sight in front of me.

Pull yourself together Honey dammit.

He placed the towel on the chair beside him. I shut the curtains behind me even though there was an incredibly low chance of anyone seeing us since his room was facing the back of the academy, but I still wanted to be sure.

He was now sitting on his bed, hands braced on his knees as he grew a bit anxious. I approached him, the scent of his body wash surrounding us as the water continued to fall from his hair.

“Relax, We’re going slow” His hands fall to the side of him, I step in between his parted legs.

“Remember, double-tap my thigh” I lean down to the shell of his ear, I take his hands and let his fingers run up my thighs until I place them at my hips.

I begin to kiss my way down, from his ear to his neck hearing each hitch of breath he takes.

“I’m going to introduce you to the world of pleasure, “ As the words left my mouth, his grip on my hips grew firm. I rolled them into him, he clutched the material of my skirt.

“It starts with finding out what turns you on” I placed slow and tortuous kisses along his neck, running my hand up the nape of his neck. Up into his hair and gently pulling at the wet brown strands only for him to release a groan.

“Good?” I ask, placing myself on his lap, wanting to feel how my touch and words affected him.

“So…good” his voice came out strained when I pushed my hips down. I felt along his strong arms, using them to hold myself as I rolled my hips.

“H-Honey” Alessio moved his head to the side, allowing me better access to his neck. I let my lips run along his collarbone, before slightly sucking on the exposed skin which made him push his hips up.

“Keep doing that” I instructed when he pushed his hips to meet mine yet again. “Do you like it when I do that?” I gently sucked on the skin close to the base of his neck, making sure not to leave a mark.

“Yes..” He trailed off a bit, his heavy breaths turned into desperate pants. I felt my clit pulse the more his hardness pressed into me.

I look up at the cross necklace hanging on the wall beside his bed. God was shaking his head at me but I kept going, wouldn’t be the first time.

Save me a seat in hell.

He opens his eyes, his cheeks paint themselves red and his brown eyes stare down at my lips. I lean my forehead against his, keeping my slow pace. A burning feeling ran through my veins, my mind was flooding with the urge to please myself.

Alessio began to raise his hips, and throb from beneath me, and the look on his face was telling me if I didn’t stop, he was going to climax.

I stopped even though he didn’t tap my thigh. My forehead is still against his, heavy pants being traded between us. I still feel how painfully hard he is underneath me and it only makes me realize that my underwear is probably completely ruined.

No matter how bad I wanted to kiss him, I kept telling myself that he wasn’t ready and that we were taking this step by step.

I got up before I got carried away, “Is something wrong?” I glanced down at the tent in his sweatpants that made me want to fall on my knees and take care of it for him.

“Far from it” I replied, my voice laced with absolute lust and no doubt my eyes the same.

“I’m almost certain that you’ve never once watched porn, correct?” the instant blush on his face had given me my answer, I took my laptop out of my bag.

“Well then, you have some homework tonight” I hand him my laptop, his face flushing when he sees what’s awaiting him.

It was clear Alessio never once tried to watch or even think to search up porn.

I could only imagine how hot it would be to see Alessio trying to make himself cum, his hand wrapped around himself and those sexy moans slipping from his mouth and what his face would look like as he came—

Control yourself, Honey.

“If you don’t want to watch it, you don’t have to. I’ll just leave it here if you do decide to, if not you can return it to me tomorrow” I sit the laptop on the space next to him.

“But if you want to fix your big problem, I suggest you take a cold shower” he looks at me blankly, not understanding. I point his attention down to the raging hard in his sweats and his eyes slightly widen and his face grows red.

I caught him looking at my wrist, directly focused on the tattoo there. “I’d show you the rest but I’d much rather you find them yourself, another time of course”

He got up and grabbed his towel again, “Your room tomorrow?” I agreed, it was easy sneaking around Hartford, their cameras didn’t work and one person supervised the halls, most of the adults were in meetings twenty-four seven.

Whether he would watch the videos or not was up to him, he eyed the laptop carefully telling me that he was considering it.

I leave his room and return to mine, my phone screen blaring on and off with Father’s number.

I debate on picking up but in the end, I do, “Twice in a day, you must truly miss me”

“Honey, this is not a joke, do you understand how hard it was for me to convince the council to allow you to continue your studies there?” Father scolds through the phone.

“You should’ve let them kick me out, you’d be doing us all a favor” I kicked off my shoes, falling back on my bed.

“Your Grandmother will be visiting you tomorrow” I sit up almost too quickly when he announces Grandma’s visit.

“I don’t care for what you have to say about it, we aren’t arguing over this. Goodbye Honey” And with that he hangs up the phone, only to call me again when I do something wrong.

Goodnight to you too Father.

Thank you for 400k reads loves! 💗

• not edited -

chapt 13 • Let Me Help

I was dreading her arrival.

I was waiting outside when the black limo made its stop in front of the academy. The driver coming around the right to open the door, Grandma’s long dress stood out first before she stepped out of the vehicle entirely.

Grandma as always carried her bible and her gray hair was pinned up behind her head. Her expression of the academy changed when she saw me standing on the steps, her first objective was to judge my short plaid skirt and black cropped shirt.

“Haven’t you seen the clothes I’ve sent you? You’re practically naked right now” Is the first thing she says when she approaches me, Grandma eyeing my entire body carefully.

“They must’ve gotten lost in the mail or hopefully somewhere in the ocean” Her face holds a scowl, we enter the main building, Grandma complimenting the bible scriptures on the walls.

“Annalise is a good friend of mine, I just don’t understand your disrespect for adults Honey. I truly believe it was you acting out for attention, so I’ve set up a meeting for you to apologize” Grandma stops walking, I scoff at her words.

Acting out for attention.

“Disrespect? If anything, she should be sending me an apology. I understand she’s in a higher power but that doesn’t give her the right to bash mother with every chance she gets.”

Grandma would never take my side on this, even if Annalise had magically stabbed me with a knife. Grandma would only allow the blame to fall on me, her reaction only proves my point.

“When are you going to realize she doesn’t concern you anymore?” I feel myself grow angry at the woman standing in front of me, brushing off her daughter and granddaughter as some curse that was set upon her.

“She’s my mother, she will always concern me. I understand why she was the she was because she had to put up with a shitty mother” Grandma’s mouth falls open, her face begins to grow red with anger.

“You will not speak to me like that Honey! You need to grow up, what happened to her had nothing to do with me. She decided to ruin her life and now she’s ruining yours” I couldn’t even look at her, how could she be so inconsiderate?

“Everything I’ve ever done was to give her a good life, she never once thanked me even when I forgave her for bearing a child before marriage”

“I’ll be visiting monthly now, to make sure you aren’t fooling around” I don’t say anything back, I let her inspect the art on the wall further. Not wanting to speak to her more than I half to.

“Lucky me” I cross my arms and follow her.

For the rest of the time, Grandma only spoke about how she adored the studies at the Academy, and I was right behind her. Begging and begging this visit would end soon.

—

After my wishes came true, Grandma entered the limo and drove off. I felt free yet again, the only downside was that she’d be back in a month.

I went back into my room, opening my closet and pushing past the outfits until I reached a large box, moving all the ugly dresses Grandma sent. I found my collection of books filled with everything that could make even the devil blush.

I look at the time and notice I only have a couple of minutes before he arrives. I take a chance and shower, wanting to forget about Grandma’s useless visit.

In the middle of turning off the water, a knock came on my door. I picked up my phone and looked at the time, I was there longer than I thought.

I grabbed the white towel and dried my body, quickly moisturizing my skin, hurrying to the door.

Leaving my hair wet, I went to open the door. Standing tall at the door frame was Alessio Rivers, a bag over his shoulder and my laptop safely in his grasp.

He finally met my eyes and realized that I was in a pink towel, he cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were busy”—

“Come in, just give me a few seconds to change” I let him in, allowing him to sit on my bed.

I quickly grabbed my soft gray pajama shorts with pink hearts decorating them and a matching gray camisole. I shut the bathroom door, dropping the towel to the floor and changing.

When I exited the bathroom, I put the towel in the hamper beside the door. I found him looking over to the stack of books I’ve chosen for him to read.

“I realized that reading is more of your thing, so I found some really good books I’ve already read for you to read. Why watch porn when you can just read it?” I go over and pick two steamy ones out and hand them to him.

These books would probably kill him, every time I’ve read them they’ve made my entire body hot.

He turned the book to read the description in the back, when his eyes slightly widened, I knew I picked out the perfect books.

“Here, I read one and you read the other. Alright?” I took one of the books from his hand, leaving him with my favorite one.

“I think you’d like this one more” I went to sit on the chair near my desk, opening my book.

I would often peek up at him to see him turn a page, Alessio’s eyes never left the pages once. A cherry-like blush crept its way to his face, his lips opened a little bit before he closed it, finally noticing that his mouth was open.

I let him continue to read for another thirty minutes, but I hadn’t read a single word since I opened the book. I was too busy watching his innocent eyes read such dirty words.

I shut my book, moving in front of him. I used my index finger to lift his chin and admire his freckled, flushed face.

“It’s a little hot in here, let me help” I unbuttoned the first three buttons of his shirt, showing the silver chain around his neck “Better?”

He sat up a little bit more with a nod, fixing his posture and that’s when I slowly glanced down at the hard-on in his slacks, he had to be uncomfortable from the restriction of pants.

“My favorite part of the book is..“I run my hand up to his thigh barely touching the side of his groin.

“When she slowly undresses herself and doesn’t let him touch only watch as she touches herself and moans his name” I play with the collar of his shirt before going back to place my hand on his thigh.

“Or when she doesn’t touch him until he begs her too” His hands fall to his sides.

“Is that what you want? Do you want me to touch you, Alessio? I need you to use your words or I won’t know what you want” He gulps, biting his lower lip as my hand only slowly creeps its way close to his covered dick before moving away back to his thigh.

“Honey.. please.. Can you touch me?” I almost moan just by the desperation in his voice, I begin to unbuckle his belt running my hand over his bulge before taking him out of his slacks.

I sucked in a harsh breath, he was big. So fucking big and perfect. “I-Is this alright?” I switched my eyes to him, almost like he wanted to hide himself away because I had been staring for far too long. 

The sight of his pre-cum waiting at the tip of his dick makes me bite my lip, Holy shit.

“It’s perfect, so damn perfect” Alessio relaxed a little bit but that didn’t stop him from blushing harder.

“I wonder, would you like it if I ran my tongue along here?” I use my index finger to run up the base of his dick, Alessio letting his mouth fall open with a nod.

“Or if I were to take you all the way down my throat?” I squeeze the head of his dick, making him release a moan that could make anyone wet or pass out.

He followed my gaze when I got down on my knees, the strap of my flimsy shirt sliding down my shoulder, causing him to take a peek at my boobs. I pushed out my breast, even more, causing his entire face to go red.

“Do you fantasize about them? How soft they would feel in your hand, massaging them? Or having them wrapped around your dick while I look at you with such innocent eyes until you cum?” stroking him with an occasional twist of my hand.

“Or how good they’d look in your mouth?” I wanted… no, I needed to touch myself but this was about him.

“Oh my..” I watched his chest heave up and down, my nipples pushed against the fabric of my thin shirt.

“I bet you would love to feel my lips around you, sucking and letting my tongue tease over your tip. The feeling of wanting to cum over my tits or deep down my throat, I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you, love?” He quickly nods his head and I don’t think he’s realized he’s admitted to it.

This is way too fucking hot.

“You’re so hard Alessio, you’re doing so good for me right now” his hips bucked up, his muscles bulged in his shirt allowing me to make a mental note that he liked to be praised.

“Honey… I’m— I-I.. oh please keep going” His words became a complete mess as he grew closer, he throbbed in my hand. I wasn’t planning on stopping.

“Cum for me Alessio, let me make you feel good” I sped up the pace of my hand, making sure to run my thumb over the tip before using his pre-cum as lubricant to squeeze the base of him.

Alessio went to bite down on his lip but I tapped his thigh making him stop his actions. “I want to hear you, cum in my hand” he never looked away, even when I thought he would, he didn’t.

With each twist of my hand, I knew only one thing would set him off completely.

Almost as if he knew something was coming, my eyes shined with a devious glint.

I placed a short kiss to the tip of him setting him off, making him bundle my sheet with a grip that made his veins pop. I placed another one on the base of his dick, the second kiss making him lean his head back on his shoulders and his thighs tense on either side of me.

I was pressing my thighs together almost painfully to where my knees dug into the wooden floor watching him unravel in my hand.

The pain was worth the sight.

His brown hair was now slightly wet due to sweat, sticking to his forehead and glasses slipping from their original position. The few buttons open from his shirt further showed a few sweat droplets running down the shirt I so desperately wanted to remove and see the rest of him.

When he calmed down, he said nothing. I got up from the floor and wiped my hand on a small hand towel and disposed of it in the hamper before going over to him and leaning towards his ear.

“Maybe next time, I’ll let you fuck my mouth” I pressed my lips on a spot a little below his ear, feeling his hands clutch the sheets again.

“I-I can’t handle it when you say things like that” he admitted as I fixed his shirt for him.

“Why do you think I say them?” Our faces were close, one more inch, and our lips would have touched, he stared deeply at my lips, making me smile.

“Because I know how hard it makes you” I let him fix himself and his belt. I pick up the books that had fallen to the floor.

“Take them with you” I give him both books. “I can’t help but notice that you’ve taken a liking to read dirty literature” He places the books in his bag.

I go to open the door for him before stopping and peering up at him.

“Think of me when you try and pray your sins away tonight” I step up to his height a little bit and press a small kiss to his cheek.

This book isn’t even completed and yet at half a million reads!

And we’re off! More scenes like this to come!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter loves 🤍.

chapt 14 • Oh So Close

“The council is willing to see past your comments towards Annalise since it’s your first offense. They recommended you go to counseling, they believe you have a lot of pent-up anger” Carter taps the pen against his index finger.

“Tell them I said thanks for the offer” I stood up from the uncomfortable wooden chair. “But I disrespectfully decline.”

“Honey, I recommend you try. There’s nothing wrong with getting help”—

“Trust me, I don’t need your advice Mr. Rivers” I turn the knob of the door, hearing a sigh behind me before I step outside and shut the door.

The last thing I wanted was to sit in someone’s office while they write down my problems only to feed them back to the council, so they come to some psychological conclusion.

To them, I was the exact definition of everything they teach students not to be.

Their prestigious school was already failing behind their eyes. There were relationships they weren’t aware of, sneaking off to the frat parties on the weekends and coming back with a bit of a hangover. The cameras might have been everywhere but there was always a blind spot.

I joined Charolette and Quinn in the dining hall.

“Who has you smiling more than ever?” Quinn teased Charolette while playing with her pigtails.

“No one” Charolette’s voice speaks up and she averts her eyes down to the fruit bowl in front of her instead.

“It wouldn’t have to do with a certain redhead would it?” Quinn points her fork at Astra who’s across the room, laughing while stealing short glances at a blushing Charolette.

The same moment Charolette went to defend herself, her phone dinged and Quinn was first to read the message that appeared on the screen.

“Milkshakes?” Charolette took her phone back, quickly typing something as well as ignoring Quinn’s knowing gaze.

“Is my favorite shy mate going on a date?” Quinn bit into her pineapple being held up to her mouth with her fork.

“We’re only going for milkshakes that’s it, she says she isn’t a fan of them but she’ll give them another try for me. It’s not a date” Charolette makes sure to include the fact that it was two friends hanging out.

“You’ve been “hanging out” a lot lately“ Charolette didn’t respond, she only picked up a strawberry holding it close to her mouth.

“Only friends” Charolette went to take a bite of the fruit at the same time Astra walked over. She leaned slightly close to Charolette and rose Charolette’s hand to her lips keeping the fruit between her finger, biting into it herself.

“Can’t wait for today” Her green eyes resembled the smile on her face before she walked away.

Charolette’s cheeks warmed and Quinn opened her mouth, “Only friends huh”

“I think they’re cute together, friends or friends with benefits,” I tell her, and she continues to stare at Astra leaving the dining room.

“Anyways, there’s a party tomorrow. This one’s supposed to be better than the rest since they won some sports game” Quinn shrugs, “I think we should go, we’ve been stuck in lectures since Monday and it’s finally the weekend”

“Astra asked me to go with her, we’re going to look for something to wear after milkshakes” Charolette eats a strawberry.

“Probation until the end of the year,” I say with a sarcastic smile.

I’ve been stuck on probation since Adeline wrote me for inappropriate choice of clothing, Probation meant I wasn’t allowed to go into town, and I was stuck here until next year.

Lucky me.

“There’s always next time, I’ll tell you how it goes” Quinn stands with her fruit tray, “Besides, the whole fifty frat guys jumping in a pool and getting splashed by them isn’t fun”

“I’ll bring some movies and candies for us!” Charolette promised.

Both Charolette and Quinn said their goodbye’s and see you later to me and left to prepare themselves for their day. Leaving me stuck in hell itself when I could be going with them, but I know someone far more interesting than a college party and celebrations over winning a football game.

And that someone has not shown up in the dining hall since I’ve gotten here. I threw away the fruit bowl, took my bag, and left the dining hall.

—

The second I opened the library doors, both Madelyn’s and Alessio’s voices came from the right side of the old and vintage room.

“I’m just not understanding this part” I looked over to them, sitting at the fifth table in the row.

Textbooks and both their bags in front of them, Madelyn trying to take any chance she can get of getting closer to him but Alessio making sure to keep her at his preferred distance.

When the doors shut behind me, they both look up and Madelyn allows a grin to creep up her lips. Alessio only pauses his words, I approach them hiding the fact that I didn’t like Madelyn being almost too close to him.

“Honey! I’m so glad you’re here! Alessio was just helping me with some lecture assignments I didn’t understand since we share the same Professor” she said. Alessio dropped his eyes to the textbook in front of him when she spoke.

“I hope you don’t mind, I know the both of you are working on a project but I really needed his help” she placed her chin on her palm.

“I don’t mind I’ll leave you to it” I glanced at Alessio, he wasn’t expecting me to just be fine with what was happening and that was because I wasn’t.

“Are you sure you don’t want to join?” She asked, but it was clear she didn’t mean it.

“I just remembered that I have a lot of reading to catch up on” Madelyn was a terrible actress, she couldn’t hide the joy written all over her face. I left them, knowing it would only be a matter of minutes before he was at my door.

—

Alessio knocks on my door while I admire the tan silk nightdress which hits my thighs, making sure every inch of me was revealing enough to tease him.

I open the door but I don’t greet him, I only go back to fixing my hair in the full body mirror. He shuts the door behind him, I can already feel his soft brown eyes on me.

“I..I— Are you upset?” I didn’t respond, I wasn’t mad or angry, we have a deal and he knew that.

“I only did it to get suspicious of us.. she kept asking if you were taking all my time. So I agreed to tutor her only this one time” I stopped messing with my hair, letting it fall to my waist.

“I’m not upset Alessio” I face him, crossing my arms over my chest, his eyes running over my cleavage as the blush begins to rise along his face.

“But that doesn’t mean that I’m happy with the fact that you were tutoring her either” I take his hand and lead him over to my bed, letting him take a seat.

I know he did it for a good reason but that doesn’t mean I can’t toy with him a little bit.

I keep his hand in mine, taking his fingertip and letting them glide up my soft skin. I take my place on his lap, continuing to guide fingertips further up my thigh.

“I thought about you today” His touch was gentle, I brought his hand up to the soft material of the nightdress that had risen higher.

“R-Really..” I nod my head.

“I thought about letting you touch me, or letting you feel how incredibly wet you make me” The sound of his breath stopping for a short second makes me continue to bring his hand up to my waist.

“I thought about how hard it makes you when I kiss your neck and wondered if you’d like it if I were to kiss lower than that” I keep my eyes on his.

I press a kiss to his two fingertips before letting them run down my neck, slower and slower down my chest, stopping at the valley between my breasts.

I feel his hardness strain against his pants pressing harder into my clit, fuck.

I guide his hand to push off the straps of my nightgown, causing the material to cover my tits yet giving him an entire show of my breast.

Taking his other hand and letting it rest on my thigh, Alessio drops his eyes to my cleavage.

I take both of his hands, letting them grasp my breast at the same time. His mouth falling ajar, I close my eyes for a second, liking how his hands bring more warmth to my body.

“I bet she wonders what it would feel like if you touched her or how it would feel to please you herself, I bet she was thinking about it the entire time” I refer back to Madelyn.

Alessio’s eyes darted up to mine again, “But she’ll never know, will she?” he shakes his head.

“And why is that?” I inclined more to him.

“B-Because I only want you to please me, Honey” My eyes almost roll to the back of my head, his voice comes out deeper, mixed in with lust.

I move towards his ear, allowing his hands to feel the rounds of my boobs, “I know, I just wanted to hear you say it.”

“Honey… I want to”— Two heavy knocks at my door made me lean my forehead against his shoulder and his hands dropped from my breast.

A short look of worry came across his face, I fixed the straps of my nightdress and told him to wait there and be quiet.

I opened the door but only where you could see me and not even get a peek of my room.

“What are you doing here?” I ask Madelyn, already pissed that we were interrupted and I didn’t get to hear what he wanted.

“Have you seen Alessio? He disappeared shortly after you left us alone and I can’t find him in any of the halls and I don’t know where his room is” She rambled out, her eyes trying to get a better view of my room but the door wouldn’t let her.

“Nope, haven’t seen him” Her face fell and she let out an expressed sigh in disappointment.

“Fine, if you see him tell him I’m looking for him. I have a party to be at anyways” She pushes her hair off of her shoulder before leaving.

I shut the door, turning my attention back to the innocent boy who hasn’t taken his eyes off of me.

I walk back to him, seeing that his hard-on still hasn’t gone away or gone down in the slightest.

“I wonder if she’d be interested that I’m the cause of this” I run my hand over his bulge, “And that she’ll never have to ever make you as hard as I do”

“When you’re trying to calm yourself down, imagine my tits or my tongue or lips or”—

“Honey” His voice comes out strained, and I can tell I’m not helping his situation at all. He stands up now, looking down at me.

“What? I’ll be thinking of you when I make myself come before I sleep” If his face could get any redder, Alessio groans softly, enough to make my clit pulse against my underwear.

“God” he whispers more to himself as a prayer, almost knowing if he didn’t get out of this room he’d probably faint at my words.

I kiss above the cross necklace, letting my lips linger there for a second.

“Your room tomorrow, I want to try out your jacuzzi,” I tell him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Honey” Was all he could say.

• Hi loves! Sorry for the late update, I was terribly busy this week because of my love life so I worked on this chapter all day!

Hope you enjoyed it <3 Please remember I love all of you so much 🤍!

chapt 15 • Soaked

I was used to a lot of things.

One thing I haven’t been used to was father bringing up another woman he met. This time she was a business partner he had been working with for a couple of months now.

“Celeste, her name is Celeste and I’ve set up dinner with her when you visit for the holidays.”

“I’m surprised you even mentioned me” I roll over onto my stomach, messing with the duvet on my side, playing with the soft ruffles surrounding it.

A few months after mother’s death, father began to see and bring other women around. Each time he’d introduce them to me, my inner child balled up inside and cried. They never lasted more than a month or two so I never had to worry about them becoming a “mother figure” to me.

“She stumbled into your room by accident, I haven’t told her about Hartford” You haven’t told anyone that you sent your only child across the world because it would look bad for business.

“Afraid she might not like you after knowing that  you sent me off as if I was nothing?” Even through the phone, I could physically see him run a hand over his face.

“Honey, I told you that I’ve done it out of your best interest” I scoff, rolling back over to my back, crossing one leg over the other.

“Without asking me what’s in my best interest, but it isn’t all bad” I got up from my bed and went over to my closet.

“I’ve found somethings that are appealing to my eye” I found my uniform skirt and white top and put them on the chair beside me.

“Your academic studies are most important right now, that should be your main focus.”

“My studies of course! What else would I focus on other than hour-long lectures and tons of projects and most importantly finding my way away from the life of sin” I say into the phone, noting by father’s sigh that this call was going to end the same way it always did.

“I have a meeting soon, Goodbye Honey.”

—

My self-control was faltering in each waking moment.

I haven’t gone this long without sex and it felt hell and torture all in one. I blamed the innocent boy sitting straight across the room from me, doing nothing wrong but writing down the words coming from the Professor into his notebook.

I was being tempted, the guy down the row of students had been throwing knowing looks at me.  I was tempted to excuse myself and find myself in a storage room getting the release I so desperately craved and needed.

My mind and body were fighting each other right now, half of me wanted to, the other half forbid me from leaving my seat. So I stayed put in the chair, turning away from the guy across from me and trying to focus on the short woman standing at the podium in front.

It felt like hell ignoring my sexual urges, like a bad headache that wouldn’t go away.

I glanced down at Alessio, he was killing me right now and he didn’t even know it. The way the brown curls of his hair would fall over when he looked down at the textbook or how he place the writing tool at his chin when in deep thought.

From here I could see his side profile perfectly, his perfect jaw rose as he lifted his head back to the Professor in front of him. His Adam’s Apple made its appearance and I could only remember the sounds he made when I placed a kiss in the direct spot an inch away from it.

God help me.

I released the tension my thumb was putting on my pencil, if I pushed any harder it would snap.

Deep breaths Honey, deep breaths.

Most people would expect me to go on a sex-crazed rampage right about now, but I’ve learned over time how to calm my body and its fighting urges to find pleasure. It was hard, it was absolutely tormenting. Pleasing myself hasn’t been working lately.

“Everything alright?” Quinn taps my shoulder from behind me. “You haven’t sat still since you sat down”

“Uncomfortable chairs,” I tell her, she shrugs it off and goes back to her notes. And I try to focus the rest of the class and partially succeed.

—

“These are for you” I place three more books on top of the other two I had given him, which were now filled with little colored tags on different pages.

Someone’s been busy.

I hear him lightly gasp when I begin to unbutton my uniform shirt that was tucked away on my skirt. I raise my eyes to him and watch the blush fill his tanned cheeks.

“I wasn’t kidding about trying out your jacuzzi, I just didn’t have time to find my favorite bikini but this one will have to do” I let the material slide down my arms onto the floor, the black fabric holding up my breast making them hotter than ever.

I pushed down my skirt and revealed the rest, Alessio quickly turned his head, trying to hide the deep blush that began to overtake his features.

“I don’t mind you looking” I step closer to him, bringing his attention back to me, “You can look all you want”

I walk over to the curtains, pushing them open, seeing the jacuzzi already ready with the lights on illuminating the water as if he already prepared it for my arrival.

I first let my left foot feel the warm temperature of the water, the calmness of the bubbles forming as I stepped both of my feet inside before stepping fully inside. I run my wet hands through my hair, letting the water drench my hair’s natural wavy state.

I look over my shoulder to see him standing at the door frame. I wasn’t worried about anyone seeing us, his room was far too secluded from the eye of the campus. 

“Join me, it’s no fun by myself” I let my lips fall into a small pout, his eyes were telling me that he was considering it, “Please” and the short plea set him off.

Though he stays in his black shirt, Alessio enters the jacuzzi in his shorts.

The water begins to make his shirt tighten and cling to his skin, showing his strong chest and I run my eyes over the wet shirt now giving me a glimpse of abs underneath it. What I would give to see underneath his shirt right now…

I move over to his side, he pays attention to the water droplets gliding their way down my chest, disappearing into my bikini then looking over my tattoos with curious eyes.

I’m on his lap now, “This one is my personal favorite” I run his fingertip over the ink spelling out my name.

“But this one, I drag it down the line between my stomach to the one on my waist.

“This one hurt the most” His breathing began to pick up quicker, the longer we looked into each other’s eyes, the more the night grew silent.

“I want more, I have a few ideas but I never know where to get them” The breeze of the night contrasted with the warmth of the water surrounding us.

“I-I like this one” I didn’t need to look at the one he placed his fingers at, he ran his thumb over the ink making my eyes beg to close and my bottom lip roll into my mouth. His touch was always so gentle.

It was new, it sent my mind into a complete frenzy.

Short moments of silence fell between us, nothing but parted lips and the sound of the jets of the jacuzzi.

For a second I could feel him pull me closer to him, to where I was now looking down at him from his lap. Through his glasses into eyes that held my stare, his mind having an entire debate on whether he should express what’s on his mind.

“Something on your mind?” I tilt my head, wanting him to say what I know he’s been longing to since he was in my room two nights ago.

“You can tell me” I encourage

“I-I want to kiss you Honey, I want you to be my first kiss” He finally professed, confessing that he wanted me to be his first kiss allows a tint to coat over his freckled cheeks.

His eyes switch between my own before taking their chance to catch the sight of my lips.

I use my index finger to lift his chin, getting closer to his lips to the point where I can feel the softness of them against my own but not fully.

Fuck. Teasing him was only like teasing myself.

“Then kiss me Alessio” I watch the nervousness take over his features. Doubt begins to circle his eyes. “I’m not stopping you”

“I-I don’t know… I wouldn’t want to ruin it… Can you— please” When he begins to fumble on his words, I lean in keeping my eyes on his perfect lips awaiting my kiss.

I run my index finger over his bottom lip, Alessio’s brown eyes turning a shade darker and the shin of the moonlight directly above us not hiding the look of want and need in our eyes.

“Can I do what?” I pushed further, wanting the words to run through my ears and engrave themselves in my mind.

“I want you to teach me how to kiss you properly, please teach me Honey” I couldn’t hold back any longer, especially not how the single droplets of water that fell from his hair and landed on his lips made them incredibly tempting.

I finally brought our lips together, the softness that I have been craving to feel met my lips and I felt as if I was on the first step of giving my body what it wanted. Alessio followed my lead, allowing me control of the kiss, I went slow at first before his hands shot to my thighs and found their place on my hips.

He’s learning.

I brought a smile against his lips, using my tongue to swipe over his bottom lip, Alessio’s throat let out a deep sound that caused my clit to pulse and my abdomen to become tight.

I rubbed myself down on his growing erection, making him part his lips for a second, allowing me the opportunity to let our tongues meet.

I turned my head to get a better angle, his lips were perfect, full and sultry. They had a sweet taste to them that made them so damn addicting.

I sneak my hand up the back of his neck, all the way to darkened brown curls before pulling at the strands, turning his head to my desired position.

I bit down on his bottom lip softly, something I’ve been fucking dying to do. “Mmh” I did it once more, seeing as he liked it from the way he raised his hips up and the throaty moan that erupted from him.

He was beyond hard, he was pulsing and shifting uncomfortably underneath me.

If you could feel what I was feeling, you wouldn’t be able to breathe right now.

I pulled away seeing his once pink lips now a darker shade, even plumper than before. I needed to feel him, my hands found their way up to his shirt to the center of his abdomen, and holy fuck…

I felt the ripples and what felt like perfectly sculpted lines of his abs, my hands traveled further until they found two deep lines that continued further into his shorts telling me that Alessio Rivers has a V-line and a perfectly well-kept body.

My mind spiraled everywhere, wanting to see his perfect untainted skin covered in marks only made by me, the sounds he would make if I were to suck on the skin above his chest and the want to know which spots made him squirm.

On his own accord, Alessio inches forward carefully, then he stops when he feels the water of the jacuzzi begin to run cold and a shiver rises throughout my body.

The coldness of the water causes my nipples to become hard and push against the damp piece holding my breast, I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his torso.

“I-I should probably take us inside now…” I don’t say anything, I let him carry me inside of his room, setting me down and grabbing me one of his gray towels.

I wrap it around me, all while looking directly at him, even taking a chance and seeing how constricted the shirt has become on his body. The outline of his body driving me insane.

“It’s late, I wouldn’t you to get in trouble”— I pull him by his wet shirt, catching him by surprise and kissing him yet again, I can’t help but find his lips addictive and the knowledge that I’m the first to taste them isn’t helping.

“It’s far too late to be worrying about getting in trouble” I pick my clothes from the floor. Alessio isn’t looking at me, he’s looking everywhere but me now.

I say my goodbyes, not worrying to much about his distant reactions, focusing on how to sneak out of his room which is easier said than done.

The stars are scattered around the night sky and I  look at them through my window when I return to my room. I think back to mother’s love of astronomy. I dispose of my wet clothes and set a warm bath for myself and begin to miss her and find it almost impossible to fall asleep with old memories of her flooding my mind.

• If only I could hug every single one of you to thank you for 700k reads! Much love! 

• Chapter Thoughts? I had a few doubts about this chapter but I hope you enjoyed.

chapt 16 • Distant

Sleep hadn’t come easily last night, what made it worse was Adeline knocking at my door at such an early time only for a mandatory room check.

I wasn’t able to find sleep after that and went into trying to study for lectures I had in the evening. Only for those to be canceled due to Professor’s being in meetings for the entire day.

After I turned down the academy’s offer to seek counseling, they set up a meeting with the academy’s priest instead. A man who seemed to think he knows more about my life than I did.

“I’ve learned to accept my “sins”, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Why be ashamed of something I didn’t ask for? Instead, I should be embracing it, noit no?“ The man sat there with his leg crossed over the other, a bible in hand laying over it.

“Embracing something that’s corrupted you at such a young age?” I snap my eyes up from the duvet on my lap to him, he hasn’t written anything down, his notebook sits on the side of him.

“None of you understand, do you? My nymphomania didn’t corrupt me… it was probably what made it all”— My words are cut off by the sound of the timer, the hour is over.

“Honey I can add another hour if you want to finish your”—

“I don’t need another hour, I’m done speaking about this” I grab my bag, pushing the small pillow to the left of me and walk over to the door.

“Before you go,” My hand pauses on the doorknob, “You’re welcome to confess anything to me, Honey, though it is my job to listen to your confessions, it is also my job to keep what we speak about between the two of us”

“There is nothing more to say” I add on before shutting the door, leaving the second building.

I have to meet with him once a week and confess something dear to me to him, he says each confession would bring me closer to forgiveness and faith. I wasn’t sure how much of that I truly believed.

Everyone seemed to think I wanted to be rid of my nymphomania and sometimes that was the case.. Other times I liked to think it was the only connection I had with my mother.

I shut the door to my room, dropping my bag on the bed and ridding myself of my clothes. Turning on a bath and adding raspberry-scented bubbles to fill the bathroom with its delightful scent.

Sometimes I wish I could ask her millions of questions about her stay at Hartford, who and what exactly drove her away from everything.

I let memories of her fade away and memories of previous days rain in.

I skimmed my fingers over my lips, remembering the soft and perfect ones that were recently on mine the day before.

Thinking about Alessio reminded me that he had been excused from all lectures today, due to him being sick. I hadn’t even seen him in the halls or prayer lectures, his seat was empty in every lecture that we shared with each other.

Even when I texted him to see where we would be meeting each other, there was no response. I pushed the thought that he might have been sick out of my head because he looked perfectly fine when I left him.

Though I still questioned why he wouldn’t look at me before I left and wondered what was on his mind during and after the kiss.

I wasn’t used to being someone’s first kiss, that was new to me. I was used to hooking up with experienced people, not having to worry about taking it slow.

I thought I would completely hate the idea of having to take everything slowly but it turns out well on my end helping me calm my impulses that want to run wild on their own.

I was so used to giving in and letting my body take over even when I knew it was wrong, ignoring my mind when I truly didn’t want to but couldn’t control myself and gave in. Scrubbing off the night feeling disgusted and exhausted.

The bubbles surround me and I only lean my head to the wall behind me and close my eyes. The heat of the bath allowed me to reminisce about the warmth of the jacuzzi and the gentle feeling of Alessio’s hands gliding up to my waist.

It was extremely new to me when he wouldn’t allow his hands to touch any farther than that, it had also been the cause of my sleepless journey.

I finished my bath and readied myself for bed, opening the cabinet and taking only one prescribed pill that Adeline almost caused a thunderstorm over this morning until I showed her the prescription for them.

—

The next day I began to truly wonder if maybe I was the problem with Alessio. Yes he was back for lectures but he still just hadn’t even sent a glance my way, he was entirely focused on whatever was around him.

Even in the halls when I sent him a usual flirtatious lip-bite that only he could see, he didn’t once peek my way, instead, he kept walking as if I was everyone else in the academy.

“Something troubling you?” Madelyn’s brother diverts my attention to him while he leans on the wall right in front of me, “Could it be that you and I haven’t..” he steps closer, going for a hand on my hip but I smack his hand before he can touch me.

“Playing hard to get now?” They both shared the same grin when they thought they were getting their way.

“I’m not playing, I’m not interested in you,” I tell him bluntly. As if my words went through one of his ears and flew out the next he only smirked and walked off as if he had just gotten his way.

I went to follow Alessio’s path only to remember I still had two more lectures to attend.

I sat down in my seat and began to write down everything coming from the Professor, but Alessio who was only two doors down from me kept finding his way into my mind.

I could only imagine what his torso looked like underneath his shirt, the V-line I had gotten lucky to trace with my fingers and…

“Ms. Rose, is there something distracting you from your assessment?” The Professor taps on my shoulder causing me to sit up, and I shake my head.

“Please carry on then” She continues to walk down the row, and I blink a few times and try to regain my focus on the paper in front of me.

A lot of the questions were easy for me since they were things Alessio let me study from his notes, thankfully I was able to answer them without any problem or second-guessing answers.

When the Professor dismissed us, I was first out of my seat and the first to turn in my paper. She tried to hide her look of surprise on her face when I smiled at her knowing I would pass.

“Honey! Before you go I would like to inform you that your recent improvement in your academic grade is impressive and I’ve let the Headmaster know, only because I don’t believe in the probation period here” she informs me, “Please keep doing what you’re doing, I love to see my students thrive”

I thank her kindly, she would be the first adult who truly saw me as a student and not anything else.

I checked my phone on my way out and still no response from Alessio on where to meet him.

—

“Are you ignoring me?” I close the door, leaving my textbooks on the couch on the right. I decided to finally check the back room of the library even though I should’ve done it yesterday but I couldn’t even find the time.

He shook his head, dropping the paintbrush into the paint can. I admire his sleeves that are rolled up, the veins running down from his forearms decorating his hands. Paint decorates his white button-up in various spots, some on his fingers along with his slacks.

“No, I’m not, I’ve been b-busy..” I slowly got closer to him, while he sat on the stool, watching my every move carefully.

“I thought you were sick?” I sit on his desk, crossing my tanned legs over one another right in front of him.

“You seem fine to me, so are you going to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me since our kiss? Are you regretting me being your first kiss?” I seek the answer but my question only causes him to frown.

“No, I don’t regret it at all, it’s all I can think about and how much I enjoyed it. I just thought maybe you wouldn’t want to continue this because a lot of what we’re doing is my first time…” He reveals, his eyes dropping to the floor once more.

I was shocked, even after all that we’ve done he hasn’t noticed that he drives my body crazy! When he stands from the small seat, I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him into me.

Alessio’s hard in a second, and I make sure to press against him so he can feel exactly what his innocence does to me.

“Don’t ignore me anymore, if something is bothering you. Tell me, I want to get rid of all your concerns, alright?” He manages to nod his head, his glasses sliding down from their usual spot.

I take his right in mine, sliding it gently up my skirt to my inner thigh, feeling his delicate fingertips graze over my skin making me bite back a moan. I bring them over now-soaked underwear and Alessio lets out a short gasp.

My index finger rests on his chin, making him crane his neck down a bit to barely touch my lips with his own.

“Feel how wet you make me” I press his finger directly on my clit and let a moan fly past my lips.

“You make it incredibly hard not to think such sinful things, especially when you do that” I drag my finger over his lips, “Honey…”

The desire in his eyes falls flat when I push him away softly, “I thought you were busy?” I remind him of the painting he was working on before.

“I would hate to distract you” I pick up the paintbrush and hand it to a very hard Alessio.

“Distract me all you want… I don’t mind” He steps forward, I have to focus my eyes on something other than the bulge that’s waiting to be taken care of, straining in his pants.

I calmly pull him by his tie, my left hand running its way over his hard-on. The strangled noise that erupted from him made me lightly squeeze him.

“I’m sure you don’t, but I hate to be ignored especially when all I can think about is taking you all the way down my throat,” I say in his ear, his cock twitching behind the material and his fist balled at his sides.

“Am I making it worse?” He didn’t have to say anything, the way he grew in my hand told me all I needed to know and I leaned up to kiss his neck.

“You’re not h-helping… Oh my, Honey please” His pleas were tempting, I was ready to fall to my knees for him right at this moment but I was also having so much fun watching him fall apart right now.

“I want to make you cum, but then again I don’t want to disturb you from your project. So I’ll let you get back to it” I stopped my hand and backed away from him, his lips curled down for a moment while he stood uncomfortably hard.

I handed him his small prayer book, “You’ll be needing this tonight” He sighed knowing that I wasn’t going to touch him, and sat on the stool and picked up his brush.

Alessio was still dealing with a major hard-on which kept him shifting in his seat and I read through his poetry books occasionally looking up to see him trying to focus on his painting.

Then I realized that each of the words was written in French, “You speak French?” he gestured his head as a yes and I shut the book.

What can’t he do?

“You could be at any university you want and you’re here” I study him as he carefully uses the thin tip brush to perfect each detail.

“My parents are worshipers, I’ve been to church all of my life, studied their beliefs and they believe Hartford would continue that” He explains and I know how it feels, minus the whole studying beliefs.

I respect everyone’s religion and beliefs but hated the fact Grandma would shove it down my throat and try to make me out to be who she wanted.

I look at the silver ring representing purity on his left hand, “Your father is the Headmaster of the academy and a priest at your church.. what does your mother do?”

“She teaches religion to the youth at the church’s school, the same school they made me study at when I was younger” I started to realize that his innocence ran deeper than I imagined.

“If you’ve been taught not to sin, why are you doing this with me? It goes against everything you’ve ever been taught” Alessio stops his brush from moving any further, he stands to his feet, coming over to the desk and coming over to stand in front of me.

“I never once thought about any of this before, I’ve never felt this way at all and I know it’s wrong for me to like it but I do” I lean my palms back, and he takes a step towards my parted legs.

“It’s not wrong to feel sexually aroused, it’s not something to be looked down upon for”. Alessio is still in the dark about my condition.

He isn’t like everyone else who’s aware of me, for once I’m seen as a person and not for my nymphomania.

“Everyone has their dirty secret, even a saint has a secret far worse than the ultimate sinner.”

“Secrets always come to light… if my parents were to find out about this, they would think I’ve disrespected them and Christ in the worst ways” He begins to twist his purity ring around his finger, anxiety being written on his face.

Carter has devoted himself to his faith, hoping to drag his son along with it. If he were to find out, he would shame me and take his son away from everything and everyone.

I place my hand on his shoulder, “Then we won’t let that happen, no one will find out. It’s clear you want to explore your wants and needs and it’s clear that you want to explore them with me, correct?” he nods his head and tosses my hands around his neck, bringing him closer to my face.

“Well then we’ll explore them, sometimes sinning isn’t so bad. Not when you have the perfect sinner” I don’t give him a chance to say anything before kissing his lips, thinking about them since I left his room two days ago. It felt like a relief to finally feel and taste them again.

I sink my teeth softly into his plump bottom lip, he straightens out his back and lets his hands fall onto my bare thighs now that my skirt has gone up.

I tug at the silver chain around his neck, pulling him closer into me and meeting my tongue with his. He follows my lead and I feel his heartbeat against the palm of my hand.

The heat of the kiss makes me wonder how good it feels to let his lips roam down my body, in between my thighs and over my aching clit.

He goes for more of the kiss but I pull away with a smile, “You have a project to finish, remember” I bring my index and middle finger over his now swollen red lips that look fucking irresistible.

“I can always work on it later, I-I want to kiss you more” I blink slowly at him and tilt my head up a little more to tease his lips.

“I’m not stopping you” In an instant, he placed his hand on the side of my neck, turning his head to the left a little bit to kiss me deeper this time, the other hand went around my waist and brought me closer so I could feel his dick against the inside of my thigh and I was expecting that at all.

I almost let myself melt directly in his hands when he did so, when he got a small moan from me, he scooted me further to the edge of the desk so I could directly feel him allowing me to moan yet again.

I don’t think he noticed what he was doing because when the kiss stopped, his entire face went a bright red, he was cute and sexy all in one.

Carter’s son was turning into everything he taught him not to be. But half of me still wanted his innocence to remain, I didn’t want to strip him completely of it and turn him into something I knew he wasn’t.

• I fall for these two the more I write about them

chapt 17 • Butterflies & Sketches

Not only was Hartford huge on religion, but it was also big on art. Students who applied here for whatever reason were also talented in many arts, which was also the reason the school was heavily funded by rich people across the world.

One person was Grandma, she sent funds to the school as well. Since I learned she worked for the council at the same time mother was forced to study here, I had been reading a lot into the academy’s past.

There was nothing about the students individually but there was information on the council during Grandma’s time. Apparently, she was the one who began the room inspection rule.

She was truly Hartford’s very own devil.

I didn’t waste my time and carried on with reading what else terror she had rained upon the academy but I only thought of ways I could find something, a photo, a file, something on mother while she was here but I couldn’t find anything.

“Are you going to talk today? Or are we going to have another silent hour again?” The academy’s pastor sat across from me, notebook and pen nowhere to be seen as he assured me none of the things I say will be recorded.

“You know, you don’t seem like much of a pastor to me” I fiddle with one of the scented sticks sitting in a glass beside me.

“Shouldn’t you be shouting at me? And throwing holy water and telling me to beg for forgiveness on my knees right now?” He never responded when I responded with useless questions, he only waited for me to say something that he was being paid to listen to.

“How would you describe your childhood Honey? Or your relationship with your parents” he crossed a leg over the other, sitting there with his cross necklace clutched in his left hand.

“I’m here aren’t I? Shouldn’t that give you all the answers you need” He sighed, running a hand over his stubbled chin.

“You see Hartford as a punishment, why is that?” I place the stick back in the glass and sit up, seeing that the hour was taking its sweet time to pass.

“Is it not? Unlike all of you, I don’t believe in anything you try to teach here. All you are doing is telling us that we are to blame for the way we are, not even taking into account that maybe there’s more to the story” He leans forward.

“More to your story? Do tell, what is it or who is it that plays a role in your story Honey? Because there’s someone who controls you more than you control yourself, someone who you allow to influence your life, the entire reason why you don’t want to tell me anything about your childhood because this person has made you afraid, afraid that maybe someone can help you”

I was stuck, I didn’t know why but I was. I hated this feeling, the feeling of someone who was reading me as if I were an open book.

“Your fear is natural, many people fear help, as well as many people, regret not getting help. I’m not here to report anything you say back to the council, believe it or not. I care for the students here, you aren’t the first hard-headed one I’ve come across, you can trust me on that” I was now quiet.

“Alright then, I’ll tell you something about me. How about that?” I still didn’t speak, I was too busy letting my images of my father fill my head.

“Before I became a pastor, I was a therapist. I’ve seen tons of people and heard tons of stories, some that didn’t allow me to sleep at night. There is always a story that I can never forget and I don’t allow myself to ever forget.”

“Why become a pastor then? I’m sure you’d rather hear adults complain about how shitty their lives are than a nineteen-year-old nymphomaniac who you all view as a slut” I can’t stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

“That’s exactly why, because adults don’t have what teenagers do and that’s a young mind that we can still develop into believing. Believing that the world’s view on them shouldn’t be their concern or their worry” I waited for him to finish.

“The more you worry about what someone thinks of you, the more you’re never going to see or enjoy life in your eyes but always in someone else’s” He was different from what I expected the academy’s pastor to be like.

“I had a friend once… they were beyond things words could describe. Their entire life, they let one thing define them because that was what people knew them for, not for their smile that could make anyone smile or for their eyes that were like stained glass windows. Fragile but full of color and light, the smallest bit would cause them to crack but they never let them, they would never let anyone see behind their eyes because if they did.. you could see how much pain they truly suffered” I messed with my thumbs in my lap.

“What happened to them… if you don’t mind me asking”Short emotions of sadness came across the Pastor’s eyes, emotions I was all too familiar with.

Sorrow… Grief.. and Regret.

“Sorry, I’m not one to talk about lost loved ones either.. as you can tell” The timer began to ring, I was sort of glad it did, he seemed to need time to himself after sharing his story.

“How about this?” His voice stopped me from walking over to the door. “I confide personal things about me to you, and whenever you trust me you can do the same whenever you feel most comfortable”

“I’ll think about it, how about that?” He shook his head, “It’s better than no right?” I shrugged and he couldn’t deny that fact.

“Have a good rest of your evening Honey” He started to get up and put away his timer.

“Same to you Pastor” I opened the door but he said one last thing.

“Please call me Adam” I shut the door without looking back. The entire day I could not stop thinking about the short story he shared, I don’t know what it was but had wished we had more time so I could hear more.

—

“If one were to take a quick look at old student records, where would I look?” I ask Charolette while she sits in front of her mirror and brushes her hair in a hurry for something.

“All records would be in the Headmaster’s office, in the large cabinet. It holds old files and new ones, you can find whatever you’re looking for in there” I took a mental note of that, sitting up on her bed wondering why she looks like she’s going to pass out.

“If you brush any harder you might start losing hair” she gasped and dropped her brush, “What’s wrong?”

“My parents are stopping by today for Adeline but they also want to see me as well. They want to make sure I haven’t failed them… I don’t know what to do if they see something slightly off they might tell me to study here longer” her eyes widen when she listens to herself.

“You haven’t done anything wrong, you’ll be fine” I try to assure her but she only chews on the corner of her bottom lip.

“I have to ignore Astra for the entire day because I forgot to explain to her and she might hate me after this.. oh no. I don’t want her to hate me” her lower lip begins to twitch and I go over to her.

“Hey, Hey. Look at me, I’ll explain everything to her She won’t hate you, she’ll understand, okay?” she nods and wraps her hands around me pulling me into a hug and whispering “thank you so much” millions of times.

She takes several deep breaths before fixing her hair and opening her door. The color in her face drains when two wealthy dressed people stand outside ready to knock on her door.

“You’re so early…” Charolette’s voice goes higher and her hand is shaking on the doorknob.

Charolette’s mother resembled her perfectly, from the long blonde hair and the eyes. But Adeline looked much more like their father, the auburn hair that stuck out more than any other feature they had in common.

“We aren’t ones to be late” Her tone was strict, neither of them with welcoming tones towards their daughter.

Her father glanced around until he saw me on the side and raised an eyebrow.

“Mother, Father, this is Honey Rose, a friend of mine” Again, neither of them said anything to me and went back to their daughter.

“Shall we find Adeline? We don’t want to be here longer than we have to” Charolette frowned when they turned away and started walking off, I gave her one last hug and wished her luck. Then I was off to find Astra and explain Charolette’s situation to her.

—

After explaining everything to Astra who understood and went back to Charlotte’s room to wait for her and comfort her after, I went to the library to find Alessio.

When I did find him, he was already painting. This time it was a blue butterfly with a mix of color sitting on dandelions, he was very concentrated on not messing up the detail.

I could watch him paint all day, his eyebrows were slightly pushed together. He didn’t worry about the strands of hair falling over his face. Different colors of paint were scattered on his black knit sweater, and the paint ran across his knuckles as well.

“Chalkhill Blue” He randomly spoke out, still carefully dragging the thin-tipped paintbrush covered in black paint along with the wings of the butterfly.

“Hm?” I turn my head with slight confusion, his thigh tenses a bit when he feels my hand there but then he relaxes quickly.

“The type of butterfly, it’s a Chalkhill Blue” He drops the brush into the bluish water.

“Do you study them?” I draw invisible circles along his thigh, noticing how it affects him.

“I like painting them the most though, all the colors I can experiment with and discover” I get up and sit on his lap, in front of the canvas. Grabbing one of the larger paintbrushes and begin to paint the flowers around the butterfly.

I painted five more flowers before turning to look over my shoulder, Alessio hadn’t looked at the painting once until I looked back at him.

“I didn’t know you painted” He picks up the brush again to finish the rest of the flowers.

“I’m not just another pretty face, we all have our hidden talents” I continue to admire how good he is at literally everything, not being able to come up with anything he can’t do.

“Would you like to paint more? I can give you your own canvas and we can paint more if you’d like?” I nod my head and he finds a smaller canvas and other paint brushes and hands it to me. I take them and sit on the stool beside his standing canvas.

While he continued to finish his current work, I thought about what I would paint. I grabbed the sketching pencil and started to draw on the whiteboard.

I don’t know how or where the idea came from, but I started sketching where my mind would take me. When I finished, I didn’t even realize what I had sketched.

Without even realizing it, I had drawn a small girl holding a butterfly trapped in a jar. If you looked closer you could see a tear slip from the small girl’s eyes that were black holes.

“Honey?” Alessio’s voice snapped me out of my dazed stare at the canvas. “C-Can I see?”

I looked back down one more time before turning it over to show him, still in the loss on how and why this image was the first thing I pictured.

“Wow.. you’re really talented, your detail is amazing. If you’d like, you can always come back here to sketch more, I’ll give you the spare key just in case I lock the door” He dug in his pocket and held a gold key in front of me.

I take the key, the words “Rivers” carved into the gold, I wasn’t sure why he was so kind to me when he knew absolutely nothing about me. It only made me not want to tell him about my nymphomania, maybe the kindness in his eyes would turn into everything everyone else looks at me with.

Disgust.

We fell into a pit of quietness, going back to our art projects. Occasionally I could see him look away from his painting to me so I put my sketch down and went back to hit lap, it became my favorite seat.

“Something on my face?” I throw my arms on his shoulders. He gestures his head as a no, “Then what is it?”

“I-I would like to paint you someday… if you’d let me… Never mind, please forget I said that” He looked as if he was ready to mentally scold himself, I lifted his chin back up, our lips as close as ever.

“Stare at me all you want, paint me as much as you like. You can even paint me naked, I don’t mind getting undressed for you” I feel his pants swell underneath me, the size of him never fails to surprise me.

“You can sketch out my body or paint it, I don’t care as long as you make me pretty” I lean in to bite his lip and tease it with my teeth.

“Tu es belle, pas seulement jolie” If he couldn’t get any hotter, the French words slipped from his tongue with ease, his tone dropped deeper and my body began to heat. (You are beautiful, not just pretty)

“Are you going to tell me what that means?” I wanted to hear it again, even though I hadn’t known what he said. I just wanted to hear how the accent dripped from his tongue smoothly.

Before he could respond, the sound of rain hitting against the window made me turn to look. Light gray clouds hid the moon behind it, the sound of the rain was calming, so was the breeze I felt whenever I would sit by a window and crack open the window a bit.

“I like the rain, it’s peaceful” I spoke more to myself than to him. His window was the best view of the rain, the large window covered by navy curtains that blew a bit from the small wind.

I turned back to him, only to notice that he hadn’t once looked out the window. Yet his neck was tilted up a bit and his hair was a mess on the making. Umber eyes searched for my own and that’s when I brought him in for a kiss.

His lips were like a drug and it would get anyone hooked, luckily for me, I was the only one who was allowed to get to taste them. They fueled me more than touching myself.

There were more sinful touches and teasing involved further into the night, more sketching, and even more of making Alessio blush incredibly hard.

“I think you should look forward to tomorrow, it might just take care of all your pent of tension” As innocent as he was, Alessio began to put two and two together and questioned what I meant.

“I guess we have to wait and see, patient boys get rewarded,” I said close to his ear before kissing his cheek, down his jaw, to his neck, and back up to his lips before winking him off.

• Close to 1million !!

• A cute chapter before things get hot again

• An Aesthetic of Artistic Alessio!

chapt 18 • Patience

The intercom buzzed, telling us that it was our first lecture of the day that would begin soon.

“I-I think we should be.. getting our books, I don’t want us to be l-late” Alessio’s words come close to unsteady whispers and his body saying the opposite  of his words.

His head was to the side, leaving me room to explore his neck with my tongue. His hands were on my waist as I sat on his lap, their grasp tightened whenever my lips brushed over that specific spot that was enough to make him moan and his dick was trying to break free through his pants.

“We have time” I grind into him more, letting my tongue roll over his sweet spot before gently running my teeth along the skin.

“Do you like it when I do that?” I whisper on his skin, and go back to what I had been doing before.

“Yes.. I like it when you do that” Alessio takes more of the material of my skirt into his hands and balls a fist as he tries to softly moans.

Alessio has been good at telling me what he likes and not one thing I’ve done has he told me that he dislikes. I told him I’d stop if he didn’t give me at least some kind of sign that he was enjoying it but the feeling of his hard-on was more than enough.

I liked to hear him say it and see his face when he admitted it. He finds it embarrassing but I assure him it’s incredibly hot when he voices what turns him on.

I brought my lips back up to his lips, I couldn’t get enough of how soft they were, and how good they felt against mine. I wrap my hand around his tie, wanting to feel his hard chest and the speed of his heart quicken when I meet his tongue with my own.

I was teaching him how to become a great kisser, and it was like he was taking notes with his tongue using my mouth as his paper, and I began to wonder how his tongue would feel on the inside of my thighs, all the way to my soaking pussy.

Oh fuck.

I could make my entire body boil just at a simple thought of Alessio doing the naughtiest things to me and me doing the naughtiest things to him.

The second intercom rang, this one telling us that we were expected to be in our lectures or we wouldn’t be marked present and would have to see the Headmaster and explain what could have been more important than listening to the word of God.

There was a simple answer to the question.

The Headmaster’s son.

“We’re going to be late, i-if we don’t stop now” I sighed and pulled away from kissing along his sharp jawline that drives me insane.

I quickly fixed his hair and straightened out his tie and somewhat wrinkled shirt from the number of times I grasped it to control myself.

Then I let my hair loose from the ponytail it had been sitting in. Running my hands down my skirt to straighten it downwards and adjust my shirt.

I grabbed my bag from the floor, “Can we.. continue later? Please?” I grinned to myself upon hearing his footsteps as he put his bag over his right shoulder, letting it hang from the left.

His hair now ruined and his bottom lip matching the shade of his cheeks.

“Maybe, I’ll have to think about it. I didn’t want to stop in the first place. So if you’re patient then maybe I’ll give you something.. special” I could almost see his mind racing, trying to figure out what I meant by something special.

“Come on, we’ll be late if we don’t hurry,” I say with a teasing tone and he isn’t quick to cover the slight regret in his eyes.

—

I wish I could turn my ears off but since I can’t, I excused myself to the bathroom instead, in desperate need to get out of there before I die of absolute boredom, listening to the man sit and repeat our way to the path of pure life through the words of God.

If it wasn’t worse enough, I was called to pick up a box of righteous quotes Grandma tells me to rehearse before sleeping since she isn’t here to do it for me.

Then her telling me in a short letter how father had invited his friend over for dinner yet again and it became a weekend thing as well as telling me how great his business is doing and how dearly they both wish I could be there to witness it all.

I return to the class and sit in my seat, now the man has gone on about how falling in lust is a forgivable sin and we should stir away from it. Lusting after something you cannot have is a sin especially when you continue to pursue it for your sexual pleasure.

His entire speech on lust made me look across the large room to Alessio. Of course, I didn’t care about the many different sins someone could write an entire book about and shame me for, they said we would feel terrible after it.

Then why did I feel so good lusting over someone who I could get expelled for even being seen with?

I still wonder how Alessio felt after we finish what we’re doing, but then I remember what he said about his mind knowing how wrong it was but his body would fail him every time.

He continued to go on how masturbation and sexual acts before marriage are looked down upon. The students around me were half and half, half of them taking notes and have been taught that what the man is saying is words they should go by. And the rest are like me, knowing that they’ve already done most of the things that would make the man in front of us pass out in a blink.

“You all should close your eyes and ask him to be with you during times of temptation” Those were his closing words before the intercom rang to end the lecture.

I watched Alessio pack his notebook into his bag, as he got up, he looked back at me, and even from here, I could see him take in a breath before he was out of the door, off to his next prayer lecture.

I walked out of the classroom, there were whispers about a party at the college in town yet again since it was growing close to the weekend.

In the middle of it were Madelyn and her brother, making sure people were still going and seeing if there would be alcohol served and what exactly would happen.

Another invite from her brother that I’ve turned down, he’s persistent and doesn’t take no for an answer. Another quality of being a stuck-up, rich boy who’s gotten absolutely everything he’s wanted and done anything he’s wanted without caring for the consequences because his parents would cover it up.

—

After I left my books in my room and changed into something more fitting, I went to Alessio’s room to study the rest of his notes.

What I wasn’t expecting was to find him with a towel around his neck and his brown hair now dark and dripping with water only to fall on the lenses of his glasses, making them fog up.

His damp hair now falling forward, each drop landing on his gray long sleeve, he was now reading one of the books I had given him, judging by the title I knew that it was one of the hottest ones yet.

He let me sit on his bed while he sat on the chair. I found myself taking glances at him trying to catch his reactions as he read each line.

Now I didn’t care about anything in the textbook in front of me, all I could focus on was the way he bit on his bottom lip slightly before adjusting himself in the chair and going to flip to the next page.

He reached over to grab and take a drink of the water bottoms to the side of him and continued the book, not knowing that I was watching his facial expressions as he did so.

If the room wasn’t filled with complete silence, I would have missed the short and needy groan before he cleared his throat.

I got up and placed his notes down beside him, standing behind his chair. I leaned over and rest my head on my hands on his shoulder. I took in the scent of his cologne mixed with his shampoo.

“This is my favorite part” I use my finger to run along the lines of the page. “Especially when she makes him cum, only by her mouth” he grips the book a little bit more.

“The way he can’t help but crumble into her hands, how good she makes him feel” I slide my hand over his shoulder, down his chest, feeling it constantly begin to lift and fall.

I continue down until I feel his abs over his shirt, abs I would love to kiss my way down and scratch with my nails as I ride him until we both cum.

I lick my lips and stop my hand until it’s over his dick which is practically begging to be released, the print of it over his sweats is enough to make me faint and go into cardiac arrest.

“Don’t mind me, keep reading” I rub him over his sweatpants, giving him an occasional squeeze as I kiss the spot below his ear.

“I-I can’t.. not when you do that” I go in front of him now, I sink to my knees in front of him and the spark that appeared in his eyes tells me that he’s put two and two together.

“When I do this?” I squeeze him one more time and he responds by shutting the book quickly.

I peer up to him through my long eyelashes, my eyes dimming and falling into a pool of hunger to please him and the urge to have in my mouth.

I brace my hands on his thighs, finding my way to the band of his sweats. His bottom lip rolls between his teeth when first trace his V-line as I free him from the constraints of his pants.

I would never get used to his size, it was hard not to want him inside of me.

He watched me carefully and let his body relax when I brushed his tip with my thumb. My hand hardly fit around him going down the base, his tip slowly easing pre-cum down allowing me to stroke him better.

“Always so ready for me” I inched my lips closer to him, the anticipation running wild in his eyes.

I scooted closer to him, I kept eye contact with him and turned my head to the side, and placed my lips at the base of him. His hands gripped the hand rests tighter when I led my lips all the way up to his tip making his lips fall open.

“Oh my..” I felt myself clench at his raspy voice, I placed gentle kisses along his length, teasing him.

I use my tongue to tease over his tip, placing my lips over it but not taking him into my mouth yet.

“Honey.. please… I need— I want more” He gulps on the air passing through his lips, staring down at me with pleading eyes.

“And I want you to fuck me, but we all have to be patient sometimes” He throws his head back at my words.

I tug on the bottom of his shirt, wanting to his how much I affect him through the sight of his body. He pulls the long sleeve off his body and I stop my eyes from rolling to the back of my head.

His body was a sin on its own.

From his collarbone to his chest was shining with sweat droplets from the temperature of his room to the heat his shirt created, down to his six-pack and his toned waist and the crease V-lines. His strong arms came into view, arms that wrap around my waist as he guides my body on top of him and the veins decorating along his forearms to his hands.

I had to stop myself from drooling over him, and remember that I was in the middle of giving him his first blow-job.

Please fuck me.

How could someone so innocent have the body of a devil?

I wrapped my lips around his tip finally, taking him deep into my mouth until I couldn’t fit him anymore. I held myself there for a few seconds before pulling my head up for air, using my hand to stroke what I couldn’t fit at the same time.

“Oh my… that’s good” I felt myself clench at the raspiness of his voice, swirling my tongue around him and letting him hit the back of my throat.

Alessio’s hips bucked up, making his tip hit my throat and causing a small gag to erupt from me and a tear to fall from my eyelids, wetting my eyelashes.

“S-Sorry… I didn’t mean” I hushed him.

“Don’t be, I like having you down my throat. It turns me on” He looked down to my tits which were now pressing hard through my shirt, not hiding my arousal.

I never took my eyes off him, his eyes shut and I continued to try and take him deeper. Letting my tongue cover each inch of him as he let sultry moans slip off his tongue and into his room.

With his head back and his Adam’s Apple bobbing with each swirl of my tongue and the light of the lamp showcasing each droplet of sweat on his tanned skin, I reached my hand down and slipped it inside my shorts.

Feeling incredibly wet at the hot sight in front of me, I hollow my cheeks a bit to suck him harder.

“You seem to like it when I do that” I repeated the action and he lowered his head to look down at me.

“I do… I like it so much” This time I was the one who closed my eyes, feeling my clit beg for me to touch it as I used my mouth to bring him closer.

I moaned around him when I rubbed my clit in circles, the moan sending vibrations around him and his breaths becoming heavier.

I graze my teeth on the side of him, at the same time as I use my now wet fingers to stimulate the aching bud. I bob my head faster, doing what makes him squeeze the hand rest harder.

I meet his eyes as I part my lips when my pussy throbs with need, his glasses slowly sliding down to his nose.

My tongue ran around his tip, his muscles tensed as did his lower abdomen, letting me know that he was close to coming.

I lay my tongue flat against his base, swiping my thumb over the pre-cum and moaning at the taste when it slides down onto my tongue.

“If you keep doing that with your tongue… Honey you’re going to make me..” His chest heaves faster, his cock throbs in my mouth.

I remove my hands from my shorts, this time using both of my hands to caress him up and down while I stare into his eyes.

“Come for me Alessio, let me see how good my mouth makes you feel” A last and erotic moan comes from him and I soon feel warmth coating my hands and lips, some of it landing on his abdomen.

“Oh God..” His tip leaks more when I kiss his tip to finish him off. I wipe the cum from my thumb with my tongue as he watches me with hooded eyes and parted lips with heavy pants as I use my tongue to clean him up.

The sweat from his forehead makes his hair stick, his cock falls back and lays on his lower abdomen as he tries to catch his breath.

When I get up from the floor “I’ll give you a pillow next time” I find him looking at the redness of my knees and the pain of the floor now hitting me as I stand up.

“The pain was worth it, if it means seeing you come like that” The slight pain in my throat also kicks in the more I talk, after he’s done putting his shirt back on, he hands me a water bottle.

“D-Did you mean it? When you said you wanted me to..” Alessio would never allow himself to cuss and I wanted to hear him say everything he was told not to in his low voice.

“I guess we’ll have to wait and, but for now. Stick to thinking of me when you’re trying to get rid of this” I slide my hand down the band of his sweats over his cock which is growing hard yet again.

“Honey.. this won’t help me focus on studying” The more I look at his neck, the more I wonder why I haven’t left any marks there yet.

“I’m just leaving you with a parting gift, is that so wrong?” I stop my hand from moving anymore.

“You truly are a sin of your own” I reach up so I’m close to his ear.

“As long as I’m your favorite then I don’t mind.”

-  Bare with me, I haven’t written smut in so long it’s still a bit off.

• Also! Thank you all so much for 1 million reads! Sending love & hugs your way!

chapt 19 • Shameful Nights

I still had at least ten days before Grandma came to visit but she decided on a surprise visit.

“When are you going to cover those up?” She says as I push the covers off my body from my afternoon nap which she disrupted.

“They’re permanent” She sends burning glares at my tattoos and the small shorts and thin shirt that hide absolutely nothing.

“I still don’t understand why you’ve done that to yourself, I never really understand why anyone would want to ruin something Christ has worked so hard on perfecting” She continues to hang up the paintings of Jesus and the small figurines.

If she didn’t despise tattoos so much, I’m sure she’d get one of Jesus on her face or even one across her forehead explaining that she is a believer.

“I tried to meet with the pastor you are seeing to view what you two discuss but the man wouldn’t even meet me nor share any of the information. I thought it was rude, I have the right to know what my granddaughter is discussing.”

“I personally don’t like him, though I have yet to meet him. I can already tell what a disrespectful person he used to be before turning his life over to God” She shakes her head at the floor, but I only listen to the part she mentions that Adam hasn’t said a word not even to the council.

“He’s not for you to like” I step into the white, fluffy slippers waiting for me next to my bed.

“I did however meet Carter’s son, what was it… Alessio, that’s right! Such a kind boy he is, respectful as well, a lot of these boys could learn a thing or two from him” I stop when she mentions Alessio.

“Have you gotten the chance to meet him before?”

I’ve done more than just meet him, I’ve seen all of him. I can still picture each perfectly carved line of his abs, the pure moans that so softly came from him. And the face he makes when he comes is hot enough to melt me altogether.

“Nope, haven’t gotten the chance to meet him before” I lie, not wanting Grandma to know I’ve met or even looked at Alessio before she starts putting her nose in places it doesn’t belong.

“Hmph, I was sure you’d be introduced by now. If you do happen to run into him, please keep those tendencies of yours under control, I wouldn’t want for a person like him to suddenly turn reckless” She says making sure the picture is to her liking not knowing it won’t be there as soon as she leaves.

“God forbid I ruin such a good boy” A little too late for that but why not play along.

She switched the subject, “Your probation will be up soon, so you’ll be free to venture off into town but I do hope you do nothing to jeopardize it and then you’ll be free to visit home during the break”

“Everyone at the church sends their wishes” I know she’s lying, everyone at the church never once looked my way with genuine eyes, it was always whispers and unacceptable stares.

“Yes, I’m sure they all send their wishes that I stay here and never step foot in their church.”

“Your father sends his greetings too” I almost scoffed while I was readying my bag.

“It would be nice if he called to say that but I’m sure his new friend is far more important” It was easier to accept that he would put his business and others above me than to sit around and wait for him to give me the attention a daughter would want from her father.

“Why don’t you try and call him yourself? The phone works both ways, Honey.”

“Because I get the same recorded message every time so I don’t and when he does call me, it’s only to remind me what a terrible student I am and how his company magically started thriving as soon as he sent me across the world.”

“It was only stressful for him, to see you go through something and not be able to help” She begins to make excuses for him as she always has, defending my father’s shitty behavior.

“Yes because instead of trying to understand your daughter, you let her watch different women enter your house at night months after her mother died” Grandma stops what she’s doing.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about” She dismisses as she always does.

My father was no saint but Grandma always viewed him as one. It always put me into a state of confusion about how she could turn him into the good guy. Father did drink which Grandma views as a disgusting addiction but didn’t once shame him when she found out he drank.

“Your reckless mouth will get you into more trouble than it already has, I’ve tried.. we’ve all tried to accept what you have but we cannot, I cannot accept something so shameful, something that’s ruined our family..” She held the doorknob, not a word spoken between us.

“You were far too young to understand then and you’re still young now. Instead, you need to focus on God to help you with your deviant behavior.”

“I’ll be seeing you next month, try not to find yourself in any trouble until then” She turned the doorknob and shut it, leaving me standing by my closet with irritation written all over me, something she was a pro at doing.

—

Charolette, Quinn, and I were all outside, sitting underneath the tallest tree.

Charolette hadn’t been back since her parents came to visit, then took her back home only for her to return two days after, since then, Charolette hasn’t built her courage to go and speak to Astra.

“I’m not saying that I don’t want to speak to her.. my parents said some pretty hurtful things while I was with them and now I’m overthinking” her lip quivered while she played with the ruffles at the end of her dress.

“Who knew the Headmaster’s son could be so hot but distant,” Quinn says now looking at the sleek limousine that appeared.

I look in the same direction and watch Alessio and his father step out of the vehicle when the driver opens it for them both to exit from either side.

“What do you mean by distant?” I ask, solely keeping my eyes on him when he stands there as his father speaks to the driver.

“I mean I’ve never seen him hang out with anyone else but himself and a book. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever heard him talk” Then she sits up and blocks my view of him with a smile on her face.

“But I’m sure just like everyone here, you also find him attractive from how hard you were staring at him during our lecture. I’m not one to forget” The pencil sits neatly in her nice curls.

“Oh yeah!” Charolette chimes in this time, “Any luck with him becoming your tutor?” she lies on her stomach, now messing with the fabric of the blanket we’re resting on.

I can’t tell them about our deal, let alone the fact that Alessio is my tutor since he would like to keep it between us only. I catch a glimpse of him when he enters the main building.

Luckily for me, Quinn spoke before I could, “I doubt you had any right? I mean half of everyone has tried to sign up to be tutored by him since he’s automatically qualified because of how fucking smart he is but he doesn’t even decline or accept the offers”

“Maybe he likes keeping to himself, or he’s just really shy and isn’t a social person. I sucked at speaking to people when I first came here, the only reason why we’re friends is that I didn’t know I had a roommate and walked into you in a towel in the bathroom” Charolette recalled which made Quinn begin to laugh.

“Other than that, the only person who’s constantly tried to speak to him is Madelyn. I don’t know what it is but she’s probably the reason no one’s ever seen him eat in the dining hall like the rest of us, she use to try and walk with him in the halls but the second the bell rings it’s like he vanishes before she can even stand up from her seat.”

“Madelyn?” Quinn nods.

“I can’t count the number of times she’s volunteered to be his partner on things even when everyone knows he works alone” That explains why she was like that when I mentioned us being partners on an assignment.

“She sounds obsessive,” I think back to how she wanted to know where his room was. And the looks she gave me when I found them in the library and how close she tried to get.

“Well I’m sure they’ve met before that, her family is really important somehow and she believes it makes her invincible to everything” Charolette then got up and brushed off her dress.

“I’m going to Astra’s room now, I owe her an explanation on why I haven’t spoken to her since I came back” she bit the side of her lip and went off into the building. Quinn is distracted staring at Diego flirting with a girl to notice her leaving.

I told her I was going to be late to meet Pastor Adam but I don’t think she heard me.

—

“Your Grandmother is very persistent when it comes to you. I didn’t get to meet her but I did hear her asking for any notes I’ve taken during our sessions” Pastor Adam sits across from me, his leg crossed and his ankle resting on his knee.

“Be grateful you didn’t meet her, she’d probably talk your ear off on how I’m not a strong believer like her and how my nymphomania is a sickness that I’ve somehow brought upon myself” He lifts his black coffee mug to take a drink.

“Thanks, for not ever sharing what we discuss.”

“To get you to open up, I need your trust. Again this is entirely between us, as long as you show up that’s all they’ll know” He assures, placing the mug back down next to the small timer ticking next to him.

“You know, you’re not at all like the pastor you’d find if you were to walk into a church, I’m sure they wouldn’t have an arrow tattoo on their wrist” I spot the ink peeking underneath his rolled-up sleeve.

“Then I’m sure you know that I was once your age as well, and I wasn’t a faith-believing man.”

“I didn’t take you for the impulsive type, always pinned you for some… stuck up brat” I face the ceiling as I lay on my back on the couch, my response causing him to chuckle.

“Well I did indeed have parents who spoiled me but that’s because they were always traveling so I was left alone with no worries about being told what I was doing was wrong,” He tells me, tapping his index finger on his chin.

“Ah so you’re an only child as well, you know Adam I think we might have a lot in common” I mess with the duvet resting on my stomach.

“I mean you’re not dealing with a sex addiction but maybe we connect on some things” he shakes his head but can’t hide the grin.

“You are very blunt Honey,” I notice that this is the first time I’ve seen him smile.

“What can I say? Life’s too short to keep back your true feelings, so might as well just say them”  I sit upright.

“When I was sixteen I wanted to be in a band, I like playing learning how to play guitar but never carried on with it” He confesses. “I loved guitars since I was six”

“When I was six I was a ballerina, I loved it. It’s the only thing I think I can say I enjoyed.”

“Enjoyed?”

“I stopped after my mother died, it was her favorite thing to see me do and after that, I didn’t enjoy it at all after that, because it reminds me of… never mind. I didn’t think I would even share that much.”

“I’m glad you did, it means we’re getting somewhere little by little. Progress” He gave me a smile making the faint wrinkles around his mouth show but I didn’t return the gesture.

“It’s not like I don’t want to think about her. Every time I do, I just remember everyone who’s trying so hard to forget her and when they look at me all they see instead of me is her and all that she’s done when she was my age” I think back to Grandma’s visit.

I still don’t know what she could’ve done to get everyone to see her the way they did and do. How worse her nymphomania was than mine and what she went through…

“Can we cut this short?” We still had thirty minutes left but I didn’t want to talk about this anymore or be in this session anymore.

“Sure. No problem” I got up in a hurry, “If you want to continue at any time, just knock” I thanked him again and shut the door.

—

“Honey? I didn’t know we were meeting”— I cut him off with my lips, taking his hands and putting them on my hips and pushing myself into him and shutting the door with my back.

I sunk my teeth into his bottom lip, needing to hear his soft moan, the sound traveling straight to my center. When I pulled away he looked at my attire and his perfectly shaped eyebrows pulled into confusion.

The dark red mini skirt with two thin straps on either side of my hips and the matching long-sleeved top that stopped underneath my breast.

“I broke my probation if that’s what you’re wondering” I ran into Quinn while she was going to get ready for the frat party and made the impulsive decision to go with her until we got there and I regretted it fully.

Luckily I couldn’t recognize anyone there.

“I thought you didn’t like parties?” His hands never left my waist.

“I don’t, I don’t like parties. I just.. needed to take my mind off a few things and I wasn’t thinking..” I finally then looked at the corner of the room, heavyweights were set on the floor and then I noticed the sweat coming from his forehead and that his glasses weren’t on.

“Holy fuck were you working out?” How the fuck did I just notice that he was shirtless?

The din lighting in his room still allowed me to see each rippling muscle, his nice arms, and how well the light hit each inch of his body.

“.. I needed to get some things off of my mind as well and painting wasn’t helping” I dropped my eyes to the sweat covering his chest and abs and I was ready to drop my underwear for this man.

“Somethings? Like what?” I look further down to see him in gray sweats which are rolled up lowly on his hips and I feel my heart begin to beat.

“Yesterday… I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what happened and I tried cold showers as you said but that doesn’t help either so I do what I always do when nothing helps me forget when things are on my mind… I workout.”

“Having trouble forgetting my mouth? Or my tongue, or how beautiful my tits are? I like the idea of making you hard at just the thought of me, maybe I should remind you of what you forgot so far if you succeeded” I tugged at the waistband of his sweats.

“But I also like seeing you trying so hard to stop thinking about me because you know how unholy it is of you to be thinking such things” I tease my hand over his lower abdomen, tracing his abs with my index finger.

“Unlike you, I’m not stopping myself from picturing myself on top of you. Sometimes I wonder what position I look prettier in” He sucks in a breath.

“But don’t let me stop you” Before I can go and flop down on his bed, he gently grabs my wrist.

“How do you do it?” I pout my lips, “How do you say such things with such a soft tone”

“Whatever do you mean my words are as holy as they come, I could never imagine saying anything so.. unholy” I lace my voice in sarcasm.

“Lying is a sin” His voice dips lower.

“So is everything we’ve done so far but it’s nothing compared to what we’re going to do” I slide my hand over the top of his sweats.

“I should. um, shower and then we can continue” He grabbed a towel from his closet and I went up behind him, taking in how sexy his back muscles look as they contrast with each movement.

“I can always come with, save some water” His face began to heat up.

I have to keep reminding myself that he isn’t ready yet, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about it. Whenever he did decide he was ready, I was going to make it worth all the wait and painfully aroused nights.

“But I guess we can save that, for now. I’ll be out here” I flop down on his bed and feel the softness of his gray sheets.

“I-I won’t take long..” He shuts the door to his bathroom, and I have to stop myself from wondering what Alessio looks like in the shower, his glasses off and his hair drenched in water along with droplets sliding down his body.

I shut my legs quickly as I start to feel myself grow wet. By his desk are his opened bible and the cross necklace lying between the opened pages.

When he came out minutes after, I was quick to toss my arms over his shoulders and felt his palms rest on my lower thigh and lift me into his arms.

I feel him sit on the edge of his bed, causing my skirt to slowly rise my thigh until you get the sight of the black underwear hiding my wetness.

I trail my fingers up his neck to his hair and pull his head to the side, my tongue glides over the soft skin of his neck and he grunts softly when my teeth gently bite into the skin, I continue to repeat the steps until the tanned skin is accompanied by a dark red mark.

I stop to look at it for a second, it nicely contrasts with his skin and tempts me to do more. I start to make one above his collarbone, Alessio’s loud gasps of air fill my ear.

His warm palms squeeze my thigh when my tongue runs lower. “I take that back, I don’t like that you try and forget how I make you feel. I want you to remember it so every time you close your eyes and try and pray, all you can think about is me”

“But next time you workout, invite me. I want to watch” I kiss over the third mark close to his chest. Moving back to look at the work.

“I was right to come here instead, this is so much better.”

• Sorry for the late update, I had trouble with this chapter so I hope you enjoy loves!

chapt 20 • Focus

All heads turned to Adeline standing in the doorway as she motioned and requested me to follow her and take my bag with me.

“The Headmaster is waiting for you in his office” Her heels clicked on the glossy, wood floors with each step she took. Her auburn hair drifted down her back in a tight braid, never once have I seen it down in its natural state.

She opened the door for me and shut it when I entered. Carter Rivers sat behind his desk with his usual attire and cross necklace, besides him was one of the figurines Grandma tried to put in my room which I had to take down and hide them.

“Please take a seat” His eyes haven’t left the papers in front of him, I glance over them quickly and find my name and photo on the top corners.

“These months have gone by fast… the year however is still not over and we still have a time before it is up. But, due to your recent raise in academic grades and feedback from your Professors, and the request from your Pastor… the council has decided to lift your probation” He turns the paper over with his signature at the bottom.

“This is only a two-month probation lift, they want to see your behavior first before they fully lift it. I sent a copy out to your parents and they returned it disagreeing with the decision but you are old enough to sign things in your name” I’m not surprised to hear neither Grandma nor Father wanted me to have my freedom, still trying to control me though I’m across the sea from them.

I sign my name underneath his, “You can start going out starting Saturday. If we see your improvement in academics stay the same or rise, then we’ll take off the probation permanently. If you fail to meet the requirements then the probation will continue”

“This is giving me nostalgia, do you have this same message pre-recorded or something?” Carter makes no effort to roll his eyes or crack a smile, just an extremely blank stare.

“One day you’re going to laugh, it’s good for the soul just like prayers” He reaches for his bible and waits for me to leave when I get up from the chair and make my way to the door.

“See you in another two months” I shut the door, Adeline was still waiting for me outside the door.

“Since you’ve become one of my sister’s friends, her priorities seem to be elsewhere. Our parents don’t appreciate her focusing on things that are unimportant” Her hands are just braced in front of her, her tone strict but soft, but not as soft as Charolette’s voice.

“Is this your way of saying you want me to stop being her friend?”

“I want you to stop distracting her, our parents are really worried for her” I move past her.

“I’m sure they are” She catches on to my tone, her eyebrows squint together.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Try talking to your sister for once, as her sibling instead of as the Headmaster’s assistant” I leave her there, stunned. I can hear her call me to explain what she means and I walk away to let her figure it out on her own.

—

This is why I never call him.

“Hello?” The woman’s voice came through the phone. “Who is this?” I haven’t said anything since I heard her voice when she picked up.

“Who is it?” I hear my father in the background, the woman explaining she doesn’t know.

“Hello?” Now it’s his voice and I’m fisting the material of my skirt and Pastor Adam sits across from me with a wondering look.

“I’m going to guess she isn’t one of your midnight friends is she?” Father then realizes it’s me.

“Honey? God, why are you calling at this hour? Don’t you have some study hall to attend?”

“Yes, I’m happy I called you too. I love hearing how happy my father is when his daughter calls him” My sarcastic tone doesn’t go unnoticed by Adam, a short look of apologies spread in his eyes.

“Honey, you know I call you. Is there a reason why you’re calling me?” Sometimes I can’t even believe that the man on the other side of the phone is my father at all.

“I need a reason to call you?.. Never mind, if you must know. Grandma thought it would be a good idea if I tried calling you for once since she told me how much you miss me and how much you want to speak to me.. but I guess she imagined the last part due to old age” I briefly look at Adam, he looks like he wants to say something but doesn’t.

“Baby? Can you come back?” I hear the woman say and father heavily sighs.

“You should go back, she’s more of a priority right?” I don’t give him the chance to say anything before I hang up the phone and set it back on Adam’s desk.

“Well, now you know what a piece of shit my father is” I give him a fake smile.

He glances at my fist that rests on my knees, “How do you let go of all your pent up feelings?”

“I ignore them.”

He reaches over for his bag, pulling out a notebook with the decorative design Honey on top. “Well then try this” he hands me the dark shade of red-colored book.

“You want me to write in a diary?”

“No, I want you to try journaling. It’s unhealthy trying to ignore what you’re feeling. If you don’t acknowledge them it’ll only bother you more” I open the book, blank pages awaiting the ink of my pen and the mess of words in my head.

“It’s only for you, you don’t have to show anyone. It’s for your eyes and your eyes only, and whenever you’re ready… if you’ll ever be ready to share it with someone, that’s all up to you.”

“Do you have one of these?” This time he takes out another notebook, this one older and bulkier.

“Is it all about your feelings?” His book is in a nice shade of sage green, the color slightly dimming but kept its form.

“No, it’s also words that I never got to or can’t say to people. That’s the fun in it, express yourself in words where you can’t in speech” he shot me a smile and handed me a pen.

Then the timer begins to ring, “I didn’t take your favorite color to be sage green” I grab both the book and the pen and go over to the door.

“It’s not, I actually can’t stand this color” His eyes are on the book, and a small smile coats his face before he wishes me goodbye.

Madelyn begins to approach me but instead of her usual faulty smile, her arms are crossed.

“Do you know my brother?” Her eyes scan over me and the notebook in my hand.

“Refresh my memory?” I kindly ask her.

“Victor, you came to the party yesterday and I saw you two talking about something” Now that she mentions his name, I vividly remember this conversation.

“We’ve met on occasions, that wouldn’t be a problem would it?” She uncrosses her arms.

“Of course, it wouldn’t be, I was just wondering if anything is going on between you two?”

“I’m sure that’s a question he can answer, no?” I can see the anger starting to rise in her eyes as she tried to hide it.

“If something is going on between you too then just make sure you don’t get him into anything, our family won’t help you if you get into trouble” She turns and starts to walk off before spinning around and stopping.

“Can you tell Alessio I said hi if you see him? I can’t find him anywhere” She happily spins down the hall until she’s out of my sight.

—

I’ve been staring at a blank sheet for half an hour. Adam forgot to mention how hard it is to write out your feelings when you try and pretend like they aren’t there.

Then my mind went to my parents, then a lot of how and what questions were being written down and then other questions to mother on what in the world she ever saw in him. Then I tossed the notebook aside, not liking the running emotions trying to flood their way throughout my body.

“Is this all you do in your free time? Read, paint, study, write poetry, and work out?” There was nothing wrong with that, in fact, I thought it was indeed hot, but I had yet to see him doing anything else.

“Should I be doing something else?” He flips the next page in his textbook. “I mean we all have something that keeps us busy when there’s nothing to do”

“I masturbate and read porn, so I guess so” He pauses in his reading then continues.

“Y-You can’t say things like that here” He mentions that we were in a library and anyone could walk in and hear us but knows not one person in this school except him and I know that the academy even has a library.

“Is it making you hard? The thought of me touching myself” I’m behind him while he sits down, my arms around his shoulders, my lips close to his ear.

“I can invite you next time, so you can watch. It’ll make imagining you touching me instead, so much easier” I run my hand down his shoulder, down his chest until I reach his belt.

“Honey.. we can’t do this here, besides I really n-need to study this” I see the mark on his neck I left yesterday being covered by the collar of his shirt.

“No one will see us, don’t let me distract you” I kiss over the red mark.

“I don’t think that’s possible, you’re a distraction even when you’re not around me” he muttered, my hand still wandering over his belt.

His phone catches our attention, he hurries to pick up the phone and acknowledges that it’s his father calling him, when he hangs up, he puts his phone in his bag along with his books.

“My father needs to see me, I don’t know how long it’ll take.. if you’re not asleep by then, maybe I can stop by your room? And we can study together?” He stands up, his height effortlessly towering over mine.

“We both know if you come to my room we won’t be studying?”

“We have to remember that I’m still helping you pass your lectures and I feel like I haven’t been doing so. So we should use this week to study” I admire the uniform jacket that goes along with his outfit, and how good he can make them look.

“If that’s what you want. Then we’ll study this week, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little bit of fun” I toy with his shirt a little bit.

“We need to focus and we can’t do that… if you tease me like this.”

“Like what?” I graze my fingers on the leather of his belt.

“Honey..” I stop messing with his shirt and give up, realizing that he’s completely serious.

“Fine” I grab my bag and move away from him, “Just remember, you asked for this” I left the library and went back to my room.

We were back to square one, trying my hardest not to get all horny around him and focus on what he was trying to help me with. Studying for lectures I couldn’t care less about and controlling myself even more.

I could do this, though it’s killing me. I’ve never had to wait for sex. At the same time, it was helping me control my urges to grab some random guy and use him for my pleasure and stop the feeling of disgust that washes over me right after.

It was better than taking the pills, the same pills that were supposed to help me made it hard to even find sleep at night.

I shut the journal for the thirtieth time today, and opened my door, Alessio standing outside with a couple of textbooks.

“You’re really serious about this” I let him in.

We begin to start with the first textbook until we hit the third then a couple of his notes, but I can’t concentrate when his legs are parted as if they’re inviting me in and how soothing his voice is when he reads or explains something I don’t understand.

“I think I’d understand more if you let me sit on your lap” He threaded a hand through his hair and took ahold of his cross necklace.

“I promise to make this week as interesting as possible, no matter how hard you try and ignore my words. I’ll always get your attention elsewhere” He glanced down at the bulge building in his slacks and clutched the cross necklace tighter.

I remove the book from his hands and begin to read the information. If this was going to be hard for me, I wasn’t going to make this easy for him.

• Thank you for 90k follower’s 🤍.

chapt 21 • A Much Better Lesson

The water fell over my face, over the tip of my nose down to wash the soap off of my body.

It’s gotten to a point where touching myself isn’t satisfying enough. My self-control was deteriorating slower and slower. As if I were close to finishing just for it to stop and kept leading me on to a painful end.  

Alessio and I have been actually “studying”  for the past two days and it’s been killing me.

It’s never been easy to deny my sexual urges, simply because I’ve always given in. But now, it feels like I’m on some sort of sex ban because there’s only one person I truly want to fuck and I can’t do that because he’s is far away from being ready and probably hasn’t even seen a pair tits in his life.

I feel like dying now, the image of Alessio’s blushing face fills my head if I were to show him my tits for the first time clouds my mind.

It was so easy to think about the dirtiest things to do and show him, and harder to ignore the way I wanted to walk to his room right now and have, loud, hot and wet shower sex with him.

Fuck.

I turn off the water and walk in front of the mirror to study my body. It was obvious my body turned him on and he hadn’t seen all of it yet. Clear as day Alessio Rivers liked dirty talk and amounts of praise to acknowledge that he was learning well.

There was no telling when he’d be asking me the four words I’ve been craving to hear. Four words that would solve all the pain I’ve been putting my body through.

Trying to clear my head of him, and the thought of him. I found the ruby red journal lying on one of my pillows, the book that hasn’t felt the smoothness of the ink of my pen today.

My phone next to it lights up, two blocked numbers show up on the screen.

Both Father and Grandma haven’t stopped calling and leaving voicemails since Father’s mistress answered the phone last time, I know for a fact it isn’t calling to apologize and she’s calling to defend him and keep her perfect son-in-law image of him in her mind.

I pick up the journal instead, the first three pages are filled with words I can’t say to my mother and how much I wish she was here calling me instead.  The next two are for father, words I’ve said before, and words he’s said that leave dents and holes in my chest. Then to Grandma, asking her questions, wondering how she could treat her daughter as if she was nothing.

Reading over the words, my room grew cold. I close it and put it deep in my closet where the rest of the things I want no one to find hide.

Changing into my uniform and shutting the door of my room, leaving my ringing phone on my pillow.

“Honey Rose” A woman approaches me with a package, “Here you go” I take it from her and she takes off before I can say anything.

The package was sent by father, opening it, they were dresses and necklaces and a note of him asking me to call him back. I took the note and crumbled it, tossing it in the nearest trash can.

Father would always apologize with his money and never with his words, I would toss away the dresses but they were too pretty to give up. He definitely hadn’t seen the dresses before sending them to me because he would have sent me something that was longer, these were picked out by a woman who had a taste for clothes.

I took the clothes to my room and left them with the rest of the dresses he’s sent as an apology.

The halls were clear today, exams were coming up and everyone was either actually studying or trying to figure out a way to cheat. When exams come around, Hartford places a minimum limit on how long and how many times you’re allowed to go into town, most of the hours are just in your room and books and projects around you.

I couldn’t see Adam because he wasn’t in today, leaving me a note at his office that he would be back tomorrow or the day after but I should feel free to leave him any words so he could get back to me as soon as he came back.

He was the only adult in my life that was sorta patient with me. With Grandma, she tried many ways to force me to speak to pastors and other God worshiping people about my “terrible diagnosis” as she calls it and Father was never one to listen.

I wasn’t going to tell Adam everything, I barely met him and though he was a kind man, I can’t find myself trusting him completely though he’s trying his hardest to earn my trust.

Which was incredibly new to me and I didn’t know how to feel about it.

—

While he was in his room, making sure I understood the material by correcting my papers, I was in his jacuzzi with the blue light inside of the pool. Until I got bored and went back inside without my towel.

Sliding his door closed, he didn’t turn to acknowledge me. He kept his attention on my papers in front of him. I placed the dry towel on one of his chairs and sat down, not wanting it to get wet from the dripping water.

“I know what you’re doing” Alessio spoke, not even looking up from my paper he began grading.

“Whatever do you mean?” My chair was close to his now, the water dripping from my neck, in between my breasts.

“I was serious when I said we need to focus…”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I’m more than focused. Seems like your head is the one stuck somewhere else when it should be stuck between my legs— I mean between those books” I see him bite his lower lip a little before handing me back my sheet of paper.

“It’s almost too easy” I gesture to his blushing face, then my eyes scan over what he marked correct and what he marked incorrect.

“You’re getting better at applying the terms, I think we should go over them more for practice” I take away both his books and my papers and put them on the desk, and then I move in between his legs making his head lift to look at me.

“Don’t you think it’s time for a break? I mean we’ve been working so hard, maybe we should relax each other” I trace my finger over his jaw, down his neck to his collar.

“You seem tense, is something wrong?” I move my hands down to his shoulders.

“I’m fine, it’s just the exams” I could see that he was lying, he and I both knew he would pass them without a blink of an eye.

“I find that very hard to believe” My knee grazes the inside of his thigh, Alessio closes his eyes for a second and inhales before he spins his chair and scoots closer to the desk, and throws open a book.

“W-We should get back to this, we have a lot to catch up on”—

“We can finish this later, right now. I think we should study something else, no? Something far more entertaining” The idea finds its way into my head.

“Something like what?”

“My body, exploring the human body is important. I can teach you everything you need to know in a matter of minutes” My hand finds his and lifts it in front of my lips.

“My favorite lesson is pleasing my body. With your fingers, and your tongue, and your dick but that’s for another time. First, you have to see my body before you can know how to make me feel good” The room starts to heat, my body and my mind begin to grow on the same page.

“Honey I- I’ve never seen… I don’t… Are you sure that you..” Alessio’s chest begins to race, rising and falling.

“Wanna help? I don’t mind you undressing me at all” I bend over closer to his ear, “I told you we all have our own dirty fantasies”

“You happen to be my favorite” I stand properly, the small traces of droplets still coating my body, and my hair slightly becoming wavy as the air in the rooms dries it.

My tits are on perfect display in the black bikini which gives him a perfect view of my body. Each tattoo in front of him and my waiting skin which craves his attention.

I rest his hand beneath my breast, his touch is warm compared to the cold droplets. “I really want a tattoo here, and another one on my lower back. I hear they look fucking hot from the back”

I feel him grow hard when my knee brushes his inner thigh again. “Just imagine how pretty I would look riding you, your hands grabbing my tits and how soft they are in your hands”

“W-Why are you saying this? It’s not helping” I see him drop his eyes to my breast, then my nipples feel the heated scan when he takes a look at how hard they are for him.

“Because I like making you blush. I like knowing that I make you so hard that you can’t even think about anything else but my body and how pretty my lips look around you” I move my hands to my back, reaching for the strings holding my top together.

Without knowing, Alessio bites on his fist as he watches me, slowly pulling one of the strings, causing the straps on my shoulder to slide down my shoulder. I catch my boobs in my hand and he clenches his jaw when I sit on his lap.

When I drop the top onto his lap, I can hear the groan come from the back of his throat. The sound is almost like a plead and beg and causes my clit to begin throbbing.

I lift both his hands again, placing them at my chest and he freezes completely, “Are y-you sure this i-is okay?”

I continue to give him permission and he grasps both of my breasts in his hands causing my head to slightly fall back, my tits which have been aching for his touch finally feel satisfied but not quite as now they want to feel the softness of his mouth around them.

“Oh.. my..” That is all that comes from his mouth, when he subconsciously squeezes them, I moan and watch his eyes turn darker when I do.

I direct his hands over them the way I like, and how to press down on my tits. Teaching him how to graze his thumb over my right nipple before pinching it softly.

“Oh Fuck” I turn breathless, I’m sure he can feel my arousal through the thin material of the bikini briefs.

“Do that again” I instruct and he listens, I feel my body overcome with pleasure it’s been begging for, now wanting him to lift me on his desk and use his tongue over my throbbing clit.

He hasn’t taken his eyes off of me like he enjoys the faces and noises I make and it only makes me so much wetter.

“C-Can I show you what I read?” He asks for consent to go on and I nod my head as if it’s the only thing I can do right now.

He leans in, his plump lips close around my tit and it’s enough to cause me to grab onto his shirt and roll my eyes back when I feel his tongue lay flat against my nipple, and the other hand hasn’t stopped its own torture.

“Where the fuck did you..” I get cut off when his hips buck up and his hardness is pressed directly into me.

“I… I read it in the newest book you gave me and thought.. that you might like it. Do you?” Did he not hear me? Or did he just like being told that his tongue was becoming skilled by the minute?

He’s a reassurance seeker and I was going to give him all the reassurance he wants.

“I um, I like hearing you like this.. it makes me want to do it more” Holy fucking shit.

I can tell I’m not dreaming right now and if I am someone makes sure I don’t wake up.

“Isn’t this way better than studying? You can do as much as you like, make me sound good for you” I grind myself down on him when he does it again to my other nipple, first he places a kiss and then lets his tongue take over.

“You’re so beautiful Honey” I hear him say and stiffen for a second.

Beautiful?

I ignore the comment and continue to move my body along his.

My eyes are closed and my arms are on his shoulders, the friction underneath us is teasing me all the way to the end. His hands-on my hips and his fingers are resting on my back dimples, he explores them more.

“I-I like these, a lot” His thumb runs over them and stays there. His large hands are so kind to my body, and my body wants every moment of it.

When I move faster, I feel the stimulation grow more and more and grow worse as his tongue moves around my nipple and his hand squeezes at my other breast.

“Fuck” I let out into the air, my head was back and yet I could feel him studying me. Making sure he knew what exactly made me sound and feel like this as if he took notes in his head.

When I let go, it felt like my body was finally thanking me and letting go of the pain I had to deal with for the last two days. My hips bucked against his hard and felt him twitch as I came.

Alessio is the only guy I have ever been with to make me cum just by dry humping and making me want to do it again and again until we can finally feel each other when he’s ready.

He held my hips and became hypnotized by the way my breast mimicked the speed of his own chest as he watched my face and listened to my moan as I came undone.

When I calmed down, I pulled his shirt and brought us into a heated kiss. My tongue mixed with his hand, my teeth biting on his lower lip and teasing it all together.

“You have no idea how badly, I want you to fuck me until neither of us can take it anymore. Or how much I wonder how you look between my thighs.”

• You may think I’m not suffering with you guys, I haven’t written such a build up like this at all but it’s so fun to see you guys die for their official smut scene :)

chapt 22 • Trapped

“You seem to be in an extremely cheerful mood today” Adam hands me a water bottle and his sage green journal rests in his hands.

“Something interesting happened?”

“Nothing but loads of studying” I open the cap of the cold water.

“I’ve never seen anyone be so joyful about studying, you must be working hard” I try to hide my laugh and manage a nod.

“You have no idea, I’ve been working extremely hard, it’s getting painful” Adam can’t tell that I’m talking about something completely different from studying, but technically I am studying.

Studying every way to make Alessio hard.

“Have you started to write something?” His eyes drop to the journal in my hand.

“I have” I open the book to the first pages and see my slight cursive handwriting.

“At first I couldn’t and gave up a few times.”

“I’m really glad to hear that. You’re trying and that’s all that matters” His smile was genuine, he didn’t ask what I wrote, just appreciated that I tried his method.

“God you seem happier than me” I joke and he laughs and uncrosses his leg.

“Happy that’s new, What about it makes you happy?”

“It’s kinda a mix, just depends on who I write about. When it’s my mother I’m happy, when it’s my father, I feel like shit” I play with the black, silk bookmark in the middle of the book.

“Who do you write to?” I ask him, “I mean you have to be writing to someone right?”

“Everyone has someone they wish they could say the world to right?”

“Do you miss them? You speak so highly of them, I don’t think I’ve ever seen your eyes light up like they just did” I point out and he shakes his head.

“Are you interrogating me now?” I let out a small laugh and shrug.

“Maybe I don’t want to talk about me anymore, so we’ll talk about you besides I do your job better than you do. Don’t you think so?” He rolls his eyes.

“If you must know, I do miss them. A lot, as studying pains you, missing them pains me” I don’t say anything, prying isn’t what I wanted but I did.

“I don’t mind telling you Honey, I can read your face right now, and trust me, I don’t mind that you asked. We open up to each other, that’s how this goes” He reassures, and I just drink from my bottle and close the cap.

“I’m sure they miss you too.”

“You’re not so bad when you’re sympathetic” This time he makes me roll my eyes.

“And you’ve ruined it” I toss a pen at him and he only leans his head back to laugh, mixing the sound of his laughter with the sound of the timer ringing in both of our ears.

“This is the first and last time I’ll ever say something nice to you,” I tell him when I reach the wooden door.

“Good luck with your exams this week” Our expressions match and he bids me goodbye.

—

When I first got here, I wanted to do anything to be kicked out. And now I’m trying to pass the exam in front of me, remembering each little note I made from studying Alessio’s notes.

I finish within thirty minutes, the Professor giving us an hour for extra time seems shocked when I stand in front of him with my paper and a smile on my face.

“You may return to your seat for the remainder of the session.”

“May I take a break?” The polite tone in my voice almost caused Adeline’s stiff body beside the Professor’s desk to shift as she oversees the rest of the students taking the exam.

“You may” The Professor begins to correct my paper and I leave the room with my phone in hand.

Though the halls are empty, I make sure no one sees me entering the closet door down the very far end of the hall.

I never have to worry about the cameras since their old, they stay in one spot and don’t move and only catch the view of the lockers and the building doors and the classroom doors.

I shut the door behind me, “Should we be doing this right now? What if someone notices we’vegone for too long?”

The cramped room causes Alessio’s tall frame to be close to mine, I peer up to him and grab his tie and pull him closer even though he’s close already.

“Then stop talking” I connect our lips, I can tell he likes the new cherry lip gloss I started to use when he tries to kiss me harder.

His body is hard against mine but his lips are soft, I feel addicted to them and how they move against mine perfectly.

I notice the difference in length in his hair and pull away for a second. “Did you cut it?” I ask and he tells me he has.

“Don’t cut it anymore, I like it longer. It makes it easier to pull on how you like” I run my fingers through his hair softly, the softness of his hair brushing on my fingers.

He nods his head, his eyes look desperate for me to kiss him again and I tease his bottom lip with my index finger, I glance down to the red mark now beginning to fade underneath his collar.

Alessio paused at the steps passing the room we were locked in, “Relax, it’s just you and me” I braced my hands on his chest, leaning up to reach his neck, and began to remark my lips on his sensitive spot.

He raised his head to give me better access, I could feel his body heat against mine. He let out a small groan and I covered his mouth when the pair of footsteps came back and disappeared.

“I can’t leave like this” He spoke about his bulge that was pressing hard against my thigh.

“I could always get rid of it for you” I whispered over the fresh red mark.

“W-We can’t, someone might hear, hear me” Just as he said that, his father’s voice was heard close to the door and what sounded like a conversation on the phone.

Alessio spun me around making my back hit his front and covered my mouth with his hand to hide the surprised squeal that almost came from me.

His father’s voice was muffled because of the door, but it was clear that he was in an important conversation with whoever was on the phone.

My chest was falling almost rapidly, Alessio’s bulge was hard against my ass. My shifting movements directly on it only caused him to use his right hand and grab my waist on instinct.

“W-What are you doing?” He bent down to my ear but I didn’t respond, he straightened out again and I continued to move my ass on him.

I could feel his chest rise and fall as my head leaned directly on it. His hand tightened on my waist and I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip as he leaned back down to use my shoulder to cover the sounds trying to escape from him.

His father was still outside, no clue that his son was unraveling right behind this door. Clueless that I was ruining his son with each waking moment and more.

I was being turned on just knowing I was the reason Carter’s perfect son who hasn’t said a single curse word in his life was fighting the urge not to make a sound because I was touching him in ways he was taught was an unforgivable sin.

If Alessio thought his hand that was holding my waist was going to help him, he was lying to himself. I guide his hand under my shirt, over my stomach as he grazes the silver belly button ring and silver chain attached to it.

I pushed back into him, this time I let a moan fall into his palm that’s gently over my mouth still. Placing my hand back on his thigh and moving my ass slowly against him.

Alessio let all his pants fall into my neck, “You’ll get us caught” he says as his face is still buried in my neck when I begin to wish he was buried between my legs instead.

I close my eyes softly, pushing back into him more. “I’m not the one moaning every two seconds now am I?” I whisper back to him and he moans in my neck again.

His hard-on isn’t going away anytime soon and his father’s conversation seems to just have peaked to the matter.

“I can’t help it… not when you move against me like that…” His hand which is still splayed on my stomach slightly crunches, without thinking he pushes us to the door, but not to where we make any noise to alert Carter who’s still outside.

It only gives me more of the opportunity to reach my hand in between us and squeeze him and it makes him subconsciously bite softly on my neck to cover his low moan.

Then his father’s phone call comes to an end and his footsteps fade down the hall.

The quietness of the room fills again along with the heavy breaths of Alessio and me.

I turn around to look at his face which is now covered in a tint of red and seemingly stressed out.

My back is now against the door and he’s towering over me with his lips parted as I pull him down closer to me.

“We can head back now, unless you’d like me to finish what I started” We both knew I couldn’t, if we didn’t go back to class now, someone would begin to start looking for us.

I cracked the door open to see if anyone was on their way in our direction but the halls were still empty. I went first and Alessio waited a few minutes to calm himself before leaving and going the opposite way to his class.

When I returned, everyone was now turning in their papers and Adeline gave me a suspicious glance due to how long my “break” was.

I returned to my seat and Quinn leaned over to me, “Where’d you go? You were practically gone the whole time”

“I just walked around, explored a little.”

—

“I-I did that?” Alessio hasn’t stopped staring at the red mark he’s created on my neck when we were locked in the closet trying to hide from his father.

“Mhm, I like it. Do you like it?” He lifts his thumb to run over it, the still sensitive spot sends a slight tingle down my back.

“I-I do..” The look on his face was one I wish I could capture as if he couldn’t believe he was capable of doing this. It’s the same expression he had the same time he made me cum.

“When.. we finally.. you know” I shake my head as if I don’t know what he’s talking about.

“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me” I tilt my head to the side and he begins to blush.

“Honey.. don’t make me say it, you know what I’m trying to say” he grows nervous, looking down at my lap.

“I promise you I don’t know what you mean, you can say it can’t you?” He bites on his bottom lip when I use my index and middle finger to raise his head to meet my intense gaze.

“W-When we finally.. when you let me.. when you… God, you’re killing me” He drops his head to my shoulder and huffs and I laugh.

I hold his head back up, “You’re going to learn to say it when the time comes, if you can’t then how will I ever know what you want” I let my thumb run down his top and bottom lip, and Alessio stares into my eyes almost memorized.

“I can’t say it as you can.. every time you say it I can’t stop thinking about it… You invade my thoughts even when I’m praying at night” I touch the cross necklace around his neck.

“And what exactly am I doing when I invade such a holy time” This time he grows shy and averts his eyes as if the words are far too sinful to come from his innocent tongue.

I situate myself better on his lap, my arms placed on his shoulders and the lamp illuminating his room fell upon the both of us. His cross necklace stares back at mine like the two have just met and he doesn’t recognize my own.

It was driving me insane every time I squirmed to get comfortable. His cock would only push into me harder than the last. He watched as I got up and sunk to my knees, the coldness of the floor hit me quickly and almost caused me to shiver.

As I did so he stopped me, by standing up and causing me to crane my neck to look at him.

“We’ve talked about this… we agreed not to do anything until you got your results from today” I stand up and cross my arms, his eyes taking a quick look at the top curves of my breast.

“It’s a little too late for that, isn’t it? Or should I remind you about yesterday?” I step close to him, toying with the ends of his shirt.

“Let me ride your thigh until I cum?” I bite my lip at him, my eyes growing wide with lust and his speechless body stills as he swallows nothing but air.

“I-I want to make sure our studying didn’t go to waste… maybe tomorrow” His words came out forced like it was nearly impossible to turn me down.

“Fine, just remember that you made me wait. And I’ve been extremely patient.”

chapt 23 • Parties

“Why haven’t you been taking your medication?” Grandma lifts the orange bottle and examines that the same amount of pills is still inside.

“Because I like being able to sleep at night without waking up fifty different times” I sit on my bed as she starts her own little inspection of my room.

“But you need them to help you, you need to start taking them” She took out a similar pill bottle and placed it next to the filled one.

“They’re expensive and for your own good,” She says as always, another line I’ve heard her say since I can remember.

“So is my ability to fall asleep at night but don’t worry, I’ll give that up for pills that you believe will save me” I put both pill bottles in the cabinet, just for them to stay there and never to be opened. 

“I still haven’t been able to get in touch with that pastor you’re seeing. I’d much rather you see the one at our church instead, at least then I know you’re seeing someone I trust and can actually speak to” She sits on the chair with her purse in her lap.

“I’m sure he’s trying his absolute hardest to meet with you” I close my bathroom cabinet and leave my bathroom.

“Well when you do come home for break, I set up some meetings for you to meet the Pastor at our church and volunteered you to be in the church’s girl group as well” She explains how she’s planning my life without my input.

“That all sounds absolutely terrible and I’m not doing it. I’d rather stay here than go back home and spend my break with prissy church girls with no sense of humor” I grab my brush off of my bed and begin to brush out my hair.

“Your father wants to introduce you to his new friend as well so you must come home” I pause in the middle section of my hair before continuing.

“That gives me another reason to want to stay, there’s absolutely no way in hell I want to meet his new fuck toy of the year” Grandma lets a gasp, her wrinkly hand falling over her mouth.

“You will respect your father and Celeste and you will bring your manners when you meet her in two months. Your foul language will not be tolerated in my home!” She raises a finger and I finish brushing my hair down my back.

“It’s a good thing we aren’t at a retirement home right” I can see anger lighting up her face and she stands up.

“I see so much of her in you, it makes me think I failed terribly.”

“You have failed, you were a shitty mother and you are a shitty grandmother. But it’s no secret” I can almost hear her dentures grinding against each other.

“You will not speak to me like this Honey, you need to learn how to respect the people who have given you a life someone is dying to have” I stifle my laugh with a small humorous sound.

I don’t say anything, I ignore her as if she wasn’t there and go back to fixing my hair. She senses that the conversations are through and she takes her purse. When I hear my door shut, I drop my brush and take a hold of the tiny sun charm that attacked the silver necklace.

—

Sitting on my bed while studying for my next exam wasn’t going well. My mind kept being filled with images and my body was calling for me to touch it and it was stopping me from continuing to focus on the words of the textbook.

I shut it with frustration and put it aside. And before I was able to even do anything, two familiar voices called my name behind my door.

Both Quinn and Charolette stood in my doorway, Quinn with a bright smile on her face and Charolette stood there and gave me a gentle wave. In Quinn’s hand were three zipped-up clothing racks, and I didn’t get the chance to question her before she stepped into my room and laid them on my bed.

“You two have done nothing but study, not an ounce of fun in your life” Her accent was thick with each word, her curls were perfectly set and trimmed down to her shoulders now making it fit her face even better.

Trust me, studying is a lot of fun with the right influence.

“So that’s why I’m taking the liberty since your probation is over and since I know you’ll go because Astra’s going.. we’re going to a party tonight and I’m not taking no for an answer” She began to unzip the material hiding the dresses.

One she handed to Charolette, it was a darker color than what she’d normally wear, red wasn’t something Charolette wore unless it was her lipgloss to match the ribbons she’d tie her hair with. Charolette took the dress with nervous hands and lifted it to her body.

“I don’t know about this, I don’t usually wear red” she looked in my mirror with an unsure face.

Next, she opened her dress and it was a perfect compliment to her, the dress was a nice tan, you could tell it would fit her tight and she smiled at it when she raised it to her body in the mirror.

“Here you go” She handed me my dress, the black was a perfect match to my hair, it was short and I could tell, the thin straps and the soft velvet material were appealing to me, the length of it told me it would reach mid-thigh. Just where I like.

“It’s going to be fine, but the party is later tonight so be ready and don’t forget to cover up with something before you leave and meet me at the building on the far left” She took Charolette’s hand and led them out of my room without a look back and making sure to tell me to be ready as they went back to their room down the hall.

I held the dress up to myself, maybe I should ask a certain person for their opinion first.

—

I looked to the right and the left of the hall, no one in view and I brought my fist up to the door. Soothing out my dress and making sure I looked my best, the door cracked open for me.

My mouth practically was hanging open, Alessio opened the door shirtless, glasses off and body glistening in sweat. Weights set on the side of his bed and black headphones pushing his hair down to catch the sweat off his forehead.

I nearly fell to my knees at the view of his chest and body, muscles that could strangle me with no mercy and I’d record it to see each vein decorating his toned arms. Perfectly cut abs I want to scratch my nails down.

By the time I finally stopped drooling over his body and went to make eye contact with him, he was already looking at my dress which fit my curves perfectly, and how the waves of my hair cascaded down my back with zero effort.

It was already too late to text Quinn and change my mind but making her wait a few minutes wouldn’t be so bad, especially when Alessio Rivers is standing in front of me shirtless after a workout.

“You’re going to the party?” He lets me in, taking a towel and wiping his forehead.

“For a friend, trust me. I’d rather stay and watch you workout and tell you how much it turns me on to hear you grunt but it seems I’m already too late” I hear the shower running in the back.

“Are you sure you want to go? I-I mean I know you don’t like parties so you might not enjoy even being there” I close the gap between us, not liking the space separating us. Placing his hands where the end of my dress stopped, his fingertips grazing up and down the sides of my thighs.

“True but I might find someone else’s lap to sit on tonight” I tease, the heels giving me the height to brush my lips against his.

“Kidding, your lap is the only one for me. But I won’t be gone for too long so try not to miss me, alright?” My phone buzzed and Quinn’s name popped up with three messages asking me what was taking me so long.

I walked to the door but stopped, putting my phone down on the table and going back over to Alessio, his lips looked ready for a kiss but I placed my index finger between us.

“We’re waiting for the exam results, remember, or has my dear tutor forgotten?” I smile and take one last look at him before leaving.

—

The loud beat of the music could be heard an entire street down from the frat house.

People were crowding outside and cars parked along anywhere with a bit of space, a pool on the side of the house, and people inside with their clothes on some just with whatever is underneath their clothes.

Charolette kept her arms crossed and her shy eyes mainly on the ground. I followed Quinn while Charolette followed from the side of me until we got inside of the house which was much larger on the inside.

It was a cliché gray house, filled with college athletes drinking until tomorrow and girls who aren’t their girlfriends besides them and to the side of it, stairs were people making out on the pool table instead of actually using it. Quinn led us into the kitchen for drinks and I declined.

“I don’t drink,” I tell her and she pours the drink from what was supposed to be my cup into hers and Charolette also shook her head but seemed to be looking off everywhere.

The music was loud, I couldn’t hear anything Quinn was saying until she motioned her hand for us to follow her. Squeezing through bodies while the lights were set up to flicker as if no one paid the electricity bill and all I could see was Quinn’s curls bouncing in the crowd.

I looked up to the staircase and there was Hartford’s perfect head-girl, Madelyn DeBlue making out with a guy in his jersey before she opened her eyes as he spun her and she caught sight of me.

Her wild smile dropped and she pushed the guy who only shrugged and downed his drink. I shot her a little knowing smile and she only acted as if she didn’t willingly come and turned around to her friends.

Charolette squealed behind me, when I turned around Astra was standing in front of her looking at her dress and Charolette flushed a color deeper than ever.

“You look pretty in red, you should wear it more often” Astra kissed Charolette and I was being tugged at the arm by someone incredibly close to me.

“You finally came huh? What made you change your mind” Madelyn’s brother held a drink in his hand and his eyes were solely focused on my body.

“I’m not here for you” He chuckled and tugged me closer into him.

From here Madelyn was giving me the death stare, her eyes could shoot knives directly at me. I still haven’t forgotten the fact she’s tried countless times to get Alessio to be alone with her.

I stared back at her, she could tell I was up to something. When I braced my hands on the side of her brother’s face and whispered in his ear that he needed to learn how to take a hint, it looked as if I told him something completely opposite in her eyes when I moved away and kept looking at her until I was walking away to find Quinn.

There were several reasons why I didn’t like parties and why I didn’t drink, one of them was because I couldn’t stand guys who made no effort to hide the fact that they are doing nothing but staring at your tits all the time and because I hated what happened when I was drunk.

I found Quinn but she was already in a conversation with some guys she might’ve known and she gestured for me to come to her. She introduced one of the guys as the other already had said his name before she could even speak.

“You seem so tense, sure you don’t want any?” One of the guys swirled his drink in my face and Quinn pushed his hand away.

“Leave her alone, she doesn’t drink dumbass” I was beginning to think I hadn’t I just told her I randomly felt sick.

“Sorry mate, I’ll leave your friend alone no need to get jealous, you know I only got eyes for you” He mocked her accent and she shoved him and rolled her head to the side and her eyes widened as she looked behind me.

“Holy fucking shit, there’s no fucking way” I turned around to see what she was looking at and I couldn’t believe the sight in front of me.

Alessio entered the front door, looking incredibly out of place. A regular black shirt and matching jeans, his glasses reflected the colors of the lights changing as he scanned around the room. His height was causing him to be taller than most of the athletes.

Half of the girls were gawking over him, including me and I went to walk to him but Madelyn somehow teleported from the top of the stairs in front of him before I could even take a step.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see him here” Quinn’s voice began to drown in my ears while Alessio was ignoring whatever Madelyn was saying and kept looking around the room until he stopped when he found me.

I looked down at his hand, my phone is being held safely in his left hand. There’s no way he came all the way here to bring me my phone.

I excused myself through the crowd, he hadn’t dropped eye contact since he found me in the large crowd that seemed to keep growing. The now changing lights from blue, red, and green flicked down upon us.

“If you don’t mind, I need to talk to my partner” Madelyn’s nostrils flared, as I placed my hands on Alessio’s arms and felt his shoulders relax.

“We’re in the middle of something, don’t you have someone to be screwing right now?”

“Where do you think I’m taking him?” I winked at her and led Alessio up the stairs into one of the empty rooms down the far hall of doors.

I closed the door, the room was dark and the music was muffled.

“Finally I can actually enjoy this party” My back is against the door and his hand is flat on the door on the side of my head. I straighten up and begin to kiss his neck, slipping my hands under his shirt and lightly dragging my nails down his abs as Alessio shut his eyes.

“I-I came to bring your phone… just in case you didn’t want to.. be here anymore and needed someone to call” I continue to kiss down his neck.

“Sounds like you did miss me” I speak against his skin and he straightens out, placing his hands on my hips and opening his mouth but being cut off by someone’s loud knocking.

“Come on! Get out, we’re all downstairs!” I heard her bubbly laugh all the way down the stairs. 

Somehow she managed to get everyone to follow her into the main room, she plopped down in the middle of the long couch next to one of the football players wearing his jersey Charolette and Astra on the right.

Quinn stuck her legs out causing Madelyn to trip and sit next to a random guy as they filled the seats except for the one spot on the left. Alessio sat down and Madelyn almost had a vein pop from her forehead seeing where this was going.

Alessio sat down and it was like Madelyn was counting different ways she would kill me if I sat down and I did. I sat directly on top of his lap all while looking at her grow envious.

“Unlucky me, no more room” I sighed and she rolled her eyes and looked away.

Everyone listened to Quinn go on about something I couldn’t pinpoint because she’d change her subject each time she’d laugh. It was easy to listen to her because of her accent.

I could feel Alessio shifting underneath me, I slightly looked behind me and saw how he didn’t like the loud music and all the frat guys just standing around. I rest my hand on his right thigh as I sit on his left, no one can see the gesture but us.

He tapped my thigh twice, signaling that he didn’t want to be here anymore. I got up as did he and everyone on the couch looked at us.

“Leaving so soon? We’re just about to play confessions” Madelyn said, getting up.

“We have a few assignments we forgot to turn in and wouldn’t want them to be counted as late.”

“Are you sure? Or are you afraid we might find something about you, like how the only reason you’re here is that you’re some sort of sex addict” She talks lowly, only I can hear her.

“You’re not wrong, ask your brother. He’ll tell you all about it,” I say loud enough so only she can hear.

Her mouth drops and her eyes are close to popping out of her head with the anger radiating off of her as I walk away and Alessio follows right behind me.

Not a word had been spoken until he offered to take me to my room, his father had called to meet with him but he mentioned it was alright to be a little bit late.

“I didn’t mean to make you come to the party but I’ll be sure to make it up to you” The lights of the hall were turned off except for the one above my door that was still on.

“I’ll pray tonight, pray I pass my exam so I can make it up to you with my mouth” I speak in a low voice and leave a kiss on the spot below his ear.

chapt 24 • Like This?

I sat impatiently waiting for the percentage of all the exams I had taken this week to be counted all together by Carter Rivers, the academy’s headmaster and the father of the guy that I could have my underwear soaking with even the touch of his hand.

“You’re improving well, a copy of your results will be sent to your home as requested by your Grandmother and your father” He hands me the paper and I immediately block out his words and read the high percentage circled at the bottom.

98%.

“You are also missing your list of universities to be recommended to, you should start looking at those soon, it’s important for your future” He adds as my hand turns the doorknob.

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind” I open the door and I’m met with those pair of soft brown eyes that automatically looked at me first.

He looked down at the paper in my hand and I gave him a knowing smile.

“That will be all, continue with the rest of your day Miss Rose” Carter interrupts our staring contest and Alessio draws his attention back to his father who was now standing up.

“Excuse me” I brush my body lightly against his, and hear the door shut when I finally step out.

I can see Annalise with her clipboard approaching the same direction.

Her eyes are now set on me and she approaches me and takes her time to look at my outfit.

“The length of your skirt must reach underneath your knees. You fail to follow such simple instructions” her old and wrinkly hands right something down.

“I’m sure no one will sin at the sight of my knees, my thighs maybe” The irritation in her eyes makes me smile, not even she could wipe the excitement off of my face.

I fucking passed my exams!

Well, I actually tried to pass this time instead of trying to fail on purpose to be kicked out of the the academy for lack of academic credits.

“There is a reason we have a uniform policy, one you need to abide by or you’ll be back on probation no matter your academic scores” She huffed.

She ripped off a paper and handed it to me, “You’ll be meeting with the council later for your evaluation, you should start by rehearsing some manners and pick out a proper outfit” she walked off after, her black heels clicking against the polished wooden floor.

I uncovered my cross necklace from underneath my shirt to on top, no matter what she wasn’t getting me to wear those long skirts or dresses that hit my ankles and had not even a glimpse of skin to be shown.

I’d wear the necklace all she wanted but I wasn’t going to wear anything Grandma had sent to me.

I looked at the paper, the building where the council would be waiting for me, and no other information about an evaluation.

I went back to my room for another nap, I deserved one after all those exams that made my brain tired of remembering so much. A bunch of letters waiting in a neat stack for me and a  small box with my name on it.

I opened the first one since it had my father’s name on it, the rest were from the women at the church back home. Grandma probably made them send me cards which I hope they all know went into the trash.

Father sent out a letter inviting me to return home for the break this week, a rest from all the exams this week. It would be four days in a house with him, Grandma, his new girlfriend which made me gag, and some guests Grandma had invited as well.

Now I would have to be stuck in a house with them plus people I didn’t know and would probably hate. They were having the holiday at some beachfront my father owned, a place he’d say was only used for business.

The letter was more like a statement than an invitation, I couldn’t disagree because the academy required students to go home for the week.

I dreaded the idea of going home, I would be welcomed with fake smiles and even meaningless  “I miss you” messages and hugs that didn’t mean anything.

I couldn’t believe I was going to say this.

I’d rather stay here than go back and face anyone there.

“I don’t want to go” I show Adam the letter and he reads it with his glasses before setting them down.

“Why? Would you miss our sessions too much?” I tossed the duvet at him and he laughed and sat up.

“No, I don’t want to go because you’d be lonely, I mean who’d make your day and listen to all your wise words and bullshit?” This time we both laughed and then he grew serious.

“I know you don’t want to face them but this will be good for you, this is a week to face everything you’ve been putting away and ignoring, everyone shall I say” He makes me sigh and lean my head back on the couch.

“Enough about this terrible week I’m going to have, what are you going to do?” I mess with the strings of the journal on my lap.

I let out a playful gasp, “Do you have a date? Maybe you’re finally going to give up the whole bachelor persona, I mean come on the lady at the front desk almost has a heart attack when she sees you”

“No she doesn’t, she just has a terrible way of hiding her facial expressions” I shrug and reach over to the bowl full of grapes on the table.

“Or maybe because you’re a married man so she can’t voice her little crush on you. Have you ever thought about that” I pointed at his silver ring.

“It’s not a wedding ring, it’s a promise. You’re not the only one going to face some things this week” He holds up his journal.

“I’m not facing anything but a week filled with hypocrites and a woman trying to replace my mother and my father seeing nothing wrong with it as usual” I take one of the grapes from the bowl.

“Replace her?” He leans forward.

“It’s nothing new, he’s been doing it for years but this is the first one I think he’s serious about” I eat another grape and offer one to Adam but he declines.

“But she’s my mother, and no one can replace her no matter how hard they try and bury the idea that she was a person, I won’t let them” I put the bowl of green grapes on my lap.

“God am I going to hate this week.”

“How I’m going to miss this” I repeat the action and kiss further up Alessio’s neck. I move my hips down onto his and begin to lift his shirt from his body as he assists me.

“Three days without this, how will I ever live?” All I can hear are his heavy breaths and the noise of my hands trying to unbuckle his belt.

“But that doesn’t mean I can’t leave you with a little reminder of me right? Leave you with something to think about for the next three days” I get off of his lap and stand in between his parted legs, his hands rest on the side of him.

I start with my skirt, pushing it down past my thighs and letting it hit my ankles before I kick it off to the side and remove my shirt next, Alessio’s face starts to blush as he sees my white bra.

I reach behind me and unclip it from the back which I believe is a skill to clip from the back and learning it should be considered a sport.

His lips part when my brown nipples come in contact with the cool air and harden under his sweet eyes.

I drop to my knees and run my hand over the bulge in his slacks. “I might even let you take a picture, one you can keep and look at when you need something to distract you”

When he reached behind him and grabbed a pillow, I grew confused until he placed it on the floor for me to relax my knees from the pain of the hard floor.

I press my lips to his tip, his eyes watching me and turn hooded. I keep my eyes on him as I take him in my mouth, my ninety-eight percent being the only reason he didn’t give himself another case of blue balls.

I focus on his tip, seeing how he squeezes the sheets in his palms and causes his veins to become prominent every time I swirl my tongue around and kiss up and down his shaft.

“L-Like that… please” He lifts a hand and runs it through his hair, then looks back down to see pumping my hand up and down his cock until he bites on his lip.

“Like this?” My voice is soft as I watch him, it’s almost sinful how hot he is. Not even cold water could cool down how hot my body was growing just by watching him.

Images of riding him caused me to move closer to him on my knees and gently suck the base of him. He nodded his head frantically, I was trying to make him say one single curse but it was like he was forbidding himself to.

I used my tongue to lay flat against the base of him, teasing his tip the way I knew he liked. My pussy aching and beating with every moan and every time his Adam’s apple bobbed with pleasure.

While stroking the length of him, my tongue did most of the work. Alessio inhaled deeply and started to raise his hips from the chair, I could see his abdomen tensing from here, his brown hair a mess, and the cross necklace shaking its head at me from around his neck.

My thighs rubbed themselves together, “Y-You can’t look at me like that Honey… if you do I’m going to..” his words get cut off when I make him hit the back of my throat and moan around him.

I feel him twitch in my hand, he lets a husky moan escape his lips into the air as he comes into my hand and I wipe it off with the towel beside him and throw it in the black hamper near his bathroom.

“I’m definitely going to miss seeing that” I rise from the floor, his gaze drops to my tits as I pull up my skirt and grab one of his books.

I take his white button-up and slip it on, sitting myself on his lap while he opens his book.

He smells so fucking good it’s unbelievable, I was now thinking of praying to get these next three days over with.

“Y-You can have one of my poetry books if you’d like. I saw how much you liked the last one I let you read and thought you’d like to keep one” I use my index finger to trace his jawline and make him look up at me.

“You can’t be single, are you hiding some secret girlfriend?” He was the type everyone drooled over, Alessio could have anyone he wanted but he didn’t even know it.

He begins to tell me he isn’t hiding some secret girlfriend from me, “I’m joking, I’ll be sure to tell you my favorite lines”

“You know I wasn’t lying about that picture,” I say as I catch him taking his attention off of his book to look at my nipples pressing against the material of his shirt.

“You can keep it as a bookmark” I play with his hair, “Only if you want”

“Or it can be a better picture, one of you holding them, so every time you look at it you remember how soft they are in your hands” I feel his left hand on my thigh squeeze slightly.

“Seems like you don’t mind the idea, I’ll keep that in mind” I stop teasing him and let him go back to reading his book.

Three days.

Three whole days with my Grandmother, my father, and some random woman and guest who my Grandmother picked.

Just great.

• Just to check in with all of you!

• How are you doing? 🤍

chapt 25 • Welcome Home

I tried to pack as slowly as I possibly could but Grandma decided to send a car early to get on an earlier flight.

I was now in the car on the way back to the beachfront my father owned. Trying my hardest to somehow make the driver go as slow as possible.

So far I’ve made him stop at an ice cream parlor, he said no to the mall because my father wanted us there as soon as possible. So I made a mental note to go to the mall whenever I wanted to get away from them to shop for new bikinis for the hot weather and the large pool in the back of the house.

The car finally came to a stop, the place was nicer than I imagined. There was a white fountain in the front of the luxurious house, a white balcony, and underneath was the entrance, brown doors with a see-through glass and decorated with windows showcasing the many rooms in the house.

The driver opened the door, my bags already on the side of the sleek black car. My father exited from the large brown doors, in a blue suit and a matching tie.

I haven’t seen him in months and I don’t know what to do, so I just grab my bag as he approaches me.

He thanks the driver and sends him off, just to turn to me. “Celeste and your Grandmother are both inside waiting for us with lunch”

“You don’t have to tell me how much you missed me, it’s written all over your face” I grab another small bag and take it inside but he stops me.

“Please Honey, be nice to her” Is all he says and I roll my eyes because he’s unbelievable.

I didn’t respond and left him to stand outside, I placed my bags down by the door as he brought in the rest. Both sides had long and white staircases going up and the second you entered you could see the entrance of the kitchen and the doors of a huge pool in the back.

“I’ll take these, just go and say hello” Father grabbed my bags and took them upstairs, leaving me to walk into the kitchen.

Grandma and Celeste’s laughter could be heard down the hall. My eyes first sat on her.

She looked nothing like my mother, which was the first thing I noticed.

Mother’s jet black hair was different from her mixture of brown and blonde, her eyes were green like forest grass and her skin was lighter, almost reaching a pale shade.

She finally looked up while laughing at whatever Grandma was saying, the first time I’ve ever heard my Grandmother laugh.

“You must be Honey! it feels really good to meet you” She stood up quickly and fixed her summer skirt.

She came over and grabbed my hand to shake and it felt like she was yanking my arm.

“Sorry! I’m just excited to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you” Then I grew interested.

“Really? What did they tell you?” When I ask, Grandma interrupts with a short cough.

“You must be hungry from your flight, come and eat Honey” The table was set with fruit and those mini sandwiches that they have at weddings.

“Celeste made lunch for you, isn’t that kind of her” Grandma held up the plate and I denied it.

“Are you sure? I was told you didn’t like olives so I didn’t put any of that’s why” Celeste seemed to really want me to try her sandwiches.

“I should really shower and stuff, I’m really tired” And I really don’t want to be here.

“That’s fine, I can save some for you,” She says as my father comes down and his arm hugs Celeste and he kisses the side of her head.

I almost gag.

I leave them downstairs and head upstairs as my father shouts that my room is the far one on the left. The inside of my room was nice, huge with a lot of room and a large bed in the middle. The light blue comforter matched the same colored rug in front, my bags were set by the bed.

I locked my door and undressed going to the larger bathroom to soak in the bathtub.

It felt weird to be in the same house as my father and Grandmother. I remember the times I would use my room as an excuse to get out of sitting at the table for dinner.

My nap was ruined by Grandma’s knocking, asking me why I had locked my door. She told me to ready myself because she was taking me back to the church to say hello to everyone.

I was standing around next to Grandma and a group of women her age and their granddaughters who were all praising around like brainless dolls.

I didn’t miss this church at all, it was filled with people who devoted themselves and promised to never judge one for their past, and yet they all looked at me as if I was painted pink.

“We’ve all been praying for you, hopefully, it’s all helped you find a new path” One of the ladies held my hand in her rough and wrinkly one.

Her callous hand reaches up to my cheek, “We truly do find God and ask him to help you as much as possible, we don’t want those habits of yours to ruin your life”

She looked at me with a smile, as if she hadn’t just subtly offended me.

“Have you been reciting the verses I’ve asked your Grandma to send you?”

“Yes, every night before I go to bed and in every waking moment. It helped me realize that I need to change myself and devote myself to Christ” The woman believed every word I was saying, she seemed to be pleased.

“With him all is possible” She finally let go of my hand and returned to her group.

“I can’t believe your parents let you wear that. My parents would baptize me all over again “ One of the girls came from behind me.

I glanced at her church dress, similar to the one the elder ladies were wearing.

“It’s a good thing your parents aren’t mine then” I check around for Grandma only to find her speaking to someone as she motions me over.

“Pastor, I want you to meet my granddaughter Honey Rose, you remember her right?” Grandma introduces me, and the Pastor raises his hand to greet me with a hello and a small prayer.

“It’s amazing how far you’ve come, your Grandma has shared your recent journey and your battle with the devil himself trying to tempt you into his wicked ways” The old man looks down upon me.

“Honey studies at a church school a bit out of town” Grandma stands all proud as she makes everyone believe she’s some sort of hero.

“Not willingly” I blurt and I can feel her eyes already daring me to say anything else.

“Is that a tattoo dear child?” Both the Pastor and Grandma glared at my tattoo in shame.

“It’s to remember my mother, Ellie Rose,” I say her name, despite Grandma’s wishes to not mention her name when we got here.

“Is that how you think Eleanor would like to be remembered? As some worthless ink which has tainted your skin that God has worked wonders to create?” The Pastor crosses his arms, baring his bible close to him.

“I’d like to think so, she had the same one” I can already see the vein popping out of Grandma’s forehead.

“Please excuse us” Grandma took my hand and left the Pastor standing in his spot.

“This was quite the welcome home party.”

“You couldn’t just leave your attitude back, since you got home you’ve been ignorant. I don’t want to see any of it tonight, I have a very special guest coming over and I don’t want you to make them think low of us” She clutched her bag and goes back to speaking to other people.

Grandma had readied the house before we left, she set the chairs for dinner and Celeste offered to cook. Father kept trying to push me into a conversation with her as she just tried her hardest to speak to me and ask me about Hartford.

“Are you a virgin?” Some random girl came out of nowhere and stood in front of me with curiosity.

“Excuse me?”

“Some of the girls heard your Grandmother speaking about your um.. diagnosis and I was just wondering because…”

“Well stop wondering, it’s none of your business” Her face falls when I slightly snap at her, I peak behind her and see a group of girls whisper as they look at us, when they see me they turn around.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped” She excused herself and went back to her group of friends.

“You should try and make friends with them, they are a sweet group of girls” Grandma ends her conversation to come and tell me it’s time to get home before our guests come.

“I’d rather not.”

“Honey help Celeste in the kitchen,” Father asked the second I stepped in the door.

“It doesn’t look like she needs my help” Celeste is already putting stuff in the oven.

Father gives me a scolding look and I end up in the kitchen. When she sees me she has a big smile on her face.

“Can you set the table please?” I get all the nice plates and glasses and set them around, not saying a word to her and the kitchen and dining room is pure silence except for the cracking of the fire on the stove.

“Are you happy being back?” I don’t notice her now setting the forks.

“As happy as can be” I finished putting down the last plate.

“Your father is happy you’re back, he’s told me so much about you and I really hope I get to know you Honey” She smiles, I can’t tell if it’s genuine or not or if it’s as fake as the rest.

“He’s told me so little about you” I see a bit of hurt in her but she laughs it off.

“Well we haven’t been seeing each other for long so I wouldn’t expect him to but I’m serious about building a relationship with your father” She stops setting forks and spoons to look at my reaction.

“I’m sure he is too” I try to end this conversation to escape to my room.

“I’m really glad you’re here, I couldn’t wait to meet you. I think this will be good for all of us” Father walks in at the same time she says that, he directly goes in to hug her and makes her laugh and it makes me sick to see.

“I should go and change” I could tell by the way she looked at me for another minute. She wanted more to say, or for me to at least say more but instead she nodded and my father didn’t bother to say anything and helped her set the rest of the table.

After showering again to choose another dress, I waited in my room until Grandma called me down to meet whoever she invited over.

I wanted to hide in my room for the entire week instead but knew she would come knocking on my door any minute.

The multiple bedrooms had already been claimed, there would be two people in the room next to Father and Celeste and one person would be straight across from me.

I was now contemplating whether I should’ve used my window to sneak out but I would have nowhere to hide out but it was too late when I heard her call me downstairs again.

I fixed my hair and closed my door, the hallway was very long. When I reached the staircase I could only see Grandma.

She was opening the door and I met with familiar eyes and voices.

“Here she comes now.”

• Double update ❤️.

chapt 26 • Our Guest

My hand reached the end of the staircase, and my eyebrows furrowed together when I was staring right at Carter Rivers and his wife.

His wife was a bit shorter than him, her hair was flawlessly brown and her eyes matched, she had a few freckles and now I knew where Alessio got it from. She seemed shy almost, but now I understand who taught Alessio everything he knows now when I looked at her attire.

She measured me up and down, almost shocked at my choice of wear. But I didn’t care what she thought when I met those brown eyes behind clear lenses.

A smile crawled its way to my face when we locked eyes after his eyes scanned me all the way down and that blush I hadn’t seen for a couple of hours appeared and I knew I made a good choice on picking the cherry lip gloss tonight.

I had chosen a dress neither Grandma and my father would never approve of, judging by their faces they absolutely despised it and I loved it.

“Honey you’ve already met Carter Rivers, this is his wife Cassia and their son Alessio” Grandma greets them both with a handshake and a hug.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you both” I lift my hand for his mother and she shakes it softly, then to Alessio who still hasn’t been able to control his blush and the way his eyes try to take another glance down at how the black dress hugs my body.

I held Alessio’s hand a little longer, “I’ve never gotten the chance to see you around”

“That’s because he’s always praying and studying, too busy to be out and meeting others” His mother pitched in and now I understood why Grandma spoke so highly of her.

When I let go of his hand, we all went inside the dining hall, Father next to Celeste, Cassia next to Carter and Alessio right beside me.

If I knew he would be the guest, I would’ve looked forward to this trip since it was announced.

As everyone began to talk and Celeste began to hand out the different plates of food. I rested my hand on Alessio’s lap, he stiffened and paused himself from picking up his fork as he let my hand run up and down his thigh.

“Honey, have you begun to think about what you want to do after Hartford?” Cassia questions, both her and her husband’s eyes set on me.

“I was a part of the council at Hartford and I wouldn’t mind seeing Honey continue that” Grandma speaks before I can even open my mouth.

Well that’s definitely not happening.

“I’ve been told I’d make an excellent lawyer” I reached for the glass in front of me.

“Don’t waste your time with that nonsense, Don’t pursue something that you’ll potentially give up on” Grandma says but tries to mix her tone with humor.

Then they went back into a conversation with themselves and no one’s eyes were on either of us. My hand traveled a little further up his thigh, I could already feel him growing hard on the side of my hand and I ate my food as if nothing was happening underneath the table.

“Alessio is going to a prestigious school of the arts, he’s very skilled in piano but he’ll continue his religious studies as well. Somewhere a little far out of state” His mother goes on to tell.

“He does seem very talented, it’s amazing to see what a respectable boy you’ve raised him to be” Cassia seemed to like Grandma’s compliment and went on about somethings she’s made Alessio sign up for when he was younger.

You’re respectful boy was the reason I had to use makeup on my neck tonight.

I moved up further until my hand was running over his hardness, Alessio reached for his glass of water and I gave him a gentle squeeze. He cleared his throat and kept drinking the water until he needed a refill.

“Honey, can you show Alessio upstairs maybe? And where he’ll be sleeping while we finish cleaning up?” His mother said they all stood and began to clean the table but Grandma hadn’t seemed too fond of the idea.

“I’d be glad too, follow me” I rose from my seat, as did Alessio. He did a quick turn to hide his bulge but that only caused him to bump into me, the quick moment allowed me to feel his growing hardness press against my ass for a second.

We continued up the stairs and went to the door across from my room, where he would be staying. Both of the rooms are farther than where everyone else would be staying.

When he closed the door behind me, I spun around while his back pressed to the door.

“This is a fun way to say you missed me” I let my hand follow his buttoned shirt, passed his black belt to match his slacks until I stopped over him.

“S-Someone could come up here at any moment, we can’t do this right now… no matter… how much I want to” I let his head fall back to the door as I went to squeeze him one more time.

Such a respectful boy isn’t he?

“I see someone’s becoming more open with what he wants” I pull him closer to my body, the dress he hasn’t stopped eyeing since he saw me come down the staircase.

“Honey? I need you to speak to you!” I hear Grandma, I drop my forehead to Alessio’s chest.

I tell him to go in the bathroom and wait for him to shut the door until I open his door.

“Where is he?” She questions, trying to look into the room.

“He’s in the bathroom, I was just making sure his room was up to your liking. You know because I wouldn’t want to embarrass you in front of your company” Grandma huffs a little and tells me to follow her into my room.

“Alessio and his parents are important, Alessio was raised well and I don’t want his parents to think that we are ruining that because you aren’t devoted to God like they are. This week I need you to attend church and I need you to dress in actual clothes.”

“You are my granddaughter, I will not tolerate your intent to make me look like a fool for malicious reasons, As I told you before you need to learn how to behave” She opens the door but turns and asks if we’re clear.

“Whatever you say dear Grandmother” I give her a captain’s salute and she closed the door behind her.

When I returned to the table, Cassia asked where was Alessio.

“He’s in his room, bathroom I think” I placed the napkin back in my lap and she continued on eating. In his bathroom trying to get rid of the very uncomfortable boner I just gave him.

The morning came by quickly, as did the summer sun and the hot weather.

Judging by the way she looked at me when I came down the stairs, my two piece bikini did not meet Grandma’s expectations of “behaving”.

Laying on my stomach on the beach chair, I could feel the heated stare of Grandma that burned me far worse than the heat of the sun. With every turn of the poetry book.

I also felt the shy gaze of Alessio who was trying to focus on whatever conversation his parents were having as everyone ate breakfast underneath the umbrella besides the pool.

“Honey, you need to cover yourself. You should not be dressed like this in front of our guest” I lift the shades from my eyes and find my father standing to the side of the chair.

“I don’t think I will” I place the book aside and stand up from the chair, “But I think I will join our guest for breakfast”

I move past him, Grandma standing from her chair and lowering her voice to my ear, “What do you think you’re doing Honey?”

“Behaving, like you said” I sat beside her and I could tell her demeanor was faltering.

“Good Morning Mrs and Mr Rivers… Celeste” I greeted and Carter lowered his head as a greeting and Cassia greeted me with a nice “hello”.

It was so clear who Alessio got most of his features from when looking at Cassia.

“Honey, would you mind being here with Alessio while we’re gone for most of the day? The two of you could study together, I’ll be leaving scriptures for you both” Cassia sits up straighter.

I peek at Alessio who drinks from his glass and looks at me from the side.

“I don’t mind at all, in fact I have a lot of scriptures that I need to study. Alessio can help me and I can help him” When everyone turns to him, I give him a small wink which causes him to miss his mother calling his name.

“Alessio, is that okay with you? Staying with Honey for a few hours?” Cassia reached her hand for his to get his attention.

“Y-Yes, that’s fine” She hummed and went back to speaking to her husband. Carter and Celeste excused themselves as she gave him a flirtatious look and it made me want to throw up.

“We won’t be long, maybe two hours. Hopefully we’ll be back earlier than that” Grandma started picking up the plates as Carter and Cassia helped her.

“Hopefully you’ll be gone longer than that” I handed her my plate while grinning.

“Are you sure you don’t mind the two of you being here?” Cassia asked while I held the door open for them.

“Not at all, it’ll help me get my work done faster” She nodded and took Carter’s hand and they left through the front door, father and Celeste followed behind them. Grandma stopped directly in front of the door.

“Have a lovely night” I smiled at her, but she only kept moving and I let the door shut the moment both of her feet stepped outside.

When I heard their car drive off, I continued up the stairs to the door across from mine.

His door was slightly cracked open, I took a small peek inside and found him actually studying the versus his mother had left for him.

“You know when I said we were going to do nothing but study, I lied right?” I stepped through the door, closing it by leaning my back.

“It’s really hot in here” I grab his attention the second my fingertips grasp the ends of my shirt and raise and pull it over my head.

“I-I can open the window…” He moves his books aside and goes to stand but I stop him and he sits back down, as I stand in front of him.

“It’s only us and you actually want to go over bible verses? When we could be doing so many other things” I place my arms on his shoulders.

“I-I haven’t been able to read any and um I just don’t want my mother to grow suspicious and ask why I haven’t…” I don’t let him finish before I’m leaning down to kissing from his collarbone, up his neck.

“I think she’ll be satisfied to know that her respectful boy did nothing but help me and that I returned the favor” I went up to his jaw, I felt his hands move from my waist to my lower back.

“Besides, you can read them. I won’t distract you too much” I put my hands on top of his, guiding them over my body all the way up to my breast and on his own he gives them a nice squeeze.

“You know that isn’t true, you’re a distraction even when you’re not in the same room as me” He admits, the papers on the side slide off of the bed but that doesn’t break his attention from my chest which is rising heavily.

I place my hands on his thighs, leaning in and he closes his eyes, lips awaiting my kiss but I only smile against his and he isn’t successful at hiding his small frown.

I hear the door downstairs shut and Grandma letting it be known that their back.

“It’s a good thing I’m across from you isn’t it?” I give him the kiss his lips ache for, lingering for a few seconds before I slip on my shirt and make my way to the door, I can still feel his eyes watching me as I slip out of his room.

I open my door and find Grandma already at the top of the stairs.

“Fun night?”

• ❤️

chapt 27 • Birthday Present

I made the mistake of waking up early.

Celeste was already fixing breakfast and I was forced to help her. Both she and father ruined my appetite for breakfast so instead, I went on a run and came back at the perfect time, when they had finished.

When I came back I took a shower and needed a short rag for my face, luckily for me all of the towels were in the closet in the same room Alessio slept in.

I kept my white towel on, my hair dripping wet down my back. I knocked on his door and waited for him to open it.

It was obvious he had recently woken up judging by his messy hair and his glasses were off and his eyes were still tired. His toothbrush was in the side of his mouth, he stopped brushing when he saw me.

When he rubbed the tiredness out of his eyes, he noticed that I was only in a towel and flushed red.

“I need one of the small towels in your closet” I stated first. He moved back and opened the door a bit wider so I could enter and get the towel.

He went into the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth. When he came out he was drying his hair with a towel which made it turn a darker brown shade. I looked over his freckles that hide the fact that he had a dimpled smile.

I went into his closet and reached up to the top of the shelf with all the neatly folded towels, after I closed the door I found him standing there.

Alessio was terrible at hiding the fact that he was trying his hardest not to look at how my breast looked as I crossed my arms under to stop the white towel from slipping undone.

He looked like he wanted to say something, since yesterday and I was dying to know what.

His father called his name from down the stairs and Alessio was quick to toss the towel he dried his hair within the hamper and sparing one last look at me when I gave him a wink and he was out of the door.

Breakfast felt the same, Celeste and my father holding hands and letting them sit on the table ruining my appetite and Celeste trying to spark a conversation with me. Carter and Cassia spoke to each other and Grandma bragged about how well they raised Alessio and she admired what Carter was doing at Hartford.

“Honey, we’ll be attending a church event most of the day and I know how much work you must have so will you two be fine being here again?”

If she said those words all week, my smile would grow every day we sat down at the table.

“I’ve given Honey some errands to run while we’re gone, so she’ll be out as well” Grandma interrupts quickly and hands me an incredibly long list of absolutely nothing that we would need.

“Alessio can help, I don’t want to be out for too long and I want to hurry back and finish my work” Grandma doesn’t seem to believe me but Cassia does and that’s all that matters.

“Your Grandmother never mentioned how responsible you could be” Cassia smiles and Grandma returns the same expression with a bit of irritation for me.

“There’s a lot she hasn’t mentioned” I respond and take a bite of the fruit on my fork.

“I raised Honey to always put her important priorities first before any nonsense that might come at a young age like hers” Grandma chimed in, her voice was fake and her smile was even faker whenever she spoke about me.

“I think it was the Pastor who first taught me that lying was an awful sin” If she could, Grandma would personally kill me with the knife next to her plate.

“Shouldn’t we be looking for things on the list?” Alessio followed me around as we entered the clothing store and I took one of the pink bags.

“None of it’s important, she just did it so we wouldn’t be alone again. Can you believe she doesn’t trust me to behave myself around you?” I say with my hand over my chest.

“I mean, I could stop teasing and telling you how badly I want you… but there’s no fun in that” I stopped looking through the racks of clothes to find Alessio standing there a blushing mess.

Luckily for me, no one knew who we were. His father left his car and I told Alessio to drive us to a mall a bit further out of town so no one would see us together and report it back to my Grandma like her little secretary. 

I took his hand in mine, this being the second actual time we’ve held hands since that time I found him and Madelyn in the library.

His hand gently clasped around mine and he let me drag him through the isles until we made it to all the lingeries, different bras, underwear, and more.

When I let go of his hand it was to hold up the rose-colored set, the bra was see-through allowing anyone’s nipples to be on display, and the underwear had a small bow on the waistline of it.

“Do you think this would look good on me?” I slant my head to the side and watch as his words get caught in his throat.

I put the set in the cute pink bag along with five more sets and took Alessio’s hand one more time.

I led us into one of the private trying rooms, shutting the curtains and telling him to sit on the long waiting couch as I shut the door of the fitting rooms and began to change.

The clip of the first set began to kill my arms when I tried to clip it, clipping a bra from the back was an entire sport to me.

I called Alessio to come and help me and for a full minute, he was standing behind me, looking at me through the mirror as my ass was pressed against him due to the small fitting room and his height causing it to become smaller.

“I need your help, I can’t close it” I give him a pout through the mirror and he looks down to the unclipped backside of the bra, then sees how it’s causing the material to slip slightly off almost enough to show him uncovered tits.

He lifted his hands to clip the backside, his knuckles brushed against my back and I bit down my bottom lip as I watched him through the mirror.

His touch always brought warmth to my already heated body. He parted his lips a bit and shut the quickly as he’d done many times today.

I turned around and told him to tell me but he denied having anything to say.

“I-I like this color on you… a lot” He compliments the dark burgundy set. 

“You’re not a very good liar” I got closer which seemed almost impossible since we were already so close, But you’re also very hard right now.“

“Come on, tell me” I step to my tippy toes and whisper against his neck, my hands finding their way to his belt.

“W-We can’t do this here.. we’re in public” I ignored his request and kept my torturing going.

“Then tell me what you’re thinking” I let my lips brush over his neck and my hands roam down his left thigh and back up.

“I-I can’t… not here” His lips say one thing but his body says another when he leans his head to the side and lets his hands take their place on my waist almost instinctively.

“You out of everyone should know I hate being kept waiting, I’m not a very patient person but somehow you’ve made me into one” He opens his eyes as I press a kiss to his lips and turn to face myself in the mirror in front of us.

“I didn’t have a reason to buy this, but now I do.”

Alessio and I came back later than expected, both cars were parked in the front and I knew everyone was home and Grandma would probably tear my head off the moment I stepped in the door.

Instead, I was in for a shock.

Alessio opened the door for me and both of us weren’t expecting five adults to say “Happy Birthday” at the same time.

While I was left at the door, Cassia came to her son’s side and took his arm in hers, and led him into the house up to the birthday cake in the middle of the room on a table with balloons surrounding it.

It’s his birthday?

That couldn’t have been what he wanted to tell me. Was it?

Everyone had gifts in their hands and handed them to him, even Grandma had one for him.

They let him sit down and open all the gifts, from his parents gifting him an entire art set with different colors I have never heard of. And shading pencils to add to the many already in his room. Even Grandma gave him yet another Bible.

“We’re sorry we didn’t tell you, Honey, your Grandma told us you weren’t very good at keeping secrets and it gave us a chance to set up everything” Cassia held my shoulders and then went back to her husband.

Grandma stood on the side of the couch where Alessio opened more of his gifts, she shared a glance my way, emotionless eyes before Celeste offered her something.

The woman was the devil herself and only I could see that.

I stood by and watched as they all laughed and talked all together and finally decided to go upstairs and spend the rest of the night in my room.

I closed my door to try and drain out all the loud noise from downstairs and decided to take a bath to waste time.

When I was finished and done changing out of my towel, I changed into the set I bought early today. I admire myself in the mirror for a couple of minutes, agreeing that the color was a nice shade and that I looked hot in it when a familiar knocking came on my door.

“Shouldn’t you be enjoying your birthday party?” I opened the door knowing who it was, the birthday boy standing in front of me not expecting me to open the door wearing this.

“T-They went to midnight service for tonight.. and I saw you leave… I wanted to make sure that you were okay. I brought you cake” I still couldn’t believe how one could be so pure.

“You never told me it was your birthday today, I could have been giving you lots and lots of gifts” I took the slice of cake from him and used the fork to take a bite of the vanilla-flavored dessert.

I placed the plate on the table and brought him further into my room, shutting my door with my foot, making sure I locked it. I lightly pushed him onto the bed and climbed on top of him.

“I could have been granting all your wishes all day, but it’s not too late for that is it?” Alessio sat up using his elbows, my finger caressed his jaw, and noticed how his eyes switched between my lips and eyes.

I began to unbutton his shirt, opening it. I began to kiss from his jaw, to his neck, and over his chest.

My cherry lipgloss left my lips print over his chest and I decided to leave some over his abs because I was the only one lucky enough to get to see how incredibly fucking hot he was.

I reached his belt but Alessio still looked like he had something on his mind from earlier and it was killing me that he wasn’t telling me what it was until I began to take off his belt.

“Honey… I-I’m ready” Alessio stopped me before I could even get to the waistband of his briefs.

“Ready? Ready for what?” I knew what he meant and maybe I didn’t but I told myself I would never do it until I heard the exact words come from him.

I held his jaw, bringing our faces close together, “You have to say it or I won’t know what you mean” Alessio’s chest began to rise and fall.

My curtains allowed the light of the moon to reflect on both of us, not letting either of us miss one reaction from our eyes.

“I-I want to learn how to make you feel good, I want you to make me feel good… please teach me Honey… please” His voice was always so deep yet soft and it felt like a sin to hear him say words like this.

Did I hear that correctly? Am I dreaming? This can’t be a dream, I really fucking hope it’s not.

This time it was my chest that started to rise and fall, my mind became cloudy. My nipples turned hard and I felt myself grow wet as I listened to him say please again.

I reached behind me and unclipped my bra, letting it fall onto his lap. His eyes immediately fell to my nipples as they craved to have his lips around them.

Feeling how extremely hard he is beneath me, and how the prints of my lips were decorated on his abs, I leaned over him, my hair falling to one side and Alessio’s parted lips letting out desperate pants.

All my patience disappeared in one moment, all that built-up tension was finally going to be worth it. I was going to make sure both of us enjoy this until the very end.

Alessio reached to take ahold of one of my breasts but I stopped him and placed his hand over his head.

“You’re just going to have to be patient, there’s still so much I want to do to you before tonight ends.”

His birthday doesn’t end for another three hours, so I might as well give him his soon-to-be favorite present.

• & We’re here loves!

chapt 28 • The Moment

this chapter contains mature content! x

also, bare with me, I haven’t written a whole smut scene let alone an entire chapter in a while.

—

Alessio is further on the bed now and with his back against the headboard.

I can already tell by the way he’s looking at me more than anywhere else that he’s nervous.

It might have to do with the fact that I haven’t taken my eyes off of him once, from his eyes to his body that I was going to ruin in every way I knew.

“Shouldn’t I… um. I read that I could make you feel good if I…” He dropped his eyes between my thighs and fully blushed.

I cover his lips with my own, my bare chest meeting his. When I pull away he’s blushing even more, his eyes can’t seem to figure where to focus. The first time Alessio has ever fully allowed himself to fully look at me.

“Just let me take care of you, okay?” He responds with a nod, I bite my lip at all the ideas I have planned in my head and where to start.

But I know I have to start slow.

It may not be my first time but it is his and the last thing I want is to overwhelm him knowing that he’s trusting me to be his first time.

So I do just that, I start with painfully slow kisses from his sharp jaw and make a trail down to his neck. The spot where his pulse lies is beating against my lips, telling me he’s not only nervous but that he wants it as much as I do.

I let my tongue swipe over the spot I know makes him grip the sheets with his hands.

“Let me make you feel so good you remember every detail tomorrow,” I say and trace my hand down his abs as I begin to mark his neck with my lips and finally taint the skin with my sins.

“I-I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget” His voice is strained now, his eyes are shut and his neck is tilted to the right, Alessio’s hands squeeze the sheets so hard I’m sure it’s painful and I’ve barely begun to mark his collarbone.

It makes me smile when I make my way to his chest, and I look up at his neck which has three marks that I’ve sealed with my teeth.

I push myself lower, kissing down his chest until I get to his unbelievably and perfectly cut abs which rise at the rhythm of his chest as he opens his eyes to see and feel my lips covering him as if I’m discovering new places.

This would be the first time I had ever cared this much about someone’s pleasure to kiss all over their body.

When my lips make it to his waistline above his belt, Alessio’s eyes connect to mine and I see the hunger in them that has been sealed away with a key unleashed and reflected in mine.

I slowly undo his belt, opening his buttons and he assists me by lifting his hips to push down and remove his slacks.

He licks his lips and it makes me want to kiss them and bite on them like I know he likes and turns them red until we’re breathing like maniacs.

I scan my eyes over the bulge in his briefs which never seems to surprise me. It only makes my clit beat against the material of my underwear.

I remove him from his briefs, the same gasp that left my lips the first time we’ve done this, comes back every time I see him.

I never believed in the saying that it was always the quiet ones but fuck was I a believer now.

I graze my fingertips up the sides of his shaft, Alessio’s body tensing and calming down as my lips come in contact with him, I kiss from the tip all the way down as if I was making sure he never forgets the print of my lips on him.

My lips finally part around his cock, I arch my back so he can see the curve of my ass and the two shiny piercings staring back at him.

My left-hand works the middle section of his cock while my tongue swirls around his head. I hollow out my cheeks, bringing out my cheekbones more, and to hear more of the “mmphs” coming from him as he keeps a hand through his hair, tugging on it slightly.

I twist my hand up and down him, liking how he unravels simply by my hand and mouth. I continue to pump him while flicking my tongue over his tip which makes him let out a deep breath.

My lips are probably glossed by now and my hair must be absolutely everywhere. His hand reaches out and pushes the hair that’s fallen over my shoulder back to get a better view of my face.

“I-I like watching… you” It’s hard for me to keep myself going, I could never imagine Alessio ever saying things like this.

It only caused me to suck harder and faster, making him twitch in my mouth and his eyes clamp shut and open quickly when I stopped.

When I remove him from my mouth, I can tell he was close but I didn’t want him to cum just yet.

“We’re not done yet” Alessio continued to pant while I reached over into the drawer beside the bed and dug through the towels to find a condom.

I wasn’t expecting anything like this to happen on the trip, truth be told this was a surprise but I was glad that I came prepared.

Usually, it was the guy in the movies who tore the packet open with their teeth. I’d never heard about a woman doing it so I decided to be the first.

Alessio sat up straighter, both of our eyes were glued to each other as I rolled the condom onto him. I slowly crawled myself onto his side of him.

If it becomes too much just tap my thigh twice and I’ll stop“ I remind him and I swing my other leg on the other side of his thigh.

I guide him between my slit, coating the condom with my wetness. I made sure to keep eye contact with him before pressing the head at my entrance and slowly sinking down. When I feel half of him inside of me and all of him, we break eye contact and my mind turns off.

Fuck.

The room was silent other than the sound of both of our moans being mixed in together.

It felt like I was a virgin all over again, it had been so long that it hurt when he was fully inside of me. I missed the feeling of how good my body felt during sex, the feeling returned like a wave and crashed through me completely.

I had to let myself adjust to his size, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to fit him inside of me and fuck was he big.

When I was finally ready, I opened my eyes to look at him.

Alessio had his head back on the headboard, his Adam’s Apple bobbed and his neck covered in my lips and marks looked so fucking good right now. I burned the image into my head.

If I could take a picture of this I would, but I had a feeling my mind would never forget this image.

I paused for a minute, one to make sure he was still okay with this and because I felt a fire being lit inside of my body, a long-awaited fire that had been waiting to be lit for a while.

My body and mind both wanted to move until both were satisfied and it pained me not to move until I came.

“Are you okay?” I managed to control myself for his well-being. “Do you still want to do this?”

“Y-You … t-this… I can’t even think straight” He pants. “I still want this… with you” Anytime he opened his mouth I felt myself pulsing around him and it caused whimpers to slip from his tongue.

I feel the vibration in his chest when I start to move, he grunts with need, and my body jerks.

“Please keep g-going” He begged, his hands on my hips, and my hips began to move down on top of him, my chest was close to his face while his eyes were solely focused on me.

My hips rock themselves on their own accord, I focus on the way his body reacts, how his eyes try to flutter close but he won’t let them.

“I like it when y-you do that” Alessio leans his head back to the headboard but I grab his jaw and direct his head back to me.

“Tell me what you like, tell me everything you like that I do that makes you feel good” I slowly rolled my hips in the same action and his mouth fell open and that damn groan that could make anyone incredibly horny just from hearing it caused me to do it again.

“T-That, when you go slow like that… I like that a lot” I repeat the action and this time I lift myself and drop on him causing soft whimpers to leave him before he can catch them.

“A-And when you… when you kiss me while you bounce like… Honey don’t stop” Our lips meet and my lower half continues to connect down onto his.

He closes his eyes when I continue to lift and drop back down in repeated actions and pause to roll my hips down but I tap his cheek.

“Look at me Alessio, don’t you think I look pretty when I ride you?” I bite my lip with a smile, knowing it’s hard for him to get any clear form of a sentence out.

His eyes are half-lidded like he can’t keep his eyes open. He pushed his hair out of his face and kept his eyes locked with mine.

“Mhm, I-I think you look… Honey you’re going to have to stop if you want me to answer you… I can’t talk when you feel like this or when you move like that” This only causes me to speed up my pace, my hips roll in a way which makes his nails pinch into my skin.

I feel myself clenching around him, I would be a fucking liar if I said it didn’t feel so good right now.

It felt so damn good.

Every time I feel his cock leave and enter me, my mind can’t seem to think of anything else other than driving us both to finish.

I place my hands on his shoulders and this time it’s my head being thrown back as I ride him faster and harder, I feel my body let go and enjoy the pleasure and it feels as if I had finally got my fix of a drug as if I was having withdrawals.

My nails dig themselves into his shoulders but it makes Alessio moan and pleads for me to keep going.

His hair was sticking to his forehead and his brown eyes were studying me. They were watching every face I made when I felt him hit deeper inside of me each time I dropped down onto him. They study how my body reacts to when his hands meet my skin and how my nipples ache to feel his tongue.

He reads me like a book, he leans forward and I feel the warmth of his tongue on one of my nipples and my other being rolled between his index and his middle finger.

“Fuck how did you..” He manages to get me to say as I roll my eyes this time and feel my entire body heat and melt.

“… I remembered how you said you like when I do this.. and I like the sounds you make when I do it” He stares up at me while he continues to swirl his tongue around the bud and squeeze at my other boob, my pussy wraps around him tightly that makes him moan around my nipple and it sends waves of pleasure through my body.

“Shit..” I begin to think about what else his mouth could do, and that causes me to grind my hips into him at a rhythm that makes him stop and drop his head between my breasts.

His hands instinctively fly to my waist, they guide me at the same pace my hips move. I lift his head by using his hair.

“Let me see how good I feel, don’t look away from me” I watch the pleasure write itself all over his face, his eyes tell it all and his moans tell every piece of it, he couldn’t hide it even if he wanted to.

My hips buck and he lifts his own to match mine and it causes me to grip around him. I felt like coming on the spot when I felt the warmth of his tongue this time on my neck.

Alessio Rivers was giving me hickies, from my neck to the top of my breast while he whimpered against my skin like he couldn’t help it.

“Y-You just feel too good… so good” His eyes are slipping closed but he doesn’t let them, his nails dig into my hips and the sting feels good to me, my nails scratch down his chest and abs as I’ve been wanting to do for so long.

My hands slide up his body to hold onto his muscles and my hips buck faster into his.

Alessio’s breathing was ragged, all over the place, my body was set on eagerness, and I arched my back into his body. Alessio wrapped his arms around my waist and brought me closer, I rose my head to the air, sounds left me almost pathetically.

I felt goosebumps plant themselves all over my body, the same burning feeling overcame me once again and I heard Alessio grunt into my neck.

“I-If you keep moving your hips like that, you’re going to make me cum” His jaw tightened, I slide my hand through his brown hair and pull his head back.

“That’s what I want, I want you to cum for me Alessio” His hips tense below me when his cock throbs inside me, and his face flushes deeply.

Not only was he close but so was I. It felt like my body wouldn’t let me cum until he did, my thighs began to hurt signaling how sore they would be tomorrow but that hadn’t stopped me.

“Honey…“I made sure to watch how he moaned my name and how he squeezed my hips tightly while his hips bucked while I kept going.

He twitched inside of me, no doubt feeling the condom and my mouth dropped open as I could feel every drop he let out. It caused my body to writhe against his, shuddering while I moaned his name because it was the only word in my brain.

I dropped my forehead against him, our bodies felt stuck together as if they didn’t want to move apart from each other.

It took us two minutes to calm down, my chest was heaving against his and my throat felt sore from all the moaning as well as the nice sting from the marks he left on my neck.

I’ve had many experiences when it came to sex but fuck was this the only one I can say I wanted to happen again and again until my legs fall asleep.

“Happy Birthday, from me to you.”

• I took a five-minute break after writing this…

• Thank you so much for 100k, I want to hug all of you right now but for now, I’ll just give everyone a ring ❤️.

chapt 29 • Her

The breeze of my curtains blew in soft sunlight and rained along my bed. Only my body heat and the sheets catch the coldness of the morning.

The other side of my bed was empty and a frown set its place on my face as I removed the heavy sheets which were a reminder of last night. I wasn’t much of an overthinker but I couldn’t help but ask myself.

Was I bad?

Did she regret it?

Questions flooded my head as I tried to find the answer to why she left without a word.

My body was sore, from my abdomen to my back and my chest. I entered my bathroom and finally saw the cause of my soreness.

My chest and abdomen were littered with her nail scratches, along with my back. The view of it seemed painful but the sting was… well it felt good.

Her favorite spots to kiss on my neck were marked with her lips and my body was covered in reminders of everything she had done to me last night.

I still couldn’t believe that it actually happened, at first, I thought I was having another one of those dreams where she clouds them and I woke up the next day to realize it was all fake.

Then it all dawned on me when I realized it wasn’t a dream, I lost my virginity and I haven’t stopped replaying each moment in my head.

I cleaned off my toothbrush and began brushing my teeth when I finally heard it.

I finally heard the shower water running, then an intense pair of beautiful eyes staring at me through the mirror. I met the eyes that could melt me anytime and watched as they danced around my body, her lips pulled into a pleased expression and my face started to heat up.

She didn’t leave.

She didn’t regret it.

All the doubt left my body in relief.

The glass door did nothing to hide the outline of her body, only the steam of the water clouded and only gave me a glimpse of her breast.

Holy.

There was nothing holy about Honey Rose, everything about her was sinful.

She bit her bottom lip and left the glass door open slightly, inviting me in. I removed my sweats and ignored the sore pain of my muscles as I did so.

The second I stepped inside I felt my lower half grow hard. I haven’t ever been like this, I’ve never had these thoughts or feelings before her and at first, it felt like I should feel ashamed for it, and now I don’t.

Not even a word had been said and she already had me in a trance.

The water effortlessly ran down her body. Her hair was soaked with droplets and cascaded down her back to her lower waist, the curves of her waist and the shine of the two diamonds pierced where her back dimples were didn’t help my situation.

She spun around, catching me staring at her God-given body. Her eyes were absolute hell the way they looked up at me, I never met or seen anyone with such tempting eyes.

They froze me in place, her right eye was mysterious but memorizing, like the coldest of ices and her left held a soft stare, gold even and they both compliment each other with every blink of her long eyelashes.

“You’re staring again” I gulp when I feel her fingertip glide up my abs over her nail marks.

I can’t help it.

Every time she was close and staring at me as if she hadn’t changed my life I couldn’t control what my body or my mind did or reacted.

I lifted my hand to her cheek, leaning down to her sweet and pink lips that could kill anyone in a kiss and I’d let mark my skin all day.

When my lips gently touched hers, I felt her smile and she leaned back a little.

“Eager are we?” Her voice was enough to control my hand as it fell in place at the back of her neck.

Her hair was soft like silk falling all the way down to her perfect waist. Her eyes looked so pure but Honey was the complete opposite and that same look would trap me in a trance for a few seconds.

“You haven’t even told me good morning and you’re already looking for round two? Not that I mind but at least give me time for the soreness to pass” She lightly shoved me and spun around to grab the loofa and the scented soap.

Her backside pressed into my front and I could tell she felt what she was doing to me because she started to move against me.

I don’t think I could ever understand how she did this. As if she wasn’t killing me every second but acted as if she wasn’t doing anything at all.

She rinsed her body underneath the water, I stood behind her and watched many droplets glide their way down her body.

“I-I liked last night… a lot” She was right, she made it absolutely impossible for me to forget.

I remember each moan she made, every sinful word she said, the rhythm of her hips, God if someone quizzed me right now, I could probably tell you how many times she said my name last night.

“Will um… will it happen again, I mean only if you liked last night… it doesn’t have to happen again if you don’t want to but I’m sure saying that I wouldn’t have a problem”—

She turned around and my mouth fell silent, her eyes could tell devilish stories and I’d listen to every word and detail.

“Are you trying to tell me that you want to fuck me?” I gulp at her words…

How is she so calm saying these things???

“W-When you say it like that..” I feel the lower region bulge against her stomach…

How does she make me feel like this effortlessly…

It only makes it worse when I see the red marks on her soft skin, her neck, and the top of her breast are decorated with marks… marks that I left… and her hips have my nail marks which look painful from my view but she’s smiling.

“I never thought you had it in you, I should ride you more often” She places her hands on my chest, reaching up to peck my lips.

Please do.

“How was everyone’s night?” Honey sparks the conversation first as she sits across from me.

“Lovely dear, hopefully, you too enjoyed the rest of your night. Did you enjoy your birthday Alessio” My mother faces me and I pause my fork, I can feel those striking eyes looking at me from across the table and I can already see the smirk on her face.

“Yes… I enjoyed it… a lot” I stuffed my food in my mouth and my father let out a pleased nod.

“I’m glad you did! I’m really thankful for you inviting us, Dahlia. It was also a pleasure to meet you, Honey, I’m glad to see Alessio hanging out with such a good influence” My mother says cluelessly.

“He’s really helped me” I don’t even have to look at her to know she’s looking at me.

“Alessio can you also help Honey with the dishes please” I stand up as does she, I’m first to the kitchen and first to the sink. My head is down, eyes only on the plates as I wash the glasses and plates.

I feel her next to me.

I want to feel her on top of me again… I shut my eyes, only she can make me have these thoughts.

From the corner of my eye, I see her place herself on the counter beside me. The kitchen’s view is blocked off from the dining room but we both know someone could walk in but she doesn’t care.

I try to finish washing the dishes but she’s watching me with her lip tucked in between her teeth. My stupid blush returns, as it always does and I can never help it.

When I finished, I dried them with the kitchen rag. I had to put them in the cabinet above her and she knew it. She sat on the counter as if she didn’t know what she was doing.

I reached up to put the glasses away first, I sucked in a breath when I felt her perfectly toned legs wrap around my waist and pull me into her.

I catch myself with both of my hands on either side of her thighs. Her sweet lips connect to mine, and she raises her hand to the nape of my neck, making the kiss deeper.

I steady myself by placing my right hand on her hip causing her to moan in my mouth as I brush over the area which I had been squeezing last night.

I close my eyes and get lost in the feeling of her lips, how they know exactly what to do to get me to forget everything and everyone.

She smiles against my lips and bites on my lower lip a little before pulling away.

I want to kiss her again. And she knows it.

Upon hearing footsteps, Honey lightly shoves me away but I’m still hooked on her lips.

Her Grandmother clears her throat and hands, Honey, more dishes before she greets me.

I don’t miss the tension between them since my parents and I arrived, even the tension between her and her father and his girlfriend.

“Don’t sit there and let him do all the work” Her Grandmother scolds her, Honey rolls her eyes and gets off the counter, taking the dirty dishes and putting them in the sink.

“If she’s giving you any trouble, you can tell me” Her Grandmother pats my shoulder. We both look in Honey’s direction when she gasps and I see her white top soaked in water from the sink.

She’s causing me a lot of trouble right now.

Honey’s now wet top outlines her breast, the shirt is almost see-through from here and I look away before her Grandmother catches me staring.

“Honey!” Her Grandmother says besides me, she gasps loudly when she sees her top.

“It was an accident, you think I purposely wanted this to happen?” Honey says, making her Grandmother fume and tell her to go upstairs and change and Honey does.

Her Grandmother apologizes to me and leaves the kitchen and I finish up the dishes.

When I’m done, I notice her father and his girlfriend saying something to each other. His girlfriend… I forgot her name seemed really upset and he tries to comfort her.

Mother told me before we got here not to mistake the woman for Honey’s actual mother, that she was her father’s girlfriend and I needed to be respectful to her.

I haven’t seen Honey speak to her, not willingly at least but his girlfriend try her hardest to make conversation but it quickly fails.

“Come help me pack!” My mother calls for me and I look away from Honey’s father when he hugs his girlfriend and comforts her, but instead of looking at my mother. I see Honey looking at them from the staircase with an unreadable emotion in her eyes and she quickly heads back upstairs.

“Our flights in the morning” My father stands in the doorway adjusting his glasses.

“Is mother gone?” I remove my glasses and put them in their case, and sit on the edge of my bed. And yet again last night with Honey clouds my mind.

I can’t even look at my bed without seeing the image of her on top of me.

“She left a couple of minutes ago for her flight but she says goodnight and she loves you” He scratches the side of his neck.

“Are you and Honey getting along?” He suddenly asks and it catches me off guard.

“We talk but not a lot, only when we study, we haven’t gotten along to talk like that,” I tell him, wondering why he suddenly brought her up.

I can’t let my father know about what we’ve been doing, all he wants is for me to focus on my studies and leave Hartford and go somewhere impressive. I don’t know what he would do if he knew about us, and I don’t want to find out.

“Good, you two should only talk about books and your academics. The last thing you need is a distraction” He emphasizes the word distraction like there’s more meaning to it.

“Goodnight Mr. Rivers” I hear her voice behind my father. She smiles at him and looks at me, “Goodnight Alessio” she sends me a look only I see and my father then turns to her.

“Goodnight Honey, the both of you should pray before you go to sleep” Father leaves and goes down the hall to his room.

She waits for him to shut his door before she enters and closes mine.

“We do talk about books, a lot in fact. Which reminds me, I have a lot more for you to read on your flight to keep you distracted” She heard my father’s words.

“I don’t mind y-you being a distraction” She sits on my lap with her arms splayed on my shoulders.

“You said that you wanted this to continue and it can, we just have to discuss some things first” I listen to her as she plays with my hair.

“Things like what..” I don’t know why I’m getting nervous, I find that happening a lot around her.

“This obviously has to continue to be a secret, it’s clear your parents and my father and grandmother would tear the whole world apart if they knew about this. They would most likely tear my world apart” She sighs.

“I want to tell you now so you know, this is all I can give you” She pauses, “All I can give you is sex and that’s it, I can’t give you more than that because that’s all I know what to give”

“This is and only will be sex, nothing more and you have to make a deal with me” I don’t know how to process it all, she’s completely stopped messing with my hair and looking deep into my eyes with complete seriousness.

“This is over the moment you feel something more because I can’t give you something more, you’re not going to want something more” I feel like I can’t say anything other than yes.

“If that’s not okay with you then we could end this here”— I don’t let her finish, my mouth is covering hers before she says anything else.

Her tongue mixed with mine as soon as I gave her an opening. She made me so vocal, I never knew I could make sounds like this until she.

I couldn’t help but wonder what she meant by ‘you wouldn’t want more’ and ‘it’s all I know what to give’. But my mind was taken off of it when she pulled away.

“Sex, This is and only will be sex,” She said with shaky breaths.

“… Sex and only sex” I repeated like I had to embed it in my head.

She gets off of me but I want to reach out and pull her back. “You should listen to your father and pray, it’s not to late to still be the good boy who knows bible scriptures like the back of his hand.”

When she left I tried… I tried to close my eyes and pray but I couldn’t. All I could see was,

Her.

• Though I made you wait a painfully long time, how did you guys like Alessio’s POV for the first time?

chapt 30 • Pottery

“How was your week away?”

“Interesting,” I say as I think back to the events.

“I mean other than being stuck with a judged mental family, I didn’t hate everything. Some parts were rather enjoyable” Adam doesn’t catch onto my words but he does catch onto my tone.

“There’s more to the story than you’re telling isn’t there” I shrug my shoulders and he shakes his head.

“There’s nothing more to tell, but enough about me. Did you go on that ‘coming to terms with your past’ trip you spoke so highly about?”

“I tried, then I realized there was more I had to come to terms with before anything or anyone else” Adam never fails to confuse me sometimes, especially when he keeps my gaze for a few seconds before redirecting his attention.

“Nothing changed when I went home, Grandma still tells everyone she practically ‘saved me’ & and my entire town looking at me like I have some bullseye on my forehead” I guide the conversation away from the look he had given me.

“I met my father’s girlfriend, I didn’t talk to her much because I refuse to acknowledge that my father had actually landed himself into another relationship” Judging by this week, he seemed to be serious about Celeste, completely serious and I’ve never seen him make it this far after mother.

I glance around his room, “This is a really nice lamp” I stop and stare at the antique lamp.

“I’m sure my lamp appreciates that” Adam laughs but I’m actually serious.

Adam’s whole room fit his whole personality, the only lights were his two lamps with vintage lampshades covering them, he had old paintings up, they were all beautiful as if they belonged in a museum.

“Did you steal these? They look too nice to have been bought in a store” He stands next to me, looking at the painting with a smile.

“It was painted for me, all of them were” He points out, he stares at the paintings a little longer and a wider smile takes its place on his face.

“They’re really talented, if I were them and could paint like this, I’d go to Juilliard or have my own art show” Adam and I stood for the next two minutes and he explained each painting and its meaning.

“There’s no way you drove a motorcycle, did you have some other life before all the counseling stuff?” I face him with my arms crossed.

“I’m getting the feeling like you think I was some boring teenager with good grades and intentions” He rolls his eyes when I give him the ‘I mean’ look and crosses his hands over his biceps.

“I still have the motorcycle, how do you think I get here every morning?”

“That’s your motorcycle! Honestly, you’re not as boring as I thought you would be” He puts his hand over his heart as if I shot him, “I mean it’s the vest and the white button-ups and the whole, dad like advice you give me”

“That advice has helped you learn to write down your feelings, no?” I nod my head and look back at my journal on my seat.

“Are you going to give me another one of your wise speeches of the day?” He doesn’t have to answer because he tells me to sit down as he stands in front of his desk.

“I don’t have any more wise words for today, you said you met your father’s girlfriend, how did you feel about that?”

“I could barely keep my food down around them.”

“Honey!” While I’m walking out of Adam’s office, Charolette’s high voice catches me from the middle of the hall, her blonde hair bounces as she hurries over to hug me.

“I missed you so much! I realized I didn’t have your number until I got home and couldn’t tell you goodbye because you had already left when I stopped by your room” Charolette rushes out, her smile is big and her hands are clasped up to her chin.

“How was your trip?” She excitedly placed her arm in mine and we walked down the hall.

“I’m not sure how to describe it, I wouldn’t mind reliving it though” I want to relive the second to last night before it ended, I would relive it over and over again if I could.

“I wish I could describe mine like yours, turns out I’m not even allowed to go to the culinary university I had been dreaming about. My parents want me to go to Harvard with Adeline” Charolette sighs, her eyes grow sad.

“You shouldn’t let them have your future, you’ll be nineteen soon right? Then you’ll have your choice to pick wherever you want to go after you finish your last year here” Charolette thinks a little bit before her eyes grow wide again.

“One more year! We only have one more year until we’re out of here, do you know what you want to do?” She looks at me and we turn to the left and continue walking.

“Haven’t given it much thought yet” Truth is, I haven’t even begun to think what I wanted to do after Hartford, college, and the university is what the academy wanted everyone to look at.

“Don’t overthink it, there are a lot of universities they suggest for your studies. I only get the top culinary schools because I take the culinary classes here. I could also help you if you want” I thank her for her offer and we stop by our second class.

I lean against the door watching Alessio as he works to form the clay into a pot, seeing how slightly hunched over and concentrated he is, he uses his shoulder to brush his fallen hair away from his face.

His shirt is off, tossed on the seat beside him to keep it from getting dirty, his muscles contract when he uses his strength to keep the clay steady.

His veiny bands are now covered in wet clay as the wheel spins and he concentrates to form the correct shape of the pot to match his twenty other pots on the table beside him.

He lifts his foot from the peddle and the wheel stops spinning; he uses a line to detach the work from the wheel and places it with the rest.

“What’s first?” I remove my shirt and my skirt, leaving me in my bra and underwear, he pauses for a few seconds as I throw them where his shirt is.

“What? I don’t want my uniform to get dirty either” I sit between his open legs and he clears his throat with shock.

I asked Alessio to help me with one of the art assignments that I needed to design but I had to make it and I decided to make myself a flower pot.

He tells me to slam the clay on the center of the wheel to get it to stick and squeezes a wet sponge to allow the water onto the clay and my hands.

I lean forward and hold the clay with both my hands on either side, pressing my foot down as he instructs, the clay begins to spin but not the way he would.

“I don’t think I’m doing this right” I feel him behind me, hesitating until I feel his bare chest slightly brush my back.

“Can I um.. help you” I nod and he places his hand on top of mine, steadying my hands and the clay.

“You have to raise it, then push it down to form your pot” His hands gently press down on mine but enough to make the clay press down. Then he moved my thumb to the center and told me to push down to open the clay in the center.

Then he drags his fingers up the sides and tells me to do the same and I do.

When the pot is done forming, I move my foot from the peddle and it stops. The flower pot is at medium height but enough to hold a nice bouquet of flowers inside.

I face him, pushing myself up onto his lap, “I-I’ll fire it for you and you’ll be able to decorate it and turn it in—” Alessio stopped when I press my hand against his chest, the wet clay covering my hand leaves a print of my hand on his chest and his left bicep.

I didn’t get to see Alessio before he left, his flight was earlier than mine because Grandma had made mine later in the day, so she could take me to church and have the Pastor say one last prayer for me before I left.

“You’re really skilled with your hands” I switch my eyes back and forth between his.

“Makes me want to put them to better use” I lift myself up a bit and clip my skirt from the back making his clay-coated hands fall to my ass.

I bring our lips together, Alessio suddenly gives my ass a soft squeeze and I hum into his mouth. My hand makes its way up the line going up to his back until I reach the back of his neck then into his hair, I tug his head back a little.

Lips turned a nice red and let out the softest of pants. He moves forward to reconnect our lips and frowns a little when I moved back.

“I like how impatient you are for me” I reach my arms back and loosen my bra, not all the way only a bit so he gets only a glance at my nipple.

While doing so, I join our lips to hear the soft moan come from his throat. My hands explore over his muscles while my hips roll in a way that makes him pause the kiss to inhale sharply.

The cool wind blows upon us, making goosebumps rise along my arms. This time I’m the one being shocked when I feel warm lips being pressed to my chest focusing themselves there and between my breast.

“Someone’s been reading lately hm?” I try to laugh a little bit but he cuts it short when he adjusts his seating causing his bulge to push against my aching clit.

“I s-started the one you gave me before we left… I thought you might like it if I tried it” He looks into my eyes while his fingers glide down my stomach.

Then he looks at my chest, and the trail of his fingerprints he’s leaving over my body as if he was taking a picture with his eyes.

Then he gets this look in his eyes as if he’s just got a grand idea waiting in his head. His eyes flick up to me, and it’s killing me how ready my body is for him.

“I-I have an art commission to submit… for the university I want to attend and I need to submit something of beautiful art and I um… I couldn’t think of anything until now..” He glances back down at my body and I do as well.

My breast has his handprints and my hips do as well, no doubt my ass and back look the same.

“Are you saying you want to use my tits to get you into college?” Alessio blushes at my blunt response.

“I would cover anything inappropriate and hide your face, I’ve been holding off on those assignments because to even participate… we need to have a partner… I would only be sculpting your body or painting it..”

“I-I would understand if you decline, it’s not l something you hear someone asking you every day, and I”—

“I’ll do it” I press my index finger to his lips keeping my lips close to my finger as well.

I mean think about it, modeling is a compliment I’ve received many times. I have nothing better to do at the academy and it would take up most of my time and I can label it as “extracurricular activities” to minimize Grandma’s random visits and tell her that I’m too busy to even see her.

“Count it as payment for all the times you help me pass all my exams” I give him a wink but then I see his eyes switch to something behind me.

When I turn around his eyes are glued to my ass, when I look in the full body mirror behind us, I see that he’s looking directly at his handprints made by the now hardening clay on either side of my ass.

He shifts himself underneath me, Alessio’s blush could even be seen through the mirror. The clay isn’t the only thing hard right now.

“When do we start? I’m just a little too excited to have your hands all over me” I direct his eyes back to mine, he fumbles over his words a little bit before giving out a clear response.

“We um.. we can start Friday… if that’s okay with you of course.”

“Friday is absolutely perfect” I go and grab my clothes off the chair and I swear I hear him mumble something but the shifting of him standing up blocks that thought.

“I’m not sure what I can do to return the favor” He pulls his shirt over his head and I trace his abs while I have the chance until his shirt covers it.

“I might have a few ideas.”

• I promise you didn’t get robbed. Please be patient with updates, I’m still trying to write out ideas about how I want the story to progress.

chapt 31 • Perfect

“God bless you all, don’t forget to repeat the last scripture to yourself at night” The Pastor finishes and closes his bible, we rise from the seats and I place mine in my bag, heading out of the doors.

“Alessio!” I didn’t hear the voice calling my name three times before they finally caught up to me.

Madelyn stops right in front of me, really close. If I were to take another step I would probably knock her down.

“I saw you working on something earlier outside by the tall tree and you looked like you needed help and I was just here to tell you that if you need help you can always come to my room” She reaches for her hair and moves the ponytail from behind to the side on her shoulder.

“It was nothing, I figured it out but thank you” I go to walk to my father’s office but she stops me.

“Of course you did, you’re really smart. But I did need your help, see there’s that university project coming up and we need to find a partner to work with for a couple of weeks and submit something together to the university that we wish to attend and I was wondering if you didn’t have a”—

“Alessio” My father opens his door and signals me inside, making Madelyn’s jaw tick but she keeps her happy smile.

“I’m sorry, I should go” I excuse myself and enter his office and close the door behind me.

“Have you thought about your final project? The acceptance one?” I haven’t told my parents about what university I want to attend, they don’t know anything and I want to keep it like that for now.

It would probably take more convincing from my father if I told him that I wanted to go to an all art school instead of the religious one he’s been planning to make me attend since I was young.

“I’m still working on it, I’m not sure what to do” I don’t want to lie, but I have to, I can’t have him tell me no before I even see if I get accepted.

“It doesn’t have to be much for the university, something like you submitting a video reading those scriptures I prepared for you will do” He tosses a file beside and it ends up falling off of his desk.

I go to pick it up for him and see Honey’s photo at the top of the documents.

She hasn’t applied to a single university, there aren’t any in her interests.

“Can you take that to the council office to Annalise, they’re interviewing her and need her files.”

Honey mentioned earlier that she would have to be stuck with the council all afternoon.

I told my father that I would see him later as I opened the door.

“Work on that project, I was able to get them to keep your name on their list but they won’t keep it for too long.”

I’m counting on it. 

When I enter the counseling office, I can only see the back of her head and I hear her delicate voice.

She sits in front of Annalise and the rest of the council, the four members waiting and writing things down. When Annalise spots me, she calls me to fully enter and walk the documents over to her.

I feel Honey’s eyes land and follow me as I walk to Annalise’s side and her the papers.

“Thank you Alessio” Annalise smiles and the wrinkles on the corner of her mouth lifts as she does and goes back to being serious when she looks at Honey.

Honey’s hands are placed on her lap, she’s in a black dress that covers everything the rules say to cover and her hair is pinned up.

“What have you learned since your stay?” Annalise opens the file.

“God has given me a second chance, to fix my sins and not create more. He’s given me an opportunity that I’ve been taking advantage of” Honey sits up straight and answers politely.

All of the council members look down at her documents and she switches her eyes to me, the corners of her lips curve up and I’m the only one in the room who can see that it’s all an act.

The longer I look at her, I find small details about her. How her dark hair is a complete contrast to how bright everything about her is, or the small mole on the right side of her cheek and the one on the tip of her nose both match the ones of different areas of her body.

“You have been improving with your academics recently, attending classes and prayer lectures but there’s still a lot of complaints when it comes to your choice of clothing around the academy.”

Honey goes back to looking at the council members as Annalise speaks and she snaps me out of thinking about the small moles Honey has decorating random spots on her body.

“I’m in a lot of artistic curricular’s which makes it easy for my uniform to get dirty, the shorter skirt isn’t for any unwanted attention just to save the time about worrying about little paint stains” Annalise inspects her, but Honey keeps up her front.

“We’ll allow it, but if we see any other inappropriate uniform changes we won’t let any more of your excuses slide and you’ll wear the required uniform like everyone else,” The woman on the right of Annalise says and marks off something on the paper in front of her.

“We are not trying to limit you, Honey, we only focus on what’s best for troubled students such as yourself” Honey is still able to keep her unbothered expression, but the irritation cracked through her expression when she smiled.

“We have many perfect students who you should be paying attention to, one of them being Alessio” Honey looks at me, as she did the first time we met, like she’s found a new interest.

“I’ll be sure to pay very close attention.”

Not a single prayer is going to help me.

I was setting everything up, laying out the beige flooring, and making sure the light was focused directly in the middle. Closing the black curtains so no unwanted light comes from outside. I had pushed chairs and tables to the side of the room for space.

Grabbing my camera from its bag, I heard the door behind me close and lock.

I turn around to the sound of her tempting voice and I almost drop the camera out of my hand when I see her.

Honey stands underneath the light above her, removing her shirt and pants, leaving her in a tan top and underwear. Her hair was in its natural wavy form, down her back, and her lips were coated in a slightly darker red color reminding me of sweet cherries.

My eyes help themselves and travel from her face down her chest, over her stomach and thighs, and looking over her now showcased tattoos each one complimenting her.

It’s really hot in this room right now.

I adjust the collar of my shirt, feeling my face heat up and the heat of the room take over my body especially when she walks over to me.

“H-Hi” Is all I can manage to say, and she has an amused glimmer in her eyes.

“Are you going to show me where you want me to stand?” I can only nod my head.

I always seem to forget how to form a sentence when she’s around, my mind goes blank.

I tell her to stand under the light so I can make sure everything looks good. I go back to set my camera on the stand.

She kneels down and places her palms on her thighs and tilts her head up, the light adjusting perfectly to her smooth skin, capturing her eyes with softness and it makes me freeze with the camera in my hand until she speaks.

“How do I look?” God help me.

“Perfect” I swallow thickly, stumbling a little bit trying to get her in the perfect angle.

Absolutely Perfect.

I switched the settings on the camera, you couldn’t see Honey’s face, only the outline of her body and the small specks of glitter along her skin and her top.

But I could see everything perfectly.

I’ve said the word “perfect” too many times, but I can’t seem to form any other word when it comes to her.

The single light above her allows every detail to be taken in completely.

I almost drop the camera when she lifts her hands to cover her shoulders and part her thighs a bit farther apart.

I hear my breaths pick up, I have to take several deep breaths before taking the picture.

Though she knows the photos won’t show her face, Honey’s eyes are daring, and staring directly through the camera to my eyes, she runs her hand down her stomach and bites her lip.

She’s absolute hell.

“W-We should probably take a break”—

“Just a few more, I’m having fun,” She says as she lets her lip go slowly so I lift the camera again.

She then moves her palms behind her, leaning her head back and allowing me to take a photo of her toned stomach and the line in the middle of her stomach, and her soft thighs that I can’t seem to forget.

Her eyes are directly on me, she understands what she’s doing to me. She smirks and drags her eyes down to the middle of my pants seeing exactly what she’s doing to me and my face probably looks like a terrible red mess right now.

How was I supposed to stand here and focus and take pictures of her when she’s looking at me like she’s imagining every dirty thing she wants to do with me?

“I-I need a break, just a quick one” I put the camera back on the stand and go over to my bag.

I take out the cold water bottle waiting for me and take three large gulps trying to calm myself. When I close my eyes, I see the picture of her on her knees and her hands running over her body.

It causes me to squeeze the life out of the water making it splash on my shirt.

I hear her laugh a little behind me, but when I face her, all I see are her big and apologetic eyes and my camera in her hands.

“I wanted to tell you that we should redo the first photo, it might be better if I had my head back, but it seems you have much more raging matters to take care of” She gestures to my damp shirt which now is sticking to my chest then her alluring eyes skim down to my pants.

I go over to the desk and take out my spare shirt I keep just in case the one I wear gets dirty.

It’s hard to ignore the uncomfortable situation I’m in, no amount of trying to get my breathing straight and trying to look away from her is going to fix it as long as I know she’s in the same room as me.

It was hard enough taking those first few photos, I don’t think I would be able to keep my attention solely on taking photos.

Why did I close the windows?

I remove my shirt over my head, but before I even get to put my new one on, I hear the camera click behind me.

“You don’t mind if I keep this right?” She holds the photo of me taking off my shirt and my back muscles flexing themselves between her lips.

“I’ll let you keep all the photos of me in return, I’m sure you’d like that, I can already tell” Again she looks down at what she’s doing to me.

Maybe I should leave my shirt off, it’s hot enough without it off.

She steps closer, somehow in my head, the room gets smaller, and all I can think about is my hands over her breast and squeezing them the way she likes and how captivating it is to hear and see her moan.

“What are you thinking about hm?” I feel her fingertips glide over my abdomen and up my chest, and my chest begins to race.

“Why won’t you look at me?” I feel like I’m a minute away from passing out right now.

“I-It’s just really hot in here” Honey tilts her head, her hair going to the side with it.

“I’ll open the window for you” She hands me back the camera and I watch her turn around and go over to the window and crack it open, keeping the curtains closed.

From my view, her knees are on the couch and her bottom is attracting my eyes.

I’m not even sure if I’m breathing right now.

“I can feel you looking, take the picture” I do as she says, I raise the camera and it captures the sight of her.

She’s able to do everything effortlessly and I don’t know-how.

When she gets back up, and she comes back over to me, the room only gets hotter when she places her hand on my right thigh.

“You can’t do anything like this” Then her hand moves over to my problem. “Let me help you”

I have to adjust my glasses again when she goes down on her knees, God this was a perfect sight.

If it was even possible her eyes looked directly into mine and wouldn’t let them look anywhere else but her. Her fingertip traced over the line on my sides that disappeared into my pants.

“I can’t have you working so pent up, tell me who got you so hard?” She puts her lips directly over my pants, and I have to ball my fist at the sides to control my breathing.

“Y-You, I’m like this because of you” It pleases her when I tell her she’s the cause of my situation, she presses her lips over my pants again and it doesn’t help the fact that she’s looking at me while doing it.

“Then it’ll only be right if I help take care of it right?”

chapt 32 • News

this book is filled with mature content without a warning but here’s one anyway

x

It pained me to put on an act for the council this morning.

Telling them I’ve learned so many new things from being here when really all I’ve learned is where to put my lips and tongue to get Alessio to softly moan out my name or whimper until he gets embarrassed and covers his mouth with his fist. 

He falls back onto the seat behind him, legs opened and inviting me in.

He helps me unbutton his pants, I see how hard he is through his boxers and yet again his size will never fail to surprise me, ever.

You wouldn’t look at a person like Alessio and expect something that could make your thighs weak in a matter of seconds.

“W-Wait” Alessio reached to the other side of the seat, taking the pillow behind him as he placed it down for the comfort of my knees.

“Don’t worry, I won’t be down here for long” I ran my fingers over his left thigh seeing how red in the face he was which only grew deeper.

I wrapped my hand around his base, almost hypnotized by the pre-cum waiting for my tongue on his tip.

Judging by how his hands were balled on the side of him, Alessio was impatient and desperate for a release he needed something to tug on.

“Grab my hair” Alessio looked at me with those shaped eyebrows pinched together.

“Grab my hair and show me where you want my mouth” He twitched in my hands, the uncontrollable blush spread further on his face and he took his lip into his mouth.

Alessio hesitated for a second, then his hand reached up to gather my hair in his veiny fist. He made sure not to grip my hair hard, he looked into my eyes to make sure I was still okay with this.

I stuck my tongue out for him, just as instructed, Alessio guided my tongue to his tip where I closed my lips around him.

When he felt my tongue lick the pre-cum that had been dripping from his tip onto his shaft, he let his eyes slip shut.

I moaned around him at his taste but he was still hesitant about hurting me seeing how he would loosen his grip on my hair.

I brought him deeper into my mouth, just the way I knew he liked and that caused him to clutch onto my hair tighter as his eyes were still closed. His lips opened and let out moans that made me wet.

His head was back, on the wall behind him, the view was hell. His abs were in my perfect line of vision and his chest heaved up and down as he tried his hardest to find his breath.

He didn’t notice that he was grasping onto my hair tighter instead, Alessio was guiding my head further down until he let out a throaty sound.

When he let me find air, I moved my tongue all around his tip.

“H-How do you do this to me…” His moans and desperate words were spilling out of him when he opened his eyes and looked at me just for his eyes to grow weak and close again.

I was not expecting what happened next, but my hands quickly braced themselves on his thighs.

Alessio let go of my hair, I don’t think he realized that his hands were now on either side of my head and his hips rose off the seat, pushing himself deeper into my mouth.

“God Honey… you’re mouth…” I felt warm tears brimming in my eyes.

When his hips thrust up again, only this time half of him filled my mouth and caused me to choke which made Alessio’s eyes snap open.

He removed his hands quickly, I let out a cough, and Alessio’s lips curled downward.

“I-I’m sorry… I didn’t know I was…” I got off of my knees, hovering above his lap now and pulling the string holding my top together, his eyes drop to my nipples making them hard underneath his gaze.

“I don’t mind, besides it’s hot when you lose control” I drag my finger down his pink lips.

I reached for my bag on the side of us, taking out the condom I kept inside because I knew we wouldn’t get through this without something happening.

“Y-You like it?” I nod my head with a lip bite and capture his lips, taking his bottom lip between my teeth and reaching between us with my hand.

I feel how sensitive he is when I roll the condom onto his dick, seeing how he moans when I rub his tip over my wet folds, the delicious heat of my body returns as I sink onto him.

Alessio whimpers in my mouth, his hands shooting for my hips as he pauses me on top of him for a second to relax.

I didn’t let the second pass before my hips were already moving themselves as my mind went blank and thought only about pleasure.

“H-Honey…” My hands splayed on his strong arms, my head in his neck along with my lips as his breathy voice whispered into my ear.

“Y-You feel.. so good” The tone of his voice and how it was soft yet deep made me clench around him harder, this made it hard for me to even focus on the work I was making on his skin.

I lifted myself, and fell back down, “You make me feel good” I repeated the action.

I could feel him deep inside of me, my hands on his abdomen while my hips lost themselves on top of him.

I arched my back and my mouth dropped open, His size should be illegal… fuck. I couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything, my head went blank, nothing else came to mind, only the sounds he was making and the sounds he caused me to make.

“I-I like making you feel good” His thumb ran circles on my lower back, it made me throb.

Alessio kept his attention on me as he took one of my hard nipples into his warm mouth, his soft lips felt gentle on my breast. My hips jerked faster and it made the vibration of his mouth shoot down my spine.

My head became dizzy when I felt his tongue swipe over my nipple, I gripped his shoulders while his mouth traveled to the spot over my breast. The spot that drove me crazy when he lapped his tongue over and sucked gently to leave a mark.

Feeling him kiss my neck and breast made my walls spasm around him, “Alessio…” my words disappeared when he began to raise his hips to meet and connect with my ass.

“… I like hearing you say my name like this” Holy fucking shit, I said his name again but my voice was weaker this time as he went deeper and deeper with each time his hips thrust up.

Where the fuck is this coming from.

I dipped my head into his neck, “Someone’s getting bold” the brush of my lips against his pulse made Alessio’s hips stop, allowing me to roll my own now.

I kissed his chest and littered the area with marks before focusing on his neck, grazing my teeth slightly.

“Y-You said you like it when I told you what I like…” He rasped, panting into the air.

His abdomen tensed, and his hands squeezed my hips, “Are you close?” I peaked up from his neck and listened for the faint and quiet “yes”

I was close, I felt how my body wouldn’t stop moving as it chased for a release, all the pent-up tension in my body. I felt myself losing my own rhythm of breathing.

“Should I stop?” Alessio shook his head, he bit his lip to silence his whimpers.

“P-Please don’t… please keep going” Fuck, I couldn’t keep teasing him no matter how badly I wanted to, every soft plead he let out sounded so fucking hot and it brought me closer and closer.

My movements stilled when Alessio’s hands cupped my ass as he released into the condom and made my name the last thing on his lips. He caused my own climax to erupt and I bucked my hips for the last time.

I lifted my head from his shoulder, the only things that could be heard were the heavy pants and unsteady breaths.

“So glad I could be of help.”

I wasn’t a virgin, far from it, but the way my thighs were sore and my hips felt weak reminded me of the same feelings I went through losing my virginity for the first time to some guy I don’t remember.

“Honey, are you listening?” Father interrupts Celeste about something from her job, her smile goes idle and they both look at me.

I didn’t hear a word she said. I didn’t care.

We all sat in the small restaurant in town, a surprise visit sprung on me when I saw Father’s driver opening the door for them outside of the academy.

“Hm?” Father rolls his eyes, Celeste puts her hand on top of his closed fist on the table.

“It’s okay dear, I don’t know why I thought talking about being an assistant for your company would interest her” Celeste peered, then put her hands back in her lap.

“We should talk about you Honey, your father said that you were pretty upset about being at Hartford, has that changed?” She looked interested in my answer, and my father was away on his phone.

“Some people make it tolerable.”

“I’m glad it’s getting better for you, besides you only have a year left so you’ll be free to do anything after that” Her words made father look up from his phone, a look of disapproval written over it.

“Anything that isn’t reckless or careless” His favorite two words to describe me.

“It’s a good thing I haven’t done anything of the sort right?” I lift my glass to meet Celeste, who is completely unaware that father and I are arguing right now but in the calmest form as we have always.

“Do you still take your pills?” He questions, drinking from his glass.

“I don’t need them anymore” I haven’t touched those pills since I was seventeen.

“You do need them, they are the only thing helping you control yourself” His eyes and voice are stern making Celeste go quiet.

“I don’t need them and they didn’t help, I mean unless you mean help me feel like absolute shit” Father’s hand clenches harder in the fist.

“You have to help yourself to Honey,” He said looking somewhere else, like he always did.

I was reckless at sixteen, I didn’t even try to attempt to control my urges, I acted on impulse.

A lot of things Grandma called an embarrassment and things Father wouldn’t even look at me for days when they found out.

Then she gave me pills that were supposed to help but did the opposite, the same helpful pills made it hard for me to sleep throughout the night, ruined my appetite, and caused me to stress over little things.

The pills made symptoms worse, it made me feel disgusted with myself many times. The feeling of shame and regret when I’d feel when I would give into my urges would leave me feeling like shit for a while.

One of the reasons why I didn’t drink.

That and because I hated not remembering what happened when I was drunk.

“I’m doing better without them, besides the academy has a very strict no drug policy.”

“They aren’t drugs”—

“Baby, can we move on. We can’t take all of her time” Celeste says, taking Father’s hand in hers.

“Yes please get to the point of this joyous day” My sarcastic smile matches my tone.

“Well”, Celeste starts, “Your father and I have been seeing each other for some time, before I was introduced to you and before I became a permanent member of his company and..”—

“I’ve asked Celeste to marry me” Father wasted no time.

I almost laughed.

“You what?” I think I was imagining this, hopefully, I was. But telling how Celeste smiled dearly, it wasn’t a dream or a part of my imagination.

“I’ve asked Celeste to marry me and she said yes. We’re engaged” I look between them both, this had to be some sort of sick joke right?

Right?

“Engaged? As in soon to be married?” It’s like I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Honey, I know this is a lot for you”—

I cut her off, “Is that it? Is that all you wanted to say?” She looks at my father whose eyes are dead set on me and he nods.

“That is all” I remove the napkin from my lap and stand but Celeste stands as well. I could even look at him right now.

“Are you okay with this? You haven’t expressed how you feel about this” Her eyes look for something in mine but she can’t find anything.

“I don’t think how I feel would matter, would it?” I look down at my father who doesn’t even bother to express his concern about how I feel.

I left the restaurant after that, getting in the car when the driver opened the door for me.

I texted Alessio that I would be the one knocking at his door.

He soon opened his door but he was in a black tank top showing off his muscles, he was panting and apologized for the weights laying around his room.

But I hadn’t even noticed them, I was too busy feeling horny because of how hot he looked right now. I brought our lips together, and his hands went down the sides of my body to my waist, pressing my back to the door to close it.

I kissed him harder, he let my tongue take more control and my knee ran itself up his mid-thigh.

When I pulled away, he was panting heavier than when he opened the door.

“I just need to shower and then we can…um continue.”

I removed my shoes and skirt, going to remove my shirt as well. “I don’t feel like waiting, I’ll join you. That’s okay with you right?”

“T-That’s fine with me, I’ll get you a towel.”

• It’ll continue in the next chapter ❤️.

chapt 33 • Out of Mind

I stood behind Alessio removing my clothes as he took off his shirt in one swift pull over his head.

Back muscles contract and relax and catch my attention and I forget the water is running behind me. He takes off his glasses and puts them beside the sink and I can’t wait.

When he turns around, my lips are on his, my hands are flat against his abs and my lower back comes in contact with the cold sink counter.

I guide his hands down to my thighs, and he responds by putting them on the back of my thighs and lifting me with ease to sit me on the counter.

My hand is in his hair, pulling him back while I kiss down his neck over his collarbone and chest.

Then I feel the coldness of the counter disappear from underneath me and my legs instinctively wrap around his waist. My eyes are still closed as I kiss over his favorite spots.

He slides the glass door close and my body feels warm droplets of water falling over us both. My back is against the shower wall, my mind is focused on one thing and one thing only as it tries to forget the events that happened earlier.

Alessio puts me down and I feel how hard he is against my thigh. I take him in my hand and join our lips as my hand rubs him up and down enough to moan in my mouth.

I run my thumb over his tip and move my hand all the way down his dick and twist my hand when I make it back to his tip.

Alessio breaks this kiss and places a hand beside my head, breathing heavily close to my lips.

“Look at me” He opens his eyes and searches between mine. When I begin to slow down, he drops his head to my shoulder.

“F-Faster, please Honey” I give him what he wants to speed up the pace of my hand while he keeps his face buried in my neck as I feel his unstable breaths against my neck.

I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of hearing him say please.

“So polite, even when you’re trying cum” When my hand reaches his tip, I squeeze gently and continue to stroke him at a faster pace.

Alessio lifts his head from my neck, tilting it back to contain the sounds from his mouth.

“H-How is it so easy for you to say things like this?” His hand beside my head balls into a fist.

“Because I know you like it, how hard it makes you and how badly it makes you want to cum” Alessio’s body shudders, his whimpers grow messier and he can barely keep his eyes open, telling me that he’s growing closer and closer.

Alessio grips at his wet hair, muttering my name softly and repeatedly. I squeeze him at the base and tease my thumb over his tip.

“Cum for me, cum for me so I can show you what you do to me” When I feel warmth on my lower stomach, I stop stroking him. His lips are gaped open and uncontrollable breaths escape.

I take one of his hands and place them on my inner thigh, gliding up my skin and sending quivers through my body when I take his fingers and glide them through my wet folds.

I bring his index finger to my lips and wrap them around his fingertips and taste myself on them. Looking him directly in his eyes as he fixes his gaze on my lips and as I pull his finger back out.

I turn around and get the loofah and hand it to him, his face tells me he’s still recovering and processing everything.

“You said you wanted to shower right? Then shower, don’t let me distract you”

While Alessio finishes in the shower, I’m already putting on my clothes and looking for my other shoe to leave.

The ring on my phone makes me turn it over just to find my father sending me an invitation to his engagement party coming up in a week. And knowing Grandma, she’ll make me attend whether I like it or not.

Both of them effortlessly ruin my life, and they see nothing wrong with it.

Alessio soon opens the door, pulling his shirt down when he sees me getting ready to leave.

“You’re leaving? I don’t mind if you stay for a little bit” He tells me, the steamy air from the bathroom follows him into the room.

“I have stuff to take care of, I should get back to my room” My voice is blank, I don’t even look at him before I’m shutting his door and gripping my phone in my hand walking as fast as I can back to my room.

When I make it back to my room, I go into the box far deep in my closet next to the box of ugly clothes Grandma won’t stop sending me.

Inside of the box, besides some of her butterfly paintings that I took when father was on his way to throw them out as if they were trash. Was the only photo I had of her, maybe the only photo where she wasn’t forced to wear or be something she didn’t want to.

I don’t know where this photo was taken, and half of the photo is cut off but she’s looking at someone next to her smiling, actually smiling.

She seems genuinely happy here, I flip the photo over to find my birthday scribbled on the corner.

It’s not like I wasn’t expecting my father to meet someone else after mother died, he showed little concern for her during and after her life.

Grandma tried her hardest to erase her life from ours as she was a curse. I never understood how they could just forget her the way they have, Grandma doesn’t even want to speak about her and father hates it when I say her name.

My lip starts to tremble but I bite it to stop, I never let myself cry because of them but I fail terribly every time.

I keep the photo with me and push the box back in its spot.

I go into the bathroom and open the cabinet taking out the pills father wants me to so desperately take, it’s still filled to the top since I got here.

I take one of the pills in my hand when my door gets knocked on. I put the pill back and the bottle in the cabinet and opened my door.

“I couldn’t um.. help but notice you looked upset about something before you left and when you came to my room… I wanted to ask if you were okay” Alessio stands tall in my doorway, adjusting his glasses.

I let him step inside so no one sees him, “I’m fine” I blankly respond.

“A-Are you sure.. you didn’t say much after the shower”—

“I was thinking about the photos, did you already send them in?” I changed the topic quickly, not wanting to think or talk about my father.

I tie my hair up and take off my skirt, Alessio instantly looking away as if he hadn’t seen it all before. Still so respectful after all that we’ve done.

“I sent in the ones you said you like the most… I have the rest if you want to keep them” When I’m done, I tap his shoulder to let him know I’m done.

“Keep them, I want you to have them” He looks down at me in the beige silk nightgown which only stops at my mid-thigh, not hiding my chest at all with the deep V neck and curve of my breast.

“S-Should we start building the next concept then?” He clears his throat and finds it hard to keep his eyes on mine for more than five seconds.

I went over to my bed and had a seat and gestured for him to come over and he did. He sits next to me, almost stiffly. I place my legs on his lap and Alessio looks down at them.

“I-I was thinking about painting, you would pick where you’re comfortable” He subconsciously moves his hand to my thigh.

“You can paint my back, you’ll have more room to paint whatever is going on up there” I poke the side of his head and his lips curl up into a laugh.

Alessio turns his head my way, not expecting my face to be this close to his.

“I know you said you were fine but… I don’t mind listening if something is bothering you” His voice is soft and soothing, calm like the wind blowing through my white curtains.

“Nothing is bothering me” I lean closer, sneaking my finger underneath his chin.

“There’s nothing for you to listen to except how good you make me feel.”

“You should be happy for your father, seeing him happy should be enough” Grandma voices through the phone. I try to keep my voice low knowing Alessio is still sitting on my bed.

“Happy for him? I’m not happy, or does that not matter to you either? Because nobody cares that I’d rather fucking die than have another woman who I barely know become my mother” She tells me to watch my language.

“All he’s ever tried to do is get you to get along with Celeste, her efforts are not returned by you Honey, maybe if you could stop and understand what a good person”—

“I seriously don’t get how you two do it, care about everyone else but me. It’s good to know that I’m so cared about in this shitty family.”

“Honey, you will watch your language when you speak to me. Disrespect is not tolerated”—

“But not giving a shit about your granddaughter is tolerated I guess” I hang up the phone and leave my phone on the bathroom sink. Ignoring the buzzing sound of her calling me back.

I go back into the room, instead of flipping through his book of paintings like before. Alessio is on the phone as well until he hangs up.

“Let’s take a little break, get some unwanted things off of our minds” I sit back on the bed, this time on my knees on the side of him.

“Y-Your Grandma invited my family to your father’s wedding, my mother just called,” He says before I even get to lean in and do anything.

“Of course, she did” I get up, now more annoyed than I already was in the first place. Now more people know my father is getting married and now I have to deal with Carter knowing this as well.

“Honey I”—

“Let’s call it night, I’m getting tired,” I say without warning, my stomach growing an uneasy feeling that I want to sleep off and the feeling of a headache arising.

I held the door open for him, “I didn’t mean to bring it up… I’m sorry” His face and eyes match the sincere and kind look both reflecting down at me but I ignore it.

“It’s fine, it doesn’t matter. You should go before someone comes out of their room” Alessio looks at me for a second more, then nods his head before turning and leaving.

I close my door and go back to my bathroom and pull out the pill bottle and the photo lying on the counter.

I stare at the photo and then at the pill in my hand, and shut my eyes.

I can’t do it.

I shove the pill bottle back into my cabinet and I find myself sitting on the rug in front of the sink with my mother’s photo on my lap.

I was going to have to watch my father marry someone else in a week, and be the smiling and happy daughter everyone believes I’m going to be.

• I know this wasn’t the shower scene you were expecting but I can’t give it to you just yet.

• My birthday is at the end of the month & I’ve been busy this past week trying to make time for myself, so excuse this late update.

chapt 34 • Someone New

“Honey, this is Jaxon Blake. He’s new to the academy and the council has volunteered you to show him around” Carter introduces me.

Why the fuck would they do that? I’m the last person to be showing anyone around.

I look over at Jaxon, he’s the “my parents think this shit-hole will help my behavior” type, like me based on how he’s dressed and the fact that he won’t stop looking me up and down.

Jaxon’s hair was black and wavy, he combed his hand through his hair to fix the strands that seemed to do what they wanted. He was dressed in black matching his hair, not even trying to hide the tattoo on his biceps and arm, he gave me a small wave before standing up.

“This might not be so bad” He stuffs his hands in his pockets and I roll my eyes. When he talked I got a glimpse of a silver tongue piercing.

“It will be for me” His lips perk up in amusement.

“Normally I would make Adeline do this but the council will like to involve you more” Carter opens the door for us, “You show him the main buildings and the classes, then to his room, nothing more than that”

When Carter closes the door, Jaxon turns to me. “So what’s first, tour guide”

I really don’t want to do this.

“I’m going to make this quick this as fast as possible because I don’t want to do this and I’m sure you don’t want to do this” I cross my arms and think about where I can show him first.

“Hm, I don’t know. I’m re-thinking it now and I really want to do this” He reminds me of Madelyn’s brother, never knowing when to quit.

“Let’s just get this over with” I don’t wait for him to follow me and I walk out of the building.

I begin to explain the three buildings and enter where all the classes are. Explaining where the prayer lectures are and the actual lectures.

“Then over there you’ll find the rooms, just look for your number and you’ll find your room” I turn around and he’s looking at me, not once looking at anything I’ve shown him.

“I vividly remember the guy back there said, you had to show me to my room” He takes his hands out of his pockets, revealing his tattooed hands.

Then I spot Adeline from the corner of my eye and I have never been so excited to see her before.

“Why would I show you, when our Headmaster’s assistant does such a wonderful job” I walk us over to Adeline who lightly jumps when she feels me tap her shoulder.

“Adeline, have you been able to meet our new student, what was it, Jason?” I look at Jaxon but he’s looking at Adeline with a smirk, who’s also looking at him but for the first time.

Adeline is blushing.

“Jaxon actually, and you’re right, I’d rather her show me to my room” he winks and Adeline does the same thing Charolette does when she’s nervous, she bites her lip and looks at the ground.

“Perfect, then I’ll be on my way” I leave the two and continue my way.

Maybe I should’ve taken my chances and shown Jaxon to his room. It would be entirely better than walking around wedding dress shops with my grandma and Celeste.

“You can choose any dress you like Honey” Celeste happily says, looking at all the white bride dresses as she shows me the side for bridesmaids which she asked me to be.

“Don’t be silly, I’ll pick her dress. I don’t want her picking anything inappropriate for your setting” Grandma buds in, five of the worst dresses I have ever seen lying on her arm.

“I’m more than capable of picking a wedding dress, it’s not like they have any I like anyways” I pull out a random dress and immediately hang it back up.

“We can try a different store after I get mine, there’s a cute boutique across from us” Celeste chimes in again, with the same smile she’s been giving me since we got here.

“Honey will choose a dress here, we aren’t going through all this trouble over her dress” Grandma picks a few more dresses and Celeste looks at her with a noticing stare.

“Alright, then she can help me pick my dress, and you keep looking for a dress for her” Celeste suggests and Grandma agrees and walks her way.

Celeste and I walk in silence down the rows of wedding dresses, she shakes her head at each one.

“Why don’t we go across the street instead, I can’t find the dress I want in here. We can make it back before your Grandma notices” I take a look at Grandma who’s too busy picking out dresses she believes I’m going to wear.

“Fine, anything to be away from her” She surprises me and takes my hand and we leave the store before Grandma notices, Celeste and I hurry across the street into the smaller but cuter boutique.

She seems happier with the new set of dresses as she starts picking them up. I wander over to the bridesmaid’s dresses and look through them.

I found one that was actually nice, something that I would wear and would piss off Grandma.

It was white silk, with two thin straps and completely backless with a very high slit going up my thigh. I held it up to my body in the mirror and Celeste appeared behind me.

“Can you help me with the zipper please?” I hang up the dress before she sees it and go over and help her.

She stands in front of the mirror on a little circular stand, her dress is long with silver rhinestones. With a slender torso but a puffy bottom like a ball gown.

Celeste puffed out the bottom more with a smile on her face, I helped her out on the veil and she clasped her hands to her chin.

“What do you think?” She looked at me through the mirror for my honest opinion .

“It’s nice, I like it,” I say truthfully, the dress looked good on her, but I still didn’t understand why she was going to wear such a nice dress for a terrible man like my father.

“Why him? Out of everyone in the world, what could you possibly see in him? Feel for him?” She freezes as I zip up the last of the dress.

“What could he have possibly done for you to say yes to him? To want a life with him?” Celeste’s eyes drop to the floor and she sighs.

“Your father is very kind to me at and outside of work, we’ve grown to know and love each other.”

“I’ll be the first to tell you that it won’t last long” She frowns and turns back to the mirror.

“I know it may be hard for you to accept, but I want us to get to know each other Honey. I don’t want us to have bad blood because of this” She removes her veil.

“I want to get to know more about you other than what I see when you’re around your Grandma and father” Now I’m the one looking at the floor, then she takes both of my hands in hers.

“You’re right, it is hard to accept. Especially when they all think that you’re going to replace my mother” I feel my eyes begin to sting.

“Honey no… I’m not trying to replace her, she’s your mother, I’m just trying to be there for you. I could never take her place in your heart, I just want to be a part of your heart” I can’t even raise my chin to look at her.

That’s when I hear Grandma’s voice from behind me. “There you are, Celeste I’m sorry if she dragged you over here”

“I thought it would be nice to look at more dresses and asked Honey to come along” Celeste keeps her hand in mine, my mind still thinking about what she said.

“You don’t have to cover for her, but I took the liberty of picking out a dress for her. So you’re free to go back to the academy, drivers outside waiting for you” Grandma hands me the bag of the dress she picked out.

“For once I actually agree with you” I grab the bag and leave without saying goodbye to Celeste but she makes sure to say it even while I leave the small boutique.

“Finally decided to come and see me?” Adam holds his door open for me and I enter.

“No, I’ve come to see the paintings. But since you’re here, I guess I can tell you that my father’s getting married and I just spent the afternoon with her” I plop down on the couch and take the small painting off the wall and look at it.

“Married? I’m going to guess you aren’t the biggest fan of this sudden engagement” He sits down on his chair in front of me.

“Every time my father gets in a relationship, Grandma always tells me that she’s the one to make him happy and that I should be happy to have a new mother” I trace the outline of the dagger through the rose in the painting.

“She told me she doesn’t want to replace her at all, that she just wants to build a relationship with me and I didn’t know how to respond or react, so I left” I raise my eyes to look at Adam and he’s already looking at me.

“Why couldn’t you react?”

“Because no one’s ever just tried to get to know me and I’m so used to every woman my father dated after my mother to hate me for whatever reason they can come up with and never having to speak to them.”

“Honey, I think you’re afraid and scared that someone is trying to get close to you and your first instinct is to push them away” I mess with the ruby red ring on my middle finger.

“It’s okay, you don’t always need to know how to respond. You’re not used to it, you’ll learn, it’ll take time but you’ll learn” Adam offers me a grape, he holds the small black bowl across the table and I take one.

“How do you have an answer for everything?”

“I’ve seen it all before.”

“When are you going to stop apologizing, I already said it was fine” I put the apology note that was waiting for me on the floor of my room on the table beside him as he reads his book in the empty library.

Alessio had left another “I’m sorry” message for me, this time it was written in his cursive writing on one of those old papers you’d see in Romeo and Juliet.

“I just wanted to make sure you knew… you were distant after I brought it up, I felt bad for ruining the mood” He closes his book, making sure not to lose his spot with his silk ribbon bookmark.

I sit on the table, my legs next to him. “You didn’t ruin anything, my Grandma can do that without even being in the same room as me”

“And before you ask me if I’m sure, I am” I reach over and place his book in my lap, playing with the dark red ribbon holding his reading page.

“It might not be so bad, getting to see you in a suit is already making me wet” He sucks in a quick breath.

“Now I should be the one asking if you’re okay, your face is all red” I give him back his book and get off the table.

“I-It’s hard to control it when you say something like that out of nowhere” I’m standing behind the chair he’s sitting on, my arms placed on his shoulder and nails running up his buttoned shirt.

“I like it when you blush, it’s one of my favorite reactions to get out of you.”

I will always thank this library for being so old that the cameras don’t work, and since no one but Alessio comes in, Carter has never thought to replace them with new ones.

“I-It’s embarrassing how much I blush around you” The shade of red on his cheeks grows deeper.

“I find it cute and hot, I like that you only blush around me” I run my index finger over his jaw and turn his head to the side and my thumb meets his lips.

“W-We can’t do anything here…. someone might hear” My lips perk up when his phone rings and his father’s contact appears and I step away from him.

“I don’t want to but I have to”—

“I should go back to the new student before your father notices that I ditched him.”

“New student?” Alessio grabs his bag and we exit the library.

“I have to show him around and get him familiar with the school for a week, lucky me right?” We stop in front of Carter’s office and Alessio says goodbye and closes the office door when Jaxon appears.

“Miss me?” He steps closer with a smirk on his face and shoves him lightly away.

“Not even a little bit.”

“I’m sure you will when this week is over.”

I stop in front of him, “I promise you I won’t.”

• Something short ❤️

chapt 35 • Eyes

“Honey… the intercom” My hands travel up his shirt to find his abs as my lips find that spot below his ear that makes Alessio’s voice turn an octave lower.

“It doesn’t seem like you want me to stop” I tease his abs with my index finger, and his hands run up and down my thighs as he finds a good place to steady me as he holds me up against the door.

“You know I don’t want you to…” His hands squeeze my waist slightly when he sets me down.

“And I don’t want to, but of course, your father has to ruin everything” I run my fingers through his hair and try to fix it as best as I can.

He’s staring down at me while I do so, “What?” My eyes are focused on his hair but I can see the thoughts in his head spinning around.

“N-Nothing it’s nothing, you just have really captivating eyes…” I finish fixing his hair and lean my back against the door.

“Do they make you want to stay a little bit longer?” I stare deeper into his eyes and he nods.

I pull him by his tie, his body flush against me and his hand on the side of my face. I move my index finger down his lips causing Alessio to lean in and I smile when the intercom buzzed once more.

“Too bad isn’t it, I’ll go first to give you a little time to cool off…” I lay a kiss on the corner of his lips.

I crack the door open slightly to make sure no one’s passing by and I slip out the door.

“I’m going to make a wild guess and say you aren’t the most favorited student here” Jaxon appears around the corner, leaning his shoulder on the wall where I’ve stopped.

“Why would you say that?” I stopped in front of the room where Alessio is currently inside.

“I sat through a thirty-minute meeting and heard something about you, and you are a good conversation starter” His arms are crossed and unlike me during my first days here, he actually wears his uniform, the short sleeve button up and tie showing off his tattoos.

“Now I get why they stuck me with you, neither of us are the best influence or a star student, but we might just be the most interesting” He smirks.

“Is there anywhere you need to be?” I need to get him away from this door.

“I can think of a few places” His eyes give me a suggestive look and roll my eyes.

“You make me actually want to go to my lecture, which I’m going to go to now” I walk off but of course, Jaxon is right behind me but it’s leading him away from the door for Alessio to sneak from the room.

“Isn’t that what you should be doing? Going to your lecture” I enter the room and the Professor hands us both books and I sit in my seat while he sits in the one right behind me.

“Six more days,” I say to myself.

“I hate this, I always get nervous when she says she needs to talk. It’s either her scaring me half to death because she thinks it’s cute when I’m freaking out when she does a long pause, or it’s her telling me she wants to do something I enjoy” Charolette paces herself back and forth in my room.

“Last time she took me on a picnic and then we went to look at puppies but she hates puppies because she’s more of a cat person, she showed me a picture of her cat and it’s so cute”—

“I’m sorry, I always ramble when it comes to her” She finally sits on the bed beside me.

“It’s fine, seeing you like this is entertaining and way better than showing around the new guy” I bit into one of the raspberry heart-shaped cookies Charolette made.

“The new guy? Oh! I saw you two in the halls earlier, Madeline thinks you two are sneaking around and that since you both have tattoos you’re getting along a bit too well.”

“Madeline also believes I’m interested in her brother, I mean maybe I purposely flirted with him in front of her to piss her off but that’s only because she’s made it her job to figure everything about my life” I scoot further on the bed and put the duvet on my lap.

Charolette then looks down at the freshly baked cookies on her lap. “What is it?” when she doesn’t answer I keep looking at her, when she raises her head to look at me she quickly looks away.

“Your eyes are very intimidating!” She puts the cookies on the table next to her and stands up.

“Are you going to tell me?” She sighs.

“I um.. well I heard her talking about how you would sleep with anyone who flirts with you and the only reason why her brother shows interest in you is because your some sex addict” She blabbers out quickly and starts to bite on her bottom lip.

“I have never had someone so obsessed with my life other than my Grandma. It’s a sad thing honestly, that she thinks so low of me that I would sleep with someone like her brother” I reach over for another cookie.

“You’re not upset? I thought you’d be trying to go and confront her about this” Charolette sits back down.

“Everything she said was a lie, even if she and whoever else thinks otherwise. I know it’s a lie. Besides, I wouldn’t call myself a sex addict, if I was a sex addict we would not be sitting here eating cookies right now” Charolette pauses when she bites into her cookie.

“I have hypersexuality Charolette, an obsession with sexual thoughts, urges, and behaviors the term is nymphomaniac, not a sex addict” Charolette only blinks at me and I put the cookie stuck in her mouth down on the tray.

Maybe when I was sixteen I’d call myself a sex addict, but as I grow older it’s easier to stop myself but I still struggle with all the temptations and thoughts. By temptations I mean Alessio Rivers.

“Well it isn’t right for her to tell your business, it’s like she’s completely forgotten everything she’s done, but of course, she can forget, her parents wouldn’t let anyone hear about the things their golden children do. They’re so stuck up and just”—

“Sorry, I just think it’s unfair that everyone judges who you are because of something you can’t help. You’re an amazing friend and person Honey” Charolette surprises me when she hugs me.

“I didn’t know you consider me a friend” Her arms are still around me but she laughs.

“You’re the first person I’ve met who I can talk about anything to or doesn’t think I’m annoying for rambling. Of course, you’re my friend” She smiles and lets go of me.

Her phone dings with a message from Astra, whatever was in that text made Charolette blush like a strawberry.

“She wants me to meet her in her room… I’ve never been in her room… she told me to wear the skirt that she likes… I need to go” She tells me I can have the rest of the cookies and takes her bag and rushes out of the door with a red face full of panic.

I woke up noticing I had taken another nap which was interrupted by the sound of a knocking hand on the door.

Outside of my door was a box nicely decorated.

The box had a nice beige ribbon around it holding a note. I took it inside my room and took the note to read it.

Saw you looking at these the other and thought they’d all look stunning on you - Celeste.

Opening the long box, five dresses waited inside. Each was made of fine silk, one raspberry red like wine, one white of silk that I saw at the wedding dress boutique with Celeste, the other one was black, it would go along with the color of my obsidian black hair. The last one was a champagne color, all perfect for the wedding.

All dresses would drive Grandma to an early grave.

All the more reason to wear them.

I didn’t think she was looking when I was wandering off by myself. I hung them all up in my closet except for the champagne one, it would suit better for a wedding.

I sat around for a while, Celeste was different from all of the women my father dated. They’d all act as if I wasn’t there, and wouldn’t even waste a breath to tell me as much as Celeste has. I thought about her saying she wanted to get to know me.

That was new as well, but it was clear to me that she might’ve actually meant it.

“I will never understand why you don’t use this,” I say as I lean my head back on the headrest of Alessio’s jacuzzi as the warm water surrounds my body and he sits across from me.

My eyes are closed but I open them when I don’t hear him respond, Alessio’s eyes are set on the water droplets fanning over my chest.

“I’m still thinking about getting them pierced, what do you think?”

“P-Pierced, I-I think it would… you would look really good with them” He clears his throat and turns his head away and it makes a smile crawl its way to my face.

“I can’t stop thinking about how good it would feel to have your tongue and mouth around them” I feel my nipples press into the material of my bikini top.

“Y-You’re torture…” Alessio speaks with a heavy set of deep breaths.

“Fine, I’ll stop for now. Tell me about the new concept you’ve been thinking about” I relax my body and turn the jet higher to massage my lower back with the increase of water pressure.

“I have a couple of ideas but I want to make sure they’re all fine with you. I can show you, when you come back to the library” Then I remember, I was supposed to meet him again but then I got sidetracked with Jaxon.

“Shit, sorry. Your father and the council have made it their number one priority to be the babysitter of the obnoxious new student” I turn down the jet and move over to the side where Alessio sits.

“Are they that bad?” He parts his legs so I can sit on his lap.

“Be glad you haven’t met him yet, but it’s only for this week so I’ll be done with him soon” Alessio only nods, clear that he wasn’t aware of Jaxon until the day I brought up a new student.

I look at his neck and I notice his cross necklace is gone, now I can’t remember if he was wearing it this morning either. The only thing around his neck was a gold chain that was incredibly distracting.

“I’m starting to notice what a terrible influence I am to you” I bite my lip and play with his chain.

“But you like it, don’t you?” When my eyes switch back to him, he shakes his head yes.

I ran my hands up his muscles, I was incredibly serious about watching him workout, the thought already had my mind and pulse racing.

“It’s hard not to admit to everything looking in your eyes… captivating remember” The soft yet firm grip of his hands takes way to my ass, which I don’t think he realizes allows me to feel the perfect outline of him.

“Are we meeting tomorrow?… To go over the concepts I think you’d really like.”

“I can’t tomorrow, everyone’s made it my job to show Jaxon around the academy and show him the rules of going out into town” I groan, forgetting that I’ve been put in charge of babysitting him.

“Jaxon?” His eyebrows squint together.

“The new guy, he sat behind me in our lecture” Alessio then figures out who I’m talking about.

“Will it take all of your time? Showing him around I mean… if it’s too late to meet at the library if you’re tired… you can come to my room” I trace hearts over his chest and he lets me.

“It shouldn’t take long, so maybe we can look at those concepts with a few… interruptions along the way” Alessio sucks in a breath when he feels my hips roll down on his lower half.

He lets his head drop to my shoulder and a sigh escapes his lips. “Just make sure you pray extra hard tonight, and maybe I can show you a few concepts I have in mind”

“Just a warning, they have everything to do with having you deep inside of me,” I say lastly in his ear before he squeezes my hips with a gentle yet hard touch

• To calm the panic from the last chapter, I can assure you this book is not a love triangle ❤️.

• Or maybe it is.

chapt 36 • Distractions

I enter my father’s office without knocking which turns into an instant regret when I see Madelyn sitting with both her parents, discussing something which comes to a halt when they all turn to look at me.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were meeting anyone. I’ll come back later” I go close the door but Madeline pushes her seat back and places her hand on her father’s shoulder.

“Can I please step outside?” Her father nods and Madelyn puts her hand on the doorknob, over mine and looks at me with a lip bite.

I’m the only one who sees it but it makes me quickly pull my hand away, apologizing as if it was my fault and turning and walking out.

“Alessio! wait” She walks faster to catch up to me, she puts her hand on my forearm and again my arm retracts back to my side.

If I were staring into eyes that reminded me of the sun shining down onto a sunset, my face would be heating terribly. My mind would fall blank and my body would fall to the sound of her soft yet seductive voice.

“Do you think you can assist me? Since your partner’s out showing around some guy” I realize Madelyn has been talking and I haven’t been listening to a word she’s said.

“I’m sorry, can you repeat that please?”

“I said, do you think you can assist me with my end of the year project since you won’t have to worry about your partner for today… I forget her name” She plays with her hair, trying to discreetly stand closer to me but I move back slightly.

“Honey, her name is Honey… why wouldn’t I have to worry about her today?” Madelyn shrugs.

“I mean she seemed so busy today, at least that’s what I saw and heard. Her walking out and going into town with the new guy, I thought that meant that you’d finally be free. They seemed to have a lot planned for the day” She says, eyes looking at me as if her mind is thinking about something other than this conversation.

“I’m sure she won’t be gone for long, I still have our project to work on… I should get going” Madelyn stops me again.

“Maybe I can help, or we can help each other. I realized your name wasn’t on the tutor list anymore and I’ve been desperately looking for one and think you’d be perfect” She’s closer now.

I don’t like it.

“If not then maybe you can tell me your room so I can stop by for some notes” She licks her lips, and my body has the urge to turn away and walk away, growing uncomfortable in the situation.

“I don’t think my notes would be beneficial for you… my penmanship isn’t the best” I excuse myself, walking away before she could come up with something else.

I haven’t forgotten that Honey was the one chosen to show Jaxon the town. The tour given during your first year is short, something that wouldn’t last long.

She assured me she’d make it quick, my mind then drifted off to how memorizing she looked sitting on my lap in the jacuzzi.

How damp her hair was when she’d lean her head back, or the wetness of her eyelashes when she finished her shower. How I was completely frozen when she walked out of my bathroom with nothing but a white towel.

When I got to my room, my bag hit the floor and I began to grow hot. Even on a chilly day, my body’s temperature rose because of her.

It wasn’t easy to get my mind to think of something other than Honey. Her smile invaded my head the most, especially the smile that appeared on her unexplainably sharp and enticing features when she knew she had succeeded to get me speechless.

I always found trouble putting words and sentences together around her.

I never knew I could stutter so much.

Most of the time when I’d think about how stupid I might’ve looked just staring at her, completely dumbfounded, I would grow embarrassed and think about it for the entire day.

I opened up one of the books she left me, this wasn’t going to be the best plan to get her off of my mind, and then I came to the conclusion.

I didn’t want to get her off my mind.

How in the world did I get stuck doing this?

Jaxon was taking his sweet time shopping for clothes which mainly consisted of black shirts that were a size bigger for him and dark-colored pants, mainly black.

I rolled my eyes so much today, that they probably would be stuck by the end of the day.

“We’re stuck with each other for a couple more hours, you can’t stand there and glare at me like you don’t like me” He kept his arm propped up on the rack of clothes next to me.

“I don’t like you, and we wouldn’t be if you’d hurry up” I shove the shirts he handed me randomly into his chest and he only smiled.

“Where’s your favorite? Your tattoo” He puts the clothes in the basket and walks into the checkout line.

“In places that aren’t for you to see” He hands the cashier a card that obviously isn’t his.

“Then who’s the lucky person who gets to see them? Because I would be more than happy to take their place” He gives me a wink and takes the bag and we walk out of the store.

“None of your business, are you done yet?” I should’ve never asked because he only kept walking in the opposite direction of the academy.

This time we walked into an ice cream parlor, again he took out the card and told me what kind I wanted.

“Don’t tell me you don’t like ice cream” He took his ice cream cone and waved it in my face.

“We’ve gone into almost every store, how do you still have money to spend” He chose cookie dough for me, instead of a cone he told the man to put it in one of the pink decorative bowls.

“Simple, it’s not my card. Think of it as a parting gift from my mother’s boyfriend… one he’s not too aware of” He shot me a wink and I thanked him for the ice cream.

“I’ve lived this story before, but in reverse” Of course I took the ice cream, it was cookie dough.

“Hasn’t everyone? I haven’t met a single person who’s proved the step-parent cliché wrong” This time I was just following him, I couldn’t even leave and go back to the academy even if I wanted to.

When he stops in front of me and tastes his ice cream, he’s looking all over my face as if he’s trying to figure something out.

“It’s your dad, isn’t it? He’s the problem.”

“It’s way more than just him” I use the spoon with a little flamingo to eat my ice cream.

“Well, for me it’s my mother. I mean I’m not the best son in the world, but I’m not the worst but I should be more important than some dude she just met” He’s still walking, eating his ice cream, and looking at the sky getting dark.

I’ve stopped eating my ice cream, now I’m just looking at Jaxon as if we’ve lived something similar.

“Be happy she isn’t marrying him after three or something months” He shakes his head.

“If she did marry him, she wouldn’t tell me. God she barely told me when he moved in..”

“We should go back, I know you’ve been wanting to since I showed up at your room” His demeanor changed fast.

“You asked me why I was sent here, now I get to ask you” I took another spoonful of ice cream.

“You don’t because you told me to fuck off when I asked you but let’s say that I have a very addicting personality” I could see the tall gates of the academy slowly as we got closer.

“Have you ever been over there?” I follow his pointed finger to the far side of the academy and tell him I haven’t and that mischievous smirk appears.

“Call your mother, she wants to go with you to the wedding” My father sits and signs off papers.

“You aren’t coming?” I help him file the papers when he’s done.

“The council has me in meetings all week, discussing some of the newer students and their progress” He adjusted his glasses, with a stressed look on his face.

“Why haven’t you told me Honey Rose was paired with you on the project? I had to hear it from your professor and that young girl who was in here earlier” I froze for a little bit.. not knowing how to respond but now he’s looking at me for a response.

I find myself growing nervous just by her name, and now I’m thinking about her teasing remarks.

“I couldn’t find the time to, it’s why I came into your office earlier.. to tell you” I don’t look at him, I’m looking down at the black files and he only hums to confirm.

“Remember what I told you, don’t let her distract you. She’s one of the students I’m going to have that meeting about, only recently have we seen any type of improvement from her” I nod my head, telling him that I won’t let her distract me.

But it was too late for that, I let her distract me terribly and I didn’t have a problem with it.

Honey was supposed to be back two hours ago, even my father began to grow suspicious. I didn’t think she would be gone for so long, even after she told me she wouldn’t be out with him for so long.

Then I thought back to what Madelyn had said, that they both had a lot planned today.

I didn’t like how I was thinking, I know I always tend to overthink the situation, and maybe I was overthinking this one as well.

She didn’t seem like she would have fun with him after what she told me about him.

“You need to remain focused for this last year, any little distraction will jeopardize everything we’ve worked to get you” Father puts his hand on my shoulder, then collects the files and puts them in their correct spots.

“Your mother seems to think you’re thinking about an art school, you’re not, are you?” His eyes are stern.

If I say anything other than what he wants me to, he’ll give me the same waste of time talk as he did my first year here.

“… I was thinking about it” When I see how his look only gets serious, “But I’m not anymore”

“Good, it’s just another distraction. You should be thinking about that interview I got with the board of the school I was telling you about.”

“Is that all?” I hand him the rest of the files and he tells me there’s nothing else and not to forget to pray tonight and hands me the keys to his car.

“We’re going home for the night to see your mother.”

When I left my father’s office, his words about the art school being another distraction didn’t sit right with me. Though he doesn’t know I already applied and I’m on the list to be accepted, it still felt wrong to lie to him.

I thought maybe I was thinking about her too much today. I could hear her sweet laugh.

But it was actually her, Honey was laughing along with Jaxon outside the second building, his hand was close to her waist as he held the door for her to go inside.

When they disappeared behind the doors, I noticed that I had been clutching the strap of my bag with a strong grip.

• I didn’t think you’d all take it seriously when I said it was a love triangle. I promise it’s not, if it was I’d put it in the tags.

• Struggled writing this chapter, hopefully, you enjoyed it ❤️.

chapt 37 • Something’s Off

Even after snoozing my alarm twice, I was still tired. I yawned over five times in the past hour of sitting in the dining hall.

What wasn’t making it any better were the dirty stares Madelyn shined across the room as if I had possibly done something to ruin her morning.

To the side of me, Charolette was twisting her pencil about, something going on in that mind of hers probably filled with cherry lollipops.

“Is everyone just… off today?” She snaps out of whatever daze she was recently stuck in.

“Off? Off how? I’m not off, you are! Okay, I’m off, I’m way off” She sighs and slouches further into her chair.

“I don’t have to ask because I know any second now you’re going to”—

“Astra has been a lot more passionate lately…when I say passionate I mean, we’ve been having longer um… sessions that have to do with our mouths but recently she’s been hinting to want to do more, and I’ve never done more and I don’t think I can do more… I mean I want to do more but it would be my first time doing more… and now I’m rambling again and oh God” She lets out the biggest breath and lays her head on the table.

“Charolette are you trying to tell me that Astra wants the two of you to have sex but you’re nervous because it’s your first time?” She makes an incoherent sound in the form of yes.

“She tried to um… go further than my chest and I got all nervous and asked her to stop and went to my room and now I think she thinks I don’t want her” She looks up at me with genuine sad eyes.

“I highly, highly doubt she thinks that. Anyone from a mile away can tell that you want her.”

“I-It’s not that obvious…” I look at her blankly, “Fine, it’s obvious but it’s not my fault. Have you seen her? She has really soft lips, they always taste like cherries because they’re her favorite fruit…”

“Charolette, talk to her. I’m sure she’d understand if you just explained to her and talked it out and everything will be fine” She nods her head and stands up abruptly.

“Why didn’t I think about that? You Honey Rose are a true lifesaver” Charolette hugs me and tells me she’d talk to me later or tomorrow depending on how their talk goes.

And I go back to putting my head back on my arms to close my eyes.

“I’ve never met a single person who’s liked grapefruit” I groan in my arms when someone else sits beside me and telling by the voice it’s Jaxon.

I try to ignore him, keeping my head down. “Still worn out from last night? I didn’t think I’d tire you out so easily”

I lift my head from my arms, “Nothing happened last night”

“If you call sharing ice cream behind the school and glaring at me every time I said a stupid pick-up line nothing and then laughing when I tried to lift you and you dumped my ice cream cone on my head nothing then you are insane” He adjusts his seating.

Then everything about Jaxon faded out when my eyes went over to Alessio who entered with his father in the dining hall.

While his father was looking at the fruits, Alessio had raised his head from the floor and immediately found me as if he knew I was already looking at him.

Then his eyes looked to who was next to me and that soft stare disappeared within a blink.

He adjusted the strap of his bag and didn’t look my way again. Instead, he waited for his father to finish before leaving without another look.

“Don’t you have a council evaluation to get to?” I look back at Jaxon but he’s looking at the door, Adeline writing something down before she leaves and he stands up abruptly.

“Matter of fact I do. I’ll be sure to put in a good word for you, and I think you might have someone’s attention” He walks away and I turn and Madelyn is staring us down, she doesn’t even look away when I look at her.

And before I knew it she was already walking towards me with a smile.

“Honey! I’m so glad to see you getting along with the new guy. You guys seem like such good friends” She places her hands on the table.

“We’re not friends” She frowns and lets her hand go to her chin next.

“Really? I mean I saw you two leaving the building yesterday and going into town. Clearly, you both have become close to be leaving school together” She keeps going.

“Madelyn, what is it? You’ve made it very clear you don’t want me around you or your brother, who still can’t take no for an answer and yet you find a way to insert yourself into my daily routine” I’m so fucking tired, I need sleep, a pillow, and quiet, dark room.

“Nothing, I just wanted to know if you’re okay, I mean with your father getting married”—

This catches my attention, “Your father’s business is really popular and I happened to see the announcement he made when I was out with my parents”

“And I’m sure their marriage is going well right? Last five years in couples therapy, but you’re concerned about my family” Madelyn couldn’t hide the anger building in her expression and I don’t have any more time for her and got up to leave.

Before I know it I’m yawning and knocking at Alessio’s door. He opens it as if he wasn’t expecting to see me.

“Does your offer still stand? About resting here if I wanted to because I do” I needed somewhere nobody knew and would bother me.

“Can I nap here?” He moves out of the way slightly, but something in me tells me something is off with the way he looked at me and then quickly back into the room.

I entered his room, and the smell of nice oak and the soft wind blowing from his window hit me together. Making the tiredness feel only worse.

I slip off my shoes and move over to his large bed which is bigger than mine and most likely softer.

“If you need clothes to be comfortable in, I can leave out one of my shirts” His back was facing me, but he did remove a shirt from his closet and left it on the side of the bed for me.

While I’m changing my clothes, Alessio grabs his bag and books. “You’re going somewhere?”

I pull his shirt over my head and the instant intoxicating smell of him surrounds me, I get on the bed sitting on my knees.

He turns around and freezes in his spot for a moment before clearing his throat but he can’t hide the blush that begins to rise.

“I don’t want to disturb you, I’ll be in the library” Alessio glances down at the shirt that rises up my thighs before he turns around and heads out.

At first, I thought it was because I was drained, but everyone was definitely off today.

The second my head hit the pillow, my eyes were shut and I took the nap that was needed.

I stretched out and rubbed my eyes, at the same moment Alessio was quietly shutting his door, a bottle of water in his hand and a bowl of fresh strawberries and small sliced mangoes which triggered my after-nap hunger.

He faced me to see me up, “I didn’t mean to wake you up, I tried to be quiet” I sat up against the pillows.

“I was already up, don’t worry about it” I had forgotten I fell asleep in his shirt, not that I was complaining.

“These are for you” He handed me the fruit and the water, I drank the water first and placed the fruit on the side of the small dresser on the side of the bed and reached to turn on his lamp.

He was putting down his bag and unbuttoning his shirt. And suddenly I was taking a slow bite out of the strawberry watching him.

For five minutes he hadn’t said anything, and I couldn’t figure out why or what was wrong.

He sat at the edge of the bed, I went behind him and traced imaginary words on his toned back muscles.

“Why aren’t you talking to me?” I was close to his ear, hearing how his breath went unsteady and calmed itself quickly.

“Did you miss me yesterday?” I press my lips to his shoulder and kiss my way to his neck.

“I know I said I wouldn’t let him take all my time, but I hadn’t noticed the time until we came back” Alessio’s body tensed, the second I said “him” I could see the slight clench in his jaw.

“All we did was walk around a few stores and then he bought me ice cream, I couldn’t say no to free ice cream. It was cookie dough, but my favorite is cookies and cream” Alessio isn’t responding, he’s just listening now.

“Then after he took me behind the school with all the rocks you can sit on and see the sunset” Again his jaw tensed.

I slowly began to notice each time I mentioned “him” referring to Jaxon he pokes his tongue to left side of his cheek. I caught myself liking the new side I was breaking out of him.

“He tried to put his hand around my waist, then he started showing me all of his tattoos and he has a lot, mostly on the sides of his abs.” I pick up his slightly heavy breaths and it’s not because of my fingers running up and down his back.

I could see the irritation building in his body language.

I knew what I was doing to him and I liked it.

“His tongue piercing is kinda hot… sometimes I wonder what it would feel like against my”—

I was instantly quiet.

In a blink, my back was hitting his soft mattress and his body was hovering over mine.

Fuck me.

One of Alessio’s soft hands was on my cheek and the other was on the side of my neck, he pressed his lips hard onto mine.

The hand on my neck slowly traveled down the side of my body onto my waist to give it a little squeeze, then his lips went down to my neck.

“Please. Stop. Talking. About. Him” With each word he laid a kiss on the sides of my neck.

And with that, I concluded that Alessio Rivers was jealous.

I curved my lips out, “You don’t want to hear how I showed him my tattoos as well?” Alessio stopped for a second, his eyes were on mine but they couldn’t see how much I enjoyed seeing him like this.

I wanted to see how far I could push him.

It was distracting to focus on his eyes when his shirt was unbuttoned.

“You’re killing me Honey” I feel the tips of his fingers go inside of his shirt on my body, up to my waist directly on my tattoo.

“I couldn’t do anything other than think about you yesterday… then I look forward to seeing you today just for you to talk about another guy who also has eyes for you” This time it’s him drawing the words across my skin.

“I still think about that night… more than I should and it drives me crazy. I don’t like that he might be thinking the same thoughts about you as I do…” I feel my breathing being stopped when he begins to suck on my sensitive spot.

He left a trail of kisses from my neck, to my collarbone down to my chest which was now rising and falling to the tone of his voice.

“I don’t know how you get me to be this way… it’s only when I saw him with you, that I started to feel like this” He teased the waistband of my underwear.

“I don’t like hearing his name coming from your lips… your perfect lips” He dropped his eyes to my lips, which my bottom one was rolled between my teeth.

“I only like it when you say my name, only mine” Alessio removed his shirt fully, when I went to take off mine, he stopped my arms from doing so.

“No, keep it on. I want you to wear my shirt” He only pushed it up so it bundled at my hips.

The softness of his hands found my hips and looked into my eyes, “Can I?” Fuck me.

Even in his jealous state, he’d ask for permission. When I give it to him, he parts my thighs and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t completely drenched right now.

Alessio got down so he was lying on his stomach and his face was on the inside of my thighs. His hands found the right grip to bring me closer to him.

My mind told me to look over to where Alessio had dropped his bag and the books he had taken with him, they were all the books I had given him to read. And just by reading the titles, I knew exactly what they were about.

While I was napping, he was reading, and now he was going to show me exactly what he read.

• No you didn’t get robbed ❤️.

chapt 38 • Bad Boys Aren’t My Type

before the chapter starts, I want to thank

RoseEmiliaSnape

for not only the beautiful new banners but the beautiful cover as well ❤️.

here’s another warning even though this book is filled with mature content x .

I’m not new to this but right now I felt like it was my first time with the way my heart was beating in my ears and how wet I was growing just his hands opening my thigh.

The look in his eyes now only held a pinch of softness, the rest was unexplainable.

He started with pressing light kisses on the inside of my thigh, drawing closer to my wet pussy, that’s been waiting and begging for him.

I watched as he did so, and then I felt the small tinge of pain and the relaxing feeling of his tongue running over the hickey he just created.

He was marking the inside of my thighs, I let my eyes roll back slightly when he did it again until he came closer and closer but then swapped to my other thigh, repeating the same slow torture.

His shirt that I still had on, was bunched around my waist, though I still had my underwear on, it was clear that I was wet and his eyes glistened a little when he noticed.

Alessio placed his thumb over my thong, feeling the heat radiating off of me, the sweet sensation spread across my entire body when his thumb pressed to my clit.

He teases the waistband before sliding them off, I lift my hips and he pulls them down my thighs and drops them on the side of the bed.

He wasn’t saying anything, and though it was partially my fault for overdoing some details about Jaxon and I, it was killing me not knowing what he was thinking right now.

“I want to be the one who makes you feel good Honey. I want to make you feel the way you make me do” God the sight of him between my thighs was absolute heaven.

I kept watching him, my hips pushed themselves towards him, he used his middle finger to run teasing circles around my clit.

“Fuck, you can’t tease me”— My sentence was automatically cut off when he entered two fingers inside of me, a desperate moan erupted from me, and my head went back and found his pillow.

I clenched around his fingers all while he stimulated my clit, seeing his lips only made me want to feel his tongue even more.

“I want to be the one who sees you like this, hears you like this” While his two fingers inside of me worked, Alessio’s thumb ran circles in the same rhythm and made my throat go dry.

I wasn’t expecting him to curl his fingers inside of me, making my legs open more, my nipples grew hard in his shirt and my eyes closed shut.

Even though they were closed, I could feel the burning admiration of his eyes looking at me as he curled them again.

Alessio removed his fingers which caused me to look down at him. He began to kiss again at my thighs, inserting his fingers back into me and slowly moving them in and out of me.

His fingers pushed deeper inside of me, hitting the spot that could have my thighs shaking in a matter of seconds.

I opened my eyes to look at him and I still saw that jealous spark in his eyes. “More, fuck”

His jaw held tension, no doubt he was still thinking about the Jaxon situation.

He almost gave me what I wanted when he massaged my g-spot and watched my mouth fall open as I squeezed my nipples.

When he removed his fingers, it felt like a defeat, my clit was still pulsing for more and I was clenching more than ever.

He went back to kissing my thighs, “Alessio, please don’t do this” he smiled against my thighs and continued to litter his marks on the inside, the red marks leading up closer to where I wanted him.

“I’m not doing anything” He rubbed my clit all while kissing my thighs, it was hell, brutal and everything he’s felt when I teased him is everything I was feeling now.

I’ve created a monster.

I saw a glint in his eyes that I’ve only seen in my own. He continued to play with my clit, running his index and middle finger down my wetness and teasing my entrance.

“I need you too, Alessio please” I was going insane, I was bunching the sheets with my fist all while he was enjoying this.

“What do you need me to do Honey? What do you want?” He lifted himself a little bit, pushed his shirt further up, and removed it. Fuck he was making me go insane.

He was now hovering over me, leaning into my ear all while collecting my wetness with his fingers.

“I want your fingers, I want your tongue, I want your mouth… I need you to make me cum” I whined while he kissed my neck.

I have never been edged, I always did the edging and it felt like fucking hell bring edged.

It was incredibly hot seeing him like this but fuck was it killing me.

My hips tried to move around and feel his fingers more but he held my hips down.

“And how badly do you want them? Tell me” He said into my ear. Where the fuck is Alessio because this is not him.

My hair was a fucking mess, and yet he brushed it out of my face to see me clearly.

“I need them badly… really fucking bad, please just… touch me, make me feel good” He kissed my cheek, then became face to face with me, he was jealous as if he couldn’t get over the fact that Jaxon and I probably done something.

“Who’s tongue do want to make you feel good?” He leaned closer to my lips, seeing how impatient and desperate I was becoming, how my pussy clenched and begged for something.

“Yours, I want your tongue and your tongue only” Then he did the same expression I would if this was reversed, the expression that let me know he was going to give me what I want.

He started at my neck, dragging his lips and littering kisses down to my chest. Over both of my nipples and down the line of my stomach, over my belly button, and all the way down until he was where I wanted him.

Alessio locked his eyes on me, hands placed on my thighs drawing me closer.

My head instantly fell backward when I felt his tongue pass my folds. “Holy shit”

My fist bunched the sheets harder, his tongue went down my slit and all the way up until he found my clit, and fucking hell it felt good. He made circles around the bud with his tongue and continued to use his fingers to work inside of me.

“How good does it feel?” I reached out and placed my hand on his shoulder, he turned his head and kissed my wrist. “Tell me how good it feels”

“Fuck… that feels so good” I can’t help but pinch at my nipples, the feeling spreading inside of me caused me to want to shut my legs but pulled his tongue away and I let out a whiny sound.

The tension building in my lower abdomen grew stronger, Alessio watched me as if he knew by the way I kept repeating his name which was the only word I could manage to think of right now.

“Alessio, I’m close… I’m so fucking close” My body began to feel overwhelmed with the need to reach my climax.

He went back to using his tongue, which had my entire body and mind spiraling. My moans sounded needy, my hips raised off the bed, and my chest heaved at an insane pace.

Bringing me closer and closer, Alessio slipped his hand into mine. Eyes still watching my every expression, “I like how good my name sounds coming from you”

He swirled his tongue around my clit, then continued to fuck me with his tongue.

“Alessio… I’m going to”— I couldn’t finish my sentence before my thighs began to shake, my eyes closed and my hand squeezed his as my orgasm and his tongue brought me unexplainable pleasure all over.

It all washed over me, it wasn’t my first time and yet it was the best one I’ve had. His tongue would be the death of me and I wouldn’t complain.

I was panting heavily. My eyes were still closed for the next minute.

“H-How’d you know… fuck I can’t even speak” I gulped harshly, mind still racing and body still recovering.

“I watched the videos, the ones you recommended when we started this..” I opened my eyes and almost came again when I saw how he licked his lips.

“I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while now, did you like it?” After I let my mind calm down, I get on my knees and move over to him while he stands off the bed with a very noticeable erection in his pants.

I take his hand in mine and place his index and middle finger into my mouth and taste my climax and move my tongue around his fingers all while watching him.

The red blush returned to his face, “Does that answer your question?” he nods his head and I get off the bed and go over to his books.

“About the guy, there’s no need for you to feel jealous” I go back to him, leaning up to his ear.

“Bad boys aren’t my type.”

God, she looked so beautiful in my shirt.

Honey was sitting on the desk beside me, working out a few problems for her upcoming test as I was supposed to be doing.

But how could I focus?

She was sitting in only my shirt and her underwear, my shirt that only reached up to her thigh. Her face was concentrated, her eyes brows would slightly push together and she would let out a small huff when she couldn’t figure out something.

It was hard not to be captivated by her presence, anyone would instantly be memorized by everything about her, anyone meaning me.

I could not get the sounds of her saying my name earlier out of my head and I wasn’t complaining, her voice made me want to give her anything she asked of me.

I never felt jealousy until now, thinking about someone else wanting to see Honey the way I do hadn’t been an easy feeling for me to pass.

Honey’s phone beeped and her concentration began to falter and the expression of something troubling her appeared on her face.

“Everything okay?” She was only staring at her phone as if she could burn it in her hand.

“It’s nothing, I’m not going to bother you with it” She tossed her phone onto my bed and continued to read her notes.

I rolled the chair to where I was in between her legs hanging off the table.

“You’re not bothering me Honey. I want to know what’s wrong” I comfort her by putting my hands on the sides of her thighs, rubbing them slightly like a massage like I’ve learned she likes.

She looks at me for a second, those beautiful eyes telling me she’s thinking about more than what’s actually bothering her.

“My father’s wedding is tomorrow, my Grandma, who knows I haven’t forgotten, just left me a message telling me the driver will be here in the morning.”

“Do you not want to go?” I ask, curious on why she’s been distant when it comes to her father’s wedding.

“No, I don’t want to go and see my father marry someone else. I don’t like my father, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard seeing him with someone else who isn’t my mother” Her voice slightly dies down when she mentions her mother.

“Will it make it better if I’m there with you? My parents will be there as well but I’ll be there if you need someone when it’s hard for you” I massage her thighs more, she plays with the end of my shirt on her body.

“It’s going to be more than hard for me tomorrow, I might not make it through the entire wedding without needing to get up and leave” She sighs, her eyes looking away from me.

“Then I’ll go with you, I’ll be there when you need me” Something in her body language changed and her eyes continued to avoid mine.

I stand up from my chair, turning her chin towards me.

“I’ll be there for you Honey, only if you let me.”

• I haven’t asked how you guys like the book for a couple of chapters now.

• How do you like the book?

• Just a reminder that I appreciate all of you so much, even to all my lovely silent readers ❤️!

chapt 39 • Wedding Bells & Regrets

I was dreading today.

I wish I could just turn back time right now and go back to yesterday when Alessio’s head was between my legs and all I thought about was how hot he looked and how good he made me feel.

“They’re all so pretty” Charolette compliments each dress as I bring them out to show her both and Astra.

“It might be kinda obvious that I would choose the red one,” Astra said as they both sat on the end of my bed but Charolette sitting in Astra’s lap blushing every time she spoke behind her.

“Well I can’t pick one, Honey looks good in everything. It’s hard to choose” She huffs and Astra laughs behind her, making Charolette look at her with a frown.

“I knew you’d said that, you aren’t wrong though” Astra leaves a kiss on Charolette’s cheek which turns as red as the dress in front of them.

In the end, we went with the wine dress.

“Something tells me you don’t want to go” Astra mentions, seeing how I’m wasting time drying off my hair.

“Neither side of my family will enjoy me being there,” I tell them, brushing through my hair and sitting in the chair so Charolette can curl it.

“My aunt is the same way, she thinks there’s a demon inside of me that’s made me this way. I’m here so it doesn’t come for her holy soul” She laughs, but Charolette looks at her with sad eyes.

“What does she know? You’re amazing!”  Charolette blurts out after she’s done with my hair, quickly crossing her arms.

“I don’t care what she thinks of me or what anyone does, except you, I care what you think way too much,” Astra says in her ear, and Charolette hiccups.

“We’ll leave you to finish up” Astra took Charolette’s hand and left my room as they both waved goodbye but Charolette tried saying it with her words but hiccuped again.

When they shut the door and left, my room fell silent and empty. I wasted time slipping on the dress, and putting on jewelry.

Standing in the mirror for two minutes, ignoring Grandma’s reminder about the driver being on their way.

I finally gave up trying to pass the time by myself and decided to visit Alessio’s room before he left with his father.

I left and locked my room with my key. One girl coming out of her room complimented my dress but that girl also happened to be Madeline’s roommate.

Madeline stood outside beside her, “I guess you look nice, have fun at the wedding” Before I got to say anything someone came walking down the hall.

“Honey, can I talk to you in my office? Please” Adam distracts me from Madelyn’s remark.

I ignore her and walk with Adam to his office instead. “I wanted to talk to you before you leave”

“I’m guessing you also know what today is, didn’t think you’d remember” I sat on the arm of the couch behind me.

“I remember everything you’ve told me so far, but I wanted to tell you if at any time you decide you don’t want to be there and end up coming back, I’ll be here all night to finish a couple of things but you can come to me” I fell silent, standing up once more and turning the door knob.

“Thank you” I leave his office and go straight to Alessio’s room.

Alessio opened the door for me, he hadn’t said a word, he gazed his eyes up and down my entire body and tried to say something but it all came out in a stutter.

I was also admiring what was in front of me, Alessio in a suit was definitely something I liked seeing.

The black vest matched his pants, the white long sleeve button-up underneath, and the black-tie to match his vest. His hair was styled nicely, a watch on his right wrist and the silver chain underneath the button-up.

I reach up and fix his tie, “You look really good right now it makes me not want to go” I pull at his tie and brush my lips with his.

Then his phone rings, his father telling him to meet him outside at the same time my driver gets here.

“We shouldn’t keep them waiting” I go to turn the knob but Alessio spins me around and holds the side of my face and kisses me deeply.

“You’re beautiful to me Honey, absolutely beautiful.”

Guests filled inside of the house, being let outside to the wedding venue.

My father talks to some men dressed in suits with their wives, who I remember being a part of his company.

When he sees me and my dress, he turns their attention somewhere else. Not even saying hi or introducing me at all.

I seriously don’t want to be here.

My mother’s side of the family is just like my father’s, they both despise my nymphomania and they both see my mother as a disappointment to both family names.

“Somebody please kill me now,” I say to myself and pour a drink.

“You could’ve covered up a bit more” I hear Grandma beside me but I don’t look at her.

“I like the decorations, you can actually do something nice for people when they’re not me” I sip the drink in my hand.

“Celeste would like to see you, she’s in the upstairs room” She walks off, her smile widens when she greets my aunts and uncles.

Walking past both families who all look at me, some whisper, and others give me smiles and say they miss me which is a lie because not one of them called me as a child not even to wish me a happy birthday. As if they even remember.

I walk up the steps and enter the room Celeste is in, she motions me to come in as she stands in the mirror fixing her wedding veil.

“I knew you’d look stunning” Celeste embraces me into a large hug.

“Thank you for coming… I know you might’ve not wanted to but I do appreciate it.”

I take ahold of the necklace around my neck, a necklace that belonged to my mother. The only reason why I was standing here was because of her.

Because she would want me to get along with someone like Celeste.

“I should get downstairs, I don’t want to be the reason why you’re late to your wedding” We share a short laugh and she nods.

I inhale deeply when I close her door, making my way back outside and taking the stand with the other bridesmaids.

Celeste’s family is here as well, they all tell me that I am very lovely, and they’re all so different from my family.

Celeste’s mother is in the front row, with tears in her eyes as Celeste comes down the aisle.

Father stands at the altar, smiling as she does. The dress is beautiful on her, Celeste is beautiful there’s no doubt but it’s hard for me to see this.

I look into the crowd, Alessio sitting with his parents. He isn’t even looking at Celeste, he’s looking at me as if he’s waiting for me to need him.

I took my seat beside Alessio when they began to say their vows.

It killed me to hear my father telling another woman that he loves her, that he wants to have a life and children with her as if he didn’t already have a child.

There was a pit of emotions building in my chest right now watching this.

As soon as they both said “I Do” it was hard for me to look at them smiling at each other before they kissed.

I hated this and I wish I never came, my mother came to my mind, and it became harder for me to sit here. I can’t do this.

Then I felt a comforting hand on my thigh before I stood up, I looked down and Alessio gave my thigh a reassuring squeeze.

The chairs were close to each other, even with Grandma sitting behind me, it would be impossible for her or anyone to see.

I hesitated, and put my hand on top of his and he clasped my hand in his and reassured me it was okay.

I took several deep breaths, telling myself it was soon to be over and I could make it through this.

I believed myself, that was until I saw when Celeste raised her hand towards the crowd. Showed her ring with pure happiness written on her face but it wasn’t how happy she was that ruined my calm state.

It was her ring.

I knew the diamond from anywhere, I knew the gold ring it sat on with the little flower indented on the side because the ring belonged to my mother.

That’s when I shot out of my seat, removing my hand from Alessio who turned to look at me.

Grandma who sat behind me quickly grabbed my wrist. “Honey, sit down” I ignored her and went inside the house.

I didn’t know what I felt right now, whether it was anger, sadness, or even just a mix of both.

Half of me wondered how he could give my mother’s ring away as if she meant nothing? The other half couldn’t believe someone else was wearing her ring.

Grandma came in right after me, “Could you not have waited until it was over to throw this temper tantrum?”

“How can you not see anything wrong with this? She’s wearing her ring and you’re both okay with this?” I couldn’t believe it, I knew none of them cared about her but it was still wrong.

“He can give that ring to whoever he likes, your mother never respected or appreciated him in the first place” She shuts the sliding door and closes the curtains so no one sees us.

“God I knew delusion was a factor of old age but fucking hell you’ve already gone blind! You never saw how shitty he treated her, no of course not because you treated her the same fucking way!” I raise my voice.

“Watch your language”—

“What did she ever do, what did I ever do to deserve this?” Then I began to feel a lump build in my throat.

“You both are reckless, you never think about your words or actions and you throw fits when someone tries to discipline you. Neither one of you appreciates how lucky you both are and were to have a man in your life like your father” Her voice starts to rise.

“Lucky? Lucky to have a father who barely sees me as his daughter? Who’s always been embarrassed to even mention me to anyone? Yeah, I’m so fucking lucky to have such an amazing father who not only barely acknowledges that I’m around but I’m also so damn lucky to have a father who has never told me not even once that he loves me” The lump in my throat turns into a boulder.

Goosebumps rise on my arms as I suddenly begin to grow cold.

“You’re never happy for anyone but yourself Honey! You’re not even happy that your father has finally fallen in love, this is exactly why you will never feel love or be loved, Honey!” It’s as if she hadn’t just heard what I just said.

“You’re impossible to love! No one could love such a person who can’t feel anything other than sexual feelings. You are just like your mother” Grandma’s voice raises harder.

I turn my head away from her, disappointed that I let a tear slide down my cheek.

I don’t like to cry, especially not over something she said. Usually, I can push her words away, like they don’t mean anything but they stick like a scar that won’t heal all the way.

“You should leave, I don’t need you ruining such a happy day” She waves me off, not ashamed of her words, and goes back outside and hugs everyone as if nothing happened.

I’m left standing in the kitchen, with weights tugging at my heart. Thinking about what she just said about me never being able to be loved.

Right now I could tell my mind wasn’t in the right place, my head began to hurt and I knew it meant that I was going to do something I was later going to regret.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

After the wedding, I was informed by Honey’s Grandmother that she had left.

She threw in words calling her selfish and disrespectful for not being a part of the happiest days of her father’s life.

I didn’t like the way she spoke about Honey, everything she said about her was wrong. She couldn’t even see for a second that it was hard for her granddaughter to see her father remarrying someone else.

She hasn’t tried to understand her view of this whole thing, not at all.

I texted and called Honey but no response.

It didn’t sit right with me that the only person who asked about where Honey was, was Celeste.

My parents allowed me to go back to the academy instead of going home for the day.

I wanted to make sure she was okay but she wasn’t in her room, nor the library or my room.

After five more calls, my calls stopped going through, as if she saw my calls but turned off her phone. I kept my phone on just in case she called me at any time.

I was worried. Though she was already ready to leave when she sat down beside me, she left after her Grandmother came out of the house and tried to bring us all over to the cake.

I wondered what she had said to her to make her leave.

Whatever it was, it was enough for Honey to not even come back to the academy, now I was extremely worried about where she was.

I stood underneath the shower, hoping that she’d come back sooner or later and confirm that I was worried about nothing.

Maybe she needed air or to take a walk alone.

I wrapped the towel around my waist, hearing short and faint knocks at my door.

I heard Honey’s voice but it was low, when I opened the door she was smiling but her eyes were slightly red and she could barely stand.

She was using the door as support so when I opened it she fell in my arms, “My h-head hurts, a lot” her words were slurring.

She was drunk.

But Honey doesn’t like drinking.

It made me frown, upset at the fact that her Grandmother was the reason for this and everything that’s happened today.

I close my door and carefully lift her in my arms, swooping her bridal style while her hands fall around my neck and her head rests on my shoulders.

“Y-You smell realllyyy goood” She buried her face deeper into my neck, her lips brushing against my skin softly along with her breathing.

She’s still in her dress, I sit her on my bed and get her a water bottle from the little mini-fridge on the side of my bed.

When I turn back to Honey, she’s just looking at me, her red eyes still don’t take away how entrancing her heterochromia is.

I unscrew the cap and bring the bottle to her lips and she looks at me with her big eyes. She drinks the water and when she’s done I close the cap and put it beside her.

Something in me makes me raise my hand to her cheek, I soothe her cheek with my thumb and I run my thumb over what feels like dried tears.

Was she crying?

“I-I took them, I told m-myself I wouldn’t but I did” I looked at her confused, her words only got sloppier as she spoke.

“Took what?” Then she let her head fall back and climbed into my bed.

“I’mmm sleepy, let’s go to sleep… I’m so tiredd” She started to yawn and I noticed she was in her dress and I was still in my towel.

I lifted her into my arms again, “I think youu are reallyyy hot and cuteee and that you’re kinda nerdy but it’s reallly hot to me” she began to laugh as I took her into my bathroom and went to get clothes for us.

As I handed her my shirt to change into, she stumbled a little bit. “C-Can you unzip me, please?” She pouted out her bottom lip, her really kissable lips.

She turns around and I gather her hair into a ponytail, unzipping the dress that she looks beautiful in.

Something I will never stop telling her.

The dress then dropped to her feet, and she faced me. Her naked breast came into view and I turned around quickly. It wasn’t right for me to look at her in this state.

I heard her drunkenly laugh behind me, “You can look” I did as she said and saw her in my shirt.

I like her wearing my clothes, I would give her all of my shirts to wear if she asked.

Honey made my mind go blank, sometimes I couldn’t see anything or anyone in a room if she was there.

“You should get some sleep” She nods, breaking the intense stare we had, and stumbled into the room and climbed into my bed, pulling the blanket onto her body.

I finished changing and joined her, when she felt the bed dip, she turned so she was facing my chest.

“You’re warm, I like it” She whispered, her hands placed on my chest, her hair sprawled on my pillow, and her eyes closed.

I could look at her all night.

I closed my eyes, hoping to see her eyes in the morning but instead I was left with the distant wind blowing on her side of the bed.

• I always hint in my books about how much I love cookies and cream ice cream. Whether it’s through Ryan (from My Therapist) or Honey.

• No matter what anyone says, we all deserved to be loved and given the love we deserve. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise ❤️.

chapt 40 • Pushing Away

“I take it the wedding went well? I didn’t see you come by my office yesterday, anything you want to discuss?” Adam sets his coffee mug down on the table between us.

The raging headache I was having didn’t seize even with the stain of words Grandma left on me yesterday, the same words I tried to drink away.

You’re impossible to love Honey.

“It was fine, nothing to talk about honestly” Each word she said to me had been replaying in my head like a terrible echo I couldn’t get rid of.

“If you’re sure, then I’m glad there was no trouble,” Adam says, I glance at him but something about how he’s looking at me tells me he knows there’s something more.

There was trouble, a lot of it. Seeing Celeste wear my mother’s ring was like a terrible nightmare that not even sleep could get rid of.

After the driver took me back to the academy, I tried to get everything about yesterday out of my mind but everything failed.

That’s when I impulsively took two of the pills that I never saw myself doing again, then I snuck out and went to the party across the academy where everything grew worse.

All the temptation to drink my problems away and forget them the next day took over me and I ended up feeling like shit this morning.

I don’t remember anything after the pills, only the minutes when I woke up.

When I had woken up, the cold morning hadn’t been a problem because I was in a warm embrace, my head was on his chest, his hand was on my waist, and his arm rested around my waist, keeping me close by his side while my hand was lying on his chest.

The first thing I saw was how his hair was a mess, how softly he breathes when he was asleep and how even in his sleep, his cheeks were a rosy pink.

Then it all hit me at once, from the pounding headache to all of the feelings of a hangover. All until I realized that I had drunkenly gone to Alessio’s room last night.

That’s when I left, trying not to wake him up, hoping at the same time I hadn’t said anything that I would have to later explain.

“Honey, if there’s something, you know you can tell me”—

“You told me that I was afraid. Afraid for someone to care for me” He stops his sentence to listen, waiting for me to go on. “Has it ever occurred that I don’t want someone to care for me?”

“I don’t think that’s true, there’s a lot you’ve endured in your life Honey, a lot that isn’t fair, a lot that you’ve learned to deal with on your own and you know haven’t been in the best ways. I know you want a break from it, from all of it but you’re afraid letting in even just one person, that it will all turn out the same and the last thing you want to be to a person is vulnerable” He clicks his pen, looking at me as I do the same to him, there’s a two-minute silence.

I stand up from the couch, “I don’t believe you, vulnerability gets you nowhere but used, you don’t have to worry about making time for me anymore. I’ll put in a request to end these meetings” I’m at the door but Adam calls my name.

“Whatever she said to you, isn’t true Honey. You are way more and deserve way more than everything she’s ever told you in life” I hear him stand up as well, but I’m still holding on to the doorknob and looking at the wooden door.

“As for the request, I’ll only sign it because you want me to. But if you need anything, my door is always open if you need me.”

“I’m so sorry I’m late, I didn’t expect you to call and want to meet” Celeste sits down across from me with her usual happy smile.

“It’s okay, I needed time to think anyways” I’ve been playing with my hands since I sat down.

“I didn’t want to go to the wedding, it was the last thing I wanted to do. But I went anyway, not only because of what you said but because I know my mother would want me to” I let out.

“It wasn’t easy for me to hear him say all those things about how much he loves you and that you’re the first person to give him the love that he truly wants. To pretend as if he hadn’t ruined my mother’s life. I tried to tell myself that I wouldn’t care if he was marrying someone else, and for moments sitting in that chair, I believed myself” She follows my eyes to her ring.

“Then I saw how much he truly cared for her when he put her ring on your finger, and kissed over it and promised to show you love and care and to give you trust” She gasps, looking at her ring as if he burned her skin and quickly removes it from her finger.

“Honey, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know, if I had I would’ve never accepted it and given it to you, Oh my God this is incredibly wrong” She hands me the ring and stands up, hugging me. “I truly meant no disrespect to you, and I’m happy that you told me. I think there’s a lot of questions that I should’ve been asking before I blindly said yes”

“I hope this won’t affect you and me, I really want to make this work.”

“I’m not mad at you Celeste, like you said you didn’t know. But I can’t do this not with knowing you are married to someone like my father” Her face falls and she nods telling me that I can always call her if I need her before she leaves.

When I returned to the academy, I went back into my room, stood in front my mirror and tilted my head back and swallowed another pill and began to feel disappointment shed it’s light over me.

“I didn’t expect you to come” Alessio says as he removes his bag and placed it on the chair I moved out of the way.

I silently hoped he wouldn’t bring up yesterday’s events because I don’t want to think about it any more than I already have.

“I wanted to come up with a concept myself this time, the clay one was good but I think I’ve got one that you can submit for your final pitch” He looks intrigued, then he finally notices that I was covering myself with one of my black silk robes.

“You’re too far for my liking, come here” He follows my words and steps onto the white cover placed in the middle of the floor and gets closer to me.

He places his hand on my hip, the other hand on the side of my face and he brings our lips together for a kiss that makes my face and body grow hot.

Usually, it would be my tongue taking control and his letting it but this time, Alessio passed his tongue through my lips and found mine.

It caught me off guard to the point I almost lost my balance but he steadied me by sliding his hand down my waist to my ass and pulling me closer to his firm body.

Someone isn’t so shy anymore.

“I still remember when you couldn’t even look at me without stuttering like crazy,” I tell him and he drops his head into my neck.

“It’s embarrassing to think about, please don’t remind me” His deep yet soft voice vibrates in my neck, and the vibration shoots throughout my entire body.

“I found it hot,” I say as he lifts his head with a “really” written in his eyes. “I also found it cute”

There’s a pause between us, where Alessio is just standing there, looking down at me, switching both of his eyes between mine. With an unfamiliar look in his eyes that makes me look away at first.

“Back to my concept idea, it’s a little messy but that’s what the cover on the floor is for. I was also hoping you’d help clean me up afterward” His eyebrows push themselves together and I go over to the desk, I moved by the window and pick up the honey dipper inside.

Alessio puts both pieces together and his face blossoms a light pink. “I know, I’m a genius. You don’t have to tell me”

“So what’d you think?” I stir the honey inside, lifting the honey dipper for the honey to drip down onto my tongue.

“I um, I think it’s a really good concept… an amazing one at that” He watches the honey that misses my tongue and falls onto my bottom lip while I swipe it away with my thumb and suck off the remainder on the pad of my thumb.

“Let’s start then, I’m already so excited.”

At this exact moment, I couldn’t breathe.

My lungs have stopped moving, my heart has stopped beating, my eyes can’t move themselves off of her right now.

I’m completely frozen because of the beauty undressing in front of me.

I gulp harshly, my shaky hands almost making my expensive camera slip from my hands and shatter on the ground.

Honey pulls unties her robe, as soon as the knot is gone, it slips off her body smoothly. I watch as it hits the ground, then my eyes help themselves up to her perfect and toned legs, up to the nude thong that matches her skin tone.

To her stomach, over her tattoo on her hip, back up to her naked breast that has my breathing all messed up, to her brown nipples that harden when I look at them wishing they were in my mouth and I was giving her the pleasure that I could give to her for hours.

Up to her lips, which make my entire body and mind go crazy when I feel and taste them on my own or anywhere on my body. Then finally to her eyes, that captured me to where I never want to look away.

“Ready?” She bites her lip as if she doesn’t know what she’s doing to me right now.

I set up my camera and Honey gets onto her knees, collecting her hair into a ponytail before it flawlessly falls down her back with zero effort.

How is someone so perfect?

She takes the honey dipper and mixes it with the sweet substance before she raises it and I set up my camera, peering through the lenses as it captures her perfectly.

She leans her head back slightly, letting the dipper drip Honey down her body with one hand while the other one hides her nipple. Her eyes are closed and her head is back.

I concentrate on capturing the moment but I can’t help myself seeing as the honey slides and drips down her chest, as she continues to allow it to cover her breast, down her stomach and some even falling on her thighs.

I zoom in closer as she brings the dipper to her lips, pressing it to her mouth. The clicks of the camera are the only thing being heard, that and the sound of my heart beating out of my chest uncontrollably.

“I’ll let you have this one for yourself” She lifts the dipper in the air and lets the honey fall into her mouth.

If I submitted these photos, it felt like a guaranteed acceptance. The art school was one made for creativity of the mind and body, the reason why my father was so against it was that these types of photos and arts were mostly showcased, whether it was drawn, painted, photographed or sculpted out.

Without my father’s knowledge, I took a tour of the school. Finding it being somewhere that I enjoyed being at for the day, and wanted to continue my studies at and live out my dream.

To have an art show dedicated to my art.

She drizzled more of the honey onto her body, hugging her breast in her hands and though I was cutting out Honey’s face in the photos, I could feel her eyes on me, enough to make me make my focus shift to her.

“That should be enough,” I say, setting my camera down and she gets up, setting the honey back onto the table before she comes over to me and stares up at me.

“Can I see them?” I can’t ignore the fact that my mind wants me to use my tongue to clean the honey that’s covering her chest, even some on the side of her neck.

“It’s the final submission, so we’ll need a title for it” I keep pressing through the photos, and she likes them all as I do.

I catch her looking up at me, her eyes drop down to my lips.

“Sweet Innocence.”

• If you didn’t get the reference for the last scene, it’s to resemble the cover.

• Thank you so much for 4m reads ❤️, this is the longest book I’ve written and I didn’t expect this many people to continue reading.

chapt 41 • More Than That

• here’s a gift as another thank you for how far this book has come.

• and a warning x

When we’re finished, we somehow end up in the middle of the white cover on the floor. She’s on my lap, removing my shirt and throwing it behind her.

Her lips are on mine and they taste sweet like they always do but sweeter this time due to the honey that’s left on them. My tongue swipes over her bottom lip, sucking on it a bit as I glide my fingers down her back.

I move down to her neck, liking how her skin looks when it’s covered in my marks. Then I move down to her chest, the sweet remnants of the honey coat my lips and I use my tongue to swipe over her skin.

I lean her back slightly, moving down further to her soft breast, using my tongue to lick around her nipple still slightly covered in honey. Pressing kisses around the small bud and between her breast before I give the same attention to the other side.

I look up at her through my eyelashes, seeing how her head is tilted backward, she’s biting on her lip while her nails bite into my shoulders.

The sight of her was utterly breathtaking, I’d trade any sunset to see her like this all the time.

I kiss down the line of her stomach, occasionally using my tongue over the honey droplets while her chest rises and falls at a pace that makes me smile to know what I’m causing.

I lay her back gently, Honey sits up on her elbows watching me as I lay between her soft thighs. Kissing and licking off the honey drizzling down her skin, she watches me with her lips parting themselves as I keep both of her thighs close to the side of my head.

“How are you so good at teasing? It’s not fair” Her hand’s bunch at the white cover underneath us.

“I learned from the best” I whisper against the inside of her thigh.

“I’m a really good teacher then, I should teach an entire class. Don’t you agree?” She knows what she’s doing, that mischievous glint washes over her eyes.

“If I’m the only student, then I’d gladly attend such classes” My response makes her smile, a smile I enjoy seeing a lot.

I continue to kiss her thigh, inching closer and closer to where I know she wants my mouth the most. She keeps her eyes on me, her impatient lip bite or whine doesn’t go unnoticed.

She grasps her breast, playing with her nipple which never failed to make me hard, I kiss closer to where she wants me.

Closer and closer until Honey reaches down and runs a finger between her wet folds, my lips part themselves seeing how wet she is.

For me.

She then starts toying with her clit, running circles around the bud, arching her lower back, and letting my name being the only word slipping from her pretty lips.

“I touch myself just from the thought of you, and it’s never better than feeling your tongue or having your fingers inside of me” Her words are mixed in with moans.

I can’t take my eyes away from the sight of her touching herself, she enters a finger inside of herself, making me gulp.

My face feels incredibly hot and my pants are straining so much that the zipper slides down itself.

Something in me switches and I’m taking her hand, pressing it above her head and relocating her hand with my mouth instead.

Tasting her wetness automatically made me close my eyes and use my tongue to please her needy clit. Her moans grew louder, and my tongue slightly sped up, feeling addicted to the way she tasted.

I pulled her closer to me, using her thighs to cushion the side of my face while my tongue dipped inside of her and I moaned softly against her, getting hooked on how good she tasted.

My mind was hazy, I couldn’t think of anything else other than wanting her to finish on my tongue, to clean it up and kiss her skin, then her lips.

I wouldn’t even care if this was all we did if I didn’t get my own release. It was a pleasure for me to give her pleasure.

If someone told me four months ago that I’d be thinking these types of things, I wouldn’t believe them not at all. I’d be too busy believing that I wanted to keep my father happy by following and listening to everything he wants, ending off every conversation we have with “Yes Father”.

Since I was an only child, my father has high expectations for me. Which made me feel guilty for lying to him about what I truly wanted to do, which was to pursue my dream at the art school and soon have my own museum.

When Honey’s hand reached out for something, I let her take my hand and squeeze it, her pants and sounds were poetry to my ears, she was everything I’ve ever written or even read about.

“Alessio… you’re too good at that,” She says as I begin to suck her needy clit, then licking until her thighs tense and relax beside me.

I’ve read the books she’s given me an unhealthy amount of times. It should be considered a sin how much I wanted to do everything in those books to her, reading about it and imagining how Honey would look in the different scenes I’ve read about.

“Wait… wait” She pants heavily, stopping me and sitting up. She reaches for my belt, unbuckling, and moves to my zipper but sees it was already zipped down from my hard-on.

“I can’t be the only one who feels good” She takes me out of my pants, I keep my palms flat on the side of me, and her eyes gaze over how my pre-cum leaks out of my tip for her.

I don’t think I can get over that look in her eyes when she sees me, it makes me twitch in her hand.

She slowly strokes me, from top to bottom before she leans down and places a kiss on the side of my tip, then down my base all while looking at me. It makes it hard to keep my hips down as they thrust themselves up into her hand but she removes her hand.

“Let me have my fun as you’ve had yours” She leans forward and kisses my neck, “You’re not the only one who likes to give hickies” she continues over my collarbone.

I can’t help but let her use my body the way she wants, especially when she kisses down my abs until she gets down and lays a kiss on my tip.

Her soft hand wraps gently around me, stroking me with an occasional twist of her hand.

“Honey…” She continues to tease me while kissing the side of my neck.

“Hm?” She says as if she’s clueless about what she’s doing right now.

“I need you… I want you to ride me. Please” She kisses my lips, pulling away with a smile.

“At least let me feel you in my mouth, then I’ll ride you and make you feel good, okay?” Her thumb runs over my tip, using my pre-cum as a lubricant.

“You make me feel good no matter what you do,” I say against her lips, it makes her bring her lips to my tip before wrapping them around me, the sight alone was enough to make me throw my head back and bite my tongue before I say something I never have.

I feel her tongue around my shaft, her mouth taking me deeper and she moans around me. I gather her hair in a ponytail, my body having a mind of its own as I lift my hips to make her take me even deeper in her throat.

“Your mouth feels so good…” I pant out, I guide her up to allow her to breathe before guiding her back down to make me go deeper, when my tip hits the back of her throat, I hold her there because I know she likes it and it feels too damn good right now.

When I pull her up, there’s saliva running down her chin, a smile on her face and her eyes are slightly red with tears brimming at her enchanting eyes.

She still was absolutely beautiful to me.

“I like it when you take me like that” My voice comes out strangled, my body wanting to feel her wrapped around me and see her on top of me.

She places both of her thighs on either side of me, taking my tip and guiding it through her folds, her wetness dripping down onto me, mixing with my pre-cum and that’s when I notice we don’t have any condoms.

Her hand finds my jaw and lifts it to look at her and not the view of my dick ready and begging to be inside of her as it twitches once again as she uses my tip to rub her clit.

“I’m on the pill, but I can go get a condom if you’re not comfortable with this,” She tells me, her thumb lightly stroking my jaw.

“I’m okay with this, I want to actually feel you around me” She stares at me just in case she senses a second of doubt.

When she finds none, she braces me at her entrance, slowly sinking down onto my tip, a groan leaves my lips and her lips fall open.

She continues to sink down, my eyes watch how it looks to see every inch of me disappear inside of her as her hands use my shoulder for stability.

“Holy shit” She stops for a second when I fully enter inside of her, catching her breathing, Honey begins to grind her hips into mine, moving to the rhythm that drives me crazy.

She was right around me, feeling her walls pulse around me. It was enough to make me whimper close to her ear.

Honey’s hands were braced on my shoulders, her nails pinching at my skin but it felt good. Her hips had a talent when it came to riding me, she clamped down onto me every time she’d lift her hips and drop them back onto me.

My hands traveled down her back to the cold metal that pierced her back dimples. God, I liked these a lot. Everything about Honey made my mind go blank.

“You feel so good..” I tell her, now placing my hands at her hips, helping her roll them down a bit faster as she releases her moans into the room, sounds that I could never get tired of hearing.

Her lips connect to mine, and she bites down on my bottom lip before letting her tongue clash with mine. Her moans travel into my mouth and mine do the same, her hips follow the guide of my hands.

She clenches down onto me when my mouth finds her nipple, I lick around the bud before gently biting it, it causes her to cuss out loud and tug at her hair while the other hand begins to scratch down my back.

“The way you… fuck that’s good” She encourages me to keep going, and she begins to buck her hips until I take hold of her hips and thrust myself into her.

“Oh my…” Her arms wrap around my neck, bringing me closer to her chest and I look down to see my dick disappearing inside of her, she feels so good it’s going to kill me.

She’s turned me into a whimpering mess, “Fuck please don’t stop” I wasn’t going to, I continue to bring her body down onto mine,

The sounds of our skin slapping together and the mix of her sultry moans and my own make a fire burn inside of me, it makes me not want to stop until she’s shaking above me and telling me she’s close.

“How do you get me like this? I don’t want anything more than to see how pretty you look when you cum” I didn’t expect those words to come out of my mouth but I couldn’t help it, not when she kept saying my name over and over.

“Then make me cum, let me show you how good I look when I do” She takes my face into her hands, moving her hand between us to play with her clit.

“Make me cum so you do as well, I like how you sound when you do” She rubbed her clit faster, her moans grew more out of place and I watched her touch herself while she kept taking me so well.

“Honey… that feels…” I couldn’t even think straight, she was clenching and unclenching around me, she felt so good it made words hard to form. She sounded way too good and God her hips, her hips made it hard for me to think.

“I’m so close Alessio please, please make me cum” I knew what she was asking, I placed my hands back on her hips and brought her down onto me repeatedly, making sure to keep watching her face as I felt her thighs begin to quiver against the side of mine.

“That’s it, please” Hearing her say please kept me going, I wasn’t even focusing on the fact that I was close as well, I was only focused on making her feel good right now, something I enjoyed doing so much it should be considered a crime.

I feel Honey pulse around me, her eyes snap shut and her hips jerk against me as she clamps down tightly around me, her last moan tells me that she just came and that causes me to release inside of her, my fingernails digging into her skin and my head on her chest and my hips jerk up to their own accord.

I find myself just watching her unravel again when she feels me release deep inside of her.

Realization washes over me as I watch her curse on top of me. Her chest littered with my lips all the way to her neck, her soft skin glistening from the light and the sweet honey coating her beautiful breast and stomach. Her head back and her perfect lips saying my name one last time before her final undoing.

I have feelings for Honey.

This is only supposed to be sex, but it’s become more than that, at least to me.

• Thoughts on the first smut scene in Alessio’s POV?

chapt 42 • Delusional

“Why are you looking at me like that?” My back is against the bookshelf while Alessio picks out books, so far he’s chosen five.

I was still hooked on yesterday, seeing Alessio like that still made my body heat up. I liked the new sides I was discovering from him.

“Like what?” He continues to place books in his satchel. They must be incredibly heavy but not for him.

“Like you have something to ask me” I hand him a book I found interesting and he puts it in his bag as well.

“I never got to ask you why you left the wedding so quickly, I didn’t see you afterward until later in the night when you came to my door”All of me was hoping he wouldn’t bring this up, that day is a memory I want to burn.

“I didn’t want to stay longer than I had to, I said I’d stay for the wedding, after the vows and I do’s, never did I say I’d stay for the after-party” I hand him a few more books and we move over to the tables.

“You’re really clingy when you’re drunk” He smiles down at the book, showcasing those dimples decorating his cheeks.

I push his arm, “I’m not clingy when I’m drunk, I just need someone to make sure I don’t fall flat on my ass when I’m drunk.”

He added a pause between us, “I wanted to ask you what you meant when you said you took something that you said you wouldn’t.” I freeze, sitting on the table and tilting my head as if I don’t know what he’s talking about.

“What do you mean?”

“You said you took something and you told yourself you wouldn’t, you looked upset when you said it…” He also stops fixing the books, looking at me this time and I want to look away but if I do he’ll know something up.

“I never say anything that makes sense when I’m drunk, you shouldn’t listen to me and forget anything I say” I hand him a book on the side of me.

I can’t tell if he believes me or not, he’s quick to say something afterward. “Does that mean you lied when you said I was comfortable when you were laying on top of me?”

“You should forget that too, definitely, something I didn’t mean to do” His quick frown doesn’t go unnoticed.

“I didn’t mind, I liked it” His hand finds my thigh, slowly rising up my skirt before we both turn our heads at the sound of the intercom buzzing.

Carter’s voice rings throughout the library, calling my name and asking me to meet a visitor outside the building.

“Do you know who would be here to visit you?” He asks and I shake my head.

“Nope” I made it clear to Celeste that it’s hard for me to be around her, Father would never visit me unless he absolutely had to, and Grandma has made it clear that she doesn’t want me around.

“I’ll take the books to my room, you can come by when you’re done and read the ones you pick” I started noticing Alessio taking longer glances at me even when he’s done speaking.

“Do you have something else to ask me or is there something on my face?”

“No, nothing. I just got side-tracked” He puts the rest of the books in the bag and carries the rest, leaving the library first and I wait a few minutes before leaving after him.

“Great. Honey, I have someone for you to meet” To my surprise it’s Grandma, standing outside of the academy building waiting for me, dressed up.

“What are you doing here?” She’s smiling, and seeing her right now is building anger inside of me and it hasn’t even been a full minute.

“I’m here to introduce you to someone” She takes my hand and I take it back, making her roll her eyes. “Stop playing around, straighten out your posture, and smile”

“I’m not going with you, I don’t want you here” She stops walking when she notices I’m not following behind her.

“You can’t be seriously hung over the wedding, what I told you was only the truth now drop the attitude before you meet him” Every word she said only made me angrier until she said “him”

“Him?” She didn’t say anything to my question, she didn’t have to when another car pulled right behind the one Grandma arrived in.

A guy exited the sports car himself, in a dark blue suit, fixing the tie. He had to be at least two years older than me, he fixed his cufflinks before shutting his door. His hair was brown, reminding me of Alessio’s but it wasn’t the same, not even close. His eyes were green, and his overall appearance told me there was more than meets the eye about him. He looks over at me and raises his eyebrows as if I’ve passed some expectation.

Grandma was first to greet him, and judging by his smile it was obvious she knew him.

“Honey, meet Noah. I’ve told him so much about you” I grow confused, he sticks out his hand as soon as he comes up the steps, stopping at a step lower than me.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Honey. You are hotter than I imagined” He takes my hand and brings it to his lips, I take my hand back and look at my Grandma.

He has to be kidding me right.

“Care to explain why you’re telling random guys about me?” She comes up to stand beside him.

“Honey, it’s time for you to learn how to grow committed to someone, and I believe Noah is that person for you. If you two get to know each other, maybe you’d love to think about marriage” She explains and my face contorts into one of disbelief.

“Marriage? You’ve got to be kidding me. Is this some sick joke?” I look at her and at Noah, his hands are behind me as if they’ve talked about this and come to the conclusion.

“I’m sorry if she told you that I would be okay with this, but she’s gone full-blown delusional and she’s wasted your time and mine,” I tell him but he looks amused. 

“I believe we should try to get to know each other, maybe I’ll be able to change your mind, I can assure you that my time or yours hasn’t gone to waste” He’s just as delusional as she is.

Do they even hear themselves? The both of them are standing here, telling me they’ve discussed us meeting just to get married.

My gut is telling me there’s something more to the story in front of me, my Grandma is looking at Noah the same way she’d look at my father, with her utmost happiest smile, I didn’t like how Noah was looking at me either, it made me uncomfortable.

“Noah’s family is very wealthy and are important people, they’ve even been kind enough to be on board with this idea and would love for the two of you to be married” Grandma speaks, I spot her new necklace and new jewelry.

“Did you ever think that I, myself, do not want to get married to someone I don’t know? Or get married at all?” My words fall on deaf ears.

“I’ve put Noah on your visitation list so he’ll be coming around more often for the two of you to get to know each other more” I couldn’t believe my ears right now.

I didn’t even have to ask what my father thought about this, he was probably all for it, not listening and agreeing to do anything to get me away from him and though I didn’t want it to, it did hurt.

What did I ever do to him to make him hate me so much?

Since retaking the pills, my emotions have become a circus. I either get extremely tired or my hypersexuality gets worse on days than the rest or I tend to think about every wrong thing about my life and I spend my nights holding my mother’s picture and crying until I fall asleep.

“Both of you wasted your time coming here, I recommend never coming back” Noah smiles like this isn’t my last time seeing him.

I leave them both on the steps and enter the academy, my head can’t even begin to process anything that just happened.

I wasn’t paying attention and ended up bumping straight into Adam, who had his papers in his hands which he held on tight to so they wouldn’t fall out of his grip.

“Honey? What’s wrong?” He looks behind me and sees my Grandma walking down the steps with Noah and his face mixes into one of confusion and dislike.

“She’s fucking crazy is what’s wrong! She basically just married me off to some random guy!” I expect Adam to be surprised but his brows furrow downwards, almost like anger.

“She expects you to marry him?” I tell him yes and ask him if he can believe it and he says he can, I didn’t think too much of his response at the time.

“She’s trying to control my life, she doesn’t listen to me and thinks I’ll never amount to anything so she can just sign me away to a man as if I’m just some property!” My emotions begin to move everywhere, I feel Adam’s hand on my shoulder.

“Calm down, Honey, breathe. I understand that none of this is right, but you need to breathe” He’s right, I’m breathing heavily due to how fast I was talking and how fast I was talking.

“You can’t let her control you like this, you have to prove to her that you are the smart person that you and I know you are. You’re incredibly smart and talented and you have to make her listen to you, without words, by becoming so successful and leaving her behind.”

“Here you go” He hands me the confirmation letter that I don’t have to meet him for sessions anymore, “it’s finalized, you’re free from my boring speeches” he laughs a little.

“They weren’t boring, they just hit a little too close to home sometimes” I take the paper, but half of me knows that I don’t want to.

“It’s my job for you to realize not everything that happens to you is your fault Honey, but if you need any of my hour-long speeches, you know where my office is” The last part makes me laugh as well.

“Before I forget, you said you’d like it so it’s yours” He gave me the small painting I said I admired that was in his office.

“I can’t take this, you said your friend made this for you” He insists I keep it when I try to hand it back to him.

“She’d want you to have it, she’d probably say it’ll look better anywhere than in my plain office” Talking about his late friend, makes Adam smile.

“She sounds like a very smart woman.”

“She was incredibly smart…” He does a long pausing stare before clearing his throat, “I shouldn’t hold you here for too long, don’t let your Grandma or your father ruin your future Honey, you should start looking into what you want to pursue” he says before he’s walking out of the building.

“Is everything okay?” Alessio questions as I move the book from his lap and climb on top of him.

“Why wouldn’t everything be okay?” I remove my shirt and toss it to the other side of the bed.

“It’s just that you haven’t said anything since you came back from your visit and now we’re doing this… did something happen?” I leave a peck on his lips, his cheeks beginning to heat up even from the quick and small kiss.

“Nothing happened, I just want to get something off of my mind. That’s all” He helps me take off his shirt but he still pushes the subject.

“Maybe we should talk about it then” I sigh as he speaks, shaking my head.

“Why talk? When this’ll feel so much better” I use my nails to run down his stomach, eliciting that soft groan from him.

“I-I just think that’ll help more…” His words die out as I kiss the spot on his neck that makes him instantly grip my hips.

I didn’t have to tell Alessio about my Grandma or Noah, it wasn’t any of his business and I didn’t even want to begin thinking about the idea of anyone thinking that I would ever marry someone.

“Trust me when I say thinking about it will only make things worse, let’s not talk about it anymore. Okay?” He nods his head slowly when he sees me biting my lip.

“Is there something bothering you? Because you seem to want to get something off your chest” I sneak my index finger underneath his chin.

He’s quiet for a few seconds, “I sent the photos this morning, I’ll be receiving the last decision letter soon hopefully…”

“Are you afraid I didn’t get you into your dream school? I mean I thought I did a fantastic job on my part but they’d be absolute idiots not to accept you” I cross my arms, his hands soothingly massage the lasting ache in my thighs from two days ago.

“You never told me what your dream school is.”

“It’s simple, I don’t have one. I haven’t applied to any and I don’t think I will” I simply say.

“Are you not sure what you want to do after we finish our schooling here?”

“Whatever I do, I want it to be as far away from my family as possible. Whether that means becoming a stripper across the world” The last part was a joke but the first part wasn’t.

Whatever life was going to throw at me after Hartford, I was hoping it would be nowhere near my father or Grandma. Somewhere new, where I didn’t hear “I’ve heard so much about you” every time someone I’ve never seen before says to me for the first time.

“Enough about me, does your father know his son is going somewhere other than a religious university?” I ask, and he looks down at my lap.

“I haven’t told him… I’m waiting to be fully accepted before I tell my parents” I gasp in sarcasm and he looks up.

“Defying your parents, lying, doing everything they’ve told you not to. I’m beginning to think that this is why they don’t want us near each other for this very reason” His dimpled smile peaks through.

“But I make your life so much more fun, don’t I?”

“Yes… you do” Something deep within his eyes was glinting in his brown eyes, it was easy to catch but hard to figure out what.

“You don’t understand how hot I think it is how you can go from all shy and kind, to how you were yesterday. I feel honored to be the first to see that side of you” I run my thumb over the dark mark above his collarbone.

“I want you to stay here tonight, with me” He gazed into my eyes, “Please” Parts of me knew my answer would be disappointing.

“I don’t know, we have lectures early tomorrow” Oh when have you ever cared about that. My subconscious said.

Knowing the only reason I was a bit taken back was because Alessio would count as the first person I’d shared a bed with.

“I’ll set an alarm, I promise we won’t be late” I look over to the alarm clock on the dresser beside the bed and sigh.

There was something about him that made it hard to deny him especially when he asked so politely.

“Fine, but when you’re complaining about how much space I take up. Remember this was your idea” I get off his lap and with a dimpled smile, he gets a shirt from his closet out for me.

“I won’t complain,” He says, handing me the black shirt.

“We’ll see about”— He cuts off my sentence by pulling me in, my arms are trapped between my body and his chest.

“Please stay until the morning… not just the night” I realize that he’s talking about how I left before he could wake up last time.

“I’m not making any promises.”

• Another reminder, not a love triangle.

• I’m not 100% about it but the book might have up to 60 or 65 chapters, for all who have been asking.

chapt 43 • Rejection

I never felt what it was like to be sleeping in the same bed as someone I was having sex with.

The warmth that surrounded you even underneath the sheets, the sound of their breathing mixing with yours. The feeling of an empty bed disappearing, the comfort of it all.

Usually, they’d already either been sneaking out or I was the one leaving as soon as we were done.

This was my first night sleeping without waking up in the middle of the night or having trouble falling asleep.

“And here I thought I took all the space,” I said more to myself because Alessio was still asleep.

Lying his head on my stomach, his hair was everywhere and the soft breaths spilling from his lips tickled at my skin. I memorized how his back muscles tensed as I drew nonsense on him.

My chest felt heavy for those seconds he was asleep. Whenever I tried to shift myself, his eyebrows pushed together and he brought me closer and held me tighter.

I could only stay still and watch how his eyebrows fell into peace when I stopped moving. I don’t know what it is, but something within me wanted just a few more minutes of this before he opened his eyes.

I noticed that I was just staring at him as he got up, his hair falling over his face and the heat of his body leaving mine as he reached over to shut off the alarm that I didn’t notice had been ringing continuously.

“You’re definitely the clingy one” I sit up, removing the sheets from my body and getting off my bed, stepping into the penguin slippers waiting for me on the floor. I stopped by my room last night for my toothbrush and body care necessities.

“You’re nice to lay on” He scratches the back of his head and I drop my eyes to how his sweats reveal that V-line as he stretches.

I enter the bathroom and I notice Alessio smiling down at something, I place my toothbrush in my mouth and follow his eyes to my slippers.

“What? You don’t like them?” I lift my foot higher and he begins to laugh and enters the bathroom to brush his teeth.

I sat on the side of the counter, “I think they’re really cute..” He’s looking at me in the mirror.

“I might have to get you a matching pair then” I rise the toothpaste out of my mouth with water.

“I would wear them all the time” He does the same and I’m looking at him without knowing there’s a smile on my face.

He inhales before stepping between my thighs, sliding his hands up my thighs, sending nice sensations along my skin.

“There’s a really old library in town… and I want to go… but I really want to go with you. Will you come with me Honey” I couldn’t help but let my breathing pick up with how close he began to lean in.

My eyes flickered between those eyes that wouldn’t handle me saying no, and those innocent lips that wanted me to say yes by pressing my lips onto his.

“You know we can’t be seen together…”—

“My father is visiting my mother today, and no one in the school knows about the library or that part of town. We can’t leave together but we can meet each other, only if you want to. If not, it’s okay, I’ll still pick some books for you” It almost made me groan how someone could be so sweet.

He slips his hand into mine, and that new feeling of comfort inside of me makes its appearance when he does.

“Does the library have one of those sliding ladders? I’ve always wanted a library with one”My question makes him smile.

“Would you still go if I said no?” He turns his head slightly, moving in closer to my lips.

“I mean I would have to think about it.. you might have to do a little more convincing” He makes me stop mid-sentence by joining our lips for a deep and heated kiss, tongues debating who would control this kiss.

When he squeezed my hand in his, I didn’t expect it and let him win.

When he stopped and his hand was still in mine, it was like a switch that hadn’t been turned on in my life flicked for a second before it turned off.

“I’ll go, but only if you kiss me again” It was only at this moment that I ever asked for another kiss.

It was only with him that I ever kissed someone this much, the only time I’ve ever kissed anyone I’ve been with was the make-out session before the sex, and never during the sex did I ever kiss them.

I would be a shitty liar if I didn’t admit I liked kissing Alessio, there was always something so gentle and considerate about how he was with me.

“I’ll kiss you like this as many times as you want” His thumb brushed on my knuckles softly, it made my heart beat against my chest.

“Then I’ll come” Then it hit me.

Though I’ve never experienced one, this sounded exactly like what someone would consider it.

“This isn’t a date, we’re just hanging out,” I say without any hesitation, he nods as if he doesn’t want to but I had to make it clear that this was far from a date.

“A little odd for you not to be in your room” I hear the aggravating sound of Noah’s voice as he leans on my door.

He eyes my legs, all the way up to the small shorts, it felt disgusting and weird to be under his gaze. I didn’t like what he was thinking of right now.

“Why are you in front of my room? Why are you here in the first place?” I don’t step closer to him, I didn’t have to because he came closer to me.

“Because I want to get to know my future wife” He raised his rough hand to my face and he touched my cheek.

“Touch me again and I’ll break each of your fingers, leave me alone” I open my door, trying to quickly close it but his foot sneaks to the door before I can and he lets himself in.

“That’s no way to speak to your husband now is it?” he looks around my room, picking up one of the poetry books Alessio let me keep.

“You’re not and never will be my husband, you need to leave” I grab my book from him, putting it down but again it all seems like a joke to him.

I don’t need to ask how he knew where my room was, the woman who simply thinks she gave me away definitely told him without hesitation.

“She did tell me you had an attitude, I can fix that” he reaches his hand out to touch my face again but my hand whips across his face before he can touch me.

“Don’t fucking touch me” The slap only makes a sinister smirk appear on his face.

“Don’t act like you wouldn’t want me to like it’s not what you’re just dying for me to do” he rubs the side of his cheek where it begins to turn red.

“But you’re right, it wouldn’t be right for me to touch my wife before I took her to dinner” Is he fucking serious?

“Now I know why my Grandma likes you, not only do you come from money. But you’re just as fucking stupid as she is” I cross my arms

“I knew you’d say something like this, that’s why I thought you’d be interested in this” He digs through his pocket and reaches for a white paper in his back pocket.

“I’m sure you’d like to know why you’re Grandma didn’t take more than a second before accepting my proposal for marrying you and a lot more that my family has dug up from her past. It comes in handy when your brother is training to become a detective” He raises the paper as if he’s won some competition.

“What do you mean dug up from her past? What does it say?” I try to reach for it but he pulls it back and stuffs it in his coat before I can.

“Ah Ah, my driver will be outside in two hours. If he confirms you’re in the car on the way to the restaurant I picked out for us then I’ll let you read everything he found” I clenched my jaw, I hated everything about him and his dumb smug face, I wanted to see it repeatedly being punched in.

“You’re fucking asshole you know that?” He reaches for the doorknob behind me, and that weird chill of him being close to me returns.

“Until then, my dear wife” He gives me a wink and leaves my room.

I was interested to see what he found if he was telling the truth about digging up my Grandma’s past, what could he have found that they haven’t been telling me.

No matter how much I didn’t want to do this, I was curious, extremely curious that I cursed myself when I was beginning to get ready to go to a restaurant with a poor excuse of a man.

I knew nothing about Noah, other than he was a dickhead and extremely rich which was true.

Noah’s long and sleek limousine reminded me of my father’s as it pulled in front of me.

I got inside and the driver made the phone call, Noah’s annoying voice could be heard on the other side and I could imagine that fucking shit-eating grin of his as he told the driver the name of the restaurant.

Then the driver handed me the phone, “Smart choice on deciding to come” he said through the phone.

“I’m not going for you, you’re lucky I have questions that need answering” The driver began to exit through the academy gates.

“We eat dinner first, then get to dessert and maybe you let me have a little extra dessert and then you get the paper and your answers” I hang up and roll my eyes at the audacity he has to even mention anything about me letting him fuck me.

“You’re client is an asshole, I don’t even want to think about his family or how you deal with him” I hand the phone back to the driver and he laughs a little but doesn’t say a word.

“I get paid very well ma’am” He speaks finally, a hint of an accent as he turns the car into town.

We pass some streets until I’m looking out the window and see an old-fashioned library and one person comes to mind as I remember.

Alessio.

I wasn’t an over-thinker, not unless it came to Honey Rose.

After the seventh time, the bell rang and I’d lift my head from the book I was reading, hoping it was her. I stopped and accepted that she wasn’t coming.

I couldn’t lie and say that I wasn’t hurt, I did want her to come even if she saw this as nothing but the two of us hanging out.

I was nervous to ask her to come, not only because I thought she’d say no but also because I was afraid she’d change her mind and not want to come after all.

I throw away the ice cream that I remember her telling me what her favorite as it began melting away in the small bowl.

I stayed a little longer, holding onto the hope I had that she was just running late.

I took a picture of the sliding ladder and sent it to her, telling her that she was right to want one of these and that I wanted one myself.

I still picked out books for her, mostly ones with a hardcover because I know she likes them more.

I enjoyed the small moments we shared a lot, small moments like this morning. Though I was sleeping because it felt right and comfortable to be so close to her, I still felt the small details she drew on my back.

Small moments like when we’d sit in silence and just read until she told me about a part in the book she liked or told me it reminded her of me.

I was smiling down at the books as I placed them in the brown bag, remembering how cute she looked this morning only in my shirt and in her penguin slippers.

She said she couldn’t promise me that she would stay but she did and I didn’t know how to explain how I felt when I woke up and saw how breathtaking she looked even in the morning.

Sometimes I wondered what she thought about me and if it was all the same things I felt and thought of around and about her.

There were never enough words to describe how I saw Honey, it was as if beautiful wasn’t enough to describe her, there were so many things I wanted to tell her but I knew that I couldn’t.

I was afraid that maybe she wouldn’t want more than what we have now, or at least not want more with me. Maybe I wasn’t the person she’d want to have an actual relationship with.

For now, I would have to accept the fact that after the last few months at the academy we’d end what we have and I would never be able to get to tell her how I feel.

This was a terrible idea.

I could see my phone light up with a few messages as Noah ate away and talked about himself since we sat down.

“I’d let you drive one but I wouldn’t want you to crash one and not afford to pay me back” He continues about his car collection.

“What did she promise you to get you so confident, or are you naturally this cocky?” Something about Noah throws me off, he has an aura about him that makes me reel my hand back before he can touch it.

“Don’t you think you should be asking why she was so willing to give her granddaughter up for marriage, it’s funny what people would do if you wave a check in their faces” He sips his drink, and snaps at the waiter for more.

I sit quietly and think about his words, “Are you saying my own Grandma gave me up for a fucking check?” I stand up from my seat.

Why am I surprised right now? She’s always been such a witch but I never thought she could ever go so far.

“Don’t be upset, at least she gave you up to me. Though she’s a sick woman, mentally and physically” He goes into his coat and pulls out the white paper, and slides it over to me.

I quickly grabbed and opened the letter, it was my Grandma’s hospital records.

She suffered from heart disease for years now which caused her to apply and sign for a treatment that she couldn’t afford. The amount of money she owed almost made my eyes pop from their sockets, it was unbelievable.

“And to pay for all of this, she thinks forcing me to marry someone I don’t want is going to make all of this go away” I can’t help the laugh that escapes me, she’s truly gone crazy.

“She’s going to have to find another way to pay for all of this because there’s no way in hell I’m going to marry you” I get my phone and bag and shove the letter inside and go to walk off.

Before I can, a dry hand wraps around my wrist tightly. Noah pulls my wrist making my body bump right into his and clicks his tongue menacingly.

“If you think I gave away that much money for you to walk away from this, you’re truly mistaken Honey” His eyes are dark and I try to twist out of his grip but it doesn’t work.

“I’m not one to take rejection well” He smirks down at my cleavage and the disgusting look in his eyes causes my knee to rise and knee him hard in his private area making him let go of my wrist and my fist connects with his nose.

“You should start learning then.”

• This was supposed to be out two days ago but I haven’t been feeling well this past week so this update isn’t the best.

chapt 44 • Read To Me

I felt like a complete bitch.

What wasn’t making the feeling any better was the stack of books on the side of my door with a cookie wrapped in a cute and decorated box.

The messages made it even worse, the picture of the sliding ladder and the gray cat resting soundly on his lap.

But if I never had gone to that dinner, I would’ve never learned what my Grandma’s true intentions were for marrying me off to Noah.

I read the letter over and over, making sure everything I was reading was true.

Was it wrong when I read about her condition that I didn’t feel any remorse for her?

A woman who didn’t have a single good bone in her body was suffering from a heart condition. A heart I would’ve never guessed she had.

Even if she couldn’t pay for the treatments, this wasn’t the way to repay her debt. Giving me off as if I was just so easy to dispose of.

The idea of Grandma happily signing Noah’s contract only angered me. I knew she could be cruel but the woman was just evil.

“Am I wrong? I don’t feel bad for her” I say while I let Adam read through the paper.

His facial expression is one I didn’t expect, I expected him to be shocked, asking what the fuck like I did but instead he looked… angry, his eyebrows were scrunched together, his hand over his chin while the stare in his eyes could burn the paper just like that.

“You’re not wrong, she has never given you sympathy, you cannot return something you weren’t given in the first place” He raises his eyes to me, as his words went farther than about sympathy for my Grandma.

“He said she’s been planning this for a while now, she’s probably hiding so much more from me” Adam doesn’t say anything, he folds the paper and puts it back into the envelope.

“Have you begun to look at what university you’d like to attend?” I stay silent and it’s enough to answer his question.

“It’s important Honey and I know what you’re thinking right now, that you won’t get into one and that isn’t true. You’re smarter than you think, far more talented than you believe. You need to start giving yourself more credit.”

I was starting to realize I ended the sessions with Adam because I didn’t want them to feel like I had to come but I wanted to come on my own time. Adam was the only adult in my life who actually gave me his time and listened to me without making my feelings feel invalidated.

“You should write a book, you have a lot of wise men quotes” He rolls his eyes but doesn’t try to hide the smile lifting to his face.

“I’ll be sure to put you in the dedication.”

“Adam…please don’t turn out to be like them. Like every other adult in my life” I keep my hands braced in front of me, slowly raising my eyes to find Adam going to say something before he changes it at the last second.

“If you haven’t noticed you’ve started to grow on me” It brings a grin to his face, “And even though I didn’t want you to, I’m glad you did”

“I’m not the best at this but I trust you, a lot” As the word trust falls from my lips, something in Adam’s eyes changes, a happy glint covers them and he places his hands on either side of my shoulders.

“I wish I was recording this moment” His sarcastic response makes me shake my head.

“But in all seriousness, it means a lot to me that you’ve put so much trust in me Honey, I promise you I won’t break it” He let go of my shoulders.

I can’t help but think he means something on a deeper level.

I tilted my head back and gulped the water to wash down the pill slowly.

I was waiting for Alessio to meet me in my room, he said he wouldn’t be here for a few minutes and Charolette had already stopped by before then.

Astra finally asked her to be her girlfriend and she said yes. Since then she’s been rambling on in excitement and then her mood changes when she remembers her family, it goes back to excitement because she says she doesn’t care and she’s willing to get them to accept.

“Can you bring my phone on the bed please?” I had been checking my phone all day to see if Alessio had responded to my text.

I didn’t see him in the halls and we didn’t share any lectures today.

“This is such a cute cat… oh my goodness” I hear Charolette squeal over a cat then a loud gasp.

I peek my head from the bathroom and she’s standing with her mouth practically on the floor staring at something on my phone.

“I said bring it, not look at it” I take the phone from her to see what she’s looking at and it’s the photo of the cat on Alessio’s lap while he smiles into the camera.

“It was opened and I happened to look and I didn’t mean to look at his face because the cat looked really cute” Charolette begins to freak out and looks at the picture of Alessio again.

“But oh my God, I would’ve never thought that you two would ever be together! I mean I know when you first came you were interested in knowing who it was and stuff and you asked if he tutored anyone… the clues were there and I still couldn’t see them?” She pushes her hand against her bangs.

“Wait! Did you go to him after the sleepover? I mean I should’ve known something was up when you both left that party together but then you guys said you were only partners so I let it go. That was until I saw how red he was when you walked by his seat that one time and I’ve never seen him ever go red and here I thought I blush hard” She continues to put things together, walking back and forth with her hand on her chin.

“We’re not together but you have to keep this to yourself, as my friend I know you won’t tell anyone” She makes a zipper gesture against her lips.

“Friend! You called me your friend, I think I’m going to die now, but I won’t tell a soul, especially not after you kept my secret about Astra and I.”

Then I hear his two knocks at the door before he adds one last one to make sure I know it’s him.

I go to open the door and Charolette becomes a statue the second she sees him.

“I should get back to my room, I’ll see you tomorrow” She scurries to grab her bag and makes sure to give me a salute and a “your secret is safe with me and I’ve thrown away the key” gesture.

She slips past Alessio who stands there with a pink box in his hand with my name on it.

“I found this outside of your door just now. ‘’ I take the box from him, letting him come inside before anyone other than Charolette sees him.

I read the card that is taped on the bottom of the box which says “A Gift from your Handsome Husband, to my feisty and hot wife. Maybe you’ll wear this for me on our honeymoon” I open the box and find a lingerie set.

The set was black, and the underwear and bra were both lace. The bra was see-through, no doubt it’s the exact reason why he chose it, the underwear was more of a thong, with thin straps that would rest on my hips, and a lace front that wouldn’t hide a thing.

Noah was unbearable but he had a good eye for lingerie, and just because I was going to soon end that contract he had with my Grandmother, didn’t mean I couldn’t keep the gifts he gave me.

I hid the card somewhere underneath the stack of books to my left before picking up the set and holding it up to my body before facing Alessio who was sitting on my bed looking at his hands.

“What do you think?” He fixes his gaze on me, first my face then at the material that I’m holding.

“Someone gifted you that?” He places his hands on either side of him and pushes himself a little bit further on the bed and grabs one of the poetry books on the side of him.

“Someone I wish would leave me alone, but I’m going to keep it, maybe wear it for you instead” He doesn’t take my remark the way he usually does, instead his eyes tell me he’s thinking of something else.

I put the set away, and go over to him, resting my hand on his shoulder. Alessio goes back to looking down at the poetry book in his hands and it’s obvious that he’s still upset and I don’t like it.

I slide myself onto his lap, using my index finger to lift his chin. “I really wanted to go… something came up”

I found myself not liking the look on his face or body language when he was upset or down about something.

I was going to make it up to him with the only way I knew how to, pleasure.

“I want to make it up to you” While he’s reading the book, I whisper into his neck softly.

His hands grip the book tighter when he realizes I’m slightly grinding onto him.

“You don’t have to I”—

“Read me your favorite pieces of poetry while I please you” I feel his hardness grow underneath me and his lips part open with heavy breaths.

I begin to unbutton his shirt slowly, kissing down his neck almost in the worst and possibly - teasing way. The cross necklace lying there, his holiness slipping away inch by inch as I leave my sins along his now tainted skin.

“P-Please” The deep vibration I feel against my lips as they stay on his pulse. I smile and lift my head, with one slow grind of my hips. Alessio lets a hot moan fall from his lips. His erection grows harder, as well as the pulse of my clit. My pussy was directly above him.

“Read to me Alessio, read to me while I show you how sorry I am for missing yesterday. But if you stop, I will too” In a mix, I’m making it up to him but making it a living hell at the same time.

“Honey I don’t think I can read if you have my..” His words die off when I go down to my knees, running my palm over the tent in his pants.

“I think you can, you just have to focus. You can do that for me, can’t you?” I went to unzip his pants but the tent in them had already brought the zipper down.

Shit.

I unbutton his pants and take his dick from his underwear, being met with the pre-cum that slowly slides down his shaft, my eyes follow it until my tongue sticks out to lick it from falling any further.

The book in his hand was filled with a mix of poetry lines and I loved hearing him read them to me.

“Hope is the thing with feathers… oh my your lips are so soft…that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words..” I catch him off guard by slipping him into my mouth, moaning around his head at the taste of his pre-cum.

“And n-never stops at all… and the sweetest with Gale… God your tongue is so good… is heard and sore must be the storm…” He stops to tilt his head back and moans my name.

I peer up to him, seeing how he swallowed thickly and grips the book tighter, I pull my mouth away from him when I don’t hear him reading and he looks at me with a desperate look.

“Honey I can’t do this… your mouth and when you do that with your hand at the same time… it makes it hard to even think” He pushes the hair out of my face so I can see the look in his eyes.

“Too bad I like it when you read to me” I continue to slowly stroke him, “I’ll let you cum down my throat if you finish reading after this”

“I’ll read as many books as you want me to, all of them in the library if you want… just please make me cum Honey… please” It makes my clit pulse against my underwear when he says please.

How he could go from a begging mess to taking control over a kiss or using his tongue to make me cry out for more turned me on in ways I don’t think I’ve felt before.

I take him down my throat, his fingers run through my hair and gather the strands. Lifting his hips so he hits deep inside my throat while his head rests back.

“That feels so good… I don’t think I’m going to last long if you keep doing that” I guide my hand up and down while using my tongue around his tip.

“Then cum for me” His hand’s grip on my hair tightens, and his hips lift to their own accord as he grows closer and closer, on the brink of his release.

Watching Alessio chase his climax was better than watching a sunset. I closed my eyes as he repeatedly said my name into the room until he stopped me from bobbing my head any further and coming down my throat.

When he’s done helping me clean off some of his release that had spilled from the corners of my lips, I find myself asking something I never thought I would.

“Stay the night?”

• Something small for now since I have the next few chapters planned out.

• I think this book might be a little longer than I thought but not too long.

chapt 45 • Raising Suspicion

“You go first” I sit on the side of my bed and watch as Alessio buttons his shirt, the view of his chiseled and toned body disappears beneath the white button-up.

He told me he had something to tell me, and I still had to tell him about Noah who I expect to come around even more since I kneed him in the balls at the restaurant.

“After I dropped off your books two days ago, Madelyn found me in the halls and kept asking me questions on why I was there… I told her that I went to see if you were in your room to finish our project but she kept pushing it. When I said we were already submitting ours… she asked me if I could help with hers unless you and I do more together than work on a project..” He explained and I began to feel like I knew what he was going to say next.

“You said no right? To helping her” That’s when he reached his hand to rub the back of his neck.

“I… I said yes because she was growing suspicious, I told her I would only help her with her second to the last stage only for the week and that’s it… I’m sorry” His tone turns apologetic.

“You don’t need to apologize, it’s not like what I’m going to tell you isn’t similar to yours” I look down at my nails before saying anything more.

Truth was, I didn’t like the idea of Alessio being around Madelyn for more than a minute and now he’d be around her for a week.

Knowing Madelyn she’d of course try something, though I knew he wouldn’t let her. If she was getting suspicious she’d definitely try and guilt-trip him into doing something he didn’t want to.

“My Grandma is actually the devil herself, who decided to take it upon herself to marry me off to some asshole for money to pay off her treatment debt” I finally say and look at him to get his expression but it’s blank.

“Marry you off… as in she signed some contract?” I nod my head and his eyebrows push together.

“She can’t do that… What about your father? Did he just allow this to happen?” He walks closer to where I’m sitting on the bed to where I have to crane my neck up.

“What about him? He’d probably do the same even if that meant he’d get nothing in return” I say truthfully, father hasn’t answered any of my calls since I found out.

“That’s not okay… neither is being married to someone you don’t even know or even met” Well.

“I have met him, I’ve met him twice actually…” I cross my legs on the bed while he starts to figure out something.

“Was he the reason you didn’t make it to the library? Were you with him?” I can see the slight jealousy swirl in his eyes again.

“Before you get jealous though I like how your tongue feels when you are, Noah is nothing to be jealous of. I did go with him that day to a restaurant, only because he had something I wanted” I only make it worse by mentioning the restaurant.

“You went on a date with him?” He tilts his head to the side and the same look when I mentioned Jaxon to Alessio returns.

“It wasn’t a date, I don’t go on dates. If I didn’t go with him I would’ve never found out about my Grandma and her shady shit” I try to make it better by placing my hand on his stomach.

“She’s sick, she’s been sick for years which makes no sense to me because aren’t people supposed to be all kind and apologetic when something like this happens? Even sick , she’s still such a bitch.”

“Was she the reason you left the wedding early?” I didn’t answer his question and that was enough for him to figure out the answer himself.

“She’s never done anything for me other than make my life a living hell” My voice lowers as I think about everything she’s put me through.

“Honey I”— We both turn our heads at the obnoxious and loud sound of knocking at my door.

It got louder and louder until I couldn’t take it anymore and got off of my bed without thinking that Alessio was still in the room, opening the door Noah stood with red knuckles until he saw me.

His smirk dropped when he saw Alessio standing beside my bed, luckily Alessio was dressed in uniform and already collecting the study books and his bags.

Noah eyed Alessio carefully as he left the room, sparing me one last glance. As he walked down the hall, Madelyn turned the corner and waved and called his name.

I tried to keep my composure when she looked at me and I knew she was up to something. She wrapped her arm around Alessio’s and asked him something that I couldn’t hear because Noah was saying something that I didn’t care about.

“What do you want?” I finally snapped at him as they disappeared around the hall.

“Came to see if my wife got my apology gift, and if you’d like to try it on for me and we could get familiar with each other” I almost gag at the idea of having sex with Noah.

“But instead I come to find out that my wife is sleeping with the Headmaster’s son? I don’t remember this being a part of our contract” I grip the doorknob when he mentions Alessio and I.

“He’s my partner on a project we were assigned to work on together and it’s not our contract asshole” When I call him an asshole, Noah moves me further into my room and shuts the door.

“You know you have such a smart mouth, you should change that before you meet my parents.”

“I’d rather go home to my Grandma” His chilling smirk returns and he locks my door.

“That can be arranged if I were to say something about you and Carter Rivers’ son. I’m sure he doesn’t want you anywhere near a son he has perfected to stay out of trouble” He messes with his watch

“I don’t care if you tell her, do you really think she can do worse than she already has? I mean she thinks I’m getting married to you, what’s worse than that?” I cross my arms, sitting on my bed trying not to let him get to me.

“Oh I know you don’t care, you couldn’t care less what happens in your pathetic life. But I know he does about his and you do too, I wonder what his father would do if he knew you too were much more than just partners working on an assignment” He picks up one of the poetry books Alessio bought me.

“It’s so obvious the way he looks at you Honey as if you’ve ruined everything his parents have spent his whole life trying to build. A perfect and obedient son” He puts them down and walks over to me while I sit on my bed.

The last thing I wanted was to be the reason Carter took everything from Alessio before he got to achieve his dreams and everything he was so passionate about.

“What do you seriously want? I know you don’t want to marry me, so what could you possibly want from me?” I stand up, already pissed.

“I want you to act like my fucking wife, enough of this attitude, and put on a smile for me, maybe even give me a kiss on the cheek” He pulls my arm, crashing my body into his.

“Or I’ll tell his father but you won’t let me do that, will you? You’re not that much of a heartless bitch” I push him away but his last sentence lingers in my head.

You’re not that much of a heartless bitch.

I don’t like this.

Madelyn was holding onto my arm while we walked through the halls to go into the library.

“I think you should let go…I don’t want someone to see us and we get in trouble for this” I try to get her to stop politely.

“No one will see us, especially if we’re alone in the library” She opens the doors and I can’t help but want nothing more than to be caught.

“Madelyn please, I think we should do this outside..” I set the books down and she touches her hand over mine.

“Why? Don’t you like the library? I always see you coming here with Honey so what’s the difference? There’s nothing special about her

There’s an entire list I could recite for her or anyone about what makes Honey special, but it would only raise more suspicion.

“I just think the fresh air would be nice and make it easier for us to work on your project” I snuck a glance at the door behind the bookshelves, not wanting her anywhere near there.

She grabs my attention by sitting on the table next in front of me. “I actually haven’t started my project, I didn’t have a partner so I don’t know what to do. What did you guys do yours on?”

Something I want to relive, over and over again.

“Something small, but we used photography mainly” I won’t reveal all that we did, and Madelyn seems to believe the short answer I’ve given her.

“Then we should do that, what did you take pictures of?” She messes with the books and I look at the clock, wanting the time to go faster.

Pictures of someone which haven’t left my mind since I took them. Pictures she let me keep that I look at more times than I can count.

“I don’t think we should do that, I mean it’s supposed to be original” I don’t want to take photos of Madelyn, that’s the last thing I ever want to take photos of.

Besides, if I were to use the idea Honey and I came up with together it would feel wrong.

Madelyn groans and gets off the table, “I don’t want to do any of this honestly, there’s a party right now and I’m missing it… unless you want to come with me?”

“I don’t like parties, but I can leave if you want to go” I try and suggest but she comes closer to me, when she messes with my tie I back up to make the material slip out of her hands. “Why not? You went last time Honey was there! You left with her too, it’s not fair you two got paired together when I’ve been here longer than her and she suddenly comes and everyone fucking dies for her” She lets out and I don’t know what to say so I don’t say anything.

Madelyn was jealous of Honey. Before Honey came, everyone did anything Madelyn said, because of her parents who had the money to persuade the academy’s council to do anything.

Madelyn would blackmail the students who actually wanted to be here so that her parents would get them kicked out. She was a bully to those who didn’t have her privileges and I didn’t like her for it.

There was nothing nice about her, nothing that could ever make me want to be around her.

“It’s not fair! How come she gets to work with you automatically? When I’ve been trying to get you to tutor me since the first day I’ve seen you!” She grows frustrated, throwing her arms up and I want nothing more than to leave.

When she sees me getting my books, she grabs my bag as well and stops me.

“I have you for this week, don’t I? I’m going to make it count for the both of us” Madelyn reaches up with her lips pressed together and I realize that she’s going for a kiss.

I pull my bag, carefully trying not to make her fall over but she stumbles forward a bit before catching her balance.

“I’m sorry but I don’t think we should do any more than work on your project, if you can’t respect that then you need to find someone else to work with” I strictly tell her, not wanting to think about kissing anyone else who wasn’t Honey.

I still think about our first shared kiss, the nervousness I felt thinking that I would be terrible or that she wouldn’t want to do it again.

How her lips felt against mine, how soft and plump they are, and how they set my body on fire when she kisses my neck or down my chest.

Each part of my body is marked with Honey’s lips and her lips only.

How addicted I am to kissing her should be considered illegal.

“Fine, but I don’t want her coming to us if we’re working. She’ll just distract us” Madelyn pulls me out of my daydream about Honey’s lips.

Then I remember that Honey was alone with that guy I saw in the morning. I didn’t like how he looked at her body as if he was thinking of something more than just talking to her.

Even though she said it wasn’t a date, I didn’t like the idea that she was with him because he probably interrupted it as one, and that thought didn’t make my firm grip on the book any better.

I didn’t get the chance to tell Honey that what her Grandma was doing wasn’t right and she didn’t deserve anything she put her through because he knocked on her door before I could even get a word out.

Every time she mentioned her father, I could see something in her eyes breaking even before she turned away from my eyes. She’s made it clear that her family doesn’t care for her and she makes it seem as if it was okay and something she deserved and I want to be the one to tell her that it wasn’t.

I want to be the one to comfort her and tell her things she’s never heard before and tell her words that she thinks she doesn’t deserve to be told, I didn’t want anyone else to be there for her the way I wanted to be there for her.

I want her to come to me and rely on me when something bothers her. I’ve notice that she shuts down when I ever get close to showing her that I care, she either turns away or distracts me with sexual advances.

It all came to me that day her Grandma came to visit her after the wedding day and she didn’t say anything to me until she said she wanted to get a few things off of her mind.

Sex was her coping mechanism.

• I went to watch a sunset and it reminds me every time how absolutely beautiful they are.

chapt 46 • Jealousy Goes Both Ways

This week has been absolute shit.

I haven’t seen Alessio in five days. At least I haven’t spoken to him in five days and I hated it.

I’ve only ever seen him around the hall with Madelyn following him around like a lost dog with zero home training.

Whenever she’d see me, she’d slip her hand around his arm and lean her head onto his before he’d embarrass her and pull away.

I can’t even look at him for too long because of Noah, who has made it his job to visit every day and make it known that he knows me.

From walking me to every lecture and waiting outside to walk me to my room, the only time he leaves is when his mother calls and asks him to come home.

He’s lied to her and told her he’d bring me over for dinner one of these days, but neither of them knew that I was trying my hardest to get out of this stupid fucking contract.

For now I had to sit in the dining hall while Noah who seemed to have nothing better to do than to torture me speak about how wealthy his family is and how expensive his watch was.

From across the dining hall, Madelyn sat too close to Alessio for my liking. Staring at him with big and creepy eyes while he tried to keep his distance and kept his eyes on the stack of books in front of him while she went on about nonsense.

I don’t know what was worse, seeing Madelyn look as if she had just won herself some prize or listening to Noah brag about how much money he’s inherited from his parents.

I didn’t get a full night’s sleep last night, most of me didn’t want to admit the reason why, as if something inside of me just wouldn’t let me.

But I knew the reason was sitting across the room from me, occasionally sneaking glances towards me and hateful looks at the person sitting next to me especially when he tried to touch me.

When Noah’s phone rang and he turned around to speak to whoever at the same time Madelyn got up and left quickly and I took the opportunity to text Alessio to meet me somewhere.

I waited for him to get the message, he looked up from his phone and I softly bit my bottom lip. His eyes then move down when Noah puts his hand on my thigh, and that soft look in his eyes disappears.

Alessio stands up and leaves the dining hall, and I don’t get a text back until two minutes later telling me that he’s waiting for me in a room.

I grab my stuff and Noah moves the phone from his ear and ask me where I’m going, “I have classes, I can’t sit here all day and wait around for you”

“I’ll meet you at your room later then, don’t do anything that’ll make me do something I don’t want to” He sends me a chilling wink, reminding me that he won’t hesitate to tell Carter about Alessio and I.

Even on my way to meet Alessio, I pass Carter and all I can think about is how he’s planned Alessio’s entire life for him. Which Alessio is working to plan his future himself and I could possibly ruin that.

Carter goes his own way and I go to the room Alessio asked me to meet him in, knocking once more than twice and Alessio returns the same knocking actions before the door is being opened and I’m being pulled inside.

I don’t even get to say anything before my back is hitting the door and his hands reach up to either side of my neck to pull me into a deep and hard kiss.

My hands found their way to his hair and he moved his hands down my body to the back of my thighs, tapping his fingers twice, gesturing me to brace myself as he lifted me up.

There’s a desk behind him, I finally notice that the lights are off. Except for the small light shining through the window and I can’t see which room we’re in but as he places me down onto the desk, I knock something over which sounds like pens.

Alessio takes my mind off of it, his right hand bringing my thigh to his waist, stepping in closer between my legs, his tongue taking control of the kiss before moving down to my neck.

“I’m finding it very hard to believe you’re the same person who was just begging me to let them cum in my mouth a couple of days ago” I say, becoming breathless as he works his tongue to create a hickey on my neck and collarbone.

I bundle his shirt in my hands, even only by kissing me, I can feel his hardness pressing against the inside of my thigh and it only motivates me to move my lower half against it.

It causes him to slightly bite into my neck, releasing a soft moan into my skin. “And now you’re the one pulling me into empty rooms and giving me hickey’s”

“How long do you have to be around him?” He pants into my neck, his right hand still holding my thigh up to his waist and the other pulling me in closer to the edge of the desk.

“Not for long, I’m trying anything to get rid of him. But he can’t take a fucking hint” I roll my eyes thinking about Noah.

“I’ve been thinking about you… a lot” He reaches into his bag and the small light coming through the windows lets me know that it’s one of his black shirts.

“I know how much you like to sleep in them and I like knowing that you like wearing my clothes and that they help you sleep” Even in the dark room I can feel him looking into my eyes.

I swallow thickly, looking at the shirt that smells as good as he does. Thinking about how easy it was for me to fall asleep when he’s there, and how he wakes up lying on top of me and how I don’t mind it.

“Alessio…” I want to say it, I want to tell him that he makes it easier for me to sleep than those shitty pills that didn’t do anything but give me a headache but I can’t.

“Yes Honey?” He lifts my chin, I can feel his lips brushing against mine.

“Please tell me that us isn’t your father’s office” I can see the large shelf of files with the windows light and the brown chair that looks oddly familiar.

“He… left and told me to fix some of the files for him and I didn’t want to keep you waiting.. so I asked you to meet me in here” He explains and I get off of the desk and turn on the light, seeing that we just made out on Carter’s desk.

“Maybe you’re the bad influence”I look at the pens and cup on the floor that I knocked over when he sat me on the desk.

Then my phone rang when I sat in his father’s chair. I looked to see who had called me and it was my father who had been ignoring my calls since I tried to call him the day Grandma told me about the marriage.

I never wanted to ask my father for help but he had a lot of connections that could get me out of this stupid situation.

“Nice for you to finally pick up, did you forget you had a daughter?” I turn the chair around, facing the blinds and wait for my father to speak.

“Is there a point to your call Honey?” His voice is cold when he speaks to me, it’s like my inner child’s heart hurts whenever I hear his tone.

“I need the number of the lawyer who works for your company because if you haven’t heard your mother in law basically just gave away her only grandchild for money” I wait for his answer.

A little part of me kinda hopes that he actually cares this time and will react like a caring and loving father would, but then I remember my father is neither of those things.

“It’s between you and your Grandma so figure it out, do not bring me into this Honey. I don’t need anything coming back and blowing up and ruining my company’s name” When I hear the click of the phone and the call go silent, I can’t even hide the level of hurt I feel in my chest.

“Honey? What happened” Alessio comes in front of me, worry fills his eyes as I try to stop tears from filling mine. “Talk to me”

A stupid company is more important to him than his own fucking daughter?

I turn my head to the side and stand up abruptly, and stuff my phone into my bag along with Alessio’s shirt.

I was going to have to get out of this myself, I didn’t know how but if that meant playing along in Noah’s little game for however long he needed me to, then so be it. But I wasn’t going to let my Grandma have this, I wasn’t going to let her have a single dollar he promised her.

“You should go to your partner before she pops a vessel searching for you and I need to get back to the asshole who threatens his way into anything” I couldn’t stop myself before I said the last part and that catches Alessio’s attention more than anything I said.

“Threatens? Did he threaten you? What did he say? Did he hurt you?” Alessio takes my face into his hands and searches around my face.

“Don’t worry, he didn’t hurt me, though I did hurt him. Just let me handle him and you go finish these last few days with the obsessed creature probably waiting for you outside your next lecture” He doesn’t laugh at my next joke because he’s serious.

“I said don’t worry.”

“You can’t tell me not to worry when you said he’s threaten you Honey, did he touch you?”—

“Madelyn isn’t the only one who’s suspicious about us, he only threatened to tell your father about us if I didn’t act like his wife for a while that’s it, I’m only doing this until he shows me the contract” I feel his thumb begin to stroke my cheek.

“If he touches you Honey, I don’t care what he tells my father. I won’t hesitate to break his jaw.”

Holy fuck.

It had taken me to tell her that my father needed me in his office to work on some files to get her to leave the library and go off somewhere.

I didn’t like to lie to people, but Madelyn was glued to me all day, and the only thing she spoke about instead of her project was Honey.

She was able to describe everything about Honey’s appearance, almost better than me.

I shut the door to my father’s office almost to hard that it startles the assistant walking down the hall, I try to take a deep breath but thinking about earlier makes me grip the door knob.

Seeing that guy touch her thigh earlier and then to hear that he’s threatening her and possibly wants more from her than just to make her pretend to be his wife for his sick amusement makes my jaw tighten and my eyes close in anger.

I lean my head against the door, I know she said she could handle herself and I don’t doubt that, but my gut was telling me to go to her, actually all of me was telling me to go to her, my heart, my brain, my entire body.

Especially after seeing her face when she was on the phone with her father. I hated to see her like that, even though she hid it so well, whatever he told her hurt her.

I locked my father’s office and went straight for her room, it was incredibly late so no one would be wandering the halls and see me.

I thanked myself for listening to my gut to check on her, because what I saw when I got closer to her door only made me go from worried and concerned to me balling my fist.

Whatever his name was, was standing with one of his hands on Honey’s hips and the other going up her skirt on her thigh but slowly inching further up and he was leaning in for a kiss and what made my sudden rush of anger worse was that she wasn’t pushing away.

Without thinking, my fist was going across his jaw, knocking him over to the floor and slamming my fist into his face two more times before I turned to see Honey looking at the scene with wide eyes.

All I could see was the image of how close he was to her, and his hands on her and it only pissed me off further.

The guy was knocked unconscious but the loud thud he made caused someone to hurry and open their door but Honey pulled me into her before they could see us.

• Here’s a double update ❤️

chapt 47 • Beautiful

warnings for this chapter are only the constant POV switches & all the good stuff.

What the fuck just happened?

After I left Alessio, I went to find Noah and I found him making out with some random girl I had never seen before in the far back corners of the hall.

Some fucking husband he would be, right?

I wasn’t upset or mad or anything but again I wanted to play along in his little game so I pretended to be pissed at him.

Walking away and acting as if seeing his disgusting lips on someone else truly bothered me. Being the gentleman he is, he grabbed my wrist and pinned me to the wall beside my door, touching me and telling me that I was finally acting like his true wife.

That’s when he was going in to kiss me, and I blinked and the next second, Noah was being knocked unconscious with a bloody nose and his jaw being cracked by Alessio’s fist.

And I would be lying if I said it wasn’t hot, it was beyond that.

Seeing how his muscles strained in his shirt as he repeatedly punched Noah in the face, how his hair fell over his forehead, and his heavy grunting.

But then I heard someone’s door open and managed to pull Alessio into my room only for him to slam my door shut. Both of his hands were placed on either side of my head.

I didn’t know what to think or say right now.

I didn’t say anything for a while, I was only staring at her while she did the same to me. In her eyes, it was like Honey couldn’t tell whether to be turned on or mad right now.

Was this her idea of handling it? Letting him touch her and kiss her?

“You make my mind race, you know that? I can’t even think straight because of you” The adrenaline in my body continues to pump my heart at a fast race.

I didn’t even want to think about what would’ve happened if I didn’t listen to my gut.

“That makes two of us” She mutters, her arms are crossed and I look at her neck where I left my hickey earlier, then the view of the collar of her shirt which allowed me to see the same material she told me someone gifted her.

“Was he the one who gifted that to you?” She notices what I’m talking about, “Were you going to wear it for him?” I drop my forehead against hers, raising her chin with my index finger.

“Honey, look at me and tell me you weren’t going to wear this for him. That you weren’t going to let him kiss you, that if I hadn’t come and stopped him you were going to push him away” Our lips were close, and she reeled her bottom lip between her teeth before she said something.

“What did I tell you about being jealous of him? It’s a waste of time” She crosses her arms, leaning further into the door, not helping the fact that I want nothing more than to go back out there and continue punching his face in until I feel he’s had enough.

“I’m not jealous of him, I’m jealous at the fact that he was all over you and you weren’t doing anything to stop him” I admit, hating the fact that he was a second away from kissing her.

“It’s not like you haven’t been doing the same, I’m pretty sure your new partner is more than satisfied that she gets to hang on your arm all day” The same expression in my eyes washes over hers and I realize that Honey’s jealous.

“But as you said, I’m not jealous of her, I could never be but I am jealous of the fact that the both of you don’t have to hide from everyone” She turns her head to the left, muttering words underneath her breath.

Honey Rose is jealous because she wants to be seen with me. My heart jumped in my chest.

“Sneaking around is fun and all but sometimes I just want to show everyone who gets you like this” She wraps my tie around her hand, pulling me down to her height, lips connecting with mine.

Her hand travels down my shirt and over the tent in my slacks, she squeezes me and I release a groan into her mouth.

She smiles against my lips, her tongue running over my bottom lip. Setting my face and body ablaze with a simple touch.

Her touch would be the death of me— Everything about her would be the death of me.

Honey reaches for my belt, quickly unbuckling it and I help her by pulling the black, leather belt from the loops in one swift pull.

She backs me up until I fall onto her bed, she pushes her skirt down before climbing on top of me.

“I’m not one to get jealous, but something about you makes me feel things I can’t express, and I hate how she looks at you. Like you’re going to do everything you do with me but with her” She doesn’t sit fully on my lap, but I want her to.

“But this look in your eye only happens when you’re around me, isn’t that right?” She leans towards my face, making me nod my head in an instant, her body and lips teasing me.

“Only with you” I don’t even recognize my voice, it starts to come out with heavy breaths, especially when she starts to unbutton my shirt.

Leaving it open, my body reacts the way it always does when she admires my body, tracing every inch with her eyes as I do when looking at her.

My mind wraps my head when she said I make her feel things she can’t express, and the hope in me returns that she might have feelings for me that are beyond sex but doesn’t know how to show them.

“I think we should remind each other of how good we make each other feel. How we’ve done nothing but ruin anyone else for each other” She starts at the weak spot on my neck, my eyes shut in an instant and my mouth suddenly grows dry when I feel her moving down against me.

She then creates hickey’s on my favorite spots, before moving down onto the pillow I placed for her knees.

She removed my dick that was only this hard for her and her only before leaving a kiss at the tip as she always does before she puts me in her mouth.

It drives me insane when she does that, toying with me by kissing all around my shaft before fully taking me down her throat.

I tug at my hair, her mouth always felt so good, her throat always took me so well.

I bit my lip watching her, she was something special, and I couldn’t believe she was making me feel like this out of everyone she could possibly have.

“I want to make you cum while you look how good I look for you.”

I glance down at what she’s wearing, her see-through bra which didn’t hide the fact she was turned on right now, her nipples hard against the material.

Then I remember who bought it for her.

In the blink of my eyes, I was being pulled up and my back was being met with my soft, velvet red sheets. Alessio fixed himself and zipped up his pants but that wasn’t stopping the aching bulge in his pants.

He got on top of me, eyes mixing in the same jealousy as before as if he remembered catching too close to me for his liking.

“Playing his game or not” He stops me from trying to take off the lingerie Noah sent me.

“I should be the only one able to see you like this. I don’t want you to take it off” He pins both of my hands above my head and leans closer lips, brushing his against mine, over my cheek before laying a kiss and going to my ear.

“I want to fuck you while you wear his gift” He made sure to be close to my ear so I heard the seriousness in his voice and I couldn’t help but moan at his words.

Alessio fucking Rivers cussed. I think I’m going to die.

His knee between my thighs was not helping as he applied delicious pressure over my soaked underwear, “I want to fuck you in something that he could only dream about seeing you in”

“I’ll be sure to tell him how beautiful you looked in it and how good you felt” His voice grew deeper and hotter with each word.

Soon after, I felt the cool metal of his three rings against my throat, the grip was gentle and yet it had me wanting to be on my knees begging for him.

“Alessio, I need you” I lightly trail my nails inside of his unbuttoned shirt, on his back.

“Oh I know you do, but I can’t be the only one who sees how beautiful you look right now. I want you to see for yourself” He presses a kiss on my forehead before he’s lifting me into his arms and walking inside my bathroom.

He placed me onto my feet, then sat down on the carpet in front of the sink, facing me before taking one of my legs and it on his shoulder.

“You’re so wet, tell me who made you this wet. Was it him?” I felt his lips begin to kiss and suck the inside of my thigh, all while he was looking at me through his glasses.

Eyes that couldn’t even look at me for more than a second the first time we met, were now staring at me while he was getting ready to fuck me using his tongue all while telling me how beautiful I am.

The word beautiful did something to me, I was only ever referred to as hot, never beautiful, he never failed to remind me that he thought I was beautiful, a word I have never been described as.

“No, it’s you who makes me this wet” I grab onto his shoulder for support as he inches closer to my clothed pussy which aches for him.

Alessio pressed a kiss over the underwear, before moving it to the side and letting my wetness cover his tongue and fingers, making me throw my head back and call out his name.

He squeezed my thigh, “Do you remember how you tortured me? I love begging for you Honey, I would beg you for the rest of my life, but I love hearing you beg even more”

“Look at yourself in the mirror and close your eyes, I need you to see how I see you” He makes sure my leg stays put on his shoulder before using his tongue to run through my folds.

I use my other hand to grip his hair and the other hand switches from his shoulder to the counter.

His index and middle fingers enter me, while his tongue laps at my clit, at a slow pace that begins to pick up as my hips move on their own.

“I love how good you taste” The vibrations of his voice are enough to make my eyes flutter shut but I quickly open them as he slows down.

I don’t know what happened to the stuttering mess of the boy who couldn’t even form a full sentence a couple of months ago, but I can’t help but want more of both sides of him.

“Alessio… I want you to fuck me… please” Now I was the one begging, though his tongue felt heavenly, I wanted to watch in the mirror as he fucked me from behind.

The hickeys on my neck, and my breast, disappearing into the lingerie Noah bought me only told me how pissed he was when he saw us together. My skin wasn’t the only one littered with marks, his neck, collarbone, and parts of his abs were decorated with my lips.

He curled his fingers once more before getting up, I was panting as if I had just run an entire marathon.

He went behind me, making my back hit his chest. Close to my ear as he brought the two fingers that were just inside of me and dragged them down my chest and over my chest.

“You want me to fuck you?” I don’t let a second pass before I say yes like a desperate bitch.

“Then I want you to watch me fuck you, I want you to see all the pretty faces when I do” He gathered my hair and moved it to the side so he had access to my left ear.

“Can you do that for me? Can you keep your eyes open and watch me fuck you like a good girl?” He says while keeping eye contact with me through the mirror and my legs begin to shake.

Who is this man? Because this cannot be Alessio.

I almost collapsed when he called me a good girl, my nipples were poking through the fabric of the bra and my wetness only glided down my thighs.

“I can… please fuck me… I need you” I feel him pushing down his pants, his hard dick pressing against my ass, “Fuck, please. Don’t you want to watch me too?”

“I can never take my eyes off of you” He guides his tip through my folds, collecting my wetness and spreading it along his dick before pushing the tip in, all while watching me.

“Oh my..” My words are lost when he pushes all the way into me, my walls automatically clenching down around him, pulsing hard as he waits a few seconds, letting me get used to his size.

I look at myself in the mirror, seeing how much I’m struggling trying to keep my eyes open and as my mouth drops open into an O shape.

I move my eyes to him, he curses underneath his breath and I gaze as he takes a breath, getting used to how tight I become around him.

He gathers my hair in his hand, pulling my head back, before thrusting into me, the sound of my ass slapping against his pelvis. His other hand  held my waist.

“So fucking good” I barely manage those words out as I feel him deeper and deeper each time he pulls out and slams back into me, this time it isn’t gentle or slow and caring, it’s rough, hot, and fast.

In the mirror I can see how he looks down and sees himself entering me, his muscles flexing as he makes sure to thrust into me hard.

“He could never make you feel like this, just like no one can make me feel like this. You ruined everyone for me the second you kissed me” Every time he talks he makes sure we’re both looking into each other’s eyes through the glass.

He only continues to hit my spot, it makes me a moaning mess, from small “more” or whines for him to keep going and him reassuring me that he wasn’t planning on stopping, he made my eyes roll back, my head filled with absolutely nothing.

I couldn’t even keep myself for long, my legs were getting close to giving out and my arms were already ready to let go of the counter but he kept me still.

“Keep going until I cum, I want to cum for you so fucking badly” I felt his lips leaving kisses on my back and shoulders, nothing about how he was fucking me was soft but yet his kisses were.

I felt a slap on my ass and that made me clench down onto him repeatedly, my body began to feel even more dead set on coming around him, feeling how his body tenses when he’s close and the face he makes when he’s on the brink.

“I’ll let you cum when you say it, tell me you’re beautiful and I’ll make you cum” He made sure I was looking at myself in the mirror, “I want to hear you say it”

Never once in my life had I ever called myself beautiful because I hadn’t believed it but staring at the both of us, I was starting to.

Sweat beaded on his chest, and the sweat on his forehead made his hair stick to his forehead. His muscles flexed over and over with each powerful thrust of his hips, hitting deeper and deeper inside of me each time.

Sweat also closed my chest, my thighs were being slicked in my arousal that ran down the inside of my thighs. My hair was being pulled back by his fist so I could see my face, lips a new shade of red, and my skin littered with his hickey’s.

My breast was still not free from the lingerie but I could see my nipples poking through the see-through material. I looked over at my tattoos, each one of them holding an even more reckless decision than the next.

My cheeks were flustered from all the things he said to me, but looking at myself… I never thought that I could ever look at myself and say the next words that were to come.

“I’m… beautiful” The second the words left my lips, a tear slid down my cheek, it wasn’t hard to believe this time, because I truly meant it.

It was like a younger part of me that felt as if I wasn’t worthy or would ever hear myself say those words and smiled deep within me.

I’m beautiful.

He smiled behind me, “Yes you are” He kissed the side of my cheek, now joining his hand in mine.

“Now I’ll let you cum, my beautiful, beautiful girl” Another tear slipped from my eyes when he said that, picking up the pace, my climax only became stronger.

His moans turned into soft whimpers and mixed in with mine as I came around him and he came at the same time I did.

My mind was still in a spiral, my legs were ready to give out that same second we found our release before he scooped me into his arms.

He continued to hold me, no words were being said and I let my arms go around his neck while he bent down and turned on a bath for me.

Turned off the tab when it was full enough and got in with me, letting my body that I knew would be sore tomorrow rest on his.

He turned my chin, lightly kissing my lips and then my forehead and I began to grow tired. My eyes finally closed for the day as I felt him clean my body and his with my body wash.

And the only thing on my mind was his words.

“My beautiful, beautiful girl.”

• Now I go and pretend as if I didn’t just write this. 

❤️.

chapt 48 • Acceptance

I feel slightly sore from yesterday but Alessio helps.

I feel the scented oil pour on the back of my thighs and back, and his large and soft hands begin to massage my body.

“Is this good?” He asks while his hand’s massage from my back, down to my waist and thighs.

I can’t even manage a word and only respond with a short moan.

Yesterday still felt like a dream that I wouldn’t mind reliving over and over again, I find myself daydreaming about every part of it constantly.

After we finished, I only remember being engulfed in a warm bath and waking up underneath the sheets with my body pressed against Alessio’s sleeping figure, my head buried in his neck, and my leg resting loosely over his waist.

When he’s finished giving me the amazing massage that almost made me fall back asleep, I turn onto my back on the towel laying on my bed.

“Did that help?” He continued to massage my thighs, making sure he ended the soreness that spread along my lower body.

“It would help even more if you were holding me” I sat up on the bed, his eyes caught a glance of my bare nipples and body and the blush I missed was back in an instant.

“You want me to hold you?” He couldn’t even hide the blissful smile on his face. “Do it like it when I hold you?” he knew the answer, he wanted me to admit something I never had before.

“Maybe I do” I slip his shirt onto my body as he gets on the bed, welcoming me into his arms.

“Maybe I like your arms around me, maybe I like the I feel when you hold me” I feel my heart pick up a few beats and I ignore it, he turns me around so my back hits his chest and his arms wrap around my body and he dips his head into my neck.

I didn’t say it but when he held me I felt… safe like I never have before.

“Well I really like the way I feel when I hold you, and I really like having my arms around you” His breath tickles against the skin of my neck,

“You’re way better at this than I am” I don’t specify what I mean and I don’t know whether I hope he understands or not.

“Honey” He turns my head when I looked down at duvet in my lap, “I want to hear you say it again, same as yesterday”

I know what he means, the image of me telling myself that I’m beautiful all while looking at myself in the mirror clouds my head.

“I’m beautiful” This time I say without hesitation, saying it makes me smile like a child getting the present they’ve begged for.

My smile reflects on his face, “Again” he says, drawing closer and closer to my lips.

“I’m beautiful, satisfied?” I find myself wanting to kiss him more than anything right now.

“You are so beautiful” He finally gives me the kiss that I’ve been waiting for.

It’s not like our usual ones, this one is slower, softer, but so much more meaningful as if he was trying to tell me something he couldn’t through the kiss.

Something about him never failing to remind me that he thinks I’m beautiful makes my face heat and my mind replay the words constantly.

His tongue slipped past my lips and met mine, and he drew me in closer by keeping his hand on the side of my neck, grazing his teeth on my bottom lip. It was clear there was much more to this kiss than I thought.

As he pulled away, I felt my face grow hot, “Every side of you never fails to amaze me” I say.

I managed to forget about Noah and the whole marriage thing up until now.

As soon as Alessio’s left, I grew worried that maybe after Noah took Alessio’s right fist into his jaw that maybe he was already waiting for the next day to come to run straight into Carter’s office.

“How did you get stuck doing this?” I lean against my door frame while Jaxon hands me mail with an amused luck.

“I think she might be warming up to me” He gestures his head towards Adeline who’s watching and waiting for him down the hall.

“She’s bossy and all but she is one blushing mess around me” He sends her a wink and she quickly turns around and it makes him laugh.

“Are you done holding my letters hostage?” I stuck my hand out for my mail and he handed me three envelopes.

I close the door and read the sender of the mail.

One of the letters was sent by that prestigious art university Alessio has been working his ass off to get into.

My face morphs into one of confusion on why they were sending me a letter. I opened it anyways, I didn’t expect anything that was being addressed in the letter.

In the letter the university offered me a full four year scholarship due to the recognition I’ve received for being Alessio’s “muse” as they’ve put it and I quote “love for me to bring my talents to their school.”

I wasn’t expecting this at all, this wasn’t even my dream and yet I was smiling like a dumbass for an accomplishment that I didn’t think would ever happen. 

I hurried and grabbed my phone and bag, quickly sending Alessio a text that I was on my way to his room.

I didn’t have time to find any proper shoes so my penguin slippers were going to have to adventure out of my room.

I locked my door and took the other letters with me, way too excited that I was actually accepted into a school and not because I was forced to go or because my father paid to have me accepted.

I was excited to tell Alessio and see if he got accepted as well though I was sure he did, I still made sure no one saw me going to his room and by the time I reached his door, he had already opened the door on the first knock.

I didn’t mean to surprise him the way I did but when I saw the similar letter in his hand and a happy smile on his face and behind those glasses, I enthusiastically jumped into his arms which he instinctively caught me and shut his door.

“Tell me what they said!”“ I wanted to hear him say he got accepted, my sudden burst of energy made him laugh.

“I got accepted” The second the words I was hoping for came from his lips, I let out a quick scream and kissed him before I could even catch myself.

When he put me down, I held up my own acceptance letter to his face and his expression turned into one of something I had never seen in my life.

“You’re not the only one who was recognized for their talents—” I get cut off by another kiss, this one feels like the one from this morning.

“I mean I wasn’t expecting it and I was kinda liking the whole being your model thing but I didn’t think they’d actually consider me” I reread the paper to make sure I didn’t dream about them accepting me.

“Of course they considered you Honey, I wouldn’t have this letter in my hand if it wasn’t for you. You deserve this more than I do, they gave us the full four year scholarship because of your idea” His dimpled smile comes out to play.

“If it wasn’t for you, I don’t think they would’ve just accepted me, let alone offered to pay for all my student expenses… Thank you Honey…” He tilts my head up and leans down to make sure I hear him thanking me.

“I should be thanking you, if it wasn’t for picking me… I’d still be wondering what the hell I am going to do with my life after this. So thank you Alessio Rivers” I shove his shoulder and we sit on his bed together.

We sat in silence for a while, only looking at each other, his lips parted as if he wanted to say something but he kept it to himself and looked at the other envelopes in my hand.

“Did they send you more information about your scholarship?” He tore my attention to the letters in my hand.

“I actually haven’t looked at these” I open the first one, addressed to me but I can’t see who it’s from until I open the folded letter.

When I read the name at the top, my heart stops, I can’t feel air in my lungs and I can’t even read her name without feeling tears build in my eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I feel Alessio’s hand on my shoulder but it feels like I’m in shock when I read my mother’s name, a letter written by her only addressed to me. “Who’s it from?”

“My Mother..”

• This chapter is short so I decided to give you guys another double update instead of leaving you on a cliff hanger even though I debated on it.

chapt 49 • Her Final Letter & The Truth

warnings - this chapter talks about s**cide & overd*se  & depression (if any of these triggers you, I recommend scrolling until you see an bold X and stop reading and scroll past the next parts until you find the text in Italics that looks like this. )

“I um… I don’t think I can read it..” I feel like an oncoming panic attack is building its way slowly through my body, I can’t even look past her name.

I then feel a comforting hand on my lower back and his body moves closer to mine, “Breath, you need to breathe Honey” he rubs my lower back in circles, calming the nerves slightly.

Right now he’s making me feel like I can tell him anything and finally stop keeping everything inside, I trust him right now and I was still hoping I wouldn’t regret telling him all of this.

“My mother she… she died when I was little so I don’t have a lot of memories about her. Only that she loved paintings, she was fascinated with butterflies, and that she was treated poorly by everyone in her life… and in more ways than one we are alike” I dig in my bag for the small photo of my mother that I keep with me and I show Alessio.

“She was more than beautiful… but she didn’t think of that of herself” I smile at the photo and it drops when I think about my mother’s life.

“I don’t… I don’t like to talk about how she um, how she died because it’s hard to think about..” The tear built up in my eyes, lips down my cheek and onto my lap.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to… you can read the letter and talk about it when you’re ready” His hand falls onto my thigh, his thumb reassuring me.

“No, I’ve spent so long trying to ignore it, and I’ve never once talked about it unless I was yelling at my father or grandma for trying to pretend they weren’t the main reasons for it” I set the letter aside and took a deep breath.

Alessio takes my hand, “I’m here” it causes me to open my eyes, his eyes tell me he’s going to listen to everything I have to say and be there when I need him.

I haven’t spoken to anyone about my mother, he would be the first and I should be trying to switch our attention from this and be on a lap and kissing his neck and wanting to forget about this but instead, I don’t want to.

I actually want to tell someone, tell someone something that pains me to even think about and I want that someone to be him.

“I don’t know all of the story but my mother suffered from severe depression, we both suffer from the same condition which caused my Grandma to put us on these pills which don’t do any good and make you feel like shit about yourself and cause you to lose sleep” I look down at my lap, my hand in his and I begin to mess with his rings as the lump in my throat slowly builds.

He lifts the bottle from my lap, “Honey… these are almost empty… are you taking them?”

I feel afraid to answer, maybe he’ll judge me without even knowing why I’ll take them and think of me differently.

“I started taking them again after the wedding… after my Grandma and I got into a fight and she said some things I can never forget, that’s why I’ve been more… hyper than usual because I haven’t taken them in so long they make everything worse” I feel disappointment fill my entire body like I just want to disappear right now.

“Promise me that you won’t take these ever again, that if you’re having trouble sleeping that you’ll come to me and I’ll help. Look at me and promise me that you’ll never touch these again” I didn’t expect him to say this, I expected him to tell me what everyone else does, that I’m just some helpless person who needs pills to help her.

“You’re not going to ask why I take them?” I stare into his eyes, and he strokes my cheek with his thumb and shakes his head.

“I don’t need to know why you take them, I just don’t want you to feel the way they make you feel when you take them. So promise me you won’t take them ever again and you’ll come to me if you need help sleeping and I’ll let you try on all of my shirts until you find the one that makes you fall asleep” He kisses my cheek, a small yet powerful gesture that makes me smile.

“I promise I won’t take them anymore, besides I can’t turn down that offer” I make us laugh and then I hear the pill bottles fall to the floor and I continue telling him about my mother.

X (warning)

“It was worse for my mother, the doctors said she’d take more than the prescribed dose and over time it made her depression worse. I may have been young but I remember that it was the reason that I saw less and less of her and when I did… she’d cry when she saw me and sometimes I thought it was because I thought I did something wrong. Mainly because my Grandma always blamed me for the way she acted..”

More tears start to fall when I talk about my childhood that I never want to go through again.

“My father was the same as my Grandma, always blaming me for something I had no control over. I never really saw him unless he’d come home from work but he hardly spoke to me unless he needed me to move out of his way. It doesn’t affect me now as much as it did when I was younger but my father never hugged me, or we ever have one of those father-daughter bonds” I try and get rid of the painful feeling in my chest but it only grows.

Then a thumb comes up to my face and wipes the fallen tears.

“Whenever my mother got sick, they’d sort of ignored her, and I would stay with her until she got better, father would blame it that he was busy running a company to pay for our lives and my Grandma would only pay attention to him, she’s always been on my father’s side no matter what and now I think it’s because he’s come from a wealthy family just as the guy she’s trying to get me to marry” I’ve realized that my Grandma was a dirty, old gold-digger.

Then I think about the day I never forget, the day that still haunts me day and night. I took out the pills that my Grandma gave me and showed them to him.

X

  (another warning)

“One day my mother wouldn’t open her door, and I sat outside the door all morning to night until my father told me to move and tried to get inside, and when he finally managed to break the lock… I ran into the room and found her passed out on the side of her bed with an empty pill bottle” That’s when I can’t help but let all the tears run down my face, it feels like I’m reliving that same day.

Running over to my mother’s side and asking her to wake up, crying until they took her to the hospital, what hurt even more now is remembering how neither my father nor my Grandma shed a single tear or even held me and told me it was going to be okay.

Alessio quickly brought his arms around me, letting me sob into his neck, “I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve any of that and neither did she”I cried harder when he spoke, it all came rushing back every single moment.

Waiting for the doctor to come and tell us that she was fine and she’d make it but instead, the last time I saw my mother was when she was laying on a hospital bed with her eyes closed and the sound of a flat-lining from the machine tracking her heartbeat.

X (you can continue reading from here)

Alessio lifts my head out from his shirt, wiping my tears, “I know she would be so proud of you, you have to remember just because your father and grandma never once showed they cared, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be happy” he wiped more of my fallen tears.

It’s not that I don’t want to be happy, I do. I want to have and feel what everyone describes love and care like. But I’ve been told for years that the only thing I can feel is sexual attraction and nothing more and who would ever want to be with someone who can’t return the same feelings.

“I want to do this more… talk about my feelings and open up about things that my Grandma told me no one would ever care about” I attempt to dry my eyes but more tears fall, so I look away so he can’t see my cry anymore.

“I’m listening to you, not because I feel like I have to but because I do care and I want to be the person who makes it easy for you to open up,” He tells me, he’s telling the truth and his last sentence makes me think of our “sex and nothing more deal” and then I think about him saying that he cares.

I wipe the tears on my cheek with the back of my hand and grab the letter from the bed, “I guess I should read this now…” I unfold the paper and before I start reading it to myself, Alessio places a kiss on the back of my hand.

Querida mi amor, (Dear my love)

Before I say anything, I want you to know that I love you and I will always love you. That none of what happened is your fault or has to do with you, no matter what they’ve told you.

What she’s put me through felt like hell itself and I know she’s already planned to put you through the same thing, and I know it makes you feel like you deserve it and that everything they make you feel is all you’re ever going to feel because it’s what I feel now.

But it isn’t true, everything they’ve ever said to you, any time they made you cry to yourself silently is far from what you deserve.

I want you to know that you are more than what they’ve told you, you are beautiful and you may look exactly like me and inherited my condition but as someone that is dear to me has told me, it doesn’t define you mi amor.

You are so much more than your condition and it’s not something to be ashamed of.

You might think that all of my life has been hell for me and though it was I found someone who made it heaven.

Someone who loved me knowing about my condition, who didn’t judge me for it and loved me for me and didn’t see me as everyone in my life did. This person is my only true love, someone I’ve sent a letter to as well and someone I will never forget.

He made me happy mi amor, something I never thought I could feel… he made me feel so much that your Grandma told me I wasn’t capable of.

I need you to understand it wasn’t my choice to hide this from you, she had more control over my life than I had thought and if it was up to me, we’d be living a much better life with him than that man who has never once treated you like a daughter.

You might have a lot of questions after you read the next part … and I know you’ll want answers and because I know you’re my daughter, you’ll go out and you’ll find them.

I want you to know the truth, it’s all I ever wanted you to know. When you do go find the answers, I want you to try and understand him, he didn’t have any say in this either and it breaks my heart that he wasn’t the one in your life.

Honey, my lovely girl. I told myself that I would give you everything after I passed, I’ve left everything I’ve ever worked for to you, and it would all be yours the second you were accepted into a university.

I wasn’t the best daughter in the world, I did things that made your Grandma send me to the same academy you’re probably at now. She worked at Hartford during the time I attended.

I was always expected to be a well-behaved daughter and I was the complete opposite.

I got into trouble more times than I could count, I made her look terrible which caused her to not only lose her spot on the academy’s council but she never failed to remind me that I was an embarrassment to her.

Without her there to be watching over my back, I continued to act out as she would call it. And I wasn’t the only one, never in my life did I think I could find someone who understood me the way he did.

Many would say we were a terrible pick for each other, at first we hated each other and did everything to get kicked out until we didn’t hate each other anymore and he took the time to listen and be there for me in ways not even my own mother was.

He faced problems with his parents as well, just like my mother, his parents only cared about their reputation and we weren’t helping with that.

I spent four years of my life at Hartford with him and over those times… I grew to find myself deeply in love with him. It took time but he waited and understood that it would take time for me to be able to say those words with him and the day I said it back… was the same day we found out I was pregnant with you.

We were excited until we thought about our parents and the moment I told my mother, she ripped every inch of excitement from us and replaced it with panic.

His parents weren’t happy about it either, they decided to keep us apart, and my mother would rather drop dead than be seen to have people see her daughter without a father.

So she found a rich family who was looking for a wife for their son. The second they showed her the amount of money they’d be willing to give her during the time of the marriage, she signed the paper as quickly as she could before I even got to say anything.

Before I knew it… I was meeting the man who you now call your father saying I do not because he loved me but because he needed a wife to take over his father’s company.

Before you turn over this paper, remember that I’m so proud of you and I know that if you’re reading this, you’ve been accepted into a university and you’re going to do such wonderful things.

The rest of the letter was telling me to that she loved me and to turn over the letter but I don’t think I can.

I was feeling so much, firstly reading about my mother’s life and what Grandma has done, to find out someone was there to make her happy, and to find out that I’ve been calling a stranger my father this entire time.

“I-I can’t… I can’t do it” My voice is breathless and low and somehow Alessio manages to hear me and tells me that it’ll be okay and that he’s right here if I need him.

I can’t do it but I want to, I need to know the truth but I was scared that not only would he turn out to be just like my father— whoever I’ve been calling my father but then I remember how my mother described the way he made her feel.

He made her feel love, something we’ve always been told we’d never be able to feel. He was the first person in her life to make her see her nymphomania wasn’t the only thing about her that there was so much more to her.

That thought made me turn over the paper and I couldn’t believe who I was seeing.

At first I thought I was seeing things until  I removed the torn photo from the photo and held it to the photo of my mother and it fit perfectly like a puzzle.

The man in the photo… making my mother smile and feel happy… was the man I had been sharing my life with…

It was Adam.

If you or anyone you know go through any of the topics mentioned in the warnings, just know or show them that you/them are not alone.

& If need guidance please consider sharing or using this link to help.

https://www.mentalhelp.net/depression/hotline/

& if anyone has any links or numbers that would be helpful please share & remind anyone in need of them how truly beautiful and amazing they are ❤️.

chapt 50 • All My Life

My ears were ringing and my head was spinning, I stood up from the bed and I could hear the faint sound of Alessio calling my name but I was only focused on the photo I now taped together.

Adam…

Adam couldn’t be my father… he just couldn’t…

I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that I had been around my real father this entire time and I didn’t even know.

But then it all began to make sense, everything he’s ever said and the person he spoke with so much love about… he was talking about my mother and I didn’t even realize it.

The butterfly photo he let me have, wasn’t painted by a friend he lost, it was painted by my mother, that’s why he said she’d want me to have it.

God how could I not figure it out, maybe because I never thought once about Adam possibly being my real father.

Did he know? And if he did how did he feel? And did he ever think about telling me?

My head started to hurt and I can’t even stop pacing back and forth, I don’t know whether to be angry, sad or just scream right now.

“I need… I need to go” I grab my bag in a hurry and leave Alessio’s room, hearing him call my name as soon as I close the door.

My legs move faster than my brain can process, I wanted to walk straight into Adam’s office and ask him so much, like if he was ever planning on telling me and how could he not tell me or say anything but he wouldn’t be back until tomorrow.

So instead I entered Carter’s office without knocking which got me a glare he was prepared to instruct me to leave but I stopped him.

“You give us emergency reasons to return home and I would like to use one now” Right now I probably wasn’t thinking clearly but I needed to go home and confront the two people who’ve lied to me my entire life.

“How long do you plan on staying?” He gets out a document and starts signing random areas.

“I won’t be there long, I’ll be back sooner than expected” He looks up for a second, then continues to sign and ask me to finish signing.

“I’ll call your Grandma and ask her to send a driver to take you to the airport, “You should be expected to be back by tomorrow, the time is up to when you decide you leave” He started dialing numbers before speaking to my Grandma.

“You should start gathering anything you’re taking, she’ll send a driver for you shortly” He hung up the phone and I walk out of his office.

Then it all hit me at once.

I can’t do this.

So I went back to Alessio’s room to ask him something that I prepared myself for him to say no to.

“There’s a lot I don’t understand right now and if I’m alone during all of this… I’m afraid I’ll break our promise. I can’t do this alone” I was going to need him after I found out the truth.

“Alessio I— I need you…”

She said she needs me.

She fucking needs me!

I think my heart exploded because I was stuck standing like an idiot for the next two minutes.

“Alessio?…” Her sweet voice called my name and I couldn’t control myself when I lifted her into my arms, her legs instinctively wrapped around my waist and I placed my forehead against hers.

“I’ll be there for you… with you” I whisper against her lips and she doesn’t say anything, nothing passes through her lips but heavy breaths.

When Honey told me she got accepted into the same university I did, and she was planning to attend, I was far beyond the words excited, elated, and thrilled.

I did know they’d consider her, especially after her last idea which was the entire reason they finalized my application. The reports I got back were praising her in more ways than one, they saw everything I saw in Honey, from flawless beauty to a talented person and creative mind.

She trusted me enough to tell me about her mother, and all the things they both had to endure of the cruel and unfair treatment of her Grandma and father who she says she won’t tell about the application until she finishes her schooling here.

Seeing her cry was a sight I never wanted to see again, so many tears that have been kept sealed, finally breaking through and I was the first person to finally see her vulnerable something I knew she was scared of being around anyone.

My feelings have done nothing but grow for her, I know she’s scared that I’ll end up judging her the way she’s used to and I want to change that.

Not only was I happy she was able to tell me about the pills but I was also afraid of the things she might’ve thought about herself while taking them.

I didn’t ask her what they were for, and nor did I look when she ran off.

It’s not that I didn’t want to know.

I just wanted her to tell me on her own, I’ve gained her trust and I wasn’t going to do anything to ruin something she’s not used to giving people.

I was going to be there, whatever she read in that letter about her mother and whatever she was going back home for, I was going to allow her to use my shoulder to cry on and hold her when she needed and wanted me to.

I’d do anything to see Honey smile.

“You can stay here for tonight since the driver won’t be here until tomorrow morning. I’ll ask my father if I can visit my mother and ask her if we can stay with her until you’re ready to come back” I go into my dresser and get her one of my freshly washed shirts.

“Are you sure she’ll let me stay? I mean I know how your father is.”

“My mother is really fond of you… she asks me to tell you to come to visit with us on one of the holiday breaks,” I tell her as she makes herself comfortable in bed.

My mother was different from my father, she didn’t mind that I wanted to go to a different university than the one that my father had originally planned, she liked it when I would paint for her or make sculptures, she keeps a lot of them around the house.

I stop talking about my mother as soon as she starts messing with the loose string at the end of my shirt and now I feel like a terrible person.

“I’m stupid, I shouldn’t have said anything, especially after what you told”—

“Don’t feel bad, it’s not that I feel sad about your relationship with your mother, I just wish I had a long relationship with mine” Her bottom lip slightly twitches into a pout, the sadness regaining its shadow in her eyes.

“I’m sure she would’ve loved to be here with you now, holding your hand and telling you how proud she is of you. But she is here Honey and I know she’s watching over you, really proud of who you’re becoming” I use the pad of my thumb to rub over the back of her hand.

“If she were here… she would’ve liked you, a lot.”

While we were on the plane, I was finally able to open the last letter.

I read this one carefully because not only had it come with information about my mother’s will but it also came with my Grandma’s medical records.

I read about her medical records first, it surprised me more than I could have imagined, reading the true reason Grandma started these harsh therapies.

Not because she suffered from a long life of a heart disease.

It was because she shared the same condition mother and I faced.

She tried everything to get rid of it, but instead, she was left with the heart disease she suffered from now which left her in a great amount of debt.

With that she took it out all on my mother, shaming her for the same things she suffered from and could not get out of.

Forced her to marry someone for money that she thought would be hers but instead, the money went to my mother who never spent a single dollar and left it all to me.

When I read the last part, I almost gasped far too loud to wake Alessio from his nap.

His head was resting on my shoulder the entire time and his right hand was in between my thighs and though this wasn’t the time or place, it didn’t help me not think about being his first on a plane.

I distracted myself by continuing to read the papers, the amount of money my mother left for me would pay for my life.

I still couldn’t believe Grandma was planning to do the same thing she had done with my mother with me.

It was all too much for me to think about.

I put away the letters as we got off the plane and got into the driver’s car.

At first, I did this out of anger but nerves took over, how was I supposed to confront the two most terrible people in my life?

I did know after today, I would never speak to or see either of them again. Move on with my life and be successful the way my mother and I know I can be.

The driver turned into the gates of my home, as if he could sense it Alessio’s hand between my thigh gave me a reassuring squeeze that he was here for me.

What made it even better was the surprising forehead kiss he left me with before he went around and opened the door for me.

The door opened and my face was burning hot, for the past few days, the small yet powerful gestures he’s been giving me, have been making my face burn up the same ways he does.

I almost forgot why we came here for a second.

Before the driver can pull off, I ask her to wait so that I wouldn’t take long. Alessio gives her his mother’s address so she can input it into the GPS.

“You should stay out here” I broke our long silence since the plane ride. “If she sees us together after this, she’s definitely not going to hesitate and call your father”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t care if he finds out? I don’t care if he sees us together for his own eyes and doesn’t approve”  His hand finds mine as we stand outside the door.

“I know what I want Honey, and that’s you” I grow silent again, turning away and facing the door again.

I knocked on the door and waited for someone to open it, the last person I expected to open the door was the woman I thought would be on a plane off to somewhere searching for a new husband.

“Honey?” Celeste’s tone suggested that she didn’t expect me to be knocking on the door.

“Are they both here?” I didn’t have time to question why she was still here even after all I’d told her, and she points to the living room.

She looks up to Alessio, who gives her a small greeting as we enter.

“Who is it?” The man I am proud to no longer call my father says, his tone is hard and full of anger.

“We need to talk,” I say when I enter, his head snaps up from being hidden behind his hands when he hears my voice and my Grandma who sits on the chair beside him eyes me.

They both then look at Alessio and then at his hand holding mine and if her eyes could speak for her, they’d be quick to let out a judge mental remark.

What catches my eye, are the divorce papers sitting on the table in front of my father.

Celeste enters the room and goes to stand beside the empty couch.

“Honey? Why did you come here? And what are you doing holding his hand?” Grandma stands, she looks worse and worse every time I see her.

“You’ve both done nothing but lie to me all of my life and you’re worried about me holding his hand?” I lift the envelopes in my right hand and she reads who they’re from.

“What are you going on about now?” The man I should have never called my father says, clearly annoyed.

“I can’t believe you’re going to sit there and act like I didn’t just read her telling me that not only have you shamed the both of us all of our lives for something we couldn’t help, something that you have as well. You have the same condition as us, and because no amount of treatments could help, you took it out on us” She goes to defend herself but I don’t let her get a word out.

“And not only did you lie about that, but you also lied to me and took any opportunity of me having a real father, a father who actually loves me!” I look at him, sitting on the couch as if what I just said didn’t affect him in any way.

“I could’ve had a father who read to me at night or stayed in my bed when I had nightmares, told me that he was proud of me, hugged me when I got hurt, and told me that he loved me” I squeeze Alessio’s hand a bit and he only runs his thumb over my knuckles.

“You took all of that away from me because of money? How fucking sick and twisted could you possibly be?” My voice gets louder and my chest feels like it could explode at any second with all the emotions building up inside.

“You have no right to speak to me like that”—

“I understand that I’m not your daughter, that you never loved me or my mother, but that didn’t mean you could just treat us like fucking shit” I turn my attention to the man sitting on the couch, looking at me with a blank stare.

“I’ve gone my entire life thinking it was me, that I was the reason my father didn’t love me, that there was something wrong with me, that you hated me but it wasn’t me, and even though you treated me like worthless trash, it’s not your fault either. It’s hers” I stop looking at him and look at my Grandma.

“Do you understand how fucking miserable you’ve made my life? Everything you’ve ever said to me has ruined any possibility of me having a remotely good life. Every time you told me how disgusting you thought it was when I couldn’t control my urges, how filthy you told me I was. That no one could ever love me because of it” My hand slips out of Alessio’s before he has a chance to grab it again.

Right now I had forgotten that he was beside me and that Celeste was on the other side of the room. All I saw was her and everything she’s ever done to me.

“Do you know how fucking hard it was being nine years old and trying to be like all the other girls you told me I should be more like? Knowing nothing I did was ever right in your eyes?” I felt tears drip down onto my shirt.

“To watch you not even shed a single tear when they lowered her casket? For you to act as if she wasn’t even a person. Just to find out you used her for money, money that isn’t even yours” I toss the envelope onto her lap, and her face can’t hide the shock and after everything I’ve said, her temper builds up even more.

“This can’t be true,” She says to herself, “She’s left everything to you after all I’ve done for her!”

She truly has lost her mind.

“After all you’ve done? Ruin her chances at true happiness, take the only man she’s ever loved with away from her, and made sure to tell her how much of a disappointment of a daughter she was and contributed to her death. And you thought she was going to leave you a penny” I watch as she places her old and wrinkly hand over her mouth.

My words don’t help and she tears the paper in front of me, “You don’t deserve any of it! You’re going to waste all of it on your pathetic life”

I knew she was going to rip it, so I made sure to show her the copy and not the original.

“I was going to use it to pay for the four-year university I was just accepted to but then I remembered that they offered to pay for all of my student expenses so I don’t have to waste anything until after I graduate” The tears on my face dry, as I feel slightly better when I tell her about my accomplishment.

“Get out, get out of my house!” Her voice echos throughout the house.

“You’ll never have anyone! You’re going to be lonely and miserable all of your life and that’s not going to be my fault, it’s going to be your fault!” She spits and I can’t listen to her any longer and I storm out of the house, leaving them both behind.

It felt so good to close a chapter that has torn me apart for so long.

“I hope you don’t think you’ll ever get more than she’s giving you, she will never return the same feelings for you that you have for her. She’s incapable, she always has been and you’re a fool if you sit around and wait for her” Her Grandma says as Honey slams the front door.

“She could never love anyone, she can’t even love herself. Spare yourself the pain and leave her, I’m sure your parents don’t want you wasting your time on someone like her when you could find yourself someone who isn’t only after one thing.”

I don’t listen to her anymore and I leave the house, but her words play in my head like a broken record.

Incapable of love, incapable of loving herself, after one thing and one thing only.

When I go outside, I notice it’s already begun raining and Honey’s just standing on the doorstep looking at the sky, holding the letter close to her shirt to prevent them from getting wet.

I instantly take off my sweater and place it on her shoulders, she slips both of her arms through and zips up the black sweater.

“I love the rain, I think of it as good luck. When it would rain, my mother would let me help her paint while I sat by a window and listened to the rain. It always rained when she was happy, it reminds me of her” She’s only staring up at the sky, rain pouring down and drenching her hair.

My heart breaks when there’s a tear rolling down her cheek but then my heart fixes itself when she’s smiling.

Such a beautiful smile.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” She’s talking about the sky but I’m not even looking up, I’m only looking at her and she notices and softly laughs.

“Very beautiful” I tilt her chin up and bring my lips to hers as the rain surrounds us and soaks our hair and clothes.

When I pull away, Honey’s cheeks turn a light red just like mine do around her and her Grandma’s words don’t have any meaning to me at all.

I could never leave Honey for someone else, I didn’t want anyone else. Just like I couldn’t think about anyone but her.

I did want her to return the feelings I had for her, but after everything I’d just heard, I knew it wouldn’t be easy for her too.

The lights of the driver’s car remind us that she was waiting for us and Honey hurried into the back seat and apologized for the wet clothes.

Honey perched her elbow on the door and looked outside to watch the rain drizzle, her eyes began to slowly close as the rain pattered softly on the window.

“Thank you… for coming with me.”

And before I knew it, she had fallen asleep and her head found it’s way to my shoulder.

• Thank you so much for 5 million reads ❤️

chapt 51 • Time

Yesterday after we got to Alessio’s house, his mother greeted me with open arms and told us to go upstairs and change out of our wet clothes and join her downstairs for dinner.

We didn’t say anything to each other in the warm shower we took together. Light and soft touches were constantly shared, but that didn’t stop Alessio from leaving trails of kisses on my skin while I washed his hair.

This morning, I was feeling more than I ever had before.

Never once in my life had I had someone willing to be there for me the way he has, even after all that happened yesterday, he was still leaving me with forehead kisses before he went to bring up our breakfast so we could eat in bed.

Alessio’s room was incredibly similar to his room at the academy, but it had more pictures of him as a child and he was adorable.

In one photo he had those really big and round glasses and in the other, he was Harry Potter for Halloween and the facial expression on his face made me laugh the same time he walked into the room with a tray full of food.

“She didn’t know if you liked waffles or pancakes so she made you both” He expects me to be on the bed and places the tray of food down and groans when he sees me looking at his baby photos.

“You looked so cute,” I tell him and he starts to blush, groaning again when I point out his glasses, “Do you still have them?”

“Unfortunately, my mother made me keep them” He sighs, opening the closet and taking out a box from the top shelf, “These aren’t the ones with prescriptions”

I put on the glasses and ask him how I look and he only smiles which makes me smile.

I take off the glasses and he puts them back, we join each other on the bed and begin eating.

I don’t know what I would be doing if Alessio hadn’t come with me yesterday. Whether I’d be pretending it all didn’t mean anything or ignoring that it happened like I usually would.

Even though it was brought up on many occasions yesterday, Alessio hadn’t asked about the type of condition I had, not once.

“They’re my favorite” he cuts the blueberry waffles into smaller pieces, “If you couldn’t tell” He picks up a photo sitting on the drawer beside him.

It was of him at a young age stuffing his face with blueberry waffles, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Why haven’t you asked me anything about yesterday?” I randomly ask after taking a bite out of the waffles.

“Because it’s none of my business, just because I was there doesn’t mean I have the right to know unless you decide you want to tell me,” He says, taking a bite of his food and I feel stuck.

I can only look at him, going to say something but I can’t find any words to put together.

“Please come and visit more!” Alessio’s mother says as the driver parks in front of the house.

We wave her goodbye and I find myself staring out the window the entire ride to the airport.

Even on the plane I still didn’t know how I would bring this up to Adam.

How would I even approach the situation?

“You know you could’ve mentioned to me that you’re my father when I was complaining how shitty my fake one is.”

At the same time, I couldn’t tell if I was relieved of the situation because Adam was the first adult to ever gain my trust and actually listen to me whether it was his job or not. Or if I was mad that maybe he could’ve said something about knowing my mother and build up the news from there.

But every time I tried to get mad at the situation, I just kept getting reminded that my mother loved him and that he made her happy.

Knowing that made it just a bit better for me to have a level head thinking about it.

I just wanted to ask him questions, the millions of questions that haven’t stopped floating in my head since I found out it was him in the photo.

But the question that lingered in my mind was if he thought about me before we met, did he ever think about coming into my life at any point.

I wondered what life would be like if Adam had stayed in my life. How much different I would be and how differently I would see myself and the things that I stay away from.

I smile peeking out the window and thinking about it, there was no doubt in my mind that Adam is a good father, that he would truly be the father that I’d dreamed of having when I was younger.

The first thing I did after getting off the plane and out of the car was head to Adam’s office, after telling Alessio that he could go back to his room and that this was something I wanted to do on my own.

Though I was standing outside of Adam’s office right now for the last four minutes, contemplating how on earth was I even going to bring this up or how this would all play out.

I even brought the photo of them that I taped together. I brought my closed fist up to knock on the door, the second I knocked twice I wanted to leave and walk out before he opened it.

But it was too late for that when the door creaked open and Adam stood there ready to say something to me.

“You know you visit me more often than you did when you were required to” He enters his office, letting me follow in behind him and closing the door.

His remark calms the awkward feeling that I had been building up in my head, “Because I had to, now I want to. Believe it or not, I enjoy coming to your office and making your life a little bit less boring”

I watch him laugh and shake his head at my joke, and then I remember why I was here in the first place.

“Adam… can we talk?” He grows serious, putting down his notepad beside his desk and adjusting his reading glasses.

“Of course we can” He answers, I sit on the end of the couch, my bag with the letters and photos in my lap before speaking.

“I got into a university” I start and a wide smile of joy appears on his face, “I didn’t apply to it but they saw my work with my partner and offered me a four-year scholarship”

“I knew you would be since I found out that your partner was someone like Alessio Rivers. I’m so proud of you” His last sentence makes me blink a few times as if I heard him wrong.

“You’re proud of me?” I was shocked to hear those words that I didn’t even hear him mention Alessio. I wasn’t used to someone being proud of me, mainly because no one ever was.

“I am and you should be proud of yourself too. Two months ago you were telling me you didn’t think you could ever be looked at by a university and now you’re sitting here with a four-year scholarship” His smile beams in the room, and I can tell he means what he says.

Adam was proud of me, and it means even more now that I know the truth.

It was like my inner child was smiling right now.

“Adam… I actually came to talk to you about something my mother told me, well written to me in a letter” I look up from my lap and I see something in his eyes when I mention my mother, and then it changes when I mention the letter.

“She told me about everything my Grandma had done to her after she told me how much she loved me” I take out the letter and mess with it in my hands, “Then she told me about all the things that were taken away from her”

“Her ability to love herself, to love her life, and her ability to truly smile. She told me all of those things were hard for her to find again… until she met you” Then I took out the photo and I handed it to him.

When I look into his eyes, there’s hints of tears building when he takes the photo from me.

“I thought at first maybe you two were good friends and just understood each other well, but then she had your side of the photo taped behind the letter where she told who my real father was” I swallow thickly, seeing his eyes swell with tears cause my own to do the same.

“She went on to tell me that you were her first and only love and that she wished that we could’ve had the life you both envisioned for all of us” Adam can only look at the photo and a tear falls down his cheek onto the photo.

“And I didn’t know how to feel when I flipped over the letter and saw you.”

“I just want to know… if you were ever going to tell me. If you ever thought about saying something every time I walked into this office and sat in front of you and talked about her” I stand from the couch.

“Please believe me, Honey, I wanted to, I wanted nothing more than to tell you the truth and in many ways I didn’t know how to. And I couldn’t, because I made a promise to her that I’d let her tell you through her letter and that she’d be the one to tell you the truth” He finally looks up from the photo.

“I put all the pieces together, when you said you had a friend who you fell in love with but lost her too soon. Then she wrote that she met someone who made her realize that her condition doesn’t define her, the same words you told me…” My voice faltered with each word.

“I meant everything I said Honey, I did love your mother, I still love her to this day. When I saw your name on my list, I thought I was dreaming… that maybe the universe was playing games with me but then you walked into my office and sat down and gave me the same attitude she would… and I knew it wasn’t some game, that I had finally seen my daughter again since she was born” He removed his glasses to stop the tears.

“I sat here and told you what a piece of shit the man I thought was my father was, and you listened and the whole time you knew…” I know he said he couldn’t tell me but it didn’t mean I couldn’t have feel a certain way about it.

“It pissed me off to hear how he treated you, trust me, I wanted nothing more but to tell you and take you away from the both of them. I didn’t want you to go through what she did and that was the hardest part… was to listen to you sit and tear yourself down and say no one loved you because of them when all I wanted to do was to hug and tell you that I love you, because I do Honey”

He loves me. My father was standing here and telling me words that younger me had begged and wished to hear, words that never left the lips of my Grandma.

“I’m sorry… I just need time” I rake a hand through my hair and try to calm my nerves.

“I understand but I do hope you come around. Because I want to know my daughter and I want to make up for all the years that I could’ve been the father you deserved and not one who you were forced to accept” He takes his notepad and scribbles numbers on it.

“It’s not easy for me to just accept… but I do want to get to know you… not as my counselor but as my father” I take the small paper from his hands and put it in my bag before I leave his office.

I did want a relationship with Adam, the relationship I was robbed of because my Grandma saw my mother’s pregnancy as nothing but an opportunity for money.

I know she’d want me to get to know Adam and not blame him for not telling me anything. There was still a lot I didn’t know about my mother and so much he knew that I wanted him to tell me.

I wanted him to tell me about the person my mother truly was, not the version everyone made up.

❤️.

chapt 52 • Selfish Doubts

Waking up with his head lying on my stomach has become a thing since he tossed out my pills and made me promise that I would never take them again.

I haven’t taken them since that day and the side effects haven’t been to pleasing.

I woke up early and showered, which mainly considered cleaning my body at first and then standing underneath the shower head lost in my thoughts.And now I sat by the window and watched the grey sky. Thinking about my conversation with Adam.

I did accept him as my father but he would always be Adam to me, the first person I met who took the time to listen, to understand me.

I was still thinking about going to talk to him today but I wasn’t fully ready just to jump into talking about the past. Not with all that’s been going on.

I didn’t want to think about anything today, I just wanted to clear my head and get rid of my overbearing thoughts but that was a battle I always lost.

The countless calls Grandma left, left me no choice but to block her number and ask Carter to erase her name from my visiting page which he said I couldn’t do because I needed at least one adult on my emergency contacts.

So I requested him to ask Adam, who accepted, and both Grandma and Noah were taken off and couldn’t visit me even if they miraculously decided that they wanted to.

Noah, who I still thought about, hadn’t done anything after being punched and knocked out by Alessio. I didn’t know whether to be relieved or suspicious that maybe he was up to something.

This was my last month at Hartford, the second the last day hit, I was free to move on and start my life without any problems and leave behind a life that I couldn’t wait to forget.

Alessio wraps a blanket around my shoulders as he finishes brushing his teeth and exiting the bathroom. I stared out his window and watched the gray sky reflect across the lake in the back of the academy, his room has a perfect view.

“Did you have trouble sleeping? You should’ve woken me up and I would’ve” I place my finger against his lips to quiet him down.

“I just woke up early, I slept fine” I’ve been sleeping better because of him, soundly as well, without the constant disturbance of my mind waking me up in the middle of the night and refusing to go back to sleep.

“Can we stay in here for today? I don’t want to be around anyone, please?” I clutch the blanket around me as I begin to feel the morning breeze.

“But I’m here” He refers to when I said that I didn’t want to be around anyone today and I kept my gaze focused out the window.

“You don’t count” I finally turn my head to look at him and the second I do, I catch him already looking over the features of my face as if he’s memorizing each detail.

I find myself doing the same, I couldn’t believe how perfect everything about him was.

Golden brown eyes hide behind clear lenses that only ever dimmed when he was upset or something was bothering him, perfectly cut cheekbones that go along with his dimples, the left one showing whether he smiles or not. Neatly shaped eyebrows that couldn’t hide the emotions he felt, perfect, full lips that never once said anything wrong and felt so good against mine.

My focus on seeing how perfect the details of his face were was broken when I felt his fingertips lightly trace themselves up my thighs, underneath his shirt on my body.

The soft touch and the slow breeze from the windows cause goosebumps to rise against my skin, he did nothing but watch his fingers trace something along my thighs.

“You said you want to stay in today, right?” I could only manage a nod right now as he got closer to the inside of my thighs.

“Can I try something then?” He asks, glancing over at the extra paint and paint brushes on the window sill.

I remove the blanket from my shoulders and lift his shirt higher, “Do whatever you want”

He goes and fills one of the ceramic mugs with water before coming back over to me, placing it down next to the paint brushes. He then pours the color of paints that he wants to use on one of those paint trays.

I lift my legs on his lap, Alessio removes his shirt so we won’t get any paint on it but it’s more like a distraction for me.

“I can go out and get you anything you want to eat after this if you don’t want to leave the room,” He says, dipping one of the thin paint brushes into the red and another into the white to make a light pink shade.

“I’d like that” I peek up at him to find the growing smile and blush on his face, it felt refreshing not to talk to anyone else or worry about lecture classes anymore.

There was still so much I needed to figure out about my life and myself.

And it all made me realize that I wasn’t completely ready for a lot.

It felt like so much was happening all at once and I couldn’t keep up.

“Stop thinking so much” He dipped another paintbrush in the red and continued to shape out the flowers.

He was so concentrated on making each detail of the flower perfect and yet he was still able to know that I was letting myself get too far lost in my own thoughts.

“Easier said than done” Getting inside of my head was a talent that I was very skilled at, especially when I’ve only had myself to tell my problems to, getting lost in my head way too easy.

“Why did you want to paint today?” From my right ear, I can hear the sound of the rain pattering against the window so I reach over and close it.

“You said your mother painted with you when it rained… and that it made you happy. That’s all I want is to make you happy” He stops, turning his head in my direction rendering me speechless.

I didn’t know what to say, I opened my mouth but nothing came out. All I could do was stare at him while he went back to painting my thighs.

Why do you want to make me happy? Are words my brain and heart wouldn’t allow me to say.

When I know inside that I cannot make you happy.

“I’m guessing he did that?” I don’t expect to hear Noah’s voice and everything in me freezes, he’s standing in front of my door in the dark halls with only one light above us.

How is he here? He should’ve been taken off my visitation list already.

He’s staring at Alessio’s paintings on both my thighs, the trailing roses going up my right thigh.

His jaw is still purple and a bit swollen along with his lip, judging by how he winced when he spoke, it still hurt.

I don’t say anything to him and push past him to get inside my room but he easily cuts in front of me.

“You know, I almost feel bad for the poor guy. I would feel fully bad for him if he didn’t almost break my jaw for someone like you” He clicks his teeth, grinning at my attempt to move past him.

“Thanks to you, my brother will be taking over my father’s company so you’ve pretty much ruined my life and my face” he backed us into the wall behind me, pressing his heavy body against mine.

“Trust me, both of those things were ruined before you met me” I struggle against him but look him in his eyes to see his overly wide and creepy ones staring back into mine.

“I don’t know what he sees in you honestly, it’s not like you see whatever it is in him” The bruise on his jaw has even started to go down to his chin.

“Is there a reason why you’re here?” I try to get him to tell me why he’s here so he’ll leave faster, I didn’t have time for Noah, especially not with the headspace that I’m in.

“That day after you got your… well I can’t call him your boyfriend now can I? Cause you to see him as so much less than that don’t you?” He reaches to stroke my face and I push his hand away.

“Get to the point” This is the last thing I wanted was to be around him or anyone at that matter.

“After he came close to breaking my jaw, I called the deal off with your Grandma about the marriage and told her that you had been sleeping around with your Headmaster’s son, and she told me that it was something that just ran in your bloodline” He’s amused by all that he’s telling me.

“Then she asked me if she thought you were growing feelings for him and it made me laugh because there was no possible way that you see him more than just sex but him on the other hand. When he punched me, I knew he saw you as so much more” He pressed his body harder on mine, making me clench my jaw in slight pain.

“You can’t even see it can you? Of course, you can’t because your just a selfish bitch using him because all you care about is sex, and it’s all you’ll ever be good for” His words aren’t helping what I was thinking about earlier and I shut my eyes.

“Poor guy doesn’t even know what he got himself into, judging by who his father is, I’m guessing he was a virgin who chose to be an idiot and let you take it. He doesn’t even know he gave it up to a worthless and selfish bitch” He slammed his hand beside my head to make me look up.

“T-That’s not true… I’m not using him” I wanted to cover my ears. I couldn’t hear this, not right now.

Truth is, I did wake up really early but it wasn’t because I was thinking of Adam or my Grandma, or my Mother.

It was because I was thinking about myself, thinking about how I thought I had found something real but my condition would always come back to ruin it for me.

All that’s been happening has made me see the weaknessesin myself lately, I’ve been putting myself down for a while and it only grew worse this week.

“Then tell me that you have feelings for him, admit to yourself that you like him. You can’t, can you? Because you can’t feel anything for anyone but yourself and you say you aren’t selfish” He waits a few seconds and finds himself laughing.

My mouth remains shut and Noah scoffs, “It’s pathetic honestly, you’re pathetic” He backs up a bit and it feels like the thoughts in my head only grow worse.

I remember hearing Alessio speaking to his father on the phone when he thought I was asleep, his father telling him that all he wanted was for him to be successful, that he didn’t want him focused on something that wasn’t going to help him in the future.

Then Noah’s words about me using Alessio replay in my head but I wasn’t using him.

I told him that all we had was sex and if Alessio had grown feelings for the way Noah said then not only was that the one thing I told him he couldn’t do but I told him he couldn’t expect to have the same feelings or want more than what we have.

“Guess he’s lucky it’s your last week here, then he won’t have to look at the person who’s about to self-absorbed girl who wasn’t enough even get her real father to stay in her life” It wasn’t the fact that Noah said the words, it was the words itself that hurt me the most.

“It’s almost sad to think about the life you’ll live, all alone but I’m sure you’re used to that right?” He finally spits and walks away.

Like water crashing against rocks, tears spilled down my face in frenzy, I went inside my room and slammed the door behind me, as if air couldn’t reach my lungs I began to hyperventilate.

I knew I shouldn’t have let this go as far as it did, I knew there was something he was hiding from me and it was that he has feelings for me.

I shouldn’t have done all the small things we’ve been doing recently.

People who just have sex don’t sleep in the same bed together, they don’t hold each other to fall asleep, they don’t give each other forehead kisses and paint each other. They keep it at sex and only that and I let it get too far.

I didn’t go to his room like I said I would, instead I stayed in my room all night, thinking about Noah’s and mommy Grandma’s words,making it hard for me to close my eyes and just sleep.

I was a selfish bitch, I wasn’t oblivious to Alessio’s feelings, and I’ve just been pretending like they weren’t there the entire time because in many ways him being gentle and comforting towards me was what I needed and wanted.

But how long would that last?

How long until he realizes that I’m not what he wants, that he wants someone else, how long until he sees all the flaws that I already see in myself and says that he can’t handle it.

But it was also me at the same time, if we were to work out, how long would it be until I sabotaged it all myself, pushing him away and reflecting back to my ways now, it not only hurt him but me at the same time.

I didn’t have enough space in my heart to be hurt all over again.

I didn’t ever like to admit people were right about all the things they tell me, but maybe just maybe Grandma and Noah were right, I deserved to be alone and I could never have the happy ending that I read about in stories.

I feel like I’m already reinventing myself and building my life again from the bottom.

Like I didn’t know myself anymore.

God I wish she was here to tell me that I was wrong, that this wasn’t the way and that I was just hurting not just myself but him as well.

Truth was I didn’t deserve Alessio, and there was someone out there better for him than I was.

I wasn’t what he needed but he is what I need, he was good for me in all the ways I needed.

But I was terrible for him.

I wasn’t even good for myself.

• ❤️

chapt 53 • Gone For Good

She didn’t come to my room last night.

I knew she was feeling down but something told me it wasn’t about the recent events that have been thrown at her all at once.

But even after all that I’ve learned about her, my feelings for her never faltered not once. It only made me see how much she’s been through by herself and how much she doesn’t want to be alone anymore.

In the last couple of days, she’s begun to open up but at the same time, I could still see the look of fear in her eyes of something and I didn’t like it.

I cursed to myself standing underneath the shower head, water pouring down onto my hair which dripped down my body.

I’d stayed up most of the night waiting for her soft three knocks and then the final one that came exactly five seconds after the last one.

This was the last week before we’d receive our certificates of completion and move on to universities and I still have to break the news to my father, my mother already knows and she’s supportive as she is with everything I do.

It felt like the universe was on my side for once when Honey got accepted into the university and decided she was going to take the offer and attend.

With the same major and scholarship as me, it meant that I would get to see more of her… at least I think that’s what it means.

I dreaded the idea of what would happen when the last couple of weeks of being here came around and we were at the last week we were still holding onto that deal we made.

A deal with rules that I failed miserably to follow.

I finished in the bathroom and left my room, hoping to see her in the halls but instead, I didn’t and the only person who manages to pull me away from my search for my girl is Madelyn.

Instead of her usual wide smile that would make me uncomfortable, her face is contorted in anger and irritation.

“You never came back to help me finish my project! I didn’t have enough time to submit one and all university deadlines are over!” She stomps her foot and squints her eyes at me.

The same day I found Noah seconds away from kissing Honey, I was supposed to meet Madelyn in her room to finish her last stage but the thought of being alone with her in her room hadn’t sat right with me, and listening to my gut that day, led to a night I won’t forget.

“I was stuck in my father’s office, helping him with paperwork that night. I’m sorry” I don’t want to be standing here, I want to be kissing my girl on her soft, full lips.

“I guess I can forgive you if you agree to take me out on a date” She clasped her hands in front of her and I began to feel bad for my next choice of words but I had to tell her.

“Madelyn… I’m sorry but I don’t see you the way you see me” I tell her and the smile on her face drops and returns to that irritating expression.

“Is it because of her?” She presses the subject.

Even if Honey hadn’t come to this school, I still wouldn’t see Madelyn in that way or anyone.

Before Honey came, I kept to myself kinda as I do now. I didn’t talk to anyone unless I had to.

Before I liked being alone and having my own space and it all changed because of her and I didn’t mind at all that she was in my space, she could have it if she wanted to and I hope that she did.

I thought back to how Honey didn’t like the idea of Madelyn and I walking the halls together, being seen without a complaint, and how it wasn’t the case for us.

“It is because of her, she’s the only person I want” I admit with my full chest and Madelyn’s mouth drops completely open when I tell her.

She closes her mouth before crossing her arms, something changes in her eyes and before I know it, she’s smiling widely at me.

“Well, I’m glad one of you thinks that way,” She says, brushing her body against mine before walking off somewhere and I turn to look at her, not understanding the meaning behind her words.

No matter how much I wanted to go find Honey, I still had to tell my father about the university.

“Good I’m glad you stopped by, I need you to help me sort these out” He piles a stack of papers in front of him as I enter his office and I don’t know how to approach this.

“I actually needed to talk to you” I close his door and he looks up from his stack of papers.

“What is it? I have paperwork to do as you can see” His voice is stern, clearly already annoyed with the fact he has to sign all the early graduation requests from students.

I open my bag and pull out my acceptance letter. I brace myself for all his words to come, all of me hoping that he won’t be disappointed and be proud of me instead.

“I know you said it would be a waste of time… but it’s something that I want to do and that I see myself doing for my life. My dream has been to have my own art gallery and sell my works and this university would be my opportunity to do that” I walk further into the office, by the chair in front of his desk.

Judging by how his pen stopped moving and how he looked up at me, this could go one or two ways.

He could tell me that he didn’t approve of what I did, how I lied and told him I’d apply to the university he’s worked hard at to get me into, and how I’ve just ruined that or he could be understanding that what he wants for me isn’t what I want for myself.

“What are you saying?” The look in his eyes makes me glance down at the floor for a second before I remind myself that I need to tell him.

This entire week, Honey’s been doing nothing but helping me find the courage to tell him. Reminding me that even if he didn’t like me doing this, it wouldn’t matter as long as this is what I wanted to do.

She listened when I told her how I wanted to own an art gallery, she sat there and listened to all the things I want in the future and the adoration in her eyes made me want to tell her that I want her to be in that future with me as well.

“I applied to the art university and I got accepted with an offer of a four-year scholarship which I also accepted… I start in the summer” I finally let out which feels like a heavy brick has been taken off both of my shoulders.

“And what about the university I gave you the papers to apply for? If you got accepted into that one as well, you know the decision you have to make” He lifts his hand to his chin.

“I didn’t apply to that one, it’s not going to do anything for what I want to pursue” I continue, and yet he looks like none of this is believable.

“A university owned by a close friend of mine, one I convinced him to let you attend for free and you didn’t apply and threw it away like that?” I remained silent.

“Does your mother know?” I nod my head to confirm his question, “Let me see the paper”

I hand it to him and he reads over my acceptance letter. I was waiting for him to change his attitude and be happy about all the great statements made about me but his stern face doesn’t change in the slightest.

“I need time to think this over and talk with your mother. Not only did you lie and tell me you applied to a university I worked so hard to get you into, you didn’t inform me that Honey Rose was the partner you were assigned to work with on this project” He hands me back the paper and I go to say something when he mentions Honey but he lifts his hand for me to save it.

“There’s a lot of influence I knew she could have on you and I’m guessing she’s the reason you’ve randomly decided to defy me” He removes his glasses and rubs his eye.

I can’t take it anymore, I’ve been doing everything to make sure I was the perfect son he made sure to brag to everyone about it. I’ve done everything he’s wanted and the time I want to live my life for myself, he isn’t happy.

“I’ve wanted to attend this university since you brought me here, I’ve told you about it for ages now but you never listen” I speak up and he opens his eyes to tell me to watch how high I’m raising my voice but at this moment I can’t help it.

“She’s not a bad influence and she’s not the reason I lied to you about this. I lied because I knew this was how you’d react, you wouldn’t be happy and you’d look at me like you can’t stand the fact you’re not controlling every aspect of my life” I finally built up the courage to say.

“How could I be happy knowing you’re choosing a path that won’t benefit you all through your life?”

“You don’t know that, if you ever took the time to actually look at my work, you’d know that I’m good at it. Painting, sculpting, photography, I love it all but you’ve been too busy to ever notice that” Then I see something in my father’s eyes.

“You don’t think I’ve noticed? Your mother does nothing but keeps everything you’ve ever drawn since you were little in our house, every wall you painted on when you were fourteen hasn’t been touched with a fresh coat of paint. I get told every day how talented you are, and we’ve kept any art award you’ve ever won” He walks around the desk to me and places a hand on my shoulder.

“Then why can’t you accept that this is what I want for myself, I don’t care how much money I’ll earn from it… I just want to do something I love and this is it, is that not good enough for you to accept?” I clutch the back of the chair in front of me.

“I want something that will benefit you all your life, so you never have to worry about money the way your mother and I did. And if I were to discuss this with her… she wouldn’t let me drive home tonight and tell me to sleep in this office. And I know she’s already accepted this and is proud of you and I am to Alessio” I see the sincerity in his eyes when he places his hand on my shoulder.

I understood where he was coming from, wanting a profession for me that would provide me money that I would never have to worry about not having, and opening an art gallery wouldn’t be easy but I knew I could do it and I would show him that.

After my father and I sat down and talked and he confessed that he was happy and accepting of my decision, I wanted to go and thank the one person who finally allowed me to go and do this and speak for myself.

But when I got to her door and did our four secret knocks, no answer or sound was coming from behind the door.

I tried again but the same thing, I knew she was finished with all her lectures so I went to check my room in case she went there to find me but when my room was still locked and empty. I went to the library and the back room.

But I couldn’t find her and I began to worry, it didn’t help that none of my messages were going through. I began to feel the same way the night she showed up at my door drunk after she left the wedding without telling me anything.

I then ran into her friend Charolette who assured me constantly that she won’t tell anyone about Honey and I and that she thinks we’re cute. 

“Have you seen Honey? I’ve checked her room but she didn’t answer” Charolette’s eyebrows push together at my words as if I’m missing something.

“She left” She firstly said and I thought maybe she went out for a while into town.

“In town?” When she says no, I begin to hope she doesn’t mean what I’m already thinking.

“… Honey requested an early leave since she found out she had all needed credits, she left this morning” She informs me but when she sees the look on my face she bites her lip in worry. “Did she not tell you?”

It felt like I was being choked right now, my ears didn’t want to believe what had just come out of her mouth.

She left.

Without saying anything, without a goodbye.

I thanked Charolette for telling me as I went back to Madelyn’s words and why she was slightly amused when I told her that Honey was the only person I wanted. She was amused because everyone was aware Honey had left except for me.

I dreaded the day she’d stand in front of me and tell me she wants to end this, but I never knew that day would come in the form of her leaving without a word, not even a text or a call or even a small note telling me she didn’t want this anymore.

I’d rather her stand in front of me and break it off than me find out this way, at least then I would’ve gotten to see her again.

I went back to my room, unintentionally slamming the door forcefully, mind racing and heart hurting altogether.

Then I concluded that this was the reason she didn’t come to my room last night because she didn’t want to do this anymore. She didn’t want me, at least not in the ways that I wanted her.

I couldn’t ignore the build-up of pain in my chest, I gave myself false hope thinking for a second that maybe she’d somehow have the same feelings for me, that in the end, she’d confess she’d want us to be more than two people who have sex.

But yet again, I broke my own heart thinking that I was enough to make Honey want a relationship and I was an idiot for thinking that she could have anyone she wanted and I thought she’d pick me.

Was it selfish for me to feel the sudden ache in my chest?

I didn’t have the right to be upset or hurt, I knew what she wanted and didn’t want from the beginning.

What she wanted was sex with me and what she didn’t want was anything more than that with me.

But I was hurt more than I could take, the heavy feeling in my chest grew the more that I hoped that it hadn’t been so easy for her just to leave, again giving myself that hope that maybe she considered and thought about me before she did.

I had to remember all the factors that played a part in her leaving, that it wasn’t just me. Not only had she left the only family she’s ever known behind, but she also found out her father was only a stranger to her, her entire life and she met her real one after years of wanting love from a man who wasn’t her real father. 

Before she came to the academy, I told myself from the first day that I would request an early leave.

I could’ve requested that leave months ago and that all went to shit when I saw her smile.

She introduced me to so much I couldn’t have imagined doing before we met.

She was my first everything and even with the pain that I was feeling now, I wouldn’t change any of it.

Not even now that I’m on the verge of wishing that there was more I could’ve done to get her to stay with me. Remembering how I was hoping to spend our last week together before she eventually broke it off.

Maybe I wasn’t the one she was supposed to end up with and the one to show and give her all the love and more that she deserves. With that thought I began to tell myself that I wasn’t enough to be that person for her and someday I would have to be okay with that fact.

And for now I’d have to accept that she was gone for good.

chapt 54 • I Miss Her

With nowhere to go, I used the number Adam gave me and he paid for a driver to take me to his house instead of my idea to just find a hotel or something and figure it out from there.

I was a wreck in the back seat of the car, crying to Adam that I just have to go and ruin every good thing there is for me.

He said it isn’t true but it is, I didn’t leave Hartford because I had enough credits and couldn’t wait to get away from the hell hole, I left Hartford because there was so much I hadn’t figured out.

Adam opens his door, and I wrap my arms around him and cry into his chest, he doesn’t hesitate to hug me back.

“I miss her… I miss her so fucking much” I sob, my tears dampening, one of his hands on the top of my head while he continues to whisper “I know.”

“I know you do, I do too… every day I miss her more and more” He placed his hands on my shoulders, “It’s going to be okay Honey, come inside okay? I made you something to eat in case you were hungry”

He let me enter his home and brought my bags inside, “I don’t mean to drop in on you like this… I could’ve gone to a hotel but I”—

He shushes me, telling me not to worry about it, “I don’t mind at all, I’m glad you called me first before deciding on the hotel. I’d rather you stay here with me than somewhere alone”—

He stops when he sees that I’m still crying, “I don’t want to talk about it… not right now at least. I just want you to tell me what she was like and good things about her”

I try and swallow the lump in my throat that hasn’t disappeared since I told Alessio… I couldn’t even think about it right now, how he feels.

Adam guides me to his large sofa, telling me to sit while he gets me water and I decline the food. I didn’t have an appetite right now with everything going on in my head.

“What do you want to know?” He sits the glass in front of me and sits beside me.

“What she was like when you first met” I drink the water and he shakes his head with a small smile.

“Well she actually hated me if I’m being honest, she hated me for months straight because not only would we constantly get in trouble but it felt like we were always competing with each other when it came to being in trouble” He looks down at his tattoo.

“It was kinda one of those she hated me but I didn’t hate her and only pretended to just to be around her sorta things. The woman was my addiction” He smirks, recalling the memories he had with my mother.

“I made sure to annoy her though, I liked the irritated look on her face when I did, how she would squint her eyes at me whenever she’d seen me and show me her middle finger whenever I joked around and asked her for a kiss” He twist the ring on his ring finger on his left hand.

“But I knew she wanted to kiss me because before she told me how much of a dumbass I was, her breath would hitch just slightly… I’m sorry I don’t think this is what you meant by wanting to get to know her” He rubbed the back of his neck and I shook my head.

“I like to hear about the chemistry you had, but I also want to know how it was for you when she… passed” This time I raise my gaze to look at him.

I can see the once happy tone and expression morph into one filled with pain.

“I wish I could tell you that I was strong but I was the complete opposite.”

“Since I couldn’t see her after you were born because your Grandma have moved her somewhere else, the last time I got to see her was when she was giving birth to you… the first time I ever held and saw you” Adam looks at me, managing to bring out a smile even though he looks broken right now.

“After that, it felt like I had lost everythinglost my everything all at once, I lost both of you. For months I wrote letters with no address to send them to, hating my parents for keeping you both away from me and despising her Grandma for all that she had done.”

“Months passed and I still tried to figure out where she had moved you both and I didn’t think I’d find out in the form of a wedding invitation..” He reaches for his glass of water.

“At first I was angry but then I knew that she would never willingly marry anyone and I knew it was all her mother’s doing” He sets the water down.

“Did you go? To the wedding” I ask, remembering how he comforted me when I despised going to my father’s wedding.

“I didn’t want to go to the wedding, but I wanted to see you both, so I did go. Ellie walked down the aisle in a wedding dress that she looked so beautiful in, that on the same night I was watching the love of my life as she said “I Do” to someone that wasn’t me“ I can hear the sadness growing in his voice.

He clears his throat, raising his chin into the air to stop the water building in his eyes from falling as he continues, “I remember crying that day, wanting to be the man who got on a knee for her and asked her to spend the rest of her life with me”

“After that day I felt like my life went to shit, months passed and it turned into two years then three then four to five, and I was constantly told to move on and I didn’t, your mother will always be my first love and I can never love anyone else”

“I found out she… passed, when I was starting to get my life together. I was in the middle of returning to school when I received the news, I didn’t get to see her in the hospital because I wasn’t told anything about that until the funeral and that’s when I finally received her last letter ever written to me” That’s when the tears slide down his face and I place my hand in his and Adam slightly squeezes my hand.

“She apologized, and I wish I was there to tell her that she had nothing to be sorry for. She blamed so much on herself and I could tell she was hurting with each word she wrote… she shared memories with you and told me how much your smile reminded her of me and she told me that she wanted nothing more than for us to be the family we’ve always talked about having.”

“Getting to the end she told me how miserable she was being with him and living with her Grandma, the only things keeping her sane were her paintings she would sell without anyone’s knowledge and most of all you, Honey you kept going for so long” I feel my lip quiver.

“I wish… if I had gotten the letter earlier… I could’ve done something to help her. Every day I hate myself for not trying hard enough to find out where your Grandma moved you both” He drops his head into his hands, releasing my hand from his.

“It’s not your fault…” I retake his hand in mine, I know how he feels right now.

Blaming himself for something that was out of his control, “You know I thought you’d hate me, and yell at me for not doing more to help her”

“I don’t blame you and I’ve learned to stop blaming myself… and you did more than I could ever ask for, you made her so happy and that’s all that matters, you made her find love in a life that she was told she could never find” I couldn’t ask for a better man to be my father than the one sitting right beside me.

“I loved her more than I did myself, and I still do love her as you can tell” He gestures to some familiar paintings hanging around his house.

“You kept them?” I look around to find all the beautiful pieces my mother has painted.

“Of course I did, I kept everything she’s ever painted for me. I even read her letter so much I could say line for line without looking at it” He wipes some of his fallen tears.

I couldn’t help but cry myself, he loved her so much.

“Were there times when she thought she didn’t deserve the love you gave her?” I used my free hand to wipe the tears on my cheek.

“More times than I could count, she’d purposely avoid me sometimes and keep to herself. But the more she did that, the more I was around her to reassure her” He reached over and grabbed me a tissue.

“Is there a reason why you left Hartford so early? I know you exceeded your credits but I thought you would want to stay for your friends” He moves the topic, and I don’t think I want to talk about it.

“I start university in summer and I want to figure everything out before I do. I want to figure myself out first… that’s why I’m here, I want to have you in my life and I want to be your daughter… I just want a true home and a real family” I found myself sobbing again and Adam was quick to wrap his arms around me.

“I want closure before I start new beginnings..” I said into his chest and he raised my head with a smile on his face.

“I promise I’m going to make up for all these lost years,” He said with tears of his own.

And for the first time in my life I received the fatherly love that I had only ever seen in movies or on the sidelines of everyone else’s life, I felt the warmth in his hug and care in his eyes and words.

I was one starting step toward seeking closure from my past and I know she would be proud of me.

“I have your room ready if you want to go upstairs and sleep or something and I could make dinner if you’re hungry” Adam offered, grabbing the two glasses and moving into the kitchen.

I took the time to look around his house which was incredibly large, “I’m just glad to know your house isn’t as plain as your office” I hear him chuckle from the kitchen.

“I’m new to this dad thing but I could start off by grounding you or something,” He says while I grab my bags.

“Then I’d be like one of those daughters who march up the steps and scream I hate you five times and slam the door to my room and never come out” I hear the kitchen sink turn off and he looks at me.

“I’m glad you’re here” He starts to take out some plates from the cabinets and I tell him that I’m glad I’m here too and he tells me he’ll call me down for dinner.

I haven’t eaten dinner with anyone for years, and I’m happy that Adam is the person I get to experience this with.

I miss her.

If it was pathetic to miss her after she left without a word then I was pathetic as it gets. I don’t care.

I have to remind myself she left for good reasons, everything was happening so fast for her, and I knew it was becoming too much for her.

I woke this morning with a frown, missing her leg between mine and her head on my chest, the hand she ran down my abs or through my hair that made me sleep better.

I missed waking up to see her eyes, one of the crystal blue ocean and one of the golden sun.

I left Hartford and returned home, spending more time with my mother who hadn’t gone a day without mentioning how nice it was for me to bring Honey and that I should invite her more. I hadn’t told her anything yet, I just let her constantly talk about how stunning she thought she was because it was true.

My mother had her personality changes, but in the end, she did turn out to be the supporting mother that I would always need.

My father was stuck at the academy, wrapping up paperwork before the ceremony which he insisted I attend but I didn’t want to, not without her.

“It would have been so cute to see the both of you at the ceremony” She placed a plate of breakfast in front of me and noticed the length of my hair.

“You’ve cut your hair this way for a while” She shrugs it off and continues back in the kitchen.

Honey likes my hair this way, so I’ve never cut it shorter or let it grow longer than the way she likes.

“Alright, what’s wrong? I’m not the best person to have conversations with but you’re talking way less than I know my son does” She sits beside me, that motherly concern filling her senses.

I debated whether or not I should tell her but my mother could see through a lie without it even being said yet.

“I grew feelings for her… and I wasn’t supposed to but I couldn’t help it. I like her so much” I finally admit and she breaks out into a wide smile, clasping her hands underneath her chin.

“I was wondering when you were going to tell me” She rolls her eyes when I question how she knows.

“You became a statue when she was helping me wash the dishes while I was making her laugh with my comedic ways, before I could even ask her if she wanted something to drink, you ran into the kitchen and made her hot chocolate before she even got to answer and when she fell asleep on the couch, you covered her in a blanket and carried her to your room” I blush down at the food when she brings up the day I brought Honey home after we left her family’s house.

“Did you tell her about your feelings?” She scoots her chair closer to me.

“… I didn’t get to but I think she knew and I think it’s part of the reason why she left” I feel my mother’s hand on my back.

“Because that’s all she knows darling, she didn’t leave solely because she knows you like her, she left because the idea of someone truly giving her whatever you have is not only new to her but it’s also scary for her to accept that fact that someone cares for her” I looked up from my plate.

Before I could tell her that I didn’t want Honey to be scared, the front door unlocked and my father walked in and dropped his briefcase by the entrance of the door, and removed his coat.

My mother went to greet him and I ate my breakfast and thought back to my mother’s words.

My mother and father both seemed to have their opinion when it came to her, my mother seemed more understanding and my father seemed more questioning as if they’ve met someone just like Honey in their past.

After I ate, I went back to my room and grabbed the books that I kept that she had given to me.

I read them more than I had studied when she had first given them to me, wanting anything we did together to be perfect and times she would never forget just like me.

Sometimes I’d get too lost and wonder if she was thinking about me the way I think about her.

I think about the first time we kissed every day, the second her lips touched mine I never wanted to pull away and I became addicted to how perfect they were on mine.

She had completely ruined me, every inch of my skin was hers even if she didn’t want me, I would be hooked on her constantly without even meaning to think of her, she invaded my head.

God, I miss her.

chapt 55 • Accepting Her

Adam tells me how he has to leave a few hours early to attend the ceremony of completion at the university as I place the dishes into the sink and he begins to clean them.

“Can I go with you? I want to be there for a friend of mine” I ask, wanting to be there to watch Charolette in the ceremony before she was off and left for her dream university.

“You’re not going to be in the ceremony?” He turns his head to me and I shake my head as I cry the clean dishes and put them in the cabinets.

“I took the early leave, so I already have my certificate of completion in one of my bags” I reached over for the glass he just finished washing.

“You never told me why you left” He finishes washing the rest of the dishes and begins to help me dry and put them up.

“I got all my credits so I didn’t need to finish the last week” I sense him stop his movements after he places the plates in a stack in the cabinet above him.

“What about seeing your friends for the last week?” He dries his hands.

“I didn’t want to be there longer than I had to,” I say, focusing only on drying the two glasses we used.

Then the glass is removed from my hands and placed on his side of the counter, “Ellie was a shitty liar too, now tell me why you really left”

I wait a while but when I see that he isn’t going to let this go I just tell him.

“I guess there were things I wanted to do before I started university, one of those things was to come and talk with you and have a relationship with my real father… and today I wanted to try to call Celeste and talk with her as well. It was unfair the way I treated because of who she was married to, and she was nice to me… she can’t be my stepmom anymore but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a relationship” I still can’t lift my gaze to his waiting for the response I’ve become so used to over the past years.

But instead, Adam brings me into a hug. “Ellie would be so proud of you, and I’m proud of you Honey. More than I can express” I hug him back, my lip slightly trembles, thinking about my mother being proud of me.

It may be harder to sit down with Celeste now that she isn’t married anymore, and there isn’t any reason for her to accept my apology and me wanting her to be in my life but I was going to try and that’s all that matters.

I’ve been at Adam’s house for a week and we’ve mostly just talked about everything and joked how we normally would even with finding out that he was my father all along, nothing changed between us and it makes me happy.

“I can drive you wherever you decide to meet her and pick you up after, then we can go to the ceremony,” He says and I thank him and he tells me not to.

“All though you should thank me after you I saved you from making the worst french toast that I would’ve ever tasted” Adam goes back to putting up the dishes.

“I honestly see why she hated you, it’s all become clear to me this week.”

I mess with the gold rings on my index and pinky finger, waiting for Celeste after Adam dropped me off a couple of minutes ago and told me to call him whenever I was ready and he’d drive us back to the academy.

While I waited for her, I thought about going back to the academy after leaving there a week ago. After leaving him a week ago.

To me, leaving without a word was better than leaving with several words that I knew would hurt him but I knew, either way would hurt him.

I keep telling myself that I hope he somehow magically understands my reasoning but he never would truly understand unless I explain it to him and I wasn’t ready for that.

The ring of the bell of the small cafe rang and the chair across from me was being pulled out and in by Celeste who sounded glad that I had called her.

Her same cheerful smile was broadcasted and she thanked me for ordering her something.

She deserved an explanation as well, she was also in the room while I confronted my Grandma about lying to me and she was also in the middle of handling divorce papers.

I didn’t want to start with small talk, so I inhaled slowly before I started speaking.

“When we went shopping for wedding dresses… it was something that I’ve always wanted to do with my mother. I didn’t want to go, especially not with my Grandma. But then you took my hand and we ran across the street into the other store and left her behind, and when you were telling me about how nice you thought the dresses would look on me or when I was zipping up your dress for you,  I started to feel like I wanted to be there and that if I couldn’t experience that moment with her… I was happy that it was you” When I finish, I see Celeste smile but she doesn’t say anything and lets me continue talking.

“It was unfair of me to treat you distantly because you were married to him, I didn’t even try to think that maybe they both showed you nothing but lies like they do everyone else and I’m sorry” I finally state, and she sees how I’ve been fiddling with my hands on the table and places both of hers on top of mine.

“I did see how unfair it was to you Honey, only meeting me once and being told that I was marrying your father so I don’t hold the way you were with me against you. I did want to thank you today for telling me the truth and how they treated you and for opening my eyes to what terrible people they are.

“I know you can’t become my mother or my stepmom anymore but I do want you to be in my life, whether or not you have those titles… I want you to be my mother figure…” I say and Celeste’s eyes begin to water and she apologizes.

After Adam, Celeste was the second adult who didn’t treat me differently or wrongly, and I’ve grown to realize that just like Adam, I found comfort in her as a parental figure.

“I’m sorry for crying, but I’m really happy you said that” Before I know it, we’re standing and Celeste embraces me into a hug, just like the one I received from Adam this morning.

“And even though neither of us is getting married now, if you want to dress shopping together we can” She wipes one of her tears.

“I’d like that,” I tell her and her smile rubs off onto me and this time I’m the one hugging her.

After I met with Celeste, I invited her to come along to the ceremony and also to give her a chance to meet Adam who had told us to find seats for ourselves while he went to his office for a couple of things.

“Did you not want to participate?” Celeste asks as we find three seats for all of us.

“I really don’t like the whole award ceremony thing” I sit beside her and she nods her head.

I point out Charolette who is smiling proudly as she looks through the crowd and spots me, her smile grows even more and she waved at me and I wave back. Astra comes up behind her and tells her something in her ear that causes her to look down at the ground, no doubt her face was a burning red.

“What about your friend? Alessio was his name, right? Is he not here?” I stop looking at Charolette when she mentions Alessio, my eyes betray me, and scan the room for him but I can’t find those eyes anywhere.

His father is here but he isn’t and I can’t help but wonder why, but at the same time I didn’t deserve to know, and I couldn’t think of him any longer before I start thinking about how he must’ve felt when he found out that I had left.

“I guess not” I know I shouldn’t be wearing it but I twist one of the rings Alessio let me have around my finger as I try to tell myself this was a good decision even if it was a stupid one.

I keep reminding myself that I’m doing all of this to better myself.

“The way he looks at you is adorable, when you were holding his hand that day you came to speak to your Grandma, everything about you two seems so perfect for each other” Celeste keeps her gaze on the line of students awaiting their name to be called.

I miss the way he looks at me.

“Can I tell you something?” I ask and she responds by telling me that I can tell her anything.

“We did have something with each other but I made sure to tell him that it couldn’t become more than that, not because I didn’t want to but because I knew that I would ruin it… so I would constantly push him away or ignore the feeling in my chest whenever he’d say the words I needed to hear…” I begin to say and she listens.

“I didn’t leave early because I ran from the feelings I know he has for me… I left because I’ve had feelings for him for a while now and I’ve been scared of them but every time I saw him they grew more and more and I know he’s the type who wants a relationship and I left because I’m so used to just being the reason that nothing can ever work” I think about the last night I saw Noah and all the things he said.

“And the last thing I want to do to him is mess up his first ever relationship…” I gently squeeze her hand at the idea.

“Oh Honey, you don’t give yourself enough credit. I know you’ve been through so much, and everything ever said to you makes you feel like this but not only is it okay to be scared of your feelings, but it’s also okay to accept and express them. Nothing about you, not your condition, not your family history is going to ruin anything for the two of you” She allows me to lean my head on her shoulder while she speaks.

“You have to realize that even standing in that room, watching you leave the only family you’ve ever known behind, that he was still there, not because he felt like he had to be but because he wanted to be. He wants to be there for you, and I know you want him to be.

“I know this is new to you but you can’t let the fear of your feelings be the reason that you won’t let yourself be with the person who wants nothing more to treat you the way you deserve.”

“It’s going to take me a while to return affection the way I know he does”—

“I’ve seen you two and the way he will forget about everyone in the room when you’re there, it’s clear that he doesn’t mind and he won’t mind waiting until you can reach the same level of showing affection as he does” She finishes, at the same time Adam comes and sits beside me, apologizing for taking so long.

“Are you gonna tell me why you’re staring at the empty chair besides Carter?” Adam leans over and tells me as names are being called.

“I’ll tell you when you get us ice cream after this.”

“Cookies and Cream?” He says without looking at me and just clapping after each name is said.

“It’s my favorite ‘’ We stood up to cheer for Charolette before sitting down.

I begin to wonder if it was the same for him and my mother if she ever felt the way I do now when it came to her feelings for him.

She would’ve wanted me to be happy and to choose myself and whoever it was that made me happy.

I was scared of the things Alessio made me feel, scared of the happiness he brought me not because I didn’t want it but because I was so used to being left and being alone once again.

I left him thinking that if I didn’t, I would manage to be the reason that we don’t work out.

But I was wrong.

So terribly wrong.

Mother would’ve wanted me to find peace and closure in the past and to find that I had to deal with the devilish woman who made me believe that I wasn’t worthy of being loved.

• I apologize for the late update & any responses on my message board or private messages I haven’t been responding to. I’m currently going through a loss of a friend of mine and needed some space from writing ❤️.

chapt 56 • Closure From Her

I’ve spent the past four months taking walks and sketching anything I found interesting, and  occasionally letting my mind wonder off to the girl who still has my heart, especially on nights like this.

It was even harder not to think of her when it rained, every time it did I just wanted to see her smiling at the view of the cloudy, grey sky and the droplets against the windows.

The noise of laughter and adults talking caused me to put my headphones on to drain them out.

My mother was always throwing small parties and constantly inviting neighbors which caused me to stay in my room and paint or read until they were all gone.

I never liked speaking to people, not unless it was Honey. I could talk to her forever and love every second of it.

Her voice was my favorite.

Someone constantly turning the doorknob, pushed me out of my thoughts and caused me to push back my headphones so they hang around my neck.

I open the door and surprise the girl standing there, ready to continue knocking.

“Crap I’m sorry, I thought this was the bathroom” She quickly says before she decided to run her eyes from my face down to my attire which only consisted of a black shirt and dark gray sweats.

“It’s further down the hall, the last room,” I say, which makes her raise her eyes back to mine.

“You’re Alessio, right? Your mother hasn’t stopped talking about you, she says you got into your dream university” It’s like she’s forgotten that she was looking for the bathroom.

“Sorry I’m Sage, my mom forced me to come and now I’m looking for a bathroom to hide out in until it’s over with. No offense to your mother but sitting in a room where adults talk about how successful their children are isn’t how I want to spend my Saturday night” She crosses her arm and leans on my door frame.

She takes a look at my headphones, then at the book in my hand, and into my room.

“Judging that you’re in here and not down there, I’m guessing you’re doing the same thing” She laughs a little bit but stops when she notices that I’m not laughing or talking.

“Not much of a talker are you?” She turns her head to the side, trying to get at least a couple of words out of me.

“I just didn’t expect anyone to come upstairs” I really didn’t want anyone else coming up here and trying to make conversation, the party would end in two more hours and I wanted to be in my room until then.

“My bad, I kinda forgot we’re both trying to hide from everyone downstairs and yet I’m the one making the most noise” She straightens out her dress and looks over to the staircase when someone starts to walk up.

It was my mother, she’s been checking up on me each hour but she wasn’t expecting Sage to be standing in front of me. Sage greeted my mother and my mother returned the gesture before looking at me.

“I just wanted to know if you wanted anything,” She asks me, looking at Sage who’s also looking at me then right back at me.

“I’m fine,” I say and they both are just looking at me, mother looks at the book in my hand and the headphones around my neck and realizes that Sage had interrupted my plan to hide out in my room.

“I should go back to my parents, it was nice meeting you Alessio, hopefully we can see more of each other” Sage speaks and starts to walk past my mother but not before she takes a last glance at my chest in the black shirt.

When she’s gone, mother steps closer to me. “She’s a nice girl isn’t she, a bit of a personality but she’s nice.”

She’s not the girl I want.

“Is this the reason you invited her tonight?” I go into my room and go back to reading my book.

“I didn’t invite her, your father is looking for a replacement for his job and her father is looking to be that replacement,” She tells me, following me into my room and sitting on the space beside me on my bed.

“Besides I know you’re still waiting for Honey, and trust me when I say she’ll come back” She gives me a comforting hug and I can only hope she’s right.

“I just hope she’s happy right now…” Mother lets me lean my head on her shoulder. “I miss her smile”I find myself smiling at the image of her smile, the perfect curve of her top lip, and how she’d bite her bottom lip after.

“I hope so too, after the news I don’t know how she’s taking it,” My mother says but realizes that I don’t know what she’s talking about.

“News? What happened?” I quickly ask, and she brings her hand back onto my shoulder to calm me, but I still feel the panic building in my chest.

“Honey’s Grandma suffered from a heart attack and it caused her to slip into a coma” When the sentence is finished, I find relief and sigh, placing my head in my hands.

When mother sees the panic subside, she looks at me as if the news wasn’t important but it’s hard to feel bad for someone like Honey’s Grandma.

“She’s a terrible woman, she’s never done anything good for Honey and she’s part of the reason why Honey is the way she is” I say and the confused look on her face turns into one of sadness.

“I hope she’s okay” Mother says, standing up and telling me she’s going back downstairs and closes the door to my room so no one interrupts my reading again. 

I know she’ll be okay, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to hold her but I know good things come to those who wait and that’s what I’ll do.

I’ll wait for her.

It’s been four months and I’ve never experienced things like this.

Celeste and I made it a habit to go shopping whenever we can and she comes over for dinner or on the weekends so we can spend time with each other, mostly we spend it going to the small cafe because she likes the cupcakes that come with the cute little strawberries.

Adam and I still fight over who cooks the best, which is me but he won’t admit it because he’s as stubborn as I am.

I’ve smiled a lot during these past months.

It felt nice to finally have a family that I could truly feel wanted in, they both treat me in all the ways my younger self could only dream of.

“I was thinking of getting an apartment instead of living on campus” I get up from the couch as Adam walks in the door and removes his coat.

He doesn’t say anything, he only stops me from walking away when he gestures for me to sit down on the couch again and I do.

“Something wrong?” I ask, he looks like he’s ready to tell me something.

“I never want to bring her up, especially not with how great it’s been having you here but I think you should know” He starts and places his hand over mine which rests on the small pillow on my lap.

“Your Grandma suffered from a heart attack last week and she’s been in a coma ever since, I only got word of this today at work” He looks in my eyes to find a reaction but I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now.

Usually, when someone gets news like this, they feel instantly sick to their stomach or get an empty pit or some ache in their chest.

If this was anyone else maybe I’d feel like that, but it’s my Grandma and I don’t know if that makes a terrible person for not feeling any remorse towards her after hearing what’s happened to her.

“I don’t know what to say or feel..” I admit to Adam and he sits closer to me on the couch, his arm comes around my shoulders and he pulls me into him.

“I know, and that’s okay. I didn’t expect you to feel sad about this, but you deserve to know” His thumb taps my shoulder twice before he removes his arm.

“I have the information about the hospital if you want to go see her in a couple of days.” He stands up from the couch.

“Can we go see her tomorrow?” I sit up and ask him and he seems a little surprised but tells me he’ll take me in the afternoon after he comes home from the academy.

I know she’s in a coma but that doesn’t mean she won’t be able to hear the things I needed to say. After seeing her tomorrow, I would be able to find closure from her and the past.

“She has a talent for making others feel less than they are, she would always tell me how I was never good for Ellie and that Ellie would never love me, she never failed to tell me how incapable of love Ellie was.”

“But that was where she was wrong, we’re all capable of love, whether it’s love from ourselves or someone else, we all deserve to feel and have it” Adam’s words comfort me, they make me smile thinking about being in love and loving someone.

I wanted all of it, the stupid things love makes you say and do, all the feelings that bubble in your chest and your stomach when that person is around. I wanted the calming feeling that was brought upon you whenever they held or said a single word to you.

I want all of it, and I want it all with Alessio Rivers.

Before Adam took me to the hospital, he took me to a furniture store and home decoration store, he told me I could give the house a “makeover” which meant I would have to stop making jokes about how terribly boring most of the rooms in the house were but I knew they secretly made him laugh.

“What if we turn that one room into a library?”

“Never took you as a reader,” He says, picking out some new plants to put around the house.

“I’ve taken a liking to it” Adam gives me a quizzical eyebrow, and I only walk around the store to find more things.

“Besides whenever I come home on holidays, it’ll be nice to read in there, especially how big the room is” I point out some nice chandeliers hanging from the ceiling but turn around when Adam stops in his tracks.

“Home?” I can hear the slight crack in his voice when he repeats my words.

“Don’t tell me you’re about to cry? and here I thought I’d be balling my eyes out these past months but you’ve cried more than I have” I stop the cart and lean on the handle.

Whenever I referred to his house as a home, Adam always failed to keep his emotions at bay.

He always repeated the word as if he couldn’t believe it, the first time I did it he cleared his throat and turned his head around so fast so I couldn’t see his face, I thought he hurt his neck doing so.

He rolls his eyes, “I have to remind myself you only have a couple more months before you leave, it’s the only thing keeping me going” he sarcastically states.

“You love me, and you’ll miss me,” I tell him, taking the beautiful lamp shade and placing it in the cart along with the matching vase set.

“You’re my daughter, of course, I love you, but miss is a bit of a stretch” This time it’s me who stops in my tracks, I only focus on the first sentence, the second one not even registering in my ears.

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to hearing Adam say that he loves me, and how happy he is that I want him in my life even after everything.

“Don’t tell me you’re about to cry?” He uses my own words against me and I roll my eyes this time and tell him to hurry so we can get to the hospital.

After we finish looking for everything we need, Adam takes me to the hospital and we sit in the waiting room for someone to come and show us the way to Grandma’s room.

I’ve never felt nervous about seeing my Grandma, and I wasn’t nervous because she was in a coma, I was nervous because this is the second time I’d be telling her how I feel.

When the nurse calls my name, I squeeze Adam’s hand and he asks if I want him to come with me and I tell him that I do.

“You’re the only family that shows under her name, so we’ll allow you guys a couple of minutes,” The nurse says before shutting the door and I turn towards the beeping of the machine tracking her heart rate.

Grandma’s eyes are closed and she looks how she always does but stressed even more than she normally is, my legs control me and move closer to the bed.

I rest my hand on top of hers as if I’m letting her know that I’m here. Her hand is slightly cold and there’s just silence as I try to figure out how to start.

“Sometimes I’d sit and think to myself and wonder what could I do to make you love me, but then I realize that you just have so much hate in your heart for me. You blame me for every bad thing that’s ever happened to you and if you could, you’d blame me for this too.”

“You’ve kept me from a lot of things, like my real father and the chance to experience a real childhood instead of the shitty one you didn’t care that you put me through, but I’m glad that I know him now and now I have the chance to finally live the way she would’ve wanted” I take my hand off of hers.

“I’ve allowed myself to ruin everything good in my life and because of you, I pushed someone away who wanted nothing but to give me the love that you said I would never find…” My hand instinctively finds the gold ring Alessio gave me.

I miss him so much, and I was finally not afraid of the way my heart rate picked up as I thought of him, or the smile being brought to my face.

I didn’t want to push him away anymore or anyone that wants to be there for me.

“But I found love and it’s all I want…” I look at the detailed ring, the word poetry engraved in the middle of it.

“He’s all I want, and I’m just hoping that he still wants me.”

• Thank you so much for 6 million! & Thank you all for your kind words & condolences ❤️

• Also we’re gaining towards the last few chapters !

chapt 57 • A Date

I promised my mother that I wouldn’t try to pass all the time before going to university in my room, so every time my father invited Sage’s family to discuss things with her father, she would bring a conversation with me and I would talk to her this time.

“Let’s look on the bright side, instead of hiding away in a room. We can keep each other company” Sage pokes her elbow into my arm as we sit in the living room and mother walks down the stairs.

“I don’t mean to bother, but can you take a quick run to the grocery store? I need a few more things for the party and I have to get started on the food, please” She hands me a list and tells me I can take the car.

“I’ll go with you” Sage adds, taking the list from me before I can even take a look when my mother asks her if she’s sure she says it’s no problem.

I didn’t mind, besides mother wanted me to go out more and do something other than sketching every little thing I found interesting but that didn’t stop her from handing me my small book every time I left the house.

Driving to the grocery store, Sage talked about all of her favorite restaurants, and places to go whenever her parents weren’t forcing her to go to a business party.

“It must’ve been hard not going to a regular school all your life until now, how’d you even get through that private school?” She turns her head towards me.

Once again, my mind drifts back to the only person who ever made Hartford interesting and gave me a reason to look forward to my lectures and look forward to everything.

Before I even get to answer she studies me, “I understand now, who were they?”

“What do you mean?” I can see her rolling her eyes as if I think she’s stupid, when I stop at a red light she continues.

“I see it, the slight pause before you spoke, you probably were just daydreaming about them just now” She reads me perfectly, and when I don’t say anything she confirms that she’s right.

I always find myself daydreaming about Honey. Sometimes when I go out and walk around, I think about all the things she might love, like the small plant nursery since she would always come into my room and admire my plants.

“But I’m also guessing since you’ve tried your hardest to pass time in your room, that you two aren’t in contact” Again I give no response and she still gets her answer.

I want nothing more than to turn this car around and drive straight to her but the problem was I didn’t know where she was. Instead, I kept driving to the grocery store.

“At least tell me what she’s like? Is she like you?”

Honey was nothing like me at least not when we first met, I was a stuttering mess and blushing idiot and yet she would only have confidence in the form of a smirk and her words.

At the shake of my head, Sage hums. “Then I’m guessing she’s bold and made the first move”

“She sounds hot to me, you’re hot, she’s hot and you both probably hate the fact you’re not with each other right now” She takes out the note of things my mother wrote down for us to get as I park the car.

“How do you know all of this?” I ask as we step out of the car and she shrugs.

“I’ve been through this before, with both perspectives” She grabs one of the carts outside of the store.

“Did any of them finally work out?”

“I won’t say, because then you’ll base your experience on mine, so just grab all things at the bottom” She rips the paper in half so we split the list and pushes the cart as I grab the items.

“Do you miss her?” Sage asks as we switch places so I’m the one pushing the cart while she grabs the items from her half of the list.

“That shouldn’t be a question” Is all I say and push the cart further down the aisle.

Most people in my case would probably try and forget about Honey and give up on the hope that in the end when she’s finding herself, she’ll want me to be a part of that life.

We had five more months before we started university, and I was hoping she’d walk back into my life before that. We had gotten accepted together and I want to experience it together.

Sage and I put the bags in the back of the car, she doesn’t ask me any more questions about Honey but I wish she would so I’d have an excuse to talk about her.

“What’s your favorite thing about her?” We finally turn into my driveway and she helps with the groceries.

“I can’t pick one thing, everything about her is my favorite” I place the bags on the table counter and mother comes over to hug and thank us both and we go back to my room.

“Alright then tell me everything you love about her” Sage plants herself on my bed, and prepares herself as she places the bowl of berries in her lap she got from the kitchen.

I didn’t know where to start.

“Everything about her makes me smile, the way her nose scrunches up when she’s in deep thought or how her eyebrows raise together when she laughs. How bright her eyes get when she completes something she’s been working hard on” I know I’ll just ramble on about all the things I think of in my head.

“I get shy when she looks at me, her eyes are intimidating but their just so fucking beautiful they make me weak every time. Her bottom lip will slightly curve out sometimes, she doesn’t notice but I do and it makes me want to kiss her. Her kisses always make me blush and at first I thought it was stupid but then she said it was cute, now I don’t mind blushing as long as it’s for her” Thinking about her kisses start to make my face burn up.

“She may not think of herself in the best ways but she’s so smart and she knows it.”

“You should hear her voice, it’s just so… I never know how to put it into words… there’s just so many I can choose from but none of them would ever be enough or perfect” I realize that I’ve been smiling the entire time.

I could talk about Honey for hours but I want to talk to her forever.

“If you two don’t end up together, I don’t know what I’ll do,” Sage says, getting up.

Saying “I miss her” is an understatement, days have passed and I never failed to think about her.

And I could only hope it was the same with her, if she was thinking about me, and if she misses me the way I miss her.

And if she was thinking about me, if she thought about us.

“Is she into books too?” She says, dragging her finger along the book on my shelf.

“She is, she’d tell me which ones she likes and I would read them so we could talk about them” I admit and usually someone would find that embarrassing but I don’t.

“Don’t you get worried? That maybe she took this opportunity for herself to move on” My smile falls at Sage’s words.

I don’t like to think of it that way, but at the same time, it was something I couldn’t help but think about. If she had forgotten about me and had someone else in the picture instead.

The thought only gave me mixed emotions,

“Maybe I shouldn’t have said that” Sage apologizes and I tell her it’s okay and my room is filled with awkward silence.

“But if she’s really how you say she is, then I don’t think she’d just leave without coming back with an explanation besides, you’re too amazing to give up” She goes over and grabs her bag.

“I’ll see you then” She opens the door and my mother is ready to knock on it and tells Sage goodbye.

“You two seem to become good friends” She taps an envelope in her hand as she walks into my room.

“Or an excuse so she doesn’t have to be around adults all the time” I reply and mother hits my shoulder with the envelope.

“What is that?” I point to the envelope and she turns it around to read who it’s for.

“It’s for you, hopefully, it’ll get out of this slump you’ve been in lately” She hands it to me and I immediately see that it’s not only addressed to me in handwriting that I’m familiar with.

When I tear open the top of the envelope, the letter is written on one of those old-fashioned papers, like the one I wrote the apology to Honey on, and then I instantly knew it was from her.

I haven’t even fully unfolded the paper and I felt my hands slightly shake, “Who’s it from?” mother asks beside me, and then the realization hits her when she sees how pink my face has gotten.

There could be anything in this letter, on one hand, she could tell me that she wants to truly end what we have and go our ways and on the other, she could be confessing something she never has to me.

I was nervous to read it. I contemplated even opening it right now but I was desperate and needed to know what she wrote. It had been so long without any word from her and this was my chance to finally know what’s been going on.

I unfold the paper slowly, still afraid to read any indicating words of Honey telling me that she wants to forget everything including me.

I brace myself and begin to read the short letter.

To my favorite bookworm,

“I’m probably the last person you want to hear from, but you’re the only person I want to listen to and it’s been hell going through these past months without you. I know you weren’t expecting this but I have to try, I don’t want to explain everything to you in this letter because I want to see you and tell you while looking into those eyes I miss so much.”

“I don’t expect you to say yes to the question… it is out of random and you might think I’m an idiot for even asking and you have every right to rip this and decide that you never want to hear from me again.”

“Will you go on a date with me?”

• Double Update ❤️

chapt 58 • Perfect For Me

I can’t count how many times I’ve read the letter.

The same words have now written themselves in my brain and I could recite them without looking.

The last sentence is the one I read over and over, never had I thought Honey Rose would be the one asking me to go on a date with her.

The girl who didn’t like dates, who never saw herself being treated well or finding someone, asked me on a date after telling me she misses me and wants to explain everything to me.

The rest of the letter was telling me the address of the date and I knew where it was the moment I read it out loud.

It was at the library close to the academy, the same place I had hoped to share with her but she couldn’t make it, the place I had hoped would count as our first time out together, she had asked me to meet her there as a date.

My heart hasn’t stopped jumping rapidly since I read the letter and it beats faster every time I reread it just to read her telling me she wants to see me.

I was worried that she was going to tell me the opposite. If she did I don’t think I could have handled that.

“You’ve been smiling since last night, something from the university?” Mother smiles as well as she places a breakfast plate down on the table.

She knew exactly why I was smiling but my father drank his coffee without a clue.

Father has always told me someone like Honey was going to be a distraction and she was but she was my favorite, even if I went on that date and everything goes the way I hope it will and father doesn’t approve, he would have to disapprove by himself.

“I checked their housing but I think it would be better for you to live off campus” Father injects himself before I can answer, “The apartments look calmer and it should give you space to study without disruptions”

“What about a roommate? Someone you’re more than comfortable with” Mother gives me a knowing eye and I know who she’s talking about.

“Whoever you pick, make sure they benefit you” Father inputs, putting down the papers he had been reading before beginning to eat his food.

I hurried to finish my food before going upstairs and spending the entire evening trying to find out what to wear and what to say.

I was mixed with excitement to see her and fear of what she’d say.

The short and kind elderly woman who I found myself wasting her time and telling her all the things I love about Honey the last time I was here, opened the library’s door for me.

“She’s upstairs and you were right, she is beautiful” She smiled and left the library and took her cat with her, placing the keys on the bookshelf and telling me to lock up and leave the keys underneath a brick when we were done.

I looked at the rows of stairs in front of me, I suddenly grew nervous and my heart rate picked up faster than I could control.

I haven’t seen her in so long I didn’t know what to think, I was scared that she was going to say all the words she didn’t say when she left and never said goodbye.

I made it up to the last step and all those worries I had disappeared in an instant when I saw her.

There she was, the girl who had captured my heart the second I saw her when she bumped into me for the first time. The beautiful girl who couldn’t see her beauty even if she stared at herself in the mirror with it written on her forehead.

There she was in a dark cherry red dress, that fit her so nicely I could imagine all her curves underneath the dress, the body that I love to kiss and cherish, the body I love to make her realize is perfect and the body I want to show her she is so much more than.

But it wasn’t just how she looked in the dress that made me freeze up, it was how instantly captured I was by her. Just as beautiful and even more than I remember, I suddenly felt my throat go dry and the shirt that I had some buttons open felt like they were now suffocating me.

I was so far gone looking at her that I didn’t even notice the surroundings, lights hung along the bookshelves, and the chairs and tables were moved out of the way.

In the middle were pillows, thrown in a circle while Honey seemed to be adjusting them constantly and looking frustrated if one of them didn’t meet her expectations.

The creak of the floor beneath me caused her to look up and find me standing here.

She paused for a moment, taking me in and I grew shy underneath her gaze like I always do.

The second those eyes met mine, all my feelings for her hit my heart like a train and I knew by the burning of my face that I was blushing like a fucking idiot right now.

She hurried and stood up, straightening out her dress and taking a breath to herself.

“I um… this was a stupid idea. Not inviting you here, but this” She gestured around the room, “I don’t know why I thought a date would be the perfect time to talk about everything especially this being our first” She was talking more to herself than me.

I could see the embarrassment she was going through right now, and I walked further into the room, around the pillows, and took her hands into mine. I wanted to kiss her, kiss her and tell her that I love everything she’s done but we did need to talk.

“I wanted to be the one asking you on a date, but I don’t think I could ever outdo this,” I say trying to control myself from wanting to bring a hand up to her cheek and see how her eyelashes flutter when I do.

“Should we… should we talk now?” A sudden state took over her features, she was nervous like I was and her voice was giving her away.

The moment we sat down, I didn’t know what to start with.

I didn’t think he’d come, I thought he would hate me and decline my offer and move on with his life, leaving me behind.

But when I saw him standing there, watching me panic and regret doing all of this, and the look in his eyes when he saw me made all the things I didn’t want to feel before, make my heart pound in my chest.

He was the one usually all flustered but now I was sitting here like an idiot just staring at how good he looked.

He kept his hair the same length, the length I told him that I like. The brown strands still try to hover over his glasses but he won’t let them and pushes them away. His eyes are still as golden as I remember them, soft and melting me right in my spot, the freckles on his face still make him so cute and the left dimple on his face still shows even without him smiling.

The white button-up he’s wearing doesn’t hide his body, the material constricts on his chest, and the few buttons open give me the sight of his tanned skin. The silver chain resting on his neck makes my face heat up and though he’s too tall to be sitting on a bunch of pillows he doesn’t look like he cares at all.

“I’m sorry” I start and I see his lips part but I just wanted to say what I needed to before he said anything.

This could go two ways, he could hear me out but not forgive me for leaving the way I did or he could tell me all the words that I needed and wanted to hear.

“Leaving without telling you was stupid but I’d rather do that than stand in front of you and tell you that I’m leaving and hurt you, I could’ve left a note but notes are like goodbyes and I wasn’t saying goodbye. I know I hurt you anyways and I still can’t forgive myself for that and you might either” I watch her eyes mix with sincerity, telling me that she’s not only also nervous like I am but she’s afraid of what I’ll say.

“But I left for me, I left because there was so much that I needed closure from and I needed to learn how to love myself and care for myself before I… I did any of that with you” Her captivating smile begins to form.

“I got closer to my real father and learned more things about my mother. I was able to accept a woman who wants to be a mother figure to me and I’ve started going to therapy to learn how to talk about what I feel more and to help me understand myself better” She’s so proud of herself and it only makes me mirror her smile.

“It wasn’t just therapy or leaving that helped me but it was you as well. Before I left, you made me see so many things I was blind to, you made me see that someone could actually want me for me and not because of my condition, you saw me as so much more. You told me that I was beautiful then you made me truly see it, and because of you I tell myself that I am every day.”

“It wasn’t that I didn’t have feelings for you or that I didn’t want us to become more… I was just scared of the thought that if we did become more, I’d find some way to ruin it or end up not being the one you want” Her eyes slightly drop but then she raises them to look at me.

“You are so much more than sex to me Alessio Rivers, I just want to be enough for you” I still could see the little bit of insecurity she has for herself but I could also see how she was trying to overcome it.

“Honey, I’m not mad at you. Yes I was hurt, and I missed you like hell but I knew you wouldn’t have left without a good reason and you left for your sake and that’s more than a good reason. And I’m really proud of you for doing so well and I know it wasn’t easy but you did it, by yourself” I moved closer to her.

I sit on the pillow in the middle of us, hesitating to place my hands on her waist and she sees that. She takes my hands and places them on her hips and places her legs on either side of mine.

In an instant, my body begins to heat up and react as her hands lie on my shoulders, but I try to control myself, wanting to finish talking.

“You could never ruin anything Honey, I’m so deeply in love with you, I will always want you” I’ve been waiting so long to tell her that my feelings weren’t just feelings that I love her.

“You love me?” I feel her hands tense on my shoulders, “Alessio..” she bites her lip.

“You don’t have to say it back right now, I just need you to know” My left-hand raises to her cheek and my thumb strokes her soft skin as my right-hand does but underneath her dress on her thigh.

“Why are you so perfect?” She drops her head onto mine.

“Because you’re perfect for me Honey Araceli Rose, absolutely perfect” I finally lay the kiss I’ve been aching for on her lips, her kiss takes my breath and makes my heart jump from my chest.

The kiss starts slow until it picks up, her tongue glides across my bottom lip and I part my lips for her and her tongue meets mine.

I can’t help but moan at the contact, I’ve missed this, I’ve missed her so damn much. Our bodies move as if they’ve been dying without one another, which they have been.

My arm pulls her body closer to me, even though her body was against mine, it didn’t feel like she was close enough.

Honey sensed how heated the kiss was becoming especially when I took her lip between my teeth just as I remember her liking the action.

“Wait… fuck I’ve missed that and you but this is our first date and I want us to experience it without ripping each other’s clothes off,” She says with slight, heavy breaths.

“Can I hear you say it again?” I know what she means and it makes me grin when I see how flustered she’s becoming.

“Say what again?” I tease and she rolls her eyes and balls her fist on my shoulder.

“Do you like hearing me say that I love you?” I watched her try to look down at our laps and then into my eyes and I realized that she was the shy one in this situation.

“I don’t want to hear it anymore” She pretends, acting as if she isn’t waiting for me to say it.

“I love everything about you, and I always will” I stop teasing her and press a gentle kiss on her slightly pouted lips and she looks into my eyes and I see them shine with happiness.

“Shall we continue our date then?”

“I think I’m going to pass out right here” Honey yawns in the late night sky, her heels in her left hand as she lays her head on my chest while I carry her bridal style because her feet began to hurt.

The date was more than I could’ve asked for, we spent the most time in the library going through the bookshelves and reading to each other. She told me about therapy and how great she was doing with getting to know her real father. After that we went for ice cream, she said it was to make up for the time I had bought her ice cream but she couldn’t make it to the library.

I didn’t like ice cream but for her I do.

Her soft breaths hit my neck as I opened the door to my house, it was late at night close to morning so my parents would be asleep.

I unlocked the door and Honey tried her best to stay awake. I carried her up the stairs as her arms were around my neck, but that didn’t stop her from placing her lips on my neck and telling me how good I looked tonight.

If only she saw herself through my eyes, I couldn’t take my eyes off her, not even for a second. When she pointed to the stars and how beautiful they were tonight, I agreed all while looking at her.

I couldn’t explain all the things I was feeling right now, it felt amazing to have her back in my arms.

I set her down on my bed and she cuddles into my pillow but I want to get her out of her dress.

“Just come here, please?” Her voice and how adorable she looked right now were killing me, I leaned down and she wrapped both her legs and arms around me, pulling me down onto her.

“Honey… you should change, I want you to be comfortable” I hear her sigh beside me and she lets go, allowing me to slip the dress down her body and hand her one of my shirts.

“You’re lucky I miss wearing all your clothes” She gets up from my bed and follows me into the bathroom as I find her a spare toothbrush.

“I miss you wearing my clothes” I reply and she sits on top of the counter beside me.

“What is it?” I can see some things bothering her as she sits there.

“I don’t want to leave but the last thing I want happening is your father seeing me and telling you that I’m no good for you and being disappointed in you because you’re with me” She runs the water so she can rinse off the toothbrush.

“I don’t care what he thinks of us Honey, as I said before, you’re perfect for me and no matter what anyone says, that’s not going to change the way I feel about you. Okay?” I tilt her head and she nods.

“My beautiful girl.”

• I would never let them not end up with each other, I couldn’t handle writing that myself.

• Figured out the plot for my next book “Beautiful Addiction”, working on the first chapter and completing the introduction so I hope to publish it soon!

• If you’re not sure who the book is about, it’s about Mariano from my second book “Chaos”

chapt 59 • All I’ve Ever Wanted

For the first time in my life, I finally began to feel genuine happiness.

“I’ve been talking about my feelings more, instead of turning to sex to forget them” I sit on the couch of my therapist as she nods her head.

“You’ve made a lot of improvements in these months, I even see you’re trying the dating scene” She refers back to Alessio who she saw when she left the elevator as we sat talking in the waiting room.

“You two are dating right?” She raises an eyebrow at me and I can’t help the smile that etches onto my face thinking about him.

“We are, he’s everything you told me I need in my life” God I was never a clingy person but I wanted to be with him right now even though he was outside the door.

Our first date was a week ago and I loved every single moment of it, and we haven’t stopped going on them since. Yesterday was a picnic because he remembers me telling him how I always thought the idea of a picnic was adorable.

“Then I won’t hold you any longer, we can wrap this up and I’ll see you next week” She smiles and I thank her and hurry and leave the office.

Alessio sits in the waiting room, he’s on the phone and so I don’t say anything but that doesn’t stop me from putting my hands on his knees and pressing a kiss to his lips.

I’m learning how to be more affectionate in ways that don’t just lead to sex.

As well as learning to stop using sex as a coping mechanism, something therapy has taught me was my unhealthy way of burying my feelings.

Though his eyes lit up when I had kissed him, he still had a hint of a frown on his face, from whoever was on the phone with him.

When he hung up I asked him who it was but he only stood up and pulled me into another kiss and like always, butterflies swarmed my stomach.

“My father wants to go looking for apartments near the university,” He said as we walked out of the building.

“What’s the problem with that?” I felt his hand slip into mine, “It’s a good thing.”

I felt his hand tense a little bit, “I just wanted to spend the day with you” he says and I stare at him in awe.

“I know it’s hard not seeing me every second of the day but you’ll make it” I try to lighten his mood a little bit and I look at him and see the curves of his lips turn upwards.

We spent the next minutes walking to the car, when Alessio opens the door for me to get inside and closes it, I think about what he brought up yesterday night in my room.

Since our date, we’ve been sneaking back and forth between each other’s houses at night. Adam is a heavy sleeper and mostly falls asleep on the couch downstairs with the television on and never hears us.

We have yet to tell anyone about us dating, and last night Alessio had told me he was ready to tell his parents about us, though his mother knew about us and our feelings. She hadn’t known about our date or the past week of us being together officially.

“It’s not that I don’t want to tell them, I just know your father thinks you could do so much better than me” I stare at my lap, still getting used to expressing my emotions.

I was never one to care about what others thought, but this is Alessio we’re talking about. His father has built this perfect idea in his head about the life his son should have and someone like me isn’t a part of that life.

“I don’t care what he thinks Honey. As I said, you’re perfect for me Honey, I see no one else but you, and I want no one else but you. If I have to say it a million times for you to believe that, then I will” His hand cups my chin, lifting my head so I’m staring him directly in his eyes.

I couldn’t wait to introduce Alessio to Adam and Celeste, knowing that they’d approve and be happy for me.

Even with Alessio’s words, I still hoped that his father didn’t see him differently because of me. The last thing I want to do is be the reason their relationship severs after Alessio told me that his father was starting to be accepting of his decisions.

“But we don’t have to do this tonight if you don’t want to.”

“No we can tell them tonight, I really want to see you all dressed up “ My hand falls on his thigh and I see how his demeanor changes like a switch at the smallest touch.

“Honey…” he trails off, eyes slipping down to my lips as my hand moves further up his thigh, but then I suddenly move back to my seat.

“You can’t be late to meet your father for apartment shopping right? You should take me home then” I can still feel him looking at me from the corner of my eye, but then I hear the car start up.

Taking me home turned into parked outside of my house, on Alessio’s lap my tongue mixing with his as I grind myself onto his erection which is deeply pressed into me.

I never forgot how big he was but fuck it felt like he was bigger than last time. My hands were in his hair, pulling on it the way he likes, the way that makes him moan, and the way that makes him suddenly thrust his hips up.

My back accidentally hits the honk, surprising both of us and making us break the kiss.

My chest is heaving like crazy and his pink lips are now a cherry red, “Celeste is waiting for me, I should get inside before she starts calling me”

I fall back into the passenger seat, fixing my hair while he adjusts himself and I peek over at the bulge in his pants that’s making me forget why I need to go inside the house now.

Before opening the car door, I lean over the console and bring our lips together for the last time.

“Y-You kill me every time you do that” He shuts his eyes and I pull away.

I love seeing how much of a shy mess he is even after all this time, though his confidence grew, he would forever be the stuttering mess I first met.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, this?” I lean over again, this time my knees are on the seat and my left hand is feeling upon his erection.

The shudder that elicits from him is enough to make me pulse against my underwear.

We hadn’t had sex in so long, but that didn’t mean I forgot how good it was. We were taking things slow, at least I was. I want to prove to myself at I can have a relationship that isn’t all about sex.

But that didn’t mean I couldn’t tease him, I like seeing him all flushed and desperate.

His hips slowly started to move at the pace of my hand, his eyes closed and his mouth slightly parted with incoherent words slipping through at a rate he could not control.

Then my phone rang, interrupting us and I could hear the small whine in his voice.

I picked up and it was Celeste asking if I wanted to help her make dinner for tonight, which she and Adam both thought was a regular dinner with only us three, no idea that Alessio would be bringing his family over tonight.

I told her that I was around the corner and that I’d be there soon before I hung up.

Alessio unlocked the car and I whispered into his ear.

“Think of me when you take care of that.”

“Are you sure we didn’t make too much? God, it’s like we’re going to feed another family” — She cuts herself off.

“Did you invite a guest?” Celeste turns wearing her apron with a big apple in the middle.

“Maybe when I said family dinner, I meant more than just our family,” I say, grabbing the plates from the cabinet.

“Is this the part where you finally introduce me to Alessio? I mean after Adam told me that you sneak him in at night, I’ve been waiting for this day to finally come” I almost dropped all the plates when she said that and Adam himself came down the stairs all dressed up.

“I don’t know what hurts more, the fact that you think I sleep like a pig. Or the fact that you haven’t introduced me to the guy that you’ve been sneaking into our house” He fixes the links of his cuffs on his suit.

“You’ve known all this time and you haven’t said anything?” He takes some of the stack of plates and helps me set them up.

“I wanted to see how long you could play Batman but I’ll finish setting up here, go get ready. These are your guests and you’re not even ready, you are a terrible host” He shakes his head jokingly and I throw my apron at him and rush upstairs.

After my shower, I was debating on a dress that would make a good impression. After I had decided and fixed my hair, the doorbell had rung downstairs and nerves hit me like a train.

I took a deep breath before walking downstairs, Adam was opening the door and greeting Carter and his wife, and Celeste did the same.

Alessio walked in after them, he wasn’t dressed in a suit but he was wearing a black turtleneck that was even better, he shook Adam’s hand and it was clear to me that we were sharing the same nerves.

My heels allowed everyone to turn to me but I only focused on him, being the only one able to get me through this night.

Just for a second, I looked at Carter as Cassia, Alessio’s mother embraced me for a hug.

“Hi darling, it’s so good to see you. You look lovely tonight” She complimented and I returned, then Carter greeted me with a simple and curt nod of his head.

Adam led us to the dining room, I sat next to Alessio and Celeste, while Carter sat across from us which didn’t help the fact he hadn’t said a word to me as we sat down and began.

Celeste sparked the conversation with Alessio’s mother and Carter finally turned his focus to me.

“What are you thinking of pursuing now?” Carter asked, lifting his glass of wine to drink.

“Alessio and I are attending the same university” Both Celeste and Cassia cease their conversation, under the table I feel Alessio place his hand on my thigh.

“I wasn’t aware of that” His eyes slid over to Alessio.

“She’s the reason I was finally accepted,” Alessio adds and gives my thigh a slight squeeze.

“What do you mean?” Now it was only Carter talking, Adam looked at me with the same questioning look because this would be the first time they all knew that we were partners.

“Alessio and I were partners, the final project wasn’t the only reason we were accepted, it was also all the talent and hard work he put into all of it. I think they even considered me.” I rested my hand on top of his, which is still resting on my thigh.

Celeste, Adam, and Cassia are smiling and Carter is still sitting there as if he’s judging the entire idea of his son and I working together during times he wasn’t aware of.

“If that’s the case then both of you are expecting to attend during the same semester, correct?” He puts his glass down and Alessio confirms.

“I think there’s something more here that you’re not reading,” Cassia says, placing a hand on her husband’s arm as she gives us a knowing smile.

The dinner continued, and Carter mentioned that he was retiring from the academy to focus on being home more with Cassia while Alessio was away.

Adam spoke about how it was like having me back in his life to the point he had to stop because he began to cry a little bit which caused me to cry.

I excused myself and went upstairs to collect myself. Footsteps came toward me and I thought it was Alessio coming to check up on me, instead, it was Carter.

Alessio said he’d be the one to tell his father but something in me wanted to be the one to tell him and explain to him that I wasn’t ruining his son’s life like I’m sure he thinks I will.

“Sometimes I don’t think I deserve him, he’s all the things that I never thought I deserved to have in my life. You probably wonder why he picked me instead of anyone else and I used to think that too, and wonder what was it about me that made him choose me. He sees me as so much more, he sees all the things people choose to ignore. He makes me so happy that I can’t even put it into words”

“I used to think that I wasn’t good for him, that I’d only bring him trouble and ruin him but he’s only ruined me, in all the good ways, I want to make him happy, I want to be with him forever and I want to love him and I’m learning how to”

“I’m not asking you to accept me or us being together, you don’t have to like me. But I don’t want to be the reason you two have a fallout” I finish and wait for his response, but there’s silence for a few seconds before he speaks.

“When you first came to the academy, I knew exactly what I was in store for. You had the same attitude as your mother and I knew that you didn’t care about anything, you purposely failed your exams and you didn’t attend lectures, just like she would. Over time I noticed that gradually changed and you became not only a better student but a person as well” He fixes his tie and takes a step forward.

“Just like you, he changed as well. I saw him more often than him being in the library all the time, he wasn’t as quiet and I saw him putting more time into his art.”

“Even if I wanted to disagree, I have to accept that you both are good for each other. I see how much you’ve grown out of society’s expectation for you and I congratulate you” He walks towards me.

“I knew there was a reason he turned down the one-bedroom apartment we saw today” He muttered underneath his breath and I barely heard it.

I wasn’t expecting the hug Carter gave me before telling me he was going back downstairs, and I didn’t expect Alessio to be standing in the corner, no doubt he heard everything that was said.

I don’t even get to say anything to Alessio before I’m being lifted off my feet and brought into a soft and passionate kiss.

“I wanted to come and check on you and I heard you two talking so I didn’t want to interrupt” He whispers against my lips.

“You didn’t tell me you couldn’t find any apartments you liked today,” I say and he sets me down.

“It’s not that I couldn’t find any, I wanted to go looking for apartments with you.”

“With me?” I squint my eyebrows until I come to my own conclusion. “Are you saying that”—

His hands slide down to my waist and my body is being pulled against his.

“I don’t want to live in an apartment by myself or on campus with a roommate. I want to be with you, I want to see you everyday and I want to wake up with you on my chest with the entire blanket on your side” We both share a small laugh at his last sentence.

He wants to live together, there was nothing I wanted more than to see him all the time. Feel him next to me and him helping me sleep on nights I couldn’t, finishing classes, and going back home to him.

“You make me so unbelievably happy Alessio Rivers” I drop my head on his chest, “To the point where I smile just at the thought of you”

One final kiss and we returned to the dinner, Adam allowing Alessio to stay over tonight though he adds the fact that he’s already been doing so for the past week.

While everyone is in their own conversation, Alessio makes sure to lean over close to my ear.

“I love you,” He says before placing a kiss on my cheek and joining in a conversation.

I look at him, his side profile is absolute perfection and he knows it. I love the dimple on his cheek as he talks and smiles and I can look at him forever and I want to.

He’s all I’ll ever want and need.

• Either one or two chapters left and then the epilogue & on to a new book !

• What’s your favorite Honey moment & your favorite Alessio moment.

• kisses ❤️

chapt 60 • Forever

authors note: I know

at

the beginning of the book, Honey was nineteen but then I changed it so that she was eighteen instead, but I’m not entirely sure if there are more indications about her age but she is eighteen now turning nineteen

in this chapter !

Forever  & More

I never understood how someone could be so beautiful, even when sleeping.

Honey was cuddled into my pillow, her face buried in the pillow case and her leg thrown over it as she comfortably slept.

It killed me to get up this morning and leave her, but I was just glad that I was finally back. I went to buy her a large bouquet of assorted flowers, with little papers inside of the bouquet with her favorite poetry lines written on them for her first birthday gift.

I knew how much she didn’t like her birthday, and how she didn’t like big celebrations but I don’t want her to see her birthday as a bad day anymore and wanted to replace all those bad memories with ones that I know she’ll love.

I was so in love with her that it hurt but it was pain that I didn’t mind going through.

When I went back to her, she was still sleeping and I didn’t want to wake her, so I left the flowers with a card right beside her bed so she’d see it as soon as she woke up.

“This is so sweet of you, she’s going to love whatever you have planned for her today,” Celeste says as she helps me look for a dress for Honey.

I asked her to come along because I wasn’t the best when it came to shopping for others and I wanted to pick a dress I knew she would like.

“Did she like the flowers?” I ask, growing a bit nervous that the incredibly large bouquet was a bit much and she didn’t like them.

“She adores them, she’s read every single poetry line you placed inside, look” She opens her wallet, taking out a picture of Honey sitting on the bed with her addictive smile, so far gone staring at the flowers she didn’t even notice the photo was being taken.

Celeste let me have the photo and I couldn’t stop staring at it, at her. There were never enough words to describe her.

Celeste moves my attention from the photo when she holds up a midnight blue dress, close to black. The dress itself would be nice, but imagining Honey in it made it stunning.

The dress was completely backless until it stopped where you would be able to see Honey’s back dimples, its material would make the moon shine upon the dress and shine upon her and that’s when I knew it was the one and bought it for her.

I couldn’t wait to see her tonight, but Adam had his birthday surprise for her, and I knew it would not only make her happy but it would make her emotional.

The flowers haven’t stopped making me smile since I woke up this morning and saw them as Celeste came to bring me a large tray of food.

I knew it was all for my birthday, and I wanted to spend the entire day being in my room, in his arms, and letting the day pass by like any regular day.

I wasn’t the biggest fan of my birthday and that was because most of them consisted of parties that I didn’t want, filled with people I didn’t know and who constantly judged me.

But this year was different, this year I was around people who actually loved me.

Adam was currently driving us somewhere, he wouldn’t tell me where and told me to stop asking before he left me on the side of the road and gave me the directions and would force me to walk there myself.

“Don’t even think about asking again” He says with his focus on the road when I turn my head to the side.

“I was going to ask if you brought snacks, we’ve been driving for two hours” I slump back into my seat and see as he shakes his head.

“Correction, I’ve been driving for two hours. You were asleep for the first hour” The car begins to slow down as I peer out the window.

We turned into a large cemetery but it was beautiful, it had a large water fountain in the middle and butterflies flying around everywhere.

Adam parked the car and I was so lost looking at the surroundings that I didn’t even try to think of the reason why he would take me here.

When we got out of the car, Adam asked for my hand and I followed him through the path until we stopped at a large tomb with fresh flowers surrounding it along with butterflies spreading the designs of their wings on them.

My eyes read over my mother’s name and I found myself squeezing Adam’s hand, I bent down in front of it and continued to read her name over and over until my eyes started to blur.

“She was originally buried by your Grandma but I know she would want to be buried here instead, surrounded by nature and beauty, because that’s what Ellie is, beauty and peace” He bends down next to me, his arm over my shoulder.

“I come here every day and clean it and talk to her, about how much I miss her and wish she was here and before you knew that I was your father. I talked a lot about you, how I wish I was the one to see you grow up and give you the life she would’ve wanted” He speaks and I don’t hold back the tears slipping down my cheek.

“I don’t know if you remember but when the academy went on vacation and I told you that I was traveling for closure, I was working to get her buried here instead. Something in me knew it would be a matter of time before you found the truth and I wanted her to be close to the both of us” When he finishes, I turn and hug him tightly.

“Thank you, for being good to her, for being good to me,” I say, slightly sobbing into his chest but he lifts my head.

“Don’t thank me for something you both deserve, that everyone deserves. Do you want to say anything before we leave, I can go wait in the car” He offers and begins to stand but I stop him.

He stays next to me and I collect myself before turning to my mother’s tomb.

“I know it’s not the way you wanted me to grow up but I’m learning how to get past it, and grow from my old ways. For the first time in my life, I finally feel loved and wanted, and I’ve found someone who wants to love me and who I know you would love if you met him” I take one of the flowers on the side of the tomb and place it right next to the framed photo of her.

I close my eyes and tell her that I love her.

The only information I received from both Adam and Celeste was that I should put on a dress and be ready for another birthday surprise.

Adam dropped me off in front of a huge yet breathtaking building, before I even got to ask where this was, he was driving off and wishing me one final happy birthday.

The building was massive, the stairs were long, and took me a full minute to get to the slightly opened doors that I pushed open, it all felt like one huge fairytale.

When I entered, I couldn’t stop the gasp that disappeared from my lips. The outside was massive but the inside of the building was gigantic, it was all so beautiful. It’s a museum, with different and old-fashioned styled paintings and sculptures everywhere and beautiful lights dimmed perfectly.

The sound of someone playing the piano caught my attention. In the middle, underneath a chandelier was the person I had been thinking about and missing all of today, Alessio.

I stood there watching him from afar, how easily his fingers glided across the keys and the soothing piece he was playing, not even looking at the notes, he played as if he mastered the songs perfectly which I didn’t doubt he did.

I approached him, my heels mixing in the sound of the piano, I stood beside it and let him finish before I said anything.

I looked down at my feet and found rose petals around the piano in a circle.

He played the last part before stopping and looking at me, admiring me from head to toe before reaching to fix his tie.

He gently took my hand and I sat down on the stand right next to him, “What is this place?”

“It’s a museum that my mother’s friend works at, she closed it down for us when I told her that I wanted to do something special for you” He stands up, and I’m still sitting.

He bends down to my lips, his left hand tilting my chin higher so that my breathing matches his.

“Happy birthday my beautiful girl, can I?” He peers down at my lips and I wrap one of my hands around his tie.

“You don’t have to ask to kiss me, you know I love when you do” He captures my lips softly after I finish my sentence, pulling away and leaving me stunned at the sudden drop in his voice.

I would never get tired of him calling me his beautiful girl, it never failed to make a swarm of butterflies dance in my stomach and my heart flutter.

“I knew you’d look beautiful in this dress, you look beautiful in everything and nothing” He whispers in my ear.

I was taken by surprise by his words, I felt myself leaning into him more. I smirked to myself, the confidence radiating off of him was sexy to me.

He takes my hand and walks me further into the museum, we go up a case of stairs and I look and admire the paintings that are high up on the walls.

When we make it to the top, I catch Alessio with his eyes on me and not on the elegant art around us.

“How can you not be looking at how beautiful this all is?” I place my palms on the railing, looking at how incredibly breathtaking everything is.

That’s when I feel a light kiss on my shoulder, his hands are now on top of mine and his body is pressed against my back. He kisses up my neck and I find my eyes fluttering closed.

“It’s hard to look at all of this when you’re here. You will always be the one who takes my breath away more than any piece of art in the world” He says against my skin and my body begins to warm along with my face.

I bite my lip and he rejoins our hand and walks out of the museum onto a balcony. I almost die at the view and how beautiful everything is.

“Why did you do all of this? I would’ve been fine with a small dinner or something” I turned to him just to meet the sun behind us, illuminating the brown in his eyes behind his glasses.

“I don’t want your birthday to be something you hate or for you to treat it as another unimportant day because it is important and I want you to remember this. I want this day to be a memory you remember when you think of your birthday” He backs us up until my back hits the railing of the balcony.

The breeze is nice against my skin and I can’t explain all the things I’m feeling right now. He did all of this, just for me to learn how to love my birthday again, to appreciate it when it’s been ruined every year for me.

He knew all the right things to say and I didn’t, I couldn’t figure out how or what I want to say what I’m feeling right now so I put it in the words that I knew I was ready to finally say.

I take his hand and place it over my heart which feels like it’s about to jump out of my chest.

He’s managed to heal something that I thought would be torn forever, he’s managed to make me realize that I’m worthy and deserving of love, his love. That I’m capable of the emotion everyone’s told me that I could never feel for someone.

“I love you Alessio Rivers, I love you so much that I can’t even put it into words” The second I finished the sentence, it felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off of my heart.

I waited for him to say something but he was switching his eyes between the both of mine as if he was dreaming the entire thing.

“Say it again, please” His voice turned into a whisper and he dropped his forehead against mine. I find my eyes tearing for the second time today and I can’t help but want to say it over and over until he never forgets.

“I am in love with you, I’m so deeply lost in it that I don’t ever want to be found” My hands are flat against his chest and his are on my waist.

“Honey… God, you don’t know what you’re doing to me, I love you more than anything” He pulls our bodies closer together and joins our lips.

This kiss is different, it’s filled with love, lust, passion, and everything we’re both feeling right now and it’s enough to get me lost in it.

He raises one of his legs to the side of his hip, I can feel exactly what my words are doing to him, from how deeply hard he’s kissing me and the growing bulge in his pants pressing into the inside of my thigh.

He moves his lips down my neck, he knows where to kiss to make my head fall back, and my moans slip into the quiet breeze-filled air.

He uses his thumb to brush over my shoulder, pulling down the strap of my dress until it slides down my shoulder. Then his fingers run up my spine until it meets the back of my neck to give him more access to my skin.

My head was racing at the same pace, my arousal was growing even more to the point I could feel how wet I was getting.

“Keep saying it, I want to hear you” He used his tongue before sucking on the skin exposed on my chest as the strap of my dress slipped off my shoulder.

“I love you” I loved saying it, saying it to him. The more I said it, the more he kissed and used his tongue to make my skin.

“Let me show you how much I love you” He looked me in my eyes before dropping to his knees, I clutched the railing as he slowly raised my dress up, exposing my legs and my thighs.

He kissed both of my thighs before lifting one of them over his shoulder, kissing and marking the inside of the same thigh. My eyes fluttered closed and I couldn’t wait until his mouth went exactly where I wanted him.

He pressed two fingers against my underwear which I knew gave away how ready I was for him, I felt his lips over the fabric before he pushed it to the side and ran a finger through my folds and over my sensitive clit.

She loves me.

I thought I had imagined it but then she said it the second time my heart fucking exploded.

She went from thinking she would never say those words, and here she was saying them to me.

She was standing here on a museum balcony with a gorgeous view with her leg on my shoulder, telling me that she loves me over and over as I used my tongue to get her closer and closer.

I held her hand as I lapped my tongue over her clit, tasting her on my tongue and moaning every time she did out in the air, she struggled to keep her eyes open as I entered a finger into her and her pussy clenched around me.

“Oh my… why are you so good at that” She lifted her head from it recently being thrown back as she whimpered into the sky, her hand found my hair and she tugged it the way I liked.

I know what her body wants, I know what drives her crazy and what makes her cum. I love knowing that I’m the only one who gets to see her fall apart like this and see her squirm on my face.

Her hand in mine was my way of telling her that not only was I going to be there but that I love her, more than she will ever know.

The beautiful girl that was now coming on my tongue was pulling me off my knees and crashing her lips on mine, her hands were pulling my shirt tucked into my pants out and quickly unbuttoning all the buttons until she got the full sight of my abdomen and the view of how hard I was for her.

“This is what you do to… me” I groan out as she runs her hand over me, I move us over to the large seat in the middle of the balcony. 

It was supposed to be for us to sit and admire the view but judging by the look in her eyes, not only mixed in with eagerness and desire but she was also looking at me with love which told me it would be used for so much more.

I used my elbows to prop me up as she slipped the dress off of her body and took in every inch of her perfect skin, we were so high up that no one would be able to see us and all we got was the view of the sun and the orange and gray skies through the pillars of the museum.

She helped me remove my pants and darted her tongue out to lick her bottom lip, she removed the rest of her clothes to climb over me.

She leaned down, her bare pussy barely hovering over my dick which made it harder not to lift my hips to find some sort of friction between us.

She reached between us to stroke me and move me between her wet and dripping folds and I let the whimper pass through my lips as my hands find their place on her hips.

“I miss my shy and whimpering boy, the one who blushed whenever he saw my tits” She uses my tip to run circles over her clit and it elicits more and more whimpers from me and I know she likes it when I moan.

She barely enters my tip into her before slipping me all the way in and my grip on her hips becomes harder as she begins to kiss at my neck, marking the same spots that I did on her neck so we match.

“When you move like that… I can’t help it” I can’t keep my eyes open when she repeats the action of her hips grinding down on me, taking me deeper into her sweet pussy the more she lifts herself and slams herself back onto me.

“Like this?” She leaves a kiss on my chest before placing her palms flat on my chest and continues to bounce on top of me.

“Fuck… harder…” She’s smirking down at me as she begins to slowly stop herself and I groan in desperation.

“Say please, and I’ll think about it” Her left-hand cups my jaw and I can’t deny how hot it is to see her take control of me, I love it when she does.

“Please go harder. I want you to watch you feel good on my dick” My begging only makes her smile and the sound of her ass connecting with my thighs only gets louder and her nails begin to move down my abs while my fingernails dig into her hips but it was clear to both of us that the pain only turned us on even more.

“There he is” She runs her finger over my blushing cheeks, I curl my lip back into my mouth but I don’t take my eyes off of her, I just can’t miss how good she looks on top of me with this view behind her.

But I want her to see the view for herself.

I know she wants to control but she needs to see the world because it’s what I will give her.

I turn us over, and now I’m behind her, holding her up by her waist and one of my hands on her neck as she moans and clenches hard around me.

“God if you could see yourself right now, it’s almost unbelievable how fucking beautiful you are,” I say into her ear and she holds onto the hand that’s on her throat.

“You do know how beautiful you are right? Or are you in need of a deep reminder?” I slowly pull out and slam back into her which causes her to roll her eyes back and nod her head.

“A reminder won’t hurt, will it my love?” I can see her biting her lip with a smirk and it makes me moan because of how perfectly sexy she is.

“Fuck I love you” I pant into her shoulder and I feel my dick twitch with the need to cum.

“I know you do, and I love you so much it hurts” She stops my movements and moves us so she’s back on top of me but I’m sitting up this time and she’s staring deeply into my eyes.

“I need to hear you say it as we cum, please” I help her move her hips, the look on her face and the way she’s tightening around me, and how she can’t stop all the entrancing moans from escaping her tells me she’s on the brink.

She repeats it like it’s the only words she can think of right now and I feel her cum all around me which makes my release come early.

I’m panting as if there’s not enough oxygen in the world and the light of the sun dims as it sets.

We lay in each other’s arms for a little bit longer.

“Thank you for making this my favorite birthday,” She says to me as she places a loving kiss on my cheek.

“I want this forever, with you” Her hand finds mine and I bring it up to my lips to kiss. “I love you, Alessio, I’ll never stop saying it”

“I will love you forever, my beautiful girl.”

• Complete ! We are finally done with the story of Honey & Alessio.

• Doesn’t mean that the series is over !

• Thank you so much for reading especially if you’ve started from the beginning.

• The Epilogue will be out & then I have a few things to unpack before it’s completely finished.

Epilogue

This entire morning has been one I know I will remember, from the breakfast Adam made to the long self-care morning Celeste and I just came back from.

“I haven’t seen him in four weeks of the course. I miss him, speaking to him on the phone isn’t enough” I finished packing my room up with the help of Adam.

Alessio moved into our apartment four weeks before me. I wanted to spend a little bit more time with Adam and Celeste before moving away.

I’ve missed him terribly and hearing his voice on the phone every day hasn’t helped that. And only seeing his face through a screen hasn’t made it the slightest bit better.

I was leaving for my flight in a couple of hours and spending the rest of my time saying goodbye.

“Seemed like you two have done nothing but call each other since he left. Every time we’re talking you’re rushing off the second your phone or your laptop begins to ring” Adam says, placing bringing me another empty suitcase.

I zip up my third suitcase and I move on to putting the rest of my belongings in the fourth.

“Four weeks felt like months,” I tell him, “I can barely process that we’re moving in together”

“Well you need to remember that you have to visit, holidays are non-negotiable and if you don’t come back. We’re coming over there” He refers to both him and Celeste, who cried before she left to take care of a few things.

“I never thought you’d be the one forcing me to visit after your whole speech about how thankful you are that you get your house back” I helped him take my suitcases downstairs.

“That’s because you said my house will return to its boring state while you’re gone” We place them in front of the door.

“Was I wrong?” I shrug my shoulders and check the time, I still have three hours before I’m supposed to be at the airport.

“But all jokes aside, you know I will miss you, right? I know you’ll do such great things and won’t fail to make me even prouder, I love you, Honey, never forget that” Adam’s hands are on my shoulders before he’s pulling me into a hug.

“I love you too, I miss you already and I haven’t even left yet” I hug him back, and I sigh, knowing it’s going to be harder than I thought moving away from Adam. After how close we had gotten in such a short period.

The beep of the car outside tells me Celeste is here to take me to the airport.

When Adam pulls away, he’s wiping a tear from the corner of his eye before opening the door and carrying my suitcases to the car.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come to the airport?” I turn and ask him when he’s done putting my suitcases in the trunk.

“If I do, I’ll just end up boarding the flight with you. Besides, I have to watch all those stupid movies you told me to watch that I never did.”

“But don’t worry about me, go and live your life and spend it with him. I know he’s dying just waiting for you to knock on the door, alright?” I nod at his words, thinking about Alessio and happy I am to finally get to see him after an entire month away from him.

Adam and I say our goodbyes, he gave me a photo to hang up that Celeste took of the both of us sleeping on the couch during a movie. His legs propped on the table and his head on my shoulder, my legs curled up to my side and my head on the armrest.

I spend the entire car ride staring and crying at the photo because I miss my father already.

I was fixing everything and making sure it all looked perfect before she got here.

I was going to make her food because I knew she’d be hungry but then I knew Honey would rather relax first and she enjoyed watching and helping me cook more, so I would wait until she was relaxed before making anything.

I made space for all her things in our room, I loved referring to it as our room and our apartment. It had been so long without her, at least it felt that way and my heart wouldn’t stop beating fast knowing that she was coming today.

My phone rang downstairs and I discarded the towel that I had started folding, hurrying down the steps so that I wouldn’t miss her call.

I hadn’t heard her voice all day because she was spending her time with her family.

“Hello?” She said through the phone and though I’ve heard her voice millions of times, it never fails to make me nervous.

I ask her how her flight was and where she was now and began to grow nervous when she hadn’t said anything.

“I wish I could tell you that I’m in the car and on my way to the apartment…” Her sentence fades out at the end, “I really wish I didn’t have to say this but my flight got canceled”

I sat down on the couch, and couldn’t deny the pain that was starting to build in my chest, “Oh, do you know when the next one is? I don’t mind paying for it this time”

“I checked and it won’t be for another three weeks… I won’t be able to fly there until next month…” We both go quiet and I feel my heart drop.

Another month without her, I was barely getting through this month.

“Say something… please” I sigh at her voice.

“I just, I miss you so much It’s been hell without having you here” My voice gets lower, my elbow on my knee and my hair pushes through my hair.

“I know and I miss you too, more than I can explain” I hear her end go quiet for a few seconds.

My doorbell rings and I don’t know whether I want to ignore it and talk to her as long as I can or open it and hope it’s something to make me feel better.

I decide to open it asking her to hold on, I don’t expect to open my door and find her standing in front of me and telling me that asking her to wait is a rude way of showing her that I miss her.

I don’t give her time to say anything else before I’m lifting her off her feet and into the air, littering kisses all over her face and burying my face in her neck as if she isn’t really in front of me.

“I don’t know whether to tell you that I hate you or love you right now” I pull back, wrapping my arms tighter around her, almost bursting with happiness that’s she really here.

“Well whether you decide to hate me, I love you” She clasps her hands on either side of my face and presses a soft kiss to my lips, wrapping her legs around me.

“Now can you please let me see our apartment now? I can’t leave my suitcases in the hallway” I love hearing her say in our apartment, I still have her in my arms and carry her inside with one arm and take one of her suitcases with my other hand.

“It’s so beautiful” Her eyes scan the living room into the kitchen, her first time seeing it with all the things I’ve put up and furniture I’ve moved in.

“You’re beautiful” She looks at me as if I’ve already been looking at her instead of the apartment.

“I’m also so tired and sore, sitting for that long is so uncomfortable,” She says and I set her down.

I go back out to take in the rest of her suitcases and shut the door, watching her as she takes in the entire apartment and trying to get a glance upstairs.

“I would’ve been here a couple of minutes earlier but I asked the driver to stop at the campus, I wanted to walk around there for a little bit” She yawns mid-sentence and I go over and take her hand.

I led her upstairs and I could feel how tired she is so I lifted her back up and took her into the bathroom, starting a warm bath for both of us and undressing her. I know how much she likes warm baths because it makes her sleep better.

“I missed you” I remove my shirt and she removes the rest of her clothes.

“Trust me, when I say I know” She gives me a knowing look before dipping her foot into the bath to make sure it’s warm before getting in, leaning her head against the tiled wall.

I sit behind her, trailing my fingers up her arms as the goosebumps rise on her skin.

“What do you mean by that? Hm?” I leave a kiss on her shoulder, then one on her neck.

“A lot of those phone calls were far from innocent, many of them consisted of you panting how much you missed me in my ear” Her eyes are closed and her head is now resting on my shoulder while the bubbles she’s added surround our bodies.

She’s still so beautiful even more than that, my hands move down from massaging her shoulders to my fingers gliding down between her breast and down her stomach. Over a new belly piercing, she’s done and onto her thighs.

I massage her thighs and move into the inside of them, her lips part slightly to release a pleasing sound.

“I’ve recalled more of those calls being you repeating to me over and over how much you love me while you touched yourself to the sound of my voice,” I say in her ear as my hands travel further up her thighs.

“You loved every moment of it” She turns her head to me, her lips on my neck.

I tilt her chin higher so they are close to my lips, “I did love it and I love you.”

The next day I decided to take another full tour of the campus. Everyone was friendly and helpful and it was refreshing to be around.

I looked at all the artwork from their art academy placed in the halls and outside the art building which I would spend all my time running back and forth through for classes. All of the students from past and present were incredibly talented.

I could see why this was Alessio’s dream school.

Thinking about him, I went to go find him as he took his tour of the campus and building.

He texted me that he was visiting their library and I should’ve known he’d be there, he’s even managed to turn one of the empty rooms into a smaller library for the both of us.

Their library seemed like five buildings in one, it was bigger than any I have ever seen, but I could still spot Alessio sitting at one of the tables with his headphones on and his eyes scanning through a book while a pile sat on the side of the table.

I shook my head because it reminded me of the first time I had approached him, in the library at Hartford.

He raises his gaze from his books when I pull the seat next to him closer and sit down, facing him with my hand on his forearm.

“You won’t happen to be looking for someone to tutor, would you?” I sit on the chair beside him, pulling it closer and letting my hand rest on his forearm.

“Depends, I can’t afford distractions this year. I would hate to fail my classes because of such a pretty face” He turned his head to me and I flicked my eyes down to his lips.

“I promise I won’t be too distracting, but I can’t promise that I won’t be distracted” Our voices are low and though Alessio is trying to keep his control, I can see my voice is affecting him as the blush crawls up his neck.

“Then I’ll just have to guide your attention back to the task at hand” His hand falls onto my bare thigh, sliding in between them, his thumb caressing my skin which causes me to pinch my thighs together.

“Is this your way of telling that you’re good with your hands? I don’t doubt that, but I love to see that theory play out” My hand falls to his lap while the other one rests on his shoulder.

To the lady sitting at her desk all the way in the back, it would look like we were talking about cute couple things, oblivious to the fact we were giving each other hints on what we wanted to do to each other later.

“You have a very daring mouth” He clears his throat and adjusts himself in the seat.

“It’s very skilled too, but I’m sure you’re already so aware of that” I lean closer to his ear and smile as I talk to make it seem as if I was telling him something sweet when in reality it was far from innocent.

“If you aren’t, I can always show you in a quiet room somewhere. If you agree to help me throughout the following years, what do you say my love?” I kiss the spot underneath his earlobe and the sweet spot on his neck.

“I’ll do it” He breathily says but I shake my head.

“You’ll do what?” He faces me and sees what I’m doing, knowing how much I love it when he vocally says things.

“I’ll tutor you.”

• Thank you all for reading ! Sorry it took so long for me to publish this, I was working on the first chapters of my new book coming soon.

• There will be bonus chapters & I’m still debating on what the next book of this series should be.

New Book ~ Beautiful Addiction !

Hi my loves ! I’m excited to announce that my newest book is now out !

This book has nothing to do with Sweet Innocence for any wondering!

Please go check it out and hopefully you enjoy it ❤️!